SWITZERLAND FOR NOVICES
by Norman deGuerre
Well, I want to welcome you, a Novice, to Diplomacy — What we Intermediates call "The Sport of Princes."
The flag of Switzerland consists of a red flag with a white (a bold, equilateral) cross in the centre [leftmost flag in the title at the top]. It is one of only two square sovereign-state flags, the other being the flag of Vatican City. (The civil and state ensign, used by Swiss ships and boats, has the more common proportions of 3:2.)(Wikipedia: "Flag of Switzerland" article; February 2016)
That's pretty interesting, I think. I will discuss the Vatican in my next article.
There's really not a lot to say about Switzerland . . .
A sage once said: "You don't want to even go there." It's used to say that "you do not want to think or talk about something because it is too difficult or unpleasant." (Cambridge Idioms Dictionary, 2nd ed.. (2006)).
I can't say that it is too difficult or unpleasant to want to think or talk about. The rules just say it is impassible. That's it on the map below . . .
Switzerland is that little two-tone tan splot in the middle of the map. From here it looks like a big muddy lake (with stripes) surrounded by Burgundy, Munich, Tyrolia, Piedmont, and Marseille. Don't say "Moo-nitch" or "Mar-sales" - You'll sound like a prototypical American. It's Mew-nick, and Mar-say . . .
It might be small, but a scientific survey was conducted by Murky Research, and Switzerland was considered the third most imporatant area in the game, behind Munich (Mew-nick) and the North Sea.
If one could go to Switzerland, you might encounter their National Guard. I can't speculate how good their soldiers actually are, but they have some awesome kick-ass uniforms.
It's kind of too bad you can't go there . . . Here is some recommended reading: Protocol Regulations for the Swiss Confederation. It is required if you ever want to talk to, or read Laurence Peery — an Expert par excellence (in his own mind).
Until the next issue in which I will discuss Ireland. Who can discuss Ireland without talking about the Roman Catholic church and the Vatican?
You don't want to go there!
The mysterious Mssr. de Guerre returns to the pages of The Zine after a lengthy sabbatical. His "hands-on" research of the fifty shades of gray resulted in a documentary film soon to air on the S&M Network.
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