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Why is it that so often Germany and Russia clash in the first year of the game
over Sweden? Why do we so often see England make a play for Sweden as soon
as he can? How can it be that in a quick sampling of the games I currently
Master, no less than six of the seven powers is in possession of Sweden?
What makes Sweden so darned popular?
The answer is obvious. Players want their units to reach Sweden so that they can receive the excellent Diplomatic advice offered by Agnetha, Benny, Björn, and Anni-Frid, also known as ABBA. |
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Oh wait. It seems that ABBA only provided the music for the lyrics
you're about to read. The words themselves seem to be merciless
replacements by Jack Rudd, a.k.a. "The Karaoke Kid."
So it must be the meatballs. --Ed. | |
All my armies must guard Constantinople
And I'm feeling so distraught
There is no-one who will give me some support.
There's not a soul out there...
No-one to hear my prayer...
Chorus:
Gimme, gimme, gimme an ally this autumn
Won't somebody help me keep the Russian at bay?
Gimme, gimme, gimme an ally this autumn
In exchange I'll help you any possible way!
I can't stop them from making the breakthrough
I succumb to their advance
The Italian is more concerned with France.
I despair as I look around the hall
And there's no-one on my side, no-one at all.
There's not a soul out there...
No-one to hear my prayer...
(Repeat Chorus)
NOTE: This is an account of a game actually played at Cambridge, with the protagonists being Vivien Easson (Austria), Jon Amery (England), Matthew Hartley (France), Lawrence Davies (Germany), Jack Rudd (Italy), Tanya Fox (Russia) and James Wood (Turkey). It ended in Winter 1904, with the centre counts being France 11, Austria, Germany and Russia 7, Italy 2, Turkey 1, England 0.Do you know of the Lepanto?
We were playing the Lepanto;
I had an army Tunis going through the Eastern Med.
What a brilliant Lepanto,
All our plans were going forward just exactly as I'd said.
We took all the Balkans and I thought the Turk would soon be dead.
Chorus:
There was something in the air that night,
The game was right,
Lepanto!
It was going well for you and me,
For Italy,
Lepanto!
Though I never thought that we could lose, there's no regret;
If I had to play the game again,
I'd play the same
Lepanto!
Now we've finished that Lepanto,
It would all have gone so well if I had only got the chance
To go through with that Lepanto...
I lost half my home SC's while I pursued with that advance,
I'd completely overlooked that utter backstabbing from France.
(Repeat chorus)
You hear her voice everywhere
Taking the chair
She's a leading lady
And with no trace of hesitation she keeps going
Chorus:
Back on her word
Stabbing your back
Suddenly launching a surprise attack
She's a girl with a taste for the world
(The world is like a playing-ground where she goes rushing)
---
Back on her word
Winning the game
Being the leader in the Hall of Fame
She's extreme, if you know what I mean
Her play is what I admire
She's great at tactics and a brilliant liar
Each time when you try to stab
She's there before you on that one-centre grab
And then she smiles so sweet
Moving her fleets
Into your home centres
And with no trace of hesitation she keeps going
(Repeat chorus.)
You hear her voice everywhere
Taking the chair
She's a leading lady
And with no trace of hesitation she keeps going
Back on her word
Breaking her way
Suddenly launching a surprise attack
She's a girl with a taste for the world
(The world is like a playing-ground where she goes rushing)
---
Back on her word
Winning the game
Being the leader in the Hall of Fame
She's extreme, if you know what I mean
(She's just one of those for whom an act of mercy's simply absurd)
And she goes
Back on her word
I could only watch in pain
At your massive centre gain, oh,
"Stab! Stab!" I cried as your knife hit my back
"Stab! Stab!", you suddenly switched your attack
"Stab! Stab!", as you moved your fleets through the Black
And I sit in my chair unhappily
Wondering what made you start attacking me, so
"Stab! Stab!" I cried as your knife hit my back, oh,
"Stab! Stab!" I cried as your knife hit my back.
Through the game you'd been my friend
But those moves caused this to end
I just can't believe I could have been so badly mistaken
Was it me or was it you?
Tell me, are we really through?
Now you've taken Ankara my whole position is breaking
And despite the press I send
I just know I can't defend, so:
"Stab! Stab!" I cried as your knife hit my back
"Stab! Stab!", you suddenly switched your attack
"Stab! Stab!", as you moved your fleets through the Black
And I sit in my chair unhappily
Wondering what made you start attacking me, so
"Stab! Stab!" I cried as your knife hit my back, oh,
"Stab! Stab!" I cried as your knife hit my back, oh,
"Stab! Stab!" I cried as your knife hit my back, oh,
"Stab! Stab!" I cried as your knife hit my back.
(fade)
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Jack Rudd ([email protected]) |