| Broadcasts for Fall of 1907 in goofy |
Movement
Lots of lovely points, for my lovely, lovely friends.
Germany: 2
Turkey : 1
France : 1
Italy : 1
England: 2
Still need to get to MID and Boh. Enjoy.
Freddie, let's meet in Piedmont.
K-nnnn-ighit, you're welcome to Brest, but only if you fly in from
Liverpool.
First, apologies for the ungoofiness of my move. I feared
utter extinction this year, and thought I needed a SC.
goofy votes: everything is such a mess that it is hard for me to make
many distinctions. I like the Turkish army in Edinburgh, but those
points I think go to England.
A - E 2 F 1 G 1 I 0 R 2 T 1
France: how can we meet in Piedmont? I'm in the way? Maybe I could
convoy A Spa - Pie? Support from Marseilles?
Turkey: Don't kill me! Don't kill me! ARRRRRGH! Hmm... I'm already
undead, you can't kill me! :P
F.F.
F: Proxy Spain to me :)
T: My assault upon Constantinople will soon succeed. Prepare to die!
(Um, would you be a sport and get out of the way? Much obliged :)
I: Face it, your end is nigh! Get your end out of my face !! :)
(Stoop for humor!)
R: You may have your way with Africa, but please don't destroy the
Cafe Americain. It has a special place in my heart. Say hi to Sam
for me!
G: If you get your fleet down here, I'll support you into Spain. It
would be grand to meet the JackRobert, finally. I tried to meet your
master-hunting army in Syria, but Turkey got in the way.
E: The Scots will never forgive you :)
Freddie
I was thinking you could convoy me and bounce from Marseilles.
GM's goofy points for spring 1907
A0, E3, F1, G1, I0, R2, T0
Austria: Have a nice break with the Marseillaise fish soup.
England: Convoying Turkey onto your island looks definitely goofy to
me!
France: Well, Gas is as uninspiring for a fleet as was Spa(nc).
Germany: 1 mercy point for having only one unit.
Italy: I thought your expansion time was over? Not that it mattered;
you get no points these years, remember?
Russia: 2 point for sticking to your goals.
Turkey: Making it into England is goofy, but that bonus is compensated
for by the rest of your actions.
Ok folks, I'll be gone for the rest of the week. Keep up the good
stuff!
Robert
Goofy points:
A 1
E 2
G 1
I 1
R 2
ENGLAND!! A Turkish army in England!! Many thanks to John Bull for his
cooperation (Well, I guess Scotland really isn't England, but it's good
enough for the girls we're with).
Anyway, the goofy votes....
Austria: 2 (your attack on Constantinople will fail!)
England: 3 (for obvious reasons)
France: 0
Italy: 0 (sorry, master's orders)
Germany: 1
Russia: 1 (you have almost conquered every province on the board)
Anyone out there willing to convoy me edi-nrg-nth-eng-iri-nat-lvp?
McCrae
Why don't you go whole hog and convoy
Edi-Nth-Eng-Iri-Nat-Nwg-Edi?
F:Sounds OK to me.
Freddie
> Why don't you go whole hog and convoy
> Edi-Nth-Eng-Iri-Nat-Nwg-Edi?
This sounds like a plan to me. Surrounding countries with fleets in
these areas, please assist me in such a useless convoy. Let me pretend
I'm the Kingfish (former Louisiana governor Huey P. Long) and offer you a
bribe of all my goofy points for such a goofy move. (Actually, the
present governor, Edwin "Fast Eddie" Edwards, would probably make the
same offer).
McCrae
a edi - nth - eng - iri - nat - nrg - edi
A: 2 pts...
I: 1 pt for retreating out of Russia.
R: 3 pts for sheer singlemindedness... I wasn't too amused at first,
but as time goes on I find myself chuckling at your little
trip around Switzerland.
T: 1 pt... Yea, you finally got Edinburgh!
Italy - you seem to be getting rather large, so you might be a good ally.
(Proof: In regular games, large powers are generally BAD allies
for very small ones. Therefore... :) In any case, would you like
to help me achieve my 9-center victory? I only need to occupy 6
more centers. How about we start with Liverpool?
Sincerely,
McCrae, try this:
a edi-nth-eng-iri-nat-nwg-nth-eng-iri-nat-nwg-edi
Freddie - It's a deal! Meet you in Spain... We hold just lovely parties
on the merciless (former-)master-hunting dinghy Robertjack, I hope you
enjoy yourself...
Sincerely,
ack... i made a mistake. i just remembered that edi was more of an english
accomplishment than a turkish one. revised goofy points: a1 e2 r2 i1 t1.
I am doing my part in the edi - edi - edi convoy.
Sincerely,
PLEASE GIVE ME THE CONVOYS I NEED TO CIRCUMVENT THE BRITISH ISLES!!! ALL
GOOFY POINTS TO THOSE WHO HELP ME!!!!!!
McCrae
e3f2g2
ObsOrvOr
>PLEASE GIVE ME THE CONVOYS I NEED TO CIRCUMVENT THE BRITISH ISLES!!! ALL
>GOOFY POINTS TO THOSE WHO HELP ME!!!!!!
Hey! What about me for suggesting it?
I have just figured out how to defeat the Master:
-Movement orders for Fall of 1907. (goofy.025)
France: DRAW YES
Silly K-nnnn-ighit Evaluation...
Austria: Mmm, sorry, no entertainment value whatsoever. You simply *must*
drop dis obSESSion mit das Survival und fohcus ihr Attenzion an der
Shilliness!
France: Aha! I like it, but you'll NEVER drive me out of Burgundy, you
philthy Phrog!! I shall drink myself into OBLIVION.
Germany: Perfect! Only minimal goofiness, but putting boats in the water is
always a good idea.
Italy: Rumania?? Why do you persist in threatening a non-existent Austria?
Minimum score.
Russia: Doggedness suits you. But it bores me.
Turkey: Big points for accepting the ride to Edinburgh, losing some ground by
supporting yourself in an ungoofy move: tsk tsk! Now get a clue and accept
the hospitality of the Beatles!
--The Silly English K-nnnn-ighit!
:: Russia: 1 (you have almost conquered every province on the board)
He missed Liverpool -- how ever will he return to claim it now???
Hey! Just because the Turk logged on before I did doesn't mean he gets his
way! I thought lvp-iri-nat-nwg-nth-eng-bre made the most sense, with edi-lvp
as additional goofiness and still with the potential for a Turk Grand Tour
next turn.
Now that everyone has committed to edi-edi, I'll do that too (and expect the
lion's share of the goofiness since I have the lion's share of the units
involved!). But can we figure-eight Lvp next turn? I've gotta get that army
out of there before the Beeg Bad Dzhermans arrive!
--The Silly English K-nnnn-ighit!
I will still help you out with Lvp-Bre, England.
From Russia: not fair. Can't you wait until next year, when
the convoy can go via MAO?
> Broadcast message from France in goofy:
>
> >PLEASE GIVE ME THE CONVOYS I NEED TO CIRCUMVENT THE BRITISH ISLES!!! ALL
> >GOOFY POINTS TO THOSE WHO HELP ME!!!!!!
>
> Hey! What about me for suggesting it?
Well, yeah, if it goes through, I'll owe you a few as well.
McCrae
>I have just figured out how to defeat the Master:
>
>Movement orders for Fall of 1907. (goofy.025)
>France: DRAW YES
YES!!!! Alll gOGOfy PoitITNS TO FRANCE for this strokeofgeniuoooos!
Henahahaha we shall preveil heilheil HAILvictoryisours.
SET DRAW! SET DRAW! PLASTER UNDER THE RUTH-LESS MstEEER!
itmake so do , tu last tu be!!
Sincerely,
England:
In one message, you chastise me for concentrating upon survival. In
the next, you say that you should get the lion's share of goofy points
for the convoy of Edi - Edi, because you have the most units involved.
Do you see the contradiction?
I think I should get the most goofy points, because I'm the least
involved.:{) (vampire smiley)
Freddie
From Russia: in that case, I want all to points for not being
involved at all.
Russia, you're involved by not being there to do something else.
Italy abandoned! My plan has been a success! I knew I'd get
him on the ropes!
Freddie
Seems like this oppurtunity is worth looking into. Now, I'm
just a humble guy who's been watching this game for a while. It has
saddened my heart the nasty things the MajorDomo did to poor li'l
Freddie. As new ruler of Italy, I shall try to redress these wrongs.
Derffie
Ha ha! Very good, Freddie!
Hmm, things have changed during my vacation. First we loose Italy, then
get a new one at the price of loosing Austria, then get a new Austria at
the price of loosing France, and then loose Austria again but get a France
back. Sigh.
Anyway, we miss a player here. Austrian moves are in, but who knows
whether a new Austrian player would like them :-) I'll try to get in
contact with the missing player, but if one of you observers wants to
take over, feel free to do so. Note that the Austrian position is
highly interesting in terms of points!
Robert
I'mmmmmmmmmm back!
Freddie
The Nightmare continues, part XIII
I expect mucho points for my help in the EDI to EDI convoy. 8-} (I'm
wearing glasses now after my recent incident of biting the master instead
of a "sweet young thing").
Freddio
Vote YES to the anti-Master ticket. Just say "set draw". Freddie supports
the ballot and you don't want *him* to visit you in the middle of the
night, do you? 8-{
Freddmo
Arggggh! The master is using his heavy handed powers against me! After I
innocently do a "set draw", what is the next message I receive?
Master [email protected] assuming identity of Austria.
Password xxxxx; Address [email protected]
You will now not accept a DIAS draw.
Is this fair? Is this legit? I suggest that the next time the master
takes a vacation, instead of everyone abandoning thier positions, that
everyone does a "set draw". That will teach him!
Fredomo
> Is this fair? Is this legit?
It might not be fair or legit, but I think it's goofy ;-)
Robert
Well, after re-reading my own rules :-) I think that voting for a
draw is perfectly ok. I'm sorry about intervening. Note however that
if everybody votes YES on a draw (which will terminate the game), this
will *NOT* be a 7-way draw but a victory of the player with the most
accumulated points up to then! (Even though ending the game as a 7-way
draw would of course crown the goofiness of this game [cf. discussion
in r.g.d.]).
Vote, people! Vote early, vote often :-)
Robert
Of all the chutzpah! I just received this from the master...
Master [email protected] assuming identity of France.
Password ********; Address ************************
You will now not accept a DIAS draw.
Oops...old news I see.
> Broadcast message from France in goofy:
> Oops...old news I see.
But welcome confirmation that I am not the only one being picked upon
by our Master.
To all: Ask yourself, "do I have the guts to issue a 'set draw' or
am I just a craven, cowardly wimp who will let the Master trod all
over my civil rights?"
FreDomo
Well, what's taking so long for the moves to be processed? We have
already declared WAR on the Master, do we have to declare WAR on the EFF
Judge, too?
McCrae
(1) The game was delayed 'cause I SET WAIT to see if the Master would
object to what I've done.
(2) There is only one Freddie
(3) Goofy points - I don't care who gets 'em. I don't want a pickle.
I just want to ride on my motorcycle.
(4) I have no intention of using SET DRAW. I thought of the idea many
years ago (yeah, I know, I said nothing...)
(5) Vote early and often.
Derffie
Guess I was not the only SET WAITer
-D
Adjustments
Turkey: 0
England: 3
Germany: 2
Austria: 0
France: 1
Italy: 2
Russia: -3
Goofy votes:
A 1 E 1 F 1 G 1 I - R 1 T 2
I was impressed by the super-long convoy attempt. It would have
worked, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids, uh, English.
MajorDerffie
Date: Tue, 29 Mar 1994 09:42:49 -0500
From: Diplomacy Adjudicator
This Diplomacy Adjudicator sponsored by
the Electronic Frontier Foundation.
Any unmoderated games on this judge will be removed.
Adjustment orders for Winter of 1907. (goofy.026)
I: f tri
Trieste is not a home province for Italy.
Italy: 1 build pending.
1 error encountered.
Unless error-free orders are received by the deadline of
Fri Apr 1 20:00:00 EST you will be considered late.
You will be considered abandoned if nothing is received by
Sun Apr 3 09:00:00 EDT.
*sigh*
(Transylvania)
As the sun sets, everyone's favorite undead ArchDuke rises to
make his rounds. He receives his first report from his chief
underlying, MajorDerffie.
F: How goes the battle?
M: It goes well. Those knockout drops did the trick. We now control
all of greater Austria again.
F: Excellent! With control of two countries, we shall soon RULE THE
WORLD! (insane laughter)
M: But there was one slip up... it seems that we have lost control of
Austria.
F: What do you mean? It seems that the cities of Vienna, Budapest, and
Trieste are well under our control.
M: Well, yes, we control Austria, but we don't control the Austrian
forces.
F: Well, if we don't control the Austrian forces, who does?
M: Italy.
F: But we're Italy now!
M: I should be more specific. Some "FreddieDomo" is in command of the
Austrian fleets.
F: Sounds like it's time for a nocturnal visit...(insane laughter)
M: Sir, there's one more thing.
F: Yes?
M: The Russians are invading!
>
> It would have worked, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids, uh,
> English.
Now let's peel off their mask and see who they really are!
Goofy points for the Fall:
Austria: 0
England: 3
France: 2
Germany: 1
Italy: 1
Russia: 0
I appreciate the efforts of those who tried to convoy me around and
around and around the British Isles. I would have gone on longer, but
once you go past one line for orders for a single unit, the Judge gives
an error message *sigh*.
Anyway, 2 goofies to the French for their suggestion; 1 each to the
Germans and Italians for their help; and 3 to the English for their help,
but most importantly, for the bounce. I couldn't help but chuckle when I
saw the results.
The Turkish forces are now seasick and will hang around Scotland for a
while, as any more sea travel would cause us to barf up a lung.
McCrae
England, Germany, Italy, Turkey: 1 point each for participating in the
roundabout. Although I was expecting you at least to go the other
way, Turkey.
Russia: 1 point for the surprising change of direction.
Austria: 2 points. I liked your original move much better. These
points are for that one.
France: 3 points for the attempt to foil the master. Too bad it didn't
come through....
Turkey: 2 points for the beautiful convoy, as well as helping FreddieDomo
or whoever he is now into Con.
England: 2 points for giving me the experience of reading this line:
Turkey: Army Edinburgh -> North Sea -> English Channel -> Irish Sea -> North Atlantic Ocean -> Norwegian Sea -> North Sea -> English Channel -> Iris
h Sea -> North Atlantic Ocean -> Norwegian Sea -> North Sea -> English Channel -> Irish Sea -> North Atlantic Ocean -> Norwegian Sea -> Edinburgh. (
*bounce*)
Now, McCrae, how about supporting me into Liverpool? After all, I still
intend to rule the world!
Sincerely,
(3) Goofy points - I don't care who gets 'em. I don't want a pickle.
I just want to ride on my motorcycle.
And I don't want to die... I just wanna ride my motorcy
cle.
Sincerely,
^------> *OOF*
|^---->
||^-->|
|||->||
||| |||
||<-v||
|<---v|
<-----v
Wow. I'm dizzy. I guess I'll let ObsOrvOr go now. Here are my goofy
points:
E: 3, for foiling Turkey's evil plot to get me dizzy.
I: 2, for the void supports.
T: 2, for trying to "help" the Italians out of Rumania. I've always
wished you could do that.
Revresbo.
what a gOOfy turn! ! am qu!te !mpressed! and ! am alsO
extremely glad that ! dOn't have tO fOllOw the rules...
russ!a: ! d!dn't see much gOOf!ness !n yOur Orders, but !'ll g!ve yOu
One gOOfy pO!nt fOr be!ng unable tO add up tO seven.
austr!a: ! l!ked the way yOu wasted twO th!rds Of yOur un!ts On the
french army w!thOut even tell!ng h!m! 1 gp.
france: One pO!nt fOr nearly read!ng austr!a's m!nd, and anOther fOr
try!ng tO help england !nvade yOu, althOugh yOu knew he wasn't
cOm!ng...
germany: yOu get a pO!nt fOr part!c!pat!ng !n the cOnvOy !nstead Of
try!ng tO defend ruman!a.
!taly: 1 pO!nt fOr yOur attack On budapest, One pO!nt fOr yOur attack
On ven!ce, and the th!rd pO!nt !s fOr part!c!pat!ng !n the cOnvOy.
turkey: One pO!nt fOr try!ng tO help the fr!endless austr!an fleet
!ntO yOur hOme. tOO bad yOu screwed !t up. and twO pO!nts fOr gO!ng
arOund england tw!ce. (!f yOu cOuld have swung arOund a th!rd t!me, !
wOuld have g!ven yOu anOther pO!nt. after all, ! have pO!nts tO
spare!)
england: One pO!nt fOr each Of the fleets yOu used !n the cOnvOy, and
twO pO!nts fOr the bOunce heard rOund the wOrld, send!ng h!m all the
way back tO where he wanted tO be !n the f!rst place!
tOtals: a e f g ! r t
1 5 2 1 3 1 3
by the way, !f ! m!ssed anyth!ng !mpOrtant, let me knOw. !
st!ll have a few mOre pO!nts tO spare.
ObsOrvOr
Well, I guess I can't fault the ObsOrvOr for not being able to count,
since his GP don't have to add to be seven, but Mr. ObsOrvOr, I did make
it around England three times!
McCrae the Seasick
Wow, Man. My, um, Army in, uh, Burrgundy was, like, so dizzy it had to, like,
lie down for a little while. Wowww...
--The Silly English K-nnnn-ighit!
>> I was impressed by the super-long convoy attempt. It would have
>> worked, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids, uh, English.
What? It DID work! He wound up in Edinburgh, RIGHT? And *I* made sure! Not
only did I convoy him, but my bounce GUARANTEED he'd end up there!
> Now let's peel off their mask and see who they really are!
AHA! WRONG! I am NOT Emma Peel!
Just TRY it, you empty-headed animal!
--The Silly English K-nnnn-ighit! (the only MAN ever to satisfy Emma Peel, by
the way...)
Super job by Italy to both be in on the HyperConvoy AND manage two
simultaneous Alphonse-and-Gaston routines. But I will never grant you any
points for having lots to play with, Wop, even if you got them in classy
fashion...
"Austria" and France, I wanted to grant three each for the 'Open Marriage'
you used to barter countries. But you'll have to do with a minimum score, my
resources are limited.
Excellent work, Turk. Where do you go from here?
Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Germany
Russia, isn't that your mother calling those boats home?
--The Silly English K-nnnn-ighit!
> ! st!ll have a few mOre pO!nts tO spare.
Be quiet! Everyone knows you get more points if you STRIKE!
har har har har
TSESUC