The Diplomatic Pouch

Broadcasts for Fall of 1904 in goofy

Movement

Broadcast from Observer:

    tO make up fOr my tard!ness !n vOt!ng last seasOn, ! shall
    vOte early th!s t!me...
    
    germany:1gp fOr wa!v!ng yOur bu!ld last w!nter (thOugh ! wOuld have
    prefered tO see what yOu cOuld dO w!th a th!rd un!t...)
    russ!a: 2gp fOr wa!v!ng twO bu!lds and Order!ng the unnecessary cOnvOy
    Order !n aeg...
    france: 4gp! ! lOve hOw the war !n !ber!a !s shap!ng up! ! can't wa!t
    	tO f!nd Out whO w!ns! persOnally, !'m rOOt!ng fOr france, but
    ! am cOns!der!ng s!d!ng w!th france !nstead... and yOur cOnvOy
    Order frOm p!e was even mOre unnecessary than russ!a's, hence
    	the extra bOnus !n yOur scOre!
    
    					ObsOrvOr
    

Broadcast from England:

    Sorry, fellas, France has to take the Big Prize this turn. Truly goofy
    effort.
    
    Special Mention: Austria gets credit for continuing to try, in spite of
    Turkey's inability to goof in the 'proper' ways. Turkey gets a stray point
    for realizing the error of his way and giving up his attack on me. And Italy
    MIGHT score big in the Fall, as recompense for not scoring this turn, if his
    Spring moves have actually set up a wonderful goofy Fall.
    
    --The Silly English K-nnnn-ighit!
    

Broadcast from France:

    Here are the results of the French jury:
    Russia - 0 points.  Building the waives was just okay in your case,
    since you don't need the units. Still too aggressive.  Now, if you
    leave London and Munich in the fall you will score very big.
    
    Austria - 0 points.	 Not up to your usual standards.
    
    Germany - 1 point.	Now your waive was goofy.  +1/2 for Stp-Fin,
    -1/2 for Rum-Sev (but if you go to Arm you will score very big).
    
    England - 2 points.	 A nice random set of orders.
    
    Turkey - 2 points.	Panic!
    
    Italy - 2 points.  Supporting Tunis-Tyrrhenean made me laugh.
    

Broadcast from Turkey:

    > Broadcast message from England in goofy:
    
    > Turkey gets a stray point for realizing the error of his way and giving
    > up his attack on me.
    
    Hoo sez Aye hav givven uhp een mi deesayr 2 keel u?
    
    Slid Rulr
    
    

Broadcast from Turkey:

    Zee vots 4 zee spreeng:
    
    Awstreea: 1
    Eenglan: 1
    Frans: 2
    Juhrmani: 0
    Eetali: 3
    Ruhshuh: 0
    
    

Broadcast from Master:

    Your master's votes:
    
    Spring 1904
    
    GM: A0, E1, F1, G2, I2, R0, T1
    
    Austria:  Nice support for a absolutely impossible convoy. Otherwise
    not very goofy. Again, you would have gotten that infamous 8th point.
    England:  To bad your umpteen proxy orders weren't put to use, eh?
    	Nice random moves anyway! Your move set reminds me of an alpha
    	prototype of a Diplomacy playing program which is happy just to
    	produce legal orders, no matter how useless.
    France:	  I am as interested in the outcoming of your Iberian war as every-
    	body else should be. Will the Spa/Bre fraction succeed over the
    	Por/Gas fraction? It may all depend on whom Pie convoys to StP!
    Germany:  Big points for waiving that build! Your coastal round tour around
    	the Baltic Sea is also much to my liking.
    Italy:	  Yeah! Supporting an *army* into a body of water is really great!
    	Seems my posting to r.g.d. about what the judge allows wasn't that
    precise at all...
    Russia:   Well, waiving the builds was absolutely neccessary to not earn
    you negative points this season (some players indicated that you
    would have got them if possible). Nevertheless, I admire your
    steadfast march west disregarding everybody else. The convoy order
    for F Aeg also was mollifying (sp?).
    Turkey:   If nobody else is going to Syria, then at least you should,
    right?
    
    

Broadcast from Russia:

    Hi all, have been too busy to concentrate the last few days (so to speak)
       will get my votes off within a few hours.
    
       Small point, votes are not supposed to be based on retreats/disbands/
       builds/waives etc (gm note from weeks back) .... so ypu may as well
       hand out the negative points to Russia |||||||||||||||
    

Broadcast from Observer:

    Tee-hee!
                Freddie
    

Broadcast from alternate:

    BWah-Hah-hah-hahgg-hah!
    I have just tripled my size!!!!!!!
    !~!!@#@!$
    !!!!!!!!!
                    Freddie
    

Broadcast from alternate:

    gnitseT, 3,2,1...
    

Broadcast from Observer:

    Seriously, folks, there is a method to this madness.  For as
    the great Bones said, "Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor, not a Diplomat!"
    
    Strange events are afoot in the great nation of Austria.  The
    ArchDuke has instructed me to use this  medium of communication to ask
    his friends to be patient, to trust in his wisdom, and  to turn off
    your lights after you leave.
    If you think all of these broadcasts are annoying, just think
    - I'm receiving three copies of each!
    
    *INSANE LAUGHTER*
    
    
    

Broadcast from Observer:

           This Diplomacy Adjudicator sponsored by
             the Electronic Frontier Foundation.
    
         Any unmoderated games on this judge will be removed.
    
       someone@somewhere has resigned someone@somewhere
       as alternate in game goofy.
    
    A shot rang out in the Austrian capital of Casablanca this
    morning.  The esteemed leader of Austria, known  to his fans
    affectionately as "Freddie," was gunned down by the local German High
    Command Officer, Major Strasser.
    Yes, FREDDIE'S DEAD!        (A nightMair on ELM ST., part V?)
    Captain Renault immediately issued an order to "Round up the
    usual suspects."	   Viktor Lazlo, Rick Blaine, and Sam were all sent to
    jail, leaving the Cafe Americain under the unsteady hands of Hans the
    Old Guy.
    	Will Austria/Africa fall into Chaos?  Will this	 Aberration be
    tolerated by the world community?  OR will citizens of Youngstown,
    Ohio, rise in rebellion?  Will any of us ever feel Pure, ever again?
    If only Nicollo Machiavelli were here, all would be well.
    	World leaders are asked for their forbearance, until this
    situation can be resolved.
    					The Stranger
    

Anonymous Broadcast:

    >	Will Austria/Africa fall into Chaos?  Will this	 Aberration be
    > tolerated by the world community?	 OR will citizens of Youngstown,
    > Ohio, rise in rebellion?	Will any of us ever feel Pure, ever again?
    > If only Nicollo Machiavelli were here, all would be well.
    
    What we miss here is the fact that the streets were Crowded with people
    who suspected J.R. Loeb9 to be the assassin. This was a Chromatic experience
    for all Romans! An austrian Standard Gunboat is currently chasing suspects...
    

Broadcast from Russia:

    rusky votes...
       2 votes to each of the mini powers for holding on well with
       interesting moves.  1 for Austria for almost getting the convoy right|
       g2 i2 t2 a1
    

Anonymous Broadcast:

    What I want to know is why Freddie signed on as an observer/alternate
    when he could have just as easily done a 'broadcast grey'? Stupidity?
    Or is there a more sinister reason?
    
    Dino
    

Anonymous Broadcast:

    > What I want to know is why Freddie signed on as an observer/alternate
    > when he could have just as easily done a 'broadcast grey'? Stupidity?
    > Or is there a more sinister reason?
    
    Perhaps just goofiness?
    
    

Broadcast from Italy:

    My votes for S'04:
    
      A: 1   Mainly for the NAF support.
      E: 1   Interesting overall move.
      F: 2   The overall move was good
      G: 2   Not too goofy, but just the fact of having only units makes it
            hard to be goofy -- I should know!
      R: 0   Still can't see what you are up to and the current moves are land
    			grabs.
      T: 1	 Doing the ol' "move back home" goofiness, eh?
    
    MajorDomo
    
    BTW: I've decided that you need a lot-o-units too be goofy ... so adventuring
    	 I will go.
    
    

Broadcast from Observer:

       Date: Wed, 23 Feb 1994 08:26:09 -0500
       From: Diplomacy Adjudicator 
    
    		   This Diplomacy Adjudicator sponsored by
    			 the Electronic Frontier Foundation.
    
    		 Any unmoderated games on this judge will be removed.
    
       Broadcast message in goofy:
    
    
    
       > What I want to know is why Freddie signed on as an observer/alternate
       > when he could have just as easily done a 'broadcast grey'? Stupidity?
       > Or is there a more sinister reason?
    
       Perhaps just goofiness?
    
    
    Stupidity!	I declare war upon you, Dino!
    
    Oops, I forgot, I'm dead. Guess I'll have to make a trip to
    Transylvania to see my cousin Vlad.
    
    Trust in the spirit of Freddie.	 There is a reason, both goofy and
    sinister, why I do what I do.
    
    
    Let's just say I don't want to sign on as Austria right now - I have a
    litttle project in the works!
    
    *CACKLE*
    
    					Freddie's Ghost
    

Anonymous Broadcast:

    Freddie, please ally with me against France.
    

Anonymous Broadcast:

    Freddie, I understand France is trying to get you to ally with him.
    Please ally with me instead.
    
    France
    

Anonymous Broadcast:

    Freddie, please ally with me against Russia.
    

Anonymous Broadcast:

    Freddie, please ally with me against Italy.
    

Broadcast from Observer:

    Anybody figured out what I'm doing yet?
    					Freddie
    

Anonymous Broadcast:

    Trying to get your moves in?
    

Broadcast from Observer:

    BZZT.  Try again.  Look at the listing.	 My orders ARE IN. (well, sort
    of...)
    						Freddie
    

Broadcast from Germany:

    Ack.  d*nm.	 Missed the deadline for goofy votes, too...
    
    Orders are in now.	*SIGH*
    
    
    Sincerely,
    

Broadcast from Italy:

    >>>>  Diplomacy game goofy is waiting for Austria's orders.
    
    Oh Freddy! Where are you?
    
    
    MajorDomo
    
    

Broadcast from Observer:

    	I am in the middle of negotiations with our esteemed GM to
    advance the grace period to today.	If he is still on line, things
    should proceed apace.
    	Deliberately CD'ing might not be considered goofy, but I have
    more in mind.  I'll explain later.
    	To the observers:  please don't steal Austria when I CD.
    I'll submit orders within minutes of the CD.
    				Freddie
    

Broadcast from Master:

    Folks, this grace reduction is agreed upon by the Austrian player,
    as she wants to test something. She may pay a harsh penalty for doing
    so however.
    
    Robert
    
    

Adjustments

Broadcast from Master:

    Yo, it really worked. Congrat's, Freddie!
    
    

Anonymous Broadcast:

    It worked!
    *dance*
    Anybody figure out what I was doing yet?
    I'll 'xplain shortly, but I want to see if anyone can guess.
    Freddie
    p.s. Hmm...looks like there are Italians all over Austria.  Oh well,
    c'est la guerre.  I always preferred Africa, anyway.
    
    Freddie's ghost.
    

Broadcast from Master:

    GM's goofy votes for F 1904
    
    GM: A3, E0, F2, G1, I0, R0, T1
    
    Austria:  Great new way to have no orders processed. Definitely goofy!
    England:  Again your umpteen proxy orders weren't put to use, sob.
    Otherwise, not very inspiring.
    France:   Great show! Every unit helps the poor Austrian expedition army
    in NAf!
    Germany:  Coastal round tour around the Baltic Sea continues. Armenia also
    is a strange place for the only German army to be.
    Italy:    Nice preparation for max. goofiness next year. This time however:
    No points.
    Russia:   Go West! For continuing your path merciless without listening to
    any comments: 1 point.
    Turkey:   This time, you're the one who would get that 8th point if I had it.
    
    
    

Broadcast from Master:

    > GM's goofy votes for F 1904
    >
    > GM: A3, E0, F2, G1, I0, R0, T1
                          ^^^^^^
                          ||||||
    Well, this should read
                          R1, T0
    
    Sorry for the typo.
    
    Robert
    

Broadcast from Austria:

    Goofy votes:
    A - E 0 F 3 G 4 I 0 R 0 T 0
    
    A lot of bagels.  Mostly because I've seen goofier, and I wanted to
    give Germany a few bonus points for	 sticking to his plan to move to
    Syria.	France's orders struck me as quite humorous.  Esp. considering
    the broadcasts.   Russia's moves could earn a big bonus if I ever
    figure out what is going on.  Italy's present move was not goofy, but
    I can appreciate his need for more forces.  I wonder what the English
    proxies were?
                F.F.
    

Broadcast from Russia:

    rusky votes
    Austria +1 (for the move)
    Austria +1 (for the new idea)
    Austria +1 (for the f.....g complexity of arranging it)
    France  +1 (not really worth 1 BUT i owe you a few fractions)
    Germany +1 (for the position ... actually only about 0.75)
    Germany +1 (for persisting with only 2 units)
    Italy   +1 (for getting nowhere really)
    Turkey  +0 (for getting nowhere in a more normal manner)
    England +0 (for getting nowhere with more units)
    
    Totals: A3 G2 F1 I1 T0 E0
    

Anonymous Broadcast:

    >>>> Goofy votes:
    >>>> A - E 0 F 3 G 4 I 0 R 0 T 0
                   ^
                   Freddy, Freddy, Freddy. I fear your brains have
                   been addled. No more than 3 votes per power. Please
                   give one to me.
    

Broadcast from Italy:

    > Italy:    Nice preparation for max. goofiness next year. This time however:
    >   No points.
    
    Wah!
    
    > Russia:   Go West! ...
    
    I'm going East. Does that count?
    
    MajorDomo
    
    BTW: A: 1	 I'm still confused on what you did.
     E: 1    Yes?
     F: 1    Nice failed supports.
     G: 1    Going back to the Fatherland, eh?
     R: 1    Westward ho?
     T: 2    Fleets retreat! or is that fleets forward!
    

Broadcast from Turkey:

    > Broadcast message from [email protected] as Master in goofy:
    >
    >
    > > GM's goofy votes for F 1904
    > >
    > > GM: A3, E0, F2, G1, I0, R0, T1
    >							^^^^^^
    >							||||||
    > Well, this should read
    >							R1, T0
    
    Damn, damn, damn.
    
    

Broadcast from Turkey:

    Aye c een zee neer fewtuhr miselph een Lundun (wiz zee hehulp).
    
    Slid Rulr
    
    Awstreea: 2
    Eenglan: 1
    Frans: 3
    Eetali: 0
    Juhrmani: 0
    Ruhshuh: 0
    Uhbsuhrvuhr: 1
    
    

Broadcast from Turkey:

    > Message from [email protected] as Master to Turkey in goofy:
    > > Awstreea: 2
    > > Eenglan: 1
    > > Frans: 3
    > > Eetali: 0
    > > Juhrmani: 0
    > > Ruhshuh: 0
    > > Uhbsuhrvuhr: 1
    >
    > Damn, damn, damn.
    >
    > Would you mind assigning that seventh point to a player, please?
    >
    > Robert
    
    Ruhshuh: 1
    
    So solly.
    
    

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Last updated on Sun, Oct 12, 1997.