The Diplomatic Pouch

Broadcasts for Spring of 1902 in goofy

Movement

Anonymous Broadcast:

    I see my supremacy on the waves is being challenged.  War is
    hereby declared against Turkey, France, Germany, oh, and England and
    Russia while I'm at it. 
    	I bet this is the only time in the history of Diplomacy that
    Italy has  been the only power with only one fleet on the board at the
    beginning of 1902.
    
    				Freddie
    

Broadcast from Austria:

    OPERATION AFRICA HAS COMMENCED!
    The Austrian government makes the following requests:
    1) That no great power unlawfully seize any province currently under
    Austrian control.
    2) That no great power interfere with our convoys to the African
    continent.
    
    	In return, the Great Austrian Navy will be placed at the
    disposal of our friendly powers.
    					F.F.
    

Anonymous Broadcast:

    	  I forgot to declare war against Austria in my last message.  Sorry.
    Freddie, prepare!
    
    										   Freddie
    

Anonymous Broadcast:

       Broadcast message in goofy:
    
    	 I forgot to declare war against Austria in my last message.  Sorry.
       Freddie, prepare!
    
    						  Freddie
    
    You want a fight, Freddie?	You'll have it.  Me and Freddie will beat
    the $@%*!! out of you!
                    Freddie
    

Broadcast from England:

    The Goof Tactician: > [entire post deleted for space]
    I say, ditto. Excellent analysis.
    
    Austria: > Of course, you may end up bouncing England in the MAO.  
    Great idea! Italy--let's talk!
    
    Germany: > since there seems to be some concern about the annoyance
    		   (i.e. NON-GOOFYness) of unannounced proxies, I resolve
    		   never to indulGe in them aGain.
    Oh, now, don't do *that*. I found them goofy, I just think they would be more
    goofy if we knew we could had them to do goofy things with!
    
    Das Goofenmeister: [blather deleted]
    Sorry, fool, but there are limit to how goofy one can be in the early going.
    We must wait to see which regions of Goof are staked out by enemies and
    determine whether to take those by force or strike out in new Goof
    directions.
    
    Russia: > Since Eng made the only moves that seemed to totally reduce
          the chance of long term survival i gave him the 3 points.
    Aha! There is a genius mind present besides my own!
    
    Master: [sets game to nolist]
    What an unGoofy action! Minus points!
    
    Goofy Observer Guy: > And eternal shame on France for actually trying
                      to win this game.
    Here! Here! There! Ireland!
    
    MajorDumbo: > England. No builds for you either, but again accidental.
    Yeah, right! Like I couldn't guess that France would take London!
    
    --The Silly English K-nnnn-ighit!
    

Broadcast from England:

    Well, if there was any doubt previously is has been dispelled now: France
    believes himself to be in a perfectly straightforward, normal, nonGoofy game
    of Diplomacy.
    
    --The Silly English K-nnnn-ighit!
    

Broadcast from France:

     > Broadcast message from England in goofy:
     > 
     > Well, if there was any doubt previously is has been dispelled now: France
     > believes himself to be in a perfectly straightforward, normal, nonGoofy game
     > of Diplomacy.
     > 
     > --The Silly English K-nnnn-ighit!
    
    And isn't that the goofiest possible solution?
    
    But seriously, like I said -- I can be twice as goofy now.  How many of YOU 
    can convoy yourselves from Gascony to Marseilles? :)
    

Broadcast from Russia:

    Well France, u correctly extracted the meaning of my points                     
    awarded 2 u ==================: 0+1                                             
                                                                                
    Dont forget that although more units give u more chance 2 b goofy,              
    other players MAY choose 2 devalue your future awards by the size               
    of your relative advantage.  In a situation where 2 powers have                 
    15 units each and 4 powers have 1 unit each .... the 2 major powers             
    would have 2 put in at least 10 times as much goofiness to score even           
    1 goofy point if the minor powers have found anything goofy 2 do.               
                                                                                
    

Broadcast from Observer:

    Hah!  They fall like flies.  Soon, I, formerly known as Das Goofenmeister,
    but now, since it is a new year, am called simply Le Gouf, will rule
    the Observers.  It cannot be long hence before you are all obliged to
    give your goofiness points to ME! ME!
    
    As for you, o silly knigget, who has the brain of a duck you know,
    any fool can be goofy with lots of units.  It takes true talent to
    be goofy with a few or one, or even no units.  The Russian is right.
    
    Le Gouf
    

Broadcast from England:

    Interesting (and disappointing) feature of the judge. Truly goofy activity
    would have to involve illegal orders, such as this (bounced back from the
    Judge):
    
    >E: nwy-nwy
    >The army in Norway can't get to Norway.
    
    Okay, FINE! SEE if I care! Hmph!
     
     --The Silly English K-nnnn-ighit!
    

Broadcast from Master:

    A goofy comment for Super-Goof:
    
    Personally, I hold no grudge against coordinated goofiness. To me, goofy
    press is valuable, but goofy moves are really what gets me going. Therefore
    I like the idea of n-way bounces, long-distance circular convoys, etc.
    (which may be possible only with help of communication) a lot. Of course
    non-negotiated yet coordinated goofiness is even more goofy.
    
    
    Public announcement:
    
    The ugly ships that my enemy decided to build will be blown up by one
    of my special super-sonic anti-G bombs this spring (if I find that $#@$#
    remote control with the big red button again). 
    
    
    

Broadcast from Italy:

    > England writes:
    >
    > Interesting (and disappointing) feature of the judge. Truly goofy activity
    > would have to involve illegal orders, such as this (bounced back from the
    > Judge):
    > 
    > >E: nwy-nwy
    > >The army in Norway can't get to Norway.
    
    
    It took you this long to find out about this??? This is why I was so in
    love with my "missed convoy" move. The Judge protects us from dumb moves in
    so many ways -- it even flags bad convoys (but doesn't prevent them) with
    a warning message. IMHO, it one thing to do silly moves when there is no
    outward message warning about the silly move but it even goofier to do a 
    silly move when the Judge warns you that move won't succeed.
    
    
    MajorDomo
    
    BTW: In one of my other dippy games I just did a really goofy move. Wish
    I could tell you'all about it, but I suppose I'd be censored for 
    "cross-gaming". Sigh.
    
    

Broadcast from Austria:

    *yawn*
    Sorry, but I don't find Judge quirks to be that  goofy.  Guess I'm
    Judge-jaded from using it for years.  Sure I could have my fleet sit
    around and order convoys which are impossible, or order A Vie S Nwy -
    Bud, but what I'm looking for are goofy RESULTS, not goofy orders
    which will just be void.
    					F.F.
    

Broadcast from Observer:

    I regret, my friends, that I must resign, since the goofiness of your 
    messages is crashing my company's mail system.
    gOg
    

Broadcast from Master:

    Here are the goofy points from your friendly GM for fall 1901 along with
    some comments.
    
    A1, E0, F0, G3, I2, R1, T0
    
    Obviously taking 3 or 2 SC isn't very goofy (though it may turn out to be
    clever in the long run :-). Also, Russia's goofy move to Fin beats the
    English standard convoy to Norway (even though England would get my 8th
    point for not defending Lon if I had one). Germany's unasked for proxies
    hit me as being very goofy indeed. However I agree that the goofiness of
    such behaviour may wear out sometime, and, of course all of you
    can order moves for all units on the board, thus taking advantage to
    show your own goofiness (btw. one of you really did enter orders for
    several units not belonging to him/her. Unluckily s/he didn't enter
    orders for that unit that was actually proxied to him/her :-).
    I'm also entertained by the German press, thus 3 points all in all.
    Austria gets its point for the army in Greece; Italy two for its self-
    corrupted convoy (and of course its -proxied- participation in the "let's 
    meet in Tyrolia" event).
    
    
    And now, the goofy point totals in 1901:
    
    	   A	 E	   F	 G	   I	 R	   T
    ----------------------------------------------
      SC   6	 4.5   9	 6	   4.5	 6	   7.5
      GP  13	21	  12	26	  16	18	   6
    ----------------------------------------------
    1901  19	25.5  21	32	  20.5	24	  13.5
    
    
    Robert
    

Broadcast from Italy:

    Sigh. I see that the eastern powers (I,A,T) are once again getting the
    shaft; all of our goofy points are below normal. Will the West win goofy
    just as it wins so many other games?
    
    MajorDomo
    

Broadcast from Turkey:

    Tomorrow (Wednesday 26th January) is a public holiday in this part of
    the world.
    
    I will be off-line all day.  If I am slow responding to press, I apologise
    in advance.
    

Broadcast from France:

    My apologies...
      excuse 1) I tried to NMR intentionally, but forgot to look at the game flag
      excuse 2) Work has been really slow recently so I haven't been doing as much
            procrastinating
      excuse 3) the judge won't allow me to convoy my fleets like I want
    

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Last updated on Sun, Oct 12, 1997.