November 16, 2008

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287

Now, for the first time and forever, "20 Minutes into the Future"

Accessible through Internet at burgess of (all E-Mail addresses are reported in this format, replace the " of " with "@"; if you bounce try sending to me from another account. Some of you have been getting bounced messages from my ISP's spam protection, if that happens to you, USE my backup E-Mail at jfburgess of!!! Don't complain that my E-Mail keeps bouncing without forwarding the bounced message to that address. Then I can forward it to the ISP help to get it dealt with.
Web Page Address:

OK - READ THIS - The "first" #316 last time was a fake, I just don't know HOW that got in there..... no, that's not quite right, I do know, but I'm not going to tell you. But ***I*** didn't do it, and since I've been using THIS typeface forever, and the fake did not use it, I figured you would all figure out it was a fake. Especially after I did have a "regular" #316 that followed it. Anyway, I thought it was at least reasonably amusing. As a result, I had to delay some results to my next December 6 deadline, see below for specifics on your game. If you cannot continue, please let me know, so I can replace you.
Think about coming here to Providence and visiting me for TempleCon, February 6-8. Some travelers are starting to make plans now, why not you???
Thanks, for the second straight cover from Doug Kent. I really appreciate his efforts to assist, especially since there is so much Eternal Sunshine inside. Enjoy!!
I expect ALL players to be signed up on the E-Mail notification list for the szine, see below. Some of you have been complaining about this, but it is up to you to get on this list, it's easy, come ask me if you have trouble. THIS IS A PROBLEM, sign up now if you're playing!!!
I would if I were you.

The postal sub price is still $1.50 per issue in the US and Canada, with double that for other foreign subbers(or $3.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and future game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $20.00 ($15.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance. Anyone may play in subszines for free and just jack up the issue page count. Since I have to get caught up this issue with all sorts of subszines, I'm going to be fairly limited with other items this issue. See the revised game start announcements below!
Check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch with all of the information you need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at: and current and past issues of TAP on the web is there at:
where the szine resides in html format. Presently, issues from #190 to the current issue are there, and I will be updating the back issues gradually someday.
Peter Sullivan's subszine is back in stasis, but all the back issues can be accessed via :
Peter is now back at least sometimes he is producing this new fannish thing called Virtual Tucker Hotel that you can find at Rip Gooch is probably permanently missing as a subszine, but he has a cool facebook page and you can keep track of him there. Dave Partridge had been picking up the choo-choo game slack. Contact Dave at rebhuhn of for more info on getting into choo-choo games and other sorts of different games. And Andy York and Doug Kent have been my most frequent subszine guests lately!!! Andy has been in every issue, thanks, Andy!!! And Doug Kent has been coming out faster than TAP lately, so many issues have been having multiple Eternal Sunshine's. I haven't heard from Michael Lowrey lately but he gets his in every few issues too! So, we have a full set of subszines at the moment.
The TAP mailing list has moved! It now is even BETTER protected than it was. I even have a bit of trouble posting to it. To post to this list, send your email to: tap of But this is completely moderated, it won't go out to the list unless I approve it. In general, I intend to keep traffic down to just the szine, as we've been doing and I'll put your LOCs in here. I EXPECT all players to be on this list, especially those of you who are from foreign countries!!! You need this to find out when the szine is up on the web to check in on results.
General information about the mailing list is at:
You can sign up from there, or send E-Mails to: Tap-request of; with the word `help' in the subject or body (don't include the quotes), and you will get back a message with instructions. You must know your password to change your options (including changing the password, itself) or to unsubscribe. Normally, Mailman will remind you of your mailing list passwords once every month, although you can disable this if you prefer. This reminder will also include instructions on how to unsubscribe or change your account options. There is also a button on your options page that will email your current password to you. A big, big thank you for Millis Miller for setting this all up!!

Jerry Jones gets added to the list of failures, next up the former editor of Moeshoeshoe, along with Michel Liesnard one of the founders of the Belgian Diplomacy hobby. If you read Diplomacy World #101 you will quickly figure out why I chose Michel Feron to search for next. There are a host of clues on the Internet that I found, so he could be very easy to find. Go for it, you have until Issue #320.
I am running out of people on MY list of who to search for, so I am looking for ideas, who would you like to find? Send me some names. I will likely go into all these szines that Doug Kent is posting and find some more szine editors to search for, that's what I usually do, but I'd like to find people that some of you will search for or want to find!!! This actually is giving me a HUGE number of possible ideas for people to search for, but I can be focused or induced. Come on, help me out.

Feel free to spend the time looking for some of the backlog. Let's get Jerry, Margaret, Derek, Sylvain, Steve, Ed, Tom, Gregory, and ESPECIALLY Kevin found too!!! This is a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new "search for" every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Jerry Jones or Margaret Gemignani or Steve Heinowski or Ed Henry or Tom Hurst or Gregory Stewart or Derek Nelson or Sylvain LaRose or John Smythe is "found" from now on it is worth $25.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, finance a web page, GO TO A DIPLOMACY CONVENTION or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for.
This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who "found" him.

John Harrington and I have agreed to close the ISE. In this age of PayPal, the traffic on the ISE had fallen almost to zero, and what was left almost entirely was me facilitating orders of Breaking Away and John's other Fiendish Games. So, I'm still going to help John out with that, but there will be no ISE. If anyone still needs assistance with this, though, since I'm helping John out, like if you're in a foreign country and need to send dollars for dipping things to someone in the US, I may be able to help you out.

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)
Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.
The game Diplomacy is a copyrighted product owned by Hasbro and all reproductions or other use of that material in this szine is intended to be personal use and not infringe on those rights in any way. All reproductions are done at a heavy financial loss to the editor and thus are without the remotest possibility of commercial intent, except to promote THE game, the Game of Diplomacy, which you all should purchase from Hasbro or other duly licensed distributors.
Stephen Agar has matched the Hasbro rule lists and more with some of the even older rulebooks. Check these out if you like:
Nice of them to make BOTH of these available. And all seven different US rulebooks for Diplomacy can now be found here courtesy of Stephen Agar (relatively new address for this):

Check out current and back issues of Diplomacy World - Yahoogroup diplomacyworld
and at Doug Kent's new Diplomacy World web site at:

Also, I need any Hobby Award Nominations NOW (!!!) for the :
The 2005 and 2006 and 2007 Don Miller Award for Meritorious Service;
The 2005 and 2006 and 2007 Rod Walker Award for Literature;
The 2005 and 2006 and 2007 John Koning Award for Player Performance;
The 2005 and 2006 and 2007 Fred Hyatt Award for GM Performance;
A 2005 and 2006 and 2007 Kathy Byrne Caruso Award for Lifetime Achievement (if warranted).
The NEW Hobby Awards Committee is Jim Burgess (Chair and Treasurer), Fred Davis, Jr., Melinda Holley, Andy York, Jack McHugh Paul Kenny, Mark Stretch, and Robert Lesco. I was going to publish the award ballot for this year in this issue, but I realized that I really just had to get this out first and then do that.... and then, well, REAL SOON NOW!!! And when I do, I'm going to give out three sets of awards and get caught up for the missed years, that seems to make the most sense. Committee.... you will be hearing more from me soon! This also fell apart with my move, but I think I can get it together for next issue when all the games are in Winter.

Diplomacy World Issue Deadlines are now:
Deadline Winter 2009, Issue #104: beginning of January; theme is Worldwide Variants, we will have articles on Colonia VIIb, Known World 901, and many more. A new DW Demo Game in Known World 901 will also start, this variant is one of those David Cohen designed variants and it already has been pretty extensively playtested. If any of you are interested in playing, let me know.
Deadline Spring 2009, Issue #105: beginning of April; theme is "The Endgame", what have you always wanted to know or read about about end game strategy, we'll feature it here.
Deadline Summer 2009, Issue #106: beginning of July; theme is "Historical Variants" from pre-1900.
Deadline Fall 2009, Issue #107: beginning of October; theme is "Balance of Power", arguably the key concept in all of Diplomacy, Eric Hunter, Doug and I just realized that there are NO good articles around that actually describe it. The founder of the feast, Mr. Calhamer, of course has written on it a couple of times, but he has, well, a singular view. I hope we get a lot of excellent articles on this topic, I'm writing one.
These last few issues have been really tremendous, if you've not looked at them yet, go look! And for any issue, we're taking articles on ANY subject, let us know!!!
See for some exciting back issue material being posted as well as the new Issues, including the monstrous Issue #100. Highlights of #100 include Walt Buchanan's ex-wife Carol showing us who REALLY was in charge of the hobby back in the Hoosier Archives days, Eric Ozog augmenting the oft-heard, but never get enough of, love story between Eric and Cathy, and the start of the new Diplomacy World Demo Game. We also now have every issue back to the very beginning posted!
Editorial Board for Diplomacy World:
Doug Kent, Lead Executive Editor!, 11111 Woodmeadow Pkwy #2327, Dallas, TX 75228, dougray30 of
Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, USA; burgess of - Co-Editor and Interview Editor
Rick Desper, 5440 Marinelli Road, #204, Rockville, MD 20852, USA; rick_desper of - Demo Games Editor
Mark Zoffel; zoffel of - Strategy and Tactics Editor
Jim O'Kelley, 4224 N. Hamlin Avenue, Chicago, IL 60618, jimthegrey1013 of - Club and Tournament Editor
Jack McHugh, 810 School Lane, Folcroft, PA 19032, jwmchughjr of - Variant Editor

OK, and then we have FTF tournaments. See the Pouch FTF tournament page at:
I'm organizing a tournament at TempleCon here in Providence, February 6-8, 2009, please y'all come!!! More details are at and the hotel block is now open.

We were running a "23 tunes" contest here (stolen blatantly from Mark Wightman and the late lamented The Sprouts of Wrath. If anyone would like to send me a tape or CD of their 23 (which was the original point) that would be great, but I don't intend to require that. I will be playing in the sense that I'll be putting 23 tunes in, and you have to guess me, but I obviously won't score points. Send commentary with your choices, and we'll see if people can guess who you are!!! And already there is a LOT of diversity in defining tunes and styles, so BE CREATIVE!!! This kind of died, mostly because of me. I don't want to take this last issue getting it back together, but see the new rules below, we're going to start over. Feel free to send along general music comments any time. See Mike Barno's comments below.

23 Tunes Game
Here are the rules for 23 TUNES. You send me ONE tune each issue, or a whole list, but I reveal them one tune at a time over the next 23 issues. If you missed earlier turns, you can still catch up by sending enough tunes to catch up in subsequent issues, and guess on submitters each issue. When you are CORRECT and guess someone correctly, I will tell you, but you can only guess one person for each list each turn. I am also submitting my tunes. I will tell people each issue how many people have guessed them correctly, so you can tell that you're being predictable and try to take your list in another direction. After we're done, I'd like to exchange CD's/Tapes for as many of the tunes players as possible, but this is not required. I'll be sending the winner both my LAST 23 tune list and my NEW 23 tune list. The winner is determined by having you guess each issue who submitted what list (I am now NOT telling you who the submitters are). For each list you get right, you get a point, you also can win bonus points from me for really cool tune selections or daring explanations (to encourage you to write things about the songs). You lose a point for each person who gets your list right.
WHAT I NEED: At least one tune and an explanation or comment. I'll add one tune to each list each issue. You will always be able to catch up by giving me enough tunes to catch up.

Mike Barno (Thu, 4 Sep 2008 12:11:52 -0500)
One fine thing about the digital age is that it's enabled musicians to record, produce, and distribute their own music without selling their souls to the record companies. An enjoyable example is the album The Badweather Blues Band, the first CD from the band of the same name. They're a six-piece outfit from the Binghamton, NY area, who play blues flavored with funk, rock, and jazz. ((And they make really cool road music to hum along with!))
It always makes me happy to hear old favorite songs that I could sing in my sleep, and Badweather Blues has plenty of those to get people moving at their live shows; but I really respect people who write their own music and develop it until it's good enough to stand up to the classics. These folks have accomplished that. I mentioned them a couple of years ago in The Abyssinian Prince issue 300, in my "best music of 2005" article, and cited "When You're Sober" as an original that deserved wider attention. Since then, the band's own songs have become a bigger part of their repertoire, and I'm proud of them for making this debut CD 100% originals.
These six people have been playing together for a long time, and it shows. The performances are tight, no matter how much tougher it must be to keep six people coordinated on rich arrangements than three or four players. ((Or keep six people in a band when it's easier to split club money fewer ways.)) They obviously love each other like family, mess around with each other on stage, and communicate with a glance and a smile.
So who are they and what do they do to create this music and fun? Brian Golden plays electric guitar including some absolutely searing solos. If this album has a weakness, it's that Brian's best bits should be stronger in the mix. He also wrote five of the songs on this CD. "So Long, So Far" and "Surrender (Far Too Long)" are hot hot songs to which I'll probably listen decades from now. Brian also does the lead vocals on a couple of his songs. The other guitarist is Bob Jenson, who's credited as "rhythm guitar" but plays some darn tasty leads on occasion. Bob also sings really ripping vocals on "Surrender" and (not on the disc) Tommy Castro's "Nasty Habits". Tom Westcott does a solid job on electric bass, backing vocals including doo-wop, and tomfoolery. Steve Simmons plays a midsized drum kit and I don't think I've ever heard him make a mistake. Other than real piano on jump blues, I don't like much keyboard in my blues (nor in the rock, bluegrass, reggae, zydeco, or psychedelia that I listen to), but Mike Melnyk's contributions on organ work well in these arrangements. ((I ***DO*** like keyboards a lot, and that is a strength here. It is true that keyboards can make the beat less the message, not be percussive enough, but that is not a problem here.)) Not just harmonies, fills, and fillets, but some good lead lines too. Mike also did a good job laying out the CD's cover and liner notes.
People might argue whether five white guys can perform real blues. You'll have no doubt after you hear their sixth, Debbie Hospie, a black woman whose spirit has some Bessie Smith and Koko Taylor and Aretha Franklin inside. She sings tender, moving balladry and balls-out fullthroatedness, sometimes within the same song, with fine vocal skills and great stage presence. Debbie also wrote four of the tunes on this recording, music rich and dynamic enough to show true songcraft.
I give this album my strongest recommendation, although I think the live shows are still better than hearing the disc. You can get it from CDbaby or iTunes, and their own website is at www (dot) badweatherblues (dot) net. They're one of my favorite bands, and I hope they get a chance to go big-time professional. If not, at least we can enjoy this excellent homebrew CD.
((Mike's E-Mail currently is not working, I believe, so I'm not going to note it here. The Bad Weather Blues stand up to any funky blues band I can think of, real toe-tappin' stuff. Their website is at:
I especially liked the red hot songs, like "Surrender".))

Eric Ozog (Sat, Nov 15, 2008 at 10:05 PM)
Cathy and I were thrilled that Obama won in a landslide; it was quite moving seeing the President-elect and his family take the stage in Grant Park, with an acceptance speech of hope, and the Chicago skyline as a backdrop. It doesn't get better than that! Obama is actually the same age as Cathy and I; so it's great to see someone of our generation, and a progressive thinker such as himself, be elected.
After nearly 8 years of neoconservatives, credit card republicans, and deregulators screwing everything up, Obama is a breath of fresh air. Hopefully working people will get some trickle-up economics for a change. Expectations are high, and Obama and his administration have a very deep hole to dig out of.
Eric, elferic of
((Yes, Eric, thanks for setting me up for the little editorial that I wanted to write. I think there are three really important possible changes we can have in the future, that the Obama election may signal. And then I'm going to finish up with a couple of technical points and wild assed future predictions. Only one of these important changes is related in any real way to "Republican" versus "Democrat" debates.))
((The first change is that we need to start valuing what government decisions do for people rather than just valuing the cost to the taxpayers. Since we don't do this well, we don't spend enough money on what really helps people, we do too much that really hurts them, and we get stuck on valuable changes that help a lot of diffuse people who don't have good lobbyists writing legislation for them. Yes, people do spend their own money on things for themselves better than government can do in buying things for them, one of the arguments against taxes. But it isn't just about cost to the taxpayers, that just perpetuates the inequities in what government does (or does not do) for us that already exist.))
((The second change is in actually valuing what government itself can do. Let me be clear, I am not Pollyannish, clearly many governmental employees and functions are not operating for the best interest of the country, but many are. And those people are incredibly demoralized by the huge layers of useless bureaucracy that the Bush administration layered on them (those are almost sure to go and will save some significant money) and the blinders and opaque structure that was placed over that. Transparency is surely overused as a word, but we have to have better transparency. Both of these first two factors will affect the "consultant and contracting deluge" that the Bush administration brought to Washington. Why we think that the shirking and moral hazard in contract employees problem is somehow lesser or easier to handle than with Civil Service government employees has never been explained to me in any coherent way. And the flashlight needs to be shined on all of this. If we really did, week by week, have contracts be competed out so that bad contractors could just be dropped, that might (I would emphasize the might) work, but most government contracts are no bid or restricted bid contracts that point work toward particular government contracts.))
((Third, and I this is the one I am most sure of, the new administration will do what government must do, view downturns, bad situations, and pain and hurt as bad things to be sure. But more importantly, they are an opportunity to tear down what is badly decayed and rebuild, re-energize, and innovate, what we Americans still do better than most other countries, especially the Chinese. We need government stimulus that transforms, builds, invests, and touches every community in the country, not just those where auto plants happen to be (last I heard bankruptcy protection is supposed to precisely be the government structure designed to help a company retrench and rebuild, by offering it protection from creditors - the silliest explanation I've heard about why the auto companies need a bailout is that "if we're in bankruptcy, all our effort will be focused on dealing with the bankruptcy and no one will be able to work on innovating for the next generation of cars". Well, duh, so if your management is THAT moribund, that you can't take one group and send it that way to deal with the bankruptcy, while protecting another group to innovate for the future, well then, I'm sorry, you deserve to go under.))
((I have three things also that I think specifically ARE the ways to bail out the country and rebuild it for the future. First, and most importantly, we need to boost payments and subsidies to day care and pre-schooling in this country, for everyone, not just poor people. Public schooling was once unthinkable, and then it wasn't. We are the worst western country about supporting our young kids, that must change. Second, we must provide all kids with health care, preventative care, money for vaccinations and well child visits, ALL kids, now. Stop messing around with expansions of the SCHIP program and just take it all out of the insurance market. Then the insurance market might actually be able to work better. Third, we must build the infrastructure of our highways, bridges, and urban transportation systems. Otherwise, we're going to have more deterioration and mini-disasters.))
((Finally, what I find most ironic about the financial collapse is that in large part the severity of the problems with the credit default swaps and other complex instruments is that Bayesian statistical whiz kids mostly were putting these things together over the last decade, the latest Wall Street innovation. And when the bankers and financiers at the top said things like "I don't understand these things" they really meant it. It was the first step of possible "computers run amuck" that we are moving into. "Tipping Point" author Malcolm Gladwell's new book is entitled "Outliers" and is about how strange outlying events can be "good outcomes", well, not having read the book ;-) "outliers" can be bad outcomes too. In fact, roll the dice enough times and snake eyes are sure to come up some time. What has just been happening has been like that. Yes, 20 minutes into the future looks closer and closer all the time. And when we get there, we won't be voting by physical community blocks, but the Diplomacy community will have our own representative in Congress and we'll do all the campaigning and voting on the Internet....))
"So I called up George and he called up Jim, I said let's make a deal.
He said he'd talk to him. Gonna start a church where you can save yourself,
You can make some noise, When you've got no choice...
You told me useful things, what people think of me, I guess I should thank you.
It's true, then I agree... I'm all alone, I've got no choice,
I'm all alone, I've got no choice."
From "Got No Choice" by the incomparable Mark Cutler, from the CD Mark Cutler and Useful Things.
If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at "burgess of". If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know.
I am continuing to note cut or failed support orders with a small "s" instead of a capital "S". This will make it easier on the E-Mailed version of the szine to see what happened, since the italics don't show there. The italics DO show on the web page just fine.
Standby lists:
Mike Barno, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Paul Rauterberg, Bob Osuch, Doug Kent, Sean O'Donnell, Vern Parker, Heath Gardner, Paul Kenny, and Jeff O'Donnell stand by for regular Diplomacy.
Let me know if you want on or off these lists, especially OFF. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks.

Can we get back to these game openings below? We just need a few more people for a couple of these.
I am willing to open another new game of REGULAR Diplomacy if there is enough interest!!! Doug Kent, Fred Wiedemeyer, Brad Wilson, and Shaun Thompson start the list, who would like to join them???
I also am starting a game of the variant I designed, Spy Diplomacy. Signups for that are now open. Bruce Edwards and Eric Ozog are signed up. I published the rules again last issue!
And since Colonia is over, Harold Reynolds is looking to start something else. Harold has been updating the Diplomacy A to Z, go check it out at:
Also, I am going to design some postal rules for Devil Take the Hindmost, and we have an opening here: Bruce Edwards, Mike Barno, and Eoghan Barry are signed up. Postal rules from me will be forthcoming shortly, on my never ending to-do list. I will get them in SOON! I'm more likely to get these things started if I see some interest..... I've GOT to do this now, Eoghan is getting tired of waiting....
Right now, the other thing going is the Modern Diplomacy game with Wings. Sean O'Donnell, Jeff O'Donnell, Steve Koehler, Art Schleinkofer, Bob Holt, Rick Desper, Alexander Woo, and Dave Partridge are signed up for that. I will start it when I get a full complement of players, we only need TWO more! Only two, just TWO more...... come on.

THE PHIL REYNOLDS MEMORIAL: 2006B, Regular Diplomacy
Pre-Fall 1903

Addresses of the Participants
AUSTRIA: David Burgess, 101 Laurel Lane, Queensbury, NY 12804
(518) 761-6687, burgesscd of or dburgess of
ENGLAND: Drew James, 3644 Whispering Woods Terrace, Baldwinsville, NY 13027
(315) 652-1956, kjames01 of
FRANCE: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (661) 297-3947,
wllmsfmly of or dwilliams of ($5)
GERMANY: Marc Ellinger, 751 Turnberry Drive, Jefferson City, MO 65109
mellinger of or ellingermc of
ITALY: John Crow, 946 S. Medalist Circle Plano, TX 75023-2851,
(214) 532-1418, johnny.crow of
RUSSIA: Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883, (607) 589-4906
mpbarno of ((BUT NOTE currently not able to access this))
TURKEY: Fred Wiedemeyer, Box 92010-Meadowbrook RPO, Edmonton, ALBERTA
CANADA T6T 1N1, (780) 465-6432, wiedem of or wiedem of

Game Notes:
1) At least one player here actually believed the FAKE TAP #316 and thought the game had folded. It has not. Get your orders in by December 6 or I will have to replace you. If you had your orders in, you may change them. I'm printing the press anyway.
2) Note Marc Ellinger's new preferred E-Mail address and John Crow's new postal address.

(NEW RUSSIA to GREAT POWERS): I haven't had access to the listed e-mail account for months, so I apologize to anyone whose messages I didn't answer. For now please use postal or telephone contact. I wrote to several embassies but rather late, and rather desperately when it appeared I was facing a five-on-one conflict.
Number 8... wid a bullet
"Where are they?"
"Cheez Boss, I hate ta say... we dunno." He hunched his shoulders and flagged his hands sideways at the same time, the wide brim fedora in the right hand flopped a little with the gesture. He was slight and solidly built, but tall; even so he had to look up at a sharp angle to look into the eyes of his questioner. His compatriot was a heavy and oily looking figure in a pin-stripe suit with wide lapels and blood splatters, he shrugged also, but didn't contribute to the conversation.
"You had them both. You’ve been tracking them for four issues," the voice was deep, ominous, "You've been paying more attention to this game than the players have! How can you not know where they are? Woooooooh..." The speaker drew heavily on his pipe, the heavy intake of breath seemed to move the air in the room, almost as if the walls of the darkened room bowed inward.
"Wells, we was right on 'em, Boss. Followed 'em back from da Copa. Had 'em in da walk up at da Abyssinian, dead ta rights... den dey's split."
"They... split," said the Boss distastefully, irritated he picked up a photograph off the table. "Three of you, against a buffoon and a blonde. Where is Dewey anyway?" asked the Boss, noticing the absence of the third gunsel.
"He sorta got perforated..." said the thin gunmen. He squinted in an embarrassed manner. The heavy set hoodlum nodded in embarrassed agreement, flicking at a blood stain on his pin-stripe.
"Woooooooh," the Boss drew heavily on the pipe again, candles flickered, "perforated... so where is he?"
"He sorta demised, as it were," answered the thin gunsel. The heavy set one swept his pork pie hat off his head in a show of respect to the departed.
You could see the fingers tighten on the pipe, the knuckles whiten in irritation. The other hand tossed the photograph back on the sidestand. He reached into his vest and plucked out an item; with his other hand he pulled a pen from his pocket. Picking up a tablet he scribbled onto the notepad... "hire gunsel."
"So," intoned the heavy voice, "we are no closer to knowing where the item is. Wooooooh," he pulled on the pipe. He reached out with his other hand and picked up his steaming cup of coffee. With his other hand he flicked an errant ember from his pipe off the upholstery covering the stool.
"Negatory, Boss," said the thin gangster looking up into his eyes, it made his neck hurt. "We gotta be closer. We knows da flatfoot is onto sumpin'. He’s hooked up wit da dame, which we was watchin' and now dey's headed somewhere togedda'." The heavy-set companion nodded in agreement.
The Boss tilted his head sideways and looked down at the gunman, scratched his chin, "Tagedda?"
"The twos of 'em, wit each otter," explained the thin gangster. He moved his hands together and then hopped them sideways to illustrate his point.
“Woooooooh,” the Boss pulled on his pipe in irritation. “Luis, one day you will learn the Queen’s English.” He waved a hand in front of his face and pinched his nose, it was a habit of his to reduce stress. Hot, he took his other hand, picked up a paper fan and fanned himself.
He toyed with the item he was holding in his fingers, the item he had taken from his vest pocket. Almost as if it was a nervous habit.
"Wooooooh," he pulled on the pipe and spoke in his deep voice, "Luis, there are only two things I want you to focus on. There are many parties involved in this, seven of them appear to be ahead of us. The detective is the key to our getting ahead of them." He held up the item in his hand, the one he had taken from his vest pocket - a very heavy .45 caliber slug, "I want you to find out what he knows and then take this bullet and... I'll put it into terms you can understand, `punctuate' him. You got that! Can you hold onto those two simple thoughts?"
"Yep... number eight wid a bullet."
"Wooooooh," puffed the Boss, shaking his head in frustration, "so what do you propose we do now. We have no idea where he is headed."
"Simplistic itself Boss," said the thin gunsel, "we jus' gotta tink like he tinks."
"Woooooh, I’m not sure I'm that stupid," said the Boss. He used one hand to scratch his nose. With his other hand he smoothed out the fabric of his vest.
"Den, allows me to intertrude, as it were," continued the thin gunman without pause, or thought on the comment, "dis guy knows he’s onto sumpin' big."
The Boss nodded his massive head, egging the gunman on with his reasoning. The gunman warmed to his subject.
"He goes to see da' Evil guy hisself, right?, and he finds out sumpin' because den he meets up wit da dame we been following for four issues, y'see."
"Wooooooh," the Boss pulled on his pipe. He took a free hand and wiped his forehead. With his other hand he picked up his coffee and took a sip, "Do go on."
"She's gotta let on it's big... right," the thin gunman waited for a response. The heavy-set gunman raised his eyebrows encouragingly. Reluctantly the Boss nodded his massive head, he wriggled a little to reposition his body more comfortably on his stool, and looked back down at the gunsel.
"Yeah, so den' we shows up to put the kibosh on 'em. Throw a little lead, y'know, to convince 'em to cooperate. Get 'em to come along all nice."
"Woooooh," puffed the Boss, "seemed to work so well." He stirred more sugar into his coffee with one hand, as he twirled a finger on his other hand to encourage the gangster to continue.
"Exactemento! That’s what I said to dear departed Dewey," nodded the gangster, pointing with his fedora to emphasize the point, "so now dis flatfoot knows its even bigger than he thought. Big AND important-like. And dey's go on da lam out da window."
"Woooooh," puffed the Boss, "an able summary, but where does it bring us?" He brushed a fly away with one hand. With his other hand he loosened his necktie. He twiddled the bullet between his fingers in irritation.
"We's talkin' big, Boss," the thin gangster put his hands together in summation, "it's gotta be an oliphant." The heavy set gunman spread his hands apart palm up in silent agreement.
"Woooooh," puffed the Boss. "I’m speechless. Amazed at your superb reasoning. Practically Occam's razor."
"Dat's what I'm talkin' about. Neat as a shave, like youse said. So's now we's jus gotta ask ourselves just one question..."
He couldn't help himself, the Boss leaned forward in anticipation. The heavy set gunman followed suit. "What, pray tell, would that be?"
"Does da Hobby have a m/'enage a twa'?"
The caterpillar almost fell off his mushroom.

SPIRALS OF PARANOIA: 2005A, Regular Diplomacy
Pre-Fall 1907

Addresses of the Participants
AUSTRIA: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221,
(414) 281-2339 (E-Mail) trauterberg of
ENGLAND: Fred Wiedemeyer, Box 92010-Meadowbrook RPO, Edmonton, ALBERTA CANADA T6T 1N1,
(780) 465-6432, wiedem of or wiedem of
FRANCE: Buddy Tretick, 5023 Sewell's Pointe Way, Fredericksburg, VA 22407, (540) 898-3386
cell (540) 226-5571 (E-Mail) berniebuddy33 of
GERMANY: Terry Tallman, PO Box 782, Clinton, WA 98236, (360) 331-5698 ($2)
terryt of
GERMANY: Temporary Standby is Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138,
(360) 691-4264, ElfEric of
ITALY: Doug Kent, 11111 Woodmeadow Pkwy #2327, Dallas, TX 75228
dougray30 of
RUSSIA: Matt Sundstrom, 1760 Robincrest Lane South, Glenview, IL 60025, (847) 729-1882,
Matt.Sundstrom of or mattandzoe of
TURKEY: John Biehl, #8 - 11530 84th Avenue, Delta, BRITISH COLUMBIA, V4C 2M1 CANADA,
(604) 816-0460 (cell) ($7); jrb of

Game Notes:
1) Terry is still having some medical problems, Eric Ozog is continuing to negotiate and submit orders for Terry. Eric originally brought Terry into the Diplomacy hobby all those many years ago, and so I'm glad he's agreed to do this.
2) At least one player here actually believed the FAKE TAP #316 and thought the game had folded. It has not. Get your orders in by December 6 or I will have to replace you. If you had your orders in, you may change them. I'm printing the press anyway.

(BERLIN- > ALL): Everyone is being strangely silent, even Uncle Bernie; I sense an ol' stabaroo coming my way. If that's the case, so be it. Doug will still be my toady.
(BERLIN- > ANKARA): Your sad proposal to have the Toadfather restored to power is a transparent ruse to install a government favorable to the Turks, and is fortunately lacking support from the other European powers. I am the interim Kaiser and merely implementing the Toadfather's wishes, and I wish him a speedy recovery.
(TERRY - ERIC): After you win this game for me, I have some shoes I need shined up all nice and pretty. And my car needs waxing.
(EDMONTON to VIRGINIA): I never liked you, and I never will. Ever. You are everything that is wrong with this hobby.
(ITALY - ENGLAND): If you lived in a real country you might be doing better now, eh?
(PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT): Nipple clamps hurt when you take them off. Ouch!
(PAUL - MATT): Sorry, I meant John Biehl not Jim Diehl. I don’t even think he is in the hobby any longer. The Minnetonka Menace.
(TURKEY - GM): I thought I saw you strolling down the avenue. But no, I guess it was just someone that looked a lot like I remember you do.
(GM - TURKEY): I have not been in your neighborhood for quite a few years now, so no, it couldn't have been me.
(FROG - POPE): Is it just me, or is Miley Cyrus a lot cuter without the blond wig?
(BERLIN- > MOSCOW): No doubt you're totally bored with the stalemate on the Turkish front, but I ask you to hold fast for a couple more seasons as we will break through in the Balkans and Italy. The tide will turn!

FLIP FLOP: 2003G, Regular Diplomacy
Fall 1910
AUSTRIA (Wiedemeyer): a bud-TRI, a GAL-war, a MOS-war, a VIE S a bud-tri.
ENGLAND (Kent): a swe-DEN, a mun-KIE, f ENG-mid, f bar-NWY, f NTH S a swe-den.
FRANCE (McHugh): f BRE S ENGLISH f eng-mid, f MAR-gol, a RUH-bur, a BUR-mar, f MID-wes,
a SPA s a bur-mar
GERMANY (Sundstrom): f BAL S a stp-lvn, a ber-SIL, f gob-STP(SC), a stp-LVN,
a BOH s ENGLISH a mun-tyo (nso), f den h (d r:ska,hel,otb).
TURKEY (Levinson): a con-SEV, a apu-VEN, f AEG h, a UKR-gal, f WES s f gol-spa(sc),
a BUL S a rum, f adr-ION, f GOL-spa(sc), a tri s a ser-bud (d r:tyo,alb,otb),
f ion-TYH, f BLA C a con-sev, a RUM s a ser-bud (nso), a SER s a tri-bud (nso).

Supply Center Chart
AUSTRIA (Wiedemeyer): VIE,BUD,TRI,mos,war (has 4, bld 1)
ENGLAND (Kent): EDI,LVP,LON,por,den,kie, (has 5, bld 2)
FRANCE (McHugh): PAR,MAR,BRE,spa,bel,hol (has 6, even)
GERMANY (Sundstrom): BER,MUN,swe,stp (has 5 or 6, rem 1(r:otb) or 2)
TURKEY (Levinson): ANK,SMY,CON,bul,sev,ser,gre, (has 12 or 13, even(r:otb) or rem 1)
Neutral: none (Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants
AUSTRIA: Fred Wiedemeyer, Box 92010-Meadowbrook RPO, Edmonton, ALBERTA CANADA T6T 1N1,
(780) 465-6432, wiedem of or wiedem of
ENGLAND: Doug Kent, 11111 Woodmeadow Pkwy #2327, Dallas, TX 75228
dougray30 of
FRANCE: Jack McHugh, 810 School Lane, Folcroft, PA 19032, (856) 456-5984,
jwmchughjr of
GERMANY: Matt Sundstrom, 1760 Robincrest Lane South, Glenview, IL 60025, (847) 729-1882,
Matt.Sundstrom of or mattandzoe of
ITALY: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (661) 297-3947,
wllmsfmly of or dwilliams of
RUSSIA: Sean O'Donnell, 1044 Wellfleet Drive, Grafton, OH 44044, (440) 926-0230,
sean_o_donnell of
TURKEY: Alexandre Levinson, Beeklaan 504, 2562BP Den Haag THE NETHERLANDS, don't need phone,
al of ($5)

Game Notes:
1) Note Al Levinson's new E-Mail address.

(RUSSIA to FORMER ITALY): You left your KY Jelly at my place.
(FLAP - FRED): If you think Jim-Bob is slow, try playing in Northern Flame. I was a senior in High School when one of my games started. We just hit 1909 and I am about to retire.
(AUSTRIA to ENGLAND): I read with great interest the articles in your latest Diplomacy World dealing with the travesty at DipCon. Yes, it was a travesty... a travesty that this hobby would trash the charter simply because they did not like the way the tournament ended. So Mr. Burgess and his friends don’t like to lose? Then don't play the game. ((Hey, let's keep the record straight, I argued for not stripping the Bangor DipCon of its title and voted the same way. I happened to be outvoted.)) In my day if you had a problem with someone you slashed their tires or got their daughter pregnant. Now it seems the preferred method of revenge is to hold private "open" conference calls, make up lies, and trash the reputation of someone who did everything in their power to make a successful convention. So the convention isn't good enough to play in, but it is good enough for Edi to try and ram through his amendments like a horny seventeen-year-old who discovers his prom date has passed out in the back seat? What a crock. It's times like these that I wish I wasn't such a Rod Stewart fan. By the way, when is he going to change that hairstyle?

SECRETS: 1999D, Regular Diplomacy
Fall 1924
ENGLAND (Kent): a GAS S a par, f mid-bre (d r:eng,otb), f POR s f spa(sc) (otm).
FRANCE (Sasseville): f spa(sc)-MID, f wes-TUN, a PAR S TURKISH a pic-bre.
GERMANY (Barno): a BUL s RUSSIAN f lvp-con (nso).
RUSSIA (Osuch): f nwg-NAO, a nwy-LON, f edi-CLY, f lvp-IRI, a war-UKR,
a den-KIE, a kie-RUH, f NTH C a nwy-lon, a HOL S a kie-ruh, a BER-sil.
TURKEY (Linsey): f aeg-CON, a RUM S a gal, a GAL S a sil, f TYH S f gol-wes, a gre-SER,
a BUR S a bel, a SIL s a tyo-mun, f gol-WES, a MUN-ruh, f mar-GOL, a pic-BRE,
a TYO-mun, f NAF S FRENCH f spa(sc)-mid, a tus-PIE, f pie-MAR, a BEL S a bur.

Supply Center Chart
ENGLAND (Kent): por (has 2 or 3, rem 1(r:otb) or 2)
FRANCE (Sasseville): PAR,spa,tun (has 3, even)
GERMANY (Barno): bul (has 1, even)
RUSSIA (Osuch): MOS,STP,nwy,swe,den,ber,WAR, (has 10, bld 2)
TURKEY (Linsey): CON,ANK,SMY,rum,gre,ser,bud, (has 16, bld 1)
Neutral: none (Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants
ENGLAND: Doug Kent, 11111 Woodmeadow Pkwy #2327, Dallas, TX 75228
dougray30 of
FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 481-4280 ($0)
roland6 of
GERMANY: Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883, (607) 589-4906
mpbarno of ((BUT NOTE currently not able to access this))
RUSSIA: Bob Osuch, 19137 Midland Avenue, Mokena, IL 60448, (708) 478-3885
ROsuch4082 of
TURKEY: Bruce Linsey, PO Box 234, Kinderhook, NY 12106
GonzoHQ of

Game Notes:
1) There are no current proposals.

(DOUG - GM): Nothing against Bob, but I think it sucks that you would put in a new player this late in the game. You should have split the centers and units between me and Mike.
(GM - DOUG): Yeah, well, I thought it was better than a Civil Disorder ending, I honestly had not contemplated your "solution".
(GERMANY to TURKEY): What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
(AUSTRIA): Don’t blame me. I voted for the Satanist child molester transsexual alcoholic with a hairlip.
(GERMANY to RUSSIA): Arrrrrrh, welcome aboard, matey! One like you hasn't been seen since the days of Deviant Diplomacy in benzene!
(NEW ITALY - ALL): It might be easier to play this game if somebody would write to me. Or was there a typo in the game listing? Maybe it should have said Gunboat.
(FRANCE to BOARD): What? We elected a what as President? Wow. I thought Afro-American just meant he had frizzy hair.

CAST NO SHADOWS: Breaking Away, Designer's Rules
Rules at:
Turn 7
53 (replenish with a 3) Travis
52 (no replenishment) Empty
51 (replenish with a 3) Agnus
50 (no replenishment) Empty
49 (replenish with a 3) Death, Wally
48 (replenish with a 5) Bowie
47 (replenish with a 6) Zorro
46 (no replenishment) Empty
45 (replenish with a 3) Yorick (2)
44 (replenish with a 4) Water
43 (replenish with a 5) Drugs, Crockett (3), Xavier (1)
42 (no replenishment) Empty
41 (replenish with a 3) Krstajic
-S-P-R-I-N-T- -F-I-N-I-S-H- -L-I-N-E-
40 (replenish with a 4) Granny, Mideast, Vidic
39 (no replenishment) Empty
38 (replenish with a 3) Gavrancic, Carrot, Kyoto
37 (replenish with a 6) Sanctus, Dragutinovic
36 (replenish with a 8) Kyrie, Bonham, Rincewind,
35 (replenish with a 11) Gloria

Addresses of the Participants - Their Team and Their Cards
TEAM 1 (Rick Desper): rick_desper of (5 points)
Team Name: The Turtle Moves; Captained by Cut-My-Own-Throat Dibbler
A: Rincewind the Wizzard 14 16 14 8 (4)
B: Granny Weatherwax 11 11 4 (6)
C: Captain Carrot 15 10 3 (5)
D: Death 3 3 3 (3)
(Rincewind with the Luggage, Granny on Her Broom, Carrot of the City Watch, and Death is just DEATH!)
Total Replenishments: 12+58+18+15+33+33+18 = 187
TEAM 2 (Tom Howell): off-the-shelf of (4 points)
Team Name: Never Ending Worry Source; Manager: Rumour; Team Captain: Ye Olde Manager
A: Water 15 5 4 4 (3)
B: Kyoto 14 17 3 (3)
C: Mideast 17 10 4 (6)
D: Drugs 13 11 5 (10)
Total Replenishments: 12+35+37+44+30+22+16 = 196
TEAM 3 ((David Partridge): rebhuhn of (0 points)
Team Name: Famous Four
A: Krstajic 15 16 6 3 (7)
B: Vidic 13 7 4 (6)
C: Gavrancic 7 3 3 (9)
D: Dragutinovic 11 3 6 (8)
Total Replenishments: 12+35+40+28+13+18+16 = 162
TEAM 4 (Brendan Whyte): obiwonfive of (3 points)
Team Name: The Reverse Alphabeticists
A: Zorro 7 7 14 6 (15)
B: Yorick 7 3 3 (10)
C: Xavier 7 3 5 (8)
D: Wally 7 8 3 (18)
Total Replenishments: 12+26+24+28+28+38+17 = 173
TEAM 5 (Alexander Woo): aswoo of (10 points)
Team Name: Just Ordinary; Manager: Credo
A: Agnus 12 7 4 3 (6)
B: Sanctus 4 10 6 (4)
C: Kyrie 10 14 8 (4)
D: Gloria 16 14 11 (3)
Total Replenishments: 12+44+22+17+22+42+28 = 187
TEAM 6 (Andy York): wandrew88 of (17 points)
Team Name: Alamo
A: Crockett 15 3 4 5 (3)
B: Travis 3 4 3 (3)
C: Bowie 3 4 5 (3)
D: Bonham 3 10 8 (3)
Total Replenishments: 12+12+12+60+20+22+21 = 159

Game Notes:
1) The rules are on the TAP website in the Tinamou section. Ask if you have any questions. Up above in parentheses is the card you played to get to where you are in the field. The replenishment card is the last card in your list. Be careful to note that the card you played (the one in parentheses) is not available for you, for next turn. Just for fun, I'm going to keep track of total replenishment, by turn, which is a rough measure of how the teams are doing. Of course, it is lining up to get across the sprint and final lines in the right places that really counts. We can calculate an "efficiency score" later, which will be the ratio of scoring points per replenishment. If I'm predicting how the future of this will come out, a 10% score will be really tremendous for this measure.

(DIBBLER DIBBLES): Death plays his 3; the one in the middle. Apparently Binky threw a shoe. Carrot hopes to draft behind Zorro. ((Zorro zoomed high and left the back pack split.)) Rincewind hopes to draft behind Sanctus. ((Hosanna!)) Granny hopes to draft behind Krstajic. ((Two out of three ain't bad!))

Personal Note to You:

File translated from TEX by TTH, version 3.85.
On 21 Nov 2008, 23:40.