February 28, 2002

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287

Accessible through Internet at burgess of; FAX to (401) 277-9904

Web Page Address:

All of our subszines (Tinamou, Deny Everything, and Houdini Blues) are now accessible via the above web page. All three subszines appear in this issue.

``Yeah, I'd like to call you a liar; liar....; yeah, but that's what you...; isn't that what you always called me; so I claim my freedom.'' From the title track of Freedom by the incomparable Melissa Ferrick. She's not talking about Diplomacy of course, but more on that below....

Mark Kinney has folded his small szine, League of Nations, which had one game in it that I was playing in (as is Warren Goesle and David Partridge). If Don or Michael or Russ would like to pick up the game and run in TAP they would be welcome and could contact Mark Kinney for details at alberich of - I think there is only one player who is not a TAP subber and I would offer one free if it is picked up here. I should try to push this one a bit harder, perhaps with less intervening material this issue more people will see it.

Next issue expect the usual big ``NCAA Tournament" issue with comments and predictions (yours are welcome as well). A few comments from the peanut gallery as Selection Sunday approaches. Watch out for Pete Gillen's Virginia team as they storm back to try to claim a final ACC slot in the tournament. They finish up against Duke (tonight as I write this) and Maryland - I'd bet they win one of those games and get to the Semis of the ACC Tournament to get in! That leaves the Big 10's last team, probably Minnesota, on a difficult bubble. They likely will NOT get in. And can the Big East get five teams or even six? A key will be Notre Dame and I, unfortunately, will be rooting VERY hard for Notre Dame to lose to Providence on Saturday (which I won't be able to watch since I'll be at the Diplomatic Incident in Boston). The local Providence team has generally been disappointing, which is really too bad because one of the nicest and most talented guards that PC has ever had (who I would take over Duke's Jason Williams and his career .667 free throw shooting percentage) John Linehan, won't go to the NCAA's and might not even go to the NIT unless they beat Notre Dame. John has passed fellow Friar Eric Murdock (376) for the most steals in college basketball history (I think it is 378 and counting) and he even beat Allan Iverson's single season Big East record this year. But the rest of the team is simply not very good and we're back playing a 6'5" player at center again (who works hard as a Freshman, but in the Big East?). Let's all root for John Linehan to have a ten minute, three steals a game, NBA career..... if he can get on the right team. Anyway, I think Kansas and Cincinnati are better shots at the Final Four than Duke this year. On the women's side, I know it is frontrunning, but we're rooting for the UConn women's team to sweep through the NCAA's to victory. They are SO much better than anyone in the Big East that it's sad.

The start of the music issue follows, good diversity of me plus other people. You should contribute too! And don't miss the last page where I toss in some late extra musical comments!

The postal sub price is now $1.50 per issue in the US and Canada, STILL a bargain at twice the price.... but you can double that for other foreign subbers (or $3.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and future game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $20.00 ($15.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). NOTE: See the revised game start announcements below!

Check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch with all of the information you need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at:

I also have taken over the Postal portion of the Pouch:

and TAP on the web is there at:

where the szine resides in html format. Presently, issues from #190 to the current issue are there, and I will be updating the back issues gradually someday. Also, check out Stephen Agar's more extensive efforts at: and

David has grabbed and reserved the HIGHLY prized name:!! David Wang's site used to be the best place to follow John Caruso's postal baseball league that I am in. BUT, the site has not been updated as well in recent times. THE place to follow the league now is DICKIE-POO Martin's website: where in the ``files'' section, ``baseball'' sub-section, you can see all of the individual and team level stats. You need to sign up as a ``member'' to see all of the files. You, too, can chat with John Caruso there, especially on Saturday and Sunday mornings. My Red Sox team is looking great for next year and so I'm very excited. BUT WE ARE LOOKING FOR A FEW NEW PLAYERS!! Contact John Caruso at commishjohn of or me for more details. We have just one team left open at the moment. Don't be left out. Exhibition baseball play has started and then I'll get a chance to see if I really have put together a contender.

Peter Sullivan's subszine is currently ``in stasis", although all the back issues can be accessed via :

Peter was saying that he would be unlikely to be starting any new games in the Octopus until ``at least the start of 2002." He is now hearby declared to be in official indeterminate stasis and that date is now a ``whenever''. In the meantime, if anyone else fancies running some choo-choo games here in TAP, both Peter and I would be keen for someone else to try their hand. I think we really DO have Rip Gooch as the representative volunteer, more forthcoming on that.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!!


We've got a new person this issue again, one that MIGHT just be able to be found, so I can lift fifty bucks from my pocket! If you act quickly I can give that money to YOU!! Tom is best known for his general writing skills, but he also once proposed an interesting Tournament Scoring System device that would be a good add-on adjuster to any Supply Center based scoring system:

I haven't heard from Tom Hurst for over ten years, but perhaps some of his old friends actually know where he is. If so, they should step up to the plate. If not, why don't you write me something about Tom that I can print!!! Wake up, you pile of useless deadwood!!!

Feel free to spend the time looking for some of the backlog. Let's get Bill, Mark, Gregory, Kevin, Al, and Jerry found too!!! Note that Brenton Ver Ploeg would love to find Leslie Obata, the woman that Jerry Lucas used as his front too. This could be an easy way toward finding Jerry, though as Brenton notes, who is to say she has the same name now. This is a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Bill Quinn or Mark Berch or Gregory Stewart or Kevin Tighe or Jerry Lucas or Al Pearson is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, finance a web page, GO TO A DIPLOMACY CONVENTION or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for.

This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.


The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 3UW, UK.

E-Mail: fiendish of, John.Harrington of

Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally or in GBP to John if you're doing things from that end. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

We have added a European continental representative, most of this traffic likely will occur between Ronald Camstra (in the Netherlands) and John Harrington, but if anyone here in the US wants to get money into guilders or then into other continental currencies, we'll try to help you out. Ronald Camstra can be contacted at siedler of and his home address is: Wielingenplein 48, 3522 PE Utrecht, the Netherlands. But in Holland it is most common not to send checks but to transfer money by bank. Dutch people can pay directly to Postbankaccount 4652247 of Ronald Camstra in Utrecht. Since he can see the name and address of the sender in his bankreceipt, people only have to mention the name of the zine and the editorial address along with their bank order. Ronald is obviously a huge Settlers of Catan fan. If you're interested in playing that game internationally by mail, I think Ronald can help you out.

We also have reopened a branch office of the International Subscription Exchange in Australia!! Brendan Whyte, the publisher of the excellent szine Damn the Consequences will be doing the honors, taking over in some sense from John Cain, who was the Australian rep for many years. You can contact Brendan to sub to Australian szines from the US or to sub to US szines from Australia, converting Australian dollars into American ones. I think we can maneuver deals to Europe from the other reps as well. You can find Brendan Whyte at b.whyte of (same university where John Cain works!) or by mail to send checks at: Geography Dept., University of Melbourne, Vic 3010, AUSTRALIA. This should help out my Australian subbers!!

WORLDMASTERS00 SECTION (with other Tournament Info)

Worldmasters 2000 Email Diplomacy Tournament Goes ON!!

This year a large number of players went on to Round 2, before they narrowed to the Semi-Final Round of Seven games to determine who goes to the Finals. Prominent semifinalists include: David Malloch (one of last year's finalists), Paraic ``Fred'' Reddington (tall Irish elfin Diplomat as hard as nails!), Jack Brawner (best known as Dick Martin's childhood pal), Paul Riley (GM extraordinaire who proves he can play too!!), Erlend ``Joe'' Janbu (I'm learning Norwegian so I can talk to him and Frank Johansen in their own language... my first E-Mails to Joe were more or less understandable), Yann Clouet (one of France's greatest exports to the English speaking world), Egbert ``Egg'' Ferreira (extremely, even by Dipping standards, arrogant Brazilian... don't let him bowl you over), Thomas Franke (long acknowledged as the best German player in the world, showing he's not washed up), Stephen Agar (my Diplomacy World co-editor is showing he can play the game with finesse!), Fearghal ``Twerg'' O'Donnchu (the Irish wildman!!), Christian Dreyer (winner of tournaments and demo games, extremely dangerous!), Brian Dennehy (wow, he is just a great player, not second in any book of mine), Jody McCullough (yes, our very own Bay Area whiz!), Frank Johansen (the aforementioned other Norwegian and the President of the Norwegian Diplomacy Association), and Chetan Radia (he of the only 18 center win at this summer's World DipCon). Expect this Tournament not to end until later this year. The Semi-Finals are almost over. The next tournament in the series will be WorldMasters 2002, starting sometime next year.

Jody McCullough had the dubious distinction of being the first semi-final player eliminated, after being jumped by Frank Johansen and Yann Clouet. Watch out for Frank and Yann now!!! They are jousting with each other as the Semifinal rounds work into their pressure packed C-Diplo driven supply center count based ends. Can Frank (who is leading) get into the Finals???

The main WWW site for Worldmasters used to be found at

And you could have signed up for the conference board at worldmasters2000

But a disaster has struck Cloud Nine and its estimable CEO Emeric Miszti. You can read details of this at which is the ISP that Emeric sold out Cloud Nine Communications Ltd.'s contracts to. In a nutshell, what happened was that someone or someones blasted with various kinds of Denial of Service attacks. They ended up being so serious that they collapsed Emeric's whole system and his company. I can't even imagine what a nightmare this has been to Emeric. More from Emeric below.

Right now, many of you should be able to access Ray Setzer's newsgroup at:

news:// which had been mirroring the Cloud Nine site. You also may find results at this place for the Road to Rio: Kill Egg game that I have been playing in with the always interesting Egbert Ferreira. We have just concluded that game with a gentleman's draw with Erlend ``Joe'' Janbu in the supply center count lead. Believe it or not, Egg and I DID ally for the last year of the game! Lastly, rumour has it that Toby Harris is recently married on February 2nd. I know this 'cause I've seen a picture..... congratulations to Toby and his new bride who I briefly met at World DipCon in Paris last summer!!!

Toby Harris (Fri, 15 Feb 2002 14:44:47)

Hi Jim, Thanks for all the kind words in your zine. It is much appreciated at this difficult time.

This is a temporary email address but I will keep it live for a few months so please feel free to let anyone else have it who would like to contact me.

We are slowly completing the closing down of Cloud Nine, should be all done by the end of the month and then I can get some time to think about future directions. Wow, did the story carry a bit around the world!! I have been getting calls from reporters in about 50 countries and even made it to CNN - that's a first ;)

Anyway I will write a longer note when I get a chance. I am still trying to get in touch with everyone and let them know my new contact details. Thanks once again for your best wishes and kind words. I would like to reciprocate and send my best wishes too.

Best Regards, Emeric, emeric of

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

The game Diplomacy is a copyrighted product owned by Hasbro and all reproductions or other use of that material in this szine is intended to be personal use and not infringe on those rights in any way. All reproductions are done at a heavy financial loss to the editor and thus are without the remotest possibility of commercial intent, except to promote THE game, the Game of Diplomacy, which you all should purchase from Hasbro or other duly licensed distributors.

In what I believe is a RECENT change, Hasbro also has been putting the rules to Diplomacy up on their web page along with rules for most of their other games. Not only that, but they have the ``current'' as well as an older version of the rules there. Stephen Agar has matched that and more with some of the even older rulebooks. Check these out if you like:

Nice of them to make BOTH of these available. And all seven different US rulebooks for Diplomacy can now be found here courtesy of Stephen Agar:

Check out the new Diplomacy World -

The new Spring issue is now out!!! For future issues, I'm also still looking for WRITERS!!! Please!!! You don't want me to turn into Larry Peery, do you?? But thanks to Larry for an article that appears in this issue.

If you want to subscribe in paper form at $3 per issue, North American subs should be sent to David Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033, USA. Stephen Agar is handling international postal subscriptions and you can write to him at: 47 Preston Drove, Brighton, BN1 6LA, UK. Issues from Stephen will cost you 2 GBP in the UK and 3 GBP for the rest of the world. Or subscribe electronically at diplomacyworld at Yahoo Groups!

Stephen Agar (Sat, 23 Feb 2002 21:29:00)

Diplomacy World 88 is available to download as a PDF file or to view as a web zine at:

Issue 88 includes:

Editorial: Maybe I Should Get out More?

Voting At An End (Top Table Experience - WDC 2001) by Edi Birsan

First is the Worst, Second is the Best by Brian Dennehy

Diplomacy World Interview IV - Jim Burgess Discusses the British Hobby with Richard Sharp

First Dip At Sea Adventure Sails Into History - by Larry Peery

Across the Whole Board by Allan Calhamer

The Too Great German Empire by Thomas van Damn

Game of the Clans III by Stephen Agar

Tournament Tryouts by David Partridge

So You Think You're Playing Diplomacy? by Stuart Eves

Face-to-Face Diplomacy Dates for the Diary

((Thanks, Stephen, no more disk crashes from you, but one of your fellow Brit editors can't say that. What's with disk crashes on your computers over there????))

Mike Dean (Sun, 24 Feb 2002 23:57:07)


I am sure you are already aware that I have had a major PC crash over the weekend - second in 9 months. A complete disaster! I guess I'll survive...

... however, I've lost a substantial amount of data - most important of which is my e-mail / address book. An absolute complete BUMMER!

I would be extremely grateful if you could do me the great service of publicising this via your respective publications on and off line and ask any players / potential players to contact me asap with their contact details. I am sure you realise what a nightmare this is / would be for you, and will do what you can to help. Obviously it's not just my gaming activities which are suffering as a result - all my personal e-mail addresses have gone too. Complete mess. What I would say is - don't get caught out. This is my second time. There will NOT be a third!!! Suddenly backup has become my NUMBER ONE priority.

Cheers, MIKE, mike.dean of

psychopath webzine -

((I play here and other Americans have been joining up recently. Check it out!!))


Tell me anything you like about the year of 2000 or 2001 in music. List a top two, a top ten, or a top 100, I don't care, just tell me something!! Mine starts in THIS issue!!! And it will be a joint 2000 and 2001 issue. As I start off up here talking about music, I also make a necessary title change to this section.... as we talk as much about movies these days.

Rather than a list, I am going to go stream of consciousness a bit. I'm going to start off with some favorites in the folkish area and wrap up with some wilder stuff. But I think I've grown much more selective lately. I'll talk about that more as we go. I'm glad I have comments from some of the rest of you as well. More are welcome.

Although, this first recording is quite wild folk from partially local Erin McKeown who I've raved about in this space before. A few years ago, I was at one of her concerts about five feet from her guitar watching, stunned, at her inventive fingerwork. Her first full CD is called Distillation and it came out in 2000 ( and it plays down her pickin' eccentricities, but be assured that I've never heard ANYONE just like her and I've heard them all. What it does do is celebrate her cerebral songwriting eccentricities. She can be a little bit blues jazzy like in ``Didn't They?'' where she croons, ``you in your half-shirt and lies, me with the half-lit eyes. What a pair, who would ever suspect?'' or she can be upbeat and sassy with ``When the decent folks dance a two step revival: denial and deviation, temptation and trial. Estelle, what you loved you gave away. Jesus says we die a little death for him every day!'' which comes off ``La Petite Mort". For some truth in advertising, I should say that Charlotte says that Erin is too predictable, though this opinion I think comes out of her connection of Erin's music to the cowboy music that she loves (and I have come to appreciate). There is a song called the ``Little Cowboy'' on this record, of course, that accentuates this side of Erin. And then, just when you think you've seen all of Erin's many sides, she completely blows you away with the depth of her ``How to Open My Heart in 4 Easy Steps''. Going back to where I began this paragraph, looking into Erin's eyes as you sit close to her while she sings this gorgeous song is positively unnerving. Presently, she is touring with some other more than decent singers (who though really can't tie Erin's shoes) called Voices on the Verge ( and if we weren't busy playing Diplomacy at the Incident on Saturday March 2nd, I'd drag us all over to the Somerville Theater for their 8PM show! But they're going to NYC on March 6th, Nashville on March 12th, and Albany, NY on March 28th. But I'll be seeing it when it ends up back here in Providence on April 25th. They've been in other major cities in January and February and I'd be interested to hear if anyone caught them. Distillation probably was my favorite record of 2000. I guarantee you that you haven't ever heard anything precisely like it.

Speaking of Cowboys, a brief mention is worthy for Sally Timms of the Mekons and her record from 2000, Cowboy Sally's Twilight Laments for Lost Buckaroos. Sally is one of the cleanest, clearest, most arresting singers I have ever heard and she showcases it on this record with a whole host of cowboy backup musicians. Jeff Tweedy from Wilco as chief cowboy guitarist and John Herndon (drummer from Tortoise) are among these luminaries. The duet with Jane Baxter-Miller, whoever she is, also is to die for. This isn't a great record by any standard, but it is unique and I love it. I toss in a short quote in the Fear and Whiskey game below.

I admit that in recent years, with thousands of records and more than a thousand CD's in my collection, I spend more and more time listening to older music as a percentage of my listening. I also think there are fewer and fewer artists that really pick me up and stun me as new, I haven't decided what the weight of the various factors affecting those feelings are though. Well, that has me listening to really good compilations of really good artists who've blown me away in the past. So let me tell you about some recent compilations that are really worth picking up. We really must begin with Ghod..... who is Action Packed in The Best of the Capitol Years! From the Los Lobosesque guitar work in ``Turning of the Tide'' to the slicing ``Razor Dance'' to the piercing gaze of ``1952 Vincent Black Lightning'' these 19 tracks were collected together in 2001 and have been on my CD player pretty continuously since then. ``Turning of the Tide'' originally was on 1988's Amnesia and features all of the Mitchell Froom production that typifies Ghod over those early Capitol years. Froom, of course, also worked with Los Lobos which is why some of these songs sound so much like our favorite Tex-Mex band. And I just can't get enough of ``Vincent'' and ALWAYS hit the replay button to hear it twice in a row. At the end of that period, on ``Razor Dance'', Richard picks up Chris Collister on background vocals. Then Richard hooks up more consistently with his rock solid rhythm section of Dave Mattacks on drums and Danny Thompson on double bass. I love listening to the three of them toss things back and forth seamlessly live. These latter tracks on the CD are produced a bit looser by Tom Rothrock. I like my Ghod raw and at times Froom overproduced him a bit and this compilation provides a good way to feel these contrasts. ``Cooksferry Queen" (that originally appeared on Mock Tudor) adds David McKelsy on a mean harmonica to Danny and Dave to illustrate this ``live'' style perfectly. I haven't seen Thompson live in a bit, he's presently touring in the Midwest and West of the US. I always like to hear how Ghod is doing if anyone saw him recently.

Then there is arguably the best song of the late 1970's....``Love Will Tear Us Apart''. Last spring, I was transported back to 18 December 1979 for a trip with Joy Division. This szine was famous for its pervasive Ian Curtis jokes in its early years, the more tasteless the better. And I never forget my roots. Les Bains Douches, 18 December 1979 is a compilation of live recordings from Joy Division that actually also includes songs from January 1980 gigs in Amsterdam and Eindhoven. And I couldn't possibly pick a compilation release of 2001 between these two. As smooth as the Thompson CD is, this one is raw and obscenely seductive.... like when Ian screams ``I'm not afraid any more'' in the middle of ``Insight'' and then they screech off into some wacky feedback. Then, of course, Bob Olsen favorite ``Shadowplay'' follows right after that, a perfect Diplomacy song. Anybody waiting for me in the depths of the ocean??? Come along, I'm sure we can make a deal.... People (especially long time TAP pal Drew James) frequently turned Joy Division fandom into New Order fandom, but New Order never, never, never has had that snarling growl that Ian Curtis brings to ``Transmission''... ``Dance, dance, dance, dance, dance to the Radio!!!!'' There are 16 songs here, essentially all of the Joy Division output that means much of anything. And it all means a tremendous amount. ``Where will it end???" On ``Day of the Lords'' Ian growls, and growls, and growls, and then lightens up to loosen the tension. Recorded in France, live, listening to the EXTREMELY small crowd cheer after each song brings me right back.... An Ian Curtis song is always something of an endurance race! I need to quote from the liner notes that illustrates perfectly how this record makes me feel.... ``This CD is, of course, of its time; not just late 1979 when it was recorded, as Joy Division beat up on their sound and vision to move implacably on, from Unknown Pleasures to Closer, but also Spring 2001, the date of release, reminding us, in the dog days of another culture, traumatised by synthetic rock and an increasingly aimless dance culture, reminding us what pop music is and can be.'' Indeed.

Well, was nothing produced that was good pop recently? Oh, 2000, anyway, produced at least two pop albums that I really enjoyed. U2's All That You Can't Leave Behind had the stunning and ubiquitous ``Beautiful Day'' in it. You saw it in Bandits, you heard it during the Super Bowl (that's the only part of that I'm really sorry I missed!) - ``You're out of luck; And the reason that you had to care; The traffic is stuck; And you're not moving anywhere!'' And the rest of the album makes you realize that the Dave Matthews Band sucks and has no idea how to make an album..... ;-) Daniel Lanois and Brian Eno DO know how to make a pop album though, and U2 makes the right choice in asking for their assistance. I can hear their influence mostly on ``Kite'' for the slower music and ``Elevation'' for the faster dance music - both of which are GREAT songs. ``Kite'' is a particular favorite of mine with the spiraling guitar work and the majestic drumming. The album finishes up with ``Grace, it takes the blame....'' I harken back to 1979 for Boy as the definitive U2 album for me and the beginning. I saw U2 here in Providence in the 1979-80 academic year on their very first US tour and only their first or second US show. But this album is the one that made me fall in love with this band anew. And this is far from original to me, but there's also a series of songs... ``New York'', ``Stuck in a Moment'', and ``Peace on Earth'' that make you think Bono knew about September 11th in advance. We'll see if I can live down agreeing with old pals Eric Ozog and Dan Stafford.... see below.

Then, I have a ``bad tendency to get burned or explode'' with Semisonic. From the first Pleasure that had that cute song ``Sculpture Garden'' to ``Closing Time'' from Feeling Strangely Fine in 1998, I've always thought this band just makes fun pop, like so few bands do these days. So, yes, I liked 2001's All About Chemistry. But, again, I like the whole album. ``Act Naturally'' is just a straightforward love song but is followed by the complex intensity of ``She's Got My Number''. Hey, all this is is a good CD to play straight through with some pop variety. Yes, you've heard ``All About Chemistry'' on the radio, but ``One True Love'' should have been there more too.

Let's now look at pop in a bit more bittersweet direction. Unfortunately, Kirsty MacColl is no longer with us, but I've been listening to Tropical Brainstorm a whole lot recently too. Salsa and Mambo with a fresh kick leaves us where ``I know an island where the people are kind, and the rest of the world seems far away." Kirsty wrote or co-wrote everything on here. I wrote a lot about Kirsty's untimely death when it happened, so I won't revisit that since that's the only thing that's bittersweet about this album. ``Treachery made a monster out of me....'' pay attention you Diplomatic backstabbers. ``Treachery'' has some slightly repetitive chord progressions, but it is just such a bright cheery romp that you forgive the excess! She does the big flipper on the stalker as she is pissed off at us fickle fan types who abandon her for that latest useless pop song. Beautiful! In general this is much brighter than her previous work, mostly because it's hard to make a dark Mambo. The best thoughtful song on the album probably is ``Here Comes That Man Again'' which bops ``Although what I tell him is corny; It seems to make him quite horny; And through the cyberspace, I watch the rapture on his face; Yes, while his girlfriend's sleepin' his sexuality is peakin'!'' Like everything on this list, I hope, there's a little bit about a Kirsty MacColl record and especially THIS Kirsty record that is truly unique. Kirsty has always been somewhat associated with the Smiths (e.g. her sultry cover of ``You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Baby'') and ``autumngirlsoup'' shows that even on this primarily Cuban/Latin record, she hasn't forgotten how to make the Smiths trademark sound. Instead of something morbid.... let me finish with this from the chipper lap steel fueled ``Celestine'' and ``Oh yes, she's hot, she's hot, she's hot; She's just a wild and wicked slut, and she lives inside my head and stops me sleeping!''

TO BE CONTINUED.... looks like I won't get to Melissa Ferrick this issue, but that's where we'll start off next time! But last second, last thing in the issue, I got this courtesy of the always helpful Mike Barno and the Electronic Frontier Foundation (which by the way was VERY helpful in supporting the nascent Internet Diplomacy hobby back in the early 1990's!)....


The members of the musical group Negativland have released a statement supporting Peer-to-Peer (P2P) file sharing and software provider Music City in its legal battles against the recording industry. An excerpt of the essay follows:

As musicians, we are happy to support peer to peer (P2P) music sharing technology on the web as facilitated by such programs as Morpheus. As artists, we support and actively promote the right of such file sharing software and networks to exist and to operate in the uniquely new digital domain of non-material cultural exchange that is the World Wide Web.

Besides selling our work in the form of compact discs, we encourage and promote the free exchange of our own music on the Internet using file sharing programs and P2P networks. We consider this new opportunity to share our music and ideas with others, and for others to share our music and ideas with each other, to be good for us, good for society, and good for art. We find it over-reaching when the mainstream music industry attempts to determine whether or not we can share whatever we come into digital possession of when there are so many non-infringing uses of this technology. And we find it curious that large corporations get the benefit of the doubt in this brand new context that is so alien to copyright's own brick and mortar premise, namely, that supply is always limited.

On the Net, supply is irrelevant, there is only demand. The fact that this plays havoc with copyright ``protection" assumptions is not necessarily the best reason to suppress something entirely new and useful to everyone else - free and open P2P activity. The question should be: Should our unbendable copyright laws apply the same on the Net if it's going to also suppress P2P exchanges of all kinds there? What about the benefits of preserving THAT before it's too late?

As musicians who make a living selling our music, we believe in the spirit of copyright as set forth by our founding fathers who designed copyright to be a limited right, seeking to balance private profit and personal possessiveness with the greater public good inherent in free and open access to all ideas. Corporate America has ignored this original mandate and now seeks to re-make copyright into an endless and exclusive private property right through lawsuits such as this one. The Sonny Bono Copyright Term Extension Act's extension of copyright to 75 years plus the life of the creator means that NOTHING created in our lifetime will ever reach the public domain. Lobbied into existence by Disney and the RIAA, this new law betrays the original intent of this nation's copyright laws and is a disturbing preview of the direction our society is heading in. It ignores a basic human fact: Culture healthily evolves when it is shared. And we consider P2P systems to be a new and unexpected part of that sharing.

We also consider P2P to be very useful free advertising for the music we do sell as hard goods. And despite the plaintiff's claims of lost profits from the advent of P2P systems, independent musicians have far more to gain by its development. For thousands and thousands of musicians in the world, sharing their music via MP3 files is the ONLY way they share what they do with others. Society, and particularly artistic creativity, benefit dramatically from the Net's free and open exchange environment and we see no viable reason or way to stop it with any of the recently proposed legal and technological constraints that seek to criminalize and prevent unauthorized free exchange on the web.

For Negativland's complete essay, see:

Kurt Ozog (Wed, 13 Feb 2002 09:43:14 -0800 (PST))

New Church album - my review

Here you go Jim! Figured you could use it for the next issue.

Regards, Kurt, heyday6 of

Kurt Ozog (Fri, 15 Feb 2002 05:36:13 -0800 (PST))

Jim, Here is the very first review of the new Church album you can use. This is before I said ``give it a chance".. so if you wanted to put this review before my second review.

(sigh) will I ever send you the Porcupine Tree one? Or Echo and the Bunnymen? So much music, so little time to write. ((Believe me, I have the same problem!!!))

Well, I got the new Church album this weekend. And I hate to say it, but after 1 1/2 listens I already think they should hang it up. My expectations are deflated and I'm quite disappointed in them. It's nowhere near as good or upbeat as 1998's `Hologram of Baal'.

I happen to read a couple reviews on the Church fan group, one of which says it's one of the most ``beautiful albums ever made". Hm. Maybe I need to listen to it a few more times, but as a devoted follower of their music, I'm not so certain I need to. The songs ``Numbers", ``After Everything" and ``Chromium" are the only ones that really stand out on this album. Everything else is too depressing. ``After Everyting" though I must admit is a beautiful song, and the guitars and duo signing at least salvage *some* of the Church sound we know and love.

They sure have come a long way since the `Starfish' days. In fact, it's hard to believe this is the same band that brought you ``Under the Milky Way". I appreciate a band changing styles and using new approaches to their music. But not where they do a complete musical ``face-lift". U2 pretty much did so in the 1990's, but they at least retained many elements of their old sound. Echo and the Bunnymen's new album `Flowers' from last year is another example. I thought it was a great Bunnymen comeback album-they really kicked in the psychedelia, a-la Electrafixion but still hung on to their traditional sound-where you listen to any song and you immediately think, ``OOh yeah, that's the Bunnymen!"

The Church on the other hand provide a very faint echo of their renown sound of old which up until now, they have always stayed relatively close to. Overall, `After Everything Now This' is a drippy and sad album-almost in the vein of 1994's `Sometime Anywhere' album, only withouth the techno special effects. (sigh) Oh well, I'll still always listen to the great Church songs of old.

Best regards, Kurt, heyday6 of

((Thanks for letting me in on this discussion and good to hear some comments from old pals Dan Stafford and your brother.... I think I sorted them out properly.))

Eric Ozog (Tue, 12 Feb 2002 11:16:33 -0800 (PST))

Hi Kurt, Paul, Dan,

I also picked up the new Church album and listened to it for the first time. On my first impression, I tend to agree with Kurt-it sounds almost as bland as Sometime Anywhere; the songs are sleepers and do not reach out and grab you like they do on Hologram of Baal. Dan would probably call it lame. Oh well, maybe the album will grow on me after a few listens.

By the way Dan, what did you think of U2 playing at the Superbowl? Did they sell out or are they still great?

Eric, elferic of

Dan Stafford (Tue, 12 Feb 2002 11:16:33 -0800 (PST))

Yeah, I remember you guys panned Sometime Anywhere (that's the one with the 2nd CD,right?). I bought it anyway, and really liked it. Not so much grag, but plenty of dark mood, as I recall. So, I have the new Church in my Amazon cart, and intend to pull the lever and buy it as soon as the new Alanis Morisette comes out later this month.

((And on U2))

Still great. They have been on Leno and Letterman and really talking UP America since the 9-11 events. Sounds hackneyed coming from Americans. But coming from those foreigners, it doesn't. Their song ``New York" is an anthem as good as any they've done, and so timely and prophetic as to haunt my very soul.

Bono for President!

Dan Stafford, stafford of

Kurt Ozog (Tue, 12 Feb 2002 11:16:33 -0800 (PST))

Okay, I have since listened to it two more times from start to finish since Sunday-all I have to say is, give it a chance. It's really not that bad. There are several tracks that stick in your head. Yes, it will grow on you as does any Church album. Go ahead and get it! I'm planning to listen to it a third time as soon as time allows.

Best regards, Kurt, heyday6 of

John Harrington (Mon, 25 Feb 2002 16:03:24)


Music: I would write a small bit about albums made in 2001 but the only new albums I bought were by Ian McNabb (formerly of the Icicle Works) and the only live gigs I saw were by McNabb too, which makes me seem like the out of touch completist that I undoubtedly am. Someone mentioned David Gray a couple of issues back. Oddly enough he supported McNabb earlier in his career and now is much more successful than McNabb. On one level Gray deserves it, as he has worked hard for it and achieved it the old fashioned way, by gigging hard and slogging away. On the other hand I personally find his sound very wearing. Lin, my wife, bought his ``White Ladder" album and has barely played it since. I listened to it and liked the first two tracks but by about track 5 I was feeling suicidal. Real singer-songwriter stuff for thoughtful people living alone in bed-sits (do you have that expression in the USA? A bed-sit is like a one room apartment); not my cup of tea. ((We usually call them ``efficiencies''.))

My eldest son (aged 11) has been attempting to deafen me with Blink 142 or whatever the number is and Linkin Park and I can honestly say I prefer these to David Gray, so maybe I am not ready for the retirement home just yet.

My most recent purchase was a 5-disc set of Louis Jordan and his Tympany 5 but as Amazon delivered it to the wrong address I have not received it yet, so can't comment on it. Still, you can't go far wrong with Louis Jordan if you like that sort of stuff; numerous people have laid claim to creating the first ever rock & roll record (Ike Turner with ``Rocket 88" in 1951 & Big Joe Turner ``Shake, Rattle & Roll" in 1954 have strong claims) but Jordan's ``Choo Choo Ch'Boogie" (1946) is rock & roll in all but name. ((You have my agreement on that. I love Jordan and have raved about him before. Interesting, is this a new Louis Jordan compilation, I'll have to pick it up!))

The only other bizarre trend of music buying for me last year was buying the sort of music I disliked as a teenager; I seem to be on a bit of a funk kick with recent purchases of Funkadelic, James Brown, Sly & the Family Stone and Cameo. It's OK to buy this sort of stuff now and not be sneered at by my peers.

Regards, John, John.Harrington of

((Yes, I got over that myself just after turning 20 and not being a teenager any more. It was too many late nights hanging out with the black DJ's at my college radio station that turned me around.))

Rick Desper (Tue, 12 Feb 2002 17:21:38 -0500 (EST))

The nominations are in. My predictions and preferences below.

Best picture: nominees are Lord of the Rings, A Beautiful Mind, Gosford Park, Moulin Rouge, and In the Bedroom.

I have not seen either Gosford Park or In the Bedroom. I enjoyed A Beautiful Mind, but I am a mathematician. It's not Best Picture-worthy. I think Gosford Park and In the Bedroom are ``too small" to win. Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring will win. Not too upsetting, since it really was a very enjoyable movie. ((I disagree with you, I think Gosford Park or A Beautiful Mind are sure to win, and likely it will be A Beautiful Mind. I actually DIDN'T like some of the choices they made from the mathematician point of view in ABM though.... have you read Sylvia Nasar's book??? Extremely highly recommended, you'll love the stuff about the RAND Corporation! I've now seen all of these movies.))

My pick: Mulholland Drive (unnominated). Forced to choose from the above five I would take LotR over Moulin Rouge by a hair's breadth. ((I think you've seen what I've said about Moulin Rouge and Mulholland Drive.....))

Best Actor: Russell Crowe ``A Beautiful Mind", Sean Penn ``I am Sam", Will Smith ``Ali", Denzel Washington ``Training Day", and Tom Wilkinson ``In the Bedroom".

Crowe suffers from the fact that he won last year. Even though his performance in A Beautiful Mind is better than his performance in Gladiator, it's not so great that it cannot be passed over. This is Denzel's year. The Academy is a bit sensitive about the fact that no African-American has won Best Actor since the early 60s. With both Smith and Washington nominated, this would appear to be the year. The buzz about Denzel's performance in this movie is very hot. ((You might be right, but Crowe's performance as John Nash is SO much better than last year's winning performance that it will be unfair if that is the reason.))

My pick: the only one of the nominees I saw was Crowe. I refuse to see ``I am Sam" ((Agreed!!!)) and would prefer it if the film had never been made. The clips I've seen of Ali don't inspire me that much. I don't doubt that In the Bedroom is a great film, but, lacking anything else, I would probably go with Denzel. (Making sure I actually saw the film before voting.) Not a year with a lot of great male performances. Women dominated the year. More on that in a second.

Best Actress: Halle Berry ``Monster's Ball", Judi Dench ``Iris", Nicole Kidman ``Moulin Rouge", Sissy Spacek ``In the Bedroom", Renee Zellwegger ``Bridget Jones' Diary".

The surprise here is Berry. Where is Naomi Watts from Mulholland Drive? I predict that Kidman will win, based on her domination of the box office last year, public sympathy for the way Tom Cruise treated her, and the fact that she really did a great job. I've heard that Spacek was magnificent in In the Bedroom (I really should see that movie!), and Judi Dench is always great, but faces the Small English Movie problem. I would love it if Zellwegger won, but I think that would be an upset.

My pick: of the five above, Zellwegger a hair ahead of Kidman. Berry appeared in Swordfish last year; I think that alone should disqualify her from any Best Actress consideration. Who should really win? Naomi Watts, of course! ((I would choose Naomi Watts too, even though I didn't like the film that much. You saw my comment about Naomi, that was a GREAT performance. Even more so when you count that Lynch's directorial style is... ``whatever, you figure out what your motivation is...." Kidman, Naomi's good pal, will win. Expect some hugging and crying from the two of them at the ceremony since Naomi will likely be sitting at Kidman's table.))

Supporting Actor: Jim Broadbent, ``Iris"; Ethan Hawke, ``Training Day"; Ben Kingsley, ``Sexy Beast"; Ian McKellen, ``The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring"; Jon Voight, ``Ali."

Of these five, I've only seen LotR. McKellen is probably the favorite here, since LotR has to win more than one major award, and McKellen was terrific as Gandalf.

Anybody missing here? Maybe Joe Pantoliano from Memento. I would go with McKellen myself. ((Perhaps, I wouldn't be shocked if Voight wins, he's been doing a series of brilliant character portrayals in recent years.))

Supporting Actress: Jennifer Connelly, ``A Beautiful Mind"; Helen Mirren, ``Gosford Park"; Maggie Smith, ``Gosford Park"; Marisa Tomei, ``In the Bedroom"; Kate Winslet, ``Iris."

A bit of a controversy here, as Jennifer Connelly has been placed in the Best Actress category for most of the awards. Kate Winslet receives her second Oscar nomination for playing a role in a movie where somebody older also played the same character. I haven't seen any of these movies, and I have little feel for who will win. Forced to pick a favorite, I would go with Connelly, as her film has a lot of buzz which won't be satisfied by the Best Actor or Best Picture categories. ((Really rather unfair, as Connelly will win, but I like all four of the other performances TREMENDOUSLY, especially Helen Mirren's. She was stupendous.))

My pick: Laura Harring from Mulholland Drive. (sense a trend? This film is way underappreciated by the Oscars!) ((I see the trend.... sigh.))

Director: Ron Howard, ``A Beautiful Mind"; Ridley Scott, ``Black Hawk Down"; Robert Altman, ``Gosford Park"; Peter Jackson, ``The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring"; David Lynch, ``Mulholland Drive."

It's a sign that you won't win Best Director if your film has not been nominated for best film. That rules out Lynch and Scott. Altman won't win just because he shouldn't. That leaves Howard and Jackson. With LotR winning best film, Jackson is the favorite here. ((And, by the same reasoning, I choose Howard, but this is interesting. It really, really is five excellent directorial efforts. Altman isn't liked by the Academy, but it was brilliant direction.))

My pick: any need to ask at this point? At least Lynch was nominated here.

Animated Film: ``Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius"; ``Monsters, Inc."; ``Shrek."

Something's wrong with a category when they need to include ``Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius". Shrek will win, of course. (He'll have to leave the snowball fight to collect his reward. :) ((Yeah, have you seen Neutron?? I have seen all three of these and they invented this award for Shrek obviously. Damned award just to give Shrek an Oscar..... pain in the butt. Hey, are YOU Shrek?????? You KNOW who I am.....))

Foreign Film: ``Amelie," France; ``Elling," Norway; ``Lagaan," India; ``No Man's Land," Bosnia and Herzegovina; ``Son of the Bride," Argentina.

Prediction: no idea. I saw Amelie last night and it's terrific.

Doesn't Harry Potter count as a Foreign Film? Or is this category Foreign Language Film? ((Putdowns will get you nowhere..... ;-) Very funny, I liked Harry Potter a whole lot, but it wasn't destined to be Academy Award material. I suspect ``Amelie" will win, but that's just because it got wide US release.))

Screenplay (written based on material previously produced or published): Akiva Goldsman, ``A Beautiful Mind"; Daniel Clowes and Terry Zwigoff, ``Ghost World"; Rob Festinger and Todd Field, ``In the Bedroom"; Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson, ``The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring"; Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio and Joe Stillman and Roger S.H. Schulman, ``Shrek."

Prediction: Lord of the Rings, again.

My pick: LotR. ((Here, I think you miss how much rewriting was done by Goldsman, that deserves to win, really. I think it will too. The book is ``better'' in some sense for telling a more complex story but the screenplay was nearly perfectly designed for a movie! ABM is my pick even though I think they DIDN'T make as much of Nasar's material as they could. Our disagreement just shows what a knife's edge ABM and LotR sit on. Either one could sweep through the awards, or neither might. Don't suppose anyone would prefer to see Harry Potter here....))

Screenplay (written directly for the screen): Guillaume Laurant and Jean-Pierre Jeunet, ``Amelie"; Julian Fellowes, ``Gosford Park"; Christopher Nolan and Jonathan Nolan, ``Memento"; Milo Addica and Will Rokos, ``Monster's Ball"; Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson, ``The Royal Tenenbaums."

Prediction: this one is tough. None of these five is a Big Hollywood movie. I'll take a shot in the dark and go with Memento.

My pick: since I don't know whether Mulholland Drive ought to be an adapted screenplay or an original screenplay, I'll waive my right to insert that film here. Memento had a fantastic screenplay, so I'll go with that. ((That may be, I'd really like to see Anderson and Wilson win though. But they won't, I don't think, but I would pick The Royal Tenenbaums for the brilliant comedic writing... yet Memento was so hard to get JUST right and Gosford Park is just SO well done.))

(minor awards skipped except)...hmm. How is it that Moulin Rouge got zero nominations for Best Original Song and/or Original Score? Those are the two categories where it should be mopping up!! Did the voters not notice that the movie was a freaking musical, and the best one since Grease?? Sigh. ((Indeed!))

In summary, the Oscars are deeply flawed, but I think they'll redeem themselves somewhat by rewarding Lord of the Rings and Denzel Washington this year. If they give ``I am Sam" any awards at all, I may be forced to email-bomb somebody. ((Double Indeed!!))

(Just kidding on that last part for you NSA snoops reading my email.)

Rick, desper of

((Triple Indeed!!!))

Steve Langley (Mon, 18 Feb 2002 20:31:29 EST)

``Count of Monte Cristo" - a movie

There were some changes to the story. In fact, I got the ending I always felt should have happened when I first read the book. I think now I see why Dumas went a different way. I'm making the assumption here that everyone is familiar with the story.

Great acting on the part of Guy as Fernand Mondego, Edmond Dantes life long friend and betrayer. James Caviezel was also very good as the innocent Dantes, and the revenging Count of Monte Cristo. Right up to the end, that is.

The ending I always wanted was for Dantes and Mercedes to get back together. In the movie they did. But it rang a bit hollow. Dantes had spent 11 years in a brutal prison, teaching himself to hate. He escapes and becomes immensely wealthy all with the same stroke of luck. He hones his hate and plans the perfect vengeance. It all comes together, and then Mercedes appeals to his better nature and his heart changes, without much of a struggle at all. There really needed to be a lot more soul searching to make that ending work.

Still, pretty good movie.

Steve, Steflan of

Steve Langley (Mon, 18 Feb 2002 20:20:55 EST)

``Collateral Damage" - a movie

This movie is about the aftermath of a terrorist attack.

Arnold Swarzenegger plays an `anyman' role for a change. He is the husband of the woman killed by a terrorist bomb, the father of the child killed with his mother. He is the survivor of the terrorist's `collateral damage.' He is `Gordon Brewer' a fireman, a hero in that respect, and a man nearly destroyed by the loss of his family.

For political reasons the U.S. Government decided to not overtly go after the terrorist. The CIA is told to stand down. Instead they allow Brewer to act as their stalking goat. He independently decides to hunt down and kill the man who set the bomb. Gordon was there when the bomb was set. He saw it happen without really understanding what was going on. Now he wants vengeance.

The story takes him to Colombia where he discovers that there is absolutely no way that he can even get close to the terrorist. Between the Colombian government who do not want gringo interference, and guerilla forces who kill strangers on sight his chances are impossibly slim.

Of course he doesn't let the impossibility of the situation dissuade him.

Fairly good story with a few twists. Some good action. Well worth the price of admission.

Steve, Steflan of

Steve Langley (Sat, 23 Feb 2002 19:29:32 EST)

``Queen of the Damned" - a movie

The challenge of crunching a big book down into a movie seldom works well. When you take two big books it works even less well. ``Queen of the Damned" is case in point. The story is full of ``who are these guys?" and ``why are they doing that?''.

There is a whole lot of slow moving `pretty' shots to make it all look mystical. Sometimes in the midst of all that beauty you sort of wonder if anything is going to happen.

The movie centers around ``The Vampire Lestat" who starts out complaining about the lonely life of the immortal. The movie goes on to illustrate the point by showing all the other vampires in social groups and family groups. Turns out the real propblem is that Lestat is a whiner.

For all of that Peter Townsand was brilliant in the role. It's just that the writing could have been a whole lot better. He made it seem lots better than it was, but it wasn't enough.

It's a shame we lost Aaliya. Despite getting the title she got very little screen time. What little time she got was electrifying. She took total command of the screen when she appeared.

So, good talent wasted.

Steve, Steflan of

Steve Langley (Sun, 24 Feb 2002 02:32:48 EST)

``Queen of the Damned" - a correction

As has been pointed out to me it is Stuart Townsend, not Peter. Peter is a bit old for the role of the immortal Lestat. By the way if you decide to see the movie be on the look out for the vampire's reflection.

Steve, Steflan of

Mark D. Lew (Tue, 12 Feb 2002 01:19:22 -0800)

I confess I don't always read TAP promptly, and I often don't read it at all. But I happened to pick up this January issue and Billy Beane's name caught my eye. Beane to the Red Sox!?! Boy, that gave me a scare. But I see you were talking about this in December, and two months later it hasn't happened, so evidently that was a false alarm. ((As I write this on issue date, Dan Duquette is fired, Mike Port (his long suffering loyal assistant) is interim GM and the new ownership team takes over the Red Sox. Believe it, they would still LOVE to get Beane, realizing the possibility might be low....))

Losing Beane would be devastating to the A's. Far worse than Giambi. In fact, losing Giambi really wasn't such a bad thing at all. Yes, of course, he was our superstar, and if by some quirk he loved Oakland enough that he'd want to stay here for non-superstar money, then sure that would be great. But the A's are a team built with a plan, and that plan does not include hanging on to superstars. In a few years, one or more of our pitchers will become a superstar (as will, I suspect, 3B Eric Chavez), and they'll move on to some money team as well. That's OK. (In one of his sillier quotes, a few months ago Beane said, ``We're like Menudo: after you get to be a certain age you can't play here anymore.")

As an A's fan, you get used to thinking the team can survive the loss of pretty much anyone, but the one loss that would really destroy the A's would be to lose Billy Beane. He is the one who is truly the heart and soul of the team. He is very likely the best GM in baseball, and indubitably the best one for the A's situation. It is because of him that the A's are able to be competitive year after year in spite of having a modest budget.

The A's plan is based on two things: the farm system, and smart trading. Even more generally, it is based on one thing: trading for value. The farm system is basically about spotting talent that others haven't spotted and signing it up while it's still undervalued. That's the basic A's philosophy with regard to drafting younger talent, but it also applies to nabbing minor leaguers and second-stringers from other teams who aren't making good use of them.

Billy Beane's genius is the same sort of thing that makes for a good stock investor. It's not just about spotting absolute talent; it's about seeing what is undervalued and what is overvalued. Some GMs seem to not get this *at all*. They figure, player X is really great, so we want to get him, and then they do what they can to get him. The A's think in terms of who can we get as a bargain, and when we spot a bargain we'll take it whether we need it or not, because we can always deal it to whoever does need it.

That's the other half of the equation. Good talent never goes to waste in the A's organization. You'll never find a guy who is ready to play in the majors sitting around on the bench because we don't have a spot for him. We'll keep him warm for a while, but always keeping an eye on which team he would be most valuable to, and then we'll deal him - either to fill our own holes in a run for the post-season, or in exchange for more underrated talent to cultivate for later.

There is a lot of talk about the A's three great young starting pitchers. What is not so well-known is that we actually had a plethora of good young starting pitchers. Coming up right behind the big three were another batch who, on many teams, would have been starting already. But the reality is that with our starting rotation already solid, there isn't much future for them here, so they got traded. The star of them was Mario Ramos, whom many around here were saying should have been brought up for our fifth starter. But we don't want four starting pitchers under 25 - or five, if you count Jesus Colome, whom some said was also too good to trade away - so of course he was going to be traded. As it turns out, the ability to offer up Ramos to the Rangers (who needed him desperately - on that team he could be their ace, as a rookie) is what made it possible for us to get Peña, whom many other teams were coveting.

But that's not to suggest that Ramos and Colome were cultivated specifically for export. If it had turned out differently we might have kept them. The point is to get the most value from them possible, whether that turns out to be on the team or in trade, and not to get stuck on one plan or the other. Jose Ortiz turned out the opposite. It was generally assumed that he WAS being cultivated for the team - and no doubt he was: 2B is one of our weak spots, and he was promising to be our 2B of the future. But when Billy Beane figured out that it would be possible to turn him into Jermaine Dye by means of a three-way deal (a brilliant maneuver, by the way), he took it because for us it was a bargain. In the short run, Dye solved a more pressing problem in our lineup (and we were muddling along OK at 2B), and in the long run, he alleviates the problem of losing Johnny Damon, which we were already planning for by then.

The A's will always trade away a player who becomes overrated. Even if we like him a lot, if someone else likes him even more, and will give up more than he's worth for it, we'll take it. That's what happened with Ben Grieve last year. (If I'm remembering that trade right, it landed us Johnny Damon AND Cory Lidle.) Less obvious was Mark Guthrie, a pretty good LH reliever who can pitch several innings if necessary. We liked him, but someone else liked him more, so we gave him up. (I can't remember where; was that the David Justice trade, maybe?) On the other hand, there's Jeremy Giambi, who is a pretty good player but not a great fit for us right now. If someone had wanted him, he would have been traded, but at the moment Jeremy seems to be underrated. So we'll probably play him as DH and second-string outfield for a while until people notice that he's more than just Jason's little brother, and then we'll see what happens.

A's team right now looks about as good as last year's team, even with Giambi gone, and in terms of the season beyond it's even better, because we've got more of our starters in multi-year contracts now (all of the young guys except Zito and Hernandez, last I heard).

Glad the Patriots won. I was rooting for the Raiders against them in that crazy game in the snow, but only half-heartedly. (I'm not really attached to the home team in football, as opposed to baseball where I'm overwhelmingly a one-team fan.) But I hate the Rams and I hate the Steelers. I would have been satisfied if you had beat either one of them. Beating both was a bonus.

mdl, markdlew of (Mark D. Lew)

P.S. I'm curious. How well known is Billy Beane's other claim to fame? Here in the Bay Area we hear about it in certain circles, but it seems like it almost never comes up in the course of regular baseball coverage. I'm guessing you know what I'm talking about. (Or maybe you don't?)

((I wasn't sure at first, but I did know he now considers himself gay, though as I understand it he was married and has a twelve year old daughter, I believe, who lives in Southern California. This is thought to be why he wants a six year extension until she is 18. Thanks for the summary of A's moves. I agree, he really IS that brilliant, which is why the Red Sox owners want him.))

Mark D. Lew (Thu, 21 Feb 2002 22:29:37 -0800)

An article on the A's website says that Beane's current contract lasts through 2005 and they are now negotiating to extend that to 2008. What I find especially interesting is this paragraph.

``The extension reportedly would include the same out clause he has in his current contract, which states he could leave the team if current owners Steve Schott and Ken Hofmann sell the club. Beane's name has been raised in many GM searches in recent years, most recently in speculation about the Boston GM spot still held by Dan Duquette.'' ((Not any more on that last clause, of course....))

Of course, I've come to expect that any contract in sports is renegotiable, so I'm sure that if Beane really wants to leave they'll find a way. Even so, that first sentence surely implies that under the contract he CAN'T leave if the owners DON'T sell the team. Otherwise, the out clause described would be meaningless.

This, incidentally, is an excellent example of the commonly misunderstood logical principle of ``the exception proves the rule". Here the ``rule" is that Beane is not allowed to leave the team under the terms of his current contract. Even though the rule is not explicitly stated, the statement of the exception proves that it must exist.

I've seen this principle applied in history, with regard to questions which are not well documented. For example, one author (Whittow), making the case that the Byzantine Empire maintained a money economy throughout the 7th and 8th centuries (a very hot debate in Byzantine studies...), cites certain documents in which a landowner was given permission to pay taxes in goods, arguing that such a permission would be meaningless if paying in coin were not the rule.

mdl, markdlew of (Mark D. Lew)

((If I had to bet, I'd go with the theory that he wants to stay on the West Coast for six more years, as long as the ownership he likes working with stays in place.))

Mike Barno (Fri, 22 Feb 2002 23:59:04 -0500)

Best Sports Quote of 2001: ``A recent Hudson International Speedway banquet was held"... [a little New Hampshire bullring] ... ``the highlight was that there were no altercations of any kind." (Joe LaRochelle, ``Riding With the Minuteman", Speedway Scene, week of 12/21/2001.)

Mike, mpbarno of

Mike Barno (Fri, 22 Feb 2002 20:18:04 -0500)

Here's my obligatory Best Music and Stuff of Last Year lists. It's part of the program here so I might as well get with it.

Best Live Music of the First Year of the New Millenium (depending on your scoring system for first year) was no contest. The ``Hickory Smoked Blues" festival that I reviewed in TAP issue 249 was the finest time I've had with music all year; virtually the ONLY time in that category. The jam band that a few Dippers heard outdoor behind a bar in Chapel Hill during DixieCon was a distant second by default. They just didn't move me though I usually enjoy that sort of band.

Best New Recorded Music of 2001: Don't ask me, I'm still in the second millenium, except for a sampler of fourteen Ithaca-area bands. It's the I-Town Records debut CD. Very eclectic; if your tastes are diverse or you're simply adventurous, you'll love this disk and put it on ``shuffle" with other CDs. If your tastes are limited, you'll hate a few songs, love a few songs, and have a bunch of the songs grow on you if you play them a few times. Everything else I got in 2001 or the 2000 holidays was from the 1920s (Bessie Smith) through the 1980s (a reissue on one CD of Walkin' Jim Stoltz's first two cassette releases).

Best Game Con of 2001: No call. '01 was my best year in over a decade for cons. I won't pick one, I'll just list them: KinderKon in January and LongCon in February at the Linseys' in upstate New York. I always learn new games and play with old friends at these housecons. DixieCon in late May in North Carolina, followed by camping with old Yellowstone friends in Uwharrie National Forest. These weren't Dippers but one (Craig Aldinger) reviewed a Southern Culture on the Skids concert for TAP around the start of 1998. In early July there was LabCon at the Linseys'. In early August I stoked old good memories attending the MadCon reunion. My convention year ended in early October with Tempest in a Teapot in the Balt-Wash corridor, while I camped nights in Patapsco Valley State Park. Only four states, only four cities, but six good events with many different games and many different old and new friends.

Best Dipdom Editorial Decision of 2001: Jim Burgess gets this for keeping all the post-September-eleven ranting of all sorts (including mine) out of TAP. ((Gee, did I do that???))

Best Big-Picture Perspective-Giving Event of 2001: The Leonids meteor showers of November eighteen. Now that the experts have gotten better data from space-based instruments and refined their simulations, they were able to tell the public when Earth's orbit would intersect comet-debris trails left drifting in 1699 and 1767 and 1866. If more people start looking at models of the solar system and intersecting orbits, they might think more broadly than before, and recognize that there might be even more dangerous things than violent crazy humans.

Best Thing About 2001: It woke a lot of people (especially Americans) up to a lot of realities; and it gave reminders of how a lot of things might be better in 2002.

Mike, mpbarno of

((Agreed, realities that those of us who think about such things already were worried about and didn't need waking up about. My wife Charlotte and I often talk about how we are LESS worried since Sept. 11th than we were before because we worried that the ``best shot'' would be even more devastating. I won't talk about Survivor here (probably pissing off Mike for mentioning it anywhere near his letter), but we do have a Yahoo Pick 'em Game group. Come join us there!! You've only missed one episode and ***I*** am missing that episode too (though I put votes in) to finish this darn szine!))

Doug Massey, Eric Hunter, Tim Miller and Dan Miller (22 Feb 2002 09:37:01 -0800)

Re: Survivor 4 Pick'em Game?

masseyd of (Douglas T. (Doug) Massey ): All Survivor freaks: Is there a Pick'em game anywhere for the upcoming series (first episode: Thursday!)? I don't see anything at Yahoo . . .

Elladan915 of (Eric Hunter): Yahoo Pick'em is up and running. Group: S-4-r.g.d. Password: Diplomacy.

Tim Miller wrote: I think you need the Group ID - not the name of the group.

Dan Miller wrote: Group ID is 1281

Steve Mauris (Jan. 17, 2002)

Dear Jim,

Do you know anything about H. P. Lovecraft?

-Steve, HQ TFF, G2, Camp Bondsteel, Kosovo APO AE 09340

((As you might expect, I get asked that question a lot. The last time I commented on it here was in response to a letter by Ian Moore in Issue #232. Here's what I said then: ``There is a very active Lovecraft society that holds regular meetings at his gravesite in Swan Point Cemetery (I have visited the grave - nice place, not creepy like his horror books at all), but it doesn't have a huge following. I met one of the organizers of this group and she is about what you would expect if you've met any of the people who are science-fiction/horror/fantasy fans - a bit wacky but good-hearted. The press and general public in Providence give general due to the Lovecraft society meetings (not making fun of them or calling them a cult), but most people probably have never read his books and don't think a whit about it.'' To add a bit... you might be aware that Providence hosted NecronomiCon 5 at the Providence Marriott a few blocks from my house last summer that brought Lovecraft fans from all over the world (I didn't go, but I ``saw'' that it was here). As you probably are aware it celebrates Lovecraft's August 20th birthday every other year. I noted that they did NOT take the whole convention to Lovecraft's gravesite. Probably a deal with Swan Point Cemetery, who I think could live down the cult of Cthulhu..... they did have something called a Cthulhu prayer breakfast if I recall the local media coverage correctly though. I don't think they tried to pronounce it though..... but let's not get started on THAT debate.... I'm terrible with phonetics.))


2000G, Lawyers not wanted, Fall 1909

Austria Bob Osuch ROsuch4082 of

A BOHEMIA support A Tyrolia - Munich, F TRIESTE - Adriatic , A RUMANIA hold A Tyrolia - MUNICH, A Armenia - SMYRNA, A SERBIA sup A Albania - Trieste, A ALBANIA - Trieste, A GREECE hold, F EAST MEDITERRANEAN - Aegean A Galicia - VIENNA

France Paul Rauterberg trauterberg of

F KIEL - Holland, F ENGLISH CHANNEL - London, A RUHR - Kiel A PIEDMONT support Italian A Venice, F MID ATLANTIC - English Channel, A munich (dislodged) support A Ruhr - Kiel, F BELGIUM - Holland,

Italy Jim Burgess burgess of

F TYRRHENIAN SEA support F Tunis - Ionian Sea, F IONIAN SEA - Aegean Sea, A VENICE support French A Piedmont, F TUNIS - Ionian, A PORTUGAL hold, F APULIA - Adriatic Sea

Russia Brendan Mooney bkmooney of BrendanM of

F NORTH SEA convoy A Norway - London, A PRUSSIA support A Berlin, A Warsaw - UKRAINE, A Ukraine - SEVESTOPOL, A NORWAY - London A MOSCOW support A Warsaw - Ukraine, F Norwegian sea - NORTH ATLANTIC, F North Atlantic - IRISH SEA, A Livonia - DENMARK, A BERLIN hold, F BALTIC SEA convoy A Livonia - Denmark

Winter 1909 Orders due, Thursday, February 28th, 2002

Spring 1910 Orders are due, March 20th

Winter 1909 supply center chart

Austria 11 + 1 took Munich; Smyrna, Contantinople, Vienna, Budapest, Greece, Serbia, Bulgaria, Ankara, Trieste, Rumania, Munich

France 7 even (+1 if retreat off board) Lost Munich, took Kiel; Brest, Paris, London, Belgium, Marseilles, Holland, Kiel

Italy 6 even; Rome, Naples, Venice, Tunis, Spain, Portugal

Russia 10 - 1 Lost Kiel; Berlin, St. Petersburg, Sevastopol, Sweden, Denmark, Warsaw, Norway, Liverpool, Moscow, Edinburgh

Russ Rusnak 1551 High Ridge Parkway Westchester, Il 60154 GM 708 409-0718 RRRRRUSNAK of

Bob Osuch 19137 Midland Ave. Mokena, Il. 60448 AUSTRIA 708 478-3885 ROsuch4082 of

Bruce Linsey PO Box 234 Kinderhook, NY 12106 ENGLAND GonzoHQ of

Paul Rauterberg 3116 W. Amer. Dr. Greenfield, WI 53221 FRANCE 414-691-4264 trauterberg of

Mike Barno 634 Dawson Hill Road Spencer, NY 14883 GERMANY 607 589-4906 mpbarno of

Jim Burgess 664 Smith Street Providence, RI 02908 ITALY 401 351-0287 burgess of

Brendan Mooney bkmooney of BrendanM of RUSSIA

((A couple of players in this game have been forwarding around this bad lawyers joke, but DON'T believe it is true for one instant. I searched around and there is no Criminal Lawyers Award Contest and if there was, this award was never given for it. But we are going to keep making fun of lawyers until seven of them step up to play the Lawyers Game! And some of you will get a laugh or two.))

For those of you who have had to endure the slime side of law:

A Charlotte NC lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost ``in a series of small fires."

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued....and won!

In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous; however, the judge stated that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be ``unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the ``fires."


After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine.

This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest. ((Reminder: no, it really isn't, but it's a funny joke anyway, and anything that will make the Lawyers start their game here goes as far as I am concerned.))


``So I called up George and he called up Jim, I said let's make a deal.

He said he'd talk to him. Gonna start a church where you can save yourself,

You can make some noise, When you've got no choice...

You told me useful things, what people think of me, I guess I should thank you.

It's true, then I agree... I'm all alone, I've got no choice,

I'm all alone, I've got no choice."

From ``Got No Choice" by the incomparable Mark Cutler, from the CD Mark Cutler and Useful Things.

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904.

Thanks to a suggestion by Mike Barno, from now on I will be noting cut or failed support orders with a small ``s'' instead of a capital ``S''. This will make it easier on the web page version of the szine to see what happened, since the italics don't show there. I may forget every once in a while, but I will TRY to remember. I should also get an updated copy of my translation program for TeX to html, perhaps that has been fixed.

Standby lists:

Bruce Linsey, Mike Barno, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Paul Rauterberg, Bob Acheson, Heath Gardner, Phil Reynolds, Paul Kenny, Dan Gorham, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy.

Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Phil Reynolds, Jim Sayers, and Kurt Ozog stand by for the Modern Diplomacy game.

Harold Reynolds stands by for Colonia. Help, more are needed for this game, maps are provided for free by me.... or by Harold Reynolds just ask.

Let me know if you want on or off these lists, especially OFF. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks.


LAWYERS GAME: Steve Koehler, Stephen Agar and Steve Emmert already have signed up. We're searching for lawyers, contact me if you have any leads! We've invited Thomas Libby and Edwin Turnage but they have turned us down. Plus I'm still looking for a current address for Mark Franceschini. Official standby for the game is David Hood. HELP!!! Will this ever begin?? You lawyers are going to have to scour the depths of the sewers.... i.e. the courtrooms and law offices of the world... and find me some lawyers to play this game, before the NO lawyers game finishes!

Eric Ozog has cancelled the Air-Sea Diplomacy opening, at least for now. Buddy is going to organize a ``sample game'' I think. I do have a copy of the rules as well and I will print them when the sample game starts.

John Harrington is offering to guest GM a game of Office Politics. Any interest in that?? Let me or John know! Jody McCullough is still interested, anyone else?

Also, I am going to design some postal rules for Devil Take the Hindmost, and Chris Lockheardt is pulling out of that opening too, so I need three players. Eoghan Barry is signed up. Postal rules from me will be forthcoming shortly, on my never ending to-do list. I will get them in SOON!

Right now, the other thing I am contemplating getting going is the Modern Diplomacy game with Wings. Rick Desper is the only one signed up for that.

Stephen Agar runs a British Diplomacy mailing list and has a new broader web postal gaming web site too at:

and if you are interested, contact Stephen Agar at stephen of or join the Brit hobby mailing list at (aw, you guessed it, another new address):

I CAN'T FIND MY MONEY!: 2001F, Regular Diplomacy



Fall 1901

AUSTRIA (Lockheardt): a SER S a alb-gre, a vie-GAL, f alb-GRE.

ENGLAND (Heikkinen): f nth-BEL, f NWG C a edi-nwy, a edi-NWY.

FRANCE (Mitchell): f mid-POR, a SPA h, a BUR S ITALIAN a tyo-mun.

GERMANY (Sayers): f den-SWE, a kie-HOL, a RUH S ENGLISH f nth-bel.

ITALY (Méhkeri): f ION C a apu-tun, a tyo-MUN, a apu-TUN.


f SEV h.

TURKEY (Miller): f ank-BLA, a BUL h, a smy-ARM.

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Lockheardt): TRI,BUD,VIE,ser,gre (has 3, bld 2)
ENGLAND (Heikkinen): LON,LVP,EDI,nwy,bel (has 3, bld 2)
FRANCE (Mitchell): BRE,PAR,MAR,spa,por (has 3, bld 2)
GERMANY (Sayers): BER,KIE,swe,hol (has 3, bld 1)
ITALY (Méhkeri): ROM,VEN,NAP,tun,mun (has 3, bld 2)
RUSSIA (Phillips): MOS,STP,WAR,SEV (has 4, even)
TURKEY (Miller): ANK,SMY,CON,bul (has 3, bld 1)
Neutral: den,rum (Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Chris Lockheardt, 47 Acton Street, Maynard, MA 01754, +1 978-897-1547

clockheardt of

ENGLAND: Allan Heikkinen, P.O. Box 372, Killara, N.S.W. 2071, AUSTRALIA

aheikkin of

FRANCE: Adam Mitchell, 19 Hollin Park Place, Leeds, West Yorkshire, LS8 2NS, GREAT BRITAIN,

044 113 2650752 or + 01144 from US, heather.taylor of (yes, that's really his)

GERMANY: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA

jimp of

ITALY: Dan Méhkeri, 24 DeQuincy Blvd, North York, Ontario, M3H 1Y5, CANADA, +1 416-631-0492

fool of

RUSSIA: CW Phillips, 27 George St., Dudley MA 01571, +1 508-949-3424

pahtzerwannabe of

RUSSIA: Standby is Rick Desper, 319 West Side Dr., #102 Gaithersburg, MD 20878

(301) 977-7691, rick_desper of

TURKEY: Tim Miller, 5454 South Shore Drive, Apt. 222, Chicago, IL 60615, +1 773-834-4597

btmiller of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, +1 401-351-0287

burgess of

Game Notes:

1) I'm going to hope and plead that Rick Desper will standby for CW Phillips. I had a unique reaction to my NMR insurance phone call to CW. He said, ``just a minute'' and then proceeded to hang up on me. Oh well, I doubt he is choosing to come back, but I do send him this last issue anyway. If he would like to return, submission of preliminary Spring 1902 orders by the Winter 1901 deadline is required. Sorry to the rest of you, many of whom are not familiar with NMR games, but that's what happens.


(Some excerpts from the song after which the game SHOULD HAVE BEEN named): ``Fools," said I, ``you do not know! Silence like a cancer grows! Hear my words that I might teach you! Take my arms that I might reach you..." But my words like silent raindrops fell, and echoed in the wells of silence.

(BARON to FELLOW NEOPHYTES): Boy, we suck at this. Only Fool and I sent press in the spring, and nobody sent any summer press. ((That's for damned sure..... check out the Deny Everything subszine and cringe!)) Apparently there is some Dip-wide conspiracy to bankrupt the Archbishop's printing budget by writing reams and reams of nonsensical nonsense-gratuitous parodies of ``The Raven," gruesome vignettes of tiny men perpetually diving into spitoons, vicious ``Adam and Eve" allegories-that we are failing by being so closemouthed. Well, I refuse to let the movement down! I am going to quit my job, lock myself in the attic, and pen a hilarious ``Dip" version of ``A Rememberance of Things Past." Somebody please enter orders for me while I'm gone. ((So, is THAT what happened to CW?))

(BARON to THE MOVEMENT): My loyalty is already being rewarded! Stephen Agar reprinted the quote I posted on rgd in the latest issue of ``Armistice Day." I am somebody! ((WOW, that's never happened to ME....))

(BARON to THE COWARDLY POPE): Wimp . . . writing ``Not for Terrorism" on the INSIDE. Can you believe my wife immediately guessed what my envelope symbol stood for? I hope the postal authorities weren't as clever or else you probably received a very bleachy-smelling letter.

(BARON to THE TIN KING): Mouth rusted shut by the English rain?

(BARON to TSAR DOROTHY): Click those heels and come home! If you can't write me, I'm only a twenty-dollar cab ride away.

(BARON to SULTAN SCARECROW): How can you be smart enough to construct a rating system from scratch but too dumb to figure out how that metal box with the red flag on the short pole works? ((I really could see Tim as a scarecrow.... I didn't know you'd met him before!!!))

(BARON to THE WIZARD OF MUNICH): Who do you want me to throw a bucket of water on this season?

(BARON to THE LE LOLLIPOP GUILDE): I have nothing to make fun of you about, but I hated to let a good bit die.

SOMETHING TO BE SCARED OF: 2001D, Regular Diplomacy



Fall 1903

AUSTRIA (Kent): a BUD s a vie-tri, a VIE-tri.

ENGLAND (Sundstrom): f ENG S a bel, f NTH-hol, a BEL s f nth-hol,

f ska-NWY, f MID C FRENCH a por-gas.

FRANCE (Tretick): f MAR-gol, a MUN-kie, a por-GAS, f SPA(SC) s f mar-gol, a gas-PAR.

GERMANY (Williams): a KIE s f den, f BAL S f den, a SIL-mun,

f DEN s RUSSIAN f swe-ska (nso), a RUH-bel, a HOL s a ruh-bel.

ITALY (McCullough): f TYH-gol, f ion-TUN, a ven-TRI, f WES-spa(sc).

RUSSIA (McHugh): a mos-WAR, f SWE s ENGLISH f ska-den (nso), a RUM-bud,

a war-GAL, f SEV-rum.

TURKEY (Goesle): a GRE S a ser, a BUL S a ser, f AEG h,

a SER S ITALIAN a ven-tri, f bla-CON, a ALB S ITALIAN a ven-tri.

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Kent): VIE,BUD (has 2, even)
ENGLAND (Sundstrom): EDI,LVP,LON,nwy,bre,bel (has 5, bld 1)
FRANCE (Tretick): PAR,MAR,spa,por,mun (has 5, even)
GERMANY (Williams): BER,KIE,den,hol (has 6, rem 2)
ITALY (McCullough): ROM,VEN,NAP,tun,tri (has 4, bld 1)
RUSSIA (McHugh): MOS,STP,SEV,WAR,rum,swe (has 5, bld 1)
TURKEY (Goesle): ANK,SMY,CON,bul,gre,ser (has 6, even)
Neutral: none (Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Doug Kent, 1404 E. Lamar Blvd #106, Arlington, TX 76011

dipworld of

ENGLAND: Matt Sundstrom, 1760 Robincrest Lane South, Glenview, IL 60025, (847) 729-1882 ($5)

Matt.Sundstrom of

FRANCE: James Alan (Jim) Tretick, 13267 Coppermill Drive, Herndon, VA 20171, (703) 713-1328 ($4)

JTretickGames of

GERMANY: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (661) 297-3947 ($4)

wllmsfmly of

ITALY: Jody McCullough, 1071 Brown Avenue, Lafayette, CA 94549-3153

jodymc of

RUSSIA: Jack McHugh, P.O. Box 427, Claymont, DE 19703, (302) 792-1998

flapjack48 of

TURKEY: Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235

gozcorp of

Game Notes:

1) Note Doug Kent and Jack McHugh have some new address info. Warren Goesle also is planning to move soon.

2) Thanks for the stellar effort on the press this season!


(EDINBURGH-PR MACHINE HIGH ATOP CONSTANTINOPLE): Your propaganda department is enviable. Lesson learned. No more passes from me on summer press releases.

(AUSTRIA - TURKEY): If anything, I am spiteful..oh, and ugly...and irritating...and lousy in bed...

(TSAR JACK-KAISER SACKIEPOO): How come you're such a loser??? Every time I come into a game with you, you're getting your ass kicked??? Don't you work and play well with others???? Look here's the plan, give me a dot and I'll let you live in comfortable exile in the Crimea, maybe I'll even get you a nice Ukraine woman to help you forget your throne.

(TURKEY to RUSSIA): You'll have to do at least a *little* better than that Tsar. Write often and let me know what your fears are, and please listen to mine.

(EDINBURGH-CON/PARIS): Let's see...Germany has France you a despised dog, Turkey some kind of ``toady" and Italy ``the gentleman who spoke the other day". I think I'd like England too. We provide nice cruises in the Atlantic too.

(TSAR JACK-PRESIDENT JIM: You know I've always depended on the kindness of strangers (usually got screwed for it too.)

(ITALY to FRANCE): A Gas-Bre, right? Or wait.... A Por-Bre via MAO.... that'd be good.

(TSAR JACK-KAISER DUCKY): You don't call or write, you move armies and fleets against me. You know I'm starting to think you don't love me anymore. I'll have you know that nice King Matt in England has been writing me regularly. If you don't talk to me I may have to look elsewhere for love and affection < sniff, sniff > . I bet Auntie Victoria would be so disappointed in you.

(CHICAGO CALLING): I was actually in Munich last month, and it looked like the French garrison has things very much under control. A good time had by all at the Hofbrauhaus. Scratchy video at 11.

(TSAR JACK-KING JODY): I know Sultan Goz likes you better but I'm not sure I'm ready for a threesome yet. Why don't we all meet for coffee and discuss this like civilized adults? (We can be animals later < nudge, nudge > .)

(TURKEY to ITALY): You'll have to talk a bit more too. If I've supported the right move I'll be mildly surprised.

(EDINBURGH-MOSCOW): hitting Norway now made too much sense to me and I'm sure Goz asked you to do that in exchange for dubious favors to be named later. Paranoia sets in, next thing I know I'm heading to Oslo. Hope I'm wrong.

(TSAR JACK-KING MATT): You know I'm not big on England being allied with Russia and the French. Its not good for the long term you know. The French are underneath, undersized navy and under Gibralter, they always end up looking better to you English types. I mean, we Russians are exotic and a lot of fun but you always end up taking Frenchie home to mum and we're just a smile on your face that the wife just doesn't understand.

But since the Kaiser Ducky won't talk to me, I'll have to take my chances with you and just hope I can prove my undying love for you-unlike the French we don't believe in fooling around. We ally for life.....well not life but at least a much better offer. We don't jump at the first offer, unlike some other countries I could name.

(AUSTRIA - RUSSIA): I love you sweet cheeks.


(TSAR JACK-SULTAN GOZ): I wrote you twice and I replaced my foreign minister with an e-mail server so you can stop whining about me in the press. I also don't feel as loved as Italy, I have abandonment issues so I expect a nice Hallmark card to soothe my feelings. I may be cheap but I'm not easy. Or vice-versa, I often get them confused.

(GOZ to THE BOARD): At the ripe old age of 43 I've decided, for the first time, to get married on March 23rd. Besides a new wife, I'm moving, and getting a new job, and quite frankly I don't know where I'm going. So if I appear a little non-communicative, don't give up. PLEASE don't give up! I'll let everyone know what the new address and email is when I know it.

FANTASTIC VOYAGE: 1999K, Regular Diplomacy


Winter 1907

AUSTRIA (Rauterberg): has a TRI, a VEN, a TYO, a TUS, f ROM, a VIE.

ENGLAND (Biehl): has f ENG, f GOL, f TUN, f TYH, a BEL.

GERMANY (Shreve): has a SIL, a MUN, a UKR, a BOH, a PIE, a PRU, f MID, a SPA, a BUR.

ITALY (Tallman): has a POR.

RUSSIA (Tretick): has a STP, a LVN, a MOS, f WES, a WAR.

TURKEY (Acheson): bld f ank, a smy; has f ANK, a SMY, f ION, a APU, f NAP, a SEV,

a RUM, f AEG.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

trauterberg of

ENGLAND: John Biehl, 8809 Delwood Drive, Delta, BRITISH COLUMBIA, V4C 4A1 CANADA,

(604) 589-9124 ($8); jeen of

FRANCE: Rick Davis, 2420 West Avenue, Santa Rosa, CA 95407, (707) 544-5201,

redavis914 of

GERMANY: Dwayne Shreve, 739 Union Church Road, Elkton, MD 21921 ($5)

dwayneshreve of

ITALY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0384 ($2)

terryt of

RUSSIA: Buddy Tretick, 9607 Conaty Circle, Spotsylvania, VA 22553, (540) 582-2356 (E-Mail)

bernietretick of

TURKEY: Bob Acheson, 807-556 Laurier Av., Ottawa, ONTARIO K1R 7X2, CANADA

racheson of

Game Notes:

1) The draw proposal situation is clear at the moment.

2) We're back on track with our replacement. Thanks to Bob Acheson and best wishes for a full recovery!


(ACHESON AS TURKEY): Jim, my apologies for not attending to this (think that I have an somewhat acceptable excuse) I had double lung surgery on Jan 31st (to remove a bit of the big C from both). I was released yesterday and have noted your e-mail. I should have sent you a quick note before I went in, but was wrapped up in other activities.

(JIM-BOB to BOB): You don't need to apologize to me! I need to apologize to you!! Hope things keep improving and you are able to stick with this.

(VIENNASTANOPLE: BEDFELLOWS PRESS): The windows were open all the night long. A wisp of a breeze passed over and between the bedfellows of Viennastanople. When the clock struck midnight, both bedfellows stirred. One whispered into the other's ears, ``Isn't it my turn?" The other bellowed, ``Not on your life, it is most definitely my turn!" Fingers began to scratch. Hissing was heard deep in the covers. The neighborhood was awakened by a loud fight amongst' the bedfellows by the loud cry, ``No, Damn it! I said it is my turn to screw you and not the other way around!" Since bedfellows sound so much alike, the neighbors did not know which bedfellow was screwing whom!

(BUCKINGHAM PALACE APR 1, 1908): A Royal Proclamation by his Majesty Saint Edward VII (scantified by the grace [and plenty of payola] of his holiness Pope Terence I surprised many [but not Edward], ``I hereby announce the bethrothal of my virgin [?] daughter, Princess Gertrude, to the Czar of Russia, Nicholas II. I trust the sacrifice of my adorable [?] daughter upon the alter to Russian manhood [?] [we hear Nick the prick is a russian in, a russian out kinda guy], will in time, produce an heir to the throne, as comely[?] as the parents." This announcement was greeted with much murmuring and not a few loud guffaws and snickers from the assemmbled courtiers. ``This is not a laughing matter!" shouted Edward, scowling, ``this is important. This joins our two royal families in holy matrimony." The courtiers immediately fell silent not wishing to further offend their king [nor risk losing their courtly perks]. The face of the Lord Great Chamberlain was grim. ``Your Saintliness, may I have a private audience with you on this extremely auspicious[?] declaration?" ``Why, of course, let us retire to my study, the rest of you are dismissed." Edward glared at the assembled throng and then he turned and strode out of the throne room, the Lord Great Chamberlain following closely behind.

Once the pair were in Edward's study, the Lord Great [how did the great get in there?] Chamberlain, Sir Ian Laffinstock of Shaftsbury and Butt, admonished the King, ``Your Sanctifiedness, I fear this proposed bethrothal is ill-omened." ``Why do you say that, Lord Laffingstock?" ``Sire, I believe there is a problem of 'size' here. Your, err, gorgeous daughter, Princess Gertrrude, is so 'big', err, so tall too and there is a problem here as the Czar is, well, he is reported to be so short and very small also." ``Nonsense", replied the King, ``I am sure all this is exaggerated." [you can be sure of that] ``I am afraid not, your Majestic Saintliness, the Czar is reported to be even shorter than 5'2" which is, err, your 'proud' height." ``I am sure you are mistaken, Laffingstock, Nicholas is always telling me how big he is in relation to his palace guards. Did you know he has a full regiment of female soldiers as his personal guard. Nicky tells me they are all over 6' tall and very statuesque besides. I am sure the Czar must be very `tall' so Gertrude's `proportions' which are very ample will turn out to be a good match. I had a vision of this [shocking] union while I was praying for an inspiration to guide the affairs [?] of our great state [of confusion]" Sir Ian Laffingstock of Shaftsbury and Butt, Lord Great Chamber`lain' [or is that `layed'] could only roll his eyes and acquiesce in the `divinely' inspired opinion of his sovereign.

((Indeed, I can't wait to see how THIS one turns out....))

(Sometimes I Feel Like) FLETCHER CHRISTIAN: 1999Cgh013, Colonia VIIb Diplomacy


Pre-Spring 1759















OTTOMAN (Schleinkofer): a BAGHDAD,


RUSSIA (Rauterberg): f GOA,













Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Prosnitz): BUD,VIE,TRI,TAH,pps,sav, (has 19)
CHINA (Acheson): PEK,WUH,XIA,AMO,tib,NAN, (has 19)
ENGLAND (Power): NIG,EDI,LON,kam,ire,gab,sum, (has 27)
OTTOMAN (Schleinkofer): IZM,BAG,oms,jer,persia (has 5)
RUSSIA (Rauterberg): MOS,KIE,CAP,STP,CRI,pol,moz, (has 28)
SPAIN (Partridge): MAD,MEX,SOM,VAL,MANILA, (has 37)
Neutral: none (Total=136)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Gene Prosnitz, 2600 Netherland Ave., Apt. 1116, Riverdale, NY 10463, (718) 601-8131 ($5)

ProsnitzE of

CHINA: Bob Acheson, 807-556 Laurier Ave., Ottawa, ONTARIO K1R 7X2, CANADA ($5)

racheson of

ENGLAND: John Power, 18 Tilton Court, Baltimore, MD 21236, (410) 933-8827 ($4)

natjohn2 of or jrpower of

FRANCE: Hank Alme, 506 Paige Loop, Los Alamos, NM 87544

almehj of

OTTOMAN: Art Schleinkofer, 3120 Holly Road, Philadelphia, PA 19154-1708

Krolart of

PORTUGAL: Robert Stimmel, Apt. #57, Casa de Sherry Apts., 2462 North Sycamore Blvd.,

Tucson, AZ 85712-2541, (520) 326-8369 ($5)

RUSSIA: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

trauterberg of

SPAIN: Dave Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033

rebhuhn of

Game Notes:

1) See elsewhere for Bob Acheson's comment, but with both Bob and Gene being ill this month, I thought a delay was advisable. I hope Gene will be able to continue, if not, I remind people that I need standbys for this game desperately!!! See my exchange with Gene below....



Hi Jim,

To Dave, Paul, and Jim: Thanks for the good wishes re. my health. I had a brain tumor, the surgeon said he could not remove everything. Now they have to do radiation treatment, starting next week. That's done by applying the radiation to the head.

Recovery from the surgery is tough. It's difficult to walk without being unsteady and staggering... Gene Prosnitz

((The magic of how those radiation machines work is one of the most brilliant in the history of medicine. In the early days, they worked like the X-Ray machine in the Dentist's office with a single beam and they basically did huge damage since they could not be focused. Then, a brilliant young doctor figured out that if you built a circular device that focused many, many low power beams on the center of the circle, you could get a huge amount of focused energy there without doing damage elsewhere. Good luck. I've heard people tell that story in ways that make you cry. Here is one of those versions, my favorite because of the potential Diplomacy context....

Here is the challenge. You have machine that can deliver radiation via an intense beam through the skin to destroy cancerous tumors in underlying organs and tissues. The overlying skin and normal surrounding tissues are much more sensitive to radiation than the tumor such that small doses of radiation can damage the skin but will not destroy the tumor. If one were to deliver the necessary dose of radiation to eradicate the tumor, one would also seriously damage the overlying skin in the path of the beam. So how would you deliver enough radiation to eradicate a cancerous tumor located below the skin (say in the abdomen) without harming the normal overlying skin and tissue directly in the path of the radiation beam?

This challenge was posed to college students who had little or no medical knowledge and no knowledge of radiation therapy. For the most part, they all failed to come up with the solution when left to struggle on their own to develop a solution to the problem. In a second group of comparable students, they were first provided with a seemingly context-free story about a battle over a kingdom. The kingdom under siege was an important center of commerce and trade situated at the center or hub of a number of roads that radiated out from the city like spokes from a wheel (all roads led to this great kingdom). These centripetally radiating roads were the only access to the kingdom. The roads were defended to varying degrees by an army that could never be sure of the direction of an attack. The strategy of the defenders was to mobilize and concentrate their a rmed forces on a particular road at the first sign of attack (assuming that the attacker was concentrating its full force against the kingdom from one direction). To make things even more challenging, the defenders also did not have a real good way to determine the size of the attacking force. But due to the lay of the land and the way the narrow roads choke off the forward charge of attackers, it would be difficult for even a larger more powerful attacking force to overpower a defending force concentrated on one road. The question posed to the students was what strategies would you consider as leader of the attacking army to overpower the kingdom? What would you do?

Most students see an advantage in distributing their force to attack down each and every road leading into the city. The defenders cannot adequately defend all roads simultaneously. In response to the attack, the defenders will first concentrate most of their forces on one road-assuming this to be the major assault. The defenders will have a difficult time estimating the concentration of the attacking force and the battle over the single road that they decide to defend with the bulk of their force will be pretty much a stalemate. At the same time, smaller attacking forces are sure to make their way down less defended or undefended roads, quickly assembling a gathering army (coming all kinds of directions) at the very center of the kingdom. By distributing the attacking force down a number of roads all at once, the aggressor has ensured the best chance of delivering a concentrated fighting force directly into the center of the kingdom.

What do you figure happened when these students (primed with this seemingly context-free metaphor) were handed the radiation therapy problem? The majority figured out a way to solve the problem-deliver small doses of radiation (less than the amount that would damage the overlying skin) centripetally from a number of directions such that t he accumulating radiation dose arriving at the tumor (center of the kingdom) is strong enough to destroy the tumor.))

SECRETS: 1999D, Regular Diplomacy



Fall 1909

ENGLAND (Sayers): a bel-GAS, f NAO S f mid, a KIE S FRENCH a mun, f MID C a bel-gas,

f ENG C a bel-gas, f HEL s FRENCH a kie (nsu), f POR S FRENCH f spa(sc).

FRANCE (Sasseville): f MAR h, f SPA(SC) S f mar, a MUN h, a BUR S a mun.

GERMANY (Barno): a tyo-VIE.

RUSSIA (Reynolds): a MOS s a war, a war s a ber-sil (d r:lvn,otb),

a ber-SIL, f bal-BER, a STP S a mos, a PRU S a war.

TURKEY (Linsey): f aeg-ION, a rum-BUD, a UKR S a sil-war, f tun-WES, a SEV-mos,

f TYH S f tun-wes, f bla-CON, a sil-WAR, a TRI S a ven-tyo, f NAF S f tun-wes,

f ion-TUN, f TUS S f gol, a PIE-mar, f GOL S a pie-mar, a GAL S a sil-war, a ven-TYO.

Supply Center Chart

ENGLAND (Sayers): LON,LVP,EDI,bre,por,bel,kie (has 7, even)
FRANCE (Sasseville): PAR,MAR,spa,mun (has 4, even)
GERMANY (Barno): hol,vie (has 1, even(PLAYS ONE SHORT))
RUSSIA (Reynolds): MOS,STP,nwy,swe,den,ber (has 5 or 6, even(PLAYS ONE SHORT
if r:otb))
TURKEY (Linsey): ANK,SMY,CON,gre,rum,bul,ser, (has 16, rem 1)
Neutral: none (Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

ENGLAND: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA ($10)

jimp of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 481-4280 ($0)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

GERMANY: Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883

mpbarno of or mbarno of

ITALY: John Schultz, 120 Pine Drive, Unit H, Porter, IN 46304, (219) 614-1406

probo of

RUSSIA: Phil Reynolds, 2896 Oak Street, Sarasota, FL 34237, (813) 953-6952

preyno of

TURKEY: Bruce Linsey, PO Box 234, Kinderhook, NY 12106

GonzoHQ of

Game Notes:

1) No proposals and everything on track.... looks like we have a bit more moving around to do.


(JIM SAYERS): Bruce, I'm sure our Generalissimo Reynolds would accept any reasonable offer which would avoid a stalemate.

EDWARD TELLER: 2002?rn42, Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy - Black Hole Variant


Winter 1900

AUSTRIA (Schultz): has f TRI, a VIE, a BUD, and five nukes.

ENGLAND (Rauterberg): has f LON, f EDI, a LVP, and five nukes.

FRANCE (Muller): has f BRE, a PAR, a MAR, and five nukes.

GERMANY (Andruschak): has f KIE, a BER, a MUN, and five nukes.

ITALY (Kendter): has f NAP, a ROM, a VEN, and five nukes.

RUSSIA (McHugh): has f STP(SC), a MOS, a WAR, f SEV, and four nukes.

TURKEY (Kenny): has f ANK, a CON, a SMY, and five nukes.

Current Standings

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 TOTAL

JOHN SCHULTZ                     
PAUL RAUTERBERG                     
KARL MULLER                     
HARRY ANDRUSCHAK                     
LEE KENDTER, JR.                     
JACK MCHUGH                     
SANDY KENNY                     
Black Holed                     

Total 34 34 34 34 34 34 34 238

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: John Schultz, 120 Pine Drive, Unit H, Porter, IN 46304, (219) 614-1406

probo of

ENGLAND: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339

trauterberg of

FRANCE: Karl Muller, 75-17 60 Place, Glendale, NY 11385-6044, (718) 416-1103

karlmuller of or pegandkarl of

GERMANY: Harry Andruschak, 20805 Margaret, Carson, CA 90745-1224, (310) 835-9202

harryandruschak of

ITALY: Lee Kendter, Jr., 1503 Pilgrim Lane, Quakertown, PA 18951

lkendter of

RUSSIA: Jack McHugh, P.O. Box 427, Claymont, DE 19703, (302) 792-8659

ckent7479 of or JMcHugh of

TURKEY: Sandy Kenny, 23 East Coulter Avenue, Collingswood, NJ 08108-1208 (609) 869-3160

pdkenny of

Game Notes:

1) I'm printing the rules ONE more time, since some players seem to be confused about the definition of ``fully''.... fully means fully, especially with respect to nuclear weapons..... in all, everyone gets to fire 34 nukes throughout the length of the game, just precisely the number of supply centers on the board in each of the seven game years. Since this has been discussed before, what that means is that a perfect tie of 0-0-0-0-0-0-0 is possible if all 34 SC's are taken out in each of the seven game years. Many of you seem to think that you have to save nukes.... but no, FIRE AWAY!!! Unless superceded below, all rules are as in regular Diplomacy.

2) The game lasts seven game years (measured Winter to Winter, 1901 to 1907), with each player rotating through the powers in alphabetical order (AEFGIRT), playing each power for one game year. At the end of each game year, the game board and positions are fully reset to the initial positions.

3) Initial Positions: All units and supply center ownership are as in regular Diplomacy, except that each player has five nuclear weapons (except for Russia which has only four nuclear weapons).

4) Firing Nuclear Weapons: Each nuclear weapon (nuke) is fired at a specific province (land or sea) according to orders submitted by their owners immediately FOLLOWING the Spring moves (nuke orders are submitted with those moves and cannot be made conditional on any outcomes or moves in the Spring turn). Nuclear weapon strikes destroy the supply center in the targeted province, if any, as well as any units in that province following the Spring turn.

5) Effects of Nuclear Weapons (Black Hole Variant): The effects of the nuclear weapon strike are equivalent to those in the Black Hole variant designed by Conrad von Metzke (Conrad is the unofficial ombudsman for adjudication of paradoxes caused by this rule). Any provinces adjacent to a nuke strike province are now themselves adjacent. The effect of nuke strikes on adjacent provinces creates a cumulative effect such that all provinces adjacent to an a contiguous string of nuke strike provinces are all simultaneously adjacent. This effect applies to moves, supports, retreats, and convoys. Coastal provinces that are nuked transmit their coastal status to all adjacent provinces, which also is cumulative in effect. These coastal status changes do not interfere with any army supports, retreats, or moves between two land provinces separated by a contiguous string of nuke strike provinces.

6) Victory Conditions: The game ends at the end of the seventh winter adjustment season. Victory points are garnered by cumulatively adding supply centers owned at the end of each of the seven game years. The player with the most victory points at the end of the game wins. Ties are broken by sequentially comparing victory points owned in 1907 followed by each preceding year. Players earning precisely the same number of victory points in each of the seven game years remain tied.


(HARRY ANDRUSCHAK-GM): Instead of Spring 1901, shouldn't it be Spring 2001? ((Put simply, no...)) In any case, the BIGGEST change in my life has been the introduction of two cats. Earlier this year, the secretary of my Wednesday night AA meeting announced that another alcoholic lady, 5 years sober, had terminal liver cancer and was expected to die in April or May. This lady had SEVEN cats, all strays she had rescued at one time or another. New homes were needed for these seven cats. I talked with Mary, my therapist/counselor, and she said I was ready for this new responsibility. The idea was that I would take in two cats after I came back from the CORFLU 19 Science Fiction Fanzine Faans Convention. (Yes, ``faans", not ``fans". There is a reason for this, much like your insistence on ``szine".) ((I certainly understand that, how do YOU pronounce Cthulhu?))

In any case, the lady died unexpectedly on Sunday 3 February. The rescue mission got underway. I was given Pearly and Tyler. Pearly is a female American Sort hair (perhaps) about 13 years old (maybe). Tyler is a 7 year old (maybe) male who is at least half Maine Coon. Both have been castrated, of course. (I use ``castrated" in its older, unisex meaning.) They arrived at my house on Tuesday 5 February. Both promptly went into hiding. As of Friday 22 February, both are still in hiding. They do come out at night to eat the food I have put out, drink the water, and use the litter trays.

Of course, I have been asking for advice. I am in 3 Internet newsgroups:

(alt.callahans,, and rec.arts.sf.fandom)

as well as The Eunuch Archives, and everyone has said more or less the same thing. Do not try to force the cats. Let them be and adjust to their new home at their own pace. So that is what I have been trying to do. But it gets frustrating at times.

(GERMANY-WORLD): Of course, nukes dropped on Berlin, Kiel, or Munich will be noted and responded to. Leave me alone, please.

COME AND HAVE A GO (If You Think You're Hard Enough): 1998V, Diplomacy

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Mark Kinney, 4820 Westmar Terrace #6, Louisville, KY 40222,

(502) 412-3079; alberich of

ENGLAND: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0384 ($3)

terryt of

FRANCE: Scott Morris, 12110 Shelbyville Rd., Louisville, KY 40243, (502) 893-8260 ($5)

Scottm221 of

GERMANY: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA ($10)

jimp of

ITALY: Steve Emmert, 3317 Hershridge Road, Virginia Beach, VA 23452

(757) 631-1842; steve.emmert of or lsemmert of

RUSSIA: Phil Reynolds, 2896 Oak Street, Sarasota, FL 34237, (813) 953-6952

preyno of

TURKEY: Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883 ($5)

mpbarno of

Game Notes:

1) Those of you with balances (dollar figures in parentheses above) should let me know what they want done with their NMR insurance left over. Default is that it gets applied to your subscriptions (if you're in another game it will be added to that balance).


1998V Endgame Statement for TURKEY (Mike Barno)

I knew when I signed up for this game three-point-something years ago that I would hate writing this endgame statement. That part proved correct. I saw two of my old Yellowstone buddies signed up for this opening; another game was ending so I had more free time than good sense, and I jumped in.

Kent Pollard and Scott Munson were both fun for playing Titan with elk-covered mountains out the window. I had never played Diplomacy with either, though, because we never had seven players at once. Randy Ellis had taught them Dip in more detail than they'd seen from my zines (and this szine, sigh). I figured they would have proper adventurous spirit and it would keep us in touch now that we were farflung. It would feel like an afternoon at the coffeeshop where Kent worked.

For a nice perverse set of options, the initial draw gave Italy, Austria, and Turkey to the three of us with a mutual face-to-face history. We managed to work out an I-A-T initial alliance, while the west didn't appear to break quickly. (The French endgame statement explained the first reason why not.) Surely Doc (Munson) was chuckling over a beer while Kent was maniacally blithering heroic and vaguely Germanically accented noises of glory. Italy put a fleet through the Atlantic and took English resources. All was well with Europe. A player change in Russia had no big impact.

Then Randy went visiting Kent and Doc. Stirred 'em up. Incited 'em against me. Suddenly Austria-Hungary declared a great jihad against Turkey, despite no greater Ottoman offense than cooperating fully in an effective alliance. Faced with a choice and Austrian momentum, Italy joined Austria and came for Turkish centers. Kent cackled madly over a bottle of single-malt whiskey. I had good relations with powers on the far side of the board, but none could spare units to attack my attackers. Besieged, I held out for many gameyears.

Finally Kent left too much open at home, and Doc made a solid stab in 1907 to go from 9 to 12 centers, dropping Austria from 8 to 5. After that, Scott was my hero for trashing the madman who irrationally attacked me. But he quit! He promptly resigned after pulling off the coup that might win him his first ever postal game. Moving to a new city and trying to find a new job made Dip without e-mail too inconvenient for him.

Steve Emmert was given the Italian position as France was finally cleaning up English and German centers. Steve's a nice guy, but no way could he be allowed to drop in and waltz to a win without even working for it. As Doc stabbed Austria, he left enough open that France could score a big stab in 1908, going from 10 to 14 dots. Scott Morris saw the Golden Eighteen. He could grab more centers: could he get enough to win?

After five or six straight gameyears of attacking me, Kent finally asked me for help and offered mutual supports. After several straight seasons of attacking me, Steve finally asked me for help (needing another army to hold a Russian stalemate against France) and offered survival. Where were these people when I needed sensible neighbors? Oh well, maybe I could get a survival or force a draw or determine the game's winner if any.

I didn't fail to notice that Italy positioned units to clean me out from my ostensibly allied position. And then Kent got distracted and resigned with his last units along the potential stalemate front. His replacement didn't negotiate. Mr. Emmert, Esq., the player with most at stake (loss vs. good chance to draw, slight chance to win), failed to persuade Mark Kinney to submit stalemate-enhancing orders. There was a way that those two could have forced a three-way draw (with Italy taking me out) had I not interfered. Austria (though not the new Austrian) had stabbed me then attacked me most of the game; Italy (including the new Italian) had attacked me much of the game; but France had been a friendly power on the far side of the board all game. Lazy half-fast zine-quitter Scott Morris actually got off the ball (his hemorrhoid surgery was helpful) and outnegotiated Steve in the final push. I decided Steve wasn't gonna get Russia to coordinate moves since Mark was nonresponsive, so my order probably wouldn't matter, but if Mark was writing Steve but not me, it meant they were conspiring for the aforementioned three-way so I should m*ss it up. I ordered accordingly.

It didn't matter. Steve didn't zero me [oops - oh well], Mark didn't write stop-France orders, Russia got zeroed, and France won. I got as good a result as the countries who stabbed me and destroyed my country's chances. I got a better result than three powers including Phil's tenacious but unhelpful Russia. And I outlasted the Yellowstoners (including Randy who has once again resigned from his games), as usual. Bunch of stonedrunken loonies. Ain't none of 'em outhiked me in recent years either.

Congratulations to that carnie-barker and carnie-clown Scott Morris for his full-game 18-center victory. Thanks to everyone else who started the game or took replacement positions. And a big thanks to Jim Burgess for more years of excellent publishing and good GMing. This was fun.

((You're quite welcome, I had fun too.... and speaking of OUR rat bastards, even though I was being insulting, my demand for an endgame statement from Scott Munson generated THIS, transcribed loosely from my answering machine... at least it sounded like Scott Munson, he never really accurately identified himself.))

Original Italy - Scott Munson

Hey Jim, I don't know what to say, I don't know what to say... It must be pretty wild when the most stable person you know publishes a szine. ((Presumably referring to himself and who HE knows.... and that IS scary!)) Take care of yourself. ((Hey, yourself! We miss you, if you give me a postal address, I'd be glad to wing this your way. I'm not sure how you even knew I was asking about you.... but don't be like that! Pass it on....))

SO GOOD IT HURTS: 1998 P, Regular Diplomacy

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Kurt Ozog, 391 Wilmington Drive, Bartlett, IL 60103, (630) 837-2813

heyday6 of

ENGLAND: Drew James, 3644 Whispering Woods Terr., Baldwinsville, NY 13027, (315) 652-1956 ($5)

kjames01 of

FRANCE: Mark Kinney, 4820 Westmar Terrace #6, Louisville, KY 40222, (502) 412-3079

alberich of

GERMANY: Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235 ($5)

gozcorp of

ITALY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($5)

trauterberg of

RUSSIA: Russ Rusnak, 1551 Highridge Avenue, Westchester, IL 60154-3428 ($5)


TURKEY: Steve Emmert, 3317 Hershridge Road, Virginia Beach, VA 23452, ($4)

steve.emmert of

So Good It Hurts - End of Game Statement - England

I think I sent you an email awhile back saying you could stop my subscription for awhile. I've enjoyed TAP and the games very much, but I need to spend my time on other things for awhile. Keep the $5.00 or whatever credit you think I might have. Thanks for for doing a great job with the games and giving me somewhere to write about New Order and Joy Division. I trust you have ``Get Ready" by now. ((Actually, I don't. See my Joy Division comments above.))

If Goz is demanding a statement, I'm sure not going to argue with him. Afterall he outnumbers me 14 to 1! I'll do whatever he says.

This game was fairly straightforward for me. I negotiated at the outset for an E/G alliance against France and I decided that I was going to chance all and not hold anything back. I attacked the Channel on the first move and trusted that Germany would be with me. Fortunately, Goz watched my back (all too closely it turned out) and we made excellent progress against France for the first few years and in '03 I was sitting pretty with 8 dots.

I had decided that I would honor the German alliance throughout the game and paid the price. My problem wasn't in trusting Germany, but in making it too profitable for Goz to stab me in the back. I allowed a stab to become more beneficial than the alliance. I was too focused on expanding into the Med.

After the knife was in my back, I simply tried to hang on. I had to abandon my homeland (and any hope of ever growing again) in order to survive as long as I did.

I enjoyed playing in this game very much. Thanks in particular to Goz and Steve for making it fun. Also a big thanks to Mark for taking over a lousy French position. My only complaint is that there was too much MLB press. I can't believe anyone cares about baseball anymore. It has become totally uninteresting - it is fun to cheer against the Yankees, but other than that... We needed much more press on college hoops and more lawyer jokes.

Thanks again. Drew

EMBRACING THE CONSTRAINTS: Breaking Away, Designer's Rules


Turn 7

81 (replenish with a 3):Alice(10)

-S-P-R-I-N-T- -F-I-N-I-S-H- -L-I-N-E-

80 (replenish with a 4): Rhombus
79 (replenish with a 5): Christie, Prescott
78 (no replenishment): None
77 (no replenishment): None
76 (no replenishment): None
75 (no replenishment): None
74 (no replenishment): None
73 (no replenishment): None
72 (no replenishment): None
71 (no replenishment): None
70 (no replenishment): None
69 (replenish with a 3): Beaver
68 (no replenishment): None
67 (replenish with a 3): Charlie Brown
66 (replenish with a 4): Dennis the Menace
65 (no replenishment): None
64 (replenish with a 3): Halbert, Rectangle
63 (replenish with a 5): Alfalfa
62 (replenish with a 6): Square
61 (replenish with a 7): Sir Isaac Newton
60 (no replenishment): None
59 (no replenishment): None
58 (replenish with a 3): Boniface
57 (replenish with a 4): Diamond
56 (replenish with a 5): I.K. Brunel, Enfield, Greenwich
55 (replenish with a 7): William Shakespeare, Dana
54 (replenish with a 9): Alfred the Great, Edi the Emu, Dave the Tinamou,
Peery the Peacock, Brandon the Kiwi

Addresses of the Participants - Their Team and Their Cards

TEAM 1 (The Quabbin Reservoirs): Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02492

(0 points) 72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

A: Dana 16 14 8 7 (9)
B: Enfield 18 22 5 (3)
C: Greenwich 15 3 5 (7)
D: Prescott 3 6 5 (22)

TEAM 2 (The Flightless Birds): Rick Desper, 319 West Side Dr., #102 Gaithersburg, MD 20878

(18 points) (301) 977-7691, rick_desper of

Coached by Petey the Penguin
A: Edi the Emu 3 3 8 9 (3)
B: Dave the Tinamou 7 3 9 (5)
C: Brandon the Kiwi 12 12 9 (7)
D: Peery the Peacock 7 10 9 (6)

TEAM 3 (The Brit Pack): John Harrington, 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex, EN1 3UW UK

(19 points) fiendish of, John.Harrington of

A: Alfred the Great 12 6 8 9 (3)
B: William Shakespeare 10 6 7 (3)
C: Sir Isaac Newton 3 3 7 (17)
D: Isambard Kingdom Brunel 5 3 5 (3)

TEAM 4 (The Border Riders): Tom Howell, 365 Storm King Road, Port Angeles, WA 98363

(10 points) off-the-shelf of

Manager: the White Maid
A: Alice of Avenel 14 18 4 3 (23)
B: abbot Boniface 9 14 3 (6)
C: Christie of Clint-hill 15 6 5 (22)
D: Halbert Glendinning 22 8 3 (13)

TEAM 5 (The Quadrilaterals): David Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033

(2 points) rebhuhn of

A: Rhombus 9 5 3 4 (21)
B: Square 17 5 6 (4)
C: Rectangle 3 16 3 (8)
D: Diamond 3 3 4 (17)

TEAM 6 (The Bad Boys): Jim Tretick, 13267 Coppermill Drive, Herndon, VA 20171, (703) 713-1328

(0 points) JTretickGames of

A: Alfalfa: 8 8 5 (17)
B: Beaver: 9 8 3 (18)
C: Charlie Brown: 7 3 3 (18)
D: Dennis the Menace: 12 3 4 (13)

Game Notes:

1) I am going BACK to the designer rules for Breaking Away that allow cards of greater than 15 to be replenished. The Breaking Away bonus is earned only on the FIRST turn that you break away from the pack. I printed the original postal rules in Issue #239, if you need a copy and don't have that issue, just ask.

2) The number in parentheses is what you played, the last card in your list is the one you replenished with.


(ALICE - DANA): Was that 17 BIG enough? How's this 23? How are you betting on next turn? Where do I place my bets?

(PRESCOTT-ALICE): Hey! Wait for me!

(ALICE - EDI): Any fool could have predicted that play. The $64 question is, ``When are those Bad Boys gonna score?"

(WHITE MAID - ERIC AND RICK): Your riders aren't conspiring are they? Or is that just synergistic press?

(BOOB to WHITE MAID): People are conspiring against ME in the game in Tinamou, why shouldn't people conspire against YOU here, you devil you.....

(ERIC BROSIUS): Competitive figure skating has always seemed to me a lot like professional wrestling for the tonier set. The recent controversy fits right into the pattern. It's amazing how much surprise the media is managing to express all of the sudden.

(BOOB to ERIC): Indeed. Looking even at the scoring judge by judge in the Women's Singles that everyone grants they got ``right'' shows how only the American judge ranked the top five skaters in the order in which they actually finished. And some of the other scores (like the Russian judge rated Sarah Hughes fourth!) seemed intended to create ranking differences that were ``desired''. A new system just will generate new controversies. Though the ``random" seven approach (I've also urged randomness in Diplomacy scoring systems as worthwhile to consider) should address some of the issues, it surely will just make people even MORE outrageous in their scoring which will make the outcome less predictable, but not less ``fair'', whatever that is.

FEAR AND WHISKEY: 1998Ers31, Modern Diplomacy


Winter 2007

BRITAIN (Schultz): bld a edi; has a EDI, f ENG, a MUR, f DEN, f SWE,

a STP, f BRN, f GOB, f NTH.

EGYPT (J. O'Donnell): has f LIB, f LBS, f ION, a SYR, a APU, a IRK, f IZM.

GERMANY (Rauterberg): bld a fra, a mun, PLAYS TWO SHORT; has a FRA, a MUN,

f GDA, f BER, f LIT, f BIS, a AUS, a LYO, f BEL, a CZE, a SIL, a MIL,

f HAM, a SWI.

ITALY (Ozog): R a mar otb; rem a tus; has f MON.

SPAIN (S. O'Donnell): bld f sve, a bar; has f SVE, a BAR, a POR, a NAV, f MAO,

f LIG, f NAP, a ROM, f TYS, a MAR.

UKRAINE (Partridge): rem a rum; has a VOL, a CRP, a POD, a ANK,

f WBS, f IST, a MOS, a SLO, a WAR, f ALB, a VEN, a ADA, a URA,

a PRU, a HUN, a BIE, f GRE, a LAT, f ADR, a IRN, a CRO.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: John Schultz, 120 Pine Drive, Unit H, Porter, IN 46304, (219) 614-1406

probo of

EGYPT: Jeff O'Donnell, 402 Middle Ave., Elyria, OH 44035-5728, (440) 322-2920

or (440) 225-9203 (cell) ($3)

FRANCE: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202 ($5)

Tapmdfrance of

GERMANY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

trauterberg of

ITALY: Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138, (360) 691-4264 ($3)

ElfEric of

POLAND: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 481-4280 ($5)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

RUSSIA: Randy Ellis, 3116 McGee, Apt. 1N, Kansas City, MO 64111, (816) 931-8406

surfeit of

SPAIN: Sean O'Donnell, 1044 Wellfleet Drive, Grafton, OH 44044 ($5)

sean_o_donnell of, sfo25 of

TURKEY: Kent Pollard, 1541 W. San Jose, Fresno, CA 93711, (209) 225-0957 ($10)

UKRAINE: Dave Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033 ($8)

rebhuhn of

Game Notes:

1) The Modern Dip web page at: currently is on hiatus. I'll try to remember to let you know when it returns.

2) I'm going to start a quiet interest list down here in the next Modern game. I don't want to start it until this game is done or nearly done, but with ten players it may take awhile, so I'll start now. Rick Desper is in to be one of the players. Any more??? We are going to do it with ``wings''..... makes me think of the old song ``Numbers with Wings'' by the Bongos!!! ``I know I'll live through eveything, but I cry, I'll cry about anything; and on cold nights, my soul is like anyone's; and on slow nights; well, I'd forgive anyone! I've got a number with wings!!!'' By the way, Richard Barone (lead of the Bongos) is well known for having people say about him: ``I don't care HOW many sequins you were, you can never upstage Barone.'' (from the song ``Sequins in Excelsis Deo''). Too bad Richard hasn't released any new material recently!!! His solo records from the late 80's and early 90's are treasures, and yes, I saw him live in sequins during that period.


(THE MEKONS QUOTE OF THE MONTH): ``Mmmmmmm-Hummmmmm, I'm a dreamin' cowboy.'' as the plaintive cry of the incomparably humming Sally Timms on her record Cowboy Sally Twilight Laments for Lost Buckaroos. And if this isn't a crowd of lost buckaroos, I don't know what is! The song's name is, of course, ``Dreamin' Cowboy". Of course, it is about a rodeo rider from a shack on the Rio Grande who leaves the circuit and drowns his sorrows dreamin' on a barstool. Time to get off the barstool and back in the game, boys! Yeeeeee-haahahaha!!!

(BOOB to WORLD): Play the game how you want, I'm just havin' some fun.

Personal Note to You:

File translated from TEX by TTH, version 3.05.
On 4 Mar 2002, 17:07.