September 23, 2000

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287

Accessible through Internet at burgess of; FAX to (401) 277-9904

Yes, there is another delay. I won't bother everyone with all the details, suffice it to say that it was mostly due to a balky laptop screen at an inopportune time and lots of real life work. The next issue of Diplomacy World is on schedule and that was NOT a cause of the delay, if anyone was wondering ;-) I have pushed the deadlines for the next issue back to October 7th. I will be able to finish the next issue over the long weekend, so get your orders in for next time quickly. Sorry about the tight deadline, but most of you should have a handle for what is needed for that deadline already. I'm sure I forgot to include some things in here that should be in here. Please feel free to remind me of those for next issue!

The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada, a bargain at twice the price.... but you can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). This will finally be going up soon as the amount I lose on every paid subscription rises. Get your resubs in now and then I'll go up by 50% later this year. Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and future game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $20.00 ($15.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). NOTE: See the new game start announcements below! BUT, I really won't start any more until the Modern game ends (then I will start another Modern with the Wing rule). Some other options are out there. Mark Kinney is trying to get his dipszine going again (one game is already filled), but he may have other openings. Mark is looking for standbys too. Contact Mark NOW at 4820 Westmar Terrace #6, Louisville, KY 40222, (502) 412-3079; alberich of and get on his subscription list. I'm in the game and you CAN'T miss watching ME play.... there or somewhere else. Another new szine is out there: Tim Haffey's ``Who Do You Trust?'' He's going to publish monthly at $1.50 an issue, just another example of why I really must raise my own rates, I'm subsidizing too much. You can E-Mail Tim at: trhaffey of or trhaffey of and send subs to: Timothy R. Haffey, Sr., 810 53rd Ave., Oakland, CA 94601.

Check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch with all of the information you need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at:

Through Stephen Agar's (who is still in charge here) Postal portion of the Pouch:

the szine resides in html format. Presently, issues from #190 to the current issue are there, and I will be updating the back issues gradually someday. Also, check out Stephen's more extensive efforts at (note the new address):

The most recent issue of TAP also can be accessed through Pete Sullivan's web page and very occasionally David Wang's:

1) David has grabbed and reserved the HIGHLY prized name:!! David Wang's site also allows you to follow (VERY, VERY badly) John Caruso's postal baseball league that I am in. John and Kathy Caruso are now up on E-Mail and if David doesn't get off his butt soon and start updating the page more frequently, John probably will go invent his own web page. This is a problem at the present time....

2) For the most recent issue of Pete Sullivan's subszine check out (this address will be changing shortly):

Pete is looking for Railway Rivals standbys, but otherwise, he is full with games at the moment.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!!


Come on, I know we have some BIG Gregory Stewart fans around here. Even some reminiscences about Mr. Stewart's infamous press style would be nice. Fifty bucks for finding him before the deadline for issue 240. A rumor exists that someone DOES know where he is, but nothing from Gregory yet.... check in next issue for a further update.

Or feel free to spend the time looking for some of the backlog. Let's get Kevin, Al, and Jerry found too!!! Note that Brenton Ver Ploeg would love to find Leslie Obata, the woman that Jerry Lucas used as his front too. This could be an easy way toward finding Jerry, though as Brenton notes, who is to say she has the same name now. This is a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Jerry Lucas or Al Pearson is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, finance a web page, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for.

This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.


The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 3UW, UK.

E-Mail: fiendish of or johnh of

Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally or in GBP to John if you're doing things from that end. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse. There has been some interest in finding a new Australian representative. Should someone Down Under have an interest, or from anywhere else in the world, please contact me. We have added a European continental representative, most of this traffic likely will occur between Ronald Camstra (in the Netherlands) and John Harrington, but if anyone here in the US wants to get money into guilders or then into other continental currencies, we'll try to help you out. Ronald Camstra can be contacted at siedler of and his home address is: Wielingenplein 48, 3522 PE Utrecht, the Netherlands. But in Holland it is most common not to send checks but to transfer money by bank. Dutch people can pay directly to Postbankaccount 4652247 of Ronald Camstra in Utrecht. Since he can see the name and address of the sender in his bankreceipt, people only have to mention the name of the zine and the editorial address along with their bank order. Ronald is obviously a huge Settlers of Catan fan. If you're interested in playing that game internationally by mail, I think Ronald can help you out.

WORLDMASTERS00 SECTION (with letters AND a game!!)

Worldmasters 2000 Email Diplomacy Tournament Begins!!

``The World Masters Email Diplomacy Championship has become a primary event on the Dip Calendar (last year's was the LARGEST ever Diplomacy event in the world with 553 players and 79 teams!!)"

Worldmasters2000 is now ready to start accepting players. Get together with seven friends and form a team, or enter as an individual.

The main WWW site for Worldmasters will link you to automated signup forms, news, history, rules and help answer your questions.

This can be found at

Sign up for the conference board at worldmasters2000

The Conference board is where day to day communications and discussions will take place.

We have a special fund raising effort under way to take advantage of the free $5 signup that Paypals is giving out to new accounts. It is limited to US residents at this time. If we can get a few hundred people to sign up we can get a nice fund set up to cover the postage for sending prizes all over the world. WM Home link above will guide you to the proper explanations.

Worldmasters 1999 had 553 players on 79 teams. We are well into the semi final round of 49 players and hope to start the final board with seven sharks on or about October 1st. Follow the action from the WM99 Finals page.

the old web site with semi-final payer info is at

Against my better judgment, I'm letting a pack of hoodlums into the szine..... Some Diplomacy whackos can't wait for the new Worldmasters tournament to start (LAST CHANCE TO JOIN IS NOW!!! DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!!!) and have been boasting on the ``Boasters!" discussion group at the 2000 tournament site that they can stop Toby Harris (as no one in the 1999 tournament, yours truly included, has been able to do). Well, they needed a forum to prove it, and I have provided it. Watch Toby Harris pull another rabbit out of his hat..... this game will run at faster E-Mail speed and be summarized here. Feel free to follow it more in real time on the Worldmasters 2000 Web Site address above in the Boasters! section.

``Watch it, I'm in a ((really)) bad mood.'' Toshiro Mifune as Sanjuro in the movie of the same name.

M2000 Boasters!, Worldmasters2000 Time Wasters Diplomacy


Spring 1901

AUSTRIA (O'Donnchu): f tri-ALB, a vie-BUD, a bud-SER.

ENGLAND (Setzer): f lon-NTH, f edi-NWG, a lvp-YOR.

FRANCE (Pérez): f bre-MID, a MAR S a par-bur, a par-BUR.

GERMANY (Mehaffey): f kie-DEN, a ber-KIE, a MUN-tyo.

ITALY (Dennehy): f nap-ION, a ROM-ven, a VEN-tyo.

RUSSIA (Harris): f STP(SC)-mos (imp), f SEV-mos (imp), a mos-MOS, a WAR-mos.

TURKEY (Miszti): a smy-ARM, a con-bul, f ank-CON.

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (O'Donnchu): BUD,TRI,VIE (has 3)
ENGLAND (Setzer): LON,LVP,EDI (has 3)
FRANCE (Pérez): BRE,PAR,MAR (has 3)
GERMANY (Mehaffey): BER,KIE,MUN (has 3)
ITALY (Dennehy): ROM,VEN,NAP (has 3)
RUSSIA (Harris): MOS,STP,WAR,SEV (has 4)
TURKEY (Miszti): ANK,SMY,CON (has 3)
Neutral: bel,spa,por,bul,rum,den,hol,ser (Total=34)

Addresses of the Players

AUSTRIA: Fearghal O'Donnchu, fearghal.odonnchu of

ENGLAND: Ray Setzer, mczet of

FRANCE: Niclas Pérez, perez of

GERMANY: Mike Mehaffey, mehaffey of

ITALY: Brian Dennehy, brian.dennehy of

RUSSIA: Toby Harris, Toby.Harris of

TURKEY: Emeric Miszti, emeric of

Game Notes:

1) I'll be posting results to the ``Boasting'' page on the WorldMasters 2000 site.

2) Let me know if you have questions about adjudication notes. Units always end up in the place where I have capitalized. Italicized orders (which you only can see in the HTML) fail of execution for some reason or another. When some git tries a move that is technically impossible, I use (imp) to note it. I also use abbreviations like (nso) for no such order (when attempting supports) and the like. Most of these should be obvious, ask if they aren't.

3) A bit of a slow start with press, but I'm sure that will change and you may be using the web page for press as well. My comments in the press appear in (( ... )) and are also italicized (in the HTML).

4) Amazingly and in the interest of fair play, Toby gets ONE extra unit to start. Since you all are going to twist his nuts, why not give him an extra nut to add to the pain..... this was entirely random, I assure you!

5) That's about it for now. We're in for a bit of a ride, methinks.


(RUSSIA - ALL): ``I hereby declare this opening the ``Rasputin" opening .... because Rasputin screwed Russia up just as much as this around about the same era." ((Fascinating how the Rasputinal personality of yours casts all sorts of shadows across the board. Stunning.... hyork, hyork, hyork!!))

(TWERG): Wow, that fella is convincing. Jim-Bob I can see why you did what you did in M9925. Guys, you'd better get saddled up and ready to whip my ass into line 'cos I can see myself becoming Twerg-Boob before long ..... ((So YOU are the one who caved on those wacky Russian moves.... hyork, hyork, hyork!))

(FRANCE-RUSSIA): Was that all you could come up with??? ;) ((No, he could come up with lots more, don't encourage him!))

(FRANCE-ITALY): Nice doggy, sit! nice doggy ((That wouldn't have something to do with some insider knowledge on another player's moves, would it? Nahhh, couldn't be....))

(FRANCE-AUSTRIA): I have changed my mind...Warzaw is mine ok? ((Right....))

(FRANCE-FRANCE): Miiiiiine all miiiiiiine ((Any votes on the concession to Niclas? That'll do it. You guys should have lots to talk about this week, I'd say.))

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

The game Diplomacy is a copyrighted product owned by Hasbro and all reproductions or other use of that material in this szine is intended to be personal use and not infringe on those rights in any way. All reproductions are done at a heavy financial loss to the editor and thus are without the remotest possibility of commercial intent, except to promote THE game, the Game of Diplomacy, which you all should purchase from Hasbro or other duly licensed distributors.

Check out the new Diplomacy World -

We are still trying to sort out the old subscription information and so I will tell everyone more about that yet one more issue after next..... But go look at the new issue there now. It HAS been released as of World DipCon. Why haven't YOU seen it??

David Partridge (Tue, 15 Aug 2000 13:23:07 -0700 (PDT))

Greetings all,

A month and a half ought to get you over WDC, and it's time to play Dip again! If you're anywhere near the Boston area (or would like to be) come on by and join us for the 14th running of Diplomatic Incident. Lots of Diplomacy and other gaming, a fun housecon setting and a good time for all. If you publish, then I'd appreciate your spreading the word if you have an issue coming out before the end of September. If you want to come but need crash space, drop me a line and we'll work something out.

Directions are below:

Contact: Dave Partridge rebhuhn of 603-886-1400 x212

Date: September 30, October 1, 2000; we start around 11AM each day!

Location: 12 Yarmouth St, Boston, MA

Nearest T: BackBay Station on the Orange line or Copley Square Station on the Green line.

From either: Exit the station to Dartmouth St. Walk to Columbus St. (1/2 block to the left from BackBay Station, or 2 blocks past the Copley Plaza Hotel from Copley Square Station). Go right on Columbus St. Make the next right onto Yarmouth St. We're mid way down the block on the left.

Parking: Good luck. There are several garages in the square block bounded by Dartmouth St., St. James St., Clarendon St. and Columbus Ave. (BackBay Station is inside that block, for those of you without a map :-)) All are expensive, but not as bad as a ticket and tow by Boston's Finest. The garage at Copley Place Mall (St. James & Exeter, beneath the Marriott Hotel) is only a block further away and the shops inside the mall validate. To get to the games, just wander around inside the Mall until you find the ``Dartmouth St/ BackBay Station" exit - its at the Neiman Marcus end. If you can't figure things out from there, you shouldn't be playing Diplomacy...

Dave, rebhuhn of

Chris Trent (Sat, 02 Sep 2000 04:35:22 PDT)


A few things...

First, I've been hearing a lot (much via TAP) about the World DipCon in Baltimore. I did not attend because a) I'm poor and b) I counted myself as a super-newbie-novice-wannabe and thus quite out-of-place at such a huge gathering. I've since then been promoted, moved and begun to get a bit more involved with this hobby. (i.e. The DRAGON, a sub-zine of ABSOLUTE!). I've also noted the first issue of DIPLOMACY WORLD online which I thought was fantastic. I intend to harass Scott Morris until he takes a look at MY variants! Anywho, the point is this: I'm interested in saving up to attend World DipCon 2001 or 2002 (or both!) and I haven't been all that successful at finding info on either. If there are websites, addresses, etc. that I can contact to get basic info on these events I'm sure you'll have them before anyone else. I'm a young, idealist little punk looking to make an impact. If the Hobby has use for me I'm here. ((I will provide that information as it becomes available. You can always check out the Diplomatic Corps ( or currently their FTF Tournament Schedule is at:

The 2001 World DipCon is in Paris, July 27-29, and many hobbyists will be gathering in London to travel there by train. I have not decided for sure if I am going, but if I do (since I will be in England just before that) I shall join that trek and I would urge all Americans and English speakers going to do so.

There is a really neat site already up for the 2002 World DipCon in Australia too:

How's that for info??))

Secondly, I would like the opportunity to say SHAME to your readership for the stalled interest in Star Trek Diplomacy. I grabbed up the Ferengi because I've been looking for a chance to prove their true dominance over lesser-lobed races like the Cardassians. (New Rule of Acquisition: Never trust a Cardassian. Never, never, never, never...) To those last three potential players I'd like to make a blanket offer to not attack you at all during the first turn. Now you have no reason not to sign up! You're practically guaranteed victory (under me)! ((Thanks for the push, if I don't get some more interest soon, I'm going to have to drop it and return your money, Chris, you're the only one who paid so far...))

Many thanks, Mr. Burgess!

Chris, Chrisimaus98 of

P.S. Keep an eye on ``Secrets." I predict big action in the coming year... (Hint, hint, Stan.)

((You're lucky I let you have ANY secrets with that ``Mr. Burgess'' stuff, and if you're going to BE like that, I must insist it be Dr. Jim-Bob as I do have a Ph.D., you know.... we'll see, won't we.))

James Alan Tretick (Tue, 1 Aug 2000 19:54:55 EDT)

Jim, I've been following The Abyssinian Prince for a few years now, since Jim wrote me and wondering if Bernie Tretick could be found. I told him I'd call my dad and ask him if he'd like to be found. Well, he did. And as they say, ``the rest is history." Or, I guess history is being rewritten again (or still). And, a comment on Harry Andruschak's ramblings about Kathy Caruso. I flirted in person with Kathy Caruso face-to-face 20 PLUS years ago when I was a teenager. Then, she promptly turned around and stabbed my Ass. And she knew what she was doing. Well, I'm thinking about jumping back into the hobby. Who wants a piece of me first? And for the record, no one ever wrote any orders for me, or vice versa.

Cheers, Jim Tretick (aka James Alan), JTreti of

((And equally for the record, as we opposed each other in games many times back in that 20 plus years ago period, I never thought anything else but that. Welcome back, no problem with you lurking around and I hope you will come back and join in somehow. As another piece of my continuing service to the hobby in keeping people informed about the whereabouts of ex-Dippers, we have the infamous Massachusetts Burma Law case guru Simon Billenness....))

Simon Billenness (Mon, 11 Sep 2000 12:44:19 -0400)

#14: Reasons to be Cheerful, Part 2 - September 11, 2000

I have moved and settled in to my new apartment. The new address is: 171 South Street, Apt. A-16, Jamaica Plain, MA 02130, new home/cell phone #: (617) 596-6158.

The new place is a one-bedroom in an apartment building. It's a couple of blocks to the Forest Hills T-stop so if I jump on a commuter rail train at 8.50am, I'm at my office at South Station just after 9am. I'm also a couple of blocks from the Harvest Coop - a fact that may help me make my daily diet a little healthier.

It's a relief to be back in my own place. I spent August in the third floor (read attic) of my old building sharing a bathroom and kitchen with my landlady on the second floor. (Meanwhile, my old first floor apartment was rented out to a new couple.) I am glad that I'm now dealing with a faceless bureaucracy instead of a flaky landlady.


Comments on the 1999 year in music are still welcome.

The tape thing has become a CD thing and still going very slowly. I need some uninterrupted time to do it.... I think I'll end up doing this over the Christmas vacation this year. I am leaning toward a five dollar fee, so the people I've chosen below for five dollar awards automatically get them for free. There are a few other selected individuals who've been sending me tapes and CD's and things who also will get them for free. For now, I'm going to stop reprinting all the rest of the header stuff each issue. The way I do things, I was sticking it in my face so I noticed it and kept it on my to-do list, but obviously it was way too repetitive. Thanks VERY much to Paul Rauterberg who has given me a whole bunch of info that will be invaluable in converting songs from vinyl records to CD.

Mark Larzelere (Mon, 11 Sep 2000 19:18:32 EDT)

It was cool to find an email message from Allan B. Calhamer in my mailbox. By the way, is selling his book for $17.10, and they have a nice review of it by Conrad von Metzke.

Great issue, with all that stuff about Dipcon, Survivor and the shocking news about Robert Sacks. I was a late convert to Survivor, missing the first month of it until all the hype (and your comment that it was of interest to Dippers) made me decide that resistance was futile. It was a better show than I expected, and I'm going to see the shows I missed the first time.

It seems most of the contestants didn't realize that this was a Diplomacy game, and so they were sitting ducks for Richard's alliance. Most of the activity on the island seemed to center around the challenges, and perhaps they considered those to be the heart of the game. My theory is that losing a challenge is something akin to being passed a calamity in the board game Civilization - a nuisance, but it doesn't have a big impact on who the eventual winner is. How many challenges did Richard or Rudy win? True, winning challenges almost won the game for Kelly, but only after she won the last four immunity challenges, which shouldn't happen often.

Most people didn't expect Richard to win, mainly because it seemed he'd stepped on too many toes to win the final vote, and that people would vote for Rudy. But he came up with a brilliant way of dumping Rudy without losing his vote: by throwing the last immunity challenge. He counted on Kelly to have the sense to see she'd have a better chance against him than Rudy. If Kelly hadn't won all those challenges, Sue would have been in the last 3 instead of Kelly, and the same strategy should have worked. Richard should have been able to throw the last challenge to Sue, since she'd have more stamina than Rudy regardless of what the challenge was. I have to wonder how early in the game Richard came up with this idea of intentionally losing the last immunity challenge.

Mark, Mlarz of

((He says now that he was thinking about that quite early. With his type of ego, one has to wonder how much of that to believe, but he did say it (he is local to me in Rhode Island). He did lose at least one other immunity challenge that I observed on purpose.))

Phil Reynolds (Sat, 9 Sep 2000 19:14:20 -0700 (PDT))

Jim - I don't recall seeing anything in your last issue about Zine Register #29. I hope you will mention, at the very least, that it is published and available for $2, and that samples from the Zine Bank can be had for $3. ((See ad in this issue....))

Re: ``Survivor," I loved the show and was amazed Rich won - not because I thought he was a slimeball or anything such, but I thought there would be enough resentment of him among those who had been voted out that there was no way he would capture enough votes to win.

I'm not surprised that Colleen, Jenna and Gervase voted against him, or that Rudy voted for him. It surprised me a little that Sean voted for him, despite Sean inviting Rich aboard the yacht - I thought Sean would have been turned off by Rich's machinations with the allinace and turning the experience into something that wasn't fun (for laid-back Sean).

And I never thought Sue would hold such a grudge against Kelly, as I recalled Sue saying early on that she wanted to eliminate Rich at the very end and spoil his tremendous effort. In the end, I think her take was like some of us Diplomacy players: The person we hate more in a game is the person we thought was our ally and who turned on us, rather than the guy who attacked us from the start.

As for Greg, I'm not sure that his ``pick a number" routine was real - he might have wanted to vote for Rich, due to something that came out of their conversations when the two tribes merged) but didn't want to let on to everyone that he consciously picked Rich, and so he made his choice seem as arbitrary as Sean's ``alphabetical strategy."

So three cheers for Rich for masterminding a game-winning strategy, including playing people along the way to assure himself of being one of the two finalists. But I think, once the last vote was held, that he had to be the most scared at any time of failing. No guts, no glory, is what I always say!

Phil Reynolds,preyno of

John Harrington

Jim, Caught a little bit of an electoral address by a surprisingly animated Al Gore on CNN yesterday. I can't remember his exact words but it went something along the lines of ``the USA is the greatest country in the world, always has been, always will be". Good rabble-rousing stuff even if the ``always will be" claim is a bit hyperbolic! Is Gore claiming his Presidency would so utterly transform the USA that for the rest of eternity it would be immune to the sort of slump that eventually overtook the Greeks, the Romans and the Britons? Or is his plan to make good on his pledge by eliminating all the other countries so the USA is number one in a field of one? ((I kinda understand Gore, since I am sometimes plagued by his ``overstating runneth at the mouth" disease, though I try to keep it curbed. Don Williams recently reminded me that I am failing at it again occasionally. It is this sort of thing that gets him wrongly quoted as saying that he invented the Internet. But to your point, we might NEED something like this to deal with all of the growth in power and influence of multi-national corporations, but I doubt he would achieve the rest of it, even if he tried.))

Daft of me, I know, to pay too much attention to a mere sound-bite but this national supremacy line always rankles me whether it comes from German Nazis, smug Brits, Japanese imperialists or whoever. ((Ditto, I try to get most of my international news from foreign sources, which seems to help a lot.))

Looks like we'll be having our own election next year and doubtless we'll be subjected to a similar sort of nationalist tub-thumping. The realisation that Britain no longer has an empire has dawned on even the most right wing politician so our version of Gore's line goes something like ``We may not be great but by God every other nation on earth is worse than us". It may just be my perception but it seems that whilst Americans talk their own worth up, the Brits talk everybody else's down. End of horrible generalisation.

I am considering a career as a High Court judge. ((So, are you a lawyer too? ;-) If you were, you could join the lawyer game.))

It is widely considered to be one of the prerequisites of the job to be completely out of touch with popular culture and as I seem to be the only person in Britain not to have watched (the UK version of) Big Brother I qualify on at least one count. Thanks to your detailed coverage of Survivor I actually know more about that show than I do Big Brother. Hell, I even know that the US has its own version of Big Brother and that it is floundering in the ratings. ((Worse than that, it's a total disaster. I caught 30 seconds of it the other night and they had brought back IN someone they had kicked out of the house for a ``visit''. Their biggest problem is that all of the interesting people leave. Obnoxious. Richard Hatch the other day caught himself in the middle of saying that Big Brother was real crap next to Survivor! and added, ``hey, I guess that is the same network, I don't want to say any more about it''.))

Regards, John Harrington, johnh of,

Mike Barno (Sun, 03 Sep 2000 13:28:41 -0400)

Nothing in TAP 236 changes my opinion that the only people who need to ``get a life" more than we Diplomacy players (who at least are DOING something, albeit irrelevant) are Survivor fans. ((I suppose you don't like watching Dip games (postal or FTF either, eh?). I do (part of why I like GMing).))

Actually I do. Postally I watch games mainly so I'll appreciate the press better. Some players can be very interesting and funny writers when motivated by a game's interaction, so I'd probably read Dip game's press even if I didn't like Dip. Face-to-face, it depends partly on who the players are. At the World Championships, I slept in one morning and came to the con site around noon. When I wasn't playing something else I walked around the Dip boards a bit, but mostly sat around and read the newspaper. Even when excellent players are involved, the slow rate of board development in FTF means I don't stay interested unless people with whom I have a long postal or convention history are in dynamic situations.

((But you aren't far off and certainly I enjoy playing Dip far more than I enjoy watching Survivor.))

I am reassured. I consider Survivor contestants in the same range as Big Brother contestants, and Diplomacy players far different. I don't know if a televised-Diplomacy fan base would be heavier with Survivor-fan priorities or Dip-player attitudes.

So when will the Pouch archive page or include a JimBobWebCam video feed? It'd be incredible in a Dip tournament. It'd be incredibly awful at certain other times. And you'd have to censor the picture when drinking mint juleps with Steve Emmert or doing anything else with his face in view.

((What's with the crack about Emmert?? You're now in the Amateur Division game against his Professional Division game.))

``the Emmert joke"?? YOU'RE the one who printed the baby picture with Steve's face in it. You deserve whatever you get from the Lawyers Game.

((I do indeed....))

I sent Bruce Linsey a copy of the Robt material. He said all old differences aside, it was a shame. I had the same experience with Robert at Hunt Valley as Buz described. I wasn't surprised, though, as his attitude was similar a year or two earlier at a Vertigo Games. He was the first gamer face I saw when I got to the con site Thursday. We chatted then and a couple more times over the weekend. He consistently seemed to be enjoying life. That's as it should be, whether you have a day left or several decades.

Mike, mpbarno of

((We're gonna have fun in the new Amateur Division game, especially with that reprobate Rusnak as the GM.))

Russ Rusnak (Sat, 2 Sep 2000 14:38:14 EDT)

There are two other Ozogs, Caroline & Paula. Can't remember ever meeting Caroline though I must have at Eric's wedding. I'm just not sure if Kurt or Paula is the youngest. I do know Paula enjoys games though I'm not sure about diplomacy.

I'll be glad to run the game. Feel free to forward preference lists etc to me and hand my E-mail, address, & phone to anyone you put in the game.


((By the time you get this, you should have that info in your hands. We're on track to get started. Should be a humdinger....))


Don Miller Award (Meritorious Service)

Edi Birsan (Starting the Diplomatic Corps web page & organization)

((Edi really deserved this one, especially for the carryover work he did in support of World DipCon 2000. Hurray and congratulations to Edi!!))

- - - - - - - - - - -

Rod Walker Award (Literature)

Paul Windsor (Geography is Destiny: How the Standard Map Dictates Fortunes & Strategies from The Diplomatic Pouch Fall 1999 Retreat Issue)

((Paul has been a very prolific writer for the Pouch and this clearly was a very special article. Congratulations to Paul and here's to many more great articles from him, even if he is a lawyer.... ;-) ))

- - - - - - - - - - -

John Koning Award (Player Performance)

Mark Fassio

((Mark spent most of his Diplomacy efforts in 1999 and 2000 in playing the Arsenic and Old Farts game here in this szine (in Pete Gaughan's subszine). And, of course, he won with all of us trying to stop him from winning. Winning that kind of game is the best indicator of great play. Congratulations, Mark!))

- - - - - - - - - - -

Fred Hyatt Award (GM Performance)

Michael Lowrey (Carolina Command & Commentary)

((Michael is the current US Orphan Custodian and in that role has picked up the job of GMing Doug Kent's orphaned Colonia game. As a GM of a game of Colonia here in this szine, I can categorically tell you that alone is worthy of sainthood!! Congratulations, Michael!!! Melinda's general commentary follows....))

- - - - - - - - - - -

The results of the 2000 Hobby Awards balloting are in. The Committee would like to thank all publishers for promoting the Awards and all hobby members who participated. I would like to say that everyone who was nominated received at least 1 vote. Also, in 3 of the 4 categories, the winner was decided by 1 vote. In the 4th category, the winner was decided by 2 votes.

Also, I would like to thank several generous donors to the fund this year. With their very generous help, we are able to provide the winners with plaques again this year. Thanks go to Jim Burgess, Paul Milewski, and Paul Kenny. The Committee extends our congratulations to not only the winners but the nominees as well. The winners will receive their plaques as soon as Fred Davis can get them engraved, etc.

The Hobby Awards Committee consists of Melinda Holley (Chairperson), Fred Davis (Treasurer), Gary Behnen, Jim Burgess, Paul Kenny, and Robert Lesco. On a personal note, I would like to thank my fellow Committee members. Their assistance has been invaluable on this project.

Melinda Holley, 1823 Enslow Blvd., Huntington WV 25701 (Rebel8954 of


``So I called up George and he called up Jim, I said let's make a deal.

He said he'd talk to him. Gonna start a church where you can save yourself,

You can make some noise, When you've got no choice...

You told me useful things, what people think of me, I guess I should thank you.

It's true, then I agree... I'm all alone, I've got no choice,

I'm all alone, I've got no choice."

From ``Got No Choice" by the incomparable Mark Cutler, from the CD Mark Cutler and Useful Things.

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904.

Standby lists:

Mike Barno, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Paul Rauterberg, Stan Johnson, Randy Ellis, Bob Acheson, Heath Gardner, Phil Reynolds, Paul Kenny, Dan Gorham, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy.

Phil Reynolds, Chris Trent, and Jim Sayers stand by for the Colonial Diplomacy game.

Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Phil Reynolds, Jim Sayers, and Kurt Ozog stand by for the Modern Diplomacy game.

Art Schleinkofer and Harold Reynolds stand by for Colonia. Help, more are needed for this game, maps are provided for free by me.... or by Harold Reynolds just ask.

Let me know if you want on or off these lists, especially OFF. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks.


TWO NEW GAME OPENINGS (guest written by brilliant counselor at law Steve Emmert):

In many of the games run in this szine and elsewhere, there is a fundamental element of unfairness that taints the entire process. Diplomacy is a game of honor and treachery; of loyalty and betrayal; of truth and lies. But it is fundamentally a competition among people seeking to manipulate one another, and therein lies the problem. The problem is lawyers, who occasionally play in games without disclosing their profession. You see, I (and many other like-minded GM's) feel it is fundamentally unfair to require amateur liars to compete against professionals.

But we can't merely shut the whole legal profession out of the hobby. There are, after all, several excellent Diplomacy players among the members of the bar, and they have a right of free association, too. I have decided that the best way to reconcile these two opposing concerns is to offer each camp its own separate theater of operation. Accordingly, I hereby announce two gamestarts, each of which shall be Regular Diplomacy. One, open only to attorneys, will be titled, ``The Professional Division." The other, open only to nonlawyers, will be called, ``The Amateur Division." These games, which I propose to begin simultaneously, should provide an interesting case study on this particular form of ``professionalism."

If you have any problems with the structure of the foregoing, you can speak with my attorney.

Best wishes. Steve Lord of the Three Capitals

LAWYERS GAME: Stephen Agar and Steve Emmert already have signed up. We're searching for lawyers, contact me if you have any leads!

REGULAR GAME: Rick Davis, Jim Burgess, Randy Ellis, Mike Barno, Scott Munson, Kent Pollard, and Bob Osuch ((Yes, THAT Bob Osuch....)) with Russ Rusnak as the guest GM are the players here - it filled VERY quickly. We'll run both games with standard fees and rules. The $20 game fee ($5 of that refundable for NMR insurance) gives you a subscription for the life of the game, which usually is a bargain at twice the price. The game name will be "The Amateur Division" and players will be expected to repeatedly make fun of lawyers and their foibles in the press. We're already showing how the Amateurs know how to get a game started quickly and on time. Lawyers ONLY know how to delay and postpone the inevitable - hmmm, except for death and taxes, they cannot be delayed, can they??

Eric Ozog will be running Air-Sea Diplomacy some time in the future. You can contact Eric at ElfEric of if you are interested in the game. I'll publish the rules closer to a time when Eric wants it to start.

The other Diplomacy oriented opening left that I am GMing in this szine is an opening for a game of Star Trek Diplomacy! These will be the last Diplomacy game openings until more games end. See Stephen Agar's rules on his web page at (new location, and including that little typo on ``start trek''):

I decided how I will treat the Star systems and the ``revolving rings'' rule. I will keep the map as a ``code" and the real locations (which I will provide as names from Star Trek) will rotate through the coded spaces. This WILL make it easy to make up maps. The game start is open now, and since I want to STRONGLY encourage press, you can sign up and ``claim'' a race. Chris Trent claims the Ferengi, Stephen Agar claims the Borg, and Jody McCullough claims the Romulans. Buddy Tretick and Roland Sasseville, Jr., also are set to play. John Harrington is offering to guest GM a game of Office Politics. Any interest in that?? Let me or John know! I have one person signed up, but I've still forgotten who it is.

Also, I am going to design some postal rules for Devil Take the Hindmost, and Chris Lockheardt is pulling out of that opening too, so I need three players. Eoghan Barry is signed up. Postal rules from me will be forthcoming shortly, on my never ending to-do list.

Stephen Agar runs a British Diplomacy mailing list and has a new broader web postal gaming web site too at:

and if you are interested, contact Stephen Agar at stephen of who still heads up The Diplomatic Pouch postal section or or join the Brit hobby mailing list at (aw, you guessed it, another new address):

FANTASTIC VOYAGE: 1999K, Regular Diplomacy


Winter 1903

AUSTRIA (Rauterberg): bld a vie; has a VIE, a TYO, a BUD, a VEN, f TUN, a SIL, a GRE.

ENGLAND (Biehl): has f IRI, f MID, f ENG, a BEL.

FRANCE (Davis): R f mid-SPA(SC); has a BRE, a MAR, f SPA(SC), a GAS.

GERMANY (Shreve): bld a mun; has a MUN, a PAR, a BER, f NTH, a PIC, a BUR.

ITALY (Tallman): rem a boh; has a ROM, a PIE.

RUSSIA (Tretick): bld a stp; has a STP, a MOS, f NWY, a WAR, a GAL.

TURKEY (Ellis): has a BUL, f ION, a ARM, a RUM, f BLA, a SEV.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

ENGLAND: John Biehl, 8809 Delwood Drive, Delta, BRITISH COLUMBIA, V4C 4A1 CANADA,

(604) 589-9124 ($10); jeen of

FRANCE: Rick Davis, POB 1753, Santa Ynez, CA 93460, (831) 678-4470

redavis914 of

GERMANY: Dwayne Shreve, 739 Union Church Road, Elkton, MD 21921 ($5)

dwayneshreve of

ITALY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0384 ($3)

terryt of

RUSSIA: Buddy Tretick, 9607 Conaty Circle, Spotsylvania, VA 22553, (540) 582-2356 (E-Mail)

bernietretick of

TURKEY: Randy Ellis, 3116 McGee, Apt. 1N, Kansas City, MO 64111, (816) 931-8406 ($10)

bukowski64 of

Game Notes:

1) Dan Gorham has resigned as Austria and Paul Rauterberg has kindly replaced him. The players had already been notified of this change.


(POPATOVIASKY: A RATHER SMALL VILLAGE NEAR KIEV, UKRAINE, FORMERLY WHITE RUSSIA [Circa 1800]): Mother Russia stared out of her window noting that each fall, dozens of excursion railroads across the Northeast of Russia start bulging with passengers eager to view the reds and golds of autumn foliage. She wondered why these trips are so popular? It is the lure of a train ride across a sun-soaked valley in an open-air gondola car with wisps of soft-coal smoke in your nose and the chorus of a three-chime steam whistle in your ears. She also noted that Austria had far more pretty views, and then, decided, perhaps, maybe, to go there.

(ELLENORA, A ONCE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN OF KIEV): Shark Infestation and Crab Meat Press: Mother Russia, The Tzar's Mother, and his lover, came up with a clever thought, muttering to himselflessness, ``If you want to get something, start by thinking about how you can help others get what they want. If you can get enough people what they want, you'll start getting what you want back." So, he set out to give England and Germany what they had been asking for all along to see if his theory would work.

(POPATOVIASKY: A RATHER SMALL VILLAGE NEAR KIEV, UKRAINE, FORMERLY WHITE RUSSIA [Circa 1900]): The Tzar, a rather witty feller at that, thought that if it worked once, it will work again. So, the proverbial finger probed with a suddenness one could not believe. Concurrently, the Tzar grabbed holt' of a stick. The Kaiser shot up into the air, and the Tzar waited for the sudden surge upward into the foul air of the saloon. And, then he noticed the stick that he had grabbed, squishing through his fingers, and dropping down onto his face. He retorted, ``Oh, no, not another German terd!" The Kaiser once again stuck into the rafters, and once again, broke loose, this time by swaying with his legs. The Kaiser dropped to the floor and looked around for that certain someone who gave him the finger again. Luckily, the Tzar was nowhere to be found, hiding, as it were, in the brown of it all. A smile rounded the Tzar's already fat face as he heard a little boy say that he was there to clean the spittoons. The Tzar muttered, ``Free at last, free at last", wondering when he heard that before. The little boy picked up the spittoon and walked outside . out back, as it were, and, ``OH! NO!" . dumped the contents of the spittoon into the outhouse hole. The once merely brown Tzar turned a few more shades of brown as he sank deep down into the muck and the mire. But, then, that is all his association with the Kaiser has ever produced in the first place.

(SPOTSYLVANIA): Not to even try to top all that has been said and printed, did you know that Bob Sacks was one of the Ushers at my [first] wedding. We ``lived" in the same dorm. Age difference, you say! Yes! I just turned 68, and the Bob Sacks I knew in college was my age then. Perhaps he got younger as he aged. Perhaps he had a father with the same name. ((But of course, Robert was always ``Robert'' or at least ``Rob't''.))

(FREDRICKSBURG PATENT OFFICE): A startling discovery was made here today when Bernie discovered what the healthiest light bulb was. When asked by the Patent Officer to state in clear, concise language, just what made that light bulb the healthiest of all, Bernie wrote, ``One that has not yet been taken out of the package! It has not yet been screwed in, screwed up, or screwed over!" The Patent Officer asked, ``Oh, you're not another Diplomacy player, are you?"

(Sometimes I Feel Like) FLETCHER CHRISTIAN: 1999Cgh013, Colonia VIIb Diplomacy


Winter 1754

AUSTRIA (Prosnitz): bld a surinam, a trieste; has a SURINAM, a TRIESTE, f TAHITI, f BELEM,




CHINA (Acheson): bld f peking; has f PEKING, f EAST CHINA SEA, a SINKIANG, a TIBET,



ENGLAND (Power): bld f nigeria, a malaya, f london, f edinburgh; has f NIGERIA, a MALAYA,





FRANCE (Alme): bld a quebec, a dakar; has a QUEBEC, a DAKAR, a FLANDERS, a BURGUNDY,



NETHERLANDS (O'Donnell): rem a tanganyika, a katanga, f samoa; has f CORAL SEA, f TASMAN SEA.

OTTOMAN (Johnson): rem f tarawa; has f YEMEN, f POLYNESIA, a ARMENIA, a SUEZ,










SPAIN (Partridge): R a libya-BENIN; bld f florida, f manila, f somalia, a madrid, a valencia;





Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Prosnitz): BUD,VIE,SUR,TRI,TAH,ven,bav, (has 18)
CHINA (Acheson): PEK,WUH,XIA,AMO,tib,tai,NAN, (has 12)
ENGLAND (Power): NIG,MLA,EDI,LON,kam,sia,nwy, (has 20)
FRANCE (Alme): PAR,DAK,TOU,QUE,BDX,tau,ohi, (has 13)
NETHERLANDS (O'Donnell): MEL,sam (has 2)
OTTOMAN (Johnson): IZM,JER,BAG,IST,HAW,persia, (has 15)
PORTUGAL (Stimmel): GOA,BRA,manit,mah,azo,kha,bah, (has 11)
RUSSIA (Rauterberg): MOS,KIE,CAP,STP,CRI,pol,moz, (has 16)
SPAIN (Partridge): MAD,MEX,SOM,VAL,MAN,cal, (has 18)
Neutral: cub,nat,niz,tim,vol (Total=136)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Gene Prosnitz, 2600 Netherland Ave., Apt. 1116, Riverdale, NY 10463, (718) 601-8131 ($5)

ProsnitzE of

CHINA: Bob Acheson, 807-556 Laurier Ave., Ottawa, ONTARIO K1R 7X2, CANADA ($5)

racheson of

ENGLAND: John Power, 8201 Featherhill Rd. #301, Perry Hall, MD 21128, (410) 933-8827 ($5)

natjohn2 of or jrpower of

FRANCE: Hank Alme, 506 Paige Loop, Los Alamos, NM 87544

almehj of

NETHERLANDS: Sean O'Donnell, 2219 Grafton Road, Grafton, OH 44044

sean_o_donnell of, seanside of

OTTOMAN: Stan Johnson, 2401 W. Southern Ave. #56, Tempe, AZ 85282, (602) 454-9356 ($5)

PORTUGAL: Robert Stimmel, Apt. #57, Casa de Sherry Apts., 2462 North Sycamore Blvd.,

Tucson, AZ 85712-2541, (520) 326-8369 ($5)

RUSSIA: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

SPAIN: Dave Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033

rebhuhn of

Game Notes:

1) Note John Power's new postal address and Bob Acheson's new E-Mail address.

2) No one likes the new map. I am going to try to get Harold Reynolds to fix the last one I was using. Even if he doesn't, that is the one I am going to use.


(NETHERLANDS-SPAIN): None taken unfortunately the maneuver has put me out of the game plus I expected to lose it and since I don't know the map all that well it cost me.

(OTTO-SPAIN): Dear Sir; I should like to apply for a lackey or minion position with your organization; am willing to work for opportunity of vengeance on my betrayer!!!

(SEAN-PAUL): Are you saying I was allied with China and Ottoman? My removals were based on places I didn't feel I could hold and I felt I needed to do something in Africa it looked like I was about to lose Uga which I didn't count on, otherwise I should have allied with Ottoman/China/Austria from the get go.

(NETHERLANDS-AUSTRIA): Well, you're probably wanting to do this anyway, so hey I'll offer it. I tried contacting you by e-mail and all attempts have failed they never seem to go through so the best I can do right now is hold off England and Russia while you go for Sam and Mel otherwise England and/or Russia is going to take them I'll do my best to hold Mel, but either way you should take Sam I'm not even going to defend it nor can I defend it my best bet is holding off Russia and England.

(NETHERLANDS-THE BOARD): I definitely would have better off figuring out how to continue the original Netherlands strategy I may or not be better off for that.

(PARIS): Have the French been out to lunch lately? Here' why: Steen Raymond Alme arrived on the 25th of August at 2:31 AM. He weighed 7 pounds, 10 ounces. He is our first child (and my folk's first grandchild). Looks like he got the red hair coming from his mother and all of his paternal uncles, but he will have to settle for my weak chin. Steen is a scandinavian-flavored name common in my family; it is a variation on the Norwegian/Swedish/Danish/etc. words for `stone'. Considering the difficulty of his birth, and the way he has bounced back, it is apt.

(FRANCE-SPAIN): The build in QUE is not hostile, I'm just feeling a bit thin out there.

(NETHERLANDS-BOARD): Are we winning, are we winning, are we winning?


SECRETS: 1999D, Regular Diplomacy



Spring 1905

ENGLAND (Sayers): f edi-NWG, f eng-NTH, f MID-bre, f nth-SKA, f por-SPA(SC).

FRANCE (Sasseville): f spa(sc)-WES, f nap-tyh (d r:apu,otb), a PAR-bre, a MAR-pie.

GERMANY (Johnson): a sil-BER, a ber-KIE, f kie-HOL, a mun-BUR, a BEL h.

ITALY (Schultz): f ROM S f ion-nap, a VEN-pie, f TUN-tys, f ion-NAP, a TRI S a bud, a BUD S a tri.

RUSSIA (Trent): a MOS S a sev, f swe-NWY, a war-UKR, a PRU-fin (imp), f BAL C a pru-fin,

a den-SWE, a SEV h.

TURKEY (Munson): f smy-EAS, f aeg-ION, f GRE S f aeg-ion, a ser-ALB, f bla-CON,

a RUM S a bul-ser, a bul-SER.

Addresses of the Participants

ENGLAND: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA ($10)

100233.513 of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 481-4280 ($5)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

GERMANY: Stan Johnson, 2401 W. Southern Ave. #56, Tempe, AZ 85282, (602) 454-9356

ITALY: John Schultz, PO Box 1322, Valparaiso, IN 46384, (219) 462-0474

RUSSIA: Chris Trent, 3536 Watt Avenue, #B205, Sacramento, CA 95821, (916) 489-6138 ($5)

chrisimaus98 of

TURKEY: Scott Munson, P.O. Box 1042, Gardiner, MT 59030, (406) 848-2102 ($5)

samunson71 of

Game Notes:

1) Note Chris Trent's new phone number.


(SCOTT [on the bottle again] to STAN): It was great hearing from you! So that WAS New Mexico! Yep! I'm a moron all right!

(TSAR KRISTOF - KAISER JOHANNSOHN): Thank you for the armistice. I'm certain that this will be the best course of action for both our peoples.

(SCOTT to CHRIS): See? I am a man of my word!


(AMBASSADOR MUNSON to AMBASSADOR SASSEVILLE): You know that we could help each other out, don't you? Actions still speak louder than words, don't they?

(TUR-ITA): Do you plan on attacking Russia any time soon?

(AMBASSADOR MUNSON to THE HONORABLE MR. SCHULTZ): It appears we still haven't come to a satisfactory agreement on how to divide up the late Zarr's holdings. More negotiations are needed.

(ITALY-ENGLAND): After all these years I still space Jim's separate seasons - so - okay - as you asked....

(TRENT - JIM-BOB): Apologies. My new phone number is (916) 489-6138. Gracias, senor!

(IN ANKARA): The Sultan, contented with his harem and various concoctions, snuggled down into the soft pillows and supple bodies of his bed chamber. ``Life is good, my darlings...''

Leaning back, he spotted his preferred lover. His hands found her body, lightly gliding over her muscular thigh, to softly follow the curves of her ribs, barely touching the beautiful skin. Too thin, he thought to himself. But it was not just her body that drew him near. His eyes sought out hers, only to find her chin tucked into her breast, eyes glowering at him, the hint of a smile fluttering about the corners of her mouth. ``You know what I need, my beloved?" She stretched, straightening a pillow with the toes of her left foot.

``What, oh beautiful child?''

``You need some of those gorgeous, mischievous Italian girls to join our family.''

``But my lovely, we are not at war with the Italians. Do you suppose they will just part with their daughters for our pleasure?''

Her penetrating gaze settled upon him, hardening into a stone mask of resolve. ``But who, my mighty lover, would stop you from claiming a few of their most amazing daughters from the lower peninsula?''

Held for a mere moment, the gaze dissolved into a sensual smile, and then into an outright laugh. The Sultan snorted and laughed, and only then did he realize, he had been holding his breath.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: 1999Arn42, Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy - Black Hole Variant



Fall 1906

AUSTRIA (Weiss): a GAL-ven, f ADR S a gal-ven; and nuked LON, NTH, NWY, STP, MOS(2);

has none.

ENGLAND (Reichert): f eng-BEL, a yor-HOL; and nuked ALB(2), BUD, SER(2), TRI, VIE;

has edi,lvp,bel,hol (4).

FRANCE (Schultz): f mid-POR, a gas-BRE, a SPA h; and nukes withheld;

has bre,par,mar,spa,por (5).

GERMANY (Gardner): a BER h, a MUN h, f KIE h; and nukes withheld; has ber,mun,kie (3).

ITALY (Barno): a APU-ven, a TYO S a apu-ven, f tyh-TUN; and nuked GM, ALB(2), RUM(2), MOS(2),

CON(2); has ven,rom,nap,tun (4).

RUSSIA (S. Kenny): f GOB S a sil-swe, f sev-GRE, a sil-SWE, a ukr-WAR; and nuked

BUL, CON(2), PRU, BAL; has war,gre,swe (3).

TURKEY (McCullough): f ank-SEV, a syr-SMY; and nuked TUS, BLA, RUM(2), SER(2), EAS;

has smy,ank,sev (3).

Addresses of the Participants

Sandy Kenny, 23 East Coulter Avenue, Collingswood, NJ 08108-1208

Jody McCullough, 1071 Brown Avenue, Lafayette, CA 94549-3153

jodymc of

Richard Weiss, 2777 Northtowne Lane, Apt V 1105, Reno, NV 89512

rcw23 of or diplomat of

Sara Reichert, 20805 Margaret, Carson, CA 90745-1224

sarareichert of

John Schultz, PO Box 1322, Valparaiso, IN 46384, (219) 462-0474

Heath Gardner, 3017 Mayview Road, Raleigh, NC 27607, (919) 834-4832

hgardner of

Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883

mpbarno of

Current Standings

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 TOTAL

SANDY KENNY  4  3  0  5  1  3 16
JODY MCCULLOUGH  3  1  6  1  3  3 17
RICHARD WEISS  4  1  0  5  5  0 15
SARA REICHERT  1  2  2  4  1  4 14
JOHN SCHULTZ  0  6  2  2  4  5 19
HEATH GARDNER  5  0  3  0  0  3 11
MIKE BARNO  0  5  4  3  3  4 19
Black Holed 15 15 16 11 16 11 84
Neutral  2  1  1  3  1  1  9

Total 34 34 34 34 34 34 204

Times GM Nuked  1  1  3  5  1  1 12
Ind. Prison Off.  0  0  1  1  1  0  3
Greenland  1  0  0  0  0  0  1
Iceland  1  0  0  0  0  0  1
Kurt Ozog  0  1  0  0  0  0  1
Beale St., SF  0  1  0  0  0  0  1

Game Notes:

1) For the final game year, Jody is Austria, Richard is England, Sara is France, John is Germany, Heath is Italy, Mike is Russia (with one less nuke), and Sandy is Turkey.


(RICHARD to ALL): I must compete and hurt a potential winner, even if that throws the game assuredly to someone who is trying too hard - the ``Rich" of Yuppie Dip! I know you'd do the same Mikey-poo.

(MILANO to SARAJEVO): Oh, too bad, Richard. All your black press seems to have gotten you a zero. If Jody figures out it was you usurping his name almost every season, you might get another zero for '07.

(ANDRUSCHAK-WORLD): Good news for all you ``Survivor" fans - especially the jerk who sent me an unwanted e-mail that had ``survivor" spelled wrong. They are currently filming SURVIVOR-LA for release in Spring 2001. Five people will cruise the LA freeway system. Whenever a tire blows, they vote as to which person will be required to leave the Ford Explorer.

(MADCON VETERAN to `POTHEAD' [two synonyms]): Silly you, overhead cams aren't found in any of NASCAR's three national series or the ten regional touring series sanctioned by NASCAR. PHththph!!

(ANDRUSCHAK-INTERNET USERS): I tried to use some of the search engines available to AOL subscribers, but was unable to locate anything about ``Henry Seduschak." As for ``The Dungeon Master," I got several thousand hits, all for computer related games. Big help.

(MIKE to HARRYSCHAK): If I meet you in a game where you have more than three dots, I will be glad to oblige you by relieving you of the excess centers.

(JOHN-BOARD): I hung with the big boys and girls this time.

(SADWEISS-ALL): If I read the rules correctly, then I am the winner! Thank you one and all. This has been a great game. Thank you for bombing me the most times in the final year. Difficult to achieve with two naked fat Rich's not bombing anyone this time. Sheesh guys. Are you trying to like be diplomatic and obtain the most SCs? The deal is to be nuked the most. And I won. Barely beat out doe-doe head JimBob however.

(MIKE to JIM): I disagree with one point in your response to Harry: It's an HONOR to be erroneously slammed by John Boardman. I may have to fake another zine and send him a copy, that the Father of the Postal Hobby might cast his wrath upon me.

(WHITEDAM-ALL): France can't be reached or breached. His knickers will stay up for the final round. That gives him 19. I guess Mr/Ms Kinney could get to 17, but 16 is more likely. And Ms/Mr Jody looks forlorn at maybe 16/17. Of course I am blown away, but that's the way I like it. The more animosity, the more nukes, the better. Especially from Christina Jorgenson herself. Blow me away Sarah sweetie. Your hot nukie lips feel so good on my Bud. Yes, Ser! And poor little Mikey, well, upstate NY gets cold this time of the year. He can go Deer Hunting. He could tie John-John. At best. But, you don't have to read this, read the results.

(ANDRUSCHAK-DEMOCRATS): Frankly guys, I am disgusted at your cheap shots at Bush. For example, why do you make such a big fuss when he mentioned that the Clinton-Gore administration had been in power 4 years, even though it has been 8 years? Kindly remember that at the time he was holding a microphone in one hand and thus had only the other hand for counting.

(GAME-NAMER AND RULE MAKER): New rule for next game. Do it and I'm in. Any none-thrown nukes on either the GM or a truly named space are deducted from the individual's final score of SCs! Or else call the next game milk-toast and set up a hall-of-fame web sight for "winners."

(ANDRUSCHAK-GM): Count me in for the next NYEED. As for a name, has EDWARD TELLER been used yet? As The Father Of The American Hydrogen Bomb, he certainly deserves some sort of tribute. ((I like that idea....))

(GAME-NAMERS): Father of the Atomic bomb is still alive. Let's see, is his name William Tell? William Tell-her? William Tell-him? Go Tell-him? William Tell-us? William Tell-us-star? William Tell-them? Go Tell-Them on the Mountain, over the hill and everywhere . . .? And he says that Los Alamos, Lawrence Livermore and Roswell are each safe, no fear of leaks. Same for the proposed nuclear storage site minutes by foot from Las Vegas. And did I tell you about the brand new fault they found lying under Napa CA? I think they call it the ``too-much-tannin fault."

(BARNO to ALL): If you nuke me in 1907 I'll start writing Harold Zarr press and won't stop.

(MIKE REFLECTS): No, that's too nasty a threat to even use as a bargaining tool. I wouldn't do the Zarr press torture.

(RACOUNTER-SADDAM): Ah, my spry little fellow. While the Saddam's away, the racounter will play! And then the first of the sand-storm troika appeared at the tentway. Lifting the veil of the tent, but not of her costume, Sarah Right Heart, entered with an enchanting hip wiggle intro to the Bossa Nova Belly Dance of the Seven Shivas. The eighth Shiva was back at the Mirage, waiting for the show to go on once Wayne Newton showed. But, he had taken his camel to the Sands. Opening sand storm. And, so the Racounter laid back, delighted to watch his favorite Shiva shiver and shake. Tonight, with the help of a duck he had secreted back in Onan, and the publisher of his tales, he would finally disrobe the Seventh Shiva, and find out whether he was the winner of hole #1 or hole #2. ``Come on down" he said to the quivering Sarah Right Heart, Seventh Shiva.

(ANDRUSCHAK-JODY): Help! I am a heterosexual trapped in a heterosexual body. Or something like that.

(RICHARD-JODY): If you are a lesbian trapped in a man's body - do you like strap on dildoes? Only oral sex? Have very passionate areolas? Please do explain this in lay terms!

COME AND HAVE A GO (If You Think You're Hard Enough): 1998V, Diplomacy



Fall 1906

AUSTRIA (Pollard): a WAR S a lvn-mos, a MOS-sev, a SER S f gre-bul(sc), a GAL S a rum,

f gre-BUL(SC), a LVN-mos, a RUM S a mos-sev.

ENGLAND (Tallman): f hel-NTH, f swe-GOB, f NWY S f hel-nth.

FRANCE (Morris): a MAR-pie, f ENG-nth, a SIL-ber, f LON S f eng-nth, a BEL-ruh,

f nth-HOL, a BUR-mun, a PIC-bur.

GERMANY (Sayers): a RUH-bur, a MUN S a ber-sil, a BER-sil.

ITALY (Munson): a ven-PIE, f SMY S f aeg-con, f aeg-CON,

f EDI S ENGLISH f hel-nth, f nwg-NAO, a TYO S a ven-pie, a BOH S GERMAN a mun.

RUSSIA (Reynolds): a STP S TURKISH a sev-mos, a FIN S a stp.

TURKEY (Barno): f con-bul(ec) (d r:ank,otb), a bul-rum (d ann),

f BLA S a bul-rum, a SEV S a bul-rum.

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Pollard): vie,bud,tri,rum,ser,war,bul, (has 7, bld 1)
ENGLAND (Tallman): swe,nwy,den (has 3, even)
FRANCE (Morris): bre,par,mar,spa,por,bel,lon, (has 8, even)
GERMANY (Sayers): ber,kie,mun (has 3, even)
ITALY (Munson): rom,ven,nap,tun,lvp,gre,edi, (has 7, bld 2)
RUSSIA (Reynolds): stp (has 2, rem 1)
TURKEY (Barno): ank,sev (has 2 or 3, even(r:otb) or rem 1)
Neutral: none (Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Kent Pollard, PO Box 5726, Fresno, CA 93755-5726 ($4)

ENGLAND: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0384 ($3)

terryt of

FRANCE: Scott Morris, 12110 Shelbyville Rd., Louisville, KY 40243, (502) 893-8260 ($5)

Scottm221 of

GERMANY: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA ($10)

100233.513 of

ITALY: Scott Munson, P.O. Box 1042, Gardiner, MT 59030, (406) 848-2102 ($5)

samunson71 of

RUSSIA: Phil Reynolds, 2896 Oak Street, Sarasota, FL 34237, (813) 953-6952

preyno of

TURKEY: Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883 ($5)

mpbarno of

Game Notes:

1) Scott Munson has built up OODLES of abuse points to be spent on the rest of you, so WATCH out!! My fingers are tired now....


(BIG BASTARD MUNSON to GM): Seeing as you truly enjoy being abused (you damn masochistic bastard!), I feel the best way to torture your little soul is by writing, not e-mailing you, the most ludicrous drivel, and of such a disturbing magnitude, as to make you cry yourself to sleep over your computer. ((I am still working off chits from years and years and years of doing this to the GMs of games I played in.... ask Don Williams, for one.)) Lord knows that I never write anything above the ``amazingly dense-headed'' or just ``plain ignorant'' level, anyway. Ludicrous drivel should be an attainable goal. I'm busy attempting to straighten out my life at the moment, only to find some amazing kinks (always been a kinky bastard) and downward spirals. Attainable goals are needed just to keep me from swallowing the business end of my Webley and Scott (a cheer for the old British warhorse!) I've quit drinking, and have gone into `hermit-mode'. Cheap beer has been killing me. I've got to stick to my own homebrew or the quality stuff (Murphy's, Moose Drool, Guinness, Full Sail, etc.). Had a black-out incident were, as a good friend so aptly put it, ``mystery guest #1'' appeared. I think you know what I mean. One of those scenes where someone went out drinking last night, and it wasn't the Scott Munson character that usually uses that body. The biggest problem I have with it is that I don't look drunk during these episodes. People tell me that I walk fine, talk fine, DRIVE fine (lord help me!) and seem sober. Not ``Oh! Scott seems to have a good buzz on!'' More like, ``Hey Scott! Why ain't'cha drinking? Have one on me, big guy! Play some pool?'' And this is when I'm so fucking polluted I can't find my backpocket. And being the moron I am, I accept and proceed to get taken for all I'm worth on the table, all the while kicking back another half dozen pints of cheap American swill. (note: the only thing I've found Anheuser-Busch and other big U.S. breweries good for is consistency. The American Pilsner is a bland sort of fare, good for hot summer days and works when you're broke. I'm more of a fan of darker ales, porters and stouts, and they all happen to be pretty easy to make at home. If you haven't tried homebrewing, do so. It's a blast and hard to mess up.) Talk about a way to screw up your weekend! Can't remember the first night of it, and spend the rest of it in bed recouping. I'm just kinda fed up with the whole bar scene, which in Gardiner, is just about the only scene. So, now I'm looking for a new place to hang my hat. I've been thinking about the Oregon/Washington area (Sorry Terry T.! There goes the neighborhood, eh?) or possibly back in the Pittsburgh, Buffalo or Cleveland areas. Kansas could be a possibility. Fresno sounds like a ghetto, and this is coming from someone talking about going to Buffalo! Lord!

(RUSSIA to AUSTRIA): I'm trying to hold out against you as long as I can....

(AMBASSADOR POLLARD to THE WORLD): The military forces of my nation are attempting unorthodox maneuvers vhich I hope vill prevail against za fuzzyheaded nations zat ve are currently at Var vith! (I't is goot to try new zhings) Also,please forgive me for not participating at the World Dip... I am only a rookie and I need a little more Field Action before I meet you Ole Pro's in combat...I mean Diplomacy......

(POPE SPEEDICUT to SULTAN): And what exactly did you wish to hear? I write to you, not as an adversary, but as a friend. Do you want to hear a bunch of lies, sweet nothingness being poured into your unbelieving ear? The saying goes ``Live by the pen, or die by the sword.'' So who exactly is going to die if negotiations remain silent between us? It seems to me that it would have been in your better interests to speak up and proffer some ideas to this rookie, instead of sitting on your ass in your hidie-hole, disgruntled with the situation. As a matter of fact, this last turn would have been an ideal time for you to speak up and ``offer your enlightened suggestions.'' Even though we are battling, your ideas still hold weight. Sure Mike! I offer you Munich as a peace gift, oh mighty Sultan! Take it if you care to. And by the way, here comes your fucking pizza. Hope it's still hot enough for you....

(GENERAL MUNCHOUSEN to THE TURKISH ARMY IN BULGARIA): My troops have not had a chance to greet you personally....You are tenacious and cunning.....I hope that in future Battles we may some day be friends.

(PALACE OF COUNTERATTACK AND RECLAIM INITIATIVE): As the world press gets better, our offices release less of it. Could this be due to disgust at the minimal amount of incoming communication? Offense taken over the foreign dismissal of any consideration of alliance with the Ottoman Empire? No. All the civil servants in the Office of Public Information have volunteered for militia units reinforcing the armies defending the Anatolian coasts.

(AND MORE FOR THE SULKY SULTAN FROM JIZMO): As for not going to DipCon and having no excuse, how about being broke and needing to keep this joby-job for awhile. ((Plus a distance of over 2000 miles..... it wasn't like it was down the highway a piece.)) What do you think the chances of getting time off for gaming in the height of the tourist season would be? Care to offer up a guess, Sunshine? ((We would be considering slim and none and slim just left town....)) If I had time to do what I wnated, I'd be working on classic cars all morning, brewing beer all afternoon, work my way into some fine cooking and playing of board games with friends in the evening, only to finish off with a good two hours of tumbling in the sack with a nubile nymphet of my choice (Erin, are you out there?). ((Not in THIS szine...... we just lost our nubile nymphet to a sex-change....)) But I'm afraid I'm stuck in the real world, working at a suck-ass job. The friends are scattered, I'm broke and Erin is in Wisconsin. ((But Wisconsin isn't on your list of places to go??? Forgive me if I don't get it....)) Please take note that attending the DipCon wasn't in my ideal day. I do envy those of you able to go. I think it would be great to get my ass handed to me by a bunch of the veterans. ((And believe me, we would have been equally pleased to do it!)) I've, as you know, never played FTF, and I think the mechanics of the game would be interesting to watch. But I also think Jim-Bob hit on what my problem would be. I am an unknown and new to the game, and rather than working with someone they don't know, the old-timers would prefer to eliminate the newbies (As Jim described doing himself [to Alan Witte]; funny how they both appeared to have the same score that game ;) ) in a DipCon situation. ((You characterize things much too simply. And yes, my fate in most of the Tournament games was not great either. I am not a very good tournament player for a number of reasons, not least of which is that I much prefer PLAYING the game to PUSHING the game, which you have to do in Tournaments. The luxury of time is not present. But, this also can be viewed as an excuse. I play in tournaments better now than I used to, but I still am slow on the uptake on key rules....)) Who wants to ally with someone who may not even have an understanding of stalemate lines? ((Way too simplistic, Scott, I can think of a whole host of reasons, including precisely that this ally might NOT know where the lines are.)) It could be disasterous. The tourney is also obviously timed, which I think could put a damper on things, not to mention completely change all strategy in the game, as discussed in Issue #236. It would definitely change how you play the game. But looking someone in the eye over a board, beer in hand, while plotting and scheming is going on, would be a definite good time. You better know how to state a convincing argument, and be smooth with the presentation, to boot! No wonder there are a bunch of lawyers playing the game of Diplomacy! Right up their alley. It would, without a doubt, separate the men from the boys in a hurry.

(4TH ARMY GROUP LEAVING MOSCOW): Unt Dammit,I hope this works!!!

(POPE SPEEDICUT, TO THE MASSES OUTSIDE THE VATICAN): ``All right!! All you grease balls listen up!! Here's the deal. The French Ambassador, after being overheard plotting with enemies of the good people of Italy by our informants in the States, has been kicked out of Rome. Cute blue eyes or not, he had to go! The French embassy is being purged from the city's landscape by fire at this moment. It was tacky as hell and smelled like shit.... Bullshit, to be precise. Military movements are being made to defend the homeland against repercussions and French intrigues.''

(REPORTING FROM MOSCOW): ....I am currently continuing my search for the body of Harry Flashman. As I stand here I can see the group marching out of the great city and making it's way South......strange to do so....winter is on it's way...The Austrian High Command must be full of themselves. Many of their troops follow and only speak of Glory.....

(OFFICIAL PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT BY POPE SPEEDICUT): ``Apologies are due to the Honorable Ambassador Reynolds of Russia and Sir Terry Tallman, Esq., of the English Parliament. Relations were ruined between our countries due to the undisciplined greed of our northern fleets. An unfortunate situation, to be sure. Our sincere apologies for such rash, un-thoughtout behavior.''

(NONSENSE BY SCOTT MUNSON): ``I, Scott Munson, do hereby attest to the total yummy goodness of beer. I climbed onto the wagon for but a moment, and it broke. I guess wagons don't come in triple `X' double wide load size. Sorry, folks, but it is now time for a pint of the good stuff. Take care and have a wonderful season of gaming!''

(SCOTT to JIM-BOB): Was that good and long-winded enough to be considered torture? Hope so! Have a nice day! ((Scott is personally responsible for the szine being a week late..... heh, heh, heh....))

SO GOOD IT HURTS: 1998 P, Regular Diplomacy


Winter 1906

AUSTRIA (K. Ozog): rem a ukr, a rum; has f ION, a SER, a GAL, f AEG, a APU, a GRE.

ENGLAND (James): rem f nwy, f mid; has a BRE, f ENG, f TYH, f NTH, a POR.

FRANCE (Kinney): has f MAR, a SPA.

GERMANY (Goesle): R f nth-EDI; bld f kie, a mun; has f KIE, a MUN, f HOL, f SWE,

a VEN, a BUR, a TUS, f DEN, f EDI, a LVP, a BEL.

ITALY (Rauterberg): has f ROM, a NAP.

RUSSIA (Rusnak): bld a war; has a WAR, a MOS, a SMY, a SEV, f BUL(EC), a CON.

TURKEY (Emmert): has f TUN.

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (K. Ozog): vie,bud,tri,ser,rum,gre (has 6)
ENGLAND (James): lon,nwy,bre,stp,por (has 5)
FRANCE (Kinney): mar,spa (has 2)
GERMANY (Goesle): ber,kie,mun,den,hol,par,swe, (has 11)
ITALY (Rauterberg): nap,rom (has 2)
RUSSIA (Rusnak): mos,war,sev,ank,smy,bul,con (has 6(PLAYS ONE SHORT))
TURKEY (Emmert): tun (has 1)
Neutral: none (Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Kurt Ozog, 391 Wilmington Drive, Bartlett, IL 60103, (630) 837-2813

heyday6 of

ENGLAND: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956 ($5)

kjames01 of

FRANCE: Mark Kinney, 4820 Westmar Terrace #6, Louisville, KY 40222, (502) 412-3079

alberich of

GERMANY: Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235 ($5)

gozcorp of

ITALY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($5)

prosit of

RUSSIA: Russ Rusnak, 1551 Highridge Avenue, Westchester, IL 60154-3428 ($5)


TURKEY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456-5436, (757) 471-1842 ($4)

Lse of or semmert of

Game Notes:

1) Lots of blood and guts on the floor in this one.....


(EXILED TURK to BOARD): Unbelievable. Somebody has finally reached double figures in supply centers. Is it time to concede to the Gozmeister? And why ain't I dead yet?

(STEVE to DREW): I don't think the Orange play the Spiders this season, so you can probably look forward to basketball without fear.

(VIRGINIA BEACH to PROVIDENCE): I will be the first to admit that my early-season baseball predictions are not likely to bear fruit. Manny Ramirez won't win the AL MVP unless he goes nuclear again AND leads the Indians to postseason glory. (As I type this, it still isn't a sure thing that they'll even MAKE the postseason.) Pedro is still looking good as the Cy, though he could get a serious argument from Wells fans. In the NL, I went way out on a limb and picked Randy Johnson for MVP AND the Cy, but it looks now as though he won't get either. And my projected NL champs, the D'Backs, are headed in the wrong direction. Is it too early to send you hockey predictions? ((Never.... I picked the NL really well (nailed the Giants comeback), but haven't picked the AL very well, the Red Sox are in loads of trouble and I didn't think Chicago could stay in it. If the Red Sox somehow get in the playoffs, bet on Pedro for both the MVP and the Cy though.))

(EMMERT to JAMES): What, is the sun finally setting on the British Empire? Is that what's bothering you, Bunky?

(STEVE to RUSS): HAH!!!!! Absolutely LOVED your press item to Kurt about his being a stranger to the truth. Given my experience with you in this game, that's akin to your saying, ``Gee, you sure are a BLACK kettle!" Russ, I doubt you'd recognize the truth if it walked up and punched you right in the kisser. Any time you have any more good jokes like this, please feel free to run them; it makes the game much more enjoyable for minor powers like me.

(STEVE to JIM-BOB): I gotta tell you, this exiled-and-barely-hanging-on stuff isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I can laugh at the woes of my former oppressors, call Rusnak names, and generally have a good time, without worrying about my precious holdings. What are they gonna do, take all my home dots? No worries, no responsibilities, no need to decide who to trust . . . it still doesn't beat winning, of course, but being one of the teeny-weeny guys ain't all that bad.

(GERMANY to ENGLAND): I really hadn't intended this stab to take this long or be this bloody. I'd like to blame my ``allies", but I'm pretty sure that the fault lies with me. Sorry. I'll try to do better.



Turn 10

85 (replenish with a 3): Mark
84 (replenish with a 4): John Logie-Baird(4)
83 (no replenishment): None
82 (replenish with a 3): Will Shakespeare (5)
81 (replenish with a 4): Mad Hatter(8), Mock Turtle(6), Shane the Chain(3)

-S-P-R-I-N-T- -F-I-N-I-S-H- -L-I-N-E-

80 (no replenishment): None
79 (no replenishment): None
78 (replenish with a 3): War, Pollution, Broke Leg Meg, Barkin' Larkin'
77 (no replenishment): None
76 (replenish with a 3): White Rabbit, Pestilence
75 (replenish with a 5): John, Darrell A, Darrell B, Darrell C
74 (replenish with a 9): Sir Isaac Newton, March Hare
73 (replenish with a 11): Luke
72 (replenish with a 12): Alfred the Great, Matthew,
71 (no replenishment): None
70 (no replenishment): None
69 (replenish with a 3): Chasin' Jason
68 (no replenishment): None
67 (replenish with a 3): Famine

56 (replenish with a 3): Buhrt

Addresses of the Participants - Their Team and Their Cards (x) is played card this turn

TEAM 1 (The Wrecking Crew): Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202

(0 points) sarareichert of

Team Leader: Thanatos
A: War 3 6 3 (15)
B: Pollution 9 6 3 (15)
C: Pestilence 7 3 3 (12)
D: Famine 3 3 3 (3)

TEAM 2 (The Evangelists): Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02492

(18 points) 72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

A: Matthew 15 3 6 12 (3)
B: Mark 6 4 3 (3)
C: Luke 15 3 11 (6)
D: John 7 12 5 (5)

TEAM 3 (Brit Pack): John Harrington, 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex, EN1 3UW UK

(19 points) johnh of, fiendish of

A: Alfred the Great 3 9 6 12 (3)
B: Sir Isaac Newton 6 7 9 (3)
C: Will Shakespeare 3 3 3 (6)
D: John Logie-Baird 3 6 4 (15)

TEAM 4 (Amateur League Inciting Cycle Exchange): Tom Howell, 1011 West 18th Street #1,

(28 points) Port Angeles, WA 98363-7413; off-the-shelf of

A: White Rabbit 14 15 3 3 (12)
B: March Hare 15 15 9 (3)
C: Mad Hatter 14 3 4 (3)
D: Mock Turtle 10 3 4 (3)

TEAM 5 (The Mainiacs): David Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033

(7 points) rebhuhn of

A: Darrell A 6 3 3 5 (6)
B: Darrell B 9 6 5 (12)
C: Darrell C 15 6 5 (12)
D: Buhrt 3 3 3 (3)

TEAM 6 (The Flat Wheel Society): John Schultz, PO Box 1322, Valparaiso, IN 46384, (219) 462-0474

(3 points)

A: Broke Leg Meg 9 10 6 3 (15)
B: Shane the Chain 3 4 4 (15)
C: Barkin' Larkin' 12 6 3 (15)
D: Chasin' Jason 3 3 3 (6)

Game Notes:

1) When I add your replenishment card from now on, it always will be the LAST card in your list.

2) We have two more sprint point awards to make [(2) and (1)] to two of the riders sitting on square 78. I'll have to be careful in making sure that the right two riders get the points.

3) We have two more riders dropped from the pack, Chasin' Jason and Famine, for a total of three so far. Unless something weird happens, now that a pack has reformed, no one else should be dropped before the end of the race.


(BUHRT - BOOB): This is starting to look ugly. I predict a crowd on 78 and maybe 75, gaps all around them. 81, 82, 84 will all have racers, but 83 and 85 will be empty. Lots of low cards again!

(HATTER to TURTLE): See? Toast at the sprint line.

(TURTLE to HATTER): You're such a hatter! I've swum many leagues, so know coasting when I see it!

(DARRELL - WHITE RABBIT): More stews in it, if you catch my drift (and make sure you don't catch his!).

(WHITE RABBIT): Oh my gosh! I'm late! I'm late! Gotta catch up!

(ALICE to MANIACS): Looks to me like you got better assets than the Crew or the pack.

(HARE to JOHN): What are you carrying on that bike? What's in your pocket? I thought you were just happy to see ... your Rabbi!

(TFWS): Someone suggested I should air my rubber - any validity to that concept?

(BOOB to TFWS): Well, you finally picked up some points! That's something!! Now, you MIGHT be able to keep Harry on the sidelines without points if you pull the right moves next turn.... if the GM understands the rules right ;-)

(HARE to HIMSELF): Time to fade into the pack...

(DORMOUSE to TFWS): one step at a time, dearie!

FEAR AND WHISKEY: 1998Ers31, Modern Diplomacy


Summer 2003

BRITAIN (Schultz): R f nth-SKA, f nor-NWG; has f SKA, f NWG,

a LAP, f EDI, f GOB, f LON, f ENG.

EGYPT (J. O'Donnell): has f ALE, f EME, a SYR, a LIB, f GOL, a IRK,

a URA, f AEG.

GERMANY (Rauterberg): has f HAM, f SWE, f HOL, a SAX, a BEL, a BRI,

f NTH, a LIT, a CZE, a WAR, a PAR, a SWI, f HEL, a LYO, f NWY, a KRA.

ITALY (Ozog): has f TYS, f MAL, a TUN, a CRO, a AUS, f LIG, a MIL, f LBS,

a MON, f MAR, a TUS, f IST.

SPAIN (S. O'Donnell): has f SOG, a ALG, a AUV, f WME, a BOR, a NAV.

UKRAINE (Partridge): has a VOL, f WBS, a ANK, a ADA, a IRN,

a MOS, a POD, a LAT, f EBS, a GOR, a BIE, f GRE, a ARM, a SER, a HUN.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: John Schultz, PO Box 1322, Valparaiso, IN 46384, (219) 462-0474

EGYPT: Jeff O'Donnell, 402 Middle Ave., Elyria, OH 44035-5728, (440) 322-2920 ($4)

FRANCE: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202 ($5)

Tapmdfrance of

GERMANY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

ITALY: Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138, (360) 691-4264 ($4)

ElfEric of

POLAND: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 481-4280 ($5)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

RUSSIA: Randy Ellis, 3116 McGee, Apt. 1N, Kansas City, MO 64111, (816) 931-8406

surfeit of

SPAIN: Sean O'Donnell, 2219 Grafton Road, Grafton, OH 44044 ($5)

sean_o_donnell of, seanside of

TURKEY: Kent Pollard, 1541 W. San Jose, Fresno, CA 93711, (209) 225-0957 ($10)

UKRAINE: Dave Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033 ($8)

rebhuhn of

Game Notes:

1) Check out the Modern Dip web page at:


(THE MEKONS QUOTE OF THE MONTH): ``The lights went out all over Europe, and in the darkness of space the stars are blinking with our hope, as a rocket roars out of the Cape.'' The haunting voice of Sally Timms on ``Secrets'' (yes, the song the game above is named after...) that appears on The Curse of the Mekons. Jeff, this time the quote refers to the actions of your nephew.... or at least his attempted actions, hyork, hyork, hyork!

(CAPTAIN KIRK to STARFLEET): Have arrived at the front lines (what a mess). I have analyzed the situation and I've discovered our problem. Unknown to the Federation, the evil Captain Kirk from the Alternate Universe has been commanding the war effort here. Looking over his battle tactics of the last three years, I have determined that not only is he evil, he's really stupid. I have temporarily solved the problem. I had Mr. Kile beam him out into space. My first order of business was to borrow an old Klingon bird of prey with a cloak and send it and my Ambassador (a guy in a red shirt) to Cardassia to try to get an alliance, and to convince them to end their siege of Bajor and Deep Space 9. The Cardassians sent my borrowed Klingon ship back with my Ambassador's throat cut and a note (ex ti plum equitox), that's Cardassian for ``kiss my Cardassian ass''. So much for my diplomatic effort. We have had a few moderate victories as of late. The Ferengi attracted one of our flank star bases. We were just lucky that I guessed right and cut off their supply line so they had to withdraw. The Klingons surprised and to some degree unnerved the Ferengi by crossing the front line in a cloaked battle cruiser to reinforce our flank next to the former Star Base 96, now the Ferengi focal point of their Federation conquest. I have to commend the Klingons for their loyalty and their bravery. Mr. Spock has analyzed the Romulan frontier and determined that they are using a wormhole to speed up the advance of their Ambassador class warships to the front. He noticed a Ferengi Starship patrolling the Federation end of the wormhole and that the ship was the Ferengi ship ``Batise Seter'' a Ferengi word that means Cheap Bastard. Before the war, the ``BS'' had purchased its navigating computer from a Federation Excelsior class vessel. By using his expertise in cryptography, Mr. Spock was able to decode its combination code and temporarily order the ship to move to the mouth of the wormhole and stop any Romulan vessels from coming through. Federation ships moved in to attempt a temporary harassment takeover of the Ferengi Starbase, but a smaller Romulan ship, not constrained by the limitations of the wormhole, happened by as expected on a routine patrol in preparation for their Federation invasion. So our chances of taking the enemy starbase is small to none. Word has it that the CEO of the Ferengi ship has been busted down to ``Flea Market Clerk''. Mr. Spock estimates that the Ferengi/Romulan forces outnumber the Federation about 2-1. The Cardassians have Bajor by the proverbials and the Klingons have been for the most part neutralized. Our post is secure for now, but without more help.....

(JEFF to JIM): At least now I know who is putting the Mekons notes into the press. If you need the name of a good therapist, I can help. ((No problem on this end, I could say the same to you.... ;-) ))

(SPAIN-UKRAINE): Well this is going to be interesting to see which one of you and Germany win. Italy is probably going to get backstabbed by one of you question is when. Egypt, Britain, and myself will be eliminated sooner or later pending on how we play our moves to delay the inevitable. Then we'll be down to the three of you and pending what happens between now and then it will all boil down to who gets the better position over who or by making a line that no one can get any further.

(BRITAIN-GERMANY): This should actually be fun.


(SPAIN-ITALY): You know from as much as you feared Jeff and I allying against you why force us into it. Lets see here we have Jeff that plays with his own twist and me that spends long hours studying the map figuring out what would be the best move. Except I didn't do that in Colonia and it cost me I need to find a way to pin the map up sometime and study what my mistake was. Oh I know I picked the wrong alliance for my power in that game. I didn't play well at all I'm down to two and well Austria can have Mel and Sam either way I'm going to lose the possessions and I can't hold them and I'll lose one at least this year.

(JEFF to JIM): I would never even consider accusing you of perfection. ((Why, thank you, I resemble that remark....))

(EGYPT-ITALY): What if just for the fun of it, Ukraine and Germany were to write the moves; Ank-Ist supported by Gre, WBS-Bul, EBS-WBS, Bos-Cro supported by Ser and Hun, Sax-Mun, Swi-Mun, Cze-Aus. You'd lose three guys while Ukraine would build three, not counting the little guessing game you and I are playing down South. Just thought I'd mention it.

(EGYPT to ITALY): I really appreciate your friendship, but your social graces are really lacking. I never sent any letters out inviting Italian troops to Libya. Your party crashing soldiers were extremely rude and their attitude has really put a strain on our Egyptian/Italian alliance. Just to show there are no hard feelings, I would like to cordially invite any Italian nationals to a party in Greece this fall. BYOB. PS: Only if I'm the host!

(SPAIN-EGYPT): Actually we do have Nukes, but everyone has their shields up so it does no good to launch though I can always launch them at the GM.

(O'DONNELL TRIBUTES): ``Launch all Nuclear Weapons at GM" ``But that is three hundred missiles, France destroyed the rest of our arsenal." ``Launch!" Launch in t minus 5;4;3;2;1

(SEAN-THE DIPLOMACY HOBBYISTS): We need a new GM, I just executed Jim. Sorry guy, I didn't mean to make Rhode Island a quiet state for the next 20,000 thousand years, but we did make one mistake we forgot to launch one.

(DIPLOMACY TRIBUNE NEWS): Earlier this morning Spain launched 299 missiles into Rhode Island, but about three hours later Italy stole Spanish plans off defense with that weapon and it detonated at their Embassy in Spain on Baleria Islands since the war.

(SPAIN-EGYPT): The Snake Italy, the rat, the cat Germany Ukraine the dog Egypt Spain, and Britian. How you going to see them when your living in the fog. Not see no evil, hear no evil, evil. ((Huh??))

(SPAIN-EGYPT): X is coming you can duck duck they don't give a **** ****

SHOW ME THE MONEY: 1997Mea04, Colonial Diplomacy


Summer 1910

BRITAIN (York): has a DEL, a MYS, f ADEN, f ERI, f HK, f BAN(EC), f ARA.S, a NEP.

FRANCE (Sasseville): has a TON, a HYD, a MAY, a RAN, a BOM, a U.BUR.

HOLLAND (Desper): has a ANN, f SUL.S, f WIO, f GOS, f AS,

f FOR, f GOA, f MP, a CAM, f MAL, f SCS.

JAPAN (K. Ozog): has a KYO, a NAN, f VLA, a SHA, a IRK,

f ECS, f CAN, a PEK, f TOK, f YS, f SOJ, a MAC.

RUSSIA (Williams): has a AFG, f RS, a KRA, a PUN, a RAJ, a MON, a KAM, a NAG,

a SIK, a PER, f EGY, a ARA, a ASS, a TAB, a LAN, a TIB, a CHU.

TURKEY (Tallman): has a SHI, f SUD.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Andy York, PO Box 201117, Austin, TX 78720-1117

wandrew of

CHINA: Rich Goranson, 4351 Chestnut Ridge Road, #7 Amherst, NY, 14228-3227 ($5)

ForlornH of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 481-4280 ($5)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

HOLLAND: Rick Desper, 703 Monroe Street, Apt #302, Rockville, MD 20850, (301) 545-0143 (E-Mail)

rick_desper of or desper of

JAPAN: Kurt Ozog, 391 Wilmington Drive, Bartlett, IL 60103, 630-837-2813

heyday6 of

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (661) 297-3947 ($4)

wllmsfmly of

TURKEY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0384 ($0)

terryt of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The HJR draw proposal fails. I'll put it in again on GM's perogative for a Fall turn vote as well. If you've already voted, your vote will stay the same for Fall unless you specifically change it. Since my reason for doing so will be pretty transparent, I will say that at least one of you did not vote on the proposal.

2) Rick is in the middle of moving, but he does have a new address and there it is!

3) I forgot to note that the British attempt to support the moving Dutch fleet in the Red Sea failed. This didn't really affect anything, but I thought I'd note it.


(BOOB SAYS): Very quiet except for some draw votes....

Personal Note to You:

File translated from TEX by TTH, version 2.70.
On 26 Sep 2000, 07:35.