May 22, 2000

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287

Accessible through Internet at burgess of; FAX to (401) 277-9904

A quick, slim issue this time around as all of the subszines appeared last time. I decided to hold the remainder of the Diplomacy World discussion until next issue to give some of those who received last issue late time to respond.

The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada, a bargain at twice the price.... but you can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and future game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $20.00 ($15.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). After the current series of games, I probably won't start another until the Modern game ends (then I will start another Modern with the Wing rule). But there are some other options. Mark Kinney is trying to get his dipszine going again (one game is already filled), but he may have other openings. Mark is looking for standbys too. Contact Mark NOW at 4820 Westmar Terrace #6, Louisville, KY 40222, (502) 412-3079; alberich of and get on his subscription list. I'm in the game and you CAN'T miss watching ME play....

Check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch with all of the information you need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at:

Through Stephen Agar's (who is still in charge here) Postal portion of the Pouch:

the szine resides in html format. Presently, issues from #190 to the current issue are there, and I will be updating the back issues gradually someday. Also, check out Stephen's more extensive efforts at (note the new address):

The most recent issue of TAP also can be accessed through Pete Sullivan's web page and occasionally David Wang's:

1) David has grabbed and reserved the HIGHLY prized name:!! David Wang's site also allows you to follow John Caruso's postal baseball league that I am in. John and Kathy Caruso are now up on E-Mail and if David doesn't get off his butt soon and start updating the page more frequently, John probably will go invent his own web page.

2) For the most recent issue of Pete Sullivan's subszine check out:

Pete is looking for Railway Rivals standbys, but otherwise, he is full with games at the moment.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!!


The reward for resolving a certain mystery that currently exists in our hobby is still open. I won't be announcing another person to search for until Issue #235 while we allow time to search this mystery. Feel free to assist Brenton Ver Ploeg or others to solve it. I shall be saying nothing more about it.

Or spend the time looking for some of the backlog. Let's get Kevin, Al, and Jerry found too!!! Note that Brenton would love to find the woman that Jerry Lucas used as his front too. Does anyone know her name? This could be a way toward finding Jerry. This is a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Jerry Lucas or Al Pearson is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, finance a web page, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for.

This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.


The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 3UW, UK.

E-Mail: fiendish of or johnh of

Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally or in GBP to John if you're doing things from that end. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse. There has been some interest in finding a new Australian representative. Should someone Down Under have an interest, or from anywhere else in the world, please contact me.


If you've had your head under a tree, the World's Largest Diplomacy Tournament is currently underway by E-Mail, featuring over 550 players from all around the world. TAP readers who are participating are ENCOURAGED to write in commentaries on games, or teams, or whatever. You can see the commentary on the games by logging in as a guest at this website: worldmasters99/login

The second round is off to a fitful start.... but there is lots of commentary from non-players. The player negotiations are rumored to be quite intense. For the TAP team players, Steve Emmert is Turkey in one game and not benefiting from an Austrian collapse, while Jim O'Kelley is playing a masterful game as Germany against Toby Harris' France. We are lookin' hopefully for a good outcome here.

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

The game Diplomacy is a copyrighted product owned by Hasbro and all reproductions or other use of that material in this szine is intended to be personal use and not infringe on those rights in any way. All reproductions are done at a heavy financial loss to the editor and thus are without the remotest possibility of commercial intent, except to promote THE game, the Game of Diplomacy, which you all should purchase from Hasbro or other duly licensed distributors.

Robert Lesco's Marco Poll, the defacto poll of the North American hobby since the Runestone is pretty much officially dead, continues to collect votes. This is an official TAP approved poll. Here are the particulars on the Marco Poll: Vote for your top five in each category and you can't vote (or at least it won't be tabulated) for Robert Lesco or his szine, which I don't see. I will send this to Robert and offer him a trade. The deadline is September 1st and either send your ballot to marcopoll of or mail to Robert Lesco, 49 Parkside Drive, Brampton, Ontario, CANADA L6Y 2H1. For identification purposes, Robert would like you to identify yourself both by name and by affiliation (a game you play in or a szine you sub to). Here are the categories this year (I like some of the new ones!!):

1) Favourite ((Hey, what, he's Canadian, yeah.)) Zine ((What's a zine, shouldn't that be Szine???))

2) All Time Favourite Zine ((Szine))

3) Best Diplomacy Player

4) All Time Best Diplomacy Player

5) Best GM

6) Player Who Writes the Best Letters/E-Mails

7) Folded Zine ((Szine)) You Miss the Most

8) Favourite Variant

Randy Ellis (Sat, 20 May 2000 12:53:29 -0500)

Jim, I recently bought the new Diplomacy CD-ROM but I kept if for just two days before returning it. It was awful. The AI was terrible. The entire package, in my estimation, was very disappointing. The suits at Hasbro, in their infinite wisdom, have also decided to quit putting out the board game? ((No, let's clear up that misconception now. The new board game ALSO should be out there. I've seen it.)) Amazing. Just so I can have something, I bought a game at a local hobby store last week. The board game isn't what it used to be but I gave my old board to Kent Pollard so I had to replace it. The old game went to a good cause.

Randy, surfeit of

Buz Eddy (Mon, 22 May 2000 14:03:41 EDT)

Deadwood - May 2000

Starting Ending
Player Country Result Rating Rating

Terry Tallman Turkey D 1684 2056
Tom Howell France D 1000 1473
Mike Hall England L 2106 1995
Buz Eddy Germany L 1845 1760
Eric Ozog Russia L 1319 1287
Jonas Johnson Italy L 1000 1004
Al Bouvier Austria L 1000 1004

Always a fun time out in the forest of the Elves. Eric and Cathy are as close to real life elven royality as you are likely to meet this side of middle earth. Although the middle earth parallel holds futher for the above diplomacy game. Sauron Tallman rose strong from Mordor to darken the happy landscape of Verlot. He clouded the vision of elves, hobbits, and Canadians, convincing them all that poor but honest Buz Eddy was a threat to all humanity.

He played a superb Turkey. He allied with Russia, (Eric), played soft while pointing to the west where the alliance pattern was in a state of flux, but threatened to resolve quickly when England (Mike Hall ((Canadian Navy man stationed in Victoria BC, and veteran of the Denver Armada this year)) ) lost Norway and found no friends.

Terry convinced Austria (Jonas Johnson) and Italy (newcomer Al Bouvier) that the western threat was real and that they MUST charge westward. At the same time he used the fact that Germany (Poor but honest Buz Eddy) deployed into the Baltic to prepare to form the western side of the stalemate line as a obvious viscious hostile attack on the Elven Prince's sacred forests. The Elven Prince responded by moving everything he had north.

Meanwhile France (Tom, off-the-wall, Howell, who earlier in the year arranged for Buz to be the quickest eliminated in a Sea of Dispair game) was cleaning out the British Isles, and since Germany was being invaded by the single remaining English unit, chased it down through Holland, and Kiel. He successfully destroyed it, and took most of Germany's dots in the process.

In Spring 1906 FTR, and FT were proposed. Poor, but honest, Buz declared that he would not now or ever vote for a draw that didn't include him. Sauron Tallman, broke into a broad evil smile, I admire such tenacity, now I can watch Buz die! he cackled. As the Fall turns were being written, Sauron enchanted the assembled with a dark mantra. ``Buz must die, Buz must die, Buz must die" echoed through the forest.

Poor but honest Buz, pleased the gamers by guessing wrong and dutifully dying. Now Sauron the Toadfather surveyed the toadies before him, annointed Tom Howell as chief Toadie and proposed an TF to which all remaining happily agreed.

Buz also maintains that he was poisoned, as Mike Hall brought down some pretty damn good Canadian beer which is 5% stuff and dulled Buz's thinking and slurred his speech. Eric and Cathy were wonderful hosts. Buz had to leave, but there was more gaming being set-up as he left. Eric says we need another DeadwoodCon in October. Mike & Buz are booked for World DipCon. I hope everyone one will come to Dragonflight August 25 - 27 in Seattle.

Of course, this being a DeadwoodCon the traditional territory had to be revisited, albeit sadly without Joan Exstrom and Ken Corbin present. The Hobby sex Ghod's fertile toe was once again mentioned, and then the visit of Joan and kids to Brux this year was mentioned, and Mike Hall asked who's Brux. Eric deftly changed the subject before the Toadfather's blood pressure exceeded 400/395. Mike Hall asked Terry if he was going to WDC in Baltimore, Terry said no, the only time he went out of the northwest for Dip was to Bob Olson's houseCon (Kansas?) (late 1980?), and Eric said that was a good time. I asked Jonas Johnson which zines (this is spelled properly with NO ``s" at the beginning) ((You're lucky I'm even printing this.....)) he played in and he name his current ones, plus Been There, Done That which was Tom Nash's magnificent construction, and ready made burn-out of the the early 1990's. ((Tom is now living in the Big Apple and should still be reading this....))

I had a great time, of course, I lost everything I tried including a nerfball catching contest with Eric's daughter, and ShebaDog (now age 14) won the getting sick even though I was pulling down the Canadian brew.

Respectfully submitted by: Poor, but Honest, Buz, BuzEddy of

Terry Tallman (Mon, 22 May 2000 13:46:28 -0700)

While Buz has them correct in the chart he reverses the Austrian and Italian players names in the sniveling, wildly over-dramatic recollection of what was the just and proper stomping of his scrawny little corpse.

Terry, terryt of

Buz Eddy (Tue, 23 May 2000 12:30:22 EDT)

If we keep this up we can generate a special edition of TAP. :) ((You're getting DAMNED close....))

Yanno, I can't decide whether the reason Joan kissed your toe was that way she didn't have to look at your ugly face, or it was as close as she could get to your rotund corpus. Your bombastic blowhard presentation and your bloated physiology means you better stay a long ways from the Makah reservation while their whale hunting permits are valid.

Your dear gaming buddy, Buz, BuzEddy of

((Then we have the REALLY short description....))

Tom Howell (Mon, 22 May 2000 20:38:38 -0700)

Jim, Went to Deadwoodcon and took a two way with Terry Tallman....

Tom, off-the-shelf of

((Then the only slightly longer version....))

Eric Ozog (Tue, 23 May 2000 08:38:24 -0700)

Buz Eddy's Germany got squashed between Tom Howell's France and my Russia, much to Terry Tallman's (Turkey) delight.

Eric, ElfEric of

Terry Tallman (Wed, 24 May 2000 19:37:28 -0700)

Hi old people (Kuddles and the Wimp);

Just a short note begging you guys not to confuse poor Buz. As he grows older his assorted handicaps (mental, physical and social) drag him deeper into a fantasy world where he is convinced that:

a. He could beat a delivery room full of newborns at dip.

b. His writing is (pick any or all);





c. Anyone has anything nice to say about him.

((Yeah, let's let him down easy!))

They don't let him out of the silly old dipsters home that often but they do pay us big bucks to look after him for the day. We all wonder if it is worth it but as long as the checks don't bounce we will take him out and let him rant and rave over a dip board once or twice a year.

He is still able to feed himself and open beer cans unassisted but rumor has it that if senility gets much worse he will have to give up his tax business and just go to work for the IRS where no one will notice.

Hope this finds you well and up to your hip-waders in grandkids...

Terry Tallman, terryt of

The Toadfather, Hobby Sex Ghod and Stomper of Buz's Scrawny Little Carcass.

(Dip mantra for the '00's, ``BUZ MUST DIE! BUZ MUST DIE! BUZ MUST DIE!")


Comments on the 1999 year in music are still welcome.

The tape thing is still going very slowly. I need some uninterrupted time to do it.... I need to figure out some timings and get together to actually make a master tape. Then I'll either find a commercial service or perhaps buy some new equipment to get the copying done. Once I find the cost of that, I will let people know the cost. I am leaning toward a five dollar fee, so the people I've chosen below for five dollar awards automatically get them for free. There are a few other selected individuals who've been sending me tapes and CD's and things who also will get them for free. For now, I'm going to stop reprinting all the rest of the header stuff each issue. The way I do things, I was sticking it in my face so I noticed it and kept it on my to-do list, but obviously it was way too repetitive.

Dick Martin (Wed, 17 May 2000 02:58:55 -0400)

hey jim-bob - what gives here? how can my lowly o's be sailing along in first place? how can the mighty bosox be tanking in the cellar? how can the sox have made 50% more errors than the o's? is the world coming to an end???? ((This is in John Caruso's baseball league..... I am plotting my comeback, I just obtained Eric Davis to play in my outfield in a midseason deal, which could turn me around..... you of course, never make any midseason moves.))

i heard my first mekons tune today: ``last night on earth". you know, i liked it so much i may have to forgive you for the close lobsters. ((Hey, I STILL bounce to the Close Lobsters sometimes, ``Skyscrapers of St. Mirin" is still heavenly....)) i may even have to snag some more mekons real soon now. but first, time to prowl around the internet looking for samples. ((Great, go for it...))

it's old news by now, but i thought do the right thing was a very powerful film. fine acting, good story, intense ending...and spike lee doesn't beat you over the head telling you what the `right thing' is. in fact, it's completely ambiguous. i can't recall too many other movies that inspired as much discussion about what the end *really* meant. maybe quadrophenia, with the shot of the scooter falling off the cliff.... (that's an excellent film too if you're ever in the mood to catch an oldie on video - great soundtrack & sting's first (and best) movie role.)

oh yeah, please note yet another email address for me....i still get mail at the blarf address, just don't check it as often.

dick, phantom2 of

((Thanks, Dick, always good to see the ``Mark Lew no caps" style once in awhile. Did you originate that or did he? Next up we have a slightly dated announcement from Hank Alme, but I thought it was worth putting in here for human interest.))

Hank Alme (Sat, 13 May 2000 18:13:21 -0600 (MDT))

Jim: I have been kicked out of my house by the fire in Los Alamos. So far, my house is in no danger (I live in White Rock). We do not know when we will be allowed back, but it will probably not be until next week some time.

I do not have 'net access in Santa Fe (I am using a terminal at the red cross shelter in Santa Fe right now, but I am staying elsewhere).

If you could help tell the guys in Fletcher Christian and in Mark Kinney's game, I would be much obliged. I will be able to check messages once in a while, but not often.

Thanks, Hank, almehj of

((A week later came this postscript....))

The whole thing has been very interesting. It is more excitement than I need. We got back earlier than anyone here expected. We stayed one night at my brother's duplex in Santa Fe, and then moved to a hotel for a while. The local hotels relaxed their ``no pets" policies for evacuees, thank goodness. We were running around with a dog (labrador/rotweiller mix) and two cats.

The only sort of fire related thing in our house was the stench of rotting garbage that greeted us upon our return. It took a day to air out the house. Next time I get an evacuation order at 2:00 AM, I'll remember to take out the trash.

The word is that we will be going back to work at Los Alamos National Lab this Tuesday. Manager types will be in there tomorrow. Two weeks vacation, under these circumstances anyway, is more than I want...


``So I called up George and he called up Jim, I said let's make a deal.

He said he'd talk to him. Gonna start a church where you can save yourself,

You can make some noise, When you've got no choice...

You told me useful things, what people think of me, I guess I should thank you.

It's true, then I agree... I'm all alone, I've got no choice,

I'm all alone, I've got no choice."

From ``Got No Choice" by the incomparable Mark Cutler, from the CD Mark Cutler and Useful Things.

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904.

Standby lists:

Mike Barno, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Paul Rauterberg, Stan Johnson, Randy Ellis, Bob Acheson, Heath Gardner, Phil Reynolds, Paul Kenny, Dan Gorham, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy.

Phil Reynolds, Chris Trent, and Jim Sayers stand by for the Colonial Diplomacy game.

Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Phil Reynolds, Jim Sayers, and Kurt Ozog stand by for the Modern Diplomacy game.

Art Schleinkofer and Harold Reynolds stand by for Colonia. Help, more are needed for this game, maps are provided for free by me.... or by Harold Reynolds (see below) just ask.

Let me know if you want on or off these lists, especially OFF. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks.


Eric Ozog will be running Air-Sea Diplomacy some time in the future. You can contact Eric at ElfEric of if you are interested in the game. I'll publish the rules closer to a time when Eric wants it to start.

The only Diplomacy oriented opening left that I am GMing in this szine is an opening for a game of Star Trek Diplomacy! These will be the last Diplomacy game openings until more games end. See Stephen Agar's rules on his web page at (new location, and including that little typo on ``start trek''):

I decided how I will treat the Star systems and the ``revolving rings'' rule. I will keep the map as a ``code" and the real locations (which I will provide as names from Star Trek) will rotate through the coded spaces. This WILL make it easy to make up maps. The game start is open now, and since I want to STRONGLY encourage press, you can sign up and ``claim'' a race. Chris Trent claims the Ferengi, Stephen Agar claims the Borg, and Jody McCullough claims the Romulans. Buddy Tretick and Roland Sasseville, Jr., also are set to play. Chris Lockheardt has stepped out of the sixth spot, so we now need THREE more players. This game also has the $20 game fee ($5 of that refundable for NMR insurance).

Then, for NON-Diplomacy oriented types. John Harrington is offering to guest GM a game of Office Politics. Any interest in that?? Let me or John know! I have one person signed up, but I've forgotten just this instant who it is.

Also, I am going to design some postal rules for Devil Take the Hindmost, and Chris Lockheardt is pulling out of that opening too, so I need three players. Eoghan Barry is signed up. Postal rules from me will be forthcoming shortly.

Stephen Agar runs a British Diplomacy mailing list and has a new broader web postal gaming web site too at:

and if you are interested, contact Stephen Agar at stephen of who still heads up The Diplomatic Pouch postal section or or join the Brit hobby mailing list at (aw, you guessed it, another new address):

FANTASTIC VOYAGE: 1999K, Regular Diplomacy


Winter 1902

AUSTRIA (Gorham): bld a tri; has a TRI, a VIE, a VEN, f ADR, a WAR, a SER.

ENGLAND (Biehl): bld f lvp; has f LVP, f ENG, f BRE, f NTH, a BEL.

FRANCE (Davis): R a bur-MAR; has a PAR, a MAR, f MID, a GAS.

GERMANY (Shreve): has a BUR, a MUN, f DEN, a PIC, a RUH.

ITALY (Tallman): R a ven-ROM; rem f wes; has a ROM, a TYO, a BOH.

RUSSIA (Tretick): has a MOS, f NWY, a UKR, a GAL.

TURKEY (Ellis): bld a con, f smy; has a CON, f SMY, a ARM, a BUL, f BLA, a SEV.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Dan Gorham, PO Box 279, Belmopan, BELIZE, CENTRAL AMERICA ($5)

Frdan of BTL.NET

ENGLAND: John Biehl, 8809 Delwood Drive, Delta, BRITISH COLUMBIA, V4C 4A1 CANADA,

(604) 589-9124 ($10); jeen of

FRANCE: Rick Davis, 1130 Hevrin Cr., Soledad, CA. 93960, (831) 678-4470

redavis914 of

GERMANY: Dwayne Shreve, 739 Union Church Road, Elkton, MD 21921 ($5)

dwayneshreve of

ITALY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0384 ($3)

terryt of

RUSSIA: Buddy Tretick, 9607 Conaty Circle, Spotsylvania, VA 22553, (540) 582-2356 (E-Mail)

batretick of

TURKEY: Randy Ellis, 3116 McGee, Apt. 1N, Kansas City, MO 64111, (816) 931-8406 ($10)

surfeit of

Game Notes:

1) Note Randy Ellis' new E-Mail address.


(GERMANY W '02): Build A Par

(BOOB to GERMANY): Right....

(RUSSIA): Russia builds army St. Petersburg for a Flying Dutchman, hoping this will cause the Turkey ... errrrrrrrrrr ... Turkish Sulking ... errrrrrrr ... Sultan ... to mess his tunic.

(TUR to RUS): Too late! I now have more than just ``one landlocked fleet"! Wishful thinking, my friend, about an A-I alliance. I just don't think it's in the cards.

(VANCOUVER INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, A SUBURB OF MOSCOW): Mealy Mouth Larvae and Lacewing Droppings Press. The Russian Tzar was roaming around Vancouver International Airport, trying to seize up a plan for international terrorism there when he spotted the foul smelling, cigar smoking, pot-bellied Prime Minister, who was waiting to way-lay Buddy [that's the type of guy he is, huh!]. The Tzar dashed behind the oyster bar and waited and watched ... and waited and watched. Wouldn't you know it, there was Buddy, walking briskly towards the Prime Minister, lugging suitcases like a pack-horse might do. The two [no, not the horse and the Prime Minister] sat on a rather long bench and chatted, and spoke, and even talked, to and around one another. The Primie seemed to change the subject so much that Buddy began frothing at the mouth. A hour rolled by, and Buddy's plane loaded, and left the ramp without him. Once more, the Primie left Buddy hanging in the lurch. The Tzar took out his gat and silencer [that would be his wife], and took a bead on the Prime Minister. A silent shot was not heard ringing out across the chasm of the airport. The Prime Minister faltered [no, he was not shot ... he always falters]. Airport Police, on their bicycles no less, raced towards the Tzar. The Tzar quickly whipped out [no, not that, Shrevey] his Persona non Grata papers, smiled in his usually weird manner, and boarded his private plane, never more to be seen in Canada ... not alive, anyway. Primie, shaken no less [no, not that kind of shaken, Shrevey!], headed for the men's room to clean his pants. He heard a voice from the past, his mother's voice, saying, ``Primie, you wash you mouth out with soap! Ya hear?" With that said and done, Shrevey sniffed once again at his lutefisk-haggis stew, and decided a cold Mythos was better. He then took the potatoes out of the stew pot and dumped in four bottles of Mythos, got out two straws, and said, ``This is the last straw!", and threw the straw box into the dust bin.

(TUR to FRA): Good luck. O'Donnell certainly left you a mess...

(TZAR BUDDY to SULTAN RANDLYLESSNESS): Lutefisk and Haggis Stew Press. The Sultan was busy, practicing trying to get egg from his face. He peered out the window that was a large door, and saw his peer, the Tzar, racing his white stallion down the slopes of a nearby Turkish mountainside. The Sultan raced into the closet from whence he just emerged, and let out a scream that could be heard all the way to the outside of the closet door. when he discovered that he had stuffed his crying towel into his mouth, he removed the towel and screamed once more, splattering spit all over the inside of the closet door. Feeling a little wet, he noticed that he had gone into the wrong closet ... he was in the water closet. He said, ``Oh, well, I needed this anyway!" The rumble of a toilet paper roll was soon muffled by the sound of flushing water. A loud burp was then heard all the way down the hallway. The Sultan reached for more paper. Actually, the burp was caused by the mixture of lutefisk, haggis, and Mythos beer.

(TUR to AUS): Let's get 'em. Can't let E-G totally dominate this game.

(RUSSIA to TURKEY): Sorry to talk so far over your head. Let me simplify things a bit. Turkey is going down. Got it?

(OTTOMAN PEOPLE'S PRESS): The Turkish 1st division, fighting infidels bravely in the Ukraine, has went on to greater glory beyond the physical realm. The unit was assailed by heretics from Russia and though they fought bravely to the last man, the division was ultimately destroyed 20 kilometers south and west of Kiev. A new division has been recruited in Anatolia to replace the martyrs. Sultan El Ahbid Ellis promised that ``The Russians will pay for this outrage many times" and he pledged aid to his ally to the West, Archduke Franz Daniel Gorham. The Turkish navy has recently doubled in size and a flotilla is said to be ready to sail West to bring much needed stability to the chaos surrounding the Ionian Sea.

(Sometimes I Feel Like) FLETCHER CHRISTIAN: 1999Cgh013, Colonia VIIb Diplomacy


Winter 1753

AUSTRIA (Prosnitz): bld f tahiti, f surinam, f naples; has f TAHITI, f SURINAM, f NAPLES,



CHINA (Acheson): R a nepal-BHUTAN; bld f peking; has f PEKING, a SINKIANG, a TIBET,



ENGLAND (Power): bld f malaya, a nigeria, a london; has f MALAYA, a NIGERIA, a LONDON,






NETHERLANDS (O'Donnell): rem a virginia, f sargasso sea, a rhine; has f CORAL SEA,


OTTOMAN (Johnson): bld f baghdad, f hawaii; has f BAGHDAD, f HAWAII, a IZMIR, a SUEZ,






RUSSIA (Rauterberg): R a mongolia otb; bld f cape colony, f vladivostok, a st.petersburg;




SPAIN (Partridge): R a sudan-NUBIA; bld f somalia, f manila, a valencia, f mexico(wc);




Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Prosnitz): BUD,VIE,SUR,TRI,TAH,ven,bav, (has 16)
CHINA (Acheson): PEK,WUH,XIA,AMO,tib,tai, (has 11)
ENGLAND (Power): NIG,MLA,EDI,LON,kam,peru, (has 13, bld 3)
FRANCE (Alme): PAR,DAK,TOU,QUE,BDX,tau,ohi, (has 11)
NETHERLANDS (O'Donnell): ANT,MEL,lou,vir,uga,sam (has 6)
OTTOMAN (Johnson): IZM,JER,BAG,IST,HAW,persia, (has 17)
PORTUGAL (Stimmel): GOA,BRA,manit,mah,arg,azo, (has 11)
RUSSIA (Rauterberg): MOS,KIE,CAP,STP,VLA,CRI, (has 17)
SPAIN (Partridge): MAD,MEX,SOM,VAL,MAN,cal, (has 18)
Neutral: bur,cey,cub,die,ifn,mor,nat, (Total=136)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Gene Prosnitz, 2600 Netherland Ave., Apt. 1116, Riverdale, NY 10463, (718) 601-8131 ($5)

ProsnitzE of

CHINA: Bob Acheson, 807-556 Laurier Ave., Ottawa, ONTARIO K1R 7X2, CANADA ($5)

racheson of

ENGLAND: John Power, 5043 Lymbar Dr., Houston, TX 77096, (713) 283-8962 ($5)

nat-john of

FRANCE: Hank Alme, 506 Paige Loop, Los Alamos, NM 87544

almehj of

NETHERLANDS: Sean O'Donnell, 2219 Grafton Road, Grafton, OH 44044

sean_o_donnell of, seanside of

OTTOMAN: Stan Johnson, 2401 W. Southern Ave. #56, Tempe, AZ 85282, (602) 454-9356 ($5)

PORTUGAL: Robert Stimmel, Apt. #57, Casa de Sherry Apts., 2462 North Sycamore Blvd.,

Tucson, AZ 85712-2541, (520) 326-8369 ($5)

RUSSIA: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

SPAIN: Dave Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033

rebhuhn of

Game Notes:

1) Sean O'Donnell has worked out his communication problems and is staying in the game (yay!). Thanks to Art Schleinkofer for being available, though not needed.

2) We are testing a new map, courtesy of Harold Reynolds, this issue. Ordinarily I don't publish a map with Winter, but I wanted to test this as an extra. Please let me know which map you would prefer. The original of this map is in color and includes shaded home center provinces. In black and white, these shadings are visible to one extent or another on the maps. Rather than take these shadings out, I decided to leave them since they may be helpful for home center comparisons by these powers.


SECRETS: 1999D, Regular Diplomacy



Spring 1904

AUSTRIA (Zarr): a ser-tri (d r:gre,otb).

ENGLAND (Sayers): f lon-NTH, f bre-MID, f nth-SKA, f mid-POR.

FRANCE (Sasseville): f GOL-spa(sc), f TYH-wes, a pic-PAR, a pie-MAR.


a MUN h, f HOL h, a BUR h, a BEL h.

ITALY (Schultz): f NAP-rom, a VEN-rom, f WES-spa(sc), a VIE-tri,

f TUN h, a TRI-ser, a BUD S a tri-ser.

RUSSIA (Trent): f stp(nc)-NWY, a war-UKR, a pru-BER, f swe-BAL,

a fin-SWE, a SEV S a war-ukr.

TURKEY (Munson): f smy-AEG, f gre-ALB, a alb-SER, f BLA S a rum, a RUM S a alb-ser,

a BUL S a alb-ser.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

hdzarr of

ENGLAND: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA ($10)

100233.513 of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

GERMANY: Stan Johnson, 2401 W. Southern Ave. #56, Tempe, AZ 85282, (602) 454-9356

GERMANY: Standby is Randy Ellis, 3116 McGee, Apt. 1N, Kansas City, MO 64111, (816) 931-8406

surfeit of

ITALY: John Schultz, PO Box 1322, Valparaiso, IN 46384, (219) 462-0474

RUSSIA: Chris Trent, 3536 Watt Avenue, #B205, Sacramento, CA 95821, (916) 685-7772 ($5)

chrisimaus98 of

TURKEY: Scott Munson, P.O. Box 1042, Gardiner, MT 59030 ($5)

samunson71 of

Game Notes:

1) Note John Schultz's new phone number and Chris Trent's new address. Chris, is your phone number still the same???


(TSAR KRISTOF - SULTAN ALI-SCOTT): I apologize for the southward movements but I really have to keep an eye on those ``fishing fleets'' in the Baltic.

(TSAR KRISTOF - KING JAMES OF ENGLAND): Per our communique, the fleet movements through Norway are not of hostile design. Also, when you say ``bangers and mash'' you kinda sound funny.

(TSAR KRISTOF - KING JOHN OF ITALY): Wait a minute.... aren't you in the wrong country? Now that you've annexed the evil Austro-Hungarian Empire, Russia would like to officially place her trust in you to defend the Slavs and their lands.

(TRENT - EVERYBODY): I apologize for being out of the loop. I'm here to stay now... knock on wood.

(ZARR-BURGESS): I hope that this move ends my position in this game. After having been a staunch player of the game for about twelve years now, I'm in the process of getting out of the hobby. I have found that between the work load at the college, my duties as president of a university alumni association, and my family obligations, I just don't have the time, energy or interest to put into the game anymore. Please keep any money I've sent you once my position has ended. Please don't send me anymore issues of your diplomacy magazine once I am out of this game. Thanks. ((Well, you aren't out yet, at least not until you do or don't retreat to Greece. I understand, of course, but will be sorry to lose you.))

SADDAM HUSSEIN: 1999Arn42, Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy - Black Hole Variant



Fall 1905

AUSTRIA (Reichert): a GAL-ser, a ser-gre (d r:bud,alb,otb);

and nuked BRE, MAR(2), PAR(2), POR, SPA; owns bud(1).

ENGLAND (Schultz): f NTH C a yor-nwy, a yor-NWY, f NWG S a yor-nwy; and nuked

BER, KIE, MUN(2), ROM(2), VEN(3); owns edi,lvp,lon,nwy(4).

FRANCE (Gardner): has none; and nukes withheld; owns none.

GERMANY (Barno): f hel-DEN, a sil-HOL, a ruh-BEL; and nuked

GM, INDIANA DOC OFFICES, TUN, RUM, ENG; owns den,hol,bel(3).

ITALY (S. Kenny): f APU-gre, a pie-TRI; and nuked

TYH, ION, GOL, MAR(2), SEV; owns tri(1).

RUSSIA (McCullough): f fin-SWE, a ukr-MOS, a PRU-war; and nuked VEN(3),

TUS, ROM(2), NAP; owns mos,stp,swe(3).

TURKEY (Weiss): f CON S a bul, a BUL S a arm-ser, a arm-SER; and nuked

MUN(2), VIE, VEN(3), PAR(2), WAR; owns con,smy,ank,bul,ser(5).

Addresses of the Participants

Sandy Kenny, 23 East Coulter Avenue, Collingswood, NJ 08108-1208

Jody McCullough, 1071 Brown Avenue, Lafayette, CA 94549-3153

jodymc of

Richard Weiss, 2777 Northtowne Lane, Apt V 1105, Reno, NV 89512

rcw23 of or diplomat of

Sara Reichert, 20805 Margaret, Carson, CA 90745-1224

sarareichert of

John Schultz, PO Box 1322, Valparaiso, IN 46384, (219) 462-0474

Heath Gardner, 3017 Mayview Road, Raleigh, NC 27607, (919) 834-4832

hgardner of

Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883

mpbarno of

Current Standings

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 TOTAL

SANDY KENNY  4  3  0  5  1 13
JODY MCCULLOUGH  3  1  6  1  3 14
RICHARD WEISS  4  1  0  5  5 15
SARA REICHERT  1  2  2  4  1 10
JOHN SCHULTZ  0  6  2  2  4 14
HEATH GARDNER  5  0  3  0  0  8
MIKE BARNO  0  5  4  3  3 15
Black Holed 15 15 16 11 16 73
Neutral  2  1  1  3  1  8

Total 34 34 34 34 34 170

Times GM Nuked  1  1  3  5  1 11
Ind. Prison Off.  0  0  1  1  1  3
Greenland  1  0  0  0  0  1
Iceland  1  0  0  0  0  1
Kurt Ozog  0  1  0  0  0  1
Beale St., SF  0  1  0  0  0  1

Game Notes:

1) In the next round, Richard Weiss will be Austria, Sara Reichert will be England, John Schultz will be France, Heath Gardner will be Germany, Mike Barno will be Italy, Sandy Kenny will be Russia (remember only four nukes!), and Jody McCullough will be Turkey. Note John Schultz' new phone number.


(SARA-CALCUTTA): As an office temp, I keep coming across interesting tidbits about words. For example, a friend who speaks Russian informs me that, in the Russian language, the term ``black hole" is an obscenity that means exactly what you just now thought it meant. As for copyright violations, you will have to sue a multitude of astronomers and physicists. How many lawyers can you afford?

(MIKE to JOHN): Since my IDOC-office nukes helped spring you, might you lay off my home centers now? Looks like I'll be safely out of the lead. Do you still have the nat'l-parks-&-nat'l-monuments book I sent you? Hope you'll be using it with a Harley.

(SARA-GM): I stopped by THE DIPLOMATIC POUCH and found TAP #232 there. I assume that my hard copy will arrive in a few days. It will be delayed, as it has to be forwarded to me here in Winnemucca. (New job, not sure how long it will last, so no permanent COA yet.) But now that I have reliable e-mail, you can save some money and stop sending me hard copies. I'll just use what is available at the POUCH. Mail sent to my Carson address will be promptly forwarded. ((Thanks, but no thanks.... postal versions still go out to everyone. Hope you enjoy Winnemucca!))

(SARA-SADDAM HUSSEIN): In regards to cross-posting press, your ridiculous opinion has been noted.

COME AND HAVE A GO (If You Think You're Hard Enough): 1998V, Diplomacy



Fall 1905

AUSTRIA (Pollard): a gal-WAR, a UKR S a gal-war, a SER S f bul(sc), a BUD S a rum,

f BUL(SC) h, a war-LVN, a RUM S a ukr.

ENGLAND (Tallman): f kie-HEL, f SWE S f nwy, f NWY S GERMAN f hel-nth.

FRANCE (Morris): f mid-ENG, a mun S ITALIAN a boh-sil (d r:kie,sil,tyo,otb),

f LON-nth, a BEL S f nth-hol, f nth-HOL, a BUR-ruh, a PIC S a bel.

GERMANY (Sayers): f hel-NTH, a RUH S a hol-bel, a ber-MUN,

a hol-bel (d r:kie,otb).

ITALY (Munson): f EAS S f gre-aeg, f gre-AEG, f nwg-EDI, f CLY S f nwg-edi,

a tyo-VEN, a BOH S GERMAN a ber-mun.

RUSSIA (Reynolds): f edi h (d r:yor,otb), a MOS S TURKISH a sev, a STP S a mos.

TURKEY (Barno): f SMY-aeg, a CON-bul, f BLA S a sev, a SEV S RUSSIAN a mos.

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Pollard): vie,bud,tri,rum,ser,war,bul (has 7, even)
ENGLAND (Tallman): swe,nwy,den (has 3, even)
FRANCE (Morris): bre,par,mar,spa,por,bel,lon, (has 6 or 7, bld 2(r:kie,otb) or 1)
GERMANY (Sayers): ber,kie?,mun (has 3 or 4, rem 1)
ITALY (Munson): rom,ven,nap,tun,lvp,gre,edi (has 6, bld 1)
RUSSIA (Reynolds): mos,stp (has 2 or 3, even(r:otb) or rem 1)
TURKEY (Barno): ank,smy,con,sev (has 4, even)
Neutral: none (Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Kent Pollard, P.O. box 5726, Fresno, CA 93755-5726 ($4)

ENGLAND: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0384 ($3)

terryt of

FRANCE: Scott Morris, 12110 Shelbyville Rd., Louisville, KY 40243, (502) 893-8260 ($5)

Scottm221 of

GERMANY: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA ($10)

100233.513 of

ITALY: Scott Munson, P.O. Box 1042, Gardiner, MT 59030 ($5)

samunson71 of

RUSSIA: Phil Reynolds, 2896 Oak Street, Sarasota, FL 34237, (813) 953-6952

preyno of

TURKEY: Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883 ($5)

mpbarno of

Game Notes:

1) Ummm... it seems I should say something here.


(EMMERT to BOARD): Did somebody say mint juleps? Actually, I have heard that the juleps they serve at the Derby are pre-made, en masse, and are watered down and horrible. I'll mix my own, thanks, unless I know I've got a good bartender (of southern extraction; I will never allow a damn Yankee to mix my julep for me) who's making them one at a time, using first-rate bourbon. ((Of course, I knew I could count on you!! Now Scott... well, you will be able to tell which one... goes nuts. And then... well, read it yourself.))

(FRANCE to RUSSIA): Phil, you twisted narco addict. What were you high on when you told the Pope those lies?? OUT OF ENGLAND WITH THEE! Christians may offer forgiveness but we burn traitors here. You are a replacement here, so I still love ya though.

(PALACE OF BATTENING HATCHES DOWN): I won't be inspired to write any press until the highly amusing Big Stab. Don't worry, Impending Victim, it isn't you they're whispering about.

(DIPLOMATIC CORPS WEBMASTER to TAP WEBMASTER): The latest update adds your International Subscription Exchange to the postally useful stuff listings, and a new Awards page including your committee's Hobby Awards ballot as well as the Marco Poll. We also added Diplomacy contact people in our tenth and eleventh nations, and assorted other bits. ((This is of course.....))

(FRANCE to ENGLAND): Terry, you have lapsed back into your coma? The Question is can you match your press from last issue? Please beat me up again big boy. OOOOOOO, You better run and hide up north cause the boogie man's coming and it ain't light blue.


VARONE): I must attest to your recent conduct. ((Really!)) It was indecent, unholy and by God uncivilized. ((You sound like Stuart Smalley, wasn't that his name??)) Even Dante's Virgil & Co. only received a fart from a demon. What you did, surpassed his most flatulent move... Rotting! Urine soaked, Turkish soldiers is a sight that I hope no man will ever see again...

(FIELD MARSHAL JON RHODEHAMEL to THE RUSSIAN HIGH COMMAND): The War between our Nations has never ended. Perhaps an end shall be made...

(AMBASSADOR POLLARD IN A REMARK MADE TO HUEY STRONG): I have not heard from many of za Ambassadors of late...The Emperor has decided to wage total war on za silent...

(FRANCE to WORLD): Hmmmm, who else can I insult. Sayers? .... NAH......... Barno? No, I love Barno's hair too much.......... ((What hair???)) Kent? VE HAV VAYS of making you write. ((You mean like whatever you call that up above??)) Got to pick up the letters mein comrade.........Pope? .....HELL NO! Anyone named Scott has to rule.

(BOOB to BOARD): And finally, a return to sanity....

(AND ANOTHER THING FROM EMMERT): My family comprises horseracing fans for about six minutes a year, during the three Triple Crown races. I mix a julep apiece for my wife and myself, and make something called a mint Boolep for my daughter (who is occasionally referred to as ``Boo"), consisting of root beer and a mint sprig. One of our rites of spring. ((And a good thing these things are....))

SO GOOD IT HURTS: 1998 P, Regular Diplomacy


Winter 1905

AUSTRIA (K. Ozog): bld f tri; has f TRI, a SER, a BUD, a RUM, a VIE, f BUL(SC), a ROM, a GRE.

ENGLAND (James): rem f naf; has a BRE, f MID, f WES, f STP(NC), f TYH, f NWY, a SPA.

FRANCE (Kinney): bld f mar; has f MAR, a GAS.

GERMANY (Goesle): R f nwy-NTH; bld f kie, f ber; has f KIE, f BER, a TYO, a MUN, a VEN,

f BAL, f NTH, a BEL, a BUR.

ITALY (Rauterberg): rem a boh, f ion; has f TUS, a NAP.

RUSSIA (Rusnak): bld a war; has a WAR, a SMY, a UKR, f SEV, a ANK.

TURKEY (Emmert): rem f con; has f AEG.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Kurt Ozog, 391 Wilmington Drive, Bartlett, IL 60103, (630) 837-2813

heyday6 of

ENGLAND: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956 ($5)

dkbn of

FRANCE: Mark Kinney, 4820 Westmar Terrace #6, Louisville, KY 40222, (502) 412-3079

alberich of

GERMANY: Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235 ($5)

gozcorp of

ITALY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($5)

prosit of

RUSSIA: Russ Rusnak, 1551 Highridge Avenue, Westchester, IL 60154-3428 ($5)


TURKEY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456-5436, (757) 471-1842 ($4)

Lse of or semmert of

Game Notes:

1) And something here???


(JAMES to GM): This game has been So Good, but now It Hurts! One of the joys of Diplomacy is how quickly things can change, but I like it more when it changes for the better, speaking of which...

(ENGLAND to FRANCE): OK, OK, I'm eating my words. Yes, I know, you might even last longer and end up bigger than me. I can hear you laughing from here.

(EMMERT to RUSNAK): Hold on; I need to look up some more four-letter Anglo-Saxon words to use in my composition on your ancestry and your personal habits. It should be ready momentarily.

(BOOB to EMMERT): I sincerely doubt that you have anything to teach Russ on that score. I hope your Worldmasters Second Round game doesn't look disturbingly like your position here in short order.

(TURKEY to GERMANY AND ENGLAND): I take it it's too late for me to redeem all those kind notes you guys sent me over the course of the game, encouraging me that help was coming.

(JAMES to EMMERT): Can you believe that German! You would think that alliances are forever. A long alliance ending in a two way is every bit as good as rewarding as a win, don't you think? I think you have some old emails hanging around where you explain that in great detail - could you forward them on to Goz for me please.

(GERMANY to ENGLAND): I had problems looking at the map when I got new glasses too.

(STEVE to PAUL): So, how's it feel to be almost as crippled as I am?

(JAMES to GOZ): Listen up to what Steve is about to tell you.

(VIRGINIA BEACH to BOARD): Okay, okay. Firm predictions on the season. You guys have done it, so I guess I should do the same. AL: Texas, Cleveland, and New York win the divisions; Seattle takes the wild card over the Red Sox. Cleveland goes to the Series. NL: Arizona, Houston, and Atlanta win the divisions; St. Louis wins the wild card. Arizona goes to the Series and loses to the Indians. Randy Johnson wins the Cy AND the MVP in the NL; Manny Ramirez wins the AL MVP and Pedro picks up another Cy. Howzat?

(GOZ to BOOB): I think you covered everything except who you have the Cards beating in the Series. Who's the AL champ? ((Damn it, it's the Red Sox, it's the Red Sox, it's the Red Sox. Go ahead, bring the curse down upon me yet again.... it's all YOUR fault!!))

(JAMES to WORLD): I saw the knife a mile away. I let him put it in deep so that I wouldn't have to read any more MLB press. When does college basketball start again? ((We've got strange feelings about that around here. Providence College expelled four players for assaulting some bar bouncers - all handled SCRUTIATINGLY appropriately in stark contrast to the University from Indiana - so we're lookin' at another tough season! But at least we can feel good that we did the right thing. Keep Head Coach Tim Welsh in your thoughts..... he needs all the help he can get. Hey, Richard, wanna send your son out here???))

(ENGLAND to GERMANY): We will fight you on the beaches...

(MORE VIRGINIA BEACH MUSINGS): I am about to reach the stage of clinical depression over the Stanley Cup playoffs. In the second round, I was rooting for San Jose, Detroit, Pittsburgh, and Toronto. Every damn one of them lost, leaving us with the most boring possible combinations of teams for the conference finals. I suppose I will transfer a very lukewarm rooting interest (and, judging from the results in the last round, a curse) unto Colorado and Philadelphia to reach the Cup finals. If the finalists are actually New Jersey and Dallas, I (sigh) may not watch; those are probably my two least favorite teams in the league. Bring on next season already. ((Hey, I'll join THAT club....))

(LONDON to ITALY AND RUSSIA): Looks like us vs them. Sorry that I used to be a ``them" and not an ``us".



Turn 6 (corrected points scored last turn in parentheses)

51 (replenish with a 3): Mark(1), Luke, Darrell C
50 (replenish with a 6): Darrell B(3), John(2)
49 (no replenishment): None
48 (replenish with a 3): White Rabbit(6), Matthew(5), Darrell A(4)
47 (replenish with a 6): Sir Isaac Newton(10), Mad Hatter
46 (replenish with a 8): Shane the Chain, Barkin' Larkin'
45 (replenish with a 10): Broke Leg Meg
44 (replenish with a 11): Mock Turtle(8), Will Shakespeare
43 (no replenishment): None
42 (replenish with a 3): John Logie-Baird, Alfred the Great, Chasin' Jason
41 (no replenishment): None

-S-P-R-I-N-T- -F-I-N-I-S-H- -L-I-N-E-

40 (replenish with a 3): Pollution, Pestilence, Buhrt
39 (replenish with a 6): March Hare, War
38 (no replenishment): None
37 (no replenishment): None
36 (no replenishment): None
35 (no replenishment): None
34 (replenish with a 3): Famine

Addresses of the Participants - Their Team and Their Cards (x) is played card this turn

TEAM 1 (The Wrecking Crew): Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202

(0 points) Tapmdfrance of

Team Leader: Thanatos
A: War 15 15 6 (3)
B: Pollution 9 3 13 (5)
C: Pestilence 7 3 14 (6)
D: Famine 15 3 12 (3)

TEAM 2 (The Evangelists): Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02492

(8 points) 72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

A: Matthew 3 3 3 6 (3)
B: Mark 3 13 15 (9)
C: Luke 3 4 15 (11)
D: John 11 6 3 (7)

TEAM 3 (Brit Pack): John Harrington, 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex, EN1 3UW UK

(10 points) johnh of, fiendish of

A: Alfred the Great 3 13 11 3 (4)
B: Sir Isaac Newton 6 6 6 (3)
C: Will Shakespeare 10 11 11 (3)
D: John Logie-Baird 13 3 11 (4)

TEAM 4 (Amateur League Inciting Cycle Exchange): Tom Howell, 1011 West 18th Street #1,

(14 points) Port Angeles, WA 98363-7413; off-the-shelf of

A: White Rabbit 14 7 3 6 (3)
B: March Hare 15 6 11 (3)
C: Mad Hatter 13 14 6 (9)
D: Mock Turtle 10 8 11 (3)

TEAM 5 (The Mainiacs): David Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033

(7 points) rebhuhn of

A: Darrell A 3 6 3 3 (3)
B: Darrell B 6 12 9 (7)
C: Darrell C 3 15 3 (12)
D: Buhrt 3 3 4 (6)

TEAM 6 (The Flat Wheel Society): John Schultz, PO Box 1322, Valparaiso, IN 46384, (219) 462-0474

(0 points)

A: Broke Leg Meg 15 3 10 10 (14)
B: Shane the Chain 15 8 6 (12)
C: Barkin' Larkin' 15 8 3 (15)
D: Chasin' Jason 15 3 3 (9)

Game Notes:

1) I did have a mistake last time, corrected above. I had the order of checking for breaking ties in awarding sprint points mixed up. Thanks to Tom Howell, David Partridge, and Eric Brosius for being patient with me.


(BUHRT): Dang contraption. Next time I'm racing in my Lawbstah bowt!

(DARRELL - TFWS): Nice cards, now ya gotta use em!

(BRIT PACK): Hey, does John Schultz get a breaking away bonus?

(BRIT PACK): White rabbit! Wanna rabbit! White rabbit, wanna rabbit of my own

(RABBIT to BOOB): Oh, yeah! I forgot. Gotta get me some of that mushroom...

(RABBIT to TURTLE): Gonna stomp some big rabbit feet around here pretty soon!

(HATTER to HARE): Wanna try some of mine. They'll make you a krispna hare.

(HATTER to RACE DIRECTOR): Sure! 13's always been my lucky number. That's how many years I been working the beaver trade.

(ALICE to MANIACS): Looks to me like you're hanging in there ok.

(ALICE to DESPERATE): Oh, oh, did we just mess up?

(ALICE to FLAT WHEELERS): You staging a come from behind victory?

(SHAKESPEARE to BROKE LEG MEG): I hope you are going to do the decent thing and move to square 45. ((You win the jackpot for the right guess! But 43 is the empty square!! And.... let me guess.... Sir Isaac ends up on square 53 next time....))

(FIELD - RABBIT): It could be a good time to play that 14! ((Everyone lookin' for 14's - not this time....))

(TAX COLLECTOR): All these denarii seem to be slowing me down.

(ALFRED THE GREAT): I hope no one was relying on me moving to square 41 this turn. I didn't want to be accused of chasing Chasin' Jason.

(DARRELL - WHITE RABBIT): Ah'm plum tuckered, mind if I hop a ride?

FEAR AND WHISKEY: 1998Ers31, Modern Diplomacy


Summer 2002

BRITAIN (Schultz): has f NTH, f NOR, a MUR, f NWG, f STP, f ENG, f MAO.

EGYPT (J. O'Donnell): has f RED, a ADA, a ALG, f GOL, a BOS, a IRN, f SAO, a URA, f AEG.

GERMANY (Rauterberg): has f BHM, f HOL, a MUN, a BEL, a PIC, f DEN, a LIT, a CZE, a WAR,

a SLO, a PAR, a SWI, f HAM, a LYO, f SKA, a KRA.

ITALY (Ozog): R f ist-IZM; has f TYH, f MAL, a ROM, a CRO, a AUS,

f LIG, a MIL, f ION, a MON, f MAR, a PIE, f IZM.

SPAIN (S. O'Donnell): has f SVE, a BAR, a POR, a AUV, f WME, a BOR, a NAV.

UKRAINE (Partridge): has a ANK, a VOL, a MOS, a POD, a LAT, f WBS, a GOR, a BIE, f IST,

a GEO, a SER, a HUN.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: John Schultz, PO Box 1322, Valparaiso, IN 46384, (219) 462-0474

EGYPT: Jeff O'Donnell, 402 Middle Ave., Elyria, OH 44035-5728, (440) 322-2920 ($4)

FRANCE: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202 ($5)

Tapmdfrance of

GERMANY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

ITALY: Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138, (360) 691-4264 ($4)

ElfEric of

POLAND: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

RUSSIA: Randy Ellis, 3116 McGee, Apt. 1N, Kansas City, MO 64111, (816) 931-8406

surfeit of

SPAIN: Sean O'Donnell, 2219 Grafton Road, Grafton, OH 44044 ($5)

sean_o_donnell of, seanside of

TURKEY: Kent Pollard, 1541 W. San Jose, Fresno, CA 93711, (209) 225-0957 ($10)

UKRAINE: Dave Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033 ($8)

rebhuhn of

Game Notes:

1) Check out the Modern Dip web page at:

2) Note John Schultz' new phone number.


(THE MEKONS QUOTE OF THE MONTH): Uhh... how about a real short one, ``hold me tight'' from ``Fear and Whiskey''.

(GUEST PRESS: 1998V TURKEY to RUSSIA): Would this be a good time to review the specifications defining ``All the way dead" status?

(1998V TURKEY to THIS GAME'S TURKEY): Never forget your six-centers-to-zero experience. Therein lies your greatest truth to guide your journey through diplomatic challenges.

SHOW ME THE MONEY: 1997Mea04, Colonial Diplomacy


Summer 1909

BRITAIN (York): has a DEL, a MAD, f ADEN, f ERI, f HK, f CAM, f ARA(NC), a PUN.

FRANCE (Sasseville): R a mad-MYS; has a TON, a HYD, f CAN, a MAY, a RAN,

a MYS, a U.BUR.

HOLLAND (Desper): R a ran-BAN; has a SAR, f SUL.S, f WIO, f COC, f BOB, f FOR, f RS, f MP,

a BAN, f GOS, f SCS.

JAPAN (K. Ozog): has f VLA, a SHA, a IRK, f ECS, f NAN, a PEK, f UP, f P.ART, f YS, a MAC.

RUSSIA (Williams): has a AKM, f BS, a KRA, a AFG, a KAR, a MON, a KAM, a NAG, a SIK, a PER,

f EGY, a MEC, a YUN, a SHI, a LAN, a TIB, a CHU.

TURKEY (Tallman): has a BAG, f SUD.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Andy York, PO Box 201117, Austin, TX 78720-1117

wandrew of

CHINA: Rich Goranson, 4351 Chestnut Ridge Road, #7 Amherst, NY, 14228-3227 ($5)

ForlornH of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

HOLLAND: Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY (E-Mail)

rick_desper of or desper of

JAPAN: Kurt Ozog, 391 Wilmington Drive, Bartlett, IL 60103, 630-837-2813

heyday6 of

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (661) 297-3947 ($4)

wllmsfmly of

TURKEY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0384 ($0)

terryt of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Victory in the game is hereby declared to be 29 centers. I've been debating this one for awhile in my head (with some discussion from some of you) and that is my decision. It is final....


(Scene - the Broslofski house. Kyle is reading ``The Diary of Anne Frank".)

Kyle: What a boring book! (Throws book away just as his mother is walking by.)

Sheila Broslofski: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?! Have you no respect for your heritage? (grabs book from trash) We must always remember the Holocaust! (to herself) We've got to teach these kids the importance of history. Time to take a trip to Amsterdam to visit the Anne Frank house!

(a few days later, at a PTA meeting. Mrs. Broslofski has the floor.)

SB: ...and do to its historical significance, I suggest that the kids should take a trip to Amsterdam.

Another parent: But isn't Amsterdam dangerous and corrupt?

SB: Oh no, those Dutch are such sweet people! Windmills and wooden shoes, tulips, dikes and canals. What could be sweeter?

(Eventually they agree to send all the kids to Amsterdam. Mr. Garrison, Mr. Mackey, Big Gay Al, and, of course, Chef, are the chaperones.)

(Scene: fifty kids and the three adults pull into their hotel across from the Amsterdam Central Station.)

Mr. Garrison: OK, everybody get off the bus. We've got to get into the hotel and get to sleep. It's getting late.

Stan: Mr. Garrison, what does ``tobacco-free cigarettes" mean? I see them for sale in the coffee shop across the street.

Mr. Mackey: Now Stan, you all remember the sample joint I gave you, mm-kay? You got to stay out of that store, mm-kay?

Stan: Mm-kay Mr. Mackey! (Mr. Macky turns his back and Stan immediately runs off.)

(Chef and Al have been whispering).

Chef: Mr. Mackey, do you think you and Mr. Garrison can take care of checking in? Al and I will take care of, um, ``supplies" for tomorrow's trip to the Anne Frank house.

Mr. Mackey: MM-kay, that sounds good. See you both in a bit!

(Chef and Al high-five. They walk away towards a district strangely lit by a lot of red lights.)

Eric Cartman: Hey, Mr. Garrison, where's the Biergarten? I want some Wiener Schnitzel?

Kyle: Cartman you idiot, Biergartens are in Germany, and Wiener Schnitzel is in Austria!

Cartman: Oh right, ever see a kangaroo with Wiener Schnitzel? They don't have Wiener Schnitzel in Austria!

(Meanwhile, Kenny is sneaking away into the Holland Casino. Time for the Big Rollers.)

Mr. Garrison: OK, everybody here?

Cartman: Hey! Stan and Kenny are (he's interrupted by a smack from Kyle)! You punk! I'll slap you silly!

Kyle: Have to catch me first! (Runs upstairs.)

Cartman: Get back here you hippie tree-hugger!

(Stay tuned for more adventures of the lovable South Park kids in the most decadent city in Western civilization!)

Personal Note to You:

File translated from TEX by TTH, version 2.70.
On 29 May 2000, 14:40.