January 1, 2000

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287

Accessible through Internet at burgess of; FAX to (401) 277-9904

``Love, Love will tear us apart, again.... Love, Love will tear us apart, again...'', Ian Curtis as leader of Joy Division, from the song of that name..... yet:

``Regrets, yes I have many, but none so great as spurning your love.... cutting life from the hopes of an outstretched hand,

``Regrets, our secret cemeteries, where loves and loss are silently lain,

``The dream is fading faster now, and soon you'll slip beyond my recall.''

From ``Regrets'' by Anthony Phillips (the original guitarist for Genesis) on the album Wise After the Event. May Ian Curtis rest in peace and may music save lives, not destroy them, that's MY only regret..... see below.

Merry Christmas and a most happy Year 2000 to all of you. As you can all see, I did not get the szine out before Christmas and thus I decided to make it a New Year's Day spectacular. There is a surprising amount of interesting reading here, I hope. We should be able to stick with all of our deadlines anyway since it just moves my Christmas break to the other side of the schedule. Last issue's warehousey format had oodles of grammatical and spelling mistakes, I hope this one is better for the break and extra time spent working on it.


The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada, a bargain at twice the price.... but you can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and future game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $20.00 ($15.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). Note the price increases for games, with the rates for subbing to the szine holding fixed for the moment. After the current series of games, I probably won't start another until the Modern game ends. The new game at that point probably will be another Modern game with the ``Wing'' rule. There will be options for new games from subszines though, stay tuned.

Check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch with all of the information you need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at:

Through Stephen Agar's (who is still in charge here) Postal portion of the Pouch:

the szine resides in html format. Presently, issues from #190 to the current issue are there, and I will be updating the back issues gradually in the near future. Also, check out Stephen's new ``all electronic'' format for Spring Offensive at:

The most recent issue of TAP also can be accessed through Pete Sullivan's web page and occasionally David Wang's:

1) David has grabbed and reserved the HIGHLY prized name:!! David Wang's site also allows you to follow John Caruso's postal baseball league that I am in. We are currently in the off season bidding for free agents. I got Roberto Alomar and David Wells, so my team looks set to go for the World Series this year!

2) For the most recent issue of Pete Sullivan's subszine check out:

Pete is looking for Railway Rivals standbys, but otherwise, he is full with games at the moment.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!!


Our next person to search for (who should be relatively easy to find, since I think I know where he is) is Brenton Ver Ploeg. This actually is a search with a twist. I actually am offering up TWO $50 rewards. The first reward is finding for Brenton. The second is for resolving a certain mystery that currently exists in our hobby for which Brenton is particularly well qualified to solve. I will share with Brenton ALL of the information I currently have on this mystery and he will thus have the leg up to get the second $50 reward. I will tell the first reward winner who finds Brenton what the mystery is in general terms, so they will have some advantage as well. There also is one other person (he knows who he is) who also knows what the mystery is.

Let's get Kevin, Garret, Al, and ESPECIALLY Jerry found too!!! That's STILL a hint too.

This is a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Garret Schenck or Jerry Lucas or Al Pearson is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, finance a web page, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for.

This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.


The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 3UW, UK.

E-Mail: fiendish of or johnh of

Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally or in GBP to John if you're doing things from that end. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse. There has been some interest in finding a new Australian representative. Should someone Down Under have an interest, or from anywhere else in the world, please contact me.


If you've had your head under a tree, the World's Largest Diplomacy Tournament is currently underway by E-Mail, featuring over 550 players from all around the world. TAP readers who are participating are ENCOURAGED to write in commentaries on games, or teams, or whatever. You can see the commentary on the games by logging in as a guest at this website:

The Abyssinian Prince team currently is doing very well, with one game completed already in a Board Topping Performance by Jim O'Kelley! Congratulations to Jim!! My game is still very interesting but also very touch and go and Steve Emmert and Berry Renken are near board topping positions. The games for Randy Ellis, Warren Goesle, and Buddy Tretick have not gone so well. This still has our team in pretty high placing in the tournament standings. I haven't heard much from Partridge, Weiss, Rauterberg, and some of the other TAPers who are in the tournament. How are you guys doing??

On the other side of the coin, the GMing as a general rule has been inconsistent (this happens partly by tournament design) and occasionally really poor. This thing has been a nightmare for me and many of the Team Captains and must be even worse for the Tournament Director as there have been innumerable disputes - I have over 50 messages in my dispute file and those are just the ones I have personally been involved in! For this last reason alone, I shant be around for the 2000 version of this thing, though I think many of the players have really enjoyed it so far. The GM of the game I am playing in has been stellar, so the game I am in has gone well, but Buddy, Warren, and Berry have all had problems to varying degrees with their GMs. Warren and Berry have had seasons rolled back and replayed and Buddy probably should have had one rolled back (if the other two were) that wasn't. This despite that nearly universal Postal rule that ``no matter what the mistake, you never roll a season back and replay it.'' That rule is not in force here. Berry almost had his game rolled back a full year and a half. It has been a lesson in a variety of ways, for sure.

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

A VERY light discussion is taking place that will address what stance we (the hobby) should take (proactive in some way for sure) toward Hasbro, the new owners of the rights to Diplomacy. More on this will be forthcoming, but it looks like Hasbro might have its version of Diplomacy on the market for the Christmas season and they actually will be employing ``play-testers''. No word on precisely what this means yet, could it mean that they will offer a series of ``official'' variants? Stay tuned.... If you want to be part of the discussion, send the MESSAGE:

subscribe hasbro

to majordomo of, it works just like the tap mailing list described below. Sending messages to hasbro of sends the mail to the whole list. The big news this time is the beginning of the breakout of Hasbro into official contact with the hobby. See the two messages below.

The game Diplomacy is a copyrighted product owned by Hasbro and all reproductions or other use of that material in this szine is intended to be personal use and not infringe on those rights in any way. All reproductions are done at a heavy financial loss to the editor and thus are without the remotest possibility of commercial intent, except to promote THE game, the Game of Diplomacy, which you all should purchase from Hasbro or other duly licensed distributors.

Tim Lurz (Thu, 02 Dec 1999 18:20:34)

Hi Jim,

I hope that things are well. Several items in your last ish spurred me (ie. kicked me in the ass) to write.

I read with great interest Mr. Andruschak's press concerning his trip to Mainland China. 12 years ago, I travelled/studied there for 8 months and found should I a trip to Mars. His press brought back a lot of memories, and I thank Harry for that. Gwangzhou is perhaps the most fascinating city in China. The old architecture is great. Great parks. And the trip I took from Gwangzhou to Hainan island via tramp steamer was simply incredible. Several questions I will write here in a public forum in the hopes that he will write more about his experiences in TAP. I hope that Harry writes more about Mainland China as it is THE place to really experience something different. You haven't been anyplace until you have been to China.

Harry....when you say the Qingping market, do you mean the snake market across from the White Swan Hotel? Great place to buy antiques.

When you were in Shanghai, did you by chance go the Peace Hotel (HePing Da Fan Dian) to listen to the Jazz music? If you did, did the old timers from when Shanghai was the Hollywood of the East still play jazz and swing music? Great place to listen to great music and drink a few (or more) 5 Star beers. That is THE place to visit in Shanghai. Has the Bund been taken over by KFC and MickeyDs? Did you visit the old foreign quarter?

Did you change money on the black market? Always a thrill......

I remember getting off the HK-Gwangzhou train at 5pm, not speaking a word of Chinese, not having a place to stay, and this old gent gets off his bicycle and stares right at me as if I had stepped off a spaceship. Oh my, wanted something certainly different and I certainly got it......

RE: Octopus's Garden......John C. Breckinridge - I would like to hear why a game was named after him. I am a collector of Civil War documents and John C. Breckinridge was a CSA & CP USA (KY) Maj. Gen. He was at Shiloh, Vicksburg, Stone's River, Chickamanga, Chattanooga, New Market, and Sec of War. Why choose him for a game name? Just curious. ((Peter can answer for himself, but he was a railroad magnate after the war for the ``famous'' Lexington and Big Sandy Railroad!))

RE: Hasbro

They have now taken over Wizards of the Coast. Does this mean the end to the best game ever invented....AD&D? Diplomacy is one thing, D&D is quite another. I can't stand the thought of a mix of the Tomb of Horrors and Snakes and Ladders. Thanks for everything.

Regards, Tim, mivior of

((Well, feelings about Hasbro as the big elephant around the gaming hobby are decidedly mixed. Surely, their Computer Diplomacy came out with more flaws than they should have permitted. Here's a recent update on all things Hasbro regarding Diplomacy....))

Rob B.F. (Tue, 28 Dec 1999 14:26:45 GMT)

Here's the chronology of AH games and what was said when, to the best of my knowledge, which should be pretty good.

At GenCon, we told people that Stratego Legends would be a Nov. release, along with Diplomacy. Acquire in December. February/March would give us A&A:Europe and Battle Cry.

Then Pokémon kicked in. Sometime in the late fall it was told to us that the factory did not have enough resources to get to the AH games in order to meet our schedule. And, due to the fact that an AH game has a forecast that is somewhere in the neighborhood of 2%-15% of a Pokémon Xmas release, it is just good business that those Pokémon games get produced first. We all knew that Pokémon was hot for Xmas 1999 and who knows where it will be in 2 months or 6 months. The AH gamer is less seasonal in his/her purchases and would probably buy Diplomacy in January, though it will hurt sales not to have it for Xmas.

This did not go down well with many designers but it wasn't our call and there was (and is) little we can do about it. I got on the newsgroup sometime in November and reported this.

This is where things stand officially. However, there was always the chance that the factory would get a down shift and be able to produce an AH game earlier than expected. I never posted this because it isn't really fair to spread that info since the odds are against it happening. What I believe happened (and this is conjecture as Mark Foster isn't here right now) is that Mark heard that the factory was going to be able to put an AH game or two or three into production earlier than planned, he wrote that in an email to someone, and here we have the confusion. He was being optimistic and it didn't pan out. He is not the type of guy to ``bald-faced lie". Not his style.

I can tell you with 100% certainty that Stratego Legends: The Shattered Lands went into production two weeks ago. I know this. I have a copy on my desk right now. Several of my friends got copies from me for Christmas. This means that distributors should have them now and retailers should have them soon. It is ironic that this is the first game out since it has the highest ``doubt factor" of any of the new AH games. However, my friends, who are gamers, told me they really enjoyed it. And they are not the type of people to say so to make me feel better.

Another fact is that Diplomacy is at the factory, ready to go. The factory is also closed now for seasonal down-time/maintenance. I am not sure how long this lasts or when Diplomacy will be produced, but rest assured that I will share this information as it becomes *fact*. The new board looks great, several of us played an eight-hour game last week (I was Germany, I was one of the final four, but lost).

Acquire, as far as I know, is still a January release. Also, as far as I know, A&A: Europe and Battle Cry are still slated for March.

If any of this is wrong, I will report it as soon as know it. Many, many, many people are on vacation this week and information is hard to verify. However, this info is correct as of a week and a half ago.

No one is more frustrated by the delays than the designers working on the games. Being part of a large game company has its advantages and it has its disadvantages. As of right now, the smaller-forecast AH line sometimes gets short-shrift until it can prove itself. But if it keeps getting delayed, it is hard to prove itself. A bit of a Catch-22.

Besides, we're not sure that the games are Y2K compliant. Diplomacy, for example, keeps insisting that the game start in 1901.

-Rob, Avalon Hill/Hasbro Games

((There you have it, the best update I have seen. No word on the patches for Computer Diplomacy, which is out, but will undoubtedly come sometime in the new year. On a more enjoyable subject, a question: ``I plan to go to World DipCon and would like to start publicizing the date and location. What is it??? I know it is August some time.'' brought this response:))

Edi Birsan (Wed, 15 Dec 1999 21:22:16 -0800)

World DipCon: August 1-6; Hunt Valley Inn; Baltimore, MD; the web site is:

The World DipCon X will be held in Baltimore, Maryland, USA at the World Boardgaming Championships of the BPA.

This is in conjunction with the North American DipCon XXXIII the longest continuous Diplomacy convention scene.

The convention will run August 1-6 with the Diplomacy events focused on Thursday-Sunday.

The host hotel is: The Hunt Valley Inn.

Diplomacy players from all over the world are expected to converge on the scene and it should be the largest collection of championship players from all over the world.

For web site updates go to:

The Diplomatic Corps ( will also be supporting the effort with the donation of some prizes and acting as a collection point for funds to help off set some of the non North American hotel costs. Currently collected is $300 and we are looking for at least triple that. If you plan to come please let us know so we can see what can be done on what scale based on need. We are also coordinating with the local players to host some over seas players and make things background friendly. If you can contribute or need help contact Edi Birsan : edi of

Hope to see you all there.

Edi Birsan, edi of, Midnight Games,

Stephen Agar (1 January 2000)

Dear All, I have finally finished scanning and editing the whole of Richard Sharp's book - all 13 Chapters.

It is now available on my new website:

If you want to go directly there try:

It would be nice to have a thread discussing what people actually think of Richard's book, given that it is now over 20 years old.

-Stephen Agar, Brighton, UK,


Now I need to figure out some timings and get together to actually make a master tape. Then I'll find a commercial service to copy them for me. Once I find the cost of that, I will let people know the cost. I am leaning toward a five dollar fee, so the people I've chosen below for five dollar awards automatically get them for free. There are a few other selected individuals who've been sending me tapes and CD's and things who also will get them for free.

To encourage voting early, I picked five voters at random to receive five US dollars from me (either in cash or paid to someone for Dip stuff or to get a free tape). Tony Dickinson won the Round 5 prize, so we had three of the six Round 1 voters won and one of the three Round 2 postal voters who also got five chances to win. That showed the value of getting in early!! Voters in Round 1 were Mike Barno($5), Rick Desper ($5), Tony Dickinson ($5), Drew James, Heath Gardner, and John Harrington. Round 2 postal voters were John Schultz ($5) Ian Moore, and Stan Johnson. Round 2 E-Mail voters got four chances and were Scott Morris, Warren Goesle, Peter Sullivan, and Michael Lowrey. Round 3 voters were Dick Martin, Richard Weiss, and Rip Gooch; they got three chances to win. Round 4 voters were Roland Sasseville, Jr. ($5), Don Williams, Brent McKee (2 votes left), and Andy York; they got two chances. Round 5 voters were Mark Larzelere, Al Tabor, Jody McCullough, and that's it.

We'll end up with a monster party tape at the end of it that I plan to segue and sequence and copy for distribution. The result will be a great New Millenium party tape - we're going for 90 minutes. I've also been thinking that I should put this out on CD as truly emblematic of the new millenium. I don't have the capability to do that quite yet, but I think I might by then. Any suggestions (or especially volunteers) on this front will be cheerfully accepted and could receive monetary payments! The CD way may still occur if someone steps forward and actually does it for me.

So far, we have ``I Melt With You'' by Modern English; George Gershwin's ``I got Plenty O' Nuttin' '' from Porgy and Bess in the 1957 concert recording with Ella Fitzgerald finishing off the vocals after Louis Armstrong blows and sings through the tune; Duke Ellington performing Billy Strayhorn's ``Take the A Train''; Frank Sinatra's ``New York, New York''; something from the B-52's; the original Van Morrison and Them version of ``Gloria''; The (English) Beat's 12 inch version of ``Save It for Later'' ratchets things up to the next level (wherever you put it!); Buster Poindexter's ``Hot, Hot, Hot'' keeps you there; ``Atomic Dog'' by George Clinton blows the doors off, and Koko Taylor cleans up singing Willie Dixon's ``Wang Dang Doodle''. After I get timings down, I'll choose exactly which songs below make the list.

EXTRA SPECIAL B-52'S BULLPEN: (7) ``Love Shack''; ``Rock Lobster". ((A tie, a tie!!!!))

BULLPEN: (9) Nirvana - ``Smells Like Teen Spirit"; ``Cumberland Blues'' - the Grateful Dead. (8) ``Twistin the Night Away" - Sam Cooke; ``In Between Days'' - The Cure; ``Mannish Boy" - Muddy Waters; ``Shake, Rattle, & Roll" - Big Joe Turner; ``Proud Mary'' - Ike and Tina Turner. (7) ``I Wanna Be Sedated" - Ramones; ``Twist & Shout" - Beatles. (6) ``Magic Carpet Ride" - Steppenwolf; ``Crossroads'' - Eric Clapton; ``Play That Funky Music'' - Wild Cherry; ``I Feel Good" - James Brown; ``Radar Love'' - Golden Earring; Devo - ``Whip It"; ``Echo Beach'' - Martha and The Muffins. (5) ``Sing Sing Sing'' - Benny Goodman; ``Rocking the Casbah'' - The Clash; Squeeze - ``If I Didn't Love You"; ``Roadrunner'' - Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers.


SPECIAL TALKING HEADS BULLPEN: (9) ``Take me to the River". (4) the entire Speaking in Tongues record (special call for ``Road to Nowhere'').


SPECIAL DRUG MUSIC BULLPEN: (8) ``Red, Red Wine'' - UB40. (6) ``Don't Bogart that Joint'' - Fraternity of Man; ``The Old Dope Peddler'' - Tom Lehrer. (5) ``Cocaine'' - Eric Clapton's version; ``Casey Jones'' - the Grateful Dead. (4) ``White Rabbit'' - Jefferson Airplane; ``Love Is the Drug'' - Roxy Music.

Before I get to this next comment by Steve Emmert, let me say something of my philosophy of these sorts of things. There simply is no ``best of'' for music that is universal. Music is fundamentally a personal experience. I don't claim this is the best music of all time, or even the best music of the last thirty years. What it was intended to be was (and is, I believe) a group think about some great PARTY music for DANCING. What Steverino attempts below (and I commend him for it) is something more like what I once attempted as a DJ for my college radio station: a twelve hour music marathon of the best music of all time. Somewhere I have my play list..... but it began with a Gregorian Chant and ended (this was 1979) with Joy Division's ``Love Will Tear Us Apart" and Anthony Phillips singing ``Regrets'' from Wise After the Event (two songs which made a huge amount of sense to me at the time, but....). This timing issue is a major reason why I did NOT encourage recent music that may not stand the test of time for this list. All of this is why I don't do ``stars" and I don't try to make some claim that this really is the best dance music of the millenium, just that it was fun to argue about and ideally what we did best was to learn something about each other in our choices. Let's learn some more about Steverino....

Steve Emmert (Mon, 13 Dec 1999 16:29:36 -0500)

I have held back, perhaps inexcusably, from joining in the party tape discussion. I offer the following input:

Think back, way back, to when the NBA introduced its Slam Dunk competition at the All-Star Game. One of the players originally invited was Julius Erving, then the greatest artist on the hardwood, and still one of the greatest poets ever to lace 'em up. The Doctor thanked them for the invitation, and said, ``You go ahead and have your contest, and whoever wins can go up against me."

Back to the future. It's 1999, and Jim-Bob Burgess sends ME a zine with a list of ostensibly great music. I scan the listings to see what kind of taste the TAP audience has. I see some jazz, good; some blues, great; a tiny bit of classical; some ugly-boy music (Rolling Stones), but a great untapped potential.

Jim-Bob, you make your tape, and I'll put it up against mine:

Side A: We'll start with classical. ``The Ride of the Valkyries" by Richard Wagner, from Die Walkure. (If that doesn't get your blood moving, there's a nice mortician down at the Health Department who wants to see you.) ``Ode to Joy" by Ludwig von Beethoven, from the Ninth Symphony. ``The Waltz of the Flowers" by Peter I. Tchaikovsky, from The Nutcracker. And the first movement of Mozart's Symphony #25 in G Minor, which was the title theme to ``Amadeus." (The foregoing constitutes ``classical music for those raised on rock 'n' roll"; it is impossible to be bored during any of this without a visit from the last-mentioned civil servant.) ((Perhaps, but none of this would make my list of favorite or ``best'' classical music. Interesting idea, do you really mean this to be best current ``party music'' that happens to be classical??))

Before moving completely to jazz, we'll make a stop at the intersection of Classical and Jazz, George Gershwin's ``Rhapsody in Blue." That brings us to Scott Joplin's ``Solace," one of the tunes featured in ``The Sting." Louis Jordan's ``Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby." Dave Brubeck's ``Take Five," regarded by me as the exemplary jazz tune. And Vince Guaraldi's ``Cast Your Fate to the Wind." ((All great tunes and favorites of mine. Two of them I played on the aforementioned ``tour of all time great music" (the Brubeck and the Gershwin, and I wish I'd thought of the Jordan!). Neat list of music, is that the actual way you would sequence it?))

Side B: The Blues beckons. ``Baby Please Don't Go," both the Muddy Waters and John Lee Hooker versions. ``Metropolitan Avenue" by the Nighthawks. And on to RnR: ``Johnny B. Goode" by Chuck Berry (really, Jim-Bob, how on EARTH can you have a party tape that does not include the greatest rock 'n' roll song ever recorded?), ((You COULD have helped us out, this is another one that made my ``great music of all time list'', but no one remembered to mention it here.)) ``Can't You Hear Me Knockin'" by the Stones, ``Dream Home in New Zealand" by The Beat, ((That 12 inch version of ``Save It For Later'' is SUCH a better dance song..... really.... but you certainly can have your choice!)) ``The Magnificent Seven" by The Clash. ``Does Everyone Stare" by the Police. ``Come As You Are" by Nirvana, Seal's ``Violet," ``Under the Bridge" by the Chili Peppers, and last but assuredly not least, ``In Memory of Elizabeth Reed" by the Allman Brothers Band. ((Wow, some really neat choices in here! I wish you had tossed them in for consideration earlier!!))

Now, THAT is a tape to last you another millenium. (In truth, only the first side will come close to outlasting the next century. In, say, 175 years, no one will be listening to the Rolling Stones, but barring thermonuclear devastation, there will always be Mozart.)

The cherry-picking lawyer, Lse of

Alan Stewart (Sun, 28 Nov 1999 00:28:06 -0500)

THE TOP TEN FILMS OF THE 1980s (plus 15 Honourable Mentions)

1. Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989) (5 stars) - D: Woody Allen; W: Woody Allen; Starring Woody Allen, Mia Farrow, Alan Alda, Martin Landau, Anjelica Huston, Jerry Orbach, Claire Bloom, Sam Waterston.

Two parallel stories: a struggling documentary filmmaker (Allen), being divorced by his wife (Joanna Gleason), woos a rising producer (Farrow), who is also being pursued by the obnoxious but successful TV sitcom producer Alda; happily married and respected eye doctor Landau considers how to get mistress Huston out of his life after she refuses to accept the end of their affair. The two stories meet in the last scene. The conclusion-a total triumph for evil, or is it?-makes this the bleakest of Allen's films, in a ``message" sense, while it is at the same time hilariously funny. It is the first Allen film to depict religion in any sense favourably, although here very ambiguously. The Allen character is the most pathetic of the pathetic-Allen-character type, the Alda character the most vital of the obnoxious-worldling type, to the extent that even a Woody-character sympathizer must ask here: does Woody *really* deserve the girl? Wouldn't she be happier with Alda, obnoxious as he is? Fine performances by Farrow, Alda, Huston, Landau, Orbach, and Waterston as a rabbi who is going blind, symbolizing the weakness of goodness, the failure of religion, or maybe just a rabbi going blind.

Other Critical Opinion: Maltin: ``Arguably Woody's most ambitious film, playing heavy drama against often uproarious comedy, and certainly one of his most passionately debated". As Maltin implies, not everyone likes it: says Leon Wieseltier in the New Republic: ``Let me be blunt; it is a matter of honor to hate this film. There is not a frame of it that fails to degrade, to debase, and to demean something precious. It is the work of a consumer, a tourist, a peacock, a voyeur, a coward, a philistine, a creep. It is a stain on the culture that produced it. I didn't like it." (November 27, 1989). Pauline Kael: ``The tediousness of Woody Allen's attempt to deal with weighty questions is that he poses them in conventional, sermonizing terms. He appears to be pinning contemporary greed and crime on man's loss of belief in God. The movie represents a peculiarly tony form of fundamentalism." (October 30, 1989). Kael asks whether Allen knows that Alda steals the film. [I agree with Kael here, and too wonder whether Allen knew it.] Roger Ebert: ``Who else but Woody Allen could make a movie in which virtue is punished, evildoing is rewarded and there is a lot of laughter-even subversive laughter at the most shocking times?"

2. Betrayed (1988) (5 stars) - D: Constanin Costa-Gavras; W: Joe Eszterhas; Starring Debra Winger, Tom Berenger, John Heard.

The FBI tries to infiltrate an organization of white supremacists in the American heartland. Great performances by Winger, John Mahoney as Shorty, David Clennon as would-be presidential candidate Jack Carpenter, Jeffrey DeMunn as the evil genius behind Carpenter's aspirations, Ted Levine as the weaselly Wes, who sniffs Winger out early but after discerning, but failing to convince the love-struck Berenger of, Winger's ill-intentions. Great Lines: Shorty (John Mahoney), a kindly and likable half-wit, explains to Winger how he could get involved with the brutal things that the supremacists do: ``All I ever wanted in life was to farm my land and raise my boy. The bank took my farm and Vietnam took my boy. I ain't got nothing left to take."

Other Critical opinion: Betrayed was widely disliked. Roger Ebert listed it as one of the ten worst films of the year. Maltin: ``Appalling botch of a film about the stupidest FBI undercover agent in movie history who's sent to sniff out white supremacists in America's heartland-but falls in love with her target instead." Many Americans were uncomfortable with the classic Costa-Gavras approach in which the subculture of the governing establishment - in this case the FBI - is depicted darkly, here pretty much as darkly as the white racist subculture itself.

3. Ghostbusters (1984) (5 stars) - D: Ivan Reitman; W: Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis; Starring Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis.

Thrown out of their university research positions, three paranormal investigators set up as businessmen, offering to rid New Yorkers of ghosts and spirits haunting their abodes-and just in time, as a host of diabolical spirits from another dimension are just about to return, and their interface with the present is in Sigourney Weaver's apartment.

4 of the best comic actors of the 80s, and Sigourney Weaver, the actress of the 80s, combine. ((And Sigourney Weaver finishes the 90's with another brilliant comic turn in the stunningly hilarious Galaxy Quest that is just out. This movie is by far the funniest movie I've seen this year. They took an obvious premise and really just nailed a perfect comic film. As Ghostbusters clearly was as well.))

4. Witness (1985) (5 stars) - D: Peter Weir; W: William Kelley, Earl Wallace, Pamela Wallace; Starring Harrison Ford, Kelly McGillis.

Amish boy Samual Lapp witnesses a murder in the washroom of Philadelphia's train station, and identifies the murderer from a picture in the police station: he is a cop. Investigating good cop John Book (Ford) must hide out in Amish country with Samual's mother (McGillis) when he finds that the evil in his department goes right to the top. McGillis as a devout but independent-minded Amish woman confronts the world as represented by Ford (and, naturally, ends up taking her clothes off.)

A mainstream-directed movie by the best director of the 80s.

Other Critical Opinion: Pauline Kael dumped on this movie, asking whether liberal New Yorkers who could stomach it were aware that it was an attack on their culture and a defence of the superiority of ``country" culture, as represented by the Amish. I think they could figure this out, Pauline. ((I really loved this one too, Alan, thanks for reminding me of it!))

5. Nineteen Eighty-Four (1984) (5 stars) - D: Michael Radford; W: Adapted by Jonathan Gems and Michael Radford from George Orwell; Starring John Hurt, Richard Burton, Suzanna Hamilton, Cyril Cusack.

A faithful rendering of the classic novel of the 20th century. Richard Burton's last film appearance.

Not particularly well regarded generally, perhaps because it was such a faithful rendering. One of the best opening scenes (The Three-Minute Hate) of any film. Music includes the superb rendering of the national anthem (``Oceania, 'Tis for Thee"). The film also spawned the good Eurythmics album ``1984", with pieces that didn't make the film, including the deserved hit ``Sexcrime". ((Hmmm, I liked it at the time, but don't remember it well now. I'll have to rent it again....))

6.Dead Poets Society (1989) (Four and 1/2 stars) - D: Peter Weir; W: Tom Schulman; Starring Robin Williams, Robert Sean Leonard, Norman Lloyd.

A charismatic English teacher at a 50s New England prep school inspires his students to ``seize the day"; their consequent courses of behaviour lead to disaster.

Other Critical opinion: One of the few movies extant which Pauline Kael and I both like. Roger Ebert: `` `Dead Poets Society' is a collection of pious platitudes masquerading as a courageous stand in favor of something."

7. The Year of Living Dangerously (1983) (Four and 1/2 stars) - D: Peter Weir; W: Peter Weir, David Williamson (novel by C. J. Koch); Starring Mel Gibson, Sigourney Weaver, Linda Hunt.

First-time foreign correspondent Guy Hamilton (Gibson) needs the help of his photographer Billy Kwan-a societal outsider because he is half-Chinese and a dwarf-to cover Indonesian President Sukarno whose national self-assertiveness frightens the West. Kwan even helps Hamilton romance diplomat Jill Bryant (Weaver). All moves swimmingly until Hamilton's self-centredness leads him to actions that Kwan considers a betrayal.

Great Oscar-winning supporting performance by Hunt-I never realized that the part was being played by a woman. Weaver is at her most beautiful in this one - and that's saying a lot. ((This probably was my favorite movie of the 80's.))

8. Do The Right Thing (1989) (Four and 1/2 stars) - D: Spike Lee; Starring Danny Aiello, Spike Lee.

Pizza-parlour owner Sal (Aiello) has remained in the Bedford-Stuyvesant community as it has turned to a ghetto around him (``these people have grown up on my pizza") and the parlour, also staffed by two sons-one with strong anti-black feelings-and irresponsible black employee Mookie (Lee) is now the only white presence in the area (except for hostile incursions by the police). The everyday life of the ghetto is portrayed in stark actuality-the streetcorner philosophers who sit on a corner and drink cheap liquor all day, the Korean convenience store operators whose financial success earns tham the hatred of the community, the evangelists for Black Islam, the sheer heat and difficulty of life. A dispute between Sal and a customer over a noisy ghetto blaster leads to violence, police intervention, riot, and death.. Strangely, the Academy, despite its congenital liberalism, denied this much-admired film the nominations it deserved-the film and Lee's direction should both have been nominated, and Lee may have deserved to win. The film is seen by some as hostile to whites, but in fact it presents the sources of black-white conflict as complex; no one is totally to blame. Much profanity.

Critical Opinion: Ebert: ``it comes closer to reflecting the current state of race relations in America than any other movie of our time." ((Perhaps this opened up a door, but I think this movie does not stand up on its own as well as movies that have been made since that address similar issues do. I would cite American History X, for one, which is a far better film and turns some of this on its ear. You could argue, and you might be right, that other movies would not have been made without this one though.))

9. Working Girl (1988) (Four and 1/2 stars) - D: Mike Nichols; W: Kevin Wade; Starring Melanie Griffith, Harrison Ford, Sigourney Weaver, Alec Baldwin.

Tess McGill (Griffith) is a lower-middle class secretary, whose hair, dress, accent and language ensure she will never be taken seriously despite her intelligence. She wants to work herself into the world of high finance, and is hopeful when she gets a new boss (Weaver) who she can look up to-a sophisticated corporate woman and potential mentor. McGill discovers by accident, while her boss is off with a broken leg, that Weaver was about to steal one of her ideas and claim it as her own. Tess decides to impersonate her boss and sell her idea on her own-to a mover and shaker who happens to be her boss's boyfriend (Ford). Great AA-nominated performance by Griffith, who makes the movie.

Critical Opinion: Roger Ebert: ``This is Melanie Griffith's movie in the same way The Graduate belonged to Dustin Hoffman."

10. Name of the Rose (1986) (Four and 1/2 stars) - D: Jean-Jacques Annaud; W: Andrew Birkin, Gerard Brach, Howard Franklin, Alain Godard; Novel by Umberto Eco; Starring Sean Connery, Christian Slater, F. Murray Abraham, Michael Lonsdale.

Monk William of Baskerville (Connery) investigates a series of murders at a monastery, using deduction, as his brother Franciscans prepare for a crucial theological debate: should the Church be a worldly possessor of wealth? He must work fast, because the Inquisitor, who has prosecuted William for heresy on a previous occasion, sees the murders as the handiwork of the Devil and all who impede his quest as likewise possessed.

15 HONOURABLE MENTIONS (in rough order of merit): Brazil (1985); Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981); Escape from New York (1981); Eight Men Out (1988); Fatal Attraction (1987); The Dream Team (1989); Robocop (1987); Back to the Future (1985); Amadeus (1984); This Is Spinal Tap (1984); Mississippi Burning (1988); Terror Train (1980); The Bounty (1984); Ghostbusters II (1989); Talk Radio (1989)

-Alan Stewart- alans of

Scott Hanson (Sat, 01 Jan 2000 22:16:30)

Hi Jim-Bob,

Just a quick note that our son Christopher Ryan Hanson was born in Hamburg at 3:39 am on December 27. 4530 g (9 lbs 15-1/2 oz), 56 cm (22-1/2 inches). Both he and Frauke are doing fine. They're still in the hospital, so that's where we spent our turn-of-the-millenium. Did we miss anything? ((Not a thing!))

Listening to Dire Straits `Making Movies' and `Love Over Gold' were among the many techniques Frauke employed to bring on labor.

Pictures at

Regards, Scott, shanson of

((Pictures look great! Boy, do you have a lot of graphics though, not too good for people like me connecting on slow modems ;-) I especially liked the picture at: View?u = 185392&a = 1364695&p = 14780850&Sequence = 3

since we could see YOU! Congratulations to you and Frauke on the new addition to your family. I'm sure that the Carusos will be pleased to hear of this. Pay attention, Kathy!))


``So I called up George and he called up Jim, I said let's make a deal.

He said he'd talk to him. Gonna start a church where you can save yourself,

You can make some noise, When you've got no choice...

You told me useful things, what people think of me, I guess I should thank you.

It's true, then I agree... I'm all alone, I've got no choice,

I'm all alone, I've got no choice."

From ``Got No Choice" by the incomparable Mark Cutler, from the CD Mark Cutler and Useful Things.

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904.

Standby lists:

Mike Barno, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Paul Rauterberg, Stan Johnson, Randy Ellis, Heath Gardner, Phil Reynolds, Paul Kenny, Sean O'Donnell Dan Gorham, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy.

Phil Reynolds, Sean O'Donnell, and Jim Sayers stand by for the Colonial Diplomacy game.

Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Phil Reynolds, Jim Sayers, and Kurt Ozog stand by for the Modern Diplomacy game.

Sean O'Donnell and David Partridge stand by for Colonia. I still need standbys for the Colonia game!

Let me know if you want on or off these lists, especially OFF. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks.


The only Diplomacy oriented opening left is an opening for a game of Star Trek Diplomacy! These will be the last Diplomacy game openings until more games end. See Stephen Agar's rules on his web page at:

There are two changes I am looking at when I start the game. First, I really want to name all the star systems after Star Trek locations. I have begun to do this already, but if someone wants to contribute significantly, or even volunteer to do it all, I will offer a free game start in the game. Second, after naming all of the systems, I think I want to nix the ``revolving rings'' rule. I am open to suggestions on the latter, though I want to print maps and ***I*** don't know how to make the rings rotate easily. The game start is open now, and since I want to STRONGLY encourage press, you can sign up and ``claim'' a race. Chris Trent claims the Ferengi, Stephen Agar claims the Borg, and Jody McCullough claims the Romulans. Buddy Tretick and Roland Sasseville, Jr., also are set to play. I'm expanding my net and hope to fill this very soon. This game also has the $20 game fee ($5 of that refundable for NMR insurance).

I suppose I have to admit that no one is requesting Pontevedria, the North American game opening flyer, from Conrad von Metzke any more. You can contact Conrad by E-Mail at metzke of if you want to ask him about it. I'd be pleased to help anyone find other game openings on a personal basis too. The longer run solution might come out of the efforts of the Brits, on which we might be able to piggyback. If you are interested, contact Stephen Agar at stephen of who still heads up The Diplomatic Pouch postal section or or join the Brit hobby mailing list at:

FANTASTIC VOYAGE: 1999K, Regular Diplomacy


Summer 1901

AUSTRIA (Gorham): has f TRI, a GAL, a SER.

ENGLAND (Biehl): has f ENG, f NTH, a YOR.

FRANCE (O'Donnell): has f MID, a PIC, a MAR.

GERMANY (Shreve): has f DEN, a MUN, a KIE.

ITALY (Tallman): has f ION, a VEN, a TYO.

RUSSIA (Tretick): has f GOB, f RUM, a SEV, a UKR.

TURKEY (Ellis): has f BLA, a CON, a BUL.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Dan Gorham, PO Box 279, Belmopan, BELIZE, CENTRAL AMERICA ($5)

Frdan of BTL.NET

ENGLAND: John Biehl, 8809 Delwood Drive, Delta, BRITISH COLUMBIA, V4C 4A1 CANADA,

(604) 589-9124 ($10); biehldunai of

FRANCE: Sean O'Donnell, 126 S. Park, Oberlin, OH 44074, (440) 774-2928 (E-Mail)

sean_o_donnell of, seanside of

GERMANY: Dwayne Shreve, 739 Union Church Road, Elkton, MD 21921 ($5)

dwayneshreve of

ITALY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($5)

terryt of

RUSSIA: Buddy Tretick, 9607 Conaty Circle, Spotsylvania, VA 22553, (540) 582-2356 (E-Mail)

BATretick2 of

TURKEY: Randy Ellis, 9501 W 89th, Apt 201, Overland Pk, KS 66212 (***NEW***) ($10)

Game Notes:

1) Note from Conrad von Metzke, The BNC (Tue, 14 Dec 1999 15:53:26 -0800)

I'm sorry, your first request for a new number arrived on Thursday, when we are closed. It was also not accompanied by the requisite $50 and triplicate Form 493-B (Rev.), so when it was finally noted it was placed in the file folder ``Things To Do When I Bloody Well Please."

Fortunately your second request has arrived on a Tuesday, when we ARE open, and in addition we just happen to be running a special - buy one, get one free. So your first request is being treated as the one you bought, even though you haven't paid, you damn cheapskate, and your second request is the free one.

Your free number is 1999K. Please leave positive feedback at (I wonder what happens if you actually click on that?) Best wishes, Conrad ((Well, I had to try, doncha know..... nothing on that, but there IS something at that is quite silly, yet fascinating. I'll let you web explorers go find it for yourself.))

2) We have lots of great story tellers among the players here, and I have suspicions that we have only scratched the surface of their talent. Here's to lots more press in the future for this game!!

3) Randy Ellis has moved and is in the process of changing his E-Mail address as well. We'll have an update when it becomes available.


(APR 15, 1901): From the outer offices of her shrink Mother Russia bellowed for some smelling salts. Her son, the Tsar, misunderstanding her (or was it understanding exactly her proclivities) thought she meant smelling `salts' (get it? `salt', `saltie' = sailor). ``Who would have the smellingest sailors?" wondered the Tsar. ``Our first cousin, the King of England has lots of sailors. There should be plenty of smelling `salts' there." Ever desirous of pleasuring his mother the Tsar immediately enquired of the British Ambassador whether something could be arranged. Shortly, a letter was posted to Hull, England from St. Petersburg.

(A DAY IN THE FRANKISH REPUBLIC): The courier marched up to the Prime Minister and announced:

``My great and wonderful leader, we have a message from the German."

``Oui?," the wise one so sagely inquired.

``Yes, sir, he states that his minions who attempted to move into Burgundy are merely looking for a better life and he is annoyed with your efforts to block fair immigration. Also, he applauds the pluck of the English fishing fleet in the Channel."

``Oui?," he asked while narrowing his eyes and squinting at a wart on his nose.

``Furthermore, sir, he made some comments about your vocabulary."

``My what?"

``The number of words you know and can use. As you know, I agree that the most anyone needs to know is 2000 or so to get by. Tell me sir, what shall we do about the German?"

``We fix him. No more dip, uh, dip, uh..."

``Do you mean diplomacy, sir?"

``Oui. No more diplomacy. We will kick German and English butt without it."

(HULL, MAY 1, 1901): A rather curious request arrived today at City Hall. It appears that the Mayor has been requested to provide a British Sailor for her Imperial Russian Majesty's pleasure. The Mayor (like most politicians), seeing an opportunity for pecuniary advancement, offered himself instead.

(GERMANY-FRANCE): You make Charles Bronson seem like a raconteur. You even make me seem very diplomatic. Both are very hard to do.

(LONDON, AUG 1, 1901): In Parliament, the Prime Minister condemned the Italian government for its unprovoked aggression against Austria-Hungary. ``All nations recoil in horror and opprobium at the invasion of Tyrolia by the Italian Army. Public opinion demands that Italy withdraw its forces immediately." The leader of the opposition rose to ask, ``Why, then, does the Prime Minister ignore the German aggression against France?" Prime Minister John Beale replied, ``The leader of the opposition raises a valid point. The government wishes to see all Europe at peace. I understand that the Kaiser withdrew his forces so no censure of Germany is necessary."

(IN THE CHAMBER OF DEPUTIES): Again the old man of the people arose, and thundered: ``Austrians,

If we must die - let it not be like hogs

Hunted and penned in an inglorious spot,

While round us bark the mad and hungry dogs,

Making their mock at our accursed lot.

If we must die - Oh, let us nobly die,

So that our precious blood may not be shed

In vain; then even the monasters we defy

Shall be constrained to honor us though dead!

Oh, Austrians! We must meet the common foe;

Though far outnumbered, let us show brave,

And for their thousand blows deal one death-blow!

What though before us lies the open grave?

Like men we'll face the murderous, cowardly pack.

Pressed to the wall, dying, but fighting back!''

(PORTSMOUTH, AUG 15, 1901) The First Sea Lord, Admiral Samuel Owen Barfer (S.O.B.) asked Captain Hood, ``What do you propose to do with the Kipper?" ``Sir, to demonstrate the capabilities of the Kipper I propose to seek out an enemy ship and sink her with a surprise undersea attack. Just name the enemy, sir, and I will proceed." Barfer responded, ``Your orders, Hood, are to seek out a French battleship and attack without being detected."

(DOWN AT THE BAR ROOM WITH SHREEVY): It was one of those nights that started out quite well at the Doo Drop Inn. Moving quickly into the evening's festivities, Shreve launched into song with Crazy Henry and a couple other fellows, singing something that sounded like ``Still Hazy After All These Beers." I had managed to get into a discussion with Billy the Creep as to the merits of Mad Dog versus Chablis, with me taking the part of unadulterated wine. In all, it began to be the sort of night that one can enjoy there. However, things were to change.

It was then that two very menacing fellows strode into the bar. One was tall with a muscular, Swedish lumberjack look and the other was of the short, squinty-eyed persuasion. The big man scowled and looked around the room, asking, ``Where is Shreevy, the bum? Do you see him, Frenchie, my boy?"

The short man squinted, farted and stated that he did not and started staring at a wine glass.

At that point, Shreve, being neither a liar nor a coward, but not wishing to press the issue, stated ``I know that I seen him just this morning." My guess is that Shreve was referring to what he looked at in the mirror when he shaved, which appeared to be coincidentally that morning.

``Ya, well, my name is Bjarne Oaklynson and I got a bone to pick with that feller. Do ya know where he is?"

``Don't forget me. I'm Sean O'D, the best to be" roared the short fellow, while trying to focus his eyes. ``I want to fix the Kraut, too. So where is he?"

``Now, that's a good question, guys. I seen him over at Terry's Place last night."

``Shit. That's a bikers' bar," muttered Bjarne.

``Big deal, I know how to handle bikers," yelled O'D. ``We go in and tell them if they don't give up Shreevy, we kick their asses." With that, the two strode out of the bar.

``Sounds like a plan to me," whispered Shreve into his beer.

(LONDON, SEPT 1, 1901): Newspaper Editorials are awash with speculation that the recent Italian invasion of Tyrolia and the Franco-German clash over Burgundy are the harbingers of a larger conflict. The Ambassador to France has not yet returned to Paris. In addition, Parliament has voted to start conscription proceedings as war appears imminent.

(Sometimes I Feel Like) FLETCHER CHRISTIAN: 1999Cgh013, Colonia VIIb Diplomacy


Summer 1752



CHINA (Acheson): has a PEKING, f YELLOW SEA, a XIAN, a WUHAN, a NEPAL,

















Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Prosnitz): BUD,VIE,SUR,TRI,TAH,ven,bav, (has 10)
CHINA (Acheson): PEK,WUH,XIA,AMO,tib,nep, (has 7)
ENGLAND (Power): ECU,NIG,MAL,EDI,LON,kam,peru, (has 10)
FRANCE (Gamble): PAR,DAK,TOU,QUE,BOR,sav, (has 9)
NETHERLANDS (Schuetz): ANT,FLO,ANG,HAG,MEL,lou, (has 9)
OTTOMAN (Johnson): ISM,JER,BAG,IST,HAW,persia, (has 10)
PORTUGAL (Stimmel): LAG,ALA,GOA,BRA,LIS,manitoba, (has 9)
RUSSIA (Rauterberg): MOS,KIE,OMS,CAP,STP,VLA,cri, (has 12)
SPAIN (Partridge): MAD,MEX,SOM,VAL,MAN,cal, (has 9)
Neutral: many (Total=???)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Gene Prosnitz, 2600 Netherland Ave., Apt. 1116, Riverdale, NY 10463, (718) 601-8131 ($5)

ProsnitzE of

CHINA: Bob Acheson, 304-556 Laurier Ave., Ottawa, ONTARIO K1R 7X2, CANADA ($5)

racheson of

ENGLAND: John Power, 5043 Lymbar Dr., Houston, TX 77096, (713) 283-8962 ($5)

nat-john of

FRANCE: Terry Gamble, 201 Kenney Ave., Barksdale AFB, LA 71110, (318) 752-1787 ($5)

velobus of

NETHERLANDS: Karl Schuetz, 20 Toledo Lane, Willingboro, NJ 08046, (609) 871-9058

cschuetz of

OTTOMAN: Stan Johnson, 2401 W. Southern Ave. #56, Tempe, AZ 85282, (602) 454-9356 ($5)

PORTUGAL: Robert Stimmel, Apt. #57, Casa de Sherry Apts., 2462 North Sycamore Blvd.,

Tucson, AZ 85712-2541, (520) 326-8369 ($5)

RUSSIA: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

SPAIN: Dave Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033

rebhuhn of

Game Notes:

1) No celebrating yet, but I had no notice of any adjudication errors last time..... however, Robert Stimmel did give me some clarifications and map errors. In particular, the map had Ottoman's army in Afghanistan, but it is in Uzbek, as you can see from the listing above.

2) Gene Prosnitz has added an E-Mail address.

3) Someone has asked a question about supports regarding fleets moving to coasts of multiple coast provinces. For example, can Adriatic support Naples to the West Coast of Papal States? The answer is unequivocally YES. This works just like the regular game. The issue for supports is: can the supporting unit move to the PROVINCE, not the coast of the province, where the supported unit is moving? And, yes, you can do this.


(GM to SPAIN): I know it's a ``big change'' rather than a small change, but I actually think the biggest problem with the map you drew is how small Europe is relative to the number of provinces in it. I, for one, would go for more distortion and easier reading. Probably you can't do that without starting over though. No map this time, but you'll get another map with the Fall results. I think it will be helpful for game watchers and players alike to get an overview of the board and whose units are where.

(LISBON): General Chaos has overthrown the King. He will be kept as a figurehead. General Chaos announces the following:

(1) An alliance with Attila the Hun, which should profit us in middle Europe.

(2) The sending of spies pretending to be English to form an alliance with the Iroquois to fight the French Indian allies.

(3) A conversion to Buddhism in order to acquire Tibet.

(4) Founded a fort in Manitoba and named it Fort Vichy.

(5) Sending mosquitos to the La Salle River.

SECRETS: 1999D, Regular Diplomacy



Fall 1902

AUSTRIA (Zarr): a vie S a tri-tyo (d r:boh,otb), a BUD-rum, f gre-BUL(SC),

a SER S f gre-bul(sc), a tri-TYO.

ENGLAND (Sayers): f lon-ENG, a stp h (d r:lvn,otb), f NTH S f lon-eng, f nwg-NAO.

FRANCE (Sasseville): a BUR S a pic, f GOL S a mar-pie, f mid-WES,

a PIC S a bur, a mar-PIE.

GERMANY (Johnson): a MUN-bur, f HOL S a bel, f den-SWE,

a RUH S a bel, a BEL S a mun-bur.

ITALY (Schultz): f ION S TURKISH a smy-gre, a tyo-VIE, f tun-TYH,

a ven-TRI, a GAL S a tyo-vie.

RUSSIA (Trent): a mos-STP, f swe-NWY, a FIN S a mos-stp, a SEV h.

TURKEY (Munson): f AEG C a smy-gre, a smy-GRE, f BLA h,

a RUM S ITALIAN a gal-bud (nso), a bul-ser (d r:con,otb).

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Zarr): bud,ser,bul (has 4 or 5, rem 1(r:otb) or 2)
ENGLAND (Sayers): lon,lvp,edi (has 3 or 4, even(r:otb) or rem 1)
FRANCE (Sasseville): bre,par,mar,spa,por (has 5, even)
GERMANY (Johnson): ber,kie,mun,den,hol,bel,swe (has 5, bld 2)
ITALY (Schultz): rom,ven,nap,tun,vie,tri (has 5, bld 1)
RUSSIA (Trent): mos,stp,war,sev,nwy (has 4, bld 1)
TURKEY (Munson): ank,smy,con,gre,rum (has 4 or 5, bld 1(r:otb) or even)
Neutral: none (Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821 ($5)

hdzarr of

ENGLAND: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA ($10)

100233.513 of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

GERMANY: Stan Johnson, 2401 W. Southern Ave. #56, Tempe, AZ 85282, (602) 454-9356

ITALY: John Schultz, #19390, MCF POB900, D331, Bunker Hill, IN 46914

RUSSIA: Chris Trent, 8553 Banff Vista Dr., Elk Grove, CA 95624-1746, (916) 685-7772 ($5)

chrisimaus98 of

TURKEY: Scott Munson, PO Box 1042, Gardiner, MT 59030 ($5)

samunson71 of

Game Notes:

1) Note that Scott is moving BACK to his old address. At least for now. Scott is not sure how accessible his hotmail account will be, so treat that as unreliable unless he tells you otherwise.

2) Note that builds and removals MAY be made conditional on the retreats. Autumn retreats and Winter builds and removals are combined.


(ITALY-WORLD): My only press is to wish all of you (even you, Boobness) a heartfelt best wishes for a happy holiday season and a wonderful upcoming year. Sometimes life is just damned grand. Oh, yeah, don't count on any mail you've sent to other than my present address actually making it to me. Sorry, that's just the way-o-things. This is s'posed to be my last move till my move... home. ((And best wishes to you as well and my fondest hope that this next move happens very, very soon!))

(MOS-ANK): Thank you so much for your kindness and generosity, Oh Merciful Sultan....

(GERMANY-FRANCE): I'm just keeping you honest; I have no plans to attack France. I would prefer to explore cooperation between us.

(MR. BRANDO-ENGLAND): An army in St. Petersburg? What have I done to deserve such disrespect? ((No inside knowledge here, but a betting man would not bet against the proposition that said army will not survive the Winter season. Too cold for them??))

(MOS-BER): You're steaming along quite nicely. When the time comes, I'll happily support you into Norway. ((Your sense of timing appears a bit off again.... I hate to clue you in, but that's YOUR center now.... your position appears to be recovering.))

(TRENT-GAME MEISTER): Has anyone ever studied the correlation of press quality to the quality of play? I don't know if I write better press when I'm losing but I definitely get a bit more cynical and sarcastic. ((A bit more confused too ;-) Not to my knowledge. I know I tend to write better press when I am FULLY engaged in the game or when I am completely out, not when I am on the sidelines of the action and losing. But everyone is different. Finally this game is getting a decent load of press! Keep it up!!))

(GENERAL COMMENT FROM NO RUSSIAN PLAYER IN PARTICULAR): Italy in Galicia? Hello! Did we start playing Black Hole Dip and no one told me? France, Austria, c'mon now, folks, bust a move or something. Open up a big ol' can of Industrial Strength Whoop-Ass!!! ((Brave words from a man whose smooth Polish butt is barenaked and vulnerable to said Italian. As for the French and Austrians, ummm, I think a judicious ``no comment'' is best.))

(TRENT-JIM): I'm not getting much attention for my 'zine. If I find someone to host it as a subzine do you think I'd get a better audience?

(JIM-TRENT): It's unfortunate, but the answer is probably yes. Paul Kenny is hosting the LA Diplomacy game that you are guest GMing. You might want to ask him about expanding that arrangement into subszine status. Personal opinion on my part is that Paul's szine and your subszine would be an excellent match.... I have been getting a large number of postal inquiries lately, many people of whom are getting this issue of the szine as a sample. Who has game openings and is looking for new players?? Unfortunately, I'm not for some time, except for the Star Trek opening. My suspicion is that there is the demand for a few more postal szines out there, but with fragmentation it is so hard for someone like Chris to get started!!! Help him out, won't you??? Even just drop him a note of encouragement.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: 1999Arn42, Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy - Black Hole Variant



Spring 1904

AUSTRIA (Schultz): a vie-GAL, a bud-SER, f tri-ALB, and

nukes VEN(2), ROM(2), NAP, TUN, ENG.

ENGLAND (Gardner): NMR; f lon h (ann), f edi h (ann), a lvp h (ann), and

nukes withheld.

FRANCE (Barno): f bre-PIC, a par-GAS, a mar-spa (ann), and


GERMANY (S. Kenny): f kie-HOL, a mun-RUH, a ber-PRU, and

nukes VIE, ROM(2), VEN(2), MOS, LON(2).

ITALY (McCullough): f nap-ION, a rom-TUS, a ven-TRI, and

nukes PIE, GM 4 TIMES!!!!.

RUSSIA (Weiss): f stp(sc)-FIN, a mos-WAR, a war-LVN, f sev-RUM, and

nukes EDI(2), LVP(2), POR, SPA.

TURKEY (Reichert): f ank-BLA, a con-BUL, a smy-ARM, and nukes EDI(2), LVP(2), LON(2), WAL,


Addresses of the Participants

Sandy Kenny, 23 East Coulter Avenue, Collingswood, NJ 08108-1208

Jody McCullough, 1071 Brown Avenue, Lafayette, CA 94549-3153

jodym of

Richard Weiss, 2777 Northtowne Lane, Apt V 1105, Reno, NV 89512

rcw23 of or diplomat of

Sara Reichert, 20805 Margaret, Carson, CA 90745-1224

sarareichert of

John Schultz, #19390, MCF POB900, D331, Bunker Hill, IN 46914

Heath Gardner, 3017 Mayview Road, Raleigh, NC 27607, (919) 834-4832

hgardner of

Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883

mpbarno of

Current Standings

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 TOTAL

SANDY KENNY  4  3  0  7
RICHARD WEISS  4  1  0  5
SARA REICHERT  1  2  2  5
JOHN SCHULTZ  0  6  2  8
HEATH GARDNER  5  0  3  8
MIKE BARNO  0  5  4  9
Black Holed 15 15 16 11 57
Neutral  2  1  1  4

Total 34 34 34 11 113

Times GM Nuked  1  1  3  5 10
Ind. Prison Off.  0  0  1  1  2
Greenland  1  0  0  0  1
Iceland  1  0  0  0  1
Kurt Ozog  0  1  0  0  1
Beale St., SF  0  1  0  0  1

Game Notes:

1) Note that Sara Reichert has added an E-Mail address.

2) Heath is clearly not back on ``hobby track'' yet as he NMR's here. This game has no standbys as Heath's nukes go unfired and his units all have been nuked by others.

3) If I get nuked more times than any of you have supply centers, I win!!!!

4) Not as much freedom of movement with the multiple nukes and nukes not fired onto the board. I don't think Sara will be have as much fun charting out hopping units this time.


(JOHN-SARA): Merry Christmas to you, as well. Nothing like vaporizing a waterway and making it unfit for man and beast, fish in particular, to liven up the holidays.

(SARA-GM): Your nice (and somewhat large) szine was stuffed into my mailbox on 2 December. Quite a contrast to Cheesecake. Oh, and you mentioned John Boardman on Page 1? Well, I am supposed to have a subscription, but Graustark #701 with a deadline of 5 November has not yet arrived. ((I got 701 a long time ago dated 6 November.... did it ever catch up to you???))

(JODY-JIMBOOB): The night you found out that I really was a man, all man, is one I recall frequently and with the fondest of memories. Have a wonderful Hannukah sweetie. ((Yeah, right....))

(SARA-DR. LAURA): If I have a crush on a macho dude serving a non-life term, does that rattle my boots of Amazon sexism? PS, I think my spurs are knocking. And I'm not going to answer any questions about what my six-shooters are doing.

(FRANCE to RUSSIA): I should nuke you just for the ``Dr. Laura" press. The real Dr. Laura came from the same town I did. There was much tittering in Binghamton when nude photos of her from long ago showed up on the Internet.

(GUYS to GALS): So... do you like your ``banana" (reference to Dr. Laura's demo prop) with the peel removed? We discussed add-ins for women so a trim for men is a fair topic. Do you care more about curvature or length or plumpness or firmness? Let's see, Sandy has kids so we must assume at least one of you two has opinions on this topic.

(AFTER PUSHING THE BUTTON, MIKE GETS A THOUGHT): Where does the Indiana Parole Board meet? If they conduct business at the Indiana Dept. of Corrections offices, this nuke could mean there will be nobody left to authorize John's release! That would prevent him from touring the national parks and enjoying time with relatives. Quick, where's the ``Undo" button? ... What do you MEAN, ``this system has no `Undo' button"?!

(ARSENIC ITALIAN to DEAD FRENCHIE): You are wrong again, oh Boobish One. (Not you, Sara, I'm talking to the Burgessian Bombastier here) I know all, I see all, and I certainly READ all. I read TAP from one end to the other. Don't remember a lot of it, but that's another story. Calling me a liar is like calling Fassio a gladhander. Get over it - and quit worrying - I read your rag every month, and have been doing so since around issue #1. ((It's my world and welcome to it....))

(SARA REICHERT-MIKE BARNO): Please remember this is a black press game. I had nothing to do with that press item, allegedly by me, about ``anxietyship'' and the rest of it. As an office temp, I hate having to type words like that in business reports. (And I have seen worse, much worse.)

(ARSENIC ITALIAN to CYANIDE SARA): Darling, we have simply got to get together and poison a game soon. Let's make a date. Boob, wanna chaperone? Mom won't let me go out with Sara alone.... ((Not me, I ain't startin' no new games now. Care to modify your request after my visit to your beautiful abode and the chance to meet your beautiful wife? Am I reminded of the Talking Heads song?? Nah.... seriously, I really liked Stephanie.... almost as much as you like my wife!))

(MIKE to HEATH): If you wanna be a big-time (s)zine pubber, with all the fame and glory that comes along with that [but it doesn't get you women, you're in the wrong hobby for that], you gotta expect to get nuked once in a while. ((Especially when you NMR....))

(SARA REICHERT to HEATH GARDNER): I am the new standby player for France in the game BORIS XIII, the position you NMRed out of in Fall 1903. As of Spring 1906, it is England/France vs. Italy/Russia with Germany squeezed in the middle, Turkey on the sidelines, and Austria just eliminated in Winter 1905, the first to go (as usual).

(M.P. BARNO, PhD., MS, S&M - HEATH): Once upon a midnight dreary, the nuclear missiles of Three Mile Island perched upon your mantle piece, discussing amongst themselves whether to create spermacetti out of your Mobius strip or to let your drink wrath from your stein backed with grape motifs. As it was snowing out, the conversation dragged on, until the little muffin missus returned from the outhouse, the cabin door opening blew the nuclear missiles . . . (where? up?)

(CZAR-SULTAN): I was so tempted to nuke you and any places you could get to, just so that I'd have a chance at being better than someone. My subconscious intervened however since pulling you down won't help me much and would make you that much more sympathetic to everyone else - plus, the key point, where might my troops go for an extra SC?

(MIKE to JIM-BOB): I haven't looked through the Pouch's registry or the Judge ratings lists, but is the e-mail hobby more gender-neutral than postal Dipdom's 98 to 99 percent masculinity? The few bits I noticed in the past seemed only a bit more sprinkled with women. Tournament player lists such as Buz Eddy's latest American Diplomacy Grand Prix standings ( show similar almost-all-male numbers. ((Actually, my impression is that the E-Mail hobby is MORE male centered than the postal hobby, though lately the number of women in the postal hobby also is down. This is worth thinking about and discussing more.))

(SANDY-MIKE): Get over it boy. I'd say get a grip on yourself, but apparently you had enough of that already. Or, should I say, that you are way ahead of us in knowing the solution to the Y2K Jelly problem.

(MIKE BARNO to BOOB): Many people are leery of fruitcakes in New York. When they find out you think you were abducted by aliens, they treat you like a weirdo, like you wear unmatched outfits or something.

(RICHARD-GEORGIANS): Get the tomahawks (missiles and hand-helds) out of Georgia, Chechnya, Turner Field, and the Turkish silos. This is Allah speaking.

(JODY to JOHN): Moving to Tri seemed the safest place. Assuming you did me no harm, I'll be out next move.

(JODY to MIKE): If you moved to Pie, you deserved that.

(CHILDREN-MOTHER): Go blow yourself - up. Or, as the 7-Up commercials are saying, ``7 - UP YOURS!" You weren't so good at diplomacy with dear old Dad, why should we believe you now. And you always loved little dickie best, probably because he is little dickie.


(JOHN BOY-EVERYONE): In lieu of great press, let me simply offer wishes, from myself and my wife Rose, of a wonderful holiday season and fruitful upcoming year. May you stay forever young and recall from time to time that life is grand.

(SANTA CLAUS - SADDAM): You, of all the people in this game, are being good and will get a present. For the rest of you, happy holidays and I hope you have a coal fireplace.

COME AND HAVE A GO (If You Think You're Hard Enough): 1998V, Diplomacy



Spring 1904

AUSTRIA (Pollard): a UKR-sev, a SER screaming ``Death to the Fuzzyheaded Turks!!!''-bul,

a BUD S a rum, f AEG S a ser-bul, a WAR h, a RUM S a ser-bul.

ENGLAND (Tallman): f nth-den (d r:edi,nwg,ska,hel,otb), f SWE S f nwy,

f NWY S f swe.

FRANCE (Morris): a par-BUR, f eng-LON, a BEL S a par-bur, f mid-ENG,

a MAR S a par-bur, a PIC S a bel.

GERMANY (Sayers): f DEN S f hol-nth, a ber-KIE, f hol-NTH, a MUN h, a ruh-HOL.

ITALY (Munson): f nap-ION, f GRE S AUSTRIAN f aeg-bul(sc) (nso), f wes-MID,

f lvp-CLY, a PIE h, a TYO h.

RUSSIA (Reynolds): f edi-YOR, a MOS gives evil eye to Austria (h), a STP S a mos.

TURKEY (Barno): f SMY-aeg, a BUL S ITALIAN f gre, a CON S a bul,

f BLA S a sev, a SEV S RUSSIAN a mos.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Kent Pollard, 1541 W. San Jose, Fresno, CA 93711 ($4)

ENGLAND: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($4)

terryt of

FRANCE: Scott Morris, 12110 Shelbyville Rd., Louisville, KY 40243, (502) 893-8260 ($5)

Scottm221 of

GERMANY: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA ($10)

100233.513 of

ITALY: Scott Munson, PO Box 1042, Gardiner, MT 59030 ($5)

samunson71 of

RUSSIA: Phil Reynolds, 2896 Oak Street, Sarasota, FL 34237, (813) 953-6952

preyno of

TURKEY: Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883 ($5)

mpbarno of

Game Notes:

1) Note that Scott is moving BACK to his old address. At least for now. Scott is not sure how accessible his hotmail account will be, so treat that as unreliable unless he tells you otherwise.


(RUSSIA to ENGLAND): Feel the pain!

(MIKE to TERRY): Yo, better tell your gnomes or gremlins or whatever (sure they're not kobold miners swapping drinking stories?) that legendry and mythology are NOT among the resources that create armies and fleets in this universe. Finland is NOT a source of useful supply. I'm sure that in Xena's universe, for example, a really culturally resonant piece of elven bard lore might inspire peasants and fishermen, or even mercenary armies and naval forces, to take up arms to avenge a martyr or save an anointed baby or recover a sacred object. But not here-now.

(TURKEY to FRANCE): How long do spelling and punctuation have to wait in order to overcome ``pure genious"? Indeed, how long must logic wait?

(F to GM): I tink da GM is a bit OCD abut speling in my presss. Jim You ar sic. You Must ge Helps. We hav a treetment fer this disorder. :) Misspellers untie against Jim!! ((Oh, go untie yourself! You and Jar Jar Binks ought to go hang together....))

(MIKE to PHIL): How can you suggest that Terry should ``rethink" his strategy? I haven't seen evidence of any thought going into his current approach.

(RUSSIA to FRANCE): You, too, can pummel England!

(F to I): Scott, please don't start a two front war and attack me. MY GOD MAN, it's the Christmas season!!

(AMBASSADOR POLLARD to THE OTTOMAN EMPIRE): ``Zis Var shall continue until such a time zat za Maygars have established zeir own country in za heartland of turkish lands..."

RUSSIA TO AUSTRIA: Pick on someone your own size!

(TURKEY): Yes, it's unexciting to hold and support. But it helps teach Kent the Golden Rule: ``Any deviation will lead to termination." ((If he and what looks like his Italian ally could have gotten their act together, you wouldn't have needed no deviation to be terminated, and that's a fact!))

(MUMBLED AMONG THE SCRIBES IN THE PALACE OF LIGHT AND GLORY): ``Well fer cripes sake, of COURSE the situation is `noht goot' for Austria. If the wankin'-spankin' Roman Empire had been ruled by a loony like the Archduke, it would have fallen in a month no matter how many legions were under arms."

(MIKE to DOC): What? You didn't want to spend another mile-high winter shivering next door to the Underpass Inn? You'll find poached venison (from these wimpy spoon-fed northeastern deer) doesn't have nearly the character of poached Yellowstone bison.

SO GOOD IT HURTS: 1998 P, Regular Diplomacy


Summer 1904

AUSTRIA (K. Ozog): has a GAL, a VIE, f CON, a TYO, a BUL.

ENGLAND (James): has f IRI, f WES, f NWY, f GOL, f MID, f FIN, a GAS.

FRANCE (Kinney): has a MAR, a SPA.

GERMANY (Goesle): has a BER, a MUN, f PRU, f SWE, a BUR, a PIE.

ITALY (Rauterberg): has f TYH, a BOH, f ION, a SIL, a GRE.

RUSSIA (Rusnak): has a SEV, a WAR, f GOB, f BLA, a RUM.

TURKEY (Emmert): R f con-SMY; has a ARM, f AEG, f SMY.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Kurt Ozog, 391 Wilmington Drive, Bartlett, IL 60103, (630) 837-2813

heyday6 of

ENGLAND: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956 ($5)

dkbn of

FRANCE: Mark Kinney, 4820 Westmar Terrace #6, Louisville, KY 40222, (502) 412-3079

alberich of

GERMANY: Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235 ($5)

gozcorp of

ITALY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($5)

prosit of

RUSSIA: Russ Rusnak, 1551 Highridge Avenue, Westchester, IL 60154-3428 ($5)


TURKEY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456-5436, (757) 471-1842 ($4)

Lse of or semmert of

Game Notes:

1) What? Just a retreat....


(KURT - PAUL): Affirmative. My email address will *not* change again.

(AUSTRIAN ARMY FIELD COMMANDER IN GALICIA): ``Gott in Himmel! They just disintegrated!"

(GOZ to JAMES): Oh, no you don't!!! We're not ending football season yet! The Colts are in first and my Illini made the tradition-rich Bowl game. ((But the Bills trashed your Colts in the last regular season game.... I think, I don't pay much attention, but I did notice that.))

(AUSTRIA - GERMANY): Guten Tag Herr Goesle! Wie Geht Es Ihnen?

(GERMANY to AUSTRIA): Ok, now I hear you. You'll hear back too.

(BOOB to GERMANY): But more importantly, do you UNDERSTAND him??



Turn 16

122 (Over the Line!): Flopsy (16), Cottontail (12)
121 (no replenishment): Empty
- F - I - N - A - L - - F - I - N - I - S - H - - L - I - N - E -
120 (replenish with a 3): Stan Marsh, Mopsy
119 (replenish with a 5): Alessandro Cyclotron, Christoph Wheelhub, Eric Cartman, John Logie-Baird
118 (replenish with a 9): Kyle Broslofski
117 (no replenishment): Empty
116 (replenish with a 3): Shane the Chain
115 (replenish with a 4): Peter
114 (no replenishment): Empty
113 (replenish with a 3): Alfred the Great, Bernard Spoke, Curly, Larry
112 (replenish with a 7): Shemp
111 (no replenishment): Empty
110 (replenish with a 3): Moe
109 (no replenishment): Empty
108 (no replenishment): Empty
107 (replenish with a 3): Sir Isaac Newton

95 (replenish with a 3): Broke Leg Meg
94 (replenish with a 4): Chasin' Jason

77 (replenish with a 3): Barkin' Larkin'
76 (replenish with a 4): Damon Velodrome

63 (replenish with a 3): Will Shakespeare

Addresses of the Participants - Their Team and Their Cards

TEAM 1 (Farmer McGregor's Dinner): Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02492

(36 points) 72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

A: Flopsy Across the Line
B: Mopsy 4 4 3
C: Cottontail Right on Flopsy's tail
D: Peter 4 3 4

TEAM 2 (Chef's Crackers): Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY

(37 points) rick_desper of or desper of

Coach is, of course, Chef
A: Stan Marsh (aka the Star Quarterback) 3 7 8 3
B: Kyle Broslofski (aka the Lonely Jew) 8 9 5
C: Kenny McCormick (aka the Pov) Watching Dad's porn videos
D: Eric Cartman (aka the FatAss) 5 5 4

TEAM 3 (Goz Transportation Co.): Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235

(9 points) gozcorp of

A: Alessandro Cyclotron 3 7 3 5
B: Bernard Spoke 3 4 4
C: Christoph Wheelhub 3 5 5
D: Damon Velodrome 3 4 4

TEAM 4 (Brit Pack): John Harrington, 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex, EN1 3UW UK

(17 points) johnh of, fiendish of

A: Alfred the Great 3 3 3 3
B: Sir Isaac Newton 3 4 3
C: Will Shakespeare 3 3 3
D: John Logie-Baird 4 4 5

TEAM 5 (The Stoogecycles): David Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033

(23 points) rebhuhn of

A: Curly 3 4 4
B: Larry 3 3 3
C: Moe 3 3 3
D: Shemp 3 7 3

TEAM 6 (The Flat Wheel Society): John Schultz, #19390, MCF POB900, D331, Bunker Hill, IN 46914

(4 points)

A: Broke Leg Meg 3 3 3
B: Shane the Chain 4 3 4
C: Barkin' Larkin' 3 3 3
D: Chasin' Jason 4 4 3

Game Notes:

1) We're all done at this point. If I have everything straight, Stan Marsh storms across to get 10 points, followed closely by Mopsy with 8. Then with A riders first, C riders second, and Cartman breaking the tie among the D riders: Alessandro gets 6, Christophe 4, and FatAss Cartman gets the last two points. This makes the final scores Rick 49, Eric second with 44, David third with 23, Warren getting fourth with the late run at 19, the Designer at 17, and the Flat Wheelers bringing up the rear with only 4. Check me here to see that I am right and send in your endgame statements or last press for next issue! Rick, the winner, gives the same analysis below.... but we don't want to trust him, do we??


(GOZ TRANSPORTATION CO., QUARTERLY REPORT to THE PARENT COMPANY, GOZ & CO., INC.): Profits down $15M this quarter, about what was expected. All divisions spending as heavily as possible to make new acquisitions in anticipation of bankruptcy reorganization. Sadly, we only see a couple of small ones on the horizon. The chairman's 7-year-old niece has been retired and sent back to 2nd Grade, in hopes that she'll grow up to do better elsewhere. So far she's asked for a $4M advance on her allowance, so it appears that she did learn something from the experience.

(CHEF - GOZ): Close. You're missing the fact that the first tiebreaker is A > B > C > D in terms of which rider moves first. So, Stan will pass Mopsy, but Christoph Wheelhub will pass Eric Cartman. I get 1,4,8, you get 6 and 7 while Eric gets 2,3, and 5. Logie-Baird can pull even with Cartman at 119, but has no tie-breakers to pass him, since they are both D riders, Cartman's other cards are better (only barely) and Cartman gets to 119 before Logie-Baird does. Also, more television viewers know who Eric Cartman is than know who John Logie-Baird is. The bottom line is you get enough points to pull clear of the Brits, and the Bunnies are two points further behind the kids.

(GOZ SECOND COMMENT ON THE UPCOMING ENDGAME): Ok, maybe I was wrong...sue me.

(DAMON to TFWS): Uh, thanks. Funny, it doesn't LOOK like a six...

(TFWS - EVERYONE AND ALL): It's been a joy, the press has been wonderful, I'm not dead last (well, points wise I guess I am), but that's okay 'cuz life can be grand and my wife, Rose, and myself would like to wish all within reading distance a happy holiday season and an abundant year to come. See ya' next game. I'll do much better, I promise. At least, 7 or 8 points. Tremble in your bicycle shoes, rascals.

(BUNNIES-CHEF): We were hoping you weren't planning rabbit stew!

(ANDRUSCHAK-CHEF): I have repeatedly informed the GM that he has the choice to publish my press in the Modern Diplomacy Game (where I am still on the roster, even if eliminated) or in Breaking Away (since I have a team in the next event), or to omit part or all of it if he feels it is too long, not appropriate, or simply in bad taste. He IS The Editor, after all. We must respect his grey hairs and not overwork him. What I would really like to do, of course, is buy him a new wheelchair, and take him to some cliff with an awesome view. Then push the wheelchair (and him) over the cliff. Much better GM abuse than just dropping a nuke on him. Think of the screams all the way down!

(McGREGOR-CHEF): Congratulations; it looks like you are going to beat me by a whisker!

(GTCO. to NEWTON): Although somewhat strapped for cash, we DO have the $5K needed for a hitman after the race...hopefully you got enough from Vegas to hire enough bodyguards to protect yourself.

(CAMOMILE TEA DRINKERS-FIELD): I was hoping that at least my fourth place rider would finish before anyone else's, but it doesn't even look as though I will accomplish that.

(MOPSY-STAN): Come up here to space 120 and let's duke it out for fourth place!

(MOPSY-STAN): Is a Marsh anything like a briar patch?

(PETER): If it hadn't been for the fact that I got the button on my jacket caught, I think we might have won!

(BOOB-PETER): I loved it, perfect!! Too bad you couldn't win too....

(CHEF - GM): Interesting column by Rob Neyer which is described as ``MVP voter is a turkey". Apparently George King of the NY Post has explained his decision to not include Pedro Martinez as one of the TEN best candidates for MVP this year by complaining about the big contract that Kevin Brown signed. This is the type of logic which I would usually reward with an `F' if I saw it on a Calculus exam. (Um, in addition to cooking the kids' meals, I also teach Calculus in my spare time. OK, I'm falling out of character, sue me!) Anyway, last year, George King included David Wells and Rick Helling on his MVP ballot. This year, he put Derek Jeter as #1 and left Pedro off completely. So, to relate what Rob Neyer says Dan Shaughnessy said about this:

``One of three things happened here:

1. King changed his mind about the worthiness of pitchers for MVP;

2. King thought Pedro Martinez in 1999 was something less than Wells and Helling in 1998;

3. King wanted to stick it to Boston and take care of the Yankees."

Number 2 seems hard to believe. Nay, impossible. It seems clear that King did #3, trying to game the system by torpedoing the candidacy of the greatest rival to Jeter. Ironically, King give Pudge a 2nd place vote. He probably figured it was safer than giving this vote to Manny Ramirez. Turned out to be a bad choice.

It's a depressing time of year for the Boston sports fan. The Pats are doing the now-annual Second Half Swoon. Maybe we can hope that Carroll gets axed at the end of the year? He's clearly the weakest head coach in the division. If Testaverde had not gotten hurt, the Pats would be clearly headed for last place this year. They may still be headed there, based on how the Jets and Pats have been playing recently. Meanwhile, the Celtics still have problems with emotional maturity (i.e. how can they blow so many big leads?) I suppose the Bruins are the best of the bunch, but I'm not much for hockey. Time to wait for the UCONN teams to really kick into gear. ((Yeah, go Lady Huskies!! And yes, Pete Carroll is gone.))

Final sports comment: I'm tired of hearing Boston Globe writers moan about how the Celtics were ``unlucky" when they did not get a chance to draft Tim Duncan. They had the best chance of all the teams, that's true, but their odds were only about 1/3. A continued belief that somehow the Celtics were jobbed is a sign of what has been called ``innumeracy". The odds that the Celtics would NOT get the pick were twice as high as the odds that they would. And once they didn't get the first pick, Vancouver was allowed into the mix, so the Celtics didn't have the best odds for getting #2. They did get #3, and nobody forced them to draft Chauncey Billups. ((No indeed, let's see if the Celtics can get Antoine and Pierce both acting like superstars at the same time. Then they have the role players to do the rest.))



Addresses of the Participants - Their Team and Their Cards

TEAM 1 (The Wrecking Crew): Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202

(0 points) Tapmdfrance of

Team Leader: Thanatos
A: War 15 8 7
B: Pollution 9 9 7
C: Pestilence 7 7 6
D: Famine 6 5 5

TEAM 2 (The Evangelists): Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02492

(0 points) 72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

A: Matthew 1 3 11 15
B: Mark 4 6 15
C: Luke 2 5 13
D: John 3 4 9

TEAM 3 (Brit Pack): John Harrington, 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex, EN1 3UW UK

(0 points) johnh of, fiendish of

A: Alfred the Great 3 1 11 15
B: Sir Isaac Newton 4 6 15
C: Will Shakespeare 3 6 11
D: John Logie-Baird 2 3 11

TEAM 4 (Amateur League Inciting Cycle Exchange): Tom Howell, 1011 West 18th Street #1,

(0 points) Port Angeles, WA 98363-7413; off-the-shelf of

A: White Rabbit 4 5 6 15
B: March Hare 5 7 13
C: Mad Hatter 5 6 9
D: Mock Turtle 4 6 6

TEAM 5 (The Mainiacs): David Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033

(0 points) rebhuhn of

A: Darrell A 15 10 4 1
B: Darrell B 14 3 8
C: Darrell C 13 2 5
D: Buhrt 12 1 3

TEAM 6 (The Flat Wheel Society): John Schultz, #19390, MCF POB900, D331, Bunker Hill, IN 46914

(0 points)

A: Broke Leg Meg 4 10 10 6
B: Shane the Chain 8 8 9
C: Barkin' Larkin' 6 7 7
D: Chasin' Jason 5 6 5

Game Notes:

1) Finally we get this one started! Get your orders in now!

2) David wanted his riders just noted as ``Darrell'' but I think we (and me) need to be able to tell them apart ``on the road''.


(HARRY ANDRUSCHAK-BOOB): TAP #226, with an alleged deadline of 20 November, arrived on 3 December. For that, you deserve some more GM abuse. However, I am not sure you can print the ancient Greek alphabet, so I will have to use a modern English translation. As Usual, the following press may be printed in either the Breaking Away game or the Modern Diplomacy game. Or omitted if you feel there is too much of it, or it is not suitable for being printed in TAP. ((First off, of course I can print aWbG. Second of all, it's fine, but let's put it all here in the game you are now starting.))

(ARISTOPHANES, ANCIENT GREEK PLAYWRIGHT-GM): ``You have all the characteristics of a popular politician; a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.''

(ALICE - DESIGNER): After you, sir!

(LINDA TRIPP-WORLD): I have launched an internet site to solicit donations to help pay my legal bills. Please point your web browser to

(KINDER, GENTLER FALWELL): As part of my campaign pretending to appear to be more moderate to Gays, I now believe that Tinky Winky will not burn in hell for all eternity, but only during the commercial breaks.

(THANATOS to WORLD): Let me reassure all that we are really a nice team and just want to have fun. OK boys, say something inspirational and motivational for the other contestants...

``Procrastination: Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.''

``Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.''

``Mediocrity: It takes a lot less time, and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.''

``Pessimism: Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people every year who are trying to find it.''

(DATELINE WASHINGTON): There was a shortage of turkeys in the Capitol this last holiday weekend, as they were out stumping in other States to try out their new campaign slogans:

Warren Beatty: ``A Man Who Could Realistically Be Father Of This Country''

Bill Bradley: ``It Can Happen''

George Bush: ``He'll Get Tough With What's-His Name''

Steve Forbes: ``The OTHER White Billionaire''

Alan Keyes: ``Save An Endangered Species, Vote For A Black Republican''

Donald Trump: ``Voter, Voter In The Stall, Who's The Prettiest Of Them All?''

(ALICE - ALL): Anyone seen a cat fading in and out? Chessie's our mascot.

(HARRY ANDRUSCHAK-JIM BURGESS): Last week the LA TIMES magazine had an article about Jim Svejda, long time classical music disk jockey at KUSC-FM. I have always admired Jim's integrity. He alone refused to dumb down his program when the rest of KUSC went over to ``the NEW! sound of classical music''. The most obvious result of this new format was the loss of 70% of the subscriber base. The less obvious result was that KKGO-FM commercial classical music station was able to get well established. This makes Los Angeles unique in the USA, perhaps in the world, of having two 24 hour classical music stations. Because KUSC, after almost going bankrupt, went back to, um, ``classical'' classical music. Although KUSC tends to play more 20th Century classical music than KKGO. And by the way, I always listen to Jim's ``New Year's Eve Bash''. This year will be no exception. Yes, I plan to spend 31 December 1999 warm and snug in my bedroom, listening to Jim Svejda. Did I mention that I have copies of all six editions of his book The Insider's Guide to Classical Recordings? Nowadays I support KUSC with a Senior's Membership of $25/year.

FEAR AND WHISKEY: 1998Ers31, Modern Diplomacy


Autumn and Winter 2000

BRITAIN (Schultz): R a nav otb; rem f sao; has f NTH, f NOR, a STP,

f MUR, f GOB, f BIS, f MAO.

EGYPT (J. O'Donnell): has f ARA, a SYR, a MOR, f WME, a ALB,

a KAZ, f SOG, a SIB, f EME.

GERMANY (Rauterberg): R a aus-SWI, a mos otb, a bie-WAR, a pod-KRA; bld f ham;

has f HAM, a MUN, a RUH, a BEL, f BHM, a MIL, a SWI, a SWE, a CZE, a WAR, a SLO,

a PAR, a PIE, f BER, a LYO, f BAL, a KRA.

ITALY (Ozog): has a TUS, a ROM, a CRO, f LIG,

a VEN, f ADR, a MON, f MAR, a AUS, f GRE.

RUSSIA (Ellis): rem a est; has a GOR.

SPAIN (S. O'Donnell): bld f sve; has f SVE, a MAD, a POR, a NAV, f GIB,

a BOR, a BAR.

UKRAINE (Partridge): bld a sev, a ode, a kha; has a SEV, a ODE, a KHA,

a POD, a MOL, a BIE, f EBS, a MOS, a KIE, f IST, a GEO, a RUM, a HUN.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: John Schultz, #19390, MCF POB900, D331, Bunker Hill, IN 46914

EGYPT: Jeff O'Donnell, 402 Middle Ave., Elyria, OH 44035-5728, (440) 322-2920 ($4)

FRANCE: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202 ($5)

Tapmdfrance of

GERMANY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

ITALY: Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138, (360) 691-4264 ($4)

ElfEric of

POLAND: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

RUSSIA: Randy Ellis, 9501 W 89th, Apt 201, Overland Pk, KS 66212

Changing his E-Mail address to ???

SPAIN: Sean O'Donnell, 126 S. Park, Oberlin, OH 44074, (440) 774-2928 ($5)

sean_o_donnell of, seanside of

TURKEY: Kent Pollard, 1541 W. San Jose, Fresno, CA 93711, (209) 225-0957 ($10)

UKRAINE: Dave Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033 ($8)

rebhuhn of

Game Notes:

1) Check out the Modern Dip web page at: Cyberia/modern.htm


(THE MEKONS QUOTE OF THE MONTH): ``the little machine elf blinked... ...its eyes opened very wide... opened its tiny little mouth... ...spoke in a strange new language:


the creature blinked again...its eyes open wide... it spoke again...the voice had changed from machine speak to the deep southern drawl of an American President:... `Today the principle measure of our wealth is information: its quality, its quantity and the speed with which we acquire it and adapt to it...' '' A Mekons quote of unknown origin.... stolen off the Internet.

(BRITAIN-GERMANY): You made your move a little early pard. Now you have an enemy behind you with 5 or 6 potentially dangerous units out of 8.

(GERMAN EMBASSY, MOSCOW): The Ambassador announced today that the Armed Forces of the Greater Reich were not shaken by their sudden retreats on the Eastern Front. ``We were overextended, and could hardly feed our own soldiers this Winter; much less the poor indigenous peasantry of the region. We will leave that task to the Ukrainian `breadbasket', and will find the fishing in the North Sea to be more than adequate for ourselves."

(SPANISH REPLY): You see me and Heath as far as I know are the youngest players in the game of Diplomacy and he is 15 and I'm 18 so we'll die around the same time so when you guys die I'll win. There won't be anyone left to play, but Heath. ((I see, I see....))

(BRITAIN-WORLD): I will hold at the MAO. Don't even think it, or ask. It'll take you way too many game years for too little progress. As for any other options, I'm game, just write.

(GERMAN SPY REPORT): We have it on good authority that Egyptians plan to lay an oil pipeline from Siberia to Arabia, and to corner the market on that commodity. Humf!

(JOHN BOY - > ALL YOU GUYS): With all deepest sincerity, have a really great holiday and an even greater year to come.

SHOW ME THE MONEY: 1997Mea04, Colonial Diplomacy


Autumn and Winter 1907

BRITAIN (York): R a kag-TIB, f rs-ERI, a sik-YUN; rem a tib, a yun;

has a PUN, a BEN, f ADEN, a KAR, f ERI, f HK, f MAL, f ARA(NC), f BOB, a KAM, f CAN.

FRANCE (Sasseville): R f gos otb; has f ANN, a U.BUR, f CAM, f TON, a MAY, a BAN, a BOM, a ASS.

HOLLAND (Desper): bld f bor, f java; has f BOR, f JAVA, f GOS, f AS, f FOR,

f WIO, f MP, a RAN, f SUN.S, f SCS.

JAPAN (K. Ozog): has f OS, a KYO, a SHA, a VLA, f ECS, f NAN,

a MAC, f UP, f YS, f SOJ, a SEO.

RUSSIA (Williams): R a pun-RAJ; bld a omsk, a mos; has a OMSK, a MOS, a AFG, a MON,

a TAS, a RAJ, a URU, a PER, f EGY, a SYR, a SIK, a SHI, a PEK, a KAG, a CHU, f RS.

TURKEY (Tallman): has a BAG, f SUD.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Andy York, PO Box 201117, Austin, TX 78720-1117

wandrew of

CHINA: Rich Goranson, 4351 Chestnut Ridge Road, #7 Amherst, NY, 14228-3227 ($5)

ForlornH of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

HOLLAND: Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY (E-Mail)

rick_desper of or desper of

JAPAN: Kurt Ozog, 391 Wilmington Drive, Bartlett, IL 60103, 630-837-2813

heyday6 of

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (661) 297-3947 ($5)

wllmsfmly of

TURKEY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($0)

terryt of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The Russian concession, BHJFT draw and BHRJ draw are all rejected. Now here are some highly favored draws with some REAL class. I'm not taking any more of these silly draws that sound like babies spitting up! HJ (Howard Johnson's), HR (House Rules), and HBT (Hobbit?) draws are proposed. Please vote with your spring orders on these bodacious proposals. Oh yeah, I guess I will allow a reproposal of the Russian concession as well. Vote on that with your spring orders too.


(TSAR to DUTCH UNCLE): Either you were spoofing my rant at York from a few turns back, or else you are beginning to know how I feel about Andy's play. No communication.... ruination of my plans with Jonas... aimless attacks north.... Tell you what, Rick - you go find Luke and I'll go scare up Jonas, and we'll get this game back on track PDQ. Deal?

(JAPAN - HOLLAND): Oh, is that Holland down there?! Hey, howya doing? Good to see ya!

(TSAR to DUTCH UNCLE): Never was much good at pop quizzes, but I'll guess the answer is, uh, you'll get to Arabia more quickly. Question back at you: who cares? Is there a dot there hiding under all that sand?

(OZOGSAN - TSAR): Ah, didn't you forget something last turn? Hint- It starts with an `S'. Shall we try something else?

(TSAR - TSULTAN): Watch it, Terry, or I get me a new Ottoman bitch.

(RUSSIA to HOLLAND): The ``Baby Doe'' doll could be fun if it came with its own Swiss bank account. Or if it were part of a Dictators of the World Collector's Set: Buy 'em! Trade 'em! Collect all twenty-four! There's the Africa series, the Europe series, the Asian and South American series, too!

(DON to ROLAND): I beg to differ with our Dutch Uncle but, in Diplomacy, it's always personal. Fight on. ((Hey, I thought it always was NOT personal..... where did I go wrong?? I must have missed something, what was it???))

(TSAR to GM): Hey, in celebration of our army's great victory over China (now known as New Russia, by-the-way), I have been informed that in my honor a great Russian river has been named for me.... the Don River. I could cry. ((Well, exCUUUUse me! That's as personal as you can get.... and just as irrelevant.))

(RUSSIA to BRITAIN): Ready to come to the peace table yet? Forty years from now, Gandhi may well be trying that civil disobedience crap on a Russian bureaucrat. On us, it will never work.

(TSAR to DESPER-ATE MAN): Repent, desper-ate one! Soon! Now! This instant! Before it's too late and the Mutant Butler comes to call.

Diplomatic Immunity Scoreboard, A Christmas Carol Edition

DIS's cast of new ``A Christmas Carol'' players: Richgore, the long-gone ghost of players' past. Andyork, the silent ghost of players' present. Tallman as ``Bad Crochety'', in search of his Christmas Turkey. Japan as Ozogenezer Scroozoge, out to humble everyone. And our ever lovin' GM as Tiny Jim, the cripple.


RUSSIA Good: Wearing down the bad guys.
Bad: Getting flabby, ain't he?
FLYING DUTCHMAN Cool name, great game, never lame, wants fame.
MCCAIN We thinks we likes it, don't we my Precious?
POKÉMON Good: There is no good.
Bad: 15 minutes ain't up yet.
1999 It was a very good year for small town girls,
and soft summer nights....
2000 Hope it lives up to the hype.
Y2K1 Why not?

Personal Note to You:

File translated from TEX by TTH, version 1.66.