October 30, 1999

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287

Accessible through Internet at burgess of; FAX to (401) 277-9904

Note that the szine is really, really late and that all deadlines are adjusted to compensate. More details below.


Note that this is a NEW extended deadline here too. David wishes me to pass along that orders are being accepted until the new deadline, so if you missed the old one, you've still got time to get them in. This especially applies to the new game starts! I have to get MY orders in, for example.

The Diplomatic Incident was another great time, though as usual I only was there on Saturday. John Quarto came up from New York and Goz came in from wherever it is he lives in the Midwest ;-) The real surprise was Nick Parish from England..... well, he really only came from Montreal, but he was great to play with. The main Diplomacy game I played in had Nick as Austria, me as Italy, and Dave Partridge as Germany. Nick started out with that common British opening that I seldom see here, the agreed upon bounce with F Tri-Ven. It surprised me, because I was planning to move to Tyrolia, of course! Well, I went with it and started an attack on Turkey anyway. We tried to form a Central Powers alliance at various points as first England and Turkey and then Russia went down for the count. With four players left, Nick and Dave both started driving for a win and I made a mad dash for the Iberian peninsula in hopes of solidifying a draw position. I only made it as far as Spain(SC) with the hapless French player in Portugal. The French player and I did our darndest to threaten throws of the win to Dave and Nick in turn. But NOOOOOOOO!!!! They wouldn't do it. Finally, they wiped me out first, and then, with Austria at 17, there was nothing to stop Austria from supporting Germany to Portugal for his 17th. A true 17-17 in a FTF game. Quite rare, but well played. Nick didn't know how much he had taken me out of my game, and David was sitting there laughing at my predicament! Usually, I get taken out by some outlandish stab gone awry in these games, but not this time. Oh well, then we were up for two hands of Family Business, one of my favorite card games. I can't recall who won the first, but I won the second.

The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada, a bargain at twice the price.... but you can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and future game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $20.00 ($15.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). Note the price increases for games, with the rates for subbing to the szine holding fixed for the moment. After the current series of games, I probably won't start another until the Modern game ends. The new game at that point probably will be another Modern game with the ``Wing'' rule.

Check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch with all of the information you need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at:

Through Stephen Agar's (who is still in charge here) Postal portion of the Pouch:

the szine resides in html format. Presently, issues from #190 to the current issue are there, and I will be updating the back issues gradually in the near future. Also, check out Stephen's new ``all electronic'' format for Spring Offensive at:

The most recent issue of TAP also can be accessed through Pete Sullivan's web page and occasionally David Wang's:

1) David has grabbed and reserved the HIGHLY prized name:!! David Wang's site also allows you to follow John Caruso's postal baseball league that I am in. My Boston Red Sox in that league captured the Eastern Division title and defeated Lance Phillips' Anaheim Angels in the playoffs, Gary Behnen's Blue Jays finish dead last, Don Ditter's Indians think they have a clean path to the World Series, but really haven't the starting pitching to make it, so Richard Edison's Twins beat them out and then beat me, Dave Anderson's Tigers beat me up badly on the last turn, but fail to beat out the Twins for the last playoff spot by one game. World Series results next time..... the hated Yankees defeat the Red Sox in the real world in the meanwhile and torch the Braves to win it all.

2) For the most recent issue of Pete Sullivan's subszine check out:

Pete is looking for Railway Rivals standbys, but otherwise, he is full with games at the moment.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!!


No sign of Michael yet. I'm sure Michael is on the Internet somewhere and I always thought he was fun to have around. Someone will find him. This is big bucks for me AND for the people who find the missing. This search will carry through to Issue #230.

Let's get Kevin, Garret, Jerry, and Al found too!!!

This is a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Garret Schenck or Jerry Lucas or Al Pearson is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, finance a web page, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for.

This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.


The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 3UW, UK.

E-Mail: fiendish of or johnh of

Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally or in GBP to John if you're doing things from that end. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse. There has been some interest in finding a new Australian representative. Should someone Down Under have an interest, or from anywhere else in the world, please contact me.


This section explains the most important reason why the szine is very, very late. Unlike other delays, this really is a DIPLOMACY related delay. I think we may have to deal with similar delays at times through the beginning of the New Year, though I am going to try to get myself under control!

If you've had your head under a tree, the World's Largest Diplomacy Tournament is currently underway by E-Mail, featuring over 550 players from all around the world. TAP readers who are participating are ENCOURAGED to write in commentaries on games, or teams, or whatever. The TAP team will be a special focus, even though most of this szine's best players abandoned me for other teams. We shall beat their butts into the ground. I shall show them what opposing me means!!

I am playing Austria for the TAP team and got placed in a game with the infamous Toby Harris as Turkey. Toby did the full anti-Russian opening while Russia moved a mos-STP. In Spring 1901, I bounced the Russian in BOTH Galicia and Rumania while moving my fleet to Albania. Italy moved to Apulia and Tuscany with his armies and so there are NO threatening units to Trieste and Venice for Fall 1901 and in fact Austria has absolutely NO foreign units adjacent to its home centers. I have no further comment, but an interesting position, isn't it? Today, we are at Spring 1902 and Serbia is still unclaimed and likely to remain unclaimed in 1902 as well.

The delay in this issue by three weeks (all deadlines were pushed back as a result) was almost entirely due to this new tournament since I am both playing and GMing on one week deadlines. Until this tournament winds down in the Winter, there may be other delays. I hope not, by giving myself a full three weeks, that the next deadline in December will hit fine, and then we will take the usual Christmas break into January. Many TAPers are in this tournament too, and they won't mind. For the rest of you, shame on you for not entering!!!

I do have the comment from numerous people though that they would rather that TAP carry on, on schedule, even in relative warehouse format. Everyone is hereby warned of this likelihood. This may push a few things into the New Year.

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

A VERY light discussion is taking place that will address what stance we (the hobby) should take (proactive in some way for sure) toward Hasbro, the new owners of the rights to Diplomacy. More on this will be forthcoming, but it looks like Hasbro might have its version of Diplomacy on the market for the Christmas season and they actually will be employing ``play-testers''. No word on precisely what this means yet, could it mean that they will offer a series of ``official'' variants? Stay tuned.... If you want to be part of the discussion, send the MESSAGE:

subscribe hasbro

to majordomo of, it works just like the tap mailing list described below. Sending messages to hasbro of sends the mail to the whole list. The big news this time is the beginning of the breakout of Hasbro into official contact with the hobby. See the two messages below.

The game Diplomacy is a copyrighted product owned by Hasbro and all reproductions or other use of that material in this szine is intended to be personal use and not infringe on those rights in any way. All reproductions are done at a heavy financial loss to the editor and thus are without the remotest possibility of commercial intent, except to promote THE game, the Game of Diplomacy, which you all should purchase from Hasbro or other duly licensed distributors.

I have received a packet of Diplomacy World and other material from Doug Kent that I will pass along to the relevant parties. I think that Pitt Crandlemire will be FULLY reviving Diplomacy World in some form in the VERY near future. For those interested in writing articles, this would be a good time to start writing or contacting Pitt at pittc of to assess interest in your article topics. A warning: if you're primarily interested in SUBSCRIPTION balances, Doug Kent is in bankruptcy court and we are NOT getting any money any time soon for anything from him, though my discussions on these matters with Doug have been quite cordial. So, PLEASE, hold your horses on discussing or raising any money issues until Pitt can figure out what he is going to do.

Jamie McQuinn (Tue, 12 Oct 1999 00:04:09 -0400)

Fellow Diplomats,

I have what I think is some terrific news for the Hobby.

As many of you know I have been the custodian of the Hoosier Archives of Diplomacy Zines.

This collection, created by Walt Buchanan, contains virtually every Diplomacy zine published in North America from the beginnings of the Hobby to 1978. When I accepted custody of the collection, it was with the understanding that I would preserve it and make it available to Hobbyists and researchers. My ultimate goal was to find a permanent home for it in an academic library/archive.

I am please to announce that today I filled up my van with 33 cases and delivered the Hoosier Archives to the Popular Culture Library of Bowling Green State University here in Ohio. They already have a small collection of fanzines (SF, music, etc., even some Diplomacy World) and are delighted to add these to their collection.

Alison Scott, the Head Librarian, will be inventorying these items over the next several months, and then will begin the process of cataloging. The remainder of the Hoosier Archives collection (consisting of correspondence, Diplomacy World subscription records and camera ready copy) along with the more recent acquisition of the Hobby Award plaques will be part of an archival special collection.

All of these items will be available at the Popular Culture Library for Hobbyists and/or researchers to access. I believe that this is the best solution for the archives. I always considered the archives to only be in my care temporarily. Now they have a permanent home. I have been in communication with Walt Buchanan about this and he gives his blessings as well. And now they are out of my basement (just in time, since I may be moving again soon).

This now brings up two more important issues. First, does she want more? You bet. When I took on the HA, I received queries from several people asking if I wanted more. I said no! No room! When I asked the Head Librarian she said, ``yes, please!" So, those of you who have large zine collections and are loathe to toss them, here's your chance. As I said, they collect Diplomacy and just about any other type of fanzine. However, before you send her anything, please contact her directly and let her know what you have. Here is her contact information:

Alison M. Scott

Head Librarian

Popular Culture Library

Bowling Green State University

Bowling Green, Ohio 43403


mailto:alisonms of

Keep in mind of course, that if you are going to donate your zines to the library, it is up to you to get them there. They do not have any funds available to purchase your zines or pay for shipping. Which brings us to the second point: No gift to a library is truly free. They will have many costs associated with the processing of the collection. Besides the staff time involved, they will need to purchase archival quality storage materials that will preserve the archives (folders, boxes, etc.). If you or other members of the Hobby would like to make donations to the library for the Hoosier Archives, they will be gratefully accepted.

Make your checks payable to: ``Popular Culture Library"

Mail them directly to Alison Scott at the address above, with a notation that you wish this gift directed to the Hoosier Archives.

As part of the collection, I also received two cases of back issues of Diplomacy World from the 1970's. These are multiple copies that were never sold when Walt was publishing DW. With Walt's permission I am going to sell these back issues as a fund raiser for the library. Watch for more information soon.

Please pass this information on throughout the Hobby. Print it in your zines, post it on the Diplomacy newsgroup and in the Diplomatic Pouch, etc. If anyone has any questions, feel free to contact me.

Jamie McQuinn, Former Custodian of the Hoosier Archives, jmcquinn of

((I say, hurray! Let's hear from Walt Buchanan directly.))

Walt Buchanan (Sat, 09 Oct 1999 08:33:42 -0400)


I'm delighted at this news. It is good to know the HA now has a permanent home, and I want to thank you for your efforts. It will be interesting to see if this ever generates a Ph.D dissertation on a postal community. Actually, I was approached about that years ago, but I don't think anything came of it.

Of course you have my blessing to sell the back issues of DW as a fund raiser for the library. I would also to happy to work with Alison if she has any questions about the collection in the future. BTW, note my new email address.

Best regards, Walt, buchanan of

((Thanks, Walt, now in keeping with hearing from a few of the hobby's most senior figures.... we have Cal White on this topic and Edi Birsan on something completely different.))

Cal White (Sat, 30 Oct 1999 22:54:18 GMT)

Man, O Man, I'm glad I decided to wade through this newsgroup after getting out of the hospital as this is some of the best news I could imagine. ((Cal recently had surgery and we all pass along best wishes for a SPEEDY recovery!!!)) I had the honour to spend a night at Walt's place in 1976 and got the opportunity after Walt crashed to sift through the archives. Graustark #1, Costaguana #1, Runestone #1, any of the Poictesmes (pronounced Ptooey!) plus a lot of other things. You've done a good thing for hobby history by placing these zines in a place that (hopefully) knows how to look after and honour them.

Now if Larry Peery would be struck by a similar thought...

Cal White, Toronto, diplomat of

Former publisher of Janus, Electra Glide Blue, I Can Do Anything I Wanna Do, I'm a Bus, The Many Loves of Vampirella and Northern Flame, Volume I

((Indeed, if Larry Peery only were.....))

Edi Birsan (2 Oct 1999 02:13:57 GMT)

A player support group is being formed world wide to be called the Diplomatic Corps. It is a non-profit incorporated in North Carolina.

The purpose of the DC is to provide a network of people world wide who can help demonstrate the game or want to participate in the game in any of its various forms: face to face (FTF), by email, postally, real time email, conventions and tournaments.

The organization will also collect a membership fee ($15) and any donations etc that can be obtained so as to channel them back to the hobby. For example providing reduced costs for hotel stays at the World DipCon, providing prize support to tournaments etc.

We will be having some support from Hasbro who has already provided some prize support for the World Email Masters Tournament.

The org will provide a quarterly newsletter and is establishing the usual web sites shortly.

We can all expect a large influx of players shortly with the re-issue of Diplomacy both as a computer game with interactive/net gaming and as a new board game from Hasbro.

Having been in the hobby for the last 33 years I will be heading this up initially and look forward to as much support as I can get from all of you on this adventure.

Please contact me at: edi of

- - - - - - - - -

((Follow up with more details, lots of people are getting involved in this.))


The Diplomatic Corps is a non profit world wide player group to help support and promote the Diplomacy playing hobby be it through face to face games, tournaments, email or postal play.

We will be providing a network of contacts around the world who will help host, Gamesmaster, and demonstrate the play of Diplomacy. We will be providing services to the players such as information on play, various rating systems, support for local- regional-international tournaments and working with Hasbro to bring new players into the main streams of play.

Initially the group will be headed up by Edi Birsan who has been in the hobby over 3 decades and has had experience with hobby groups going back to the early 70's.

Membership fees will be collected and used to provide for prize support as well as promote the international aspects of the hobby. Membership fee is set at US$15. Registration can be made by email to: edi of

by post to: Diplomatic Corps c/o Midnight Games; PO Box 280; Medford OR 97501 USA

Credit cards (MC, Visa, American Express)

Some of the projects already under way are:

1. Donation of Best Country award plaques to the World Email Masters Tournament (currently going with 79 boards in the initial round).

2. Establishment of a donation fund for International overseas housing support for the World DipCon 2000 in Baltimore next August. Currently collected is $300 to provide some housing for the long distance travelers.

3. Tournament Rules Guide directed to the Tournament Director to give him an over view of different approaches and a template to cut and paste his own views into. We recognize the importance of local directors autonomy and wish to support it.

The Diplomatic Pouch will be the official zine of the DC and for those non Email members we will make arrangements for paper mailings.

Thanks, Edi Birsan, edi of

Doug Beyerlein

We have now moved into our new condo.

Our new address is: 15800 Village Green Drive #3, Mill Creek, WA 98012.

Now we just have to unpack all of the boxes.

Doug and Marie Beyerlein, atc-hspf of

((Thanks, Doug, just keeping all your pals up to date on where you are, wouldn't want you to become ``lost'' again!))


This section is about to get a whole lot slimmer. Here are the last and final votes. Now I need to figure out some timings and get together to actually make a master tape. Then I'll find a commercial service to copy them for me. Once I find the cost of that, I will let people know the cost. I am leaning toward a five dollar fee, so the people I've chosen below for five dollar awards automatically get them for free. There are a few other selected individuals who've been sending me tapes and CD's and things who also will get them for free.

To encourage voting early, I picked five voters at random to receive five US dollars from me (either in cash or paid to someone for Dip stuff or to get a free tape). Tony Dickinson won the Round 5 prize, so we had three of the six Round 1 voters won and one of the three Round 2 postal voters who also got five chances to win. That showed the value of getting in early!! Voters in Round 1 were Mike Barno($5), Rick Desper ($5), Tony Dickinson ($5), Drew James, Heath Gardner, and John Harrington. Round 2 postal voters were John Schultz ($5) Ian Moore, and Stan Johnson. Round 2 E-Mail voters got four chances and were Scott Morris, Warren Goesle, Peter Sullivan, and Michael Lowrey. Round 3 voters were Dick Martin, Richard Weiss, and Rip Gooch; they got three chances to win. Round 4 voters were Roland Sasseville, Jr. ($5), Don Williams, Brent McKee (2 votes left), and Andy York; they got two chances. Round 5 voters were Mark Larzelere, Al Tabor, Jody McCullough, and that's it.

We'll end up with a monster party tape at the end of it that I plan to segue and sequence and copy for distribution. The result will be a great New Millenium party tape - we're going for 90 minutes. I've also been thinking that I should put this out on CD as truly emblematic of the new millenium. I don't have the capability to do that quite yet, but I think I might by then. Any suggestions (or especially volunteers) on this front will be cheerfully accepted and could receive monetary payments! The CD way may still occur if someone steps forward and actually does it for me.

So far, we have ``I Melt With You'' by Modern English; George Gershwin's ``I got Plenty O' Nuttin' '' from Porgy and Bess in the 1957 concert recording with Ella Fitzgerald finishing off the vocals after Louis Armstrong blows and sings through the tune; Duke Ellington performing Billy Strayhorn's ``Take the A Train''; Frank Sinatra's ``New York, New York''; something from the B-52's; the original Van Morrison and Them version of ``Gloria''; The (English) Beat's 12 inch version of ``Save It for Later'' ratchets things up to the next level (wherever you put it!); Buster Poindexter's ``Hot, Hot, Hot'' keeps you there; ``Atomic Dog'' by George Clinton blows the doors off, and Koko Taylor cleans up singing Willie Dixon's ``Wang Dang Doodle''. After I get timings down, I'll choose exactly which songs below make the list.

EXTRA SPECIAL B-52'S BULLPEN: (7) ``Love Shack''; ``Rock Lobster". ((A tie, a tie!!!!)) (3) NONE; ``Planet Claire''. (2)``Give Me Back My Man"; ``Private Idaho''. (1) ``Dance This Mess Around"; ``Deadbeat Club''; ``52 Girls''.

BULLPEN: (9) Nirvana - ``Smells Like Teen Spirit"; ``Cumberland Blues'' - the Grateful Dead. (8) ``Twistin the Night Away" - Sam Cooke; ``In Between Days'' - The Cure; ``Mannish Boy" - Muddy Waters; ``Shake, Rattle, & Roll" - Big Joe Turner; ``Proud Mary'' - Ike and Tina Turner. (7) ``I Wanna Be Sedated" - Ramones; ``Twist & Shout" - Beatles. (6) ``Magic Carpet Ride" - Steppenwolf; ``Crossroads'' - Eric Clapton; ``Play That Funky Music'' - Wild Cherry; ``I Feel Good" - James Brown; ``Radar Love'' - Golden Earring; Devo - ``Whip It"; ``Echo Beach'' - Martha and The Muffins. (5) ``Sing Sing Sing'' - Benny Goodman; ``Rocking the Casbah'' - The Clash; Squeeze - ``If I Didn't Love You"; ``Roadrunner'' - Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers. (4) Lou Reed - ``Sweet Jane''; ``Jambalaya" - Hank Williams; Public Enemy - ``Bring Tha Noize"; ``Brick House" - The Commodores; Green Day - ``Basket Case''; ``Lithium'' - Nirvana; Peter Frampton - ``Do you feel like we do". (3) ``Dancing With Myself'' - Billy Idol's Gen X; ``RESPECT'' - Aretha Franklin; ``Tweedle Dee'' by Lavern Baker; B Movie - ``Nowhere Girl"; ``Add It Up'' - Violent Femmes; ``Party Train'' - Gap Band; ``Locomotion" - Little Eva; Ini Kamoze - ``Here Comes the Hotstepper"; ``party at ground zero'' by fishbone; ``The Butterfly Collector" - The Jam; Bangles - ``Hazy Shade of Winter"; Del Shannon - ``Runaway''; Hot Chocolate -``You Sexy Thing"; Go-Go's - ``Our Lips are Sealed"; ``In the Mood" - Glenn Miller; ``Louie, Louie'' - The Kingsmen; ``You Will Be Moved'' - Mavis Staples. (2) ``Fire on the Mountain'' - the Grateful Dead; Violent Femmes - ``Blister in the Sun"; ``Want Ad Blues" - John Lee Hooker; ``Suffragette City'' - David Bowie; Susan Tedeschi - ``It Hurt So Bad''; ``Debaser'' - The Pixies; ``What I Like About You" - Romantics; ``Train In Vain'' - The Clash; ``Revolution" - the Beatles; Little Richard - ``Rock Island Line''; ``Magic Mountain" - the Animals; ``Pass the Dutchie" - Peter Tosh; ``What Time is Love'' - KLF; ``One Love" - Bob Marley; Doors - ``Roadhouse Blues"; Strunz and Farrah - ``Americas''; ``Ebeneezer Goode'' - The Shamen. (1) ``Walk This Way'' - Run-DMC; ``How Soon Is Now?'' - The Smiths; ``Last of the Famous International Playboys'' - Morrissey; ``Brass in Pocket'' - The Pretenders; ``Machine Gun'' - The Commodores; ``Roadrunner'' - the Animals; ``I'm Coming Out'' - Diana Ross; Clarence ``Gatemouth'' Brown - ``Up Jumped the Devil''; David Bowie - ``Fame''; ``Been Caught Stealing'' - Jane's Addiction; ``Hard to Handle'' - Black Crowes; ``Birth-day'' - Suzanne Vega; Led Zeppelin - ``Hey, Hey what can I do"; Three Dog Night - ``Shambala"; Concrete Blonde - ``Still in Hollywood"; ``The Pusher" - Steppenwolf; ``Give the Dog a Bone" - AC/DC; ``Chain of Fools" - Aretha Franklin; ``Ballroom Blitz'' - The Sweet; ``Hi Ho Silver Lining'' - Jeff Beck; ``And We Danced" - Hooters; ``Particle Man" - They Might Be Giants; Erasure - ``River Deep, Mountain High"; ``All Along the Watchtower" - Jimi Hendrix's KISS THE SKY version of Bob Dylan's song); ``I Wanna Be a Lifeguard'' - Blotto; ``Hollywood Handsome" - Tuscadero; ``Connection" - Elsatica; ``Happiness is a Warm Gun" - The Breeders; ``Why do you Drink?" - Hank Williams, Jr.; ``Freshly" - Dillinger; ``Fool's Gold'' - Stone Roses; ``Wannabe'' - Spice Girls; ``All Right Now'' - Free.

SPECIAL GEORGE CLINTON BULLPEN: (2) ``I Just Wanna Testify''; ``Flash Light''. (1) Prince - ``Bob & George"; ``Let's Take It to the Stage'', ``The Pinocchio Theory''.

SPECIAL MILLENNIUM BULLPEN: ``1999'' - Prince; ``Disco 2000'' - Pulp. These songs are officially INELIGIBLE FOR THE TAPE!!!

SPECIAL ROLLING STONES BULLPEN: (6) ``Paint It Black''. (3) ``Sympathy for the Devil''; ``Honky Tonk Woman'' (including ``I met a ginsoaked bar-room queen in Memphis"); ``Satisfaction". (2) ``Jumpin' Jack Flash"; ``Emotional Rescue''; ``Brown Sugar''. (1) ``Get Off of My Cloud''; ``Gimme Shelter''; ``Street Fighting Man''; ``Bitch''; ``Little T and A''.

SPECIAL TALKING HEADS BULLPEN: (9) ``Take me to the River". (4) the entire Speaking in Tongues record (special call for ``Road to Nowhere''). (2) ``Life During Wartime''; ``Psycho Killer''. (1) ``The Great Curve''.

SPECIAL ALPHABET SONG BULLPEN: (6) ``YMCA" - Village People. (1) ``MTA" - Kingston Trio.

SPECIAL DRUG MUSIC BULLPEN: (8) ``Red, Red Wine'' - UB40. (6) ``Don't Bogart that Joint'' - Fraternity of Man; ``The Old Dope Peddler'' - Tom Lehrer. (5) ``Cocaine'' - Eric Clapton's version; ``Casey Jones'' - the Grateful Dead. (4) ``White Rabbit'' - Jefferson Airplane; ``Love Is the Drug'' - Roxy Music. (3) The Toys - ``Smoke Two Joints''; ``Minnie the Moocher'' - Cab Calloway; ``Smoke, Smoke, Smoke (That Cigarette)'' - Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen; ``Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll'' - Ian Dury and the Blockheads; ``Bush Doctor'' - Peter Tosh. (2) ``Easy Skanking" - Bob Marley; ``The Needle and the Damage Done'' - Neil Young; Pink Floyd - ``Obscured by Clouds''; ``Hotel California'' - Eagles; ``I'm an Okie from Muskogee'' - Merle Haggard; Stranglers - ``Golden Brown''; entire Animals album - Pink Floyd; Hawkwind - ``LSD''; ``Panama Red'' - New Riders; Thin Lizzy - ``Whisky in the Jar''. (1) ``Purple Haze'' - Jimi Hendrix; ``Legalize It'' - Peter Tosh; ``Heroin'' - Lou Reed and Velvet Underground; ``The Drugs Don't Work" - The Verve; ``Old Red Eyes is Back" - Beautiful South; ``Hemp, for Victory'' - Ramon Renedge; ``Revolution'' - Spacemen 3; ``Halcyon'' - Orbital; ``Sinsemilla" - Black Uhuru; ``Hassan I Sahba''(Hashish) - Hawkwind; Sisters Of Mercy - ``Amphetamine Logic''; ``More Songs about Chocolate and Girls'' - The Undertones; ``Cars Hiss By My Window'' from LA Woman - The Doors; Levellers - ``Just the One''; New Model Army - ``Heroin''.

Al Tabor (Mon, 16 Aug 1999 18:18:58 -0700)

Assuming I understand the voting:

B-52's bullpen : Love Shack

Drug Music : Ian Dury - Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll; Commander Cody - Smoke, Smoke, Smoke; Hawkwind - LSD (I've never actually heard this but...(g)).

Bullpen : (2 each - by fiat from the Editor) Ramones - I Wanna be Sedated; J. Richman - Roadrunner; James Brown - I Feel Good; Sam Cooke - Twistin the Night Away; Aretha Franklin - Respect (not Chain of Fools).

Discussion Interruption: Our household has had a rule for the last 20 years that ``Respect'' must be on each dance tape so I had to do a right-in there. If I can claim the Ramones song should be using Drug votes, move it up there, bump Ian Dury, and give a vote Public Enemy - Bring Tha Noize UNLESS the Hawkwind song is pretty much undanceable in which case bump it instead of Dury. ((I made some executive decisions here to allow the write in and to add a point from me, as it should have been on the list in the first place. You couldn't give ANYTHING more than 2 votes in this last round, so I bumped up your choices on that score. I'll still take your write in for Mavis Staples, but it won't make the final list, since I only give it the maximum of three with one vote from me.))

That leaves me 5 votes in Bullpen. Here I'd like to write in Mavis Staples, ``You Will Be Moved'' from her CD The Voice

...which seems to be out of print. I decided I'd better purchase a copy of this and send it to you as a lobbying effort but I couldn't find one either new or used. There are fully 4 songs on this that I consider worthy of appearing on an all-time dance comp: ``You Will Be Moved,'' ``The Undertaker,'' ``Kain't Turn Back,'' and ``A Man Called Jesus.'' A 5th, ``Melody Cool,'' also rates highly and can also be found on Prince's hmmmm?...something or other. If I can figure out this CD-R gizmo I could make a demo copy, I guess. Tempting since it's unavailable. Maybe I could mail Mavis a five-er.

Thanks for tolerating my low profile. I shall rise again < g > !

Al, al.t of

Mark Larzelere (Sun, 26 Sep 1999 17:05:13 EDT)

I guess I'd better get around to it if I'm going to vote in your Party Tape thing. OK, I have 5 votes left after spending 5 votes for ``Echo Beach''. I'll give 2 votes to ``If I Didn't Love You'' (Squeeze), 2 votes to ``Rock the Casbah'' (Clash), and 1 vote to ``I Wanna Be Sedated'' (Ramoes). I'll vote for ``Rock Lobster'' for my B52 vote. For my drug song votes, I'll give one vote each to ``White Rabbit'' (Jefferson Airplane), ``Cocaine'' (Clapton) and ``Love is the Drug'' (Roxy Music).

Mark, Mlarz of

Jody McCullough (Mon, 20 Sep 1999 22:50:41 -0700)


Saw a cool concert Sat. night. Bonnie Raitt, Jackson Browne, Bruce Hornsby, David Lindley, Shawn Colvin, plus members from their various bands. About 10 people total playing on some of the songs. The songs that had a BUNCH of people playing sounded a little sloppy, but hey, whaddya want?

I saw the Allman Brothers with Susan Tedeschi too at the same place (Concord Pavilion). Susan Tedeschi was okay, not great. I really felt she held back. Later on when she came on with the Allman Brothers for one song that feeling was confirmed as she cut loose on that one song. Sigh. Oh well, I think it would be good to see her as the lead act in a small club. But on this night, she showed why she was the opening act and the Allman Brothers showed why they were the lead act.

The Allman Brothers put on a terrific show. There were some times when their guitarist for this tour, DEREK Trucks (NEPHEW of Butch, the DRUMMER), was just mesmerizing. Gregg Allman plays a real Hammond B-3, with real rotating speakers. After all this time, it's still hard to beat that sound. And Dickey Betts is a damn fine guitarist in his own right. The visuals were wonderfully low-tech; film rear-projected on a huge screen in the back with a mirror to split it. Sometimes more film in the middle. Some computer graphics but it appeared even that was filmed and mixed in with all the other film. And it really worked.

Saw my favorite band recently too. The visuals for that were a nice combination of low and high tech. Various neon signs scattered all around and over the stage, with a computer system to coordinate everything. The band did an outstanding job although they have recently lost their drummer, who does not appear on their latest album. They played an excellent mix of old and new songs, even going back to their very first EP (which never appeared on CD; I have it on vinyl, and tape).

I disagree with you about large venues, assuming you include ampitheaters. I LIKE ampitheaters a lot. The weather is moderate here and you can enjoy it, and the sound is very clean without all the echos of an indoor show. And all the smoke floats up and away, which is nice. Even stadiums can be fun if the event is organized well. But if not, they can be a disaster. And if a band is doing well, you just may not be able to see them at a small venue. BTW, the name of my favorite band... R.E.M. ((I was wondering about that.... confused me at first....))

Votes: Basket Case (1), Lithium (1) [Surprise, Rick and I actually agree on something!], Cumberland Blues (3), Shake, Rattle & Roll (1), and In Between Days (4). I gave this last one the most because I agree there ``ought" to be a Cure song there. If it were up to me, it would probably be something like ``A Forest" but that's probably a little too esoteric ;-) ((Well, not for me, but you broke the ``last vote'' rule against having more than 2 votes per song, so I gave these songs 2 points apiece. ``In Between Days'' is safely on the tape anyway, and you pulled some of these other songs up more that way.))

B-52s vote: Rock Lobster.

I hope I got that right. If I missed out on a bullpen vote let me know.

-Jody- jodym of

Rip Gooch (Mon, 27 Sep 1999 20:48:13)


Re Rick Desper's comment about my looking bad, note the date of my original message on the subject of the Blue Jays. It was sent on the very day that the team snapped its monumental winning streak. The plummet was startling, but, on reflection, not totally unexpected. I hereby resolve not to comment on a subject about which I know so little! ((Hey, we all do it!!!))

Note, however, that I refrained from commenting on the season-long progress of ``my" team in the English (and Welsh) cricket competition. Surrey won the county championship by a margin which almost defies belief. A team of promise for some years, the unique(?) position in which domestic cricketers find themselves during the season has mitigated against a strong Surrey performance. Unlike other sports where national and international commitments do not interfere with the day-to-day domestic play, county teams suffer by the unavailability of selected players during Test matches which are played concurrently with the county championship. Thus, with Surrey providing the lion's share of players for the past four years, an unfair burden was placed on the remainder of the team for key matches. This season, the combined effects of a Test schedule which did not clash as much as usual and stunning performances from second-string players led to a record which reduced the other counties to mere also-rans. ((Hey, cool, the same problem occurs in soccer/football to you/ both over here and over there. It is a VERY strange concept to Americans, I will tell you straight out....))

Should you require clarification anywhere, please do not hesitate to contact me prior to publication. A question-and-answer session might be entertaining for your readership.

Sorry I didn't go away.

This Has Always Been, Rip Gooch, ripgch of

((You act like I am bothered by this, which I most assuredly am not!!!))

Chris Trent (October 1, 1999)

Jim- Two things, first is a response to Rick Desper's comments about the fan apathy in Oakland and the second is about my interest in publishing my own 'zine. Rick Desper commented on the pitiful fan appearance during the A's playoff race against the Red Sox. First of all, those of us here in Northen California are confused too but I think it's not nearly as big a shock to us. Oakland is not really a huge city (but it does have plenty of peopie living outside its limits) and it's also not the richest city around. (Again, the richies live don't live in the city.) However, that's not really a good excuse. Even when the A's were on the top of MLB at the end of the 80's, fans were difficult to coax into the Coliseum and as soon as their might began to slip the fans ditched them. Why?

1) Why go to Oakland when you can go to San Francisco? The Oakland/Alameda Sports Complex (which is also where the NBA's Warriors play) is in an infamously dangerous part of town. They've tried to alleviate this to some extent but they'll never get past the fact that they're in Oakland and just a $3.00 toll away is San Francisco. Since many Bay Area sports spectators aren't from the Bay Area they'd rather make a day of it in the City than a possible mugging of it at the Coliseum.

2) Al Davis. He is the owner of the Raiders. He brought the Silver and Black back to Oakland only when the City Council agreed to bend to his every whim. (He teased Sacramento to gain leverage against Oakland. ) His biggest whim was putting up bleachers and boxes behind the outfield, thus, as my friend explained-I'm not the biggest baseball fan-cutting off the Coliseum's wind and turning it from a pitcher friendly park to a very hitter friendly park, frustrating and alienating a lot of fans. ((Usually, these things work in reverse. Fenway Park did something similar over and behind home plate which turned Fenway into a much LESS hitter friendly park. This annoys fans, but I don't see where fans these days ``like'' pitching. The A's have a great hitting team, which is popular these days. Sounds like sour grapes to me.))

It should be noted that the Raiders haven't done so well either until this year when they're playoff prospects. (I believe the last two Raiders games not blacked out were both against the 9ers.) Are Oakland fans fickle? Possibly. It is pretty much agreed that the Bay Area is over-saturated with sports almost as badly as L.A. because there's just too many other things to do with your time and money than go to a game. Only the teams that provide the highest quality get the attention. The A's advertising campaign at the start of this season revolved around all the great teams you could see play at the Coliseum. Will the A's pick it up next season? Not likely. They'll have to terrorize the league and clinch the pennant in September and then MAYBE they'll get 8,000 to show up.

For you -Bob, as I said, I'm interested in starting my own 'zine. What I'd like to know is how to handle international subscriptions if I get them. Am I correct that you're in charge of the monetary exchange? If I get the international interest, what do I need with you to take care of changing the money? ((Nothing, you just have Brit subbers send their money to John Harrington and then I send the money to you. It really is very painless. Anyone who wants help in understanding this, PLEASE ask!)) Besides the monetary exchange I'm also just putting out feelers. Is there a market for a new 'zine? ((My personal opinion is ``yes'', but some of you want to encourage Chris??)) I'm pretty certain that it will be a small 'zine with at least some decoration ((Unlike MY quite ugly szine....)) and editorial stuff. Sometimes I think warehouses are a bit dull. If you think there's any room for another 'zine would you please advertise for my first game. Just have them send any inquiries to my addresses but I've changed my e-mail address to chrisimaus98 of - and I'll see who bites.

Many, many thanks! Chris, 8553 Banff Vista Drive, Elk Grove, CA 95624-1746

John Harrington (Wed, 13 Oct 1999 02:14:16)

Incidentally I am (almost) entirely confident that Logie-Baird was the first to invent television, although as with the telephone (invented by another Scotsman) there were probably other inventors on the verge of perfecting the device when Logie-Baird patented his. ((I'm sure you are right, but I grew up near General Electric's research headquarters where they always claimed a central role in TV's development...))

On the subject of inventions and inventors not getting the credit they deserve, I was reading on the Internet the other day (the Motley Fool's UK site, as it happens) about Thomas Crapper, and how he gets little credit in the USA for his invention of the ``water closet" - i.e. the flushing toilet. ((This is simply and absolutely NOT true. Johnny Carson, among others, LOVED to tell the story of Thomas Crapper, though he was from Oklahoma.... I've known this fact since I was a little, little kid, even before I started to watch Johnny Carson on TV.))

Technically speaking he did not invent the first flushing toilet, that was a bloke called Sir John Harrington (no relation!) but Crapper perfected it and the loo remains pretty much unchanged in design to this day. I can't remember exactly what was special about Crapper's version of what we in Britain refer to as ``the bog" (or the loo, the karzi) but I think it involved a valve of some sort - prior to Crapper I think toilets had permanently flushing water. ((You are supposed to be able to illustrate the effect of his valve by pouring a bucket of water into a toilet and seeing what happens. It is supposed to surprise you.... but I have no idea what that ``surprise'' is. I'm sure someone will enlighten both of us.))

Apparently many people in the USA believe Thomas Crapper to be an urban myth, presumably on the basis that the name is just a bit too convenient, just as one would be suspicious if the aspirin were formulated by Arnold Headache. ((If so, it probably was because it was such a favorite joke between Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon on the Tonight Show. People probably thought that because that was where they heard it, Carson was pulling their leg.)) I have no idea whether the term ``crap" was in existence before Thomas Crapper achieved his fame or whether his name led to the coining of the term, but there is documentary evidence (from an old London phone book) that a plumbing & sanitation company named Thos. Crapper did exist in the latter half of the last century.

Fascinating stuff, eh? If you really want to open a can of worms you could debate who invented the computer? I think Britain and the USA both have very valid claims, depending on what counts as a computer.

Regards - John Harrington, johnh of

((And right now there are vehement debates going on concerning who invented the Internet.... insane.))


``So I called up George and he called up Jim, I said let's make a deal.

He said he'd talk to him. Gonna start a church where you can save yourself,

You can make some noise, When you've got no choice...

You told me useful things, what people think of me, I guess I should thank you.

It's true, then I agree... I'm all alone, I've got no choice,

I'm all alone, I've got no choice."

From ``Got No Choice" by the incomparable Mark Cutler, from the CD Mark Cutler and Useful Things.

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904.

Standby lists:

Mike Barno, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Paul Rauterberg, Stan Johnson, Randy Ellis, Heath Gardner, Phil Reynolds, Paul Kenny, Sean O'Donnell Dan Gorham, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy.

Phil Reynolds, Sean O'Donnell, and Jim Sayers stand by for the Colonial Diplomacy game.

Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Phil Reynolds, Jim Sayers, and Kurt Ozog stand by for the Modern Diplomacy game.

Sean O'Donnell and David Partridge stand by for Colonia. I still need standbys for the Colonia game!

Let me know if you want on or off these lists, especially OFF. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks.


The only Diplomacy oriented opening left is an opening for a game of Star Trek Diplomacy! These will be the last Diplomacy game openings until more games end. See Stephen Agar's rules on his web page at:

There are two changes I am looking at when I start the game. First, I really want to name all the star systems after Star Trek locations. I have begun to do this already, but if someone wants to contribute significantly, or even volunteer to do it all, I will offer a free game start in the game. Second, after naming all of the systems, I think I want to nix the ``revolving rings'' rule. I am open to suggestions on the latter, though I want to print maps and ***I*** don't know how to make the rings rotate easily. The game start is open now, and since I want to STRONGLY encourage press, you can sign up and ``claim'' a race. Stephen Agar claims the Borg and Jody McCullough claims the Romulans. Buddy Tretick and Roland Sasseville, Jr., also are set to play. I'm expanding my net and hope to fill this soon. This game also has the $20 game fee ($5 of that refundable for NMR insurance).

I suppose I have to admit that no one is requesting Pontevedria, the North American game opening flyer, from Conrad von Metzke any more. You can contact Conrad by E-Mail at metzke of if you want to ask him about it. I'd be pleased to help anyone find other game openings on a personal basis too. The longer run solution might come out of the efforts of the Brits, on which we might be able to piggyback. If you are interested, contact Stephen Agar at stephen of who still heads up The Diplomatic Pouch postal section or or join the Brit hobby mailing list at:

FANTASTIC VOYAGE: 1999?, Regular Diplomacy


Winter 1900 - Initial Setup

AUSTRIA (Gorham): has f TRI, a VIE, a BUD.

ENGLAND (Biehl): has f LON, f EDI, a LVP.

FRANCE (O'Donnell): has f BRE, a PAR, a MAR.

GERMANY (Shreve): has f KIE, a MUN, a BER.

ITALY (Tallman): has f NAP, a ROM, a VEN.

RUSSIA (Tretick): has f STP(SC), f SEV, a MOS, a WAR.

TURKEY (Ellis): has f ANK, a SMY, a CON.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Dan Gorham, PO Box 279, Belmopan, BELIZE, CENTRAL AMERICA ($5)

Frdan of BTL.NET

ENGLAND: John Biehl, 8809 Delwood Drive, Delta, BRITISH COLUMBIA, V4C 4A1 CANADA, (604) 589-9124 ($5)

biehldunai of

FRANCE: Sean O'Donnell, 126 S. Park, Oberlin, OH 44074, (440) 774-2928 (E-Mail)

sean_o_donnell of, seanside of

GERMANY: Dwayne Shreve, 739 Union Church Road, Elkton, MD 21921 ($5)

dwayneshreve of

ITALY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($5)

terryt of

RUSSIA: Buddy Tretick, 9607 Conaty Circle, Spotsylvania, VA 22553, (540) 582-2356 (E-Mail)

BATretick2 of

TURKEY: Randy Ellis, 1005 Kentucky #2N, Lawrence, KS 66044, (785) 838-9687 ($10)

Randy1964 of

Game Notes:

1) The Spring deadline has been pushed back to the 20th! Despite the comments from some on how slow this is, I don't have all that many advance orders. Once we get going, the game will move.... well, Fall won't be due until after Christmas, but it will move a little faster after that.

2) I have some press for this deadline, see below.

3) Some asked about the NMR insurance. Your NMR insurance balance is in parentheses up above. If you fail to get moves in by the deadline, I try to contact you and charge you a dollar off the balance. When the balance gets to zero (unless you ante up more money) I don't contact you and you will NMR if you don't get moves in. If you don't have an NMR balance, I still will E-Mail you if you don't have orders in as long as I have an E-Mail address for you.

4) I have named the game after a Mekons song that seemed particularly appropriate, don't you think??


(GERMANY - WORLD): I do have e-mail, honest! I came up with the clever address of dwayneshreve of and I use it.

(ITALY to ALL): Bernie told me to take Scandinavia while he wraps up the eastern problem.

(ENGLAND to GM): Who or what is/are the Mekons? (Pardon my ignorance of this musical group.) ((None taken. They are not the most well known group around, though they have been playing together for over 20 years. They started in England in the wake of the Sex Pistols along with other essential groups of the late 1970's such as the Gang of Four. The lineup has migrated around quite a bit over the years and I have been a huge fan since about 1981. I call them the greatest rock band and the world and I do mean it seriously. What I mean by it is that they take on the classic attitude and politics of rock music, which essentially is lost everywhere else. They don't care if they ever ``make it'' in the classic sense and they've never really made any money. They also have made practically every kind of music you can imagine over those 20 years, so relatively few people except fanatics like me like virtually everything they have done.))

(ITALY to FRANCE): Have you figured out who everyone is yet???

(LONDON, FEB. 1, 1901): In this winter of discontent and amid rumors of war, Prime Minister John Beale rose in Parliament to declare, ``The Government of Great Britain declares its intent to see the balance of power maintained in Europe. Let no nation violate the borders of any sovereign power." The leader of his majesty's loyal opposition immediately rose to reply, ``I call for the Prime Minister's resignation. How can he stand before Parliament to say England will stand aside from the fray? We demand decisive action."

(ITALY to BOOB): You do always manage to follow in my footsteps.

(BOOB to ITALY): And you in mine....

(ITALY to MOM'S LITTLE BROTHER (A TRULY OLD AND OBSCURE REFERENCE): Hey, this doesn't mean I'm not going to DO it!

(SIX GOOD SOLDIERS to THE WORLD (people not actually in this game and Buddy)): Ve vas only following orders. (Shouted by six players who heel click smartly at the end of the sentence.)

(A LITTLE MONASTERY): A sign over the door announces, rather simply, ``Home Of The Brethren Who Receive Divine Guidance After A Vow of Silence To The Most Correct, Humble, Tactically Correct, Semantically Inspirational Saint Bernard (not the breed of dog) of Baskerville (also having nothing to do with dogs or hounds)."

Around the table, at their evening meal, six hooded monks sit at their supper. Several of the brothers are quite gray, two are younger, one a mere stripling.

None looks at another, for there is no communication necessary. All guidance, all inspiration, all news, all comic strips, actually all communication any soul could desire are theirs at need. They are the dedicated ears of the Bernardists.

But some struggle seems to be occurring within one of the members of the order. He seems to struggle with muscles that have been forgotten. He starts to rise and finally manages to mutter, in a weak croak, ``I am the favored one! I have been given my orders through the Fall of 1901!!!"

A shocked look goes around the group and another begins to struggle to make sound and finally succeeds, ``Heresy! I am favored above you, my orders are plain before me through the Spring of 1902! St. Bernard (if this had any thing at all to do with dogs there would probably be tacos somewhere near) favors ME!"

All at once they are all standing and trying to cry out after years of silence, each claiming to be the favored one, the one to receive the most extensive set of orders, membership in the sacred three-way, until finally one voice quiets all the others with the pronouncement, ``He has sworn a game long alliance once I give him all my dots!"

At once the others sit down, mutely, with tears in their eyes. Truly the final speaker is the chosen one, nearest to the right hand of the Uncle of All Saints.

(Sometimes I Feel Like) FLETCHER CHRISTIAN: 1999Cgh013, Colonia VIIb Diplomacy


Fall 1751 - Correction

OTTOMAN (Johnson): f BULGARIA(SC)-romania (imp).

Winter 1751

AUSTRIA (Prosnitz): bld a budapest, a vienna, f trieste, a surinam, f tahiti;



CHINA (Acheson): bld a wuhan, f amoy, a xian; has a WUHAN, f AMOY, a XIAN,


ENGLAND (Power): bld f london, f edinburgh, f malaya, a ecuador, a nigeria;



FRANCE (Gamble): bld f bordeaux, f toulon, a montreal, f dakar; has f BORDEAUX, f TOULON,


NETHERLANDS (Schuetz): bld f florida, a angola, a hague, f melbourne;



OTTOMAN (Johnson): bld a ismir, a jerusalem, f baghdad, f istanbul, f hawaii;



PORTUGAL (Stimmel): bld a goa, f brazil, f lagos, a alaska; has a GOA,



RUSSIA (Rauterberg): bld f cape colony, f vladivostok, f st.pete(sc), a moscow, a omsk,



SPAIN (Partridge in for Gardner): bld f manila, a somalia, a mexico, a valencia; has f MANILA, a SOMALIA,


Supply Center Chart - Corrected

AUSTRIA (Prosnitz): BUD,VIE,SUR,TRI,TAH,ven,bav, (has 5, bld 5)
CHINA (Acheson): PEK,WUH,XIA,AMO,tib,nep, (has 4, bld 3)
ENGLAND (Power): ECU,NIG,MAL,EDI,LON,kam,peru, (has 5, bld 5)
FRANCE (Gamble): PAR,DAK,TOU,QUE,BOR,sav, (has 5, bld 4)
NETHERLANDS (Schuetz): ANT,FLO,ANG,HAG,MEL,lou, (has 5, bld 4)
OTTOMAN (Johnson): ISM,JER,BAG,IST,HAW,persia, (has 5, bld 5)
PORTUGAL (Stimmel): LAG,ALA,GOA,BRA,LIS,man, (has 5, bld 4)
RUSSIA (Rauterberg): MOS,KIE,OMS,CAP,STP,VLA,cri, (has 6, bld 6)
SPAIN (Partridge): MAD,MEX,SOM,VAL,MAN,cal, (has 5, bld 4)
Neutral: many (Total=???)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Gene Prosnitz, 2600 Netherland Ave., Apt. 1116, Riverdale, NY 10463, (718) 601-8131 ($5)

CHINA: Bob Acheson, 304-556 Laurier Ave., Ottawa, ONTARIO K1R 7X2, CANADA ($5)

racheson of

ENGLAND: John Power, 5043 Lymbar Dr., Houston, TX 77096, (713) 283-8962 ($5)

jrpower of

FRANCE: Terry Gamble, 201 Kenney Ave., Barksdale AFB, LA 71110, (318) 752-1787 ($5)

velobus of

NETHERLANDS: Karl Schuetz, 20 Toledo Lane, Willingboro, NJ 08046, (609) 871-9058

cschuetz of

OTTOMAN: Stan Johnson, 2401 W. Southern Ave. #56, Tempe, AZ 85282, (602) 454-9356 ($5)

PORTUGAL: Robert Stimmel, Apt. #57, Casa de Sherry Apts., 2462 North Sycamore Blvd.,

Tucson, AZ 85712-2541, (520) 326-8369 ($5)

RUSSIA: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

SPAIN: Dave Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033

rebhuhn of

Game Notes:

1) Just as a point of information, Bob Acheson had been away from home in Virginia on business recently, but he is returning home now.

2) Stan Johnson had moved. Note his new address above. Also I have an E-Mail address for Karl Schuetz.

3) Most importantly, I have dropped Heath Gardner from the game, he essentially missed two deadlines as I have been calling and E-Mailing repeatedly over the last three weeks. Replacing him is an experienced Colonia player, David Partridge, who already is playing with many of you in the other game being GMed by Michael Lowrey.


(NOUVEAU SPAIN - BOOB): What is this? You send me a last minute note looking for orders, so I pull out the szine and figure I'll read the press to get a feel for the game. There is NO press for the first fall. Not even a snide comment from the GM! Who's running this game anyway?

(RUSSIA to CHINA): No no no no no! You can't just walk into a space bordering mine without a group of officious looking men sitting around a table and discussing it (making threats, whatever) first. That's the diplomatic way. ((Some ***could*** say the reverse!))

Spain - all: No chance to write, I got this at the last minute. All previous bets are off, see your local bookie for a refund. The embassies are open (and serving donuts!), drop in and spin us a yarn.

SECRETS: 1999D, Regular Diplomacy



Winter 1901 Build Correction

GERMANY (Johnson): bld a mun, f kie.

Spring 1902

AUSTRIA (Zarr): a tri-VIE, a BUD S a tri-vie, f GRE h,

a rum S TURKISH a sev-ukr (d r:gal,ukr,ser,otb), a ser-TRI.

ENGLAND (Sayers): f LON-nth, a nwy-STP, f NTH-nwy, f NWG S f nth-nwy.

FRANCE (Sasseville): a par-BUR, f mar-GOL, f por-MID,

a PIC S a par-bur, a spa-MAR.

GERMANY (Johnson): a MUN-bur, f kie-HOL, f DEN-nth, a RUH S a hol-bel,

a hol-BEL.

ITALY (Schultz): f nap-ION, a ven-TYO, f TUN S f nap-ion, a apu-VEN,

a vie-bud (d r:boh,gal,otb).

RUSSIA (Trent): a MOS S a ukr-sev, f SWE-nwy, a FIN S f swe-nwy, a ukr-SEV.

TURKEY (Munson): f smy-AEG, a con-SMY, f BLA S a sev-bul (imp),

a sev-RUM, a BUL S a sev-rum.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821 ($5)

hdzarr of

ENGLAND: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA ($10)

100233.513 of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

GERMANY: Stan Johnson, 2401 W. Southern Ave. #56, Tempe, AZ 85282, (602) 454-9356

ITALY: John Schultz, #19390, W-M11L, Indiana Department of Correction,

Plainfield Correctional Facility, 727 Moon Road, Plainfield, IN 46168-9400

RUSSIA: Chris Trent, 8553 Banff Vista Dr., Elk Grove, CA 95624-1746, (916) 685-7772 ($5)

chrisimaus98 of

TURKEY: Scott Munson, PO Box 1042, Gardiner, MT 59030, (406) 848-2102 ($5)

samunson71 of

Game Notes:

1) Stan Johnson slipped in with orders just in time, which I decided to write in on the szines of the affected players. Note his address change. Stan does take over as Germany as a result.

2) Notice that Chris Trent has changed his E-Mail address and is inquiring for interest in playing a new Diplomacy game in a new szine he is thinking of starting. See the letter column above for more details.


(F-G): I'm forming a line, no war is declared.

(JOHNNY MUSTAFA to THE GREAT RUSSIAN CZAR): ``The Sultan has instructed me to address you. He apologizes for `inappropriate acquisitions of the past,' and wishes to make amends with the great Czar. Your port is to be returned to you. May the light of the Sultan warm the hearts of his neighbors."

(MOS-VIE): If Russia's so cold and desolate how come everyone seems to want a chunk of it?

(DR. VINNIE GOOMBA-T): With all those woman, The Sultan needs some anti VD cream fresh from Rome. I will be glad to come deliver it.

(ITA-AUS): Hey! I took my best shot against a silent neighbor and got the most dots for my money. Besides, I've fought 4 and 5 front wars and surprised a few in my day.

(TRAVEL BROCHURE): In Rome you can see many museum masterpieces and maybe meet the Pope... hmm does the Pope still have a standing army?

(ITA-FRA): I don't want no trouble, but that fleet looks like I might get some regardless. Well, here goes again. Let's get it on.

(GERMANY): I desire peace with England and/or France; but I must take precautions till I see who my friends are.

(F-G): Welcome, hope agreements stand.

(MOS-ANK): Alright, alright... so you've pillaged our vacation homes and raped our mistresses. At least you have decent taste...

(TURKISH SEA CAPT. to RUSSIAN PEOPLE): ``Errrr.... umm......WELL! Sorry about that! We in the Navy will miss the childish cries from the boiler rooms of our ships!"

(TRENT-EVERYBODY): I've got a new email address at chrisimaus98 of It will be harder for me to accidentally delete your stuff there. Thanks!

SADDAM HUSSEIN: 1999Arn42, Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy - Black Hole Variant



Fall 1903

AUSTRIA (Gardner): a BOH h, a GAL h, and nuked TYO, WAR(2), MOS, STP, SEV;

owns vie,bud,tri.

ENGLAND (Barno): f NWG C a cly-nwy, f nth-BEL, a cly-NWY, and nuked

PIC, SMY, PIE(2), HEL, GM(3); owns edi,lvp,bel,nwy.

FRANCE (S. Kenny): has none, and nuked TUS, LON, PIE(2), GOL, MID; owns none.

GERMANY (McCullough): f DEN S a kie-hol, a bur-TUN, a kie-HOL, and nuked TYH, SPA(2),

POR(2), SER, *GM*(3); owns mun,kie,ber,den,tun,hol.

ITALY (Weiss): has none, and nuked 666 SMITH ST., PROVIDENCE RI, USA, EARTH, MILKY WAY


RUSSIA (Reichert): f gob-SWE, a UKR S a sil-rum, a sil-RUM, f BLA S a sil-rum,

and nuked APU, NAP, ROM, VEN; owns rum,swe.

TURKEY (Schultz): a con-BUL, and nuked ION, SPA(2), POR(2), MAR, BRE;

owns con,bul.

Addresses of the Participants

Sandy Kenny, 23 East Coulter Avenue, Collingswood, NJ 08108-1208

Jody McCullough, 1071 Brown Avenue, Lafayette, CA 94549-3153

jodym of

Richard Weiss, 2777 Northtowne Lane, Apt V 1105, Reno, NV 89512

rcw of (preferred) or rcw23 of

Sara Reichert, 20805 Margaret, Carson, CA 90745-1224

John Schultz, #19390, W-M11L, Indiana Department of Correction,

Plainfield Correctional Facility, 727 Moon Road, Plainfield, IN 46168-9400

Heath Gardner, 3017 Mayview Road, Raleigh, NC 27607, (919) 834-4832

hgardner of

Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883

mpbarno of

Current Standings

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 TOTAL

SANDY KENNY  4  3  0  7
RICHARD WEISS  4  1  0  5
SARA REICHERT  1  2  2  5
JOHN SCHULTZ  0  6  2  8
HEATH GARDNER  5  0  3  8
MIKE BARNO  0  5  4  9
Black Holed 15 15 16 46
Neutral  2  1  1  4

Total 34 34 34 102

Times GM Nuked  1  1  3  5
Greenland  1  0  0  1
Iceland  1  0  0  1
Kurt Ozog  0  1  0  1
Beale St., SF  0  1  0  1
Ind. Prison Off.  0  0  1  1

Game Notes:

1) Note Richard Weiss' new postal address!

2) Though Heath NMRed, this game does not allow for replacements. Heath will continue to play with his nukes unfired and his units unmoved. He can, of course, win in absentia, but you guys wouldn't let that happen, would you? ;-) I, of course, really hope Heath returns!!!

3) Everyone looked like they ``agreed'' on moves this time. No one went for anyone else's home centers, and only Greece was left neutral. The game remains REALLY close, with Jody and Mike leapfrogging into the lead, but everyone is still in the game.


(SARA-GM): As far as I can tell from spending one coffee break on the problem, the most black holes that can be traversed by one unit is 17, such as Austria's Army Bohemia- Tyrolia-Venice-Apulia-Ionian Sea-Naples-Tyrrhenian Sea- Rome-Tuscany-Piedmont-Marseilles-Gulf of Lyon-Spain- Portugal-Mid Atlantic Ocean-Brest-Paris-Picardy to wind up in Belgium.

(DR. LAURA - MISANTHROPIC MIKEY): Few would intimate that a true MD would be ``bodacious," much less use the phrase while describing one. Much as the thinking through the concept that every answer you give is a lie, including whether or not you lie, blows the minds of the galaxies' collective computers and created the post-conscious epoch, so does the actual usage of ``bodacious" to describe the little charleton behind the Great Leader of Italy's curtain. A brief analysis of the rest of the epistle, points to an m.o. well known to listeners of this show - a quoter of lyrics, a barnomobile expert and a diatriber without a tribe. Once again I must remind you to take accountability for your actions - otherwise you will be grounded without use of electronics outside of your bedroom for 67 days. and your usual collection of magazines with the stuck together pages from your masturbation will be tossed.

(MIKE to RICHARD): Everybody has different tastes. I prefer women who are themselves: I'm not grabbed by a bleach job on the hair, a paint job on the face, or silicone cantaloupes on the chest. If a woman is kind, cares about me, and is in the mood to share pleasure, then whatever size and shape she is will be ``perfect". Even in a strip bar, I find attitude a more significant turn-on factor than breast size, and unmodified women more attractive than augmented ones. The only reasons I have heard for breast add-ins (from women firsthand) are for ``normalness" after cancer surgery, and to be in higher demand as a showgirl. Usually the latter reason is not ``to please men" but ``to have more power over men" or ``to make more money".

(JIM-BOB to MIKE AND RICHARD): Maybe we need Dr. Laura to help us sort this out....

(DR. LAURA - JIM-BOB): Given your long history of self-abuse, yes, I will use the correct diagnostic term, ``Saddam-Masochism" why would any of the participants expect you to change behavior for this game? They wouldn't. They are fools to believe otherwise. I wish I had a dollar for every fool that calls this show.

(JIM-BOOB to DR. LAURA): Hello??? Why are they giving you a buck???

(DR. LAURA - GERMANY): You are the leader. Raise your head proudly and await the next bomb drop. To expect other than less from the males in this group is to be in fantasy-land. They bombed the last pregnant leader, do not provide child-support, you are not married to them, and duh, like why would you expect them to not bomb on you.

(MIKE'S SECRET OF LIFE IS): Don't mix too much uranium in with the nitric acid.

(DR. LAURA - ITALY): I understand that you have a moral dilemma. You have explained it well. You can either write press you enjoy and nuke those who squirm the loudest, or you can try to win. Let me ask you again, ``How do you define winning?"

(ENGLAND to FLUBMASTER): Note that Norwegian Sea, UNLIKE North Sea, borders Clyde!

(SARA-JOHN): See, I let you have Bulgaria as thanks for your helping me out in Spring 1903. Much appreciated. And thank you for your cute letter of 21 September.

(JOHN-SARA): You're welcome, thank you very much!

(MIKE to CHAOS PRODUCERS): Aw, I don't have access across any big black-hole zones. Guess I could jump Skagerrak to take Kiel but it's not better than this non-aggressive move to Belgium. Conventional moves are boring but they're what I've got.

(RUSSIA to AUSTRIA): On questions of war and peace there is a societal imperative for caution, but it must be understood that ambivalence is not synonymous with statesmanship and that anxietyship is no substitute for leadership.

(DR. LAURA - DR Z (RUSSIA)): I will see you in the winter palace soon. However, unless we are married first, do not expect to have any physical contact with me.

(SARA-HEATH): Do I really have to spank you again?

(JOHN-RICHARD): The main IDOC offices are less than 30 miles away but the radiation sickness is worth having watched the mushroom ascending and pretty colours descending.

(DR. LAURA - TURKEY): You ambivalence as to which opponent to bomb makes you sick and has kept you repressed. Face the fact that you are responsible for your own twisting and turning, and therefore for your own sickness and nausea. Unite your underlying principles and values, pray, and then follow the path which enables you to give. Do not think of the path which will get you the most, but rather the path that will allow you to give the most to others.

(JOHN-JODY): Well, I'm glad it wasn't you, as well. But, it really doesn't matter who, only that Jim passed the word and maybe one or two heard.

(DR. LAURA - PARISIANS): You are to insignificant to allow unto the radio show tonight. Please call back another time.

COME AND HAVE A GO (If You Think You're Hard Enough): 1998V, Diplomacy



Fall 1903

AUSTRIA (Pollard): a vie-GAL, a gal-UKR, a BUD S a rum, a boh-SIL,

a SER-bul, f bul(sc)-AEG, a lvn-WAR, a RUM S a ser-bul.

ENGLAND (Tallman): f NTH S f nwy, f SWE S f nwy, f NWY S f swe.

FRANCE (Morris): f ENG S a bur-bel, a bur-BEL, f por-MID,

a spa-MAR, a PIC S a bur-bel.

GERMANY (Sayers): f DEN-swe, a BER S a mun, f HOL S FRENCH f eng-nth (nso),

a MUN h, a RUH-kie.

ITALY (Munson): f ion-GRE, f gol-WES, f iri-LVP, a ven-PIE, a TYO h.

RUSSIA (Reynolds): f nwg-EDI, f BAL-kie, a MOS S a stp, a STP S a mos.

TURKEY (Barno): a con-BUL, a smy-CON, f BLA S a con-bul, a SEV-rum.

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Pollard): vie,bud,tri,rum,ser,war (has 8, rem 2)
ENGLAND (Tallman): lon,swe,nwy (has 3, even)
FRANCE (Morris): bre,par,mar,spa,por,bel (has 5, bld 1)
GERMANY (Sayers): ber,kie,mun,den,hol (has 5, even)
ITALY (Munson): rom,ven,nap,tun,lvp,gre (has 5, bld 1)
RUSSIA (Reynolds): mos,stp,edi (has 4, rem 1)
TURKEY (Barno): ank,smy,con,sev,bul (has 4, bld 1)
Neutral: none (Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Kent Pollard, 1541 W. San Jose, Fresno, CA 93711 ($4)

ENGLAND: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($4)

terryt of

FRANCE: Scott Morris, 12110 Shelbyville Rd., Louisville, KY 40243, (502) 893-8260 ($5)

Scottm221 of

GERMANY: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA ($10)

100233.513 of

ITALY: Scott Munson, PO Box 1042, Gardiner, MT 59030, (406) 848-2102 ($5)

samunson71 of

RUSSIA: Phil Reynolds, 2896 Oak Street, Sarasota, FL 34237, (813) 953-6952

preyno of

TURKEY: Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883 ($5)

mpbarno of

Game Notes:

1) Lots o' action, eh??


(AMBASSADOR KENT POLLARD to THE VARIOUS POWERS): ``Ve ar continuink ze polizy of globahl exzpanshon vhich shall bring ORDER to a confuzed Europe!! Ve harbohr no ill vill to anyone exzcept zose who are agaiinst us!! Ze peace loving peeples ov my nation ar only conczerned viss zha vell beink ov all. My government stresses to ze Various Powers/Hedds ov States the `We ar only followink the PRIME DIRECTIVE' "!!

(FIELD MARSHAL JON RHODEHAMEL SPEAKING to THE COMMANDS OF THE 1ST, 3RD, AND 5TH ARMY GROUPS): "Be happy that your actions are leading to a greater Union of all peoples. We will continue to move forward, penetrating our enemies' lines, whereby all opposition shall be crushed!!..............

(HANS THE BEER MAKER): ``I intend to establish a new brewery in Constantinople. !!FREE BEER!! WILL BE GIVEN AWAY FOR A DAY WHEN OUR TROOPS PUSH THE FUZZY HEADED TURKS OUT!!!..........................

(ENGLAND to IRF): Can you say ``No Home Dots?" I thought you could. No, you can fight over them.

(THE AUSTRIAN 3RD ARMY CORPS to THE RUSSIAN TROOPS HOLDING MOSCOW): ``Winter is coming!! There is a time to fight and a time to flee!! We choose the latter. . . . . . . . .

(BARNO'S HAIR IS SECRETLY RUNNING THE COUNTRY!!): < AP DISPATCH > The CIA and FBI today raided Mike Barno's house in a joint operation. It seem's Mike Barno's hair had been making inroads into the branches of power and legislative halls in Washington DC. Mike Barno's hair has been linked to several embellezing shemes and to an assisination in Virgina. Alan Greenspan has been linked to meetings with Mike Baro's hair and has been taped soliciting hair contributions from hi.

The Rogaine in Red fingered Mike Barno's hair outside a theater in downtown DC. Upon being cornerd his hair lept from his head and landed on stage. It was heard to have shouted ``We will not recede from tyranny" as it limped off the stage making a hasty exit.

Police were optomistic about locating the wayward folicles as Mike Barno's Hair suffered damage on it's escape leaving several patches of itself at the theater. These bits of hair are being questioned.

If Mike Barno's hair is sighted PLEASE call police immidiatly. It should be considered conditionless and dangerous. If the police are unaviable the only think you can do is grab a bottle of Pantene and pray. ((sic, very sic - I couldn't bring myself to clean up the spelling errors....))

(MIKE to KENT, RANDY ELLIS, and JIM-BOOB): I survived the expedition to Yellowstone with the obligatory Barnomobile breakdown not occurring until I was 100 miles from Binghamton. On Saturday night, the state police dispatcher gave me the phone number of a garage which is NOT OPEN on Saturday nights or Sundays. So Jeff Bohner fetched me and I spent 92 for a 23-mile tow and eventually 300 to replace the ignition control module. The GM dealer locked my keys in the car so it wouldn't get stolen from the back lot, but my spare keys were still in my camping backpack locked in the trunk. So I had to break into my own car - used a curtain rod to push the lock lever. Heckuva trip, though, very worthwhile. Didn't hike and camp as much as I hoped but did some and one roll of decent pictures. Watched some geysers, camped alone at Grebe Lake, saw some wildlife, renewed many old friendships. Almost camped at the campground near Yankee Jim Canyon where a pair of renegade shooters had just wrecked their car and fled up the mountainside. Highway Patrol and deputies and rangers were searching the steep, rocky, brushy terrain in pitch dark; they finally caught the kids (19 and 16) the next day around noon.

(TURKEY to FRANCE): The Austrians don't have bad breath, they have bad alcohol abuse problems among the impotent figurehead "monarch" and the out-of-control general staff. Among your motoring industry people are talking of horseless-carriage accidents caused by drunk drivers.... Think of the Austro-Hungarian activity as a "policy crash" in a similar fashion. Team momentum was foolishly thrown away, swapped for a short-time individual gain followed by years of isolation, siege, and eventual destruction, fated to die alone because of discarding allies far too soon.

(PALACE OF LIGHT AND FIEROS to ADVENTURER WRAPPED IN THE HOLY ANCIENT GLORY OF ROME): The commendation and gratitude of the Ottoman Empire are publicly extended to the Italian government and people in recognition of the excellent accommodations that were provided to our ambassador during his recent trade mission. The free scenic vista was outstanding. [One question arose, though: Why were no in-room masseuses provided?]

(NO REMISSION WITHOUT THE SHEDDING OF BLOOD): Cries of ``Le sacrifice humain!" are heard from the somber crowds surrounding the Pollard mansion.

SO GOOD IT HURTS: 1998 P, Regular Diplomacy


Winter 1903

AUSTRIA (K. Ozog): bld a bud; has a BUD, a VIE, f BUL(SC), a TRI, a SER.

ENGLAND (James): bld f lvp; has f LVP, f MID, f NWY, f WES, f ENG,

f SWE, a BRE.

FRANCE (Kinney): rem f naf; a SPA, a POR.

GERMANY (Goesle): bld a ber; a BER, a GAL, a MUN, f BAL, f DEN, a PAR, a MAR.

ITALY (Rauterberg): bld f nap; f NAP, a TYO, f ION, a BOH, a GRE.

RUSSIA (Rusnak): has a SEV, a LVN, f GOB, f BLA, a RUM.

TURKEY (Emmert): R a ser-ALB; rem a alb; has a ARM, f AEG, f CON.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Kurt Ozog, 391 Wilmington Drive, Bartlett, IL 60103, (630) 837-2813

tantalized1 of

ENGLAND: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956 ($5)

dkbn of

FRANCE: Mark Kinney, 4820 Westmar Terrace #6, Louisville, KY 40222, (502) 412-3079

alberich of

GERMANY: Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235 ($5)

gozcorp of

ITALY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($5)

prosit of

RUSSIA: Russ Rusnak, 1551 Highridge Avenue, Westchester, IL 60154-3428 ($5)


TURKEY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456-5436, (757) 471-1842 ($4)

Lse of or semmert of

Game Notes:

1) Note Kurt Ozog's new E-Mail address.


(ROME-IBERIA): While your try for Tunis is forgivable given your desperation, it really wasn't very bright: you chose that move, with a low percentage chance of success, over covering WMS and slowing the English encirclement of your enclave. Oh, and thank you. I didn't really want to move out of Ionian anyway....

(TURKEY to FRANCE): Welcome to the No Gotta Dotta club. Let's see if we can last longer than they think we will. This is turning out to be a real Hermit reunion, isn't it?

(GERMANY to ITALY): Oh yeah. NOW you tell me.

(EMMERT to JAMES): I think a big part of the reason why college baseball isn't as popular as, say, college football is exactly the reason you cite: There isn't any minor league football. The best baseball and football players in the country are in MLB and the NFL. The second-best football players in the country are in college, or out of organized football (I don't count arena football, though maybe I should). The second-best baseball players are in AAA ball. I don't think that's the sole reason for the lack of popularity of college baseball, but it's one reason.

(GOZ to DREW): I really don't have a good answer on your college baseball question. Lack of TV coverage?

(VIRGINIA BEACH to PROVIDENCE): You see, there are only two places to get deep, analytical discussions of the business and philosophy of baseball. One is The Sporting News, and the other is the So Good report. Next month: ``The Tyranny of the Players' Union: Can the American League Dump the DH?"

(TURK to HAPSBURG): That Nostradamus guy was right. You're next. Italy and Russia have been partners since the gamestart was announced, and you and I are caught in the middle of it. Whichever of us survives the intial elimination will be their next victim.

(TURK to TSAR AND POPE): Would either of you gentlemen care to confirm what I have advised the Hapsburg, or are you going to deny it in an attempt to deceive us?

(GOZ to NOSTRADAMUS): Why don't you give us something worthwhile next time? How about the winners at Belmont?

(GOZ to BOOB): Cheers! Good to see you this weekend!

(ENGLAND to FRANCE): No offense, but I want the old France back. It is hard to gloat to someone who isn't responsible for their situation.

(VIRGINIA BEACH to BOARD): I took my daughter (age 5) to her first hockey game last night, Sept. 28 - Capitals-Hurricanes in Norfolk. One of the Caps got a two-minute minor in the first period, and she asked why he was going over to that box. I explained the concept of penalties and the penalty box, and that the Caps would play one short for a while. After a moment, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, how long does he have to stay in Time Out?"



Turn 14

- F - I - N - A - L - - F - I - N - I - S - H - - L - I - N - E -
120 (no replenishment): Empty
119 (no replenishment): Empty
118 (no replenishment): Empty
117 (no replenishment): Empty
116 (no replenishment): Empty
115 (no replenishment): Empty
114 (no replenishment): Empty
113 (no replenishment): Empty
112 (no replenishment): Empty
111 (no replenishment): Empty
110 (replenish with a 4): Mopsy (Breaking Away!)
109 (no replenishment): Empty
108 (no replenishment): Empty
107 (no replenishment): Empty
106 (replenish with a 3): John Logie-Baird
105 (no replenishment): Empty
104 (no replenishment): Empty
103 (no replenishment): Empty
102 (replenish with a 3): Alfred the Great
101 (replenish with a 4): Cottontail
100 (replenish with a 5): Bernard Spoke, Curly, Larry
99 (replenish with a 8): Moe, Eric Cartman, Kyle Broslofski, Christoph Wheelhub, Shemp
98 (replenish with a 13): Peter, Shane the Chain
97 (replenish with a 15): Flopsy, Alessandro Cyclotron, Stan Marsh

86 (replenish with a 3): Sir Isaac Newton, Broke Leg Meg
85 (replenish with a 5): Chasin' Jason

70 (replenish with a 3): Damon Velodrome, Barkin' Larkin'

57 (replenish with a 3): Will Shakespeare

Addresses of the Participants - Their Team and Their Cards

TEAM 1 (Farmer McGregor's Dinner): Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02492

(8 points) 72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

A: Flopsy 15 3 10 3
B: Mopsy 4 4 6
C: Cottontail 6 15 4
D: Peter 4 4 13

TEAM 2 (Chef's Crackers): Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY

(37 points) rick_desper of or desper of

Coach is, of course, Chef
A: Stan Marsh (aka the Star Quarterback) 15 7 8 8
B: Kyle Broslofski (aka the Lonely Jew) 8 11 5
C: Kenny McCormick (aka the Pov) Watching Dad's porn videos
D: Eric Cartman (aka the FatAss) 12 8 4

TEAM 3 (Goz Transportation Co.): Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235

(9 points) gozcorp of

A: Alessandro Cyclotron 3 7 15 7
B: Bernard Spoke 5 4 4
C: Christoph Wheelhub 3 12 8
D: Damon Velodrome 3 3 3

TEAM 4 (Brit Pack): John Harrington, 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex, EN1 3UW UK

(17 points) johnh of or fiendish of

A: Alfred the Great 3 4 3 3
B: Sir Isaac Newton 18 3 3
C: Will Shakespeare 3 3 3
D: John Logie-Baird 4 4 3

TEAM 5 (The Stoogecycles): David Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033

(23 points) rebhuhn of

A: Curly 5 4 4
B: Larry 3 5 3
C: Moe 3 8 3
D: Shemp 3 5 8

TEAM 6 (The Flat Wheel Society): John Schultz, #19390, W-M11L, Indiana Department of Correction,

(4 points) Plainfield Correctional Facility, 727 Moon Road, Plainfield, IN 46168-9400

A: Broke Leg Meg 4 3 5
B: Shane the Chain 4 13 4
C: Barkin' Larkin' 3 3 4
D: Chasin' Jason 5 4 3

Game Notes:

1) David Partridge, John Schultz, Tom Howell, Harry Andruschak, Eric Brosius, and John Harrington will be in the new game here. I have orders from everyone except John Schultz. Get 'em in next time, John!! Then the new game will begin, just about the same time as this one ends. We'll be playing Version 2.3 of the rules as published a few issues back.


(DATELINE DALLAS): Today the Cowboys announced that they had solved last year's problems in training camp drills. ``They've practiced the roadside sobriety test until it's second nature by now."

(HOLLYWOOD BLACK PRESS): Harry Andruschak has been signed up to appear in two porno films whilst wearing his kilt, SHEEP THROAT and BEHIND THE GREEN PASTURE GATE.

(GOZ TRANSPORTATION CO., QUARTERLY REPORT to THE PARENT COMPANY, GOZ & CO., INC.): Profits up $18M this quarter, just in time to pay corporate taxes on them. The CEO's 7-year-old niece, who has been calling the shots lately, has demanded a doubling of her allowance and stock options. We sent her to bed without supper, but not until after getting her thoughts on orders for this turn, since she's done much better than her recent predecessors.

(LATEST FROM VEGAS): For those of you who are not really paying attention, this is actually an extremely close race. Who can stop Cottontail from taking 2nd? Nobody, that's who! And then if Mopsy or Flopsy gets third, the bunnies are only one point behind Chef's Crackers!

On the other side, looks like the Flat Wheel Society is about to have two more riders dropped. Our bookies may be forced to make a payment to the Goz Transportation Co. to cover this bet - but the odds were low and thankfully the cash-strapped GTC didn't have much to wager with.

(JOHN BOY): Ha! Does it really matter?

(PLAUTUS-BOOB): VIN IAM FACIUM, UT STULTIVIDUM ESSE TU TE FATEARE? ``Shall I force you to admit to yourself that you have all the foresight of a fathead?

(TFWS-DESIGNER): This is a fun little game. Damned shame it took me so long to figure out what was goin' on.

(TFWS-BOOB): Whole lotta barkin' goin' on-ha!-yeah-that's a good one, boss!!

(ROUND 2): The fight's outcome isn't final until both boxers pass the drug tests. One wonders if the USA is the only country in the world that has higher standards for its boxers then for its presidential candidates.

(HARRY ANDRUSCHAK-JIM BURGESS): OK, I am going to try and send my moves and press on floppy disk. I assume a super-duper computer whiz kid like you can handle a very simple ASCII test file?. Otherwise...

(JIM-BOB to HARRY): Yes, we got it JUST fine; however, change of plan. I bought a super-duper computer whiz scanner more than worthy of a super-duper computer whiz kid like me (actually, it was Charlotte who really needed it) and it scans in letters really well. So, just after starting it, let's bag that idea!

(MERCATOR PLAUTUS-BOOB): Ad mandata claudus caecus mutus mancus debilis. ``When it comes to following orders you're a lame, blind, mute, maimed wreck of a man."

(DOCTOR SHACK YE QUACK SEZ): I note that Dan Quayle has announced that he is quitting the presidential race. I really do feel sorry for the guy. It is indeed a sad situation when you have Donald Trump running for president, Warren Beatty running for president, Pat Buchanan running for president, and Dan Quayle is still considered the dumb one.

(HARRY ANDRUSCHAK-RICHARD WEISS): Your memory is failing you again. The NYEED game you were thinking of over in ``Saddam Hussein" did not have a round where we all agreed not to attack with nukes for one round. This was in the older one-shot version of NYEED, and the ``Peace On Earth" plan called for a careful targeting of the 34 nukes on the 34 SCs, resulting in 0 SCs for all players, resulting in a 7-way win. Mark Lew broke ranks and finished dead last as a result, and he also spoiled the joke. That's the problem with kids nowadays, no sense of humor.

(HARRY ANDRUSCHAK-JIM BURGESS): On 15 June I tried out the local library's internet access computers. As you can read from the enclosed sheet, this internet access is not for e-mail, newsgroups, ``chat", or ftp. It is mostly for the WWW. And most of the time the computers have hoards of students on the waitlist. I was finally able to get an hour alloted, and you will be thrilled to know that I was able to access the Diplomatic Pouch. After that I went book shopping at and was cheered to find that one of my favourite guide books had come out with a new 1998 edition, although I could not order it from the library connection. (Ordered it from Borders Books after several other book chains refused to order it for me.) My main impression after one hour on the WWW was ``too many graphics". Animation all over the place. Banners, advertisements, and I don't know what else. How was a guy supposed to R*E*A*D anything with all this fuss going on? Grumble grumble grumble...

(GOZ to EVERYONE): Ok, will someone now please kill Cottontail?

(TFWS NEWSLETTER): Discussion could be heard among members regarding rumours that there might actually be (shhhh-round wheels). One Barkin' Larkin' was clearly quoted as stating, ``Naaaaah-can't be.'' The rest were in total agreement.

(ANDRUSCHAK-COUCH POTATOES): Since my return from China, I have had several letters and phone calls from concerned family and friends about ``getting out of China in time" to avoid the demonstrations in the wake of the USA's bombing of the Chinese embassy in Belgrade.

Gee folks, thanks very much, and I do appreciate your concern, but like Mark Twain's death the news was not reliable. Now this is not to say that the Chinese are not angry with the US Governemnt. However, the average Chinese citizen knows full well that the actions of a government do not reflect the opinions of its citizens. China has had 7,000 years of civilization and none of it has been democratic.

One has to remember that China wants to join the World Trade Organization, but is asking for certain concessions. The USA has an axe to grind over the human rights issue, such as Tiananmin Square. This explains the posturing poo-poo of the State Department's travel advisory for China.

My own advice and opinion would be to ignore all that stuff and go to China. I'd go again if I had the time and money. Just stay away from the area of the embassy and you will be just fine. You will find the Chinese to be friendly and understanding. Your main problem will be with the vendors and sellers. Remember, never pay more then $1 for 10 postcards, $3 for a t-shirt, and bargain for everything else. You can usually get 40% off whatever the asking price is, so bargain.

I've also been asked about the food, such as if we ate dog and cat and so on.

Background: I eat and enjoy haggis. I note that most americans (but not me) eat lots of spam, hot dogs and Big Macs. So why the qualms about other foods? "Now it's chicken that I cannot eat, because it tastes like rattlesnake meat".

Here is the information. Most of China does not eat cat, dog, snake, monkey brains, or any other exotic meats. Most of the time it is beef, pork, chicken, duck, and fish. How did this idea of eating dog get around?

China has many regions, each with its own distinctive cuisine. One small region is Guangzhou, which westerners continue to mispronounce as ``Canton". And THIS small region is the one with the omnivores. Here you can indeed eat all that other stuff. And the truth is that the rest of China tends to disdain the Cantonese. ``The Cantonese will eat anything that flys except a kite, anything with 4 legs except the table and chairs, and anything in the water except a boat." This is NOT intended as a compliment.

For reasons of history, it was mostly the Chinese of Canton who, in the 18th and 19th centuries, spread around the world. They opened restaurants and for many westerners it was Cantonese cuisine that came to be known as ``authentic" Chinese cuisine.

Friends, do not worry. The tourist restaurants will never serve you the exotic stuff. It is also against the law in Hong Kong. In most of China you will get authentic cuisine of the region and it will be beef, pork, chicken, duck, and fish.

About the closest our tour group got to exotic was in Shanghai, where we had authentic Mongolian Bar-B-Q. Mongolian Bar-B-Q is now widespread in the USA, so you know the drill. The Shanghai version served beef, pork, chicken, and goat. The goat meat was just about the only exotic meat our tour group had in China. Interestingly enough, I was the only member of our tour group to eat the goat meat, 3 bowls of it. Yum yum.

During our tour group's stay in Guangzhou, we did indeed stroll through the famous QINGPING MARKET, the heart of the city, and we saw it all. Yes, the cats and dogs and snakes and all the rest of it, waiting to be bought, cooked, and eaten. Snakes are sold at so much per 500 grams, and the cost varies according to species of snake. It would be idle to deny that some of the party were upset at seeing the cute little kittens, knowing what was going to happen to them.

However, the exotic foodstuff is only part of the market. Aside from the flowers and birds (some to be pets, some to be eaten, some both), there was a wide variety of items used in Chinese folk medicine. Dried bats, dried seahorses, dried and fresh this and that. I asked about the seahorses, and the ever-friendly Chinese informed me that they were cooked in a broth to be given to babies and small children. Chinese folk medicine is a thriving business, especially in Guangzhou.

I suppose I should reassure all those who are thinking about a trip to China that if you really insist on it, you can find Kentucky Fried Chicken and McDonalds in every Chinese city, and more and more American fast food franchises are showing up.

Needless to say, I didn't insist. I paid good money to come to China and I wanted nothing but authentic Chinese food and I got it. Day after day, meal after meal, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I pigged out, stuffing myself. Did YOUR mother ever try to get you to eat the spinach by telling you to ``remember all the starving children in China"? I remembered. I over-indulged. If any child starved in China last April, it was not my fault. As a result, I came back five pounds...lighter. Even my Doctor found this hard to believe, but that is what the scales in her office showed.

Authentic Chinese cooking is very low fat cooking, except for a few items like Beijing Duck. We also did a lot of walking for exercise, such as climbing the Great Wall or walking up the many many steps of the many pagodas and temples. I guess that helped to burn off some extra calories. I always used chopsticks. Forks are for wimps.

FEAR AND WHISKEY: 1998Ers31, Modern Diplomacy


Summer 2000

BRITAIN (Schultz): has f NTH, f LAP, a STP, f MUR, a NAV, f GOB, f SAO, f BIS, f MAO.

EGYPT (J. O'Donnell): has f RED, a ALE, a ALG, f TUN, a MAC, a IRN, f SOG, a KAZ, f EME.

GERMANY (Rauterberg): R a auv-PAR; has a MUN, a FRA, a RUH, f BHM, a SWI, a AUS, a MOS,

a LIT, a CZE, a BIE, a SLO, a PAR, a PIE, f PRU, a LYO, f BAL, a POD.

ITALY (Ozog): has a TUS, a APU, a CRO, f LIG, a VEN, f ION, a MAR, f GOL,

a HUN, f GRE.

RUSSIA (Ellis): R a mos-GOR, a stp-EST, a lap-NOR; has a GOR, a EST, a NOR.

SPAIN (S. O'Donnell): has a MAD, a SVE, a POR, f GIB, a AUV, a BAR.

UKRAINE (Partridge): has a ODE, a MOL, a CRP, f EBS, a VOL, a KIE, f IST, a GEO, a RUM, a SER.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: John Schultz, #19390, W-M11L, Indiana Department of Correction,

Plainfield Correctional Facility, 727 Moon Road, Plainfield, IN 46168-9400

EGYPT: Jeff O'Donnell, 402 Middle Ave., Elyria, OH 44035-5728, (440) 322-2920 ($4)

FRANCE: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202 ($5)

GERMANY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

ITALY: Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138, (360) 691-4264 ($4)

ElfEric of

POLAND: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

RUSSIA: Randy Ellis, 1005 Kentucky #2N, Lawrence, KS 66044, (785) 838-9687

Randy1964 of

SPAIN: Sean O'Donnell, 126 S. Park, Oberlin, OH 44074, (440) 774-2928 ($5)

sean_o_donnell of, seanside of

TURKEY: Kent Pollard, 1541 W. San Jose, Fresno, CA 93711, (209) 225-0957 ($10)

UKRAINE: Dave Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033 ($8)

rebhuhn of

Game Notes:

1) Check out the Modern Dip web page at: Cyberia/modern.htm


(THE MEKONS QUOTE OF THE MONTH): ``The temptation on the street; Is more than any saint could stand; I have to bite my tongue; And keep on walking straight ahead; You have got to draw the line between; What you want and what you need.'' From ``Fantastic Voyage'', a song on So Good It Hurts and the source of the game name for the new game at the top of the Games Section.

(LON-ROM): Here we go, you must be a Republican - telling me what my moral obligation is. Besides, rarely is the moral thing to do the most fun thing to do.

(HARRY ANDRUSCHAK-JEFF O'DONNELL): ``For years I've regarded Richard Nixon's very existence as a monument to all the rancid genes and broken chromosomes that corrupt the possibilities of the American Dream; he was a foul caricature of himself, a man with no soul, no inner convictions, with the integrity of a hyena, and the style of a poison toad."

(BRI-SPA): Good job, Sean.

SHOW ME THE MONEY: 1997Mea04, Colonial Diplomacy


Summer 1907

BRITAIN (York): has a DEL, a BEN, f ADEN, a KAG, a KAR, f RS, f HK, f MAL,

a SIK, f PG, f BOB, a KAM, f CAN, f BAN(EC).

FRANCE (Sasseville): R a ran-N.SAM; has f ANN, a U.BUR, f GOS, f CAM, f TON, a MAY,

a N.SAM, a BOM, a ASS.

HOLLAND (Desper): has f SCS, f AS, f FOR, f SIO, f MP, a RAN, f SUN.S, f LS.

JAPAN (K. Ozog): has f OS, a KYO, a SHA, a VLA, f ECS, f NAN, a MAC, f UP, f YS,

f SOJ, a SEO.

RUSSIA (Williams): has a BOK, a MON, a TAS, a PUN, a URU, a PER, f EGY, a BAG, a LAN,

a SHI, a PEK, a KIR, a CHU, f MEC.

TURKEY (Tallman): R a aden-ARA; has a ARA, f SUD.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Andy York, PO Box 201117, Austin, TX 78720-1117

wandrew of

CHINA: Rich Goranson, 4351 Chestnut Ridge Road, #7 Amherst, NY, 14228-3227 ($5)

ForlornH of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($7)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

HOLLAND: Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY (E-Mail)

rick_desper of or desper of

JAPAN: Kurt Ozog, 391 Wilmington Drive, Bartlett, IL 60103, 630-837-2813

tantalized1 of

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (661) 297-3947 ($5)

wllmsfmly of

TURKEY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($0)

terryt of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The Russian concession, the RBHJ draw, and the HBRJ draw are all rejected. This applies even if you combine the votes on the last two together.... The Russian concession is reproposed. Please vote with your fall orders.

2) Note Kurt Ozog's new E-Mail address.


(TSAR to BRIT): Cannon to the right of you, cannon to the left of you. Volleys of shot and shell. Into the jaws of death, into the mouth of Hell. Run away, brave 600! ((Very cool, is that from the Charge of the Light Brigade??? I hope I read your handwriting correctly. Your handwriting CANNOT be interpreted by the new scanner...))

(TSAR to GOD-KING EMPEROR KURTUKAWA OZOGSAN): You have shown yourself honorable, indeed. How next may we serve your spirited Royalness in the war against the imperial lackeys?

(TSAR to DUTCH UNCLE): Come home, Rick, and all will be forgiven. There is still time to save yourself.

(ODESSA to SULTAN): Really - is this how you meant it to end? Not with a bang, but a ``zzzzzzzzz''? This I expect from Langley, not you. Onward and upward!

(F-R): I will hold as long as I can.

(RUSSIA to FRANCE): Roland, your struggle is valiant and we support you and are in your corner always,.... geesh, Burgess, am I sounding more and more like Flash all the time or what? Gimme the news. Doc Boob, is there a cure?

(BOOB to DUCK): Total isolation from ALL Fazzian influences for THREE years of hard labor, that should do it.

(SANTA CLARITA to PROVIDENCE): Hmmm, better ``Doc Boob'' than ``Boob Doc'', eh? ((I'm not completely sure.....))

(F-B and H): Ah the memories of old alliances.

(RUSSIA to FRANCE): Sorry.... we just voted ``Oui''.

Personal Note to You:

File translated from TEX by TTH, version 1.66.