September 21, 1999

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287

Accessible through Internet at burgess of; FAX to (401) 277-9904

David Partridge really has moved, but I blew it last time and didn't include his new address. It is: Dave Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033, see the subszine for more details.


Join us for the Diplomatic Incident in Boston on October 2nd and 3rd. I realize we are missing the postal press again this issue, but I need to get this issue out to people before the Incident.

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: It is likely that we will have to alter the location of the Convention. Plans have not been finalized as of this writing, but if you are planning to attend, contact me NOW. I will keep a list and notify you of the UP-TO-DATE plans as we make them.

The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada, a bargain at twice the price.... but you can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and future game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $20.00 ($15.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). Note the price increases for games, with the rates for subbing to the szine holding fixed for the moment. After the current series of games, I probably won't start another until the Modern game ends. The new game at that point probably will be another Modern game with the ``Wing'' rule.

Check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch with all of the information you need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at:

Through Stephen Agar's (who is still in charge here) Postal portion of the Pouch:

the szine resides in html format. Presently, issues from #190 to the current issue are there, and I will be updating the back issues gradually in the near future. Also, check out Stephen's new ``all electronic'' format for Spring Offensive at:

The most recent issue of TAP also can be accessed through Pete Sullivan's web page and occasionally David Wang's:

1) David has grabbed and reserved the HIGHLY prized name:!! David Wang's site also allows you to follow John Caruso's postal baseball league that I am in. My Boston Red Sox in that league have captured the Eastern Division title and go up against Lance Phillips' Anaheim Angels, Gary Behnen's Blue Jays finish dead last, Don Ditter's Indians think they have a clean path to the World Series, but really haven't the starting pitching to make it, I'll beat them if Richard Edison's Twins don't beat me to it, Dave Anderson's Tigers beat me up badly on the last turn, but fail to beat out the Twins for the last playoff spot by one game, Kitton (Mets) and Eric Voogd (Reds) get into the playoffs in the National League and are MY favorites to reach the World Series.... meanwhile, in "real life", my Red Sox still continue to surge. Quake in your boots you damned Yankees!!

2) For the most recent issue of Pete Sullivan's subszine check out:

Pete is looking for Railway Rivals standbys, but otherwise, he is full with games at the moment. We try to get caught up on OG's this time....

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!!


I suspect Michael will be really easy to find, so I have a backup suggestion from Brad Wilson if you do. You have until issue #230 to find Michael but if you find him by next issue, I'll insert Brad's choice. I ***DO*** take suggestions. Many people have been suggesting people I've never heard of though, so you've got to give me an explanation as to why they would be fun to find.

Let's get Kevin, Garret, Jerry, and Al found too!!!

This is a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Garret Schenck or Jerry Lucas or Al Pearson is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, finance a web page, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for. Steve Hutton picked up fifty bucks US last time and I also awarded him a lifetime sub. Go for it!

This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.


The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 3UW, UK.

E-Mail: fiendish of or johnh of

Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally or in GBP to John if you're doing things from that end. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

A VERY light discussion is taking place that will address what stance we (the hobby) should take (proactive in some way for sure) toward Hasbro, the new owners of the rights to Diplomacy. More on this will be forthcoming, but it looks like Hasbro might have its version of Diplomacy on the market for the Christmas season and they actually will be employing ``play-testers''. No word on precisely what this means yet, could it mean that they will offer a series of ``official'' variants? Stay tuned.... If you want to be part of the discussion, send the MESSAGE:

subscribe hasbro

to majordomo of, it works just like the tap mailing list described below. Sending messages to hasbro of sends the mail to the whole list. The big news this time is the beginning of the breakout of Hasbro into official contact with the hobby. See the two messages below.

The game Diplomacy is a copyrighted product owned by Hasbro and all reproductions or other use of that material in this szine is intended to be personal use and not infringe on those rights in any way. All reproductions are done at a heavy financial loss to the editor and thus are without the remotest possibility of commercial intent, except to promote THE game, the Game of Diplomacy, which you all should purchase from Hasbro or other duly licensed distributors.

This first note will annoy all of those who keep trying to convince me that the hobby is dying, when it most emphatically is not. And, I would argue, that if it weren't for how busy we ALL are getting these days, more of this activity would also be associated with szines. To some extent it is already, but the GM's are just a little less ``organized'' about it.....

Doug Massey (21 Sep 1999 17:21:16 GMT)

The 1346 games that were finished between Sept 1, 1998 and Aug 31, 1999 featured a total of 3251 different players, according to the Diplomacy Resignation Record database. This number is slightly inaccurate, as (a) some duplicate registrations haven't been paired together yet, and (b) some temporary replacements or mercy-position replacements aren't included in the total. Also, a small number of games never make it into the database, for various reasons.

But it's probably pretty close.

Of the 3251, over half played only one game. Less than 1000 played more than two games, and less than 500 played as many as five games.

In fact, here's a distribution of number of players who played a certain number of games, where each * represents 50 players:

21+: *
14-20: *
12-13: *
10-11: *
8-9: *
7: *
6: *
5: **
4: ***
3: *******
2: ***********
1: **********************************
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Games Players

Doug, masseyd of

((And remember that Judge dip is only a fraction of the total number of E-Mail games out there.))

Peter Sullivan (Fri, 17 Sep 1999 20:33:51)

Don Del Grande's WDC Charter is interestingly prescriptive in its non- prescriptiveness. (``You may not be prevented from doing x.") I note his remarks about one zone for Europe. Personally I don't see this as an issue, because there are only 3 zones at the moment. Approximately 1/3 of the WDCs in the UK & Europe sounds about right. Of the main UK cons, Manorcon is not likely to ever want to bid again, and now Midcon is run by the Furrycon lads, I doubt they will want it either. So if WDC is to take place in the UK again, it will probably be at a smaller con like Mastercon - or, at the other extreme, the Mind Sports Olympiad.

At work, I am part of a group of 20+ consultants. We all used to have direct line responsibility to the Head of Consultancy, but this was too wide a span of control. We have now been re-organsied into teams of consultants under Senior Consultants. I have been appointed as the team leader for the consultants who do not belong to any team. I think this is the first time that I have come across Bertrand Russell's ``Class of All Classes" paradox in real life.

Re. Richard Weiss and prepositions. I seem to remember a story about one of Winston Churchill's speeches, which had been assigned to a civil servant for checking. He corrected a preposition at the end of a sentence only to have WSC excise the correction with the comment ``This is the sort of impudence up with which I will not put!" ((This comment of Churchill's is infamous.))

I suspect the only irrevokable rule in the English language is that there are no irrevokable rules.

- Peter Sullivan, peter of

((Which is why it eventually WILL be the World Language. It is only a matter of time. The Japanese, for example, are making attempts to keep up with the speed of coinage of new words in English to stem the tide, but that's all it is doing, affecting the rate of adoption.))


There is still time to send in your ``best of 1998'' lists. Give it to me anyway you want to - a top 10, a couple of favorites, a list, an essay, whatever - the classic is to tell me your top singles, top albums, and best concerts of the year, but you are the boss. Don't wait too long though because I want to move into the party tape issues pretty quickly. I'm going to have to delay Part III of the lists plus some other music material for this issue. Apologies to those whose letters are slow to come into print.


This section is developing a list of the great party singles of the century. You'll get a definite sense of quirky before we're done. You'll also get a sense of timelessness. I'll assume that I'll also get some comments from some of you. I'm going to set a slate of only 10 - that's just ONE more from what is below and then DEMAND votes from you out there to fill the rest of the slots. The Bullpen voting system I am envisioning will work like this: you each get ten votes which you can allocate across as few as five songs (2 votes apiece) or as many as ten songs (1 vote for each). You can allocate your ten votes any way you want, but you can't put any more than two votes on any one song IN THIS LAST ROUND, see below. You also get ONE B-52 song vote (although you can add votes from your main allotment if desired) and THREE Drug Song votes which will be held in a separate category (also no more than two votes per song though). The other ``special'' bullpens must be voted on from your main allotment of votes. I decided that I WILL print running totals and print the names of the people who have voted. Also, you guys wrote some great stuff about the songs, so I've printed that too! Write-ins will be permitted, but are unlikely to win. I know I have lost some suggestions that aren't in the bullpen lists below, so feel free to mention 'em again! Everything that started in the bullpen started with one vote.

LAST CHANCE COMMENTS: ``Love Shack'' and ``Rock Lobster'' are running neck and neck. I may take both of them depending on how many votes they get against the rest of the bullpen. In the regular bullpen, the ones with at least seven votes I think are definitely in, but there's a big bunch at six and I don't think I will take them all!! I reserve the right to take my choices as tiebreakers if they don't all fit. As of this moment, I am looking for 90 minutes of songs, but I haven't started adding up all of the timings yet. ``Paint It Black'' and ``Take Me To the River'' (I'm inclined to use the live version from the video album) look safely in, but no other Heads or Stones songs have gotten widespread support. At this point, I'm also inclined to take no more George Clinton songs after ``Atomic Dog'' and to grab ``YMCA''. Finally, I think I'll do two ``drug'' song breaks, one on each side of the tape, so ``Red Red Wine'' is likely to be in and I will take the Fraternity of Man (by personal fiat since it was mentioned in Outside Providence) to break a tie there if it still exists. These could change a lot if I get a lot of votes, BUT (IMPORTANT NOTICE!!!):


To encourage voting early, five voters at random will receive five US dollars from me (either in cash or paid to someone for Dip stuff). I'm also giving the round one voters below five chances in said drawing, those in the second round four, and so on, to more heavily penalize the chances of those last minute voters and reward these pioneers! This should do it, last chance is NOW!! The last prize will be awarded in issue 225 and in #226 I will announce the final list of songs. Get your final votes in now if you don't see your name below!!! You each will receive two chances in the drawing for the next five dollar prize. Voters in Round 1 were Mike Barno($5), Rick Desper ($5), Tony Dickinson, Drew James, Heath Gardner, and John Harrington. Round 2 postal voters are John Schultz ($5) Ian Moore, and Stan Johnson. In future drawings these people will have five chances, just as the Round 1 voters. Round 2 E-Mail voters get four chances and are Scott Morris, Warren Goesle, Peter Sullivan, and Michael Lowrey. Round 3 voters are Dick Martin, Richard Weiss, and Rip Gooch; they get three chances to win. Round 4 voters are Roland Sasseville, Jr. ($5), Don Williams, Brent McKee (2 votes left), and Andy York; they get two chances. Round 5 voters so far include Mark Larzelere (still has 5 votes left, I gave 5 of his votes to ``Echo Beach''), and that's it.

We'll end up with a monster party tape at the end of it that I plan to segue and sequence and copy for distribution. The result will be a great New Millenium party tape - we're going for 90 minutes. I've also been thinking that I should put this out on CD as truly emblematic of the new millenium. I don't have the capability to do that quite yet, but I think I might by then. Any suggestions (or especially volunteers) on this front will be cheerfully accepted and could receive monetary payments!

So far, we have ``I Melt With You'' by Modern English; George Gershwin's ``I got Plenty O' Nuttin' '' from Porgy and Bess in the 1957 concert recording with Ella Fitzgerald finishing off the vocals after Louis Armstrong blows and sings through the tune; Duke Ellington performing Billy Strayhorn's ``Take the A Train''; Frank Sinatra's ``New York, New York''; something from the B-52's; the original Van Morrison and Them version of ``Gloria''; The (English) Beat's 12 inch version of ``Save It for Later'' ratchets things up to the next level (wherever you put it!); Buster Poindexter's ``Hot, Hot, Hot'' keeps you there; ``Atomic Dog'' by George Clinton blows the doors off, and Koko Taylor cleans up singing Willie Dixon's ``Wang Dang Doodle''.

EXTRA SPECIAL B-52'S BULLPEN: (6) ``Love Shack''. (5) ``Rock Lobster". (3) NONE; ``Planet Claire''. (2)``Give Me Back My Man"; ``Private Idaho''. (1) ``Dance This Mess Around"; ``Deadbeat Club''; ``52 Girls''.

BULLPEN: (9) Nirvana - ``Smells Like Teen Spirit". (8) ``Mannish Boy" - Muddy Waters; ``Proud Mary'' - Ike and Tina Turner. (7) ``Cumberland Blues'' - the Grateful Dead; ``Twist & Shout" - Beatles. (6) ``Twistin the Night Away" - Sam Cooke; ``Shake, Rattle, & Roll" - Big Joe Turner; ``Magic Carpet Ride" - Steppenwolf; ``Crossroads'' - Eric Clapton; ``Play That Funky Music'' - Wild Cherry; ``Radar Love'' - Golden Earring; ``In Between Days'' - The Cure; Devo - ``Whip It"; ``Echo Beach'' - Martha and The Muffins. (5) ``Sing Sing Sing'' - Benny Goodman. (4) Lou Reed - ``Sweet Jane''; ``Jambalaya" - Hank Williams; Public Enemy - ``Bring Tha Noize"; ``I Feel Good" - James Brown; ``Brick House" - The Commodores; ``I Wanna Be Sedated" - Ramones; Peter Frampton - ``Do you feel like we do". (3) ``Dancing With Myself'' - Billy Idol's Gen X; ``Tweedle Dee'' by Lavern Baker; B Movie - ``Nowhere Girl"; ``Add It Up'' - Violent Femmes; ``Party Train'' - Gap Band; ``Locomotion" - Little Eva; Ini Kamoze - ``Here Comes the Hotstepper"; Squeeze - ``If I Didn't Love You"; ``party at ground zero'' by fishbone; ``Rocking the Casbah'' - The Clash; ``The Butterfly Collector" - The Jam; ``Roadrunner'' - Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers; Bangles - ``Hazy Shade of Winter"; Del Shannon - ``Runaway''; Hot Chocolate -``You Sexy Thing"; Go-Go's - ``Our Lips are Sealed"; ``In the Mood" - Glenn Miller; ``Louie, Louie'' - The Kingsmen. (2) ``Fire on the Mountain'' - the Grateful Dead; Violent Femmes - ``Blister in the Sun"; ``Want Ad Blues" - John Lee Hooker; ``Suffragette City'' - David Bowie; Green Day - ``Basket Case''; Susan Tedeschi - ``It Hurt So Bad''; ``Debaser'' - The Pixies; ``What I Like About You" - Romantics; ``Train In Vain'' - The Clash; ``Revolution" - the Beatles; Little Richard - ``Rock Island Line''; ``Magic Mountain" - the Animals; ``Pass the Dutchie" - Peter Tosh; ``What Time is Love'' - KLF; ``One Love" - Bob Marley; Doors - ``Roadhouse Blues"; Strunz and Farrah - ``Americas''; ``Ebeneezer Goode'' - The Shamen; ``Lithium'' - Nirvana. (1) ``Walk This Way'' - Run-DMC; ``How Soon Is Now?'' - The Smiths; ``Last of the Famous International Playboys'' - Morrissey; ``Brass in Pocket'' - The Pretenders; ``Machine Gun'' - The Commodores; ``Roadrunner'' - the Animals; ``I'm Coming Out'' - Diana Ross; Clarence ``Gatemouth'' Brown - ``Up Jumped the Devil''; David Bowie - ``Fame''; ``Been Caught Stealing'' - Jane's Addiction; ``Hard to Handle'' - Black Crowes; ``Birth-day'' - Suzanne Vega; Led Zeppelin - ``Hey, Hey what can I do"; Three Dog Night - ``Shambala"; Concrete Blonde - ``Still in Hollywood"; ``The Pusher" - Steppenwolf; ``Give the Dog a Bone" - AC/DC; ``Chain of Fools" - Aretha Franklin; ``Ballroom Blitz'' - The Sweet; ``Hi Ho Silver Lining'' - Jeff Beck; ``And We Danced" - Hooters; ``Particle Man" - They Might Be Giants; Erasure - ``River Deep, Mountain High"; ``All Along the Watchtower" - Jimi Hendrix's KISS THE SKY version of Bob Dylan's song); ``I Wanna Be a Lifeguard'' - Blotto; ``Hollywood Handsome" - Tuscadero; ``Connection" - Elsatica; ``Happiness is a Warm Gun" - The Breeders; ``Why do you Drink?" - Hank Williams, Jr.; ``Freshly" - Dillinger; ``Fool's Gold'' - Stone Roses; ``Wannabe'' - Spice Girls; ``All Right Now'' - Free.

SPECIAL GEORGE CLINTON BULLPEN: (2) ``I Just Wanna Testify''; ``Flash Light''. (1) Prince - ``Bob & George"; ``Let's Take It to the Stage'', ``The Pinocchio Theory''.

SPECIAL MILLENNIUM BULLPEN: ``1999'' - Prince; ``Disco 2000'' - Pulp. These songs are officially INELIGIBLE FOR THE TAPE!!!

SPECIAL ROLLING STONES BULLPEN: (6) ``Paint It Black''. (3) ``Sympathy for the Devil''; ``Honky Tonk Woman'' (including ``I met a ginsoaked bar-room queen in Memphis"); ``Satisfaction". (2) ``Jumpin' Jack Flash"; ``Emotional Rescue''; ``Brown Sugar''. (1) ``Get Off of My Cloud''; ``Gimme Shelter''; ``Street Fighting Man''; ``Bitch''; ``Little T and A''.

SPECIAL TALKING HEADS BULLPEN: (9) ``Take me to the River". (4) the entire Speaking in Tongues record (special call for ``Road to Nowhere''). (2) ``Life During Wartime''; ``Psycho Killer''. (1) ``The Great Curve''.

SPECIAL ALPHABET SONG BULLPEN: (6) ``YMCA" - Village People. (1) ``MTA" - Kingston Trio.

SPECIAL DRUG MUSIC BULLPEN: (8) ``Red, Red Wine'' - UB40. (6) ``Don't Bogart that Joint'' - Fraternity of Man; ``The Old Dope Peddler'' - Tom Lehrer. (5) ``Casey Jones'' - the Grateful Dead. (4) ``Cocaine'' - Eric Clapton's version. (3) The Toys - ``Smoke Two Joints''; ``White Rabbit'' - Jefferson Airplane; ``Minnie the Moocher'' - Cab Calloway; ``Bush Doctor'' - Peter Tosh; ``Love Is the Drug'' - Roxy Music. (2) ``Easy Skanking" - Bob Marley; ``Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll'' - Ian Dury and the Blockheads; ``The Needle and the Damage Done'' - Neil Young; Pink Floyd - ``Obscured by Clouds''; ``Hotel California'' - Eagles; ``Smoke, Smoke, Smoke (That Cigarette)'' - Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen; ``I'm an Okie from Muskogee'' - Merle Haggard; Stranglers - ``Golden Brown''; entire Animals album - Pink Floyd; ``Panama Red'' - New Riders; Thin Lizzy - ``Whisky in the Jar''. (1) ``Purple Haze'' - Jimi Hendrix; ``Legalize It'' - Peter Tosh; ``Heroin'' - Lou Reed and Velvet Underground; ``The Drugs Don't Work" - The Verve; ``Old Red Eyes is Back" - Beautiful South; ``Hemp, for Victory'' - Ramon Renedge; ``Revolution'' - Spacemen 3; ``Halcyon'' - Orbital; ``Sinsemilla" - Black Uhuru; Hawkwind - ``LSD''; ``Hassan I Sahba''(Hashish) - Hawkwind; Sisters Of Mercy - ``Amphetamine Logic''; ``More Songs about Chocolate and Girls'' - The Undertones; ``Cars Hiss By My Window'' from LA Woman - The Doors; Levellers - ``Just the One''; New Model Army - ``Heroin''.

Rick Desper (Sun, 12 Sep 1999 15:58:39)

Boy, Rip Gooch sure looks bad with the timing of your issue. Let's look at the Wild Card standings today.

Boston W:81 L:61 GB:-

Oakland W:75 L:64 GB:3

Toronto W:75 L:68 GB:6.5

Right now, the Red Sox are 4.5 games behind the Yankees, and 3.5 behind the Rangers. The Jays are basically dead - they are 7 behind in the loss column with 20 games left. ((Even more so today, as I write this....)) Oakland could pass the Sox, but I don't think it will happen. People say ``but the Sox have to play the Indians and the Yankees!" Well, so far they are 2-0 against the Yanks this weekend, with the suddenly vulnerable Rocket Man pitching today. As for the Indians, they've already clinched. Plus the Sox have been beating up on them all season. The Sox match up well against the Indians, since the Indians have little pitching, while the Sox's pitching is good enough to stop even the Indians' bats. (Well, at least Pedro is - his 17K job against the Yankees was quite something.) ((Indeed, and both the Yankees and the Red Sox beat up on the ``clinched'' Indians.))

I would be surprised to see the Yankees make the World Series this year - their ``aces", Clemens and Cone, are not pitching well. Cleveland has got a ton of hitting, but might really have a problem in round 1 with the Sox. Given that the Indians cannot beat Pedro, they would have to sweep the 3 games he did not start. Sadly, they did exactly that last year. I've got a hunch the Rangers could finally make the Series this year. Palmiero is as hot as any other hitter in the AL, their starting pitching is solid, while their bullpen is the best in the AL. It's really hard to guess - the top 3 (Cleveland, NY, Texas) seem pretty evenly balanced, while the Sox could beat any of them if they get just a bit of good luck. ((That's just about the way I see it, too. But I think the Sox have at least as good a chance as any of them do to make it to the Series.))

As for Oakland, I don't know much about them. Apparently Tim Hudson and Kevin Appier are pitching well, and they've got a lot of big sluggers like Jason Giambi, Matt Stairs, etc. I think they might pass the Sox, but if they did they would lose in the first round to either the Yankees or the Indians. ((The Orioles will decide it, lots of games against the Sox and that crazy make-up doubleheader because of Floyd rainouts [Oakland must sweep that].))

The NL also seems wide open this year. Just when I was about to count out the Reds, they starting hitting like crazy. And the Astros have won 9 in a row. I don't know which of the four (Braves, Mets, Astros, Cincinnati) will miss the playoffs, but it probably won't be the Braves. Maddux looks to be back on form, but he (like Clemens) has never been much of a postseason pitcher. Look out for Arizona with Randy Johnson pitching as well as anybody not named Pedro. Still, it is noteworthy that Johnson has lost a lot of games where his team has not scored for him. If they cannot get a hit against Jose Jimenez, who has since been sent to the minors, how will they get runs against Maddux, Glavine, and Smoltz? The Astros have Caminiti back, and two great starters in Hampton and Lima, as well as sluggers Bagwell and Biggio. Will this be the year they finally make the Series?

Well, hell, teams from Texas have been kicking butt this year - the Stars won the Stanley Cup, the Spurs won the NBA championship, the Comets won the WNBA. And Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France (an amazing story which means he already should be given the SI Sportsman of the Year award). So, I'll go nuts and pick an Astros-Rangers World Series! The New York media will cry themselves to sleep - this is the best opportunity for a Subway Series in memory. But the Yankees should have known better than to go after Clemens. He's always been just good enough to lose in the postseason. All any other team would need to do is put Dave Stewart on the mound. :)

Rick, R.Desper of

((And a late postscript....))

Rick Desper (Tue, 21 Sep 1999 13:37:12)

So, the A's are still very much in the penant race. With two weeks left, they were 4.5 games behind the Red Sox for the wild card.

Last night, they played a game in Oakland, and 6,512 people showed up. ((Very, very sad, don't they see how they are ensuring that the team they have must be broken up as a result???))

I find that mind-boggling. An exhibition game in Boston would get more fans, even if the Sox were 20 games below .500.

Part of the reason teams like Cleveland and Baltimore can afford to spend money on players, and teams like Oakland and Kansas City cannot, is that fans actually attend games in Cleveland and Baltimore, while the A's and the Royals have been essentially abandoned by their fans.

You could say - well, the fans don't like supporting a team which has no chance. But when less than 7,000 people show up for a game which has important playoff implications with less than two weeks left in the season, then the fans have to take some of the blame.

Rick, R.Desper of

Steve Emmert (Fri, 17 Sep 1999 09:09:39 -0400)

Mornin', Jim-Bob -

I just checked Providence's current weather on the internet, and it looks like the storm has gone on to Maine. I hope you fared okay. The sun is shining here in scenic Virginia Beach, and the weather jocks promise us four days of sunny skies and temperatures in the 70's. This must be our reward for enduring the hurricane. Did I accidentally say something about Ontario? ((I dunno. Yeah, if I had kept my class the extra half hour instead of letting them out early it all would have been gone before I had to go out and drive in it. It dumped all sorts of rain on Danbury, Connecticut as a consolation prize.))

I still haven't heard much about storm damage in the Carolinas, where it presumably is the worst. Things near here are worse than I had heard yesterday - 100,000 people without power, and that water treatment plant may be out of commission until some time next week. (I think I could get by more easily without power than I could without running water.) I saw news footage of homes covered in flood water up to their roofs - literally the whole house was inundated. And this is about 40 miles from where I live. Somehow it seems otherworldly when it happens in Pakistan, half a world away, but when it's your neighbors' homes . . . very sobering. Anyway, I am one lucky damned fool.

Hope you're well, and dry. Best wishes. Steve, Lse of

((It sounds bad even today down there, glad you missed the very worst of it!))

Mike Barno (Sun, 12 Sep 1999 10:13:32 -0400)

Hi Jim,

Most delighted to see word from Steve Hutton and Alan Stewart in the latest TAP. Both were among my favorite pubbers and favorite folks to game with at cons. ((Great, they're around for the duration now.))

I'm on vacation headed for Yellowstone in a few hours... will return Sept 26. Expect e-mail from me at the Munson account or from another Gardiner account... I'll include a password such as Al Pearson's nickname so you know it's not Scott pretending to be me. If I don't turn up, it's probably just another Barnomobile breakdown like the one that caught me enroute home from Vertigo Games.

Mike, mpbarno of

((What would a Mike Barno trip be without a Barnomobile breakdown?? You have to be the absolute world expert on decision making when breaking down with a car in a strange place. You know when to hold 'em (and where and how to get things fixed) and you know when to fold 'em (when to abandon the car and buy a new Barnomobile to get you on your way). I'd be clueless, basically. Next up we have another installment in something else that I clearly am clueless on, the positions of Jody and Rick on our foreign policy debate. Here's Rick's latest attempt to clean it up....))

Rick Desper (Sun, 12 Sep 1999 15:34:12)

In the letter, you make it seem as though I'm giving a back-and-forth with Jody. That is not exactly how it happened.

Let's see...

I said ``if the Republicans can flagrantly and willfully illegally sell arms as part of a hare-brained foreign policy, and escape punishment, on what grounds is the current impeachment based?"

Jody emphasizes my usage of the word ``part" to infer that I was somehow criticizing all Republican foreign policy. Note, however, the usage of the word ``a", as in ``a hare-brained foreign policy". An administration has policies with regards to many different things. These policies can be sometimes independent. The usage of the word ``a" could be seen to imply that there are many other foreign policies. ((Yes, and there clearly are different, possibly independent foreign policies. I am a BIG believer in not making any organization into a ``monolith'' where all decisions are connected. They seldom are.))

Regardless, Jody inferred something which I did not say, and then proceded to criticize me for it.

Regarding ``I suggest you read up a bit more" - I had no other response to Jody feigning a lack of understanding behind the motives of NATO involvement in Serbia. Let's look at exactly what Jody said, which he has omitted in his ``I feel insulted" letter:

(from TAP 218) `It was interesting to hear Rick Desper talk about Clinton and mention Reagan's ``hare-brained" foreign policy. And Clinton's foreign policy would be... what? It seems to be something like: threaten a lot and use bombs a lot. And what exactly are we doing in Kosovo anyway? Did we accomplish what we set out to do?'

I'm sorry, but when Jody says that he thinks Clinton's foreign policy is to ``threaten a lot and use bombs a lot", then he's trivializing the issue. I feel fully justified in calling this criticism a ``cheap shot". When he feigns ignorance about what the goals are, I think it's OK to tell him to read up on the issue.

Jody claims to not to want to be getting into a Net-type flame war, but if this really were his desire, he could avoid the type of behavior which causes so many of these flame wars. I find this problem happens a lot on r.g.d. Somebody will say something, I will criticize what they say, and then they will reply to my criticism by omitting and mischaracterizing the original objectionable comment. ((Yeah, I do like to keep things above that here. I hope we will be able to do so, while showing John Boardman that people in Diplomacy szines are still interested in discussing foreign policy issues and REAL Diplomacy. I think they are, I know I am.)) This type of behavior bugs me. If a person is unwilling to stand behind something he said, either admit it and move on, clarify, or leave it be. Please don't pretend that the original statement was not said at all.

Had Jody's TAP 218 letter been as reasoned as his latest letter, he would not have earned the sarcastic response that he got. ((I say cut people some slack and let them do a lil' weaselin' to get out of a tough scrape, if you know what I mean.... but I do know what you mean too.))

At the time (this was a few months ago), I found myself in the position of The American in my workplace. I found that, although Germany is a member of NATO, some Germans think that they have to do what the US wants, and they are resentful of their role in NATO. I had numerous discussions with my German teacher (in German, mind you) in which he was saying the kind of thing where the US is just an imperialist power, we're bombing the country without caring about things. Other people say Americans view the whole thing as a video game. I take exception to this kind of argument.

I quote ``Rick seems to subscribe to the idea of Stopping the Ethnic Cleansing....We didn't stop the cleansing, we accelerated it." This is the logic of appeasement. If we have one set of people pursuing a policy which violates any reasonable concept of human rights, and the attempt to stop them by a second set of people leads to the first set doing more violations of human rights, then who is to blame? Jody would have us believe that the attempt to stop ethnic cleansing caused the ethnic cleansing. I think the answer is simpler - the guilty party is the guilty party, not the party trying to police things. The whole idea, which many media members subscribed to, that the US ``provoked" the ethnic cleansing, is ridiculous. ((You will admit that there are some fuzzy issues in this one, I hope, ranging from the clear violation of existing international law by sticking our nose into a civil war (justified in my eyes as a greater good, to be sure, but still the facts) to the continuing screwy attempts to have ``clean'' takeovers while REAL people are dying on the ground. Sorry, it isn't ``clean'' if ethnic Albanians (or East Timorese, for that matter) are dying. They're people too and they ``count''.))

I have not wanted to put myself forward as a Clinton apologist. But I would prefer it is people criticizing his actions would do so intelligently, not glibly. In TAP 223, Jody did the former, in TAP 218, the latter. This makes me feel that my comments served a purpose.

Rick, R.Desper of

((And I would agree, and hope that Jody does too.))

Scott Hanson (12 Sep 1999 13:08:51)

Hi Jim-Bob, Just a note from a long lost old fart...

Frauke and I are expecting our first child in December. Totally unplanned and unexpected, but it will be a good change. She'll take at least a year off work (in Germany, a parent can take up to 3 years unpaid ma-/paternity vacation). We'll see what will happen after that.

For any other old farts who may remember us, we have a new web journal at We're trying to keep it updated at least weekly, and even Frauke is writing some stuff. She could always be much more creative than I.

I do read all the TAPs that land in my E-mail box, mostly scanning for names I recognize...

Cheers, Scott, shanson of, Johmsweg 9, D-21266 Jesteburg, Germany

((Congratulations, Scott, I'm sure Kathy Byrne Caruso, for one, will be very pleased to hear it - read this, Kathy!! - and thanks for giving me the location of the new web page!))

Rip Gooch (Mon, 13 Sep 1999 08:10:05)


Okay, so I've come as close as is ever likely to be to monopolising your letter column. Time to let someone else lever an opening for an edgewise comment. Unless there is further bait towards which I might be tempted to rise, I'm off to plague Brent McKee!

As a parting shot, I feel compelled to write that I have at last witnessed the phenom(e) Susan Tedeschi. Her brief appearance at Farm Aid has won my undying admiration. Has Maria McKee finally met her match in my (highly) personal, wildly subjective Hall Of Fame? Perchance. Further research will settle the matter.

This Has Been - Conclusively - Rip G So long and thanks for all the scarlet herring, ripgch of

((Hey, I don't mind. Anyone can monopolize the letter column as long as I don't have to retype their ramblings.))


``So I called up George and he called up Jim, I said let's make a deal.

He said he'd talk to him. Gonna start a church where you can save yourself,

You can make some noise, When you've got no choice...

You told me useful things, what people think of me, I guess I should thank you.

It's true, then I agree... I'm all alone, I've got no choice,

I'm all alone, I've got no choice."

From ``Got No Choice" by the incomparable Mark Cutler, from the CD Mark Cutler and Useful Things.

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904.

Standby lists:

Mike Barno, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Paul Rauterberg, Stan Johnson, Randy Ellis, Heath Gardner, Phil Reynolds, Paul Kenny, Sean O'Donnell Dan Gorham, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy.

Kurt Ozog, Mike Barno, Phil Reynolds, Sean O'Donnell, and Jim Sayers stand by for the Colonial Diplomacy game.

Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Phil Reynolds, Jim Sayers, and Kurt Ozog stand by for the Modern Diplomacy game.

Sean O'Donnell and David Partridge stand by for Colonia. I still need standbys for the Colonia game!

Let me know if you want on or off these lists, especially OFF. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks.


The next Breaking Away is filling that will appear here. See details under the Breaking Away game below. The other game is starting in Tinamou. See the subszine for more details next time it appears (I hope that is next issue).

The only Diplomacy oriented opening left is an opening for a game of Star Trek Diplomacy! These will be the last Diplomacy game openings until more games end. See Stephen Agar's rules on his web page at:

There are two changes I am looking at when I start the game. First, I really want to name all the star systems after Star Trek locations. I have begun to do this already, but if someone wants to contribute significantly, or even volunteer to do it all, I will offer a free game start in the game. Second, after naming all of the systems, I think I want to nix the ``revolving rings'' rule. I am open to suggestions on the latter, though I want to print maps and ***I*** don't know how to make the rings rotate easily. The game start is open now, and since I want to STRONGLY encourage press, you can sign up and ``claim'' a race. Stephen Agar claims the Borg and Jody McCullough claims the Romulans. Buddy Tretick and Roland Sasseville, Jr., also are set to play. I'm expanding my net and hope to fill this soon. This game also has the $20 game fee ($5 of it refundable for NMR insurance).

I suppose I have to admit that no one is requesting Pontevedria, the North American game opening flyer, from Conrad von Metzke any more. You can contact Conrad by E-Mail at metzke of if you want to ask him about it. I'd be pleased to help anyone find other game openings on a personal basis too. The longer run solution might come out of the efforts of the Brits, on which we might be able to piggyback. If you are interested, contact Stephen Agar at stephen of who still heads up The Diplomatic Pouch postal section or or join the Brit hobby mailing list at:

I have the players for the new game and the country assignments. They are - Austria: Dan Gorham (paid), England: John Biehl (paid), France: Sean O'Donnell (arranged), Germany: Dwayne Shreve (paid), Italy: Terry Tallman (arranged), Russia: Buddy Tretick (free), Turkey: Randy Ellis (paid). I did a random draw since I did not have preferences from everyone. Those of you that I haven't heard from in awhile should drop me a line to ensure that they are still in the game (if you fall in that category I will note it in your issue, I have Rick Davis set to be the backup player). I will provide addresses to the players with this issue and will put up the game ``for real'' next time. The deadline will not be until sometime in November and I will announce it next time. I plan to find an appropriate Mekons song for the game name.

(Sometimes I Feel Like) FLETCHER CHRISTIAN: 1999Cgh013, Colonia VIIb Diplomacy



Fall 1751

AUSTRIA (Prosnitz): a vienna-VENICE, a BAVARIA h, a BELEM h, f adriatic-NAPLES,

f south pacific-SAMOA.

CHINA (Acheson): a wuhan-TIBET, a tibet-NEPAL, a CHINGHAI-sinkiang,

f east china sea-TAIWAN.

ENGLAND (Power): a PERU-bolivia, a KAMERON-gabon, f malaya-SIAM(WC),

f north sea-NORWAY, f irish sea-IRELAND.

FRANCE (Gamble): a toulon-SAVOY, f ligurian sea-PAPAL STATES(WC), a sahara-TAUREG,

a massachusetts-OHIO, a LEON h.

NETHERLANDS (Schuetz): a antwerp-RHINE, a LOUISIANA h, a GABON h, f hanover(wc)-DENMARK,

f coral sea-FIJI.

OTTOMAN (Johnson): a baghdad-PERSIA, a suez-EGYPT, a persia-AFGHANISTAN,

f bulgaria(sc)-ROMANIA, f central pacific ocean-GUAM.

PORTUGAL (Stimmel): a LISBON-leon, a vancouver-MANITOBA, a nizam-MAHRATTA,

a ARGENTINA-bolivia, f canaries-AZORES.

RUSSIA (Rauterberg): a kiev-CRIMEA, a lithuania-POLAND, a MONGOLIA-sinkiang,

a natal-MOZAMBIQUE, f baltic sea-SWEDEN, f korea-MANCHURIA.

SPAIN (Gardner): a valencia-MADRID, a texas-CALIFORNIA, a ethiopia-SUDAN,

f western mediterranean sea-TUNIS, f philippine sea-RABOUL.

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Prosnitz): BUD,VIE,SUR,TRI,TAH,ven,bav, (has 5, bld 5)
CHINA (Acheson): PEK,WUH,XIA,AMO,tib,nep, (has 4, bld 3)
ENGLAND (Power): ECU,NIG,MAL,EDI,LON,kam,peru, (has 5, bld 5)
FRANCE (Gamble): PAR,DAK,TOU,QUE,BOR,sav, (has 5, bld 4)
NETHERLANDS (Schuetz): ANT,FLO,ANG,HAG,MEL,lou, (has 5, bld 4)
OTTOMAN (Johnson): ISM,JER,BAG,IST,HAW,persia, (has 5, bld 5)
PORTUGAL (Stimmel): LAG,ALA,GOA,BRA,LIS,man, (has 5, bld 4)
RUSSIA (Rauterberg): MOS,KIE,OMS,CAP,STP,VLA,cri, (has 6, bld 6)
SPAIN (Gardner): MAD,MEX,SOM,VAL,MAN,cal, (has 5, bld 4)
Neutral: many (Total=???)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Gene Prosnitz, 2600 Netherland Ave., Apt. 1116, Riverdale, NY 10463, (718) 601-8131 ($5)

CHINA: Bob Acheson, 304-556 Laurier Ave., Ottawa, ONTARIO K1R 7X2, CANADA ($5)

racheson of

ENGLAND: John Power, 5043 Lymbar Dr., Houston, TX 77096, (713) 283-8962 ($5)

jrpower of

FRANCE: Terry Gamble, 201 Kenney Ave., Barksdale AFB, LA 71110, (318) 752-1787 ($5)

velobus of

NETHERLANDS: Karl Schuetz, 20 Toledo Lane, Willingboro, NJ 08046, (609) 871-9058

OTTOMAN: Stan Johnson, 12036 S. Potomac St., Phoenix, AZ 85044, (602) 589-0034 ($5)

PORTUGAL: Robert Stimmel, Apt. #57, Casa de Sherry Apts., 2462 North Sycamore Blvd.,

Tucson, AZ 85712-2541, (520) 326-8369 ($5)

RUSSIA: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

SPAIN: Heath Gardner, 3017 Mayview Road, Raleigh, NC 27607 (919)-834-4832 ($5)

hgardner of

Game Notes:

1) The Supply Center Chart should be checked carefully (and I'm sure will be by my faithful Robert Stimmel). Persia and Peru were the only centers I found with non-unique first three letters. You'll let me know if there are others. The centers in CAPITAL letters are ones in which you potentially can build. Obviously, if you have a unit in that place, you can't build there. This is just marking the buildable centers for you and for me. Note that the Winter build deadline follows immediately and then Spring not long after. This game has been so slow to start that I'm worried about the new pace. Humor me and get your orders in on time! Thanks!!

2) Remember that the ORDERS above are the official results. I have included a map again for your use. I know it will be useful for me and hope it will be useful for you. If my drawing is unclear or in error, as it undoubtedly will be at times, don't sweat it too much.

3) I think Stan Johnson has moved again, at least the phone number listed above is disconnected. If anyone knows anything about this, contact me ASAP as that Winter build deadline will be on us VERY quickly.

SECRETS: 1999D, Regular Diplomacy


Winter 1901

AUSTRIA (Zarr): bld a tri, a bud; has a TRI, a BUD, f GRE, a RUM, a SER.

ENGLAND (Sayers): bld f lon; has f LON, a NWY, f NTH, f NWG.

FRANCE (Sasseville): bld a par, f mar; has a PAR, f MAR, f POR, a PIC, a SPA.


has f DEN, a RUH, a HOL.

ITALY (Schultz): bld f nap, a ven; has f NAP, a VEN, f TUN, a APU, a VIE.

RUSSIA (Trent): bld a mos; has a MOS, f SWE, a FIN, a UKR.

TURKEY (Munson): bld f smy, a con; has f SMY, a CON, f BLA, a SEV, a BUL.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821 ($5)

hdzarr of

ENGLAND: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA ($10)

100233.513 of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

GERMANY: Standby was Stan Johnson, 12036 S. Potomac St., Phoenix, AZ 85044, (602) 589-0034

GERMANY: New Standby is Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883

mpbarno of

ITALY: John Schultz, #19390, W-M11L, Indiana Department of Correction,

Plainfield Correctional Facility, 727 Moon Road, Plainfield, IN 46168-9400

RUSSIA: Chris Trent, 8553 Banff Vista Dr., Elk Grove, CA 95624-1746, (916) 685-7772 ($5)

ChrisT98 of

TURKEY: Scott Munson, PO Box 1042, Gardiner, MT 59030, (406) 848-2102 ($5)

samunson71 of

Game Notes:

1) Jim Sayers should be returning around the time you see this.

2) Richard Pinelli has not returned and is officially out. Stan Johnson may have moved, his phone number has been disconnected and I don't have orders from him either. We must move on, so I have NBRed Germany, reluctantly. I have also called Mike Barno as a second standby. I have reason to believe that I am ***VERY*** likely to be able to quickly engage Mike into the game, but the standby position is still Stan's if he gets back to me by the deadline. Orders MAY be made conditional on who is ordering the German units.


(TRAVEL BROCHURE): ``Welcome to Rome one of the most exciting and historical cities in the world!" hmm, worth a visit...

(AUS-ITA): Good luck with your plan. Killing me quickly does not aid you in the long term. I hope you are ready to fight a two-front war in the north and south.

(AUS-RUS): I don't predict a long life for you. Sorry about that.

(STATE ALLOWED PRESS RELEASE, FROM THE OFFICE OF JOHNNY MUSTAFA): The Sultan has shown a rise in spirits since `restocking' his harem with numerous women from the Crimea region. It would appear that the Sultan has a healthy appetite for `childbearing hips.' The output of the Sultan's factories has gone up 26% in the past month alone, allowing the building and maintenance of a fleet and the formation of a new regiment. The economy, driven primarily by slave labor, is at an all time high. The Sultan is pleased.

(DR. VINNIE GOOMBA to MOSCOW): We will gladly attempt to cure the Tsar of any and all illness. May we suggest a certain priest whose nickname is Ras to advise him and pray for a cure.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: 1999Arn42, Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy - Black Hole Variant


Summer 1903

AUSTRIA (Gardner): has a BOH, a GAL, and nuked TYO, WAR(2), MOS, STP, SEV.

ENGLAND (Barno): has f NWG, f NTH, a CLY, and nuked PIC, SMY, PIE(2), HEL, GM(3).

FRANCE (S. Kenny): has none, and nuked TUS, LON, PIE(2), GOL, MID.

GERMANY (McCullough): has f DEN, a BUR, a KIE, and nuked TYH, SPA(2),

POR(2), SER, *GM*(3).

ITALY (Weiss): has none, and nuked 666 SMITH ST., PROVIDENCE RI, USA, EARTH, MILKY WAY GALAXY [GM(3)],


RUSSIA (Reichert): has f GOB, a UKR, a SIL, f BLA, and nuked APU, NAP, ROM, VEN.

TURKEY (Schultz): has a CON, and nuked ION, SPA(2), POR(2), MAR, BRE.

Addresses of the Participants

Sandy Kenny, 23 East Coulter Avenue, Collingswood, NJ 08108-1208

Jody McCullough, 1071 Brown Avenue, Lafayette, CA 94549-3153

jodym of

Richard Weiss, 500 Beale St. # 104, San Francisco, CA 94105, (415) 512-7221

rcw of (preferred) or rcw23 of

Sara Reichert, 20805 Margaret, Carson, CA 90745-1224

John Schultz, #19390, W-M11L, Indiana Department of Correction,

Plainfield Correctional Facility, 727 Moon Road, Plainfield, IN 46168-9400

Heath Gardner, 3017 Mayview Road, Raleigh, NC 27607

hgardner of

Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883

mpbarno of

Current Standings

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 TOTAL

SANDY KENNY  4  3  7
MIKE BARNO  0  5  5
Black Holed 15 15 16 46
Neutral  2  1  3

Total 34 34 16 84

Times GM Nuked  1  1  3  5
Greenland  1  0  0  1
Iceland  1  0  0  1
Kurt Ozog  0  1  0  1
Beale St., SF  0  1  0  1
Ind. Prison Off.  0  0  1  1

Game Notes:

1) Someone asked what the point was to the Summer season in this game. Quite frankly, it is press, and the chance to have six weeks to devise Fall moves!!! This one is REALLY complicated, as I see it!!!


(JODY to BOOB): An experienced editor like yourself ought to be able to tell a typo from a spelling mistake. Spelling school won't be neccesary. You're trying to get yourself nuked again, aren't you? BTW, that wasn't actually directed at anyone in particular. But if the cap fits ;-) ((Hey, I'm always looking to get nuked. I've learned to enjoy it. I then feel better when you stop!))

(WEBSTERS to NITPICKERS): Yes, it was a joke.

(GERMANS to TURKS): I'm not sure I agree with your ``get the leader" idea. In fact, I'm pretty sure I don't agree with it.

(GERMANS to ITALIAN REMAINS): Trying to get nuked every turn, right?

(JODY to JOHN): It wasn't me. ((Good! I actually had a suspicion that it MIGHT have been you... I'm glad it wasn't.))

(WEBSTERS SPEAKS AGAIN): Flubbage (n) 1: The act or process or an instance of flubbing 2: A large body of blunders created by continual flubbing

(JOSEPHINE BLOWNAPART - > PURINA (NEW K)ITTY CHOW): We showed those men, didn't we?

COME AND HAVE A GO (If You Think You're Hard Enough): 1998V, Diplomacy


Summer 1903

AUSTRIA (Pollard): has a VIE, a GAL, a BUD, a BOH, a SER, f BUL(SC), a LVN, a RUM.

ENGLAND (Tallman): has f NTH, f SWE, f NWY.

FRANCE (Morris): has f ENG, a BUR, f POR, a SPA, a PIC.

GERMANY (Sayers): has f DEN, a BER, f HOL, a MUN, a RUH.

ITALY (Munson): has f ION, f GOL, f IRI, a VEN, a TYO.

RUSSIA (Reynolds): R f nwy-NWG, f swe-BAL; has f NWG, f BAL, a MOS, a STP.

TURKEY (Barno): has a CON, a SMY, f BLA, a SEV.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Kent Pollard, 1541 W. San Jose, Fresno, CA 93711 ($4)

ENGLAND: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($4)

terryt of

FRANCE: Scott Morris, 12110 Shelbyville Rd., Louisville, KY 40243, (502) 893-8260 ($5)

Scottm221 of

GERMANY: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA ($10)

100233.513 of

ITALY: Scott Munson, PO Box 1042, Gardiner, MT 59030, (406) 848-2102 ($5)

samunson71 of

RUSSIA: Phil Reynolds, 2896 Oak Street, Sarasota, FL 34237, (813) 953-6952

preyno of

TURKEY: Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883 ($5)

mpbarno of

Game Notes:

1) Remember that the next round will start up very soon after this one ends.


(RUSSIA to ENGLAND): The countdown has begun. Prepare to be NUKED!

SO GOOD IT HURTS: 1998 P, Regular Diplomacy



Fall 1903

AUSTRIA (K. Ozog): a VIE S ITALIAN a tyo-boh, f aeg-BUL(SC), a TRI S a bud-ser, a bud-SER.

ENGLAND (James): f nao-MID, f NWY-stp(nc), f mid-WES, f ENG h,

f SWE S GERMAN f ber-bal (nso), a pic-BRE.

FRANCE (Kinney): a SPA S a por, a POR S a spa, f NAF-tun.

GERMANY (Goesle): a boh-GAL, a ber-MUN, f kie-BAL, f DEN S f kie-bal, a bre-PAR, a MAR-spa.

ITALY (Rauterberg): a ven-TYO, f ION-tun, a tyo-BOH, a GRE S AUSTRIAN f aeg-bul(sc).

RUSSIA (Rusnak): a ukr-SEV, a LVN-stp, f GOB-stp(sc), f BLA-con, a RUM S AUSTRIAN f aeg-bul(sc).

TURKEY (Emmert): a ARM-ank, f smy-AEG, f CON-ank, a ser-gre (d r:alb,otb),

a bul S a ser-gre (d ann).

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (K. Ozog): vie,bud,tri,ser,bul (has 4, bld 1)
ENGLAND (James): lon,lvp,edi,bel,nwy,swe,bre (has 6, bld 1)
FRANCE (Kinney): spa,por (has 3, rem 1)
GERMANY (Goesle): ber,kie,mun,den,hol,mar,par (has 6, bld 1)
ITALY (Rauterberg): rom,ven,nap,tun,gre (has 4, bld 1)
RUSSIA (Rusnak): mos,war,sev,stp,rum (has 5, even)
TURKEY (Emmert): ank,smy,con (has 3 or 4, even(r:otb) or rem 1)
Neutral: none (Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Kurt Ozog, 391 Wilmington Drive, Bartlett, IL 60103, (630) 837-2813

changing from kozog of - new address not known yet

ENGLAND: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956 ($5)

dkbn of

FRANCE: Mark Kinney, 4820 Westmar Terrace #6, Louisville, KY 40222, (502) 412-3079

alberich of

GERMANY: Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235 ($5)

gozcorp of

ITALY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($5)

prosit of

RUSSIA: Russ Rusnak, 1551 Highridge Avenue, Westchester, IL 60154-3428 ($5)


TURKEY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456-5436, (757) 471-1842 ($4)

Lse of or semmert of

Game Notes:

1) Not much going down.


(AUSTRIA - ALL): Just FYI. I will be moving on from the telecom industry after a two-year stint (Amen to that). I will have a new email address in place sometime during the week of Sept. 20th.

(JAMES to KINNEY): Strange how growing powers with solid positions rarely have to bring in a standby. Thanks for picking up France. It is tough to have to lay in a bed you didn't make. By the way, I'll take a real long shot - you don't happen to have a relative who is a retired admiral do you?

(NEW FRANCE to GERMANY): I believe you - indeed, this is what I get for only playing standby shots (although that last outing as Italy way back when was practically a complete game - the Hermit, wasn't it?) I've been a bit out of touch.

(LONDON TIMES): After much turmoil a new regime has taken over leadership of the exiled French government. Our victorious BEF has arrived in Brest while our allies are marching through Paris. The remaining units of the French fleet are in rapid retreat and it appears as though the decimated fleet may be scuttled in the near future. Our government has ordered a fleet into the Med to seek out and destroy any remaining French ships which refuse to surrender.

(JAMES to EMMERT AND GOZ): I am not a baseball fan, but I have been following your press with interest. I have a question for you guys - why doesn't anyone really follow college baseball while college football and basketball are so popular? Is it really just the obvious answer that baseball takes place during summer break? Is it because baseball has minor leagues, while football and basketball don't? The college versions of basketball and football are far superior to the pro versions - no talk of strikes, salaries, etc and the teams turnover every year to keep it all interesting. Any thoughts?

(COMMISSIONER GOZ to BOOB): WHAT?!?!?!? You want a SOLUTION?!?!? I don't get to just mouth off at you? Ok, I guess that's fair, since it's your rag. I hinted at an outline of it last time, but the whole solution would take up more paper than the Starr report.

To start with, you don't have to make it ``illegal" for local governments to support teams. The governments should be smart enough to not do it on their own. If local businesses wnat to buy overpriced luxury boxes to entertain clients that's ok, as long as it isn't tax-deductible. We have enough government intervention here, we need less, especially in terms of money.

Consider that Congress has given Major League Baseball an Anti-trust exemption. Let's make them earn it. Make MLB ONE company, period. One CEO, 30 district managers. Ok, the district managers can own and promote their own teams, and can be given SOME financial incentive to do so. BUT, the CEO takes a tax on EVERY dollar that any team makes, be it gate receipts, cable TV rights, concession stands, warm-up jackets, etc. The Yankees will always be more popular than the Royals will, and that's ok. But there's got to be SOME redistribution of wealth or the Royals will never compete. So 75 cents on every dollar goes to MLB, and then they divvy that up 31 ways (hey, the commissioner needs my, er, his cut too) and send it to the teams as next year's salaries. If a team can't live within that amount that's too bad. You can bank it until next year, but you can't borrow on the next one.

You probably don't need the whole thing to be even across the board, but you DO need it closer than it is now. I believe the above paragraph solves the sins of significantly unequal revenue from one spot to another, AND keeps teams from holding cities hostage, since it's always the teams on the bottom doing that.

Are their holes in the above? Probably. Do I care? Not until they make me commissioner, so I likely won't write anything on this again. The above postulates a real strong commissoner's office, and right now the owners don't have an incentive to have anyone but "Puppet" Selig there, but it HAS to happen that way.

As a last note, the observant of you who have known me for the last 41 years will note that this is a pretty damned socialistic solution coming from a free-market type. I re-create below a conversation I had on a plane with a complete stranger during the strike of '94:

HIM: Don't get me wrong, I'm a free-market guy and think the players ought to make all that they can.

ME: Ok Mr. Free-Market, let's say that you and I have just been given the keys to the next 2 expansion teams. Where are you going to put yours? What city?

HIM: Uh, um, er, well I guess I'd put it...

ME: I'm putting mine in New York City. (Quick head-turn my way from HIM) Sure. There's 15 million people in that market, that would make it 5 million each for me, the Yankees and the Mets.

HIM: But the Yankees and Mets would never let you put one there.

ME: Then it's not a free market, is it?

(STEVE to GOZ): I enjoyed reading your baseball rant. I had thought the economic inequality issue was fairly new until I saw the HBO special, ``When It Was a Game 2" in which they discussed this very issue in the context of the 30's and 40's. Ever wonder why the Washington Senators and St. Louis Browns never won pennants? It's not because they had perpetually bad scouting or poor managers. It's that the Yankees and Giants and Cardinals had so much more money in those days. They described a situation in which the Yankees went to one cash-strapped team and said, ``we want your third baseman, Kadiddlehopper." ``But he's the best player on our team!" ``We know," the Yankees replied, ``that's why we want him." And they got him, because the other team couldn't refuse the money. Remember the Curse of the Babe? Ruth went to the Yankees for six figures in cash - and a mortgage on Fenway Park! The Red Sox were so poor, they needed a loan on the ballpark just to stay afloat. Anybody who thinks this is a new phenomenon would be interested to read about this stuff.

(DESPER): Even though you tried to start a fight between me and Goz, I agree with everything he said this issue about baseball. The problem lies not, however, in the stadiums. The Yankees have a huge stadium that they hardly ever sell out. The problem is money. Which comes from television. In the NFL and NBA, TV money is split between teams, which then have very restrictive salary limits. Although this has not prevented the Clippers from always being terrible, these two leagues are generally more competitive than baseball is. Well, at least potentially. The NFL certainly is, as we saw with the instant successes in Carolina and Jacksonville. The NBA is only in a potential sense. In any given year, the distance between the top teams in the NBA and the bottom teams is much wider than it is in any other professional league in the US. But even a small-market team like San Antonio can win the championship. (Of course, the fact that there's a salary cap for the first three years helps a lot, since Tim Duncan was a 2nd year player last year.)

Baseball does not share revenue, which means that the big money franchises earn money which is an order of magnitude higher than what other cities make. I think Montreal's total revenue would not cover Pedro Martinez's salary. While I love the fact that he came to Boston, it is a sign of the market unfairness that he did. Most of the top-spending teams (Yankees, Mets, Braves, Red Sox, Indians, D-Backs) are in position to make the postseason. The notable exception is the Orioles. Oakland qualifies as small-market, and so would Cincinnati, but they might both miss the playoffs.

My only bone of contention is the idea that the Cubs are a small-market team. Chicago is the 3rd-largest city in the country, and while it has two teams, the Cubs get more support from fans with money than the White Sox do. They should certainly be able to keep up with Cleveland and Baltimore, and probably should be able to keep up with Atlanta. Their failure to do so I ascribe to general administrative incompetence. Also, Goz is missing a big factor in comparing the Cubs of last year and the Cubs of this year. Their failure this year has a lot more to do with the injury to Kerry Wood then it does to any structural problem which allows them only to compete only once every four years. Let's see how they do when Wood comes back next year.

(NOSTRADAMUS SPEAKS): The new France dies, saddled with the poor position crafted by his predecessor. Turkey dies a lingering death, after which Italy and Russia stab Austria, who dies quickly. England invades the Mediterranean in force, while Germany pours armies overland into Russia. Russia and Italy fend off the invaders for a time, until Italy sells Russia out for thirty pieces of silver and three Russian dots. The remaining three take Russia out, and then there's a big swirl of negotiations over who will be the odd man out. The game-long cooperation between Germany and England wins out, and Italy is victimized, eventually dyin-

Wait, this was supposed to be all cryptic and everything, right? Criminy. I can't believe I've fallen into literalism. Maybe I should just write operas - still lots and lots of brotherhood, treachery, and death. My favorite stuff, all rolled up into one package. Oh, well. I'm out of the Dip business for a while. You guys are on your own.

(VIRGINIA BEACH to BOARD): They drop the puck in two weeks, boys. Life begins again.

(FROM SOMEWHERE IN PARIS): The detective, brought in at the request of the German high command, looked at the paperwork on the desk in the former office of the French chief executive. He scowled, in that way that detectives can scowl at other people's problems and pretend that they've embraced them as their own. The clues were all too familiar though, and so the scowl was the same as it had been then, so many years ago in Constantinople. He'd been here too. He'd fled again, but to where? Once again, just beyond the grasp. He was good, this one, and he'd appear again. Where? When?

(TURKEY to AUSTRIA, ITALY, AND RUSSIA): So, it's gonna take all three of you brave warriors to take out little old Turkey, eh? All right, c'mon, puddem up, pudddemmmmm uuuuuuuup!

(AUSTRIA - ENGLAND): Funny, I've been pondering that myself. I suppose I'll know for sure after the results are in.



Turn 13

- F - I - N - A - L - - F - I - N - I - S - H - - L - I - N - E -
120 (no replenishment): Empty
119 (no replenishment): Empty
118 (no replenishment): Empty
117 (no replenishment): Empty
116 (no replenishment): Empty
115 (no replenishment): Empty
114 (no replenishment): Empty
113 (no replenishment): Empty
112 (no replenishment): Empty
111 (no replenishment): Empty
110 (no replenishment): Empty
109 (no replenishment): Empty
108 (no replenishment): Empty
107 (no replenishment): Empty
106 (no replenishment): Empty
105 (no replenishment): Empty
104 (no replenishment): Empty
103 (no replenishment): Empty
102 (replenish with a 4): Mopsy (Breaking Away!)
101 (no replenishment): Empty
100 (no replenishment): Empty
99 (no replenishment): Empty
98 (replenish with a 3): Alfred the Great
97 (replenish with a 4): John Logie-Baird
96 (replenish with a 5): Cottontail
95 (no replenishment): Empty
94 (replenish with a 3): Flopsy, Moe
93 (replenish with a 5): Peter, Shane the Chain
92 (replenish with a 7): Alessandro Cyclotron
91 (replenish with a 8): Stan Marsh
90 (replenish with a 9): Eric Cartman
89 (replenish with a 10): Kyle Broslofski
88 (replenish with a 11): Christoph Wheelhub, Shemp
87 (replenish with a 13): Bernard Spoke
86 (replenish with a 14): Curly
85 (replenish with a 15): Larry
84 (no replenishment): Empty
83 (replenish with a 3): Sir Isaac Newton
82 (replenish with a 4): Chasin' Jason
81 (replenish with a 5): Broke Leg Meg
- S - P - R - I - N - T - - F - I - N - I - S - H - - L - I - N - E -

67 (replenish with a 3): Damon Velodrome
66 (replenish with a 4): Barkin' Larkin'

54 (replenish with a 3): Will Shakespeare

Addresses of the Participants - Their Team and Their Cards

TEAM 1 (Farmer McGregor's Dinner): Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02492

(8 points) 72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

A: Flopsy 3 3 10 3
B: Mopsy 8 4 6
C: Cottontail 6 15 5
D: Peter 4 4 5

TEAM 2 (Chef's Crackers): Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY

(37 points) rick_desper of or desper of

Coach is, of course, Chef
A: Stan Marsh (aka the Star Quarterback) 6 7 8 8
B: Kyle Broslofski (aka the Lonely Jew) 10 11 5
C: Kenny McCormick (aka the Pov) Quaffing Brews
D: Eric Cartman (aka the FatAss) 12 9 4

TEAM 3 (Goz Transportation Co.): Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235

(9 points) gozcorp of

A: Alessandro Cyclotron 3 7 5 7
B: Bernard Spoke 13 4 4
C: Christoph Wheelhub 3 12 11
D: Damon Velodrome 3 3 3

TEAM 4 (Brit Pack): John Harrington, 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex, EN1 3UW UK

(17 points) johnh of or fiendish of

A: Alfred the Great 4 4 3 3
B: Sir Isaac Newton 18 3 3
C: Will Shakespeare 3 3 3
D: John Logie-Baird 4 4 9

TEAM 5 (The Stoogecycles): David Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033

(23 points) rebhuhn of

A: Curly 14 4 4
B: Larry 3 15 3
C: Moe 3 5 3
D: Shemp 3 5 11

TEAM 6 (The Flat Wheel Society): John Schultz, #19390, W-M11L, Indiana Department of Correction,

(4 points) Plainfield Correctional Facility, 727 Moon Road, Plainfield, IN 46168-9400

A: Broke Leg Meg 4 5 5
B: Shane the Chain 4 5 4
C: Barkin' Larkin' 3 4 4
D: Chasin' Jason 3 4 3

Game Notes:

1) David Partridge's new game start will start in Tinamou this issue. For the game here, send your team names and cards now!! This means: David Partridge, John Schultz, Tom Howell, Harry Andruschak, Eric Brosius, and John Harrington. We'll be playing Version 2.3 of the rules as published a few issues back. I think I have orders only from John Harrington and Tom Howell so far.... plus team name and rider names from Harry Andruschak!

2) Rule interpretation question..... now that Kenny has NOT been killed and has crossed the final finish line and left the course, can a NEW rider break away from the current pack?? My interpretation is YES. It could not have happened THIS turn, but it CAN happen next turn. Keep that in mind as you maneuver toward the finish.


(STOOGES - GM): I think we'll call this on the one that got away. Doesn't pay to get distracted. I'm not sure what I could have done, but there had to have been something better than this!

(DESIGNER - ALL): Remember the winner of this race gets a free copy of the face to face version of Breaking Away. Obviously it would be no fun at all were I to win the prize, which is why my play has been so crap in this game....

(GOZ TRANSPORTATION CO. QUARTERLY REPORT to THE PARENT COMPANY, GOZ & CO., INC.): Profits off $22M last quarter, only slightly written off with a minor acquisition. Staff continues to be cut. We don't believe that the riders have yet noticed that the chase vehicle was sold at auction and the music coming through their earpieces is on a continuous loop of Barry Manilow's Greatest Hits. The crystal ball reader was let go and replaced with the CEO's 7-year-old niece, who is calling the shots using the tried-and-true method of inviting all her beanie babies to a tea party and discussing it with them. We don't believe that we've ever had board meetings go this well before.


(BUNNIES-CHEF:) It's time for us to make a final desperate move. We don't want to wind up in the stew pot!

(MOPSY-FIELD:) Hop, hop.

(INVESTMENT BANKING COMMUNITY-GOZ): What you need to do is book a large non-recurring loss that actually includes most of your ongoing expenses, report a substantial improvement in ``operating profit", and change your team name to ``''. If you can see your way clear to making these small improvements in your business model, we will supply all the funds you may require.

(MOPSY-FIELD:) Hop, hop, hop.

(OPINION): There's no stopping Chef's Crackers.

(MOPSY-FIELD:) Hop, hop, hop, hop.

(GOZ to EVERYONE ELSE): Hello? Am I talking to myself out here again?

(BOOB to GOZ): Whole lotta barkin' goin' on.....

(DAMON to BARKIN'): Uh, you did play the `3' this time, didn't you? ((Yes, otherwise, you guys would have been stuck with the permanent threes. Now, he can play both fours, get ahead of you, and then you can get some fours, and so on.....))

(GOZ SECOND OBSERVATION ON THE ``BREAKAWAY'' RULE): Kenny would have had a 45 this time. By the time the 8th rider crosses the line he'd be at warp speed. Then he'd never be killed, as he'd be in a time-warp.

(GAME DESIGNER OPINES): As you probably know, Scotsman John Logie-Baird invented the television and yet Britain probably has the smallest range of TV channels of any of the major nations of the world. Furthermore, nobody makes televisions in Britain anymore. Strange that, isn't it? ((Interesting, I grew up in Schenectady, NY, where General Electric got its start and grew up with the propaganda that some GE scientists invented TV......))


International News: Green Cards Revoked! In a strange turn of events, the South Park Bureau of the U.S. State Department revoked the travel visas of all visitors from Britain. In a strange twist, the spokesman, Mrs. Broslofski stated ``especially those British visitors who have been dead for over 100 years! They're stinking up the streets, though we don't really mind if that theater guy Bill sticks around, he seems harmless."

Local News: Round Wheels Donated! Having heard the plight of the sorrowful ``Flat Wheel Society," the South Park Elementary School, under the organization the chef from its cafeteria, named Chef, has started a tire drive. ``Round Wheels for the Flat Wheel Society"! When asked about this sudden concern for a team which had been neglected throughout the race, Chef broke into a version of ``Little Red Corvette". The relevance escaped this reporter, who agrees that ``if it's Saturday night, I guess that makes it all right".

Drama section: Accident at Theater leaves cast scrambling Last night at the South Park theater, an accident occurred during rehearsal for the visiting Broadway Show ``Five Guys named Moe". A 40-lb sandbag fell from the rafters, seriously injuring one of the Moes. A small child in a large winter coat was seen running from the theater, but no identification was possible, since his winter coat was zipped up halfway across his face. Said Mr. Garrison, local host for the visiting troupe, ``Well, this really sucks, we need five guys named Moe, and we only have four! Where can we find another one?" When asked whether some other actor not named Moe could step in, Mr. Garrison developed a puzzled expression and said, ``But the name is `Five Guys named Moe', not `Four Guys named Moe and One Guy pretending to be named Moe'"

Classsifieds: Little Bunny Fufu, where are you? Female bunny sought for fun and excitement. Please report to 100 mile marker at the bike race. Lots of interesting male bunnies should be coming by soon! If you could perhaps distract one or two, the citizens of South Park will be tremendously grateful!

Food Section: Chef Whines Dammit! The South Park Movie was gone from the US theaters by the time I got back for a visit. And sure, it's #1 in England now but it wasn't out yet when I was there in July. Guess I've got to see it in Germany. ``O Mein Gott! Du hast Kenny umgebracht! Du Bastard!" Good news, the RTL network will start showing the programs here in a few weeks. But all my references will still be mostly from Season 1 for quite a while (probably until the end of this race.)

Movie Reviews: Blair Which? Got really scared for a viewing of the overhyped Blair Witch Project. Have to agree with former Kid on the Hall Scott Thompson, who said that Canadians are more used to camping and would not have gotten so scared at what was probably just a raccoon.

This reviewer's theory is that the ``witch" was just our beloved Scuzzlebutt, having fun with a few crazy teenagers. The wicker baskets and the Patrick Duffy voices you can hear in the background give it away.

Public Enemy said it best: Don't Believe the Hype!

FEAR AND WHISKEY: 1998Ers31, Modern Diplomacy



Spring 2000

BRITAIN (Schultz): f bel-NTH, f brn-LAP, a fin-STP, f MUR S f brn-lap, a NAV S GERMAN a auv,

f GOB S a fin-stp, f SAO S EGYPTIAN f mor-sog, f BIS S a nav, f MAO S a nav.

EGYPT (J. O'Donnell): f asw-RED, a ALE h, a lib-ALG, f mal-TUN, a MAC-ser,

a ada-IRN, f mor-SOG, a irn-KAZ, f EME C ITALIAN a izm-apu.

GERMANY (Rauterberg): a MUN-aus, a FRA-mun, a ham-RUH, f BHM-swe, a SWI S a mil-pie,

a AUS-mil, a lat-MOS, a LIT-lat, a CZE S a mun-aus, a BIE S a lat-mos, a kra-SLO,

a auv S a par-lyo (d r;par,bor,otb), a mil-PIE, f gda-PRU, a par-LYO,

f BAL-swe, a POD S a kra-slo.

ITALY (Ozog): a rom-TUS, a izm-APU, a CRO S a hun-aus, f tys-LIG, a VEN-mil,

f ION C a izm-apu, a MAR-swi, f GOL S SPANISH a bar-auv, a HUN-aus, f GRE h.

RUSSIA (Ellis): a mos S a stp-lat (d r:gor,orb), a stp-lat (d r:est,gor,otb),

a lap-swe (d r:nor,fin,otb).

SPAIN (S. O'Donnell): a MAD-nav, a SVE S a por, a POR S a mad-nav,

f GIB-sao, a bar-AUV, a and-BAR.

UKRAINE (Partridge): a sev-ODE, a ode-MOL, a kha-CRP, f ank-EBS, a ros-VOL,

a KIE S a kha-crp, f IST h, a GEO h, a RUM S a bul-ser, a bul-SER.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: John Schultz, #19390, W-M11L, Indiana Department of Correction,

Plainfield Correctional Facility, 727 Moon Road, Plainfield, IN 46168-9400

EGYPT: Jeff O'Donnell, 402 Middle Ave., Elyria, OH 44035-5728, (440) 322-2920 ($4)

FRANCE: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202 ($5)

GERMANY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

ITALY: Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138, (360) 691-4264 ($4)

ElfEric of

POLAND: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

RUSSIA: Randy Ellis, 1005 Kentucky #2N, Lawrence, KS 66044, (785) 838-9687

Randy1964 of

SPAIN: Sean O'Donnell, 126 S. Park, Oberlin, OH 44074, (440) 774-2928 ($5)

sean_o_donnell of, seanside of

TURKEY: Kent Pollard, 1541 W. San Jose, Fresno, CA 93711, (209) 225-0957 ($10)

UKRAINE: Dave Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033, (603) 882-3523 ($8)

rebhuhn of

Game Notes:

1) Check out the Modern Dip web page at: Cyberia/modern.htm


(THE MEKONS QUOTE OF THE MONTH): ``Fear and whiskey, I hold you tight.'' From ``Fear and Whiskey'' of the album of the same name.

(UKRAINE - TURKEY): We enjoyed our jousting with your fine soldiers and diplomats. Thank you for a most entertaining time. Please do come again, and rest assured that we will value and cherish your cultural treasures. Excuse us now, got to run and cherish a few houris!

(UKRAINE - RUSSIA): Well, you can take some consolation in the thought that your demise will be yet another shining example of international cooperation, continuing that fine tradition of sharing that began in Turkey.

(THE GREATER REICH to LESSER BEINGS (ALL OTHERS)): So you think that we are the largest and most threatening entity that you have witnessed in a while? Huh! Our Austrian brethren in the Colonia VII game ``Home Office" just built seven, bringing them to the total of 23 units on the board (a bit less than half of the winning total for that variant!). They are now roughly tied with the Netherlands, Ottomans, French and Chinese; most of the little guys are gone and the ``great war" looms....

(BERLIN to ROMA): Our dots in the hand are worth twice more than yours in the bush. This turn is for manouvering; the next brings you to your knees.

(HAMBURG to I/U/E): So what do you have planned for all those units in Turkey?

(ROME-LONDON): Join us against the Dark Side! It is not only your moral obligation but it will also be the most fun thing to do. The Evil Professor cannot stand up to all of us united-he would melt like the wicked witch he is.

(FRANKFURT to CAIRO): A fleet on the Red Sea? We're SCARED!

(SPAIN to ITALY): I hope you didn't forget, because by rule I cannot cut support against an attack against myself, but you can blow it away. ((He didn't forget, you made it!!))

(THE GREATER REICH to S/E): Nien, dummkopf, nien! If stabbing our British brothers is tantamount to inviting your forces into England, we must demur.... Stay in your cages like good morons, and allow us to go about our business as we see fit.

(KIEV): The Ukranian government announced today the first stages of the construction of the great Ukranian wall. A shining example of modern military triumph, in the tradition of the Maginot Line and the Great Wall of China, this fortified pipeline will run from the Adriatic Sea to the Caspian. Filled with the smoke from only the finest exports from the new Turkish provinces, the high pressure spigots will be capable of ``knocking whole armies silly in seconds". Ukranian soldiers are undergoing intensive training to build up their immunities through steadily increasing doses. Tourists are warned that this is a military installation and that someone within a hundred yards of them is liable to be shot if they wander into a restricted area.

SHOW ME THE MONEY: 1997Mea04, Colonial Diplomacy



Spring 1907

BRITAIN (York): a DEL-pun, a BEN-ass, f goa-ADEN, a KAG S a sik,

a KAR S a del-raj (nso), f RS S f goa-aden, f HK S f nan-can, f MAL-gos,

a SIK S a ben-ass, f PG S a kar, f BOB S DUTCH a sum-ran, a KAM-afg, f nan-CAN,

f BAN(EC) S f mal-gos.

FRANCE (Sasseville): f ANN S f gos, a yun-U.BUR, f GOS S f cam-ban, f CAM-ban,

f TON S JAPANESE f ecs-scs (nso), a can-MAY, a ran S a yun-u.bur (d r:n.sam,otb),

a hyd-BOM, a ASS-ben.

HOLLAND (Desper): f sul.s-SCS, f AS C a sum-ran, f scs-FOR, f js-SIO, f MP S f scs-for,

a sum-RAN, f SUN.S S f sul.s-scs, f LS S f scs-for.

JAPAN (K. Ozog): f ota-OS, a KYO h, a mac-SHA, a VLA h, f ECS S f sha-nan,

f sha-NAN, a, f UP-mp, f YS S a mac-sha, f SOJ h, a SEO S a

RUSSIA (Williams): a mos-BOK, a irk-MON, a afg-TAS, a PUN S a per-afg,

a mon-URU, a PER-afg, f med-EGY, a BAG-shi, a LAN S JAPANESE f sha-nan, a SHI-per,

a PEK S a irk-mon, a uru-KIR, a CHU-sik, f egy-MEC.

TURKEY (Tallman): a aden h (d r:ara,otb), f SUD h.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Andy York, PO Box 201117, Austin, TX 78720-1117

wandrew of

CHINA: Rich Goranson, 4351 Chestnut Ridge Road, #7 Amherst, NY, 14228-3227 ($5)

ForlornH of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($7)

roland6 of and ICQ: 40565030

HOLLAND: Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY (E-Mail)

rick_desper of or desper of

JAPAN: Kurt Ozog, 391 Wilmington Drive, Bartlett, IL 60103, 630-837-2813

kozog of

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (661) 297-3947 ($5)

wllmsfmly of

TURKEY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($0)

terryt of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) New proposals include a Russian concession, a RBHJ draw, and a HBRJ draw. Hey, those last two are the same, aren't they? Well, anyway, vote on them with your Summer orders. Failure to vote vetoes the proposals as usual.


(H - GM): Hey, we had no press at all last time, doesn't that mean the game is over?

(BOOB to DUTCH FACE): Yeah, but I wrote NONE in there to save you.....

(RUSSIA to JAPAN): Domo arigato ... unless you happen to be only the latest and greatest lying rat bastard to get into this game for the sole purpose of Tsar-bashing. (Wot? Me paranoid?) Seriously, we wish you well Ozog-san, and have graciously supported you as asked. ((A worm seems to have turned....))

(TSAR to BRIT): I tire of all this thrashing around in the center ... prepare to meet the true might of the Russian bear! I can not maintain a line from Egypt to Irkutsk, and so must shift to face the direst enemy. You, my friend, shall reel from the Cossack sabre stroke. Forward lads, for Romanov, Righteousness, and Russia!!! ((First thrusts seem quite effective.....))

(TURKEY): Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(TSAR - SULTAN): Wake up, Terry. There's a war on. You're still in it.

(BOOB to TOADFATHER): If you weren't the great Toadfather, I'd probably kick your butt right out of this game.....

(JAPAN - ALL): Sorry for the lack of negotiations. I will be switching career paths after next week so it's been kind of hectic. I will try and contact you all as soon as I can.

(RUSSIA to FRANCE): Louie, Louie, oh no ... yeah, we got to go, yeah-yeah-yeah ... hang on, Louie, Louie hang on. Russian forces are on their way to support you against the vile (not to mention unsavory) alliance of the Sinister Dutch Uncle (SDU) and the Foppish English Dandy (FED). As neither culture ever cooked a meal we'd care to eat, let's win this one for the wine, cheese and pastries you are sooooo delightfully good at.

(FRANCE): Just vote YES. ((To holding on to Canton??? Nay, nay, you didn't take the right vote....))

(H - F): J'accuse!

(LORD TSAR OF THE RUSSIAS to JAVAMAN): I am going to blast those stinking fleets of yours into the next hemisphere, my Dutch Uncle, just as soon as I figure out how to exit the stinking Mediterranean. ((You advanced one more place this turn, almost there.... he's coming to meet you from the South!))

(MOSCOW to BORNEO): By the way, Javabutt, my dearest friend, the Emperor God-King of Japan Kurtukawa Ozogsan, who as you know recently ascended the Throne of the Empire of the Rising Sun after the timely (and hopefully painful) passing of kidney stones forced Lukey-luke Dwyersan into early retirement, has asked me to inform you of his intent to mash you lie an overripe grape and to force you back into those smelly little rainforests from which you, millipede-like, have slithered.

(H(awkeye?) - BJ): Empty mailboxes make me sad. I'm going to go eat some honey. (Yes, Pooh is running things now, Kenny and the kids are still at the bike race.)

(ODESSAPHILE to GM-SKI): Could you send a massive spring flood into the area and help us clean out the rabble in the streets? We're overrun with old appartchiks, bureaucrats, old KGB agents and retired over-stuffed generals, (not to mention has-been chess champions) here in beautiful downtown Odessa, and are due for a thorough spring cleaning. Thanks. ((You have now given up complete control of the Railroad. Enjoy.....))

(CROWN OF RUSSIA to CROWN OF ENGLAND): Where are the crowns? Send in the crowns ... but seriously, ahem. I will run you from the continents of Africa, Europe and Asia if you insist on this unprovoked war of conquest, imperial slavery and colonial hegemony. Talk to me.

(H - COLUMBUS CHILL): Don't go!! Then we'll be at the back of the 'zine! ((Sorry, they're gone!! Gee, first time in a dog's age I haven't had an orphan game taking up the rear. Perhaps Michael will change that.... and that's all, folks!!!))

Personal Note to You:

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