April 19, 1999

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287

Accessible through Internet at burgess of; FAX to (401) 277-9904

``If duties are too high, they lessen the consumption; the collection is eluded; and the product to the treasury is not so great as when they are confined within proper and moderate bounds.'' Alexander Hamilton, from The Federalist Papers, no. 21. Yes, it seems that many of the Americans playing here have been consumed by taxes lately. We still have a pretty substantial issue. Pete Sullivan's subszine returns (yay!) after a lambasting from Conrad von Metzke who very much WAS affected by doing HIS taxes. And David Partridge is here, but just barely, after also struggling with his. I didn't do too badly, though I did pay an extra few dollars in taxes rather than spending time figuring out some savings in capital gains taxes. My time in figuring the savings wasn't worth the potential savings in taxes....

Ha, gotcha! This issue of the szine finally, really, goes out on time (well, to the players anyway....and if the copier copies....). After that long story last time about the publication of #215, I had an equally messy time with #216. This time, the copier broke down part way through the run and couldn't be fixed that day. Moreover, my schedule meant that I couldn't get back for a few more days after that. In a moment of sheer inspiration, I realized that the leftover copies (that they were just going to throw out and not make me pay for) was just precisely 20 copies of just the end of the szine - the games section. Thus, with careful and judicious rationing of pages, I could send the RESULTS of the games out to the players from those errant copies!! This was surprisingly easy to do. I never want to make a practice of it, but it did get the results in the players' hands in as speedy a timeframe as possible. I didn't hear much comment on it, but I hope it helped. I realize that without page numbers, it might have been pretty confusing.

The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada, a bargain at twice the price.... but you can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and future game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $20.00 ($15.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). Note the price increases for games, with the rates for subbing to the szine holding fixed for the moment. I'm not going to start any more new games (other than the Star Trek game) until some games end.

Check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch with all of the information you need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at:

Through Stephen Agar's (having recently taken this over from Jamie McQuinn) Postal portion of the Pouch:

the szine resides in html format. Presently, issues from #190 to the current issue are there, and I will be updating the back issues gradually in the near future.

The most recent issue also can be accessed through David Wang's and Pete Sullivan's web pages:

1) David has grabbed and reserved the HIGHLY prized name:!! His ``version'' of this szine is somewhat more html.friendly than the one I created, so please check it out. David Wang's site also allows you to follow John Caruso's postal baseball league that I am in.

2) Pete Sullivan is back!!! For the latest information and the most recent issue of Pete's subszine check out:

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!!


Bernie is still the feature here until issue #220. Come on, do any of you need the hint.... you might find him by searching for the last name Tretick.... why might that be? Who knows....

This is a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Garret Schenck or Jerry Lucas or Al Pearson is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him. Go for these guys again. Perhaps some of them now can be located via the Internet where they weren't when you looked before. Currently, ``Jim Burgess" brings 483 hits on AltaVista, I think twice as many as the last time I checked. A UNH student by my name is doing some song parodies that actually look kinda neat. The first one that is actually me is on Jamie McQuinn's web page (!!) at number 16. Jamie is still around (see below) but I hadn't imagined that his web page was still up, last updated about a year ago it appears. At number 18 (and also at 25), the first of my editorial publications pops up, but surprise, surprise, it IS NOT this one. It's the professional organization newsletter that I co-edit. (once an editor, always an editor) Coming in at 21 is a dinky little strategy article I once wrote on how to play France in Colonial Diplomacy that's on the Swedish Diplomacy homepage. Check it out, Roland!! Then, at 26, the first reference to TAP pops up, but not a direct link. It's the listing on the Mission from God web page, ably edited by John Harrington, which is the szine listing for the Brit hobby. One of my Diplomacy World articles comes in at 33 - in fact, it is my FAVORITE DW article and most frequently commented on to this day: ``In Search of the Cult of Personality Part 4 - Why I am a Christian (and a Diplomacy player)" And, then, finally, the TAP page itself comes in at 38! I didn't look at all 438 entries.... the other ones that I don't mention are to other Jim Burgesses. Anyway, it can't be that difficult to find some of these people as the Web keeps expanding....

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, finance a web page, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for. This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.


The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 3UW, UK (johnh of or JHarrington of The representives in Australia (John Cain, PO Box 4317, Melbourne University 3052, AUSTRALIA) or Belgium and some other European countries (Jef Bryant, Rue Jean Pauly, 121, B-4430 ANS, BELGIUM) also will forward your subscription on to the editor in either Australian dollars or continental European currencies respectively. Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

A VERY light discussion is taking place that will address what stance we (the hobby) should take (proactive in some way for sure) toward Hasbro, the new owners of the rights to Diplomacy. More on this will be forthcoming, but it looks like Hasbro might have its version of Diplomacy on the market for the Christmas season and they actually will be employing ``play-testers''. No word on precisely what this means yet, could it mean that they will offer a series of ``official'' variants? Stay tuned.... If you want to be part of the discussion, send the MESSAGE:

subscribe hasbro

to majordomo of, it works just like the tap mailing list described below. Sending messages to hasbro of sends the mail to the whole list.

The game Diplomacy is a copyrighted product owned by Hasbro and all reproductions or other use of that material in this szine is intended to be personal use and not infringe on those rights in any way. All reproductions are done at a heavy financial loss to the editor and thus are without the remotest possibility of commercial intent, except to promote THE game, the Game of Diplomacy, which you all should purchase from Hasbro or other duly licensed distributors.

I, too, should say something about the latest Diplomatic Incident in Boston. Then I found myself hoping that David Partridge would say something about it. Well, at least I am saying more than he did. We had a solid two boards (precisely, what luck!) and were energized by the presence of then reigning World Champion Chris Martin. Chris is a lot of fun, even if he has a tendency to give movie spoilers in public ;-) But, Chris is Reigning World Champion no longer, so first up, some things from Namur.... that I grabbed off of

David Norman (Thu, 8 Apr 1999 18:05:11 -0400)

For those of you who couldn't make WDC, a bit of chat and news.

For me, the weekend started with a trip on Eurostar from London to Brussels. With 16 of us on the train for three hours, it was fairly predictable that a game of Gunboat Dip would happen, and just to add to the feel of it, we played on the Frencha board. In amongst the 16 of us were Chris Martin, and his wife, Mary. We gave Chris an appropriate introduction to playing Dip at WDC as the reigning World Champion. He was the first to be eliminated.

On the Saturday was the first round of the Diplomacy. 15 boards and 105 players. Of them, only 10 were eliminated by the 1907 finishing point. Also in just 7 years, Vincent Mous had managed to reach 16 as Austria, which as far as I am aware, was the largest country in any game in the tournament.

Sunday saw two more rounds of Dip, after which the top board was decided. Dave Horton (UK) was the only player to get two top-of-boards, and so had the highest score, despite the elimination in his third game. He played France on the top board, and was joined by Ivan Woodward (UK) as Turkey, Duncan Adams (UK) as Italy, Leif Bergman (Swe) as Austria, Christian Dreyer (Swe) as Germany, Nicholas Perez (Swe) as Russia, and Vincent Mous (Canada) as England. Apologies to anybody whose name has suffered from my spelling.

Monday morning saw the Dip meeting, which broke down into four main points. Not in chronological order, they were :

(1) Baltimore was confirmed as the venue for WDC X next year. Foreign players will be accomodated and play for free - all you have to pay for is to get there.

(2) Bids for WDC XI were put in from England (probably Oxford), France (Paris) and Sweden/Denmark (Copenhagen). The French bid was far more thought out and prepared than the other two, and was the worthy winner. The other bidding countries obviously agreed that they should not win, as the Swedish votes alone would have put the Con in England, and the English votes alone would have put it in France.

(3) An introduction to the bid for Canberra, Australia, in 2002 was given. WDC XII would be held at the RSL in Canberra, where the Australian National Championships are held every year. It would be held at Easter. Bids for 2002 will be made formally at WDC X in Baltimore next year. More information about the Australian bid can be found at .

(4) Edi Birsan gave some details of what is happening within Hasbro w.r.t. Diplomacy. Basically, they will be bringing out a board game and a computer game. They hope to sell a huge number of these - more than have been sold in the entire 35 or so years to date, within 12 months. They are also happy with the current situation with Zines, Judges, etc, and have no intention to try and stop the use of these in the future.

After the meeting was the final round of the Dip. On the top board, a strong opening by Russia saw him become the early leader. And then as you would expect, he was attacked by everybody, and so ended the game on 1 sc. The board was won by Christian, ahead of Leif and then Ivan.

Finally was the prizegiving. Amongst the lesser prizes, most of which got a bottle of Belgium Beer, were Vincent Mous as best Tactician (or was it best Strategist ?). Chris Martin won the award for the player who people most enjoyed playing with, and Toby Harris got most Machiavellic Player, for which he won a bottle of Water - they stabbed him back in the end.

So, next year it is Baltimore. I hope to see everybody there, including maybe some new players too. If you have not been to a Con before, I can not recommend it too highly. Give it a go. Even if you don't know anybody before you go, you sure will by the time you leave.

David, David of

Rick Desper (Wed, 07 Apr 1999 12:49:35 GMT)

WDC IX is over and we have a new champion: Christian Dreyer of Sweden.

Congratulations to Christian.

To those of you who want to see Christian in action (as well as Chris Martin, the outgoing champion, and a number of other renowned players) you may observe the action in the demo game Ruffians, which is about to start on the FROG judge: judge of ((Has now started.... Chetan Radia also is in the game from below.))

I have been told that a more complete report will be available at the Namur website:

((Here are some salient stats:


1) Christian Dreyer (SWE)

2) Leif Bergman (SWE)

3) Ivan Woodward (GBR)

4) Tie between Simon Magnusson (SWE) and Thomas Sebeyran (FRA)

6) Chetan Radia (GBR)

7) Per Larsson (SWE)

8) Dave Horton (GBR)

9) Simon Bouton (GBR)

10) Tanguy Le Dantec (FRA)

11) Tie between Vincent Mous (CAN) and Duncan Adams (GBR)

13) James Hardy (GBR)

14) Toby Harris (GBR)

AMERICANS) Edi Birsan (24), Chris Martin (34), Rick Desper (39), Dan Mathias (44), Larry Peery (85).))

Paris won the bid for WDC XI. Their bid was well-presented, and they have chosen to hold the convention in February, to minimize the travel costs for those of us who will have to fly overseas. They've promised exemption of fees for those living abroad, cheap housing, and, perhaps most importantly, the opportunity to visit Paris. There are not many cities in the world which can match up with Paris - I encourage American dippers to make the trip.

Edi Birsan presented the Hasbro situation. The new board will be with the cannons and ships, as in the pictures with Curt Schilling. Hasbro's intention is to produce a computer version of Diplomacy, which they anticipate will sell well. Computer games sell far more many units than board games, so when the Hasbro computer game is released, we could see a massive expansion of interest in this game.

I'll address some of the points which have been raised here, as answered by Edi:

Q: Will Hasbro discontinue Diplomacy?

A: Hasbro spent $4 million to buy AH primarily for Acquire and Diplomacy. They are certainly not going to discontinue Dip. They see an untapped market with this game.

Q: What about Gibson games, and other licensees?

A: Hasbro does its own distribution. The licenses will be recalled.

Q: What about the Judges?

A: Hasbro does not have any plans to stop the Judges. (my comment - they can say this now and change their minds later.) The main point here is that Hasbro loves the r.g.d. readership since we are their clientele. They want to work with us to develop the hobby (and thereby their marketplace).

If you think about how businesses work, you know that Hasbro will try to work with us. ((Which I also have been saying right along...))

Q: What about Colonial Dip?

A: Hasbro will develop a few variants, but Colonial looks to be a back-burner project. Those of us who have played the game will not be too upset. Colonial is at best a middling variant. Hasbro plans to develop Escalation and also Power Diplomacy. The former is apparently an established variant (?) while the latter will be a dumbed-down version more appropriate for the mass market. ((Yeah, I don't think I will ever run another game of Colonial here. Especially with variants like Colonia and Modern around to play....))

The main point of Edi's presentation is that Hasbro is the White Knight in this situation. AH would have gone out of business without the buyout. AH did not do very much at all with Diplomacy for the past 10 years or so. They really missed the boat in terms of figuring out how to use the Internet to promote the hobby. Hasbro is not going to make the same mistake.

Apparently the main market that Hasbro sees is single-player play. In other words, they are spending a lot of time and money trying to develop a reasonable AI program so a player can play alone. I am not particularly hopeful for this idea, but if a large number of people learn how to beat a weak AI program, one presumes that these people will seek the challenge of playing against actual people.

There is going to be an article in Computer Gaming World which will explain the whole Hasbro issue in depth.

Rick, rick_desper of

((Some people asked about Rick Desper mentioning Curt Schilling and we got.... Jody McCullough saying: ``He was in a picture, which was part of a press release about some OTHER games, but lo and behold the board in front of him is, in fact, Diplomacy, complete with cannons and ships which look very much like the same two pieces from Monopoly. Except they're plastic. Can't say I was impressed by the board, the pieces, the colors, the box, or the general presentation. But I'm sure they did some marketing research, and my tastes are not the same as the `general public'.''

And then....))

Tommy Larsson (Wed, 7 Apr 1999 22:37:37)

And for all those who of some strange reason don't know were to look for this picture it is located at: :)

Tommy, tk.larsson of

((And it is a pretty neat picture, I think. Now, the other big issue was Larry Peery's comments on archives. Here are a few follow ups:))

Fred C. Davis, Jr. (April 12, 1999)

Dear Larry, I haven't been in touch with you for about two years, as I'd been informed that you were virtually out of the Diplomacy hobby. ((This is not at all true, since Larry has continued to be the most consistent American in trying to organize Americans to go to European World Dip Cons [as he did again very recently!].))

First, let me say that I couldn't take the Archives, even if I wanted to. I don't have $2200 lying around to use, and I live in an apartment with no room for 70 boxes of zines. However, I would be glad to participate in a group operation to move and save the Archives. You will recall that I put up $200, to save and move the Hoosier Archives from Lebanon, Indiana to Dayton, Ohio, where they are in the care of Jamie McQuinn. This was about half of the funds raised to transport the Hoosier Archives by rental truck. As the final cost came to about $300, thanks to the generousity of the guys who volunteered to drive to Lebanon in their own truck, I eventually received a refund of $50. I also had the satisfaction of seeing those files relocated to a safe place.

Little did we know that Jamie would move from Rubicon St. to Stroyer Rd., and, some two years later, fold his zine and virtually drop out of the hobby. I wrote to him a couple of times, and he did assure me that the Hoosier Archives were safe, and in his possession. However, I don't know whether anybody still asks for material from the Archives, or visits him to see them.

I believe that Jim Burgess' suggestion that the Original Hoosier Archives and your Dip Archives be merged is the best solution. Since Jamie's occupation is that of a librarian, it would seem that he would be the most likely person to take possession, until such time as Jamie could persuade some college to accept these files, and have them properly catalogged.

So, let's think in terms of organizing an ad hoc committee to see about this. You would have to be in charge, of course. I no longer have a list of all of the people who participated in the rescue of the Hoosier Archives, besides Jamie and myself. I'd want to be a participant, of course. Walt Buchanan might have a complete list, and I'd think Jamie McQuinn would also have a list. I can't imagine any single individual offering to pay the entire shipping costs or offering to store the Archives in his home, although we can always hope for miracles.

In any case, please don't just throw your Archives out. I think that we can work something out, but it may take some time. I believe it may be necessary for you to contact nearly every current publisher in North America, plus, perhaps some of the Old Timers who've folded, to work up enough interest in this project. Accordingly, I shall send copies of this letter to Jim Burgess and Jamie McQuinn, to get the ball rolling.

Best regards, Fred Davis, Jr., 3210-K Wheaton Way, Ellicott City, MD 21043

((And I have printed that letter here and the following response from Jamie to continue to keep the ball rolling. Pete Gaughan, who was Chairman of the earlier group, may also want to weigh in.))

Jamie McQuinn (Mon, 19 Apr 1999 15:47:54 -0500 (EST))


The Hoosier Archives are safe and sound in my basement. It is ultimately my goal to find a university archive somewhere that might like to take them. Unfortunately the recent events in my life (divorce two years ago, marriage planned for this fall, a pending child custody dispute, job change and promotion) have taken up most of my attention. I have no interest in taking on the responsibility for Larry Peery's collection (not enough room either). I also find it laughable (sorry Larry) that he thinks any one would pay anything for those backissues except a recycling mill. And if he thinks the Hobby is going to raise funds for their preservation, he shouldn't hold his breath. When we tried to raise $2000 to move the Hoosier Archives from Indiana to Pete Gaughan in California, we were only able to raise a couple hundred (from about a dozen people, most of it coming from Fred Davis).

Good luck, Larry. I hope you find a buyer, at the very least find someone to take them, and I hope you do not throw them out right away. If only a fraction of what you have said about the Hobby and the importance of its archives is true, then you will at least wait until someone steps forward to take over.

Jamie, ads_jamie of


It is still time to send in your ``best of 1998'' lists. Give it to me anyway you want to - a top 10, a couple of favorites, a list, an essay, whatever - the classic is to tell me your top singles, top albums, and best concerts of the year, but you are the boss. Don't wait too long though because I want to move into the party tape issues pretty quickly. I plan to have my list in... well the time after NEXT time.


This section is developing a list of the great party singles of the century. You'll get a definite sense of quirky before we're done. You'll also get a sense of timelessness. I'll assume that I'll also get some comments from some of you. I'm going to set a slate of only 10 - that's just ONE more from what is below and then DEMAND votes from you out there to fill the rest of the slots. The Bullpen voting system I am envisioning will work like this: you each get ten votes which you can allocate across as few as two songs (5 votes apiece) or as many as ten songs (1 vote for each). You can allocate your ten votes any way you want, but you can't put any more than five votes on any one song. You also get ONE B-52 song vote (although you can add votes from your main allotment if desired) and THREE Drug Song votes which will be held in a separate category. The other ``special'' bullpens must be voted on from your main allotment of votes. I decided that I WILL print running totals and print the names of the people who have voted. Also, you guys wrote some great stuff about the songs, so I've printed that too! Write-ins will be permitted, but are unlikely to win. I know I have lost some suggestions that aren't in the bullpen lists below, so feel free to mention 'em again! Everything that started in the bullpen started with one vote.

To encourage voting early, five voters at random will receive five US dollars from me (either in cash or paid to someone for Dip stuff). I will take these voters at random every other issue, starting with this issue, and draw one randomly, so early voters get FIVE chances to win, but no one will be allowed to win twice. I'm also giving the round one voters below five chances in said drawing, those in the second round four, and so on, to more heavily penalize the chances of those last minute voters and reward these pioneers! That should do it!! Mike Barno wins five dollars for this issue's prize. Prizes also will be awarded in issues 217, 219, 221, and 223. Voters thus far through Round 1 are Mike Barno($5), Rick Desper, Tony Dickinson, Drew James, Heath Gardner, and John Harrington. Round 2 postal voters are John Schultz ($5) and Stan Johnson. John wins the second prize and in future drawings Stan will have five chances, just as the Round 1 voters. I also simply do not have time to organize all of the votes this issue, so it also will have to wait until one more issue. This has been a rough couple of months keeping the szine together, sorry about that.....

We'll end up with a monster party tape at the end of it that I plan to segue and sequence and copy for distribution. The result will be a great New Millenium party tape. I've also been thinking that I should put this out on CD as truly emblematic of the new millenium. I don't have the capability to do that quite yet, but I think I might by then. Any suggestions (or especially volunteers) on this front will be cheerfully accepted and could receive monetary payments!

So far, we have ``I Melt With You'' by Modern English; George Gershwin's ``I got Plenty O' Nuttin' '' from Porgy and Bess in the 1957 concert recording with Ella Fitzgerald finishing off the vocals after Louis Armstrong blows and sings through the tune; Duke Ellington performing Billy Strayhorn's ``Take the A Train''; Frank Sinatra's ``New York, New York''; something from the B-52's; the original Van Morrison and Them version of ``Gloria''; The (English) Beat's 12 inch version of ``Save It for Later'' ratchets things up to the next level (wherever you put it!); Buster Poindexter's ``Hot, Hot, Hot'' keeps you there; ``Atomic Dog'' by George Clinton blows the doors off, and Koko Taylor cleans up singing Willie Dixon's ``Wang Dang Doodle''.

EXTRA SPECIAL B-52'S BULLPEN: (3) ``Love Shack''. (2)``Planet Claire''; ``Give Me Back My Man". (1) ``Rock Lobster"; ``Dance This Mess Around"; ``Private Idaho''; ``Deadbeat Club''; NONE.

BULLPEN: (7) ``Cumberland Blues'' - the Grateful Dead; Nirvana - ``Smells Like Teen Spirit". (5) ``Mannish Boy" - Muddy Waters. (4) Lou Reed - ``Sweet Jane''; ``Twistin the Night Away" - Sam Cooke; ``Shake, Rattle, & Roll" - Big Joe Turner; Devo - ``Whip It". (3) ``Dancing With Myself'' - Billy Idol's Gen X; B Movie - ``Nowhere Girl"; ``Add It Up'' - Violent Femmes. (2) ``Fire on the Mountain'' - the Grateful Dead; Squeeze - ``If I Didn't Love You"; Violent Femmes - ``Blister in the Sun"; ``Jambalaya" - Hank Williams; ``party at ground zero'' by fishbone; Green Day - ``Basket Case''; ``Train In Vain'' - The Clash; ``I Wanna Be Sedated" - Ramones; ``Magic Mountain" - the Animals; ``Pass the Dutchie" - Peter Tosh; ``Lithium'' - Nirvana; ``Rocking the Casbah'' - The Clash. (1) ``Walk This Way'' - Run-DMC; ``Roadrunner'' - Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers; ``Roadrunner'' - the Animals; Strunz and Farrah - ``Americas''; Clarence ``Gatemouth'' Brown - ``Up Jumped the Devil''; David Bowie - ``Fame''; ``Tweedle Dee'' by Lavern Baker; ``Been Caught Stealing'' - Jane's Addiction; ``Hard to Handle'' - Black Crowes; ``Birth-day'' - Suzanne Vega; Doors - ``Road House Blues"; Cure - ``In between days"; Little Richard - ``Rock Island Line''; Bangles - ``Hazy Shade of Winter"; ``Magic Carpet Ride" - Steppenwolf; Go-Go's - ``Our Lips are Sealed"; Peter Frampton - ``Do you feel like we do"; Led Zeppelin - ``Hey, Hey what can I do"; Three Dog Night - ``Shambala"; ``Party Train'' - Gap Band; ``Proud Mary'' - Ike and Tina Turner; Concrete Blonde - ``Still in Hollywood"; ``The Pusher" - Steppenwolf; ``Revolution" - the Beatles; ``Locomotion" - Little Eva; ``Want Ad Blues" - John Lee Hooker; ``Give the Dog a Bone" - AC/DC; ``I Feel Good" - James Brown; ``In the Mood" - Glenn Miller; ``Chain of Fools" - Aretha Franklin; ``Twist & Shout" - Beatles; ``What I Like About You" - Romantics; ``And We Danced" - Hooters; ``Particle Man" - They Might Be Giants; Erasure - ``River Deep, Mountain High"; Public Enemy - ``Bring Tha Noize (w/Anthrax)" ``All Along the Watchtower" - Jimi Hendrix's KISS THE SKY version of Bob Dylan's song); ``One Love" - Bob Marley.

SPECIAL GEORGE CLINTON BULLPEN: (2) ``I Just Wanna Testify''; ``Flash Light''. (1) Prince - ``Bob & George"; ``Let's Take It to the Stage'', ``The Pinocchio Theory''.

SPECIAL MILLENNIUM BULLPEN: ``1999'' - Prince; ``Disco 2000'' - Pulp. These songs are officially INELIGIBLE FOR THE TAPE!!!

SPECIAL ROLLING STONES BULLPEN: (6) ``Paint It Black''. (3) ``Satisfaction". (1) ``Jumpin' Jack Flash", ``Get Off of My Cloud'', ``Sympathy for the Devil''.

SPECIAL TALKING HEADS BULLPEN: (2) ``Take me to the River". (1) ``The Great Curve'', ``Life During Wartime'', the entire Speaking in Tongues record.

SPECIAL ALPHABET SONG BULLPEN: (1) ``YMCA" - Village People; ``MTA" - Kingston Trio.

SPECIAL DRUG MUSIC BULLPEN: (5) ``Casey Jones'' - the Grateful Dead. (4) ``Red, Red Wine'' - UB40. (2) The Toys - ``Smoke Two Joints''; ``Don't Bogart that Joint'' - Fraternity of Man; ``Easy Skanking" - Bob Marley; ``Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll'' - Ian Dury and the Blockheads; entire Animals album - Pink Floyd. (1) ``Cocaine'' - Eric Clapton's version; ``Panama Red'' - New Riders; ``Smoke, Smoke, Smoke (That Cigarette)'' - Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen; ``I'm an Okie from Muskogee'' - Merle Haggard; ``Legalize It'' - Peter Tosh; ``Heroin'' - Lou Reed and Velvet Underground; ``The Drugs Don't Work" - The Verve; ``Old Red Eyes is Back" - Beautiful South; ``Hemp, for Victory''; ``Sinsemilla" - Black Uhuru; ``The Old Dope Peddler'' - Tom Lehrer; Hawkwind - ``LSD''; ``Hassan I Sahba''(Hashish) - Hawkwind; Sisters Of Mercy - ``Amphetamine Logic''; ``The Needle and the Damage Done'' - Neil Young; ``More Songs about Chocolate and Girls'' - The Undertones; Pink Floyd - ``Obscured by Clouds''; Stranglers - ``Golden Brown''; Levellers - ``Just the One''; New Model Army - ``Heroin''; Magic Mushroom Band - ``Ditto Skunk''; Thin Lizzy - ``Whisky in the Jar''.

Scott Morris (Thu, 1 Apr 1999 19:56:35 EST)

Jim, Secondly, I was pretty close on my initial assesment of the millenium CD. You can purchase CD's over the internet at about $1 to $1.50 a piece. So you are right. It may be cheaper. ((My understanding is that you have to do something copyright breaking and fairly underhanded to use CHEAP CD's and record one CD and then copy it into multiple copies. Something is coded into commercial CD's to attempt to prevent ``commercial marketing'' of the music. I'm sure I could easily find out details on millions of web sites. At this moment, I am inclined to go with the tapes.))

I was correct about the time. 74 minutes per CD. 16 to 18 tracks of average length songs. ((Yeah, and I was planning to do 90 minute tapes, which get 20-22 songs. If I did it as a CD, it would have to be a two CD set.))

It also needs real time copying. Making the master is a bit tough since you need to swap the CD's out but after you have the master it should be a piece of cake.

I have access to a computer buddy who helps me operate my computers :) without his help I would still be using a stone tablet and hammer. He is interested in your project and may help if you need it.

Your Chum, Scott, ScottM221 of

((I'm definitely still interested. I would pay your buddy real money to be a consultant, since I want the product to come off right. It would be my contribution to the millenium. But I want to be clear on legalities and technical possibilities. I had understood if you ``break the copyright'' you get one giant ``song'' with no break marks too. Anyway, I'm still just speculating. We'll nail this down.))

Drew James (Fri, 16 Apr 1999 20:26:39 -0400)

Jim, A music note. I see that Electronic has released a new album in England and Japan. I have heard it is outstanding, but I have only heard one single myself. Of course, the only reviews I have read are from rabid New Order fans like myself. I guess New Order is heading into the studio this fall and hope to have a new album out early next year.

Drew, dkbn of

Mark D. Lew (Mon, 12 Apr 1999 21:38:12 -0700)

You might want to get in the habit of calling me ``Mark D. Lew". It's not essential, but it's the only way I've ever said it in the past eight years or so, and there are people out there who barely even recognize my name without the D. ((No problem, consider it done. Note the press item below that mentions you and that game with Dick Martin....))

``Taking one for the team", as you colorfully put it, is precisely the sort of thing that Serbian nationalism prides itself on, as is clearly seen in any of the poems from the Kosovo song cycle. About a week ago I went public as a ``Balkan scholar", so to speak, putting up translations of the Kosovo songs up in a corner of my web site. I wish I could have offered a more thorough translation, but I couldn't find anything else in the public domain. ((And that's what they're doing. I don't see any way that bombing alone forces them to give up, ever. Well, ever is a long time, but longer than we have the patience for.))

It's really odd to get into conversations about Kosovo these days, in which I am simultaneously more informed and less informed than the average person. I continue to pay little or no attention to the news, so I'm not at all familiar with what is going on there right now with regard to bombing and NATO etc. But at the same I'm thoroughly versed in medieval Balkan history, and I also have a passing knowledge of post-Ottoman history (which is to say, I know it better than most people).

As a matter of fact, the history of medieval Serbia has virtually no relevance to what is going on in Serbia today, unless you count modern Serbs' fascination with the historically inaccurate body of myth found in poems such as the aforementioned. In the context of discussing American involvement in Serbia today the only people who invoke medieval history are those people who really don't know the first thing about medieval Serbia (which is to say, almost everybody) nor what really happened on Kosovo plain in 1389. If you hear someone on TV mention the ``ancient ethnic rivalries" or ``centuries-old hatreds", or ``complicated issues dating back to the xth century" where x is any number from about 8 to 16, you can figure that's just a code word for ``I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, but gee, I sure sound smart". ((I agree, though these things are relevant concerning the character of the peoples of the region, this is pretty nonsensical stuff. I haven't been paying much more attention to the news than you have. What I have heard about it, I've heard almost entirely from the BBC. Today, as I type this, their Indian anchorperson whose name I can't spell was questioning one of their reporters on the scene, who FINALLY admitted that the Macedonian people are worried about refugees destabilizing their political situation. Well, duh! That's the main reason we're dropping bombs in the first place. If you replace Macedonia with an ocean, have retreats into Montenegro and Albania the only ones possible for the Kosovo Albanians, then we let the situation run its course without bombing. No question, no doubt. PERIOD.))

Funny, I feel like I'm repeating myself. Didn't I write almost the exact same thing in Benzene about eight years ago? Now THERE's your history lesson.... ((Yup, and we talked about Macedonia as being the end of the line then too.))

The news media is predictable. Here, I'll save myself some time and pontificate now about next month's news story. Milosêvi\'c has for many years favored a strong central government, and since he's been president there have been minor wranglings between him and local governments. If the NATO effort does physical and economic damage to the country (which I gather is what's going on now) it could exacerbate these differences and there could be some sort of significant power struggle between Montenegro and Belgrade. ((Though I don't see that we are seriously concerned about the relations between Montenegro and Belgrade....))

This will be an interesting development and the details will be of relevance to the question of Milosêvi\'c 's ability to stay in power in Serbia. Some journalists will have the sense to report it thus, and some readers will have the patience to read about it. When it becomes ``headline news", however, no doubt some nitwit journalist will happen to notice that on all maps prior to 1945, ``Montenegro" is shown in a different color. On that basis he and his colleagues will proceed to ``enlighten" their audiences about this hitherto undiscovered ``ethnicity", and suddenly we'll all be hearing about how the imperialist Serbs are are occupying this foreign nation.

Don't be fooled. Montenegro is simply that part of Serbia which remained independent from the Ottoman empire. There are enough genuine nationalities in the Balkans without inventing any new ones. The people who live in Montenegro are Serbian. That doesn't mean they shouldn't guard their rights against a heavy-handed central government, but the conflict will not be one of ethnicity, nor even of religion or nationality; it will be a political struggle among Serbs. ((Which we don't and shouldn't bother interfering in.))

(And Lord help us if someone happens to see a map from the years when the sanjak of Novi Pazar was an autonomous region....)

mdl, markdlew of

John Harrington (Tue, 20 Apr 1999 18:29)

Jim, Now, you asked me to try and explain why Anil Kumble taking all ten wickets in a single innings was a particularly significant even in cricket. I'm by no means a cricket buff but I'll have a go.

First off, a little bit of explanation about the basics of cricket.

There are 11 players to each side, and each side has 2 innings in a match. When one side is batting it has 2 batsmen out on the field (one each end of the 22-yard long batting track - analogous to the distance from the pitcher's mound to the plate), whilst the fielding team has all 11 players fielding.

Of the 11 fielding players, typically 4 will be specialist bowlers (analogous to pitchers), one will usually be an ``all-rounder" (someone good at batting and bowling), plus there may be one or two other players who can ``turn their arm over" (i.e. they can bowl reasonably well but their main role is to give the frontline bowlers a rest or to lure the opposition batsmen into playing recklessly).

Now, unlike in baseball where you have one pitcher who throws all the pitches until such time as he is relieved, in cricket the bowling duties are rotated among the specialist bowlers out on the field (no bullpens allowed!)

The fielding side is trying to get 10 of the opposition's 11 batsmen out for as few runs as possible. As in baseball, a team's innings can vary considerably in duration but typically in an international match it takes around 600 deliveries to get 10 batsmen out.

Anil Kumble (remember him?) is a slow bowler who relies on the ball spinning awkwardly when it bounces in front of the batsman. ``Spin bowling" does not require as much physical exertion as fast bowling so it is quite possible that Kumble (his side's best bowler) bowled a good proportion of his side's 600 or so deliveries (note that each bowler may only bowl 6 deliveries in a single spell before another bowler has to bowl 6 deliveries from the other end of the batting track, so it is not possible for him to have bowled more than half his team's deliveries).

Even so, it is unlikely that Kumble bowled more than 200 deliveries out of about 600. Even spinners' fingers get tired!

So, what is unusual about his achievement is that whilst his colleagues probably bowled twice as many deliveries as he did, they failed to get any batsmen out whereas he managed to get all ten.

Add to this the fact that in cricket it often happens that not all ten batsmen are bowled out. For one thing, in cricket when the batting side feels they have enough runs on the board they declare their innings over even if they still have batsmen waiting to come in to bat.

(Digression: Why would they do this? Because an international cricket match ``only" lasts 5 days and if at the end of the five days the side which is batting has not surpassed the opposition's score, the match is a draw. Hence a team will often terminate its own innings to give it more time to bowl the opposition out.)

One other thing to explain is when a bowler gets credit for taking a wicket. Here are the normal ways of getting a batsman out:

Bowler hits the wicket. (A wicket is 3 sticks, about thigh height, stuck in the ground. Resting on the top of the sticks -= called ``stumps" - are two other bits of wood, called ``bails". These are about 4 inches long, so a wicket is about 8 inches wide. If the bails are dislodged by a bowler's delivery the batsman is out). The bowler will get the credit for getting a batsman out this way.

Batsman hit own wicket. (Sometimes a batsman will knock down his own wicket in trying to defend against a bowler's delivery. It doesn't happen very often though). The bowler does not get credit for this sort of dismissal.

Batsman stumped. (What happens here is that in attempting to hit the ball the batsman steps out of an area referred to as the ``crease". If the wicket-keeper - analogous to the guy in the face-mask in baseball - the catcher? - collects the ball and knocks dowm the wicket with it before the batsman can get back into his crease then the batsman is ``stumped" and is out). The bowler does get credit for this. ((Interesting, yes, we call this person a catcher. I never knew this rule. Is this very rare, like our ``passed ball on the called third strike''?? Let's say, would only happen about once in ten matches?))

Caught. (This should be familiar to baseball fans. The batsman whacks the ball and a fielder catches the ball before it touches the ground). The bowler gets the credit for this dismissal, along with the catcher.

Run out. (Also familiar to baseball fans. You score runs in cricket by knocking the ball out of the playing area, or by running to the opposite end of the batting track. When going for a run, the batsman at the other end runs in the opposite direction. Both batsmen hope to reach safety - the crease - before a fielder can throw the ball and knock down the stumps. There is no ``tagging" of a runner in cricket. This does not happen very often because unlike in baseball, a batsman does not have a finite number of deliveries to face. He stays in until he gets out. It's not unusual for a batsman to face 10 or 20 or 30 deliveries without scoring a run or laying bat to ball.) The bowler does not get the credit for this sort of dismissal.

Leg before wicket (LBW). (Put simply, if in the opinion of the umpire, the batsmen used his leg to prevent the ball from hitting the wicket then he is given out ``leg before wicket". There are various caveats to this, such as when the ball hits the bat first before hitting the leg, but that's the gist. I'd rather explain football's [soccer's] offside law than explain LBW.) The bowler does get the credit for this sort of dismissal.

Apart from a player retiring hurt (not that uncommon with rock-hard balls travelling at 90 mph bouncing on uneven ground 2 yards in front of the batsmen) those are the ways in which a batsman can be dismissed. Not all of them result in a credit to the bowler, so it should be noted that just one ``run out" would have spoiled Kumble's perfect record.

Finally (at last! Stop snoring at the back there), the other significant part of Kumble's achievement is that he did it in an international match, not a club match. He was facing the cream of another nation's talent. Admittedly, had that nation been England then that would not have been saying much but to do it against India's arch-rivals Pakistan has practically assured Kumble of god-like status in India.

To put it in perspective, only one other bowler in 120 years of international cricket has ever taken all 10 wickets in a single innings. To take 5 wickets is considered a good day; 6 or 7 pretty fantastic but all 10 is awesome.

One caveat should be mentioned. More than most sports, I would guess, ground and weather conditions can have an impact on performance. Some weather conditions make the ball swing more in the air, some ground conditions make the ball spin, hop or stay low in an unexpected manner, thereby making life difficult for a batsman. It's true that Kumble did have ``some help from the wicket" as they say in cricket, but then there were 3 or 4 other guys out there bowling on the same wicket and they could not get anybody out.

I'm trying to think of a US sporting analogy. How about 1 guy scoring ALL the points for his team in a single basketball game? ((Yes, I think that's very close, the closest obvious example that I can think of.))

OK, gotta go, got a train to catch. Not had time to proof read all of the above. If anything makes no sense feel free to e-mail me for clarification.

John, JHarrington of


``So I called up George and he called up Jim, I said let's make a deal.

He said he'd talk to him. Gonna start a church where you can save yourself,

You can make some noise, When you've got no choice...

You told me useful things, what people think of me, I guess I should thank you.

It's true, then I agree... I'm all alone, I've got no choice,

I'm all alone, I've got no choice."

From ``Got No Choice" by the incomparable Mark Cutler, from the CD Mark Cutler and Useful Things.

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904.

Standby lists:

Mike Barno, John Breakwell, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Doug Kent, Paul Rauterberg, Stan Johnson, Heath Gardner, Phil Reynolds, Dave Partridge, Andy York, Michael Pustilnik, Dan Gorham, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy.

Kurt Ozog, Mike Barno, Phil Reynolds, Jim Sayers, Troy Mooney, and Harry Andruschak stand by for the Colonial Diplomacy game.

Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Phil Reynolds, Jim Sayers, Kurt Ozog, and Paul Kenny stand by for the Modern Diplomacy game.

Karl Schuetz stands by for the Colonia game.

Let me know if you want on or off these lists. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks. I'd really appreciate it if anyone wanted to be added to the lists.


Breaking Away is almost full for the next opening, see the sign-up list discussion under the game below.

The only Diplomacy oriented opening left is an opening for a game of Star Trek Diplomacy! This will be the last Diplomacy game opening until a game or two ends. Even though there has been no interest yet, perhaps some will develop if it is my only opening. See Stephen Agar's rules on his web page at:

There are two changes I am looking at when I start the game. First, I really want to name all the star systems after Star Trek locations. I have begun to do this already, but if someone wants to contribute significantly, or even volunteer to do it all, I will offer a free game start in the game. Second, after naming all of the systems, I think I want to nix the ``revolving rings'' rule. I'll take input on this idea. The game start is open now, and since I want to STRONGLY encourage press, you can sign up and ``claim'' a race. Species 8472 has been in two segments of Voyager and is a very intriguing diplomatic race (their episodes are the only Voyager episodes I've liked in the last year) and the rest of the races should be well known to all. No interest in this game? I really want to run this. I guess I gotta work on my map and publish it.

I suppose I have to admit that no one is requesting Pontevedria, the North American game opening flyer, from Conrad von Metzke any more. You can contact Conrad by E-Mail at metzke of if you want to ask him about it. I'd be pleased to help anyone find other game openings on a personal basis too. The longer run solution might come out of the efforts of the Brits, on which we might be able to piggyback. If you are interested, contact Stephen Agar at stephen of or join the Brit hobby mailing list at:

(Sometimes I Feel Like) FLETCHER CHRISTIAN: 1999 ???, Colonia VIIb Diplomacy



Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Gene Prosnitz, 2600 Netherland Ave., Riverdale, NY 10463, (718) 601-8131 ($5)

CHINA: Bob Acheson, 304-556 Laurier Ave., Ottawa, ONTARIO K1R 7X2, CANADA ($5)

racheson of

ENGLAND: John Power, 2021 Westcreek Lane, #20, Houston, TX 77027 ($5)

jrpower of

FRANCE: Terry Gamble, 201 Kenney Ave., Barksdale AFB, LA 71110 ($5)

velobus of

NETHERLANDS: Scott Morris, 12110 Shelbyville Rd., Louisville, KY 40243 ($5)

Scottm221 of

OTTOMAN: Stan Johnson, 1254 East Broadway Road #56, Mesa, AZ 85204-2223, (602) 668-1105 ($5)

PORTUGAL: Robert Stimmel, Apt. #57, Casa de Sherry Apts., 2462 North Sycamore Blvd.,

Tucson, AZ 85712-2541 ($5)

RUSSIA: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

SPAIN: Heath Gardner, 3017 Mayview Road, Raleigh, NC 27607 ($5)

dweezil of or bassoon of

Game Notes:

1) I didn't have preference lists from everyone, so this was a random draw. I print phone numbers and E-Mail addresses if I have them. If this information is missing above and you have the information, please divulge the information. The first deadline is not close on purpose. I feel strongly that giving lots of time for the first move allows the right background to be set for a good game. I accept press at each of the two intervening TAP deadlines. I printed my house rules just recently and won't be printing them again. Either read them on the World Wide Web at:

Or go back to issue #211 and read them there, or specifically request them from me. You are responsible for anything that is in there and you want to avoid surprises. Have a great game!! Ask anything else that comes to mind that is confusing in these next couple of weeks before Spring orders are due.

2) Unlike all of the other games in this szine, I won't print a map for the game each season. I will print one periodically with Spring and Fall results, using the one page ``blank" map that David Partridge drew and I printed a couple of issues ago. I do believe in having games be ``watched'' though and so it will be a regular in the szine. I think this is pretty rare for this variant over the years, as it usually has been run as a players' only flyer. I want this to excite and interest people on the Internet though and possibly eventually lead to it being coded up on the Internet Judges.

3) This is another game which is named after a song by the Mekons. The best recorded version of this song is on the CD single for ``Millionaire'' that was recorded live in Chicago. Watch out for those Mutinies!!! What a perfect name for this game!!!

4) Starting positions were in last issue and I will set up starting positions in the szine either next issue or the issue after. Note we also will begin with 1751 as that is the correct starting date for this variant. Double thanks to Robert Stimmel for re-verifying this. Also, I do have the precise text from Robert on the special retreat rule:

Those islands which are marked as ``Neutral Supply Centers'' as well as Island Colonies may be occupied by an Army. An Army dislodged from an island center may retreat to another island or mainland province via Fleet Convoy provided there is a Fleet available to make the convoy and that the convoy does not exceed one sea-space. The retreating Army and the convoying Fleet must be of the same nationality. This rule applies ONLY to Armies dislodged from island centers. For the purposes of this rule, Britain and Australia are considered to be mainlands.

5) Lee Kendter, Jr., may we please have a Miller Number for this game? Thanks very much!


(GCDD-JIM-BOB): As for Paul, I'm going to have to crush him for talking me into this game.

SECRETS: 1999 ???, Regular Diplomacy



Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821 ($5)

ENGLAND: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA ($10)

100233.513 of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

roland6 of

GERMANY: Richard Pinelli, 3042 Cherry Lane, Northbrook, IL 60062, (847) 291-7520 ($5)

drahcir of

ITALY: Luke Dwyer, Colgate University, Box J 1262, 13 Oak Hill Drive, Hamilton, NY 13346,

(315) 228-4625 ($5) Ldwyer of

RUSSIA: Chris Trent, 8553 Banff Vista Dr., Elk Grove, CA 95624, ($5)

ChrisT98 of

TURKEY: Scott Munson, PO Box 1042, Gardiner, MT 59030, (406) 848-2102 ($5)

ABLodge of (Put Attn: Scott in your Subject since he shares this E-Mail)

Game Notes:

1) I didn't have preference lists from everyone, so this was a random draw. I print phone numbers and E-Mail addresses if I have them. If this information is missing above and you have the information, please divulge the information. Actually, I think I'm only missing Harold Zarr's E-Mail address. I know he has one.... and Chris Trent's phone number... and, oh yeah, Jim Sayers' phone number, but I don't suppose anyone is interested in that! The first deadline is not close on purpose. I feel strongly that giving lots of time for the first move allows the right background to be set for a good game. I accept press at each of the two intervening TAP deadlines. I printed my house rules just recently and won't be printing them again. Either read them on the World Wide Web at:

Or go back to issue #211 and read them there, or specifically request them from me. You are responsible for anything that is in there and you want to avoid surprises. Have a great game!! Ask anything else that comes to mind that is confusing in these next couple of weeks before Spring orders are due.

2) One of Sally Timms' great vocals, this song was on The Curse of the Mekons:

``Listen to the voices drifting through the windows of the grand old villas of Bonn.

All the town's dark secrets float through the Rhine lands river mists.

The wives of bankers reminisce in whispers, debilitated by horrors, half heard, half remembered.

All the town's dark secrets, unstable and dangerous, fearful and feared.

The lights went out all over Europe...."

3) Conrad von Metzke, may we please have a Boardman Number for this game? Thanks very much!!


(BOOB to SECRETIVE DIPLOMATS): What, no press yet???? How can that be????

SADDAM HUSSEIN: 1999 Arn42, Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy - Black Hole Variant



Fall 1901

AUSTRIA (S. Kenny): f ALB-tri, a GAL-vie, a SER-rum; and nuked POR, SPA, TYO, SWE, NWY;

owns vie,tri,bud,ser (4).

ENGLAND (McCullough): f LON S f edi, a EDI S f lon; and nuked ENG(2), NWG(2),

ICELAND, GREENLAND, GM ((Oh, no!!!)); owns lon,edi,lvp (3).

FRANCE (Weiss): a MAR S a gas-mun, a gas-MUN; and nuked NTH(3), VEN, ROM, NAP, TUN;

owns bre,par,mar,mun (4).

GERMANY (Reichert): f HEL S a pru-rum, a pru-RUM; and nuked ANK, SMY, CON, BUL, SEV;

owns rum (1).

ITALY (Schultz): f APU-tri, a TUS-vie; and nuked MID(2), WES(2), TYH(2), ION(2), AEG(2);

owns none (0).

RUSSIA (Gardner): f GOB S f bla-kie, f bla-KIE, a SIL-mun, a lvn-BER; and

nuked BAL, HOL, NTH(3), BEL; owns stp,mos,war,ber,kie (5).

TURKEY (Barno): has none; and nuked AEG(2), ION(2), TYH(2), WES(2), MID(2);

owns none (0).

Pre-Winter 1901

AUSTRIA (Barno): has f TRI, a VIE, a BUD, and five nukes.

ENGLAND (S. Kenny): has f LON, f EDI, a LVP, and five nukes.

FRANCE (McCullough): has f BRE, a PAR, a MAR, and five nukes.

GERMANY (Weiss): has f KIE, a BER, a MUN, and five nukes.

ITALY (Reichert): has f NAP, a ROM, a VEN, and five nukes.

RUSSIA (Schultz): has f STP(SC), a MOS, a WAR, f SEV, and four nukes.

TURKEY (Gardner): has f ANK, a CON, a SMY, and five nukes.

Addresses of the Participants

Sandy Kenny, 23 East Coulter Avenue, Collingswood, NJ 08108-1208

Jody McCullough, 1071 Brown Avenue, Lafayette, CA 94549-3153

jodym of

Richard Weiss, Richard Weiss, 500 Beale St. # 104, San Francisco, CA 94105, (415) 512-7221

rcw of

Sara Reichert, 20805 Margaret, Carson, CA 90745-1224

John Schultz, #19390, W-M11L, Indiana Department of Correction,

Plainfield Correctional Facility, 727 Moon Road, Plainfield, IN 46168-9400

Heath Gardner, 3017 Mayview Road, Raleigh, NC 27607

dweezil of or bassoon of

Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883

mpbarno of

Current Standings

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 TOTAL

Black Holed 15 15
Neutral  2  2

Total 34 34

Times GM Nuked  1  1
Greenland  1  1
Iceland  1  1

Game Notes:

1) Thanks to Lee Kendter, Jr. for the Miller Number.

2) There isn't much point to a regular Supply Center Chart. So, this is the way I do it. From now on, I will keep the ``running score'' in each issue, unless I run short of space and might cut it occasionally. Generally, I won't put in a ``pre-winter'' list of what countries you are rotating to, but this first time, I thought I would. Note that you really want to be negotiating about the next Spring season now. The Spring deadline will follow pretty quickly after that next Winter deadline.

3) I went and copied the standings table from the last time this game was run, and the distribution of results was remarkably similar. The main difference was in the Italian result and the fact that we had two neutral centers (gre,den) and there were none in the last game. And this is with entirely different rules. Interesting. Anyway, we have some fast starts and some slow starts.


(MIKE to SARA): Oops, not the Marco Poll but the Miller etc. Awards' Best Player, that was it. Saw your excuse (6 opponent NMRs) in NF and that won't get you off the hook... HEY EVERYBODY! STOP SARA SHE'S THE DANGEROUS PLAYER!! GET HER NOW OR SHE'LL BE UNSTOPPABLE!! ... (We used to do this to Marc Peters so badly that he tried to get removed from consideration for such awards.) ((I remember, I remember....))

(SARA REICHERT to HEATH GARDNER): Honest, I'm sorry I nuked your SC of Sevastopol. I was after Turkey (who committed the awful crime of not writing to me) and in hindsight it would have been better to nuke the Black Sea. I'll try to be more careful next time. ((I think he decided that a ``2 for 1'' trade would be more acceptable.....))

(BARNO to ALL): Jim said in last issue's ``Game Notes" what I wanted to tell you all. Last place, hurt nobody, been shamefully wronged. There, that saved me some e-mail and a stamp or two.

(SARA REICHERT to RICHARD WEISS): Are you a real doctor with a PhD; or one of those quacks with a DO, MD, DC or something like that? ((Wow, what an interesting turn of the card. I'm the one who's a REAL PhD type doctor and MISTER Weiss has one of those ``quack'' degrees.))

(CHAMORRU KING - ECONOMICIAN BOOB): Stay in your own area of expertise, as limited as that is. ``Real residents" of Guam speak Chamorru, eat red rice from KFC, buy Exxon at the corner on their way to Winchell's donut house which has a drive through, on their way to watch the Lakers whip the Celtics. They know they are Americans. Why would they want to vote for a President, anyway? Just a waste of time between bad choices. Politically they've modeled themselves after Chicago and Louisiana closely. Say, are you open to any sort of bribe in where the nukes land? ((Don't bribe me, bribe your trigger happy partners in crime!!))

(TURKISH CAMEL-HUMPERS to ENGLISH PIG-BUGGERERS): Thanks for the surname pun, it didn't get used in previous NYEED games.

(FRENCH POODLES-ENGLISH SETTERS): The sun will set on the Empire, Princess Lea. Nice move protecting LPL and the Beatlemania museum.

(HEATH - ENGLISH PIT BULLS): Be careful who you say ``Babboons (sic)" to. In the National Hockey League a guy got fined for that! And no calling Turkey a dwarf no, that is a sanctioned word around the net as well.

(MIKE to JOHN): No I didn't self-immolate; that would be unkind by denying friends my love, and I would hate for them to suffer this sadness.

(1902 - 1901): ``Who do you love?" Is that in the music choices for dance song of the millenium. It's got to rate about 2,000 light years above Porky and Bessie.

(OLD FART to NEWLY OUT OF THREE YEARS OF SILENT SHADOWS): Nuking the GM gives you one Historical Tradition point and my alliance.

(RICHARD-JOHN BOY): Twas two ywo bombing yourself in Russia. Sware upon a stack of bibles. And you couldn't kick anyone in the ass, so watch your boots, they're already dirty. ((Huh?))

(ENGLISH PIGS - BARNEY AND FRED): What, blown back to the Stone Age, well, at least you have the right name!

(SARA - JODY): Soo much press and no abuse. What a nice person.

(RICHARD - JODY): By the next issue, you will have faced Boob Doom in person, be prepared for his fiendish levels of play. He's even more erratic in FTF play than he is as an editor. ((Heh, heh, heh....))

(BARNOID PRESS RESPONDING TO GM'S PRIVATE COMMENTS): Oh, yeah, I liked coming from last place so well last game that I cleverly arranged to be nuked into 100.00% oblivion as the first step on my carefully planned path to glory. You can't put this kind of subtlety into a novice booklet. ((Hey, you never know!! It might have been a plan.... I've seen worse.))

(SARA to GM): Do you own a cat? ((Not only do I own one cat, I own two. I speak about them often in the szine. Right now is hairball season as these luxuriant long haired cats shed their winter fur. I think we've finally beaten Alex's hairballs into submission and remission and emission.....)) And since you are on the Absolute! mailing list, perhaps you can answer Paul Kenny's question about 22 SCs being some sort of record? ((Not precisely, though the people reading this szine have been involved in the record setters, so they could enlighten you. I believe that Dick Martin is the record holder and I believe that he nabbed all 34, going from 17 to 34 in one season. Perhaps he (or his partner in crime, Mark D. Lew) will enlighten us further. In any case, there have been many, many, many greater victories than a mere 22 centers.)) And thanks for locating Dan Stafford, since I owed him a letter of thanks. I enclose a copy of that letter for your files. (If you think it might be worth reprinting in TAP, go ahead.) ((I think I will.... thanks. It may get delayed to next issue, as I type this and am up against the clock....))

COME AND HAVE A GO (If You Think You're Hard Enough): 1998 V, Diplomacy



Autumn 1901 - With English Results Corrected

AUSTRIA (Pollard): bld 2; has f GRE, a GAL, a RUM.

ENGLAND (Tallman): bld 1; f nth (North Sealth)-BEL, f NWG C a yor-nwy, a YOR-nwy (imp).

FRANCE (Morris): bld 1; has f ENG, a SPA, a PIC.

GERMANY (Sayers): bld 2; has f HOL, a DEN, a RUH.

ITALY (Munson): bld 1; has f TUN, a TUS, a VEN.

RUSSIA (Dwyer): bld 1; has f SWE, a UKR, a FIN.

TURKEY (Barno): bld 2; has f BLA, a SEV, a BUL.

Supply Center Chart - Corrected

AUSTRIA (Pollard): vie,bud,tri,rum,gre (has 3, bld 2)
ENGLAND (Tallman): lon,lvp,edi,bel (has 3, bld 1)
FRANCE (Morris): bre,par,mar,spa (has 3, bld 1)
GERMANY (Sayers): ber,kie,mun,den,hol (has 3, bld 2)
ITALY (Munson): rom,ven,nap,tun (has 3, bld 1)
RUSSIA (Dwyer): mos,war,stp,swe (has 3, bld 1)
TURKEY (Barno): ank,smy,con,bul,sev (has 3, bld 2)
Neutral: por,ser,nwy (Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Kent Pollard, 1541 W. San Jose, Fresno, CA 93711 ($4)

ENGLAND: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($5)

terryt of

FRANCE: Scott Morris, 12110 Shelbyville Rd., Louisville, KY 40243 ($5)

Scottm221 of

GERMANY: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA ($10)

100233.513 of

ITALY: Scott Munson, PO Box 1042, Gardiner, MT 59030, (406) 848-2102 ($5)

ABLodge of (Put Attn: Scott in your Subject since he shares this E-Mail)

RUSSIA: Luke Dwyer, Colgate University, Box J 1262, 13 Oak Hill Drive, Hamilton, NY 13346,

(315) 228-4625 ($5) Ldwyer of

TURKEY: Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883 ($5)

mpbarno of

Game Notes:

1) Really embarrassing.... as most people around here know, I usually GM ``without a net'' and just adjudicate right in the computer, rather than setting up the game or anything. Every once in awhile that gets me in big, big trouble. The English convoy FAILED because Yorkshire is not adjacent to Norwegian Sea. The corrected English moves are above. I also made a minor error in the SC chart, since Russia has a build to replace the fleet that was annihilated in Fall.

2) Finally, note Kent Pollard's new address. The combination of Kent's move and the errors led to a request for a game delay, which I have granted. Note the revised deadlines above.


(BARNSTORMER): Jim's really giving the "GM'S EGREGIOUS FLUB" category a workout here, and the game's barely started.

(TURKEYSAUR to PROFESSOR TALLMAN): Instead of your usual lecture on toadyism, sir, could you give us a special tactical lesson in convoying and portaging forces? [GM can insert "Hyork" here.]

SO GOOD IT HURTS: 1998 P, Regular Diplomacy



Spring 1902

AUSTRIA (K. Ozog): a VIE S a bud-tri, f GRE S RUSSIAN a rum-bul, a bud-TRI,

a SER S RUSSIAN a rum-bul.

ENGLAND (James): f edi-NWG, f lvp-IRI, f ENG S a bel-pic,

f NWY S GERMAN f den-swe, a bel-PIC.

FRANCE (Dwyer): f MID S a pic-bre, a SPA h, a pic-BRE.

GERMANY (Goesle): a MUN-sil, a BER-pru, f KIE-bal, f DEN-swe,

a hol-BEL, a mar-GAS.

ITALY (Rauterberg): a VEN S a pie-tyo, f nap-ION, f TUN S f nap-ion,

a pie-TYO, a tri-ser (d r:alb,otb).

RUSSIA (Rusnak): a WAR-sil, a STP-nwy, f SWE-bal, f SEV-bla,

a PRU S a war-sil, a RUM-bul.

TURKEY (Emmert): f smy-AEG, f ANK-bla, a BUL S RUSSIAN a sev (nsu,imp),

a CON S a bul.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Kurt Ozog, 1220 N. Ashbel Ave., Berkeley, IL., 60163, (708) 544-9330

kozog of

ENGLAND: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956 ($5)

dkbn of

FRANCE: Luke Dwyer, Colgate University, Box J 1262, 13 Oak Hill Drive, Hamilton, NY 13346, (315)

228-4625; School Breaks Only: 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($5)

Ldwyer of

GERMANY: Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235 ($5)

ITALY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($5)

prosit of

RUSSIA: Russ Rusnak, 1551 Highridge Avenue, Westchester, IL 60154-3428 ($5)

TURKEY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456-5436, (757) 471-1842 ($5)

semmert of

Game Notes:

1) Seems like it's developing into a pretty good game....


(GERMANY to RUSSIA #1): Ok, if you're going to disdain email, can you please have someone grammer-check ((sic)) and spell-check your letters? It's sometimes tough to figure out what you're really trying to say. ((WHOOOO, WHOOOO, WHOOO, warning, warning.... call in the grammar checkers and the spell checkers and ERADICATE THAT GERM(an)!!! He who is without sin should cast the first stone!))

(RUSS - WARREN): Your last letter implied that you were taking my lack of trust personally, nothing personal is intended.

(BARNO to RUSNAK): The curmudgeon speaks! Glad you're alive and active but I'm afraid you're still using Old Style thinking. Old Style as in ``cheap midwestern beer", not as in ``traditional".

(RUSS-WHINERS (you know who you are)): Due to incessant whining, I have decided to try E-mail, 100 free hours (need them just to sign on and sign back on after the connection is consistantly broken) from AOL helps, for a while anyway.

(GERMANY to RUSSIA #2): One of us is really stupid. In case it's me, I apologize for unbalancing the game. ((Balance and fairness?? Sounds like you need a lawyer!!))

(TURKEY to GERMANY): Funny you should mention a need for a lawyer; I just became available. Great rates, too. Want me to cuss out another player in Latin for you? Hit 'em with a couple of restraining orders to tie them up for a couple of crucial turns while you (ahem) take advantage of the situation? I can send you a price sheet in case you're on a budget.

(ENGLAND to RUSSIA): I really didn't want war. I was more than happy to let you have what was rightfully yours, but you had to get greedy.

(GERMANY to RUSSIA #3): I read your game analysis. I read your diploming. I read your moves. They appear to be written by 3 different people. You might have that looked into.

(AUSTRIA - RUSSIA): If this goes as planned, thanks for you're cooperation. If not, thanks for listening.

(ENGLAND to AUSTRIA): I trust you will keep a lid on things in Serbia and Albania. We don't want the Americans coming in and taking over European supply centers. Maybe we should just make a seven power agreement to all keep out of Serbia.

(AUSTRIA - ALL): That Nuclear Yuppie Saddam game is pretty wicked. I sure could use five nukes right about now...! It's all in good fun!

(AUSTRIA - ITALY): Take this.

(AUSTRIA - TURKEY): Take that.

(GERMANY to FRANCE): Hello? That 1908 alliance that we have planned will work better if we're still speaking then.

(AUSTRIA - GERMANY & ENGLAND): So, who's at war with who over there?

(JAMES to EMMERT AND RUSNAK): I'm looking forward to seeing who is in the Black Sea. Are you both really just going to let your fleets rot at anchor keeping an eye on each other?

(TURKEY to RUSSIA): The move to the Black Sea is a precaution. Your southern holdings are safe from me. As evidence, I offer this: A Bul S Russian A Rum. I hope that's 'nuff said.

(BOOB to RUSSIA): As for the Bulgarian order, ``what I have written, I have written...'' - Pontius Pilate

(KAISER to SULTAN): Tell me again what I'm supposed to do with this light saber? Luke left it lying around.

(LONDON to PARIS): You sure called that one right. Look at all of those German armies heading my way. Looks like they decided to stop off in Paris along the way. Maybe it is one of those London / Paris package tours.

(GERMANY to ENGLAND): Should it bother me that I need smarter allies AND smarter enemies?

(EMMERT to BOARD): I apologize for my inaccessibility this turn, but, well, I warned you. I'll be back to normal next time. Swear to Allah.

(JAMES to EMMERT): Get to your new job ASAP. Now I have to actually do work at my computer rather than just respond to your emails. I trust your old employer didn't catch on to the amount of time you were spending on plotting to take over Europe instead of trying to defend the city from frivolous law suites.

(HAMILTON to VIRGINIA BEACH): Thanks, I'll need the all the luck I can get. If only European Geography was a class...

(GERMANY to RUSSIA #4): We've diplomed this game for about 6 months now, and you still don't believe me, despite never having caught me in a lie. So I'm going to lie to you from now on: we're at peace.



Turn 6

59 (replenish with a 8): Kenny McCormick(Breaking Away!)
58 (no replenishment): Empty
57 (no replenishment): Empty
56 (no replenishment): Empty
55 (no replenishment): Empty
54 (no replenishment): Empty
53 (no replenishment): Empty
52 (no replenishment): Empty
51 (replenish with a 3): Shemp
50 (replenish with a 4): Curly, Bernard Spoke, Larry, Kyle Broslofski
49 (no replenishment): Empty
48 (no replenishment): Empty
47 (no replenishment): Empty
46 (replenish with a 3): Sir Isaac Newton
45 (replenish with a 4): Christoph Wheelhub, Eric Cartman
44 (replenish with a 6): Cottontail
43 (replenish with a 7): Flopsy, Moe
42 (replenish with a 9): Stan Marsh, John Logie-Baird, Mopsy, Peter, Alfred the Great
41 (no replenishment): Empty
- S - P - R - I - N - T - - F - I - N - I - S - H - - L - I - N - E -
40 (replenish with a 3): Damon Velodrome
39 (no replenishment): Empty
38 (replenish with a 3): Chasin' Jason, Alessandro Cyclotron
37 (replenish with a 5): Barkin' Larkin'
36 (replenish with a 6): Broke Leg Meg, Shane the Chain
35 (no replenishment): Empty
34 (no replenishment): Empty
33 (no replenishment): Empty
32 (no replenishment): Empty
31 (no replenishment): Empty
30 (replenish with a 3): Will Shakespeare

Addresses of the Participants - Their Team and Their Cards

TEAM 1 (Farmer McGregor's Dinner): Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02492

(0 points) 72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

A: Flopsy 7 7 6 7
B: Mopsy 3 7 9
C: Cottontail 6 3 7
D: Peter 4 9 18

TEAM 2 (Chef's Crackers): Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY

(4 points) rick_desper of or desper of

Coach is, of course, Chef
A: Stan Marsh (aka the Star Quarterback) 7 7 3 9
B: Kyle Broslofski (aka the Lonely Jew) 4 12 4
C: Kenny McCormick (aka the Pov) 8 4 3
D: Eric Cartman (aka the FatAss) 5 4 6

TEAM 3 (Goz Transportation Co.): Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235

(8 points) gozcorp of

A: Alessandro Cyclotron 7 3 3 8
B: Bernard Spoke 4 8 4
C: Christoph Wheelhub 4 5 9
D: Damon Velodrome 5 5 3

TEAM 4 (Brit Pack): John Harrington, 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex, EN1 3UW UK

(4 points) johnh of

A: Alfred the Great 18 4 11 9
B: Sir Isaac Newton 3 4 3
C: Will Shakespeare 4 3 5
D: John Logie-Baird 15 7 9

TEAM 5 (The Stoogecycles): David Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722

(23 points) rebhuhn of

A: Curly 4 8 4
B: Larry 4 3 4
C: Moe 3 7 3
D: Shemp 3 3 7

TEAM 6 (The Flat Wheel Society): John Schultz, #19390, W-M11L, Indiana Department of Correction,

(0 points) Plainfield Correctional Facility, 727 Moon Road, Plainfield, IN 46168-9400

A: Broke Leg Meg 6 15 9
B: Shane the Chain 6 9 10
C: Barkin' Larkin' 7 4 5
D: Chasin' Jason 3 7 16

Game Notes:

1) Since I like this game and am learning how to do this and have to put my new knowledge to good use, I will start another game. I'll keep the sign-up list here so that interested parties will see it as they peruse the szine. All games will start when they have precisely six players and for the moment I will keep the game opening list always on. This game will continue to be free, like Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire. Currently in line for the next game (to be Version 2.3) are: Luke Dwyer, David Partridge, Rick Desper, Eric Brosius and John Schultz. I'm going to run this one, but David has volunteered to run a game in Tinamou, so when this second game gets started, I will be collecting interest to play the third game there. David should say which version of the rules he wants to use.


(GOZ TRANSPORTATION CO. QUARTERLY REPORT to THE PARENT CO., GOZ & CO., INC): Profits up $1M this quarter, despite another acquisition. However, we plan large outlays in the coming quarter, to facilitate communication between the divisions, and bring the Company closer together. It probably won't work, but we'll give it a shot.

(ERIC CARTMAN - ERIC BROSIUS): I would appreciate it if, when you write press, you make it clear that it is coming from ``Eric Brosius" and not ``Eric Cartman".

(ERIC - BOOB): I will continue to sign my own press as just ``Eric".

(BOOB to ERIC): And just who are you???

(ERIC - ERIC): Bite me!

(ERIC - BOOB): Are you going to let him say that kind of thing to me? ((Why not? Who are you??))

(EVIL CARTMAN TWIN - FIELD): You know, I really enjoy playing this game with all of you.

(ERIC THE 1/2 BEE - ERIC & ERIC): Bzzzzz

(FLOPSY-CHEF): You'll note, I trust, that my standard deviation has stabilized at its previous low level. ((Pretty amazing, though without many choices, one suspects that you will end up on a square you don't want to be one - eventually!))

(CHEF - FLOPSY): You can do it! You can get four 7s! Just keep trying!

(ALESSANDRO CYCLOTRON to SHAKESPEARE): Adios Bill! Parting is such sweet sorrow.

(CHEF - SHAKESPEARE): I think it's time to start practicing your ``Alas poor Yorick" jazz.

(DAMON VELODROME to SHAKESPEARE): Remember, 'tis better to have raced and lost, than never to have raced at all. Write when you find work. I'm outta here!

(TFWS - > BOOB): If this is typical, it's playing out like the real thing - sorta!

(GOZ to CHEF): Actually, I'm an import, so neither of us are real Hoosiers. But we're pedalling as fast as we can. Want to wait up?

(WHOEVER - TFWS): The Brit pack isn't looking half as good as the Stooges.

(TFWS - > DESIGNER): Cards awarded between 3 and 7. Have we reached cruising speed? Is this typical? Did you foresee it?

(CHEF - KIDS): Now you boys all slow down and let the other kids catch up to you. Time to apply the brakes. (Stan, Kyle, and Cartman all pull their BikeChute ripcords and slow to a snail's pace. Kenny reaches down and fires his second rocket booster.)

(KENNY - FIELD): Woo-hoo!

(KIDS - KENNY): Hold on, Kenny!

(CHEF - PUNDITS): Keep in mind that card value is not the only important factor in this race.

(CHEF - GOZ TRANSPORTATION CO.): Unless you want AC and DV to meet Yorick's fate, I suggest playing the big cards - now.

(CHEF - READERS): One of you sign up for the next bike race so we can start! Remember, the game is free! It's easy! It's fun! And I promise I won't use the South Park kids in the next race!


Winning outright:

Stooges: 1:3

GT Co: 4:1

Chef's Boys: 6:1

Brits: 8:1

Flat Wheelers: 50:1

Bunnies: 100:1

Winning race:

Curly, Larry, or Shemp: 6:1

Moe: 25,000:1

Eric Cartman: (normal) 1000:1

Eric Cartman: (if ice cream truck enters race) 1:35

Kenny or Kyle: 5:1

Alfred or Baird: 6:1

Christoph or Bernard: 10:1

Shakespeare: 10(10(10(10(......[10 million times]):1

Odds of being dropped from pack:

William Shakespeare: (off board - no further bets allowed)

Barkin' Larkin: 4:1

Damon Velodrome: (if still in back after this turn) 2:1

Damon Velodrome: (if 14 was played) 7:1

(end bike race)

FEAR AND WHISKEY: 1998Ers31, Modern Diplomacy


Summer 1998

BRITAIN (Schultz): has f NWG, a CLY, f NOR, a AUV,

f SWE, f SAO, f BOR, f MAO.

EGYPT (J. O'Donnell): has f LBS, a MAC, a ANA, f TUN, a GEO, f EME.

FRANCE (Andruschak): has f MON, a MAR.

GERMANY (Rauterberg): R f bal-LIT; has a PRU, a SAX, a SIL, a CZE, a LYO,

a SWI, f LIT, a PAR, f BHM, a SLO.

ITALY (Ozog): has a TUS, f ROM, a MIL, f ION, a PIE, f LIG, a HUN, f SER.

POLAND (Sasseville): R a mos-LAT; has a BIE, f GDA, f BAL, a POD, a LAT.

RUSSIA (Goranson): has a MOS, a STP, a FIN.

SPAIN (S. O'Donnell): has a GIB, a NAV, f SOG, a BAR, a MAD.

TURKEY (Pollard): R a cau-AZE; has a KAZ, a ANK, a IST, a AZE, f AEG, a GRE.

UKRAINE (Partridge): has f EBS, a ROS, a CRP, f WBS, a ODE, a CAU, a RUM, a BUL.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: John Schultz, #19390, W-M11L, Indiana Department of Correction,

Plainfield Correctional Facility, 727 Moon Road, Plainfield, IN 46168-9400

EGYPT: Jeff O'Donnell, 402 Middle Ave., Elyria, OH 44035-5728, (440) 322-2920 ($4)

FRANCE: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202 ($5)

GERMANY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

ITALY: Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138, (360) 691-4264 ($5)

ElfEric of

POLAND: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

roland6 of

RUSSIA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532, (716) 876-9374 ($3)

ForlornH of

SPAIN: Sean O'Donnell, 126 S. Park, Oberlin, OH 44074, (440) 774-2928 ($5)

TURKEY: Kent Pollard, 1541 W. San Jose, Fresno, CA 93711 ($10)

UKRAINE: Dave Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722, (603) 882-3523 ($8)

rebhuhn of

Game Notes:

1) Check out the Modern Dip web page at: Cyberia/modern.htm

2) Please note Kent Pollard's new address. I hope some of you have heard about it already! Lastly, I delayed some press from last time, it immediately follows the Mekons quote.


(THE MEKONS QUOTE OF THE MONTH): See the lead off quote for the new game SECRETS. Here's another quote from the same song: ``We've just climbed back to where we belong, this town once belonged to me, now it does again. All the town's dark secrets well up through fifty silent years. The lights went out all over Europe...."

(A TURKISH ZEALOT to THE WORLD): What in Allah's name is going on in GEO? My llamas go hungry and the pigs are angry. Where is the voice of the prophet?

(THE FIRST BLUE TURBANS to THE UKRAINIANS): We shall push your army out of BUL and your tombs shall be many!

(ADMIRAL JAHAFRAA-KABAR-TOO-MANY to THE UKRAINIAN NAVY): We arm our Jihad gunboats with many weapons. Our men shall leap upon your ships, exploding themselves for the Glory of our Nation! Death to all who oppose us!

(THE ANKARA DAYLEY): At early sunrise, the brave men of the Red Devil Divisions began to open fire upon the Ukrainian Army based in Rumania. Heavy tank fire was exchanged and many of our soldiers gave their lives in an effort to dislodge the Infidels! ((Excuse me, but have tanks been invented yet?? Never mind...)) We thank the Italians for their effort upon the frontline and I hope the Polish will continue to hold the line! (MUNICH to WARSAW): It will be interesting to see which dots you protect, now that you are growing shorthanded of manpower. Just to make things fun, I'll invade Gda, War AND Kra-some with one unit, some with two-and I'll keep Lit since you so graciously forced it upon me. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, eh?

(SILESIA): The Country formerly called Po-land shall soon be renamed ``Lackland", if we can judge by the profusion of trenches here. Actually, those weren't originally trenches but trails, worn deep into the earth by indecisive Polish forces marching between fronts. Back and forth, back and forth.... Roland. How many alliances have you formed and deformed in this war?

(BRITAIN-SPAIN): I figured Morocco was simply a borrowed dot anyways, assuming you wanted it back.

(LYON): Rumors of weighty tomes, vitriolic anti-German ``treaties" written in Spanish, abound. Co-signatories seem to share one vital characteristic: they don't share any common borders with Mighty Ones! Spain, Egypt, Turkey, Russia: each rival the other in their shared insignificance. Poland and France? Excountries. Mere German protectorates. Sad Clowns.

(THE HUNS): We've acquired some culture since Hitler's heyday, although some (like Spain) seem to be in a dither about our simultaneous drives into France and Poland. Really fellows, read your Machiavelli: `There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things'.

German troops have been committing war crimes. We call on all good people to step in and aid our Polish homeland.

(P-G): not lay'Ha' tlhIngan.(P.80 The Klingon Way)

(P-S): Treaty ended up in enemy hands, I guess.

(BRITAIN-EGYPT): Token support for the weakening government of Spain is acceptable and won't harm future diplomatic relations. Full fledged support? That's a different story entirely.

(P-R): A comeback, I think not.

SHOW ME THE MONEY: 1997Mea04, Colonial Diplomacy



Fall 1905

BRITAIN (York): f ara(sc)-OMAN, a tas-KAG, a KAR S f per, f RS S TURKISH f sud-egy,

f HK S f nan-can, f SIN-mal, a ASS S a tib-ben, f PER h, f AS S f man-ban(ec),

a TIB-ben, f NAN-can, f MAL-ban(ec).

CHINA (Goranson): a chu-sik (d r:yun,otb).

FRANCE (Sasseville): f ANN S f scs (otm), a ton-MAY, f GOS-mal(ec),

f BAN(EC) S f gos-mal(ec), f SCS-hk, a CAN S f scs-hk, a RAN S f ban, a BEN S a u.bur-ass,

a U.BUR-ass, f FOR h (and prays alliances hold). ((No such luck....))

HOLLAND (Desper): f BOR S f js, f sio-EIO, f sar-SUL.S, f JS S BRITISH f sin-mal,

f cebu-MP, a SUM h, f SUN.S-gos, f LS-scs.

JAPAN (Dwyer): a KYO h, a kyu-SHA, a VLA S a mac, f UP S f ecs, f ECS C a kyu-sha,

a mac S a kyu-sha (d,otb), f OS S a vla, f YS S a kyu-sha,

f SOJ S a vla, a SEO S a mac.

RUSSIA (Williams): a omsk-ORE, a AFG-per, a IRK S f sha-mac, a TAB-bag,

f MED S f ang-syr, a baku-ARM, a MON S f sha-mac, f sha-MAC, a SHI S a afg-per, a kag-KAM,

a PEK S f sha-mac, a SIK S a lan-chu, a lan-CHU, f ang-SYR.

TURKEY (Tallman): a SYR-bag (d r:ara,mec,otb), f sud-EGY.

Supply Center Chart

BRITAIN (York): DEL,BOM,ADEN,MAD,HK,SIN, (has 12, bld 1)
CHINA (Goranson): none (out)
FRANCE (Sasseville): TON,COC,ANN,can,may,ran,ban, (has 10, even)
HOLLAND (Desper): BOR,SUM,JAVA,SAR,new,dav, (has 8, even)
JAPAN (Dwyer): TOK,KYU,OTA,KYO,vla,fus,sak, (has 9 or 10, bld 1(r:otb) or even),seo,sha
RUSSIA (Williams): MOS,OMSK,ODE,rum,sik,mon,ang, (has 14, bld 1)
TURKEY (Tallman): EGY,sud (has 1 or 2, even)
Neutral: none (Total=58)

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Andy York, PO Box 201117, Austin, TX 78720-1117

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CHINA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532, (716) 876-9374 ($5)

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FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($8)

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HOLLAND: Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY (E-Mail)

rick_desper of or desper of

JAPAN: Luke Dwyer, Colgate University, Box J 1262, 13 Oak Hill Drive, Hamilton, NY 13346, (315)

228-4625; School Breaks Only: 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($4)

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RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (661) 297-3947 ($5)

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TURKEY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($0)

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GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Note that Don Williams has one of those ``area code'' changes that are impacting everyone these days, especially people in Southern California. Let's hurry up and move to the ``personal phone number'' place where everyone has their own number and the number rings wherever you are or wherever you want it to ring. The technology is there and available, I think that working out the pricing is the hardest hurdle to overcome. Should it be the same price if I call Don when he is home as it would be if he were visiting Rhode Island? No, probably not, but if I'm dialing the number (thinking he's in Rhode Island) and he turns out to be Singapore, I might get quite upset when I get the bill..... ah, but all things can be worked out when the price and convenience is right!! Now to the fantastical press....


(GM to SLUGS): Thanks to one of your number, this section is a decent length, but it is just a thanks to ONE of you..... the rest of you.... SLUGS, SLUGS, SLUGS....

(HOLLAND): The Dutch government issued a press release today apologizing for its general lack of strategy, direction, or aim. Since every issue has included a comment from France worrying so much about being attacked, the ``Dutchies" have decided ``oh, what the hell". Besides, attacking Britain or Japan would probably lead to a solo for Russia.

Having said that, the Dutch government promises to become a complete toady to the Duck unless people start writing letters more than once per semester. Even the appearance of a crazed letter from the Insane Turk would be appreciated right about now.

Since the SMTM presses have been scarce recently, we will use the rest of this space to comment upon the games at Namur.

The representative of the Dutch government, one Rick Desper, did quite well at WDC. That is, if ``quite well" means ``winning most of the games not in the tournament". If I told you I won a game including Chetan Radia, Dave Horton, and Vincent Mous, you might be really impressed, right? Well, at least until you found out it was a game of Seefahrer. I also won games of Settlers of Catan, Elfenland, and shared a win in Medieval Merchant, and got a strong second in my first game of El Grande. I even got a shared 1st in the first round of official Dip, but ran out of steam the second day and had a horrible second round, and skipped the 3rd round altogether. My final Dip game was better, but with a cumulative scoring system my result was not really that impressive. (I did much better at Chapel Hill.) I think I was finally getting a hang of how to play C-Diplo by the end. The Swedes have this thing figured out - they sit on their butts the whole game and make sure the whole board stalls, and make sure that they are in the position to grab a few dots at the end to get a 1st with 8 SCs. (This describes how Christian Dreyer and Leif Bergman finished 1-2 on the top board.) While I have to admire their skill at playing C-Diplo, I really think it's a misnomer to call the thing a Diplomacy tournament.

I'm sure you've all heard these things before. I'm going to try my hand at Manorcon in July (hi to all your Brit readers that I met at Namur, btw!) From what I've read of all the various scoring systems, I think I like the Manorcon system the best. ((I think I do too. It is a good balanced system. It's not as good as my ``reverse Polish'' system, but it's pretty good.))

Aside from all the Dip Incidents I've only gone to three big cons, Avaloncon in 97, WDC last year in Dixie, and this year in Namur. At first, I had a dread fear of getting hammered. Now I'm starting to develop a taste for this style of gaming. If Manorcon goes well I may even try the European championships in Sweden. (If a Swede can be the UK champ, why not an Ami as the Euro champ?) I'll definitely be back in the States in time for WDC XI, and I'll probably also go to WDC XII in Paris. If WDC XIII ends up in Australia (as rumored) I don't think I can make any promises. Of course, by that time I'll be the two-time defending World Champion. (cough, cough) ((Indeed!))

More realistically, I think I should try to get into a Settlers Tournament. I think my relative skill level is higher there than it is in Dip. Perhaps if there were sheep pastures in Java and clay yards in Sumatra I would be getting more excited about this Colonial game. ((I look forward to learning Settlers this next weekend. Wait, some late press arrives as we kiss the slugs and they turn into Princes!!!!))

(SKYWALKER to BOOB): That would be my father starring. I have had my 15 minutes of fame. ((Indeed! And this is BEFORE you were born???))

(SKYWALKER to F): UFO fleet? You have an Unidentified Flying Object Fleet?

(F-B): Where O where has the old king gone? the people will have your head for losing the colonies through neglect of old treaties.

(LUKE to F): No, no, no, that is my father who will be straying over to the dark side, in the upcoming movie this May.

(SKYWALKER): I miss using my nuclear bombs from NYEED to put you into the stratosphere with, can I get just one for this game to obliterate you with?

(MACHIAVELLI to BRITAIN): ``In a new principality, however, there are difficulties. To begin with... changes in authority come about from a natural hazard that exists in all new principalities: that is from the willingness of men to change from one lord to another believing it will improve their lot." (The Prince p.14)

(ME-JIM): Spiderman says danger approaches, but there will be no premature reactionation this time.

(SIKANG to BOARD): Oh my God, they killed Richie! The bastards.

(RUSSIA-COLONIAL MALEVOLENCE): With the hoped for demise of the Chinese warmakers, and the infidel weakened by the might of our armies and fleets, Russia hereby offers truce and amnesty. Our friends, the Dutch and the French, have fought honorably and well and deserve the fruits of their labors. To our antagonists in Japan and Britain, we offer peace and continued occupation of lands rightly sovereign to Russia.

(F-R): Now that we are near we must divide spoils and coordinate.

(R to F,H): Don't despair, Russia considers herself allied with you both, and will assist in all ways possible. Direct my sword as you will, but only if it be against the pestilence-blackened, pox-ridden, scabrously-syphilitic, scurvy-worn pariah in Britain. And double that for the evil Japanese. As to the lying Turk, he shall be dealt with personally, and shall reel from the Cossack stroke. And as for the GM....

(MACHIAVELLI to JIM): Of course, I am the master.

COLUMBUS CHILL: 1993 J, Regular Diplomacy


Winter 1921

AUSTRIA (Davis): has a BUD.

FRANCE (Zarr): has a MAR, f SPA(NC), a POR.

GERMANY (Jones): bld a kie; has a KIE, a SIL, f BEL, f BRE, f MID, f ENG, a BUR,

a GAL, a MOS, a VIE, a BOH, a MUN, a GAS, a PAR, a UKR, f IRI, f NAO.

TURKEY (Weiss): bld a stp (imp); has a BUL, f TUS, f BLA, a RUM,

a TYO, a TRI, a SER, f GOL, a SEV, f WES, f NAF, f PIE, f ADR.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Rick Davis, 1130 Hevrin Cr., Soledad, CA. 93960, (831) 678-2132 days, (831) 678-4470 eve.

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FRANCE: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

GERMANY: Charles Jones, 1722 Quail Circle, Corona, CA 91720-4155, (909) 735-8981

RUSSIA: Eric Schlegel, 314 Fords Lane, Aberdeen, MD 21001, (410) 272-3314

TURKEY: Richard Weiss, 500 Beale St. # 104, San Francisco, CA 94105, (415) 512-7221

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GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The concessions to Austria, Germany and Turkey fail, as do the draws for FG, FGT, and FAGT. A concession to Germany is proposed. Please vote with your Spring orders.


(HOF-EX-VALHALLANS): A titter rose in the cavernous tavern. Only Terry Tallman was serious, as he raked in the bets from the bar. Nobody had believed that he could collect on the double bet he'd made. 400-1 some had given him. But, yes, it was true. Germany had not only not won, but had broken his own draw line. The game would go on. Terry smiled at his only begotten child that he'd given to the Dip World and allowed the humans to name as ``Boob." The bartender hoped he'd spend some of that money on a drink for the house, but was uncertain. A rising undercurrent of muttering became a tankard banging chant, ``Da-vis. Da-vis, Da-vis!"

(GERMANY >> > JIM BOB): Only people who are un-cool think draws involving nobodies are cool. ((SSSSSMMMMOKIN'!!!!)) Turkey needs to advance in the west and take Budapest to have any kind of chance to succeed, not hold Tyrolia. I don't believe in lines either, just the win and the draw. ((Now the truth comes out. It will set you free....))

(TUR-GER): Draws involving nobodies is way-cool. I hate to agree with Meredith Burgess, but, I've riddled over this for a long time, and it is cool. I've also seen it done at two DipCons, for the national title. A two center France participated in a 3-way draw against the opposing Turkey-Italy megalith. Why don't you shrink down to 2 or 3 centers yourself and see if you wouldn't think it's cool to be part of the draw, or even get a concession then. Come on silver tongue, try.

(FRA-TUR): Yes, I am happy now. This is the MOST booooooorrrrring game I've ever played.

(GERMANY >> > FRANCE): Thanks for the support, but you didn't tell me and it doesn't work anyway.

(TUR-GER): I take back my premature ejaculation of congratulations. You've stained yourself and the glory of your solo. I am a bit suspicious that you actually created this scenario so that you could take all of France's SC in one year and win with 20 SCs, but, I doubt it.

(GERMANY >> > TURKEY): I did come after you and am still coming your way. I just waited to move west until I could win, and not give you the game. Get a life. If you want to win a few games you have to pick your allies with the mid-game in mind. Austria is a piss poor ally of Turkey in the mid- and end-games. Don't be bitter, learn. Spend more time playing the game and less time writing press. Remember the saying fools names and fools faces?

(TUR-BOOB): What, me hold TYRO, you must be crazy. You know I misbuilt in the early teens and must be rubbing it in now. Come on, GMs aren't supposed to do that (whine). ((Stuff it! Do you like that response better? What I have written, I have written.)) Besides, Tyro stinks from the German occupation. Even the EPA and the Army Corps of Engineers couldn't clean this place if all of the dirt were moved to Colorado!


(TUR-GERM): Change the rules in mid-game? I don't think so. The only rule that's changed is that you now write press and stab your ally, but, eh, what else is Dip good for? I think you should be proud of yourself.

(ODE TO A GRECIAN URN - GERMANY): Ack, schwein, you are not kinder kidding about Kubla Kahn? The Great-grandfather of Eliza? I don't want you on my side in the next game of Trivial Pursuits. Speaking of trivial, have you figured out how to go from 17 SC's to 18 when your toady is hopping out of SCs as fast as possible?

(WILLIE THE CONTEMPTUOUS PRESIDENT AND COMMANDER IN CHIEF - CHUCKIE): There is no rational response to an irrational situation. Milosivec is irrational. Yugoslavia is irrational. What is the US to do? With your skills at irrationality, I am begging you to come join our strategy formulating Chief of Staff meetings. Pretty please. With brown sugar on it. Wild horses will drag you to Washington. If you sign a peace accord with A/T I will make you a general. Right after I make your daughter a pass.

(NO LITERARY ILLUSION (stuck inside of Yellowstone with no spring in sight) - GRECIAN URN: Winter > Winner > Dinner > Donner > donned > conned > canned > banned > barned > barney > barny > barn > darn > damn > that's how you get from not being a winner in winter to playing out the hell of a never ending game.

Personal Note to You:

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