January 20, 1999

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287

Accessible through Internet at burgess of; FAX to (401) 277-9904

In My Neighborhood: [blatantly stealing from Tom Howell]

First, Tom's note: ``Not a problem here! If you want to give full credit, IMN was modeled on two sources. One was Eric Ozog's ``News on the Home Front" in his 'zine, Ramblings by Moonlight. The other was my mother's family letters to her children, her brother, her sister, her myriad cousins and the offspring of the latter three. The title itself owes as much to an obscure Maths class I took in college as it does to anything else...''

Oh, great! I love to steal ideas from Eric, who is one of my key publishing mentors and friends!!

Anyway, what I want to talk about in my neighborhood is how a little state like Rhode Island and a little city like Providence (which is growing and improving by leaps and bounds!) can go just a little nutsy over the birth of a little ol' TV series. You all know I don't watch TV hardly at all, but I did watch the premiere recently of the series titled and set in my little town. I don't pay much attention ordinarily, but it was hard to miss this one around here. I'll add my specific local comment, in one scene, the star is being driven by taxi around Providence (the visuals accompanying this are delightfully loopy and illogical - classic ``screw the passenger'' driving) and the actor driving the taxi is a friend of mine who I've mentioned here before. Richard Donelly is the father of.... yes, Tanya Donelly - former Throwing Muse - and a local native and actor. The local newspaper had the nerve to call him a Hollywood actor, even though he let his real live RI accent shine through in a way he usually doesn't on stage. Richard, when not acting, is a plumber and he's fixed my pipes and now is doing big plumbing work on our new downtown mall. The series only tangentially has anything to do with where I live, but it seems like a cute little TV series, especially since Mike Farrell plays a vet and hangs out with animals all the time. He might be the only actor I know who could pull this off without being totally sappy. Lastly, his dead wife, who will recur in dream sequences in the series, is played by the actress most famous for her flashy role in Max Headroom as ``Reg's friend'' (I can't recall the character name just now), one of the few series of the last twenty years that I did like. I doubt I'll watch Providence much, but thought you all might be interested that I noticed its existence.....


The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada, a bargain at twice the price.... but you can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and new game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $15.00 ($10.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). I am going to defer rate increases for the moment, but only until the current series of game starts is completed. Remember that music comments and reviews are scattered through the game press at times. These prices are due to increase in the near future so take advantage of them now.

One advantage of being approximately a four ounce szine most of the time is that the new postal rates actually result in a postage DECREASE for this weight from $1.01 to $0.99. This is really good from a number of perspectives. As some of you are aware, the current dollar stamp that the USPS is selling is one of the worst stamps they have ever sold. You pretty much need your OWN glue to keep them on an envelope. With the new rate, the dollar stamp will become irrelevant to me. Also, of course, it is slightly cheaper... not to be laughed at. Finally, since they won't come out with a 99 cent stamp real soon, the USPS desk workers will have more pity on me and run more szines through the meter (they only are supposed to do it for groups of less than 10 letters, but when faced with messy stamp sales, they break down easily). I'll see VERY soon when I go to mail this!!!

Check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch with all of the information you need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at:

Through Stephen Agar's (having recently taken this over from Jamie McQuinn) Postal portion of the Pouch:

the szine resides in html format. Presently, issues from #190 to the current issue are there, and I will be updating the back issues gradually in the near future.

The most recent issue also can be accessed through David Wang's and Pete Sullivan's web pages:

1) David has grabbed and reserved the HIGHLY prized name:!! His ``version'' of this szine is somewhat more html.friendly than the one I created, so please check it out. David Wang's site also allows you to follow John Caruso's postal baseball league that I am in.

2) Pete Sullivan's subszine can be found at:

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!!


This is now going to be a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Garret Schenck or Jerry Lucas or Dan Stafford is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Bid on PDORA items, subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for. This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.


The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 3UW, UK (johnh of or JHarrington of The representives in Australia (John Cain, PO Box 4317, Melbourne University 3052, AUSTRALIA) or Belgium and some other European countries (Jef Bryant, Rue Jean Pauly, 121, B-4430 ANS, BELGIUM) also will forward your subscription on to the editor in either Australian dollars or continental European currencies respectively. Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

A discussion is taking place that will address what stance we (the hobby) should take (proactive in some way for sure) toward Hasbro, the new owners of the rights to Diplomacy. If you want to be part of the discussion, send the MESSAGE:

subscribe hasbro

to majordomo of, it works just like the tap mailing list described below. Sending messages to hasbro of sends the mail to the whole list.

The game Diplomacy is a copyrighted product owned by Hasbro and all reproductions or other use of that material in this szine is intended to be personal use and not infringe on those rights in any way. All reproductions are done at a heavy financial loss to the editor and thus are without the remotest possibility of commercial intent, except to promote THE game, the Game of Diplomacy, which you all should purchase from Hasbro or other duly licensed distributors.

Fred Davis (December 4 and January 3)

Dear Jim: It's nice to hear from someone just as I was beginning to think the Postal hobby was about to die. This year, we had no Runestone Poll, no Zine Register (since Jan.), no PDORA Auction, and no DW since Feb. Melinda Holley and I did get a Hobby Awards vote out, and sent out the wooden plaques to the winners. We're also going to do it again next year, although I'm proposing that we abandon the plaques and use paper certificates. ((I would vote against that. How short did you come up? I know I donated for the plaques with my vote. I don't think it would be a problem either to tap the remaining PDORA funds or donations to make that work. If you are way, way short, then, perhaps, you might be right.))

The only good news I've heard is that Hasbro is going to continue the sales of the Dip game on a wider scale than A-H ever did. This ought to bring in more players, if we could get some sort of flyer into the game box telling people about the postal hobby.

Sorry I can't do much more for the Dip hobby these days. I'm now a Senior Citizen, and am slowed down by arthritis and a touch of early Parkinson's disease. So, all I can do is act like a Gray Eminence. At least, you won't have to hire anybody to look for me!

I've been thinking of turning out one more issue of Bushwacker, in the year 2001. That way, I can say that I was a publisher in two centuries; indeed, two millennia. Maybe some of the other Old Timers might wish to think of that, too.

Anyway, glad to see that you're still going strong, with issues in the 200's. Bush ended with issue 234, so you've almost caught up to me. You'll then be #6 on the all-time list, with only Graustark ahead of you in active zines. ((You forgot your old pal, Uncle Connie! Conrad and John will NEVER be caught by me.))

BTW, there will be some sort of game con in the Baltimore area in '99, despite the demise of AvalonCon. Perhaps I'll see you there. I had to miss the final AvalonCon this year, as it coincided with the weekend of my son's wedding. There are a few things more important than Dip. ((Quite a few!! I've been updating people here on the plans for the new organization to run the new convention. It seemed that it was being handled quite well.))

I just wanted to add a comment on your remarks on the latest issue of TAP (#212) about people sending out ``wishy washy'' greetings of ``Seasons Greetings'' or ``Happy Holidays'' on their cards and letters. You said that you thought the main reason for this behavior was that we didn't want to offend our Jewish or Muslim friends.

Another reason is that some of us - and I find this especially true among people of high intelligence - is that we no longer believe in the traditional folk story of the birth of Jesus Christ. Personally, while I call myself a Unitarian, I am closer to being an agnostic or humanist. As such, I enjoy the Christmas season as a holiday dedicated to human decency, but I do not indulge in supernatural beliefs. I tell people that our Christmas tree is there ``because I am a Druid''. This is tongue in cheek, but we all know that the Christmas tree ((Actually, nearly the entire holiday is....)) is of pagan origin. We can adapt all of these objects, and even the singing of carols, to our own interpretations. I would not be surprised to find that many other members of the Diplomacy hobby have similar feelings. ((I know that I wouldn't either.))

Twenty years ago, I would not have dared to put such beliefs into writing, but I now find that it's safe to do so. Anyway, I hope you had a happy holiday season.

Best regards, Fred, 3210 K Wheaton Way, Ellicott City, MD 21043


It also is time to ask for your ``best of 1998'' lists. Give it to me anyway you want to - a top 10, a couple of favorites, a list, an essay, whatever - the classic is to tell me your top singles, top albums, and best concerts of the year, but you are the boss. Don't wait too long though because I want to move into the party tape issues pretty quickly. I plan to have my list in NEXT time. I'm a bit rushed at the moment, but two subszines will keep this issue huge.


This section is developing a list of the great party singles of the century. You'll get a definite sense of quirky before we're done. You'll also get a sense of timelessness. I'll assume that I'll also get some comments from some of you. I'm going to set a slate of only 10 - that's just ONE more from what is below and then DEMAND votes from you out there to fill the rest of the slots. The Bullpen voting system I am envisioning will work like this: you each get ten votes which you can allocate across as few as two songs (5 votes apiece) or as many as ten songs (1 vote for each). You can allocate your ten votes any way you want, but you can't put any more than five votes on any one song. You also get ONE B-52 song vote (although you can add votes from your main allotment if desired) and THREE Drug Song votes which will be held in a separate category. The other ``special'' bullpens must be voted on from your main allotment of votes. I decided that I WILL print running totals and print the names of the people who have voted. Write-ins will be permitted, but are unlikely to win. I know I have lost some suggestions that aren't in the bullpen lists below, so feel free to mention 'em again!

We'll end up with a monster party tape at the end of it that I plan to segue and sequence and copy for distribution. The result will be a great New Millenium party tape. I've also been thinking that I should put this out on CD as truly emblematic of the new millenium. I don't have the capability to do that quite yet, but I think I might by then. Any suggestions (or especially volunteers) on this front will be cheerfully accepted and could receive monetary payments!

So far, we have ``I Melt With You'' by Modern English; George Gershwin's ``I got Plenty O' Nuttin' '' from Porgy and Bess in the 1957 concert recording with Ella Fitzgerald finishing off the vocals after Louis Armstrong blows and sings through the tune; Duke Ellington performing Billy Strayhorn's ``Take the A Train''; Frank Sinatra's ``New York, New York''; something from the B-52's; the original Van Morrison and Them version of ``Gloria''; The (English) Beat's 12 inch version of ``Save It for Later'' ratchets things up to the next level (wherever you put it!); Buster Poindexter's ``Hot, Hot, Hot'' keeps you there; ``Atomic Dog'' by George Clinton blows the doors off, and Koko Taylor cleans up singing Willie Dixon's ``Wang Dang Doodle''.

EXTRA SPECIAL B-52'S BULLPEN: ``Give Me Back My Man" or ``Rock Lobster" or ``Planet Claire'' or ``Love Shack'' or ``Dance This Mess Around" or ``Private Idaho''.

BULLPEN: ``Rocking the Casbah'' - The Clash; ``Dancing With Myself'' - Billy Idol's Gen X; ``Walk This Way'' - Run-DMC; Prince - ``1999"; ``Fire on the Mountain'' or ``Cumberland Blues'' - the Grateful Dead; Devo - ``Whip It"; ``Shake, Rattle, and Roll'' - Big Joe Turner; B Movie - ``Nowhere Girl"; ``Roadrunner'' - Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers; Strunz and Farrah - ``Americas''; Clarence ``Gatemouth'' Brown - ``Up Jumped the Devil''; David Bowie - ``Fame''; ``party at ground zero'' by fishbone; ``Tweedle Dee'' by Lavern Baker; ``Been Caught Stealing'' - Jane's Addiction; ``Hard to Handle'' - Black Crowes; ``Birth-day'' - Suzanne Vega; Doors - ``Road House Blues"; Cure - ``In between days"; Lou Reed - ``Sweet Jane''; Little Richard - ``Rock Island Line''; Bangles - ``Hazy Shade of Winter"; Violent Femmes - ``Blister in the Sun"; Go-Go's - ``Our Lips are Sealed"; Peter Frampton - ``Do you feel like we do"; Led Zeppelin - ``Hey, Hey what can I do"; Three Dog Night - ``Shambala"; ``Party Train'' - Gap Band; ``Proud Mary'' - Ike and Tina Turner; Concrete Blonde - ``Still in Hollywood"; ``Magic Mountain" - the Animals; ``The Pusher" and ``Magic Carpet Ride" - Steppenwolf; ``Revolution" - the Beatles; ``Pass the Dutchie" - Peter Tosh; ``Shake, Rattle, & Roll" - Big Joe Turner; ``Locomotion" - Little Eva; ``Want Ad Blues" - John Lee Hooker; ``Jambalaya" - Hank Williams; ``Give the Dog a Bone" - AC/DC; ``Party at Ground Zero" - Fishbone; ``I Feel Good" - James Brown; ``In the Mood" - Glenn Miller; ``Mannish Boy" - Muddy Waters; ``Chain of Fools" - Aretha Franklin; ``Twistin the Night Away" - Sam Cooke; ``Twist & Shout" - Beatles; ``What I Like About You" - Romantics; ``And We Danced" - Hooters; ``I Wanna Be Sedated" - Ramones; ``Train In Vain'' - The Clash; Nirvana - ``Smells Like Team Spirit"; Erasure - ``River Deep, Mountain High"; Squeeze - ``If I Didn't Love You"; Public Enemy - ``Bring Tha Noize (w/Anthrax)".

SPECIAL GEORGE CLINTON BULLPEN: Prince - ``Bob & George"; ``I Just Wanna Testify'', ``Let's Take It to the Stage'', ``The Pinocchio Theory'', and ``Flash Light''.

SPECIAL MILLENNIUM BULLPEN: ``1999'' - Prince; ``Disco 2000'' - Pulp.

SPECIAL ROLLING STONES BULLPEN: ``Satisfaction", ``Paint It Black", ``Jumpin' Jack Flash", ``Get Off of My Cloud'', ``Sympathy for the Devil''.

SPECIAL TALKING HEADS BULLPEN: ``The Great Curve'', ``Take me to the River", ``Life During Wartime'', the entire Speaking in Tongues record.

SPECIAL ALPHABET SONG BULLPEN: ``YMCA" - Village People; ``MTA" - Kingston Trio.

SPECIAL DRUG MUSIC BULLPEN: ``Cocaine'' - Eric Clapton's version; ``Casey Jones'' - the Grateful Dead; ``Red, Red Wine'' - UB40; The Toys - ``Smoke Two Joints''; ``Panama Red'' - New Riders; ``Smoke, Smoke, Smoke (That Cigarette)'' - Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen; and ``I'm an Okie from Muskogee'' - Merle Haggard; ``Legalize It'' - Peter Tosh; ``Heroin'' - Lou Reed and Velvet Underground; ``Easy Skanking" - Bob Marley; ``The Drugs Don't Work" - The Verve; ``Old Red Eyes is Back" - Beautiful South; ``Don't Bogart that Joint'' - Fraternity of Man; ``Hemp, for Victory''.

Rick Desper (Fri, 15 Jan 1999 19:57:28)

Some more thoughts about the impeachment:

Like I predicted, one of the counts of impeachment was passed by 9 votes, just before 5 seats changed hands to the Democrats. One could easily imagine that these five votes would have changed, and therefore Clinton would now only be facing one count of impeachment instead of two.

I am glad about a few things. The Republicans are finally talking particulars. Well at least Asa Hutchinson did last night. He convinced me that Clinton made it a huge personal task to put his political weight behind getting a job for Monica Lewinsky. However, he is leaving it up to me to infer a quid pro quo where the job was a reward for a desired false affadavit. Even if Clinton wanted her to file a false affadavit, I still think Clinton has to actually express such an idea to her explicitly before he's thrown out of office. Clinton had clear motivations to keep Lewinsky happy other than the affadavit. It's reasonable to conclude that he didn't want her talking to the press like Flowers did, or filing a suit like Paula Jones did. I don't buy the argument that the only explanation for the behavior was obstruction of justice. I think that if we are going to talk about the impeachment of the President, stronger evidence than that is needed. (And that doesn't even begin to address the question of ``high crimes and misdemeanors".)

It is hard to imagine any politician, much less a President, who could similarly withstand the scrutiny of being constantly investigated for five years. I tend to share Alan Dershowitz's view that the whole process represents a sexual inquisition. I hope that this process is not a foreshadowing of what is to come for the next century. Is every public official going to be assigned a personal tormenter, who will have subpoena powers to chase down every personal failing, and who will then put said official to the test of either publicly admitting to a personal failure or committing perjury? (Or trying to balance the two, as Clinton did?) This hardly seems to be the path to a healthy body politic.

I'm sure there are people who hate Clinton and think that somehow my previous letter represents a tolerance for perjury or adultery. My attitude has sadly become ``if the Republicans can flagrantly and willfully illegally sell arms to Iran as part of a hare-brained foreign policy, and escape punishment, on what grounds is the current impeachment based?" I thought the facts revealed by the Iran-Contra investigation were more damning than those from Watergate, and therefore far worse than anything that Clinton is being accused of. I still don't understand why the Democratic Congress of the 80s was so cowed by Reagan that they let him get off scott-free.

I'm probably a bit too involved in the Impeachment since I only get two English-speaking TV channels, CNN and NBC Europe. About the only things I watch on NBC are Leno and Conan, and they are certainly focused in on this business, especially Leno, who have an unappealing habit of making really nasty jokes about just about anybody. He's really gotten a bit too mean-spirited for my taste. Conan is much better. CNN is showing the trial from gavel to gavel. Well, I could watch the German programming more. (I usually do, but when it gets late, I get tired of the effort of watching shows in German.)

On a lighter note, this past week has been somewhat surreal for me. I had an unfortunate Fahrradunfall last week (bike accident). An old lady was on the bike path, and when I tried to go around her and hop the curb, I failed. Landed flat on my face, chipped a tooth, and made a mess of the upper lip area. This week I've had a big, purple-black scab, right under my nose, centered perfectly, and about two inches wide and one inch high. Can you picture this? Yup. I looked like I had a Hitler moustache. And here I am, an American, walking around Germany, looking like some kind of freak Hitler impersonator. How embarrassing! Well, the scab is shrinking, and I think it should be gone by next week (at least the black part.)

Perhaps the chipped tooth will help me play more like Chris Martin, current world champ, who actually lost a tooth somewhere along the way. So...who's going to WDC in Namur? For me, it's a no-brainer, I can take a train to Namur pretty easily. Larry Peery has a web site up

On one of the Brits advertised that he would arrange travel from London along the speedy trains that go into Belgium. (Eurostar?) I encourage people to come - though I cannot personally attest to the quality of the conference (or Belgium for that matter) I can say that it is often much easier to get around in Europe than one would expect, and with today's air travel Europe is more affordable than many people might think. Also, my guess is that it would be pretty easy to get by in Belgium with English, based on my experiences in Heidelberg and the fact that Belgium in general is a very multilingual country.

I found the extended article on ``ancient hatreds" to be interesting. I'm not quite as pessimistic as Mark Fassio is, though. I don't think that we need to automatically presume that history will continue along its long-beaten paths. If that were true, then we would still have slavery. I do agree that the feeling run much deeper than many theorists believe, but I don't see where ``ancient hatreds" need be inevitable. I know too many interracial marriages to believe such a thing. I know German-French and German-English couples, also. Yes, we have to recognize and give a proper respect to the sizes of the barriers that exist between different peoples. But I don't see where we have to go to believing that these barriers are inevitable. I think what happens some times is that some irresponsible (yes, I know, far too weak a word) leader shows up and starts stoking the fires of ancient hatreds. I don't think that this means that such feelings were there all along. The fact is that race relations in the U.S. in the 90s have been much worse than they were in the 70s. I believe (though I'm not 100% certain) that the Reconstruction South was relatively less racist than the South of the 1920s-1960s. (By showing that racial tension is a variable function, I'm trying to show that it can be combatted. I'm sorry, but I don't know exactly how - when I figure out the solution I'll run for Congress.)

I agree with one message of the Fassio letter - we in the West tend to overidealize how people in other parts of the world will behave. This was true in Vietnam when we were ``fighting for democracy", it's been almost universally true when discussing Africa, and it was true with Russia. In 1990, Russia was supposed to be the Big New Market. All the capitalists were going to make tons of money shipping to the new economy. What happened? Last year saw a near-complete collapse of the Russian economy. Where had the big oppurtunity gone? It seems that you cannot just say ``X hundred million people are going to want to buy Western products" and think that will suffice to create an instant Western-style capitalist state. If it were so easy to create a smoothly running economic machine, Brazil, South Africa, Indonesia, etc. would all be prospering countries by now.

Rick, R.Desper of

Richard Weiss (Wed, 30 Dec 1998 20:59:34 -0800)

Jim: Merry Christmas to you. As an agnostic-atheist, humanist, existentialist who more dabbles in the TAO then the rivers of baptism, I none-the-less appreciate the joy of a country putting on the glitz, the lights and suspending some crabbiness for some sharing of the spirit. Only Christmas seems to do that, despite their having plagiarized most of the pagan/celtic mode of ritual festival.

Music - ah, a grand and glorious return to the Bay Area has me able to write a bit about my favorite live performances of 1998. And there have been many. Unfortunately, I remember almost all. But, luckily, I remember almost all as wonderful. A few were truly outstanding.

BB King puts on the most tremendous live show. I can't get enough of him. At this year's second concert, he stated he was coming out with a new CD. Eventually it came out, and, sadly, it does not have the current big band, sweeping build-ups, grand solos, dueling duets and long wonderfulness that he plays the songs with live. Buddy Guy and Johnny Lang were up there, along with some great band in Phoenix. Susan Tedeschi has got to be the most surprising new blues voice of the year and her CD is quite good. ((Right on here, you blew my surprise, she makes my top of the year list, but I thought I was going to be the first to mention her. You beat me to it.)) Seeing Bonnie Raitt and Keb Mo' was great - but the venue was too big (5,000 people). Almost everyone I see and really get into, I see in small bars. ((Ditto.))

I saw Son Seals (Chicago blues guitarist), first heard about in TAP, in such a small bar - John Lee Hooker's ``Boom Boom Room." He never smiled, his band only smiled while selling CDs and despite amazing notes, I didn't enjoy them. The next show I saw there was the ``Booker T. Jones Band." Boom, boom, knock me out. I didn't really know much about the MGs, but Booker T was one hella keyboardist with a jumping band that night.

I saw the first reunion of the Dead and each of their bands. I even remember some of that. Great audience. The Pretenders played with Royal Crown Revue and the B-52s. The Pretenders had my favorite performance of a few years ago, but this time didn't have the orchestra and while great, maybe I was tired from dancing to the RC Revue (street swing). I don't like the B-52's (whining, jarring, dissonant, high-pitched voices) and their show was as bad as could be expected. ((Whoops, I guess you don't take to them having their own category above, do you? I'm somewhat curious, do you have a favorite song of theirs, even though you don't like them? That's the song I want on the list. I'll bet a million bucks you won't choose ``Rock Lobster''.))

I've been to lots of swing this year - learning how, very hot in the Bay. Lots of fine groups there. Acme is probably my favorite.

Let's Go Bowling played, I brought a novice Ska dancer and we had a wild time dancing the brownian-motion, bouncing off everyone, urban vertical dancing that passes for wild ska here. Maybe the best non-blues dancing show of the year.

Surprisingly, the band that most inspired me, was one that I only went to see because my friend from South Africa wants to use their music for her wedding, and never imagined she would get out of S. Africa alive AND hear them. So, I went. I'm well familar with this band still alive from the 60s, world-famous, a local musician who grew up about a mile from where I've lived most of the time in SF, someone I saw perform at Bill Graham's death party, someone who rarely participates in local charities, but who blew me away. Okay, Carlos Santana. The most inspired music, dancing, crowd and me in a long time. Peace brothers and sisters!

Lots of other live acts this year, these are just the ones I loved.

CD's: I've restocked my collection after losing 2/3 to moving thieves on my 2nd move to Guam. Maybe I should claim that I have a juke box again that records my plays? Maybe I should claim that Counting Crows August and Everything After is still my favorite? Actually, I don't think I've listened to one CD more than any other. Annie Lennox, Jewel, Pretenders would probably be barely ahead.

One bomb, is a collection of blues artists performing Janis Joplin's/Big Brothers songs. Stay away.

I hope to read quite a few other reviews. They always inspire me to go get some new stuff and expand my knowledge a little.

Happy New Year Jim and fellow keyboard tappists.

Richard, rcw of

Pete Duxon (7/1/99)

Dear Jim, Hello again.

I found your piece on religion interesting. Americans give the impression of being religious, but are they? I suspect your average American goes to church more than your average Englishman, ((True, he or she does.)) but does that make them more religious? ((I agree, not necessarily.)) Going to church and reading the bible doesn't make you religious in my book. ((Nor in mine.)) Clinton's problem is he looks hypocritical or if you forgive me he suffers from something most of us this side of the pond think of his sort - a lack of sincerity. That is really harsh, I know, but I think there is something dodgy abut people who wear their religion like a shield ala Bill. (Of course us lot this side are probably a ``bit'' more repressed.) ((There is some media play over here about the ``Che Guevera'' series of ads in Britain, trying to change people's minds about the stodgy old church, reminding everyone that ``JC Guevera'' was a revolutionary figure, so thus can be the religious. This is NOT my experience of religious people and their organizations to their SEVERE detriment, in my view, but I thought I'd see if any of you Brits had any reaction to that.... you also might react to my comeback in ``Farts''. CHECK IT OUT!!!)) I bring Bill into it because he keeps going to church etc. and then ignores every tenet of his faith - OK we've all ``sinned'' but methinks he protests too much.

It's strange isn't it that although England and Scotland have ``state'' religions, religion isn't a big deal here. I think we treat it as much more of a personal thing. I'm not sure I've expressed the above very well. I just think going to church, praying, reading the bible, and saying ``I love God'' doesn't necessarily make you a good Christian, although I suppose being religious and a good Christian (Jew, Moslem) etc. are mutually exclusive.

As you may be aware, the highest rated postal player in the UK is a guy called Dave Horton who is a Jehovah Witness. I've played a couple of games with his wife and I asked Sue if Dip lies were conducive with being a good Christian. She reckons there are some Witnesses who would say they shouldn't play Dip for that reason, but she says you've got to have a sense of perspective. I suspect, Jim, some of the Moral Majority types would ban Dip. ((My position on this is very well stated in my Diplomacy World article of a couple of years back. A favorite bumper sticker over here goes ``the Moral Majority is neither''.))

You are quite right, Clinton would never have survived over here, not a hope in hell and.... wait for it... you won't believe this, but in this instance I think you've got it right. Hello, still there? ((Of course! I have to type this, you know!! If I weren't here, you wouldn't be reading this!!)) Clinton would be out over here because of the adultery stuff which is irrelevant. You would have to be insane to look for moral guidance from a politician!

I will have to admit I never followed all the ins and outs of the Paula Jones trial so I can't comment on the rights and wrongs.

How have you got to five centres? ((Read 'em and weep!)) You must be playing with amateurs. ((Perhaps, but only OK, Shark Chum! He's trying to butter me up now about how he's ``learning from me''. Yeah, right. I'm the Sword of Islam...... learn this!!))

McGuire? I think you are missing my point. I appreciate he has broken no rules and different sports have different rules. But I don't think his achievement is something to admire. ((Ah, a value judgment. Methinks we have a value judgment. I guess, just like politicians - even more so actually - I don't look to athletes for hero worship or moral guidance. I look for them for the fun of following athletic competition. It has been said, not original to me, that sports are the only entertainment where no one knows how it will all come out in the end. The uncertainty - can he or she do it??? - generates the excitement. Thus, I followed and rooted for McGuire all the way through. I give him no pedestal to stand on, it just made for a fun late summer!)) I have no understanding of the rules of baseball and find basketball tedious but like your football (yes, I know you don't!) and enjoy hockey a lot.

I'll do you a tape sometime, I'm a bit behind.

What was the view of the air strikes against Iraq. As one would expect ther ewas a lot of cynicism over here - very `wag the dog'. ((Actually, to avoid the cynicism, knowing that the politics couldn't be looked at without it, I found most people just kind of praying we would get through it without a disaster and lamenting the insanity of the whole situation, then ignoring it as much as possible - much as they were ignoring the concomitant impeachment hearings.))

I enjoyed Rick Desper's note. If Clinton gets impeached then why wasn't Reagan? ((Because Reagan didn't embarrass the Democrats the way Clinton embarrassed these Republicans. Rick had it right.)) I've probably waffled on long enough. But one last thing. Why are we celebrating on 31/12/99?! Me? I'll be asleep or working!! ((No comment!))

ttfn, Pete


``I have never learned ... to play the lyre, but I know how to make a small and obscure city rich and great." (Themistocles, in Plutarch's Lives.)

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904.

Standby lists: Mike Barno, John Breakwell, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Doug Kent, Paul Rauterberg, Stan Johnson, Harry Andruschak, Heath Gardner, Phil Reynolds, Dave Partridge, Andy York, Michael Pustilnik, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy. Mike Barno, Phil Reynolds, Jim Sayers, and Harry Andruschak stand by for the Colonial Diplomacy game. Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Phil Reynolds, Jim Sayers, and Paul Kenny stand by for the Modern Diplomacy game. Let me know if you want on or off these lists. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks. I'd really appreciate it if anyone wanted to be added to the lists.


One more regular game will be started now. You can send your $15 for your life of the game sub and game fee with NMR insurance. Roland Sasseville is the only one definitely set for the next regular Diplomacy game. Others have told me they want to play but haven't sent me money yet. This includes Harold Zarr (Harold and Roland should send money now).

I also am trolling for players for Colonia VIIb (we need nine in total - Austria, China, England, France, Netherlands, Ottomans, Portugal, Russia, and Spain). I have direct interest expressed from Scott Morris, David Partridge, Robert Stimmel, John Power, Paul Rauterberg, Gene Prosnitz, and Stan Johnson. I need two more players to begin.

I STILL am itching to get this Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Black Hole game started. I thought I had it filled, but then one person dropped out. You get a life of game sub, and the game itself is FREE!! Jody McCullough, Sandy Kenny, Mike Barno, Heath Gardner, John Schultz, Sara Reichert, Richard Weiss, Address is:

and ummmm, someone else [remind me?] are signed up. Off an offhanded suggestion in the NYEED press in the last game, we'll call it Nelson Mandela. Just ONE more and we'll get started! Come on, this one will be REALLY exciting!! Best of all, you will be feeding the GM's interests and winning immense numbers of Brownie Points.

Breaking Away has continual openings, see the sign-up list under the game below.

I have an opening for a game of Star Trek Diplomacy! See Stephen Agar's rules on his web page at:

There are two changes I am looking at when I start the game. First, I really want to name all the star systems after Star Trek locations. I have begun to do this already, but if someone wants to contribute significantly, or even volunteer to do it all, I will offer a free game start in the game. Second, after naming all of the systems, I think I want to nix the ``revolving rings'' rule. I'll take input on this idea. The game start is open now, and since I want to STRONGLY encourage press, you can sign up and ``claim'' a race. Species 8472 has been in two segments of Voyager and is a very intriguing diplomatic race (their episodes are the only Voyager episodes I've liked in the last year) and the rest of the races should be well known to all.

Conrad von Metzke is the editor and publisher of Pontevedria, the game openings listing, if you're interested in other game openings. Send Conrad a SASE for the latest issue to: Conrad von Metzke, 4374 Donald Avenue, San Diego, CA 92117 (E-Mail: metzke of Conrad is discussing folding this service. I think actually it needs someone to pick it up with a web page where it can be posted. I'd like to nudge Stephen Agar into talking to Conrad about taking it over and putting in the postal section on The Diplomatic Pouch page, where this szine also resides. This appears to be happening, though it is not official yet to my knowledge. This could serve both the Brit and US hobbies!! I realize that I should probably volunteer to do this since I'm the most active contributor to that page, but I'd really rather not. What we need is for the postal openings to be accessible on the Net.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: 1999 ???, Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy - Black Hole Variant


Winter 1900

AUSTRIA (S. Kenny): has f TRI, a VIE, a BUD; and five nukes.

ENGLAND (McCullough): has f LON, f EDI, a LVP; and five nukes.

FRANCE (Weiss): has f BRE, a MAR, a PAR; and five nukes.

GERMANY (Reichert): has f KIE, a BER, a MUN; and five nukes.

ITALY (Schultz): has f NAP, a ROM, a VEN; and five nukes.

RUSSIA (Gardner): has f STP(SC), f SEV, a WAR, a MOS; and four nukes.

TURKEY (Barno): has f ANK, a SMY, a CON; and five nukes.

Addresses of the Participants

Sandy Kenny, 23 East Coulter Avenue, Collingswood, NJ 08108-1208

Jody McCullough, 1071 Brown Avenue, Lafayette, CA 94549-3153

jodym of

Richard Weiss, Richard Weiss, 500 Beale St. # 104, San Francisco, CA 94105, (415) 512-7221

rcw of

Sara Reichert, 20805 Margaret, Carson, CA 90745-1224

John Schultz, #19390, W-M11L, Indiana Department of Correction,

Plainfield Correctional Facility, 727 Moon Road, Plainfield, IN 46168-9400

Heath Gardner, 3017 Mayview Road, Raleigh, NC 27607

bassoon of

Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883

mpbarno of

Game Notes:

1) May we have a Miller Number from the Miller Number Custodian, who is still supposed to be Lee Kendter, Jr.?

2) OK, quick reminder on how this goes. Each segment of the game lasts for two moves, Spring and Fall. AFTER the Spring move, you drop your nukes on any province (submit with your Spring orders, everyone gets five nukes except for Russia, who gets four). For the fall moves, in what makes this the Black Hole Variant, you may move between ANY two provinces that have Black Holes from nuke explosions occupying any provinces between them. Units may ``cross'' and armies and fleets may freely move over any nuked space (e.g. nukes in Adriatic Sea, Trieste, and Apulia - AUSTRIA: A Bud-Nap; ITALY: F Ion-Ser - both moves succeed with no other relevant units on the board). Supports also are allowed across Black Holes. After the fall move, centers are added up (nuked centers worth nada) and we ``rotate'' countries down (Sandy plays England next, while Mike moves up to play Austria, etc.) for seven rounds, so each player plays once with each country. Ask any questions that you might have about how this will work. I think it will be a hell of a lot of fun!!!

3) If you want another deadline or two to plan, it will take only two requests by the February 6th deadline to do so. Press will be taken beginning with that February 6th deadline.

4) Please fill in any contact information, E-Mail addresses and the like by next time, thanks! And happy nuking, go Slim Pickens!!!

COME AND HAVE A GO (If You Think You're Hard Enough): 1998 V, Diplomacy


Winter 1900

AUSTRIA (Pollard): has f TRI, a VIE, a BUD.

ENGLAND (Tallman): has f LON, f EDI, a LVP.

FRANCE (Morris): has f BRE, a MAR, a PAR.

GERMANY (Sayers): has f KIE, a BER, a MUN.

ITALY (Munson): has f NAP, a ROM, a VEN.

RUSSIA (Dwyer): has f STP(SC), f SEV, a WAR, a MOS.

TURKEY (Barno): has f ANK, a SMY, a CON.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone Nat'l Park, WY 82190 ($5)

ENGLAND: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($5)

terryt of

FRANCE: Scott Morris, 12110 Shelbyville Rd., Louisville, KY 40243 ($5)

Scottm221 of

GERMANY: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA ($10)

100233.513 of

ITALY: Scott Munson, PO Box 1042, Gardiner, MT 59030, ($5)

RUSSIA: Luke Dwyer, Colgate University, Box J 1262, 13 Oak Hill Drive, Hamilton, NY 13346,

(315) 228-4625 ($5) Ldwyer of

TURKEY: Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883 ($5)

mpbarno of

Game Notes:

1) If I need to correct or add any contact information above, please get it to me ASAP. Thanks! I had a phone number for Scott Munson, but it was disconnected while he went back east for awhile. He sent me his phone number, but I've misplaced it momentarily. I'll put it in next time.

2) We're all on track for the February deadline. I know you have a lot of time, but with an Australian in the game, you probably will need it.

3) Mr. von Metzke, thank you very much for the Boardman Number. The last one of the year for the fewest postal regular Diplomacy numbers given out in over three decades!


(IN THE PRIME MINISTER'S OFFICE): ``Hmmm, you've done an excellent job, Holmes. Pictures of all the usual six suspects. Now what can you tell me about them."

``Well, as one might expect several have very little in their past as far as the disruption of Empires and the like."

The PM looked at the pictures and then at Holmes, ``Surely you have some ideas...?"

``Well yes, we can run through them. The Italian was a bit of a surprise. He is actually a Montana Yeti, or Big Foot."

``You don't say!" exclaimed the surprised PM.

``No doubt about it. I tracked him through the woods and based on the size of the feet and the depth of the impressions he must be. And then there is the Frenchman. He appears to be part parrot. Repeats things back to whoever talks to him. You ask him a question and he repeats it as fact. Rather amusing if you ask the right questions. The Russian is some sort of reclusive monk. Hard to get hold of, reclusive, not very chatty if you get my drift."

The PM shuffled through the photos while Holmes continued, ``The Austrian seems eager to please and of course the German keeps singing about his boomarang not coming back in a sort of cockney accent."

The PM looked at Holmes in what might have been disbelief. ``What about this last one? This looks quite strange. The yellow skin, the bulging body, the bodies of half eaten children, who is this monster?"

Holmes swallowed briefly and went a little pale. ``That sir, is Barno...Barnie's evil twin...."

(ENGLAND to ALL): The week before deadline my e-mail was hosed so if you sent something I didn't receive it. Sorry.

SO GOOD IT HURTS: 1998 P, Regular Diplomacy



Spring 1901

AUSTRIA (K. Ozog): f tri-ALB, a vie-BUD, a bud-SER.

ENGLAND (James): f lon-ENG, f edi-NTH, a lvp-WAL.

FRANCE (Dwyer): f bre-MID, a mar-SPA, a par-PIC.

GERMANY (Goesle): f kie-DEN, a ber-KIE, a mun-BUR.

ITALY (Rauterberg): f nap-ION, a rom-VEN, a ven-TRI.

RUSSIA (Rusnak): f stp(sc)-GOB, f SEV-bla, a war-LVN, a mos-UKR.

TURKEY (Emmert): f ANK-bla, a con-BUL, a smy-CON.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Kurt Ozog, 1220 N. Ashbel Ave., Berkeley, IL., 60163, (708) 544-9330

kozog of

ENGLAND: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956 ($5)

dkbn of

FRANCE: Luke Dwyer, Colgate University, Box J 1262, 13 Oak Hill Drive, Hamilton, NY 13346, (315)

228-4625; School Breaks Only: 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($5)

Ldwyer of

GERMANY: Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235 ($5)

ITALY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($5)

prosit of

RUSSIA: Russ Rusnak, 1551 Highridge Avenue, Westchester, IL 60154-3428 ($5)

TURKEY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842 ($5)


Game Notes:

1) And here we go! Sorry about the delay getting started.


(GERMANY to ENGLAND): Who is the fool? Me? France? You? Someone else?

(ENGLAND to GM): Every game I ever play starts out the same way - If I believe everyone's mail, no one seems to have any interest in attacking anyone else, everyone is friendly and non-threatening, and no one has any offensive intentions. I can never figure out why I always end up in a war with someone. Any thoughts?

(GERMANY to FRANCE: Hopefully we bounced, because I really don't want to be in Burgandy. So many people told me you were coming for me I had to take precautions. I'd really like to be in Munich, since it sounds like someone else has designs on it to. If I've read this whole thing wrong (which certainly wouldn't be the first time) I'll make it right next move. If I've read it right: PPPPPPFFFFBBBBTTTTT!!!!!

(LONDON to ANKARA): So that's where I left my knife. Don't bother to return it, I won't need it this game. This time I can be trusted completely.

(GERMANY to ITALY): Just whose units are you playing? Russia has not been hostile to me in his letters. Just why do you want him in Sweden anyway?

(GERMANY to RUSSIA): As far as I'm concerned, we're at peace. At least until I see the move of course.

(GERMANY to TURKEY): Paranoid? In a Diplomacy game? I'm shocked!

(ENGLAND to FRANCE): If we bounced in the Channel, what I heard was correct - let's fix things before we both go nowhere. If I am in the Channel, I mean you no harm and we can still work things out. I just couldn't risk your being there.

(GOZ to OZOG): If nothing else, you have certainly livened up this game with your ... er ... imaginative plans. Keep it up.

(GERMANY to FRANCE): I lied. This time. But it was close.

(GERMANY to EVERYONE ELSE BUT FRANCE): I told the truth. This time. I hope.

(VENICE to TRIESTE): This somehow seemed easier than a ``Long March" to London or Paris!

(GERMANY to RUSSIAN RUSS): Are you on email yet?

(KAISER to SULTAN): Nike has a new shoe for you. ``Ambulance Chasers". Specially made for those attorneys who go the extra mile.

(KAISER to BOARD): Win, lose or draw, this is the best communicated game I've been involved with. Don't make me eat these words next turn.



Turn 2 - Revisited

17 (replenish with a 3): Mopsy, Will Shakespeare
16 (no replenishment): Empty
15 (replenish with a 3): Broke Leg Meg, Shane the Chain
14 (replenish with a 5): Barkin' Larkin', Alessandro Cyclotron, Stan Marsh, Flopsy, Alfred the Great
13 (replenish with a 10): Eric Cartman, Chasin' Jason, Cottontail, Moe
12 (replenish with a 14): Peter, Damon Velodrome
11 (replenish with a 16): Kenny McCormick, Christoph Wheelhub, John Logie-Baird
10 (replenish with a 19): Larry, Curly, Kyle Broslofski, Bernard Spoke, Sir Isaac Newton
9 (replenish with a 24): Shemp

Addresses of the Participants - Their Team and Their Cards

TEAM 1 (Farmer McGregor's Dinner): Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02492

72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

A: Flopsy 5 7 8 9
B: Mopsy 3 8 9
C: Cottontail 10 7 11
D: Peter 4 14 3

TEAM 2 (Chef's Crackers): Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY

desper of

Coach is, of course, Chef
A: Stan Marsh (aka the Star Quarterback) 5 7 11 9
B: Kyle Broslofski (aka the Lonely Jew) 19 8 10
C: Kenny McCormick (aka the Pov) 16 3 9
D: Eric Cartman (aka the FatAss) 10 3 6

TEAM 3 (Goz Transportation Co.): Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235

gozcorp of

A: Alessandro Cyclotron 5 6 10 8
B: Bernard Spoke 15 8 19
C: Christoph Wheelhub 16 8 9
D: Damon Velodrome 3 8 14

TEAM 4 (Brit Pack): John Harrington, 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex, EN1 3UW UK

johnh of

A: Alfred the Great 1 4 5 15
B: Sir Isaac Newton 3 15 19
C: Will Shakespeare 4 3 3
D: John Logie-Baird 6 5 16

TEAM 5 (The Stoogecycles): David Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722

rebhuhn of

A: Curly 19 8 15
B: Larry 19 12 6
C: Moe 10 10 7
D: Shemp 24 11 7

TEAM 6 (The Flat Wheel Society): John Schultz, #19390, W-M11L, Indiana Department of Correction,

Plainfield Correctional Facility, 727 Moon Road, Plainfield, IN 46168-9400

A: Broke Leg Meg 3 15 3
B: Shane the Chain 3 3 10
C: Barkin' Larkin' 5 5 6
D: Chasin' Jason 10 6 3

Game Notes:

1) I'll say it again, keep checking me here. Using Keith Thomasson's postal rules do not seem to be helping me here, I have had to delay the game as I've added points to the cards at the back of the pack. Since it doesn't say anywhere that you can't replenish with higher cards than 15's, based on complaints, I have decided that the players are right.

2) Since I like this game and am learning how to do this and have to put my new knowledge to good use, I will start another game. I'll keep the sign-up list here so that interested parties will see it as they peruse the szine. All games will start when they have precisely six players and for the moment I will keep the game opening list always on. This game will continue to be free, like Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire. Currently in line for the next game are: Eric Brosius and John Schultz.


(PACK-BRIT PACK): Now you know how Newt feels. It doesn't help to be right in theory if the great American population is too stupid to understand your brilliant plan.

(TTWS-EMBARRASSED): Refreshing? How terribly polite and British of you. We Americans have always been an impatient lot, and we learn fast.

(FARMER-BOOB): I am capable of the TEX perhaps, but not of the German.

(JAILBIRD-CHEF): Well, yes - I did - but only for a moment. I'm an experience learner and it took the first turn to figure out that I was thinking wrong strategically.

(BOOB to JAILBIRD): I think I figured out the experience learner part already! Here's to hoping your medical and living situation problems are set free soon!! The experience part, I hope, will not lead to either one recurring!!!

(BUNNIES-CHEF): Yes,  Mopsy seems to need some tortoise genes.

(CREATOR to STOOGES): In the face to face version moving is sequential, not simultaneous, with the rider at the front going first and the one at the back moving last. Thus you get to see what squares those in front of you have moved to, but you never know what those riders behind you are going to do .... until they have done it to you. Although it is not officially mentioned in the rules in the face to face version I prefer for it to be optional as to whether players reveal what cards they have - the exception being when someone feels there has been an error in card allocation. Certainly the game plays a lot quicker face to face if you deny players perfect information but some groups might prefer to make it more of a mathematical exercise.

NOW MIGHT BE A BAD TIME to remind some of you that sprint points are allocated on a first past the post basis, not a furthest past the post basis.

(WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE): The only way I am going to win this race is in a (fuc)King Lear jet.

FEAR AND WHISKEY: 1998Ers31, Modern Diplomacy


Summer 1997

BRITAIN (Schultz): has f NOR, a BRI, f SWE, f MOR, f BIS, f ENG.

EGYPT (J. O'Donnell): has f LBS, a ESA, a ALE, f LIB, a IRN, f EME.

FRANCE (Andruschak): R a swi-PIE; has f AUV, f GOL, a LYO, f SAO, a PIE, a NAV, a BAR.

GERMANY (Rauterberg): has a MUN, a PRU, a SIL, a ALS, a SWI, f BHM, a PIC,

f DEN, a CZE.

ITALY (Ozog): has a AUS, f ION, a MIL, f TYS, a HUN, f SER.

POLAND (Sasseville): has a WAR, a BIE, f GDA, f LIT, a KRA, a MOS.

RUSSIA (Goranson): has a GOR, a STP, a MUR.

SPAIN (S. O'Donnell): has a POR, f TUN, a AND, a MAD.

TURKEY (Pollard): has a KAZ, a ANK, a IST, a CAU, f AEG, a ALB.

UKRAINE (Partridge): R a mos-CRP; has f EBS, a DON, a CRP, f WBS,

a KIE, a VOL, a POD, a BUL, f ROS.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: John Schultz, #19390, W-M11L, Indiana Department of Correction,

Plainfield Correctional Facility, 727 Moon Road, Plainfield, IN 46168-9400

EGYPT: Jeff O'Donnell, 402 Middle Ave., Elyria, OH 44035-5728, (440) 322-2920 ($5)

FRANCE: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202 ($5)

GERMANY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

ITALY: Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138, (360) 691-4264 ($5)

ElfEric of

POLAND: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

roland6 of

RUSSIA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532, (716) 876-9374 ($4)

ForlornH of

SPAIN: Sean O'Donnell, 126 S. Park, Oberlin, OH 44074, (440) 774-2928 ($5)

TURKEY: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190, ($10)

UKRAINE: Dave Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722, (603) 882-3523 ($9)

rebhuhn of

Game Notes:

1) Check out the Modern Dip web page at: Cyberia/modern.htm

2) Note the slight adjustment in John Schultz' address.


(THE MEKONS QUOTE OF THE MONTH): ``From the night beyond the drawn shades a drum roll, a distant chord chiming like a death knell; your blood moves - only the music can speak for a soul lost in such depths. The Sinning 'n Prayin' MEKONS. Winter comes to Chicago. The Judgement of Solomon. From SIN 002 Crime and Punishment.

(ANDRUSCHAK-GM): TAP #212 with a deadline of 12 December arrived on 29 December, after the usual hectic Christmas period at the Post Office. I will be on vacation 17-30 January, again on the sailing ship MANDALAY, part of the Windjammer Barefoot Cruises fleet. One minor problem is that my allotted vacation slot was 16-29 January. Normally this should be no problem, as I could ask for a change in scheduled days off to cover this. But my current Supervisor says he won't give it to me, no reason given. So I had to charge an extra day of vacation time. And the managers at the Post Office wonder why morale is so low?

(SWITZERLAND to JIM BURGESS): Um, when you say you approve of self abuse, especially when you do it yourself, you ARE aware that in some circles the term ``self abuse'' means masturbation?

(BOOB to SWISS): Duh.... if you have to explain a joke, especially a triple entendre....

(SPAIN to TURKEY): The French Ambassador. You had him.

(FRANCE to SPAIN): Congratulations on not NMRing or resigning your position. I was sort of expecting you to do so, since that is what you did in Mike Lowrey's zine after being stabbed. Fragile masculine ego? I suppose it WAS a shock, as Russia, to be stabbed down from 5 SCs to 2 SCs in the year 1902. And by a mere girl, too.

(SUBSCRIBERSHIP to JEFF): Take a look at the title of this 'zine, and then you'll find the true meaning of TAP, asap!

(PALACE OF VERSAILLES): Prime Minister Andruschak gazed lovingly at the new torture device. For this grand occasion he had adopted the uniform of the Castrated Greeks Brigade that included the ultra-short skirt in place of pants. The rest of the brigade, also in their skirts, awaited the prisoner. Screams of terror from Jonas Johnson filled the clearing as the guards dragged him to his fate. ``A perfect replica of that ride from Disneyland, only you are condemned to ride it FOREVER. If we get our hands on John Schultz, he will join you. Thus do we treat those who betray us. Start the ride!''

And it began, slowly at first, then speeding up. Tic... toc... tic... toc... and the music started. The boat and its shrieking prisoner vanished into the tunnel, to the chorus of ``It's a Small World After All.''

Andruschak turned to the Canadian Ambassador, who had asked to attend the event. ``There will be room for Jim Burgess and the rest of the TAP readership who do not know who the current Prime Minister of Canada is.''

(A GENERAL STATEMENT): Having fought limited two front wars as Russia, England and Germany in regular Diplomacy, I can say that they've generally been quite limiting on both fronts (one front drawing forces from the other, and/or attracting one too many extra foes to battle simultaneously).

Here, finally, I've found a position in a variant where a two-front war can be practical-not just situationally mandated. Forces can be allocated to both sides equally (or as needed); additional builds can be sent to one front or another with equal facility and speed.

Also, this makes having two or more independent alliances safe and practical: I don't have to ``make excuses" to one for my partnership with the other, and I can keep different allies entirely separate with differing goals and aspirations.

Neat! And reviewers have condemned Modern Dip Germanies as ``weak" powers? Bah!

(HARRY ANDRUSCHAK-JEFF O'DONNELL): Whilst it is true that currently I am a registered Democrat as far as the California Primary goes, the fact remains that I supported Goldwater in 1964. Indeed, I used to be one of those Moderate Republicans that have been chased out of the GOP by the extreme right. I suppose I could vote Libertarian, but that party is really too small to make any impact. ((Interesting question on ``third parties'', it seems clear that more people support these parties than actually vote for them. Our ``winner take all election system contributes to the incentive not to ``reveal'' your vote. All these pollsters could do the system a big favor by asking a second question, after asking for whom you would vote. ``If you knew the candidate you voted for would win, who would you vote for?" It would be really interesting in a long race if results of such pollings were presented side by side to see if third party candidates gained strength as people realized what would happen if they ALL voted for the candidate they really wanted.)) As long as the GOP pushes a fundamentalist christian agenda, I guess I'll have to vote as a Democrat. Just one of the many reasons... abortion. It was once the case that the GOP wanted to get the heavy hand of the government off the back of the working man. Fine with me. So why do they want the heavy hand of the government on the vagina of the working woman? The party that used to decry Big Government and its intrusive activities feels no qualms in Big Government and intrusive activities if it supports the extreme christians' agenda. Go figure. My conversion from Republican to Democrat started in 1968. No way was I going to vote for any party that considered Nixon worthy of being the President.

(LATIN BLACK PRESSER to JIM BURGESS): Merus Stupor, quod solium subluto podice perdis, spurcius ut fiat, inepte, merge caput.... ((Bring it on, more, more, you're earning lots of Brownie Points that you can use to abuse other players.... that's what you REALLY want, right??)) Quintessential cretin, you ruin a bath by rinsing your rear end in it, but if you really want to insult it, nitwit, stick your head in it.

(AMBASSADOR ATÄTURK PÖ-LLARD to AMBASSADOR PARTRIDGE): There will be a week of mourning for the brave Turkish fleet who was entirely annihilated in the Black Sea. I salute your move into Don. The fleet had been ordered to retreat there and threaten Ukraine territory. You fight well...

(FRANCE-RUSSIA): Thus do we grind the Evil Empire into flesh, bones, marrow and entrails.... oops, sorry, wrong game.

(GREECE to PARIS; SPEAKING IN A HIGH SOPRANO): Your tour of Turkey has left your nation open to aggression. Give Battle! We need you to live in order for us to seek vengeance in our own way!

(FRANCE-EGYPT): I saw Ross Perot on TV last night, insisting that Clinton resign for violating his oath of marriage. It never really feels like Christmas until there's a fruitcake in the living room.

(IRAQ to EGYPT): Sons of uncircumcized camels! Our leader is still in power. Saddam could not be destroyed by the Turks or even the Americans! You will be no different!

(ANDRUSCHAK-WORLD): For the first time in 30 years, Cubans were allowed to celebrate Christmas. But Santa Claus was still banned. It seems that Santa likes the color red, has a beard, and smokes.

(THE TURKISH MINISTRY to THE AMBASSADOR OF FRANCE): Though Turkey is predominantly a nation of Muslims, we do contain a sizable number of Christian and Jewish citizens. As you mentioned, Turkey is a crossroads of peoples, History, and Time....

(FRANCE-EVIL WESTERN TRIPLE): TAP #212 arrived a few days ago, and it looks as if I am soon to be eliminated. I sort of wish you could have waited until I had removed Spain. Now I have to break off my attack and let him live.

(SPEAKER OF THE TURKISH SENATORIAL COMMITTEE to AMBASSADOR RAUTERBERG): Your letter was forwarded to us recently. Ambassador Pö-llard has made reservations about its contents. We the committee agree. We do not appreciate your criticism not your open arrogance pertaining to our military's movements. Frankly, if we need advice, we will ask for it. Also, perhaps you should mention that it was your office that suggested the ``slowing down of Ukrainian expansion''! You have begun a dangerous diplomatic trend. Assuming too much....

(FRANCE-TURKEY): I received your letter on 15 December, but decided to hold off a reply since the TAP #212 deadline was so close, and I was snowed under at work, ((Whew, for a second there, when I saw snowed under, I thought a White Christmas hit Southern California and no one told me!)) at AA, and in correspondence after my three week vacation. But TAP was delayed, I was overwhelmed at work, lost track of what was going on, and have been well and truly stabbed by E/G/I so I am breaking off my attack on Spain and going over to stout defense.

As you might expect, December was hell month at the Post Office as we worked 7 days a week, which in my case meant I worked 7 December-3 January without a day off. That is why I sent in those stupid Spring 1997 moves. Nothing like fatigue to bring about a lapse in attention. Too bad for me, but good luck for Spain. And as the Philosopher Doctor Shack ye Quack once said.... ``In Diplomacy there are no rewards or punishments, there are only consequences.''

As for you, I do note Egypt's move into Iran and the Eastern MED. And Ukraine is doing interesting things in the Black Sea. The fall 1997 adjudication should make things clearer as to how the game will progress.

(AMBASSADOR PÖ-LLARD to AMBASSADOR OZOG): You have indeed flexed your nation's muscles. I thank you for Italy's courage and I agree that we need to sit down at one of our coffee houses. I can provide an excellent green tea blend for you...

(ANDRUSCHAK-ROTTERBURG): To answer your questions in your letter of 6 January, yes, Post Office workers get lots of vacation time, starting at 13 days per year, and ending up after 15 years of Federal Service with 26 days per year. (This includes my 10 years in the US Navy). However, it is an on-going battle to USE your vacation time for vacations. The Post Office wants you to save it up, as they ``encourage'' you to use your vacation time when sick. We also get 13 days per year of Sick Leave, but as noted you are `encouraged'' to use vacation leave, not sick leave.

Anyhow, the Post Office allots vacation times with a clumsy system based on seniority, not merit, that gives me a two week period somewhere in January through March, and a 3 week period somewhere in April-November. (Don't even THINK about vacation in December.)

As for not building more fleets for use against Britain, I wanted to hold off on that until the situation with Egypt/Spain was clear. Or maybe you have not noted the sea battles going on in the Med?

(BRIT-HUN): Thank you. That was very useful. It will warm my winter and offer hope for the spring.

(THE SULTAN to THE NATION OF POLAND): You fight like a Devil! That is a good thing, for what better way to fight against another Devil! ``Allah surely shines upon your people.''

(BRIT-HARRY): Sorry, guy! I'm glad I didn't make you any promises though. I would have missed my opportunity. Perhaps we'll find a place to hang your postal cap.

(TURKISH THIRD ARMY to THE RUSSIAN HIGH COMMAND): What say you? Is it not the time to join in the ``Mother of all Battles''!?

(BRIT-YOUNG SPANISH FELLOW): Did you even notice my assistance?

SHOW ME THE MONEY: 1997Mea04, Colonial Diplomacy



Fall 1904

BRITAIN (York): f ADEN S f rs, a afg-TAS, a raj-KAR, f RS S TURKISH a egy,

f HK S f nan-can, f SIN-mal, a TIB-ass, f SHI h, f AS S f mal-ban,

a ass-u.bur (d r:ben,otb), f NAN-can, f MAL-ban (NCS, imp).

CHINA (Goranson): a sha S JAPANESE a (d ann), a CHU-can.

FRANCE (Sasseville): a TON S a can, f coc-GOS, f gos-BAN(EC), f SCS-hk,

a CAN S f scs-hk, a may-RAN, a yun-ASS, a U.BUR S a yun-ass, f FOR h.

HOLLAND (Desper): f TS S f js, f bor-SAR, f JS S f sun.s, f sul.s-CEBU,

a SUM h, f SUN.S h, f LS h.

JAPAN (Dwyer): a KYU-nan, a VLA S a, f UP S f ecs, f ECS C a kyu-nan,

a, f OS S a vla, f YS S a, f SOJ S a vla, a SEO S a

RUSSIA (Williams): a bok-PER, a IRK h, a baku-TAB, f MED-egy, a ang-ARM,

a MON S a sik, f mac-SHA, a BAG h, a uru-KAG, a PEK S f mac-sha, a SIK S a uru-kag,

a LAN-nan, f SYR S f med-egy.

TURKEY (Tallman): f goa-ARA.S, a EGY S f sud, f SUD S a egy.

Supply Center Chart

BRITAIN (York): DEL,BOM,ADEN,MAD,HK,SIN, (has 11 or 12, bld 2(r:otb) or 1)
CHINA (Goranson): CHU (has 1, even)
FRANCE (Sasseville): TON,COC,ANN,can,may,ran,ban, (has 9, bld 1)
HOLLAND (Desper): BOR,SUM,JAVA,SAR,new,dav, (has 7, bld 1)
JAPAN (Dwyer): TOK,KYU,OTA,KYO,vla,fus,sak, (has 9, bld 1),seo,mac
RUSSIA (Williams): MOS,OMSK,ODE,rum,sik, (has 13, bld 1)
TURKEY (Tallman): EGY,sud (has 3, rem 1)
Neutral: none (Total=58)

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Andy York, PO Box 201117, Austin, TX 78720-1117

wandrew of

CHINA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532, (716) 876-9374 ($5)

ForlornH of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($8)

Djrolandb of

HOLLAND: Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY (E-Mail)

desper of

JAPAN: Luke Dwyer, Colgate University, Box J 1262, 13 Oak Hill Drive, Hamilton, NY 13346, (315)

228-4625; School Breaks Only: 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($4)

Ldwyer of

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947 ($6)

wllmsfmly of

TURKEY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($0)

ttallman of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) All quiet here. I'm still depressed about this game. Can't we have some enlivening stuff?? I could orphan you if you don't communicate with me.... well, no, I wouldn't, but I want you guys to have fun!

2) Bangkok has two coasts and Britain needed to specify one of them for his move. NCS stands for No Coast Specified.


(F to HOLLAND): I hope I am wrong but ``Et Tu Ricke".





01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11
AUSTRIA (Terry Tallman)  3  2  2 *3  1  1  0 - - - -
Eliminated Winter 1907
ENGLAND (Tom Nash)  4  5  4  4  4  4  5  6  8  8  9
Resigned Fall 1903;
(Michael Lowrey) Drew Winter 1911
FRANCE (Paul Rauterberg)  4  5  5  5  5  5  5  6  8 11  8
Drew Winter 1911
GERMANY (Doug Kent)  5  5  6  6  6  7  7  7  4  1  0
Eliminated Winter 1911
ITALY (Simon Billenness)  4  4  4  3  4  3  3  0 - - -
Eliminated Winter 1908
RUSSIA (Ken Peel)  7  8  7  8  7  5  4  2  1  1  1
Resigned Summer 1901;
(Don Williams) Survived Winter 1911
TURKEY (Peter J. Gaughan, IV)  5  5  6  5  7  9 10 13 13 13 16
Resigned Summer 1905;
(Keith Sherwood) Drew Winter 1911

* = Played one short

GM: Jim Burgess, The Abyssinian Prince.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($7)

ttallman of

ENGLAND: Michael Lowrey, 4322 Water Oak Road, Charlotte, NC 28211

mlowrey of

ENGLAND EMERITUS: Tom Nash, 202 Settlers Road, St. Simons Island, GA 31522, (912) 634-1753 ($4)

75763.707 of CompuServe.COM

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($5)

prosit of

GERMANY: Doug Kent, 10214 Black Hickory Rd., Dallas, TX 75243 (214) 234-8386 ($5)

73567.1414 of CompuServe.COM

ITALY: Simon Billenness, 33 Lancaster Terrace, Apt. 211, Brookline, MA 02446, (617) 731-1419 ($5)

sbillenness of

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947

wllmsfmly of

RUSSIA EMERITUS: Ken Peel, 12041 Eaglewood Court, Silver Spring, MD 20902, (301) 949-4055 ($5)


TURKEY: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367 ($4)

ksher of or Keith_Sherwood of

TURKEY EMERITUS: Pete Gaughan, 502 Mt. Dell Drive, Clayton, CA 94517-1503, (925) 673-3396 ($4)

gaughan of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes (back from the tropopause):

1) This is the last issue for this game. Next issue, I'll drop this game out and those of you above getting game subs will be on your own. The default for those of you who aren't involved elsewhere is that I apply your remaining NMR insurance money to issues of the szine.

End Game Statements (more are welcome!):

ZR Invitational Endgame statement, England

Not much to say about this one. When I came in 1903, England was at four and heading down. Though England and Germany were allied against France, that attack was not likely to succeed before Russia was going to eat England. I promptly turned around and fought Russia, who was in the Norwegian Sea and trying for the North Sea. Luckily, Germany and France worked with me. That's right, it was a EFG, though the goal, as much as anything else, was to stop the allied tandem of Russia and Turkey.

In this effort, over time, we did achieve some success. Russia was stopped in its tracks and beaten back, with Scandanavia and later Russian home centers falling to the Anglo-German assault. France was bottled up in the Med against the rapidly growing Turk.

The question was what to do next. Turkey was at 13 or so, with some weakly defended dots in front of him. EFG were allied, but Doug was becoming less communicative all the time. I personally thought the game was headed for a 4-way draw (at best) for me. I was at six, with, after St. Petersburg fell, nothing really to do.

France had been wanting to stab Germany for some time. I talked him out of attacking for several turns,my concern being that Turkey might grab Munich if we did to win the game. Finally,the board position was such that it was worth a shot. Paul and I went for it. The attack was, I must admit, very well coordinated and well thought out. Of course, it didn't hurt matters that Doug pretty much rolled over and played dead.

After destroying Doug (we took 5 of his centers in two years) and holding securely 17 centers, the outcome of this game was a foregone conclusion. Congratulations to Keith Sherwood and Paul Rauterberg for their fine play and to Duck for hanging in there for a survival. And, of course, to Jim for his excellent job of GMing.

Michael Lowrey

((Thanks, Michael, for playing.... and for being the ZR editor!!))

COLUMBUS CHILL: 1993 J, Regular Diplomacy


Winter 1920

AUSTRIA (Davis): has a BUD.

FRANCE (Zarr): rem f mid, f gas; has a MAR, a POR, f SPA(NC).

GERMANY (Jones): bld a ber, f kie; has a BER, f KIE, f BEL, f ENG, f LON, a BUR, a GAL,

a MOS, a VIE, a BOH, a MUN, a TYO, a BRE,

a PAR, a UKR, f IRI, f NAO.

TURKEY (Weiss): has a BUL, f TUS, f BLA, a RUM,

a VEN, a TRI, a SER, f GOL, a SEV,

f WES, f NAF, f PIE, f ADR.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Rick Davis, 2009 Bodega Avenue, Petaluma, CA 94952, (707) 773-1044

redavis914 of

FRANCE: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

GERMANY: Charles Jones, 1722 Quail Circle, Corona, CA 91720-4155, (909) 735-8981

RUSSIA: Eric Schlegel, 314 Fords Lane, Aberdeen, MD 21001, (410) 272-3314

TURKEY: Richard Weiss, 500 Beale St. # 104, San Francisco, CA 94105, (415) 512-7221

rcw of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) All draws and concessions are still rejected. With spring orders please vote on a concession to Germany, and FG, FGT, GT, and FGTA draw proposals.


(FRA-GER): I guess my last press must have hit a little too close to home for comfort. Let me know how I can best support you into my final three supply centers so that you can win the game. You deserve them.

(Turkey who survived both Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners to Germany the Germ who survived both Pasteur and Listeur): I'm not even sure you will have 18 next year, but when you do get there, your sweet little ally will be quite little - with only two SCs - what an ally (I'm not sure which of you I'm referring to). How sweet will it be to you to be given the game?

(GERMANY >> > TURKEY): I didn't think that your press had a boundary of reasonableness. Ever since you started playing in this game, the press got bizarre. This is the first game that I have played in that someone else writes press for me. Either you or one of your (?) friends from another game? Someday maybe you'll tell me who? ((I've been inputting it, and ***I*** can't even remember any more....)) By the way, in the other games, the press didn't cross the boundary. Maybe it's just this game or maybe it is the way you write press, letters, and play this game. Who knows? ((Don't forget to blame the GM.... I'm at least partly responsible.))

I know of a few draw lines. ((Tedious typing of draw lines omitted.... that is my number one least favorite subject, even exceeding Western Triples....))

You could have had a solo victory earlier. Now you have many options, why don't you exercise them? You could kill Austria. I've asked Austria to support me and if he ever gets sick of this game, or you, he could really screw you up. You made Harold so mad that he is throwing the game to me, something that is hard to do. I've played with Harold before and he never got mad at another player. So you could start being reasonable and make some kind of proposal that we can all agree on? The only other option that you have is to hope that you can always make the right moves so I don't get that last center.

(HOF-TUR): Get over it. Five seconds from now, Jones won't remember how he won, only that he won. He will still get his HOF points and whupped you fair and square.

(TUR-GM): How much is a year-long sub anyway? The checks in the mail and I didn't come on it. ((About $17.... how do you make a whore moan? Forget to pay her!!))

Personal Note to You:

File translated from TEX by TTH, version 1.66.