November 24, 1998

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287

Accessible through Internet at burgess of; FAX to (401) 277-9904

We have ALL the subszines in this issue and it looks to be a blowout. I had lots more (including some letters) - in fact one person sent me a card and didn't sign it with some more Civil War comments and an ``anti-Tinamou" - pictures only - comment. Ring any bells? Step up and claim it before the next issue when I may print it anyway. I also had some stuff I wanted to say and am holding that too. Read and enjoy:


The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada, a bargain at twice the price.... but you can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and new game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $15.00 ($10.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). I am going to defer rate increases for the moment, but only until the current series of game starts is completed. Remember that music comments and reviews are scattered through the game press at times. These prices are due to increase in the near future so take advantage of them now.

Check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch with all of the information you need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at:

Through Stephen Agar's (having recently taken this over from Jamie McQuinn) Postal portion of the Pouch:

the szine resides in html format. Presently, issues from #190 to the current issue are there, and I will be updating the back issues gradually in the near future.

The most recent issue also can be accessed through David Wang's and Pete Sullivan's web pages. David has grabbed and reserved the HIGHLY prized name:!! His ``version'' of this szine is somewhat more html.friendly than the one I created, so please check it out.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!!


This is now going to be a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Garret Schenck or Jerry Lucas or Dan Stafford is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Bid on PDORA items, subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for. This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.

John Michalski (Mon, 16 Nov 1998 21:43:38 -0600)

Hi Jim. Thank you for the monster #210 that arrived in Saturday's mail. Yes, there were a lot of familiar names: I'm surprised to see that so many have stuck it out in Dipdom. In the decade or so that I was active, the game part got pretty tired; even the regional Cons hardly had any Dip toward the end, as I recall. My own Brutus Bulletin probably paid little more than lip service to the game in its latter issues, being mostly letters and discussion. Maybe the last 2/3s.

When I got Glenn's letter to send, I thought the information requested was for verification purposes; didn't expect to see it all in print. Oh, well. ((I thought some of your old friends might want to contact you directly.)) I'm opening two more postal THIRD REICH games (4th edition, campaign games, 3 player format), so perhaps the advertising will do me good? Or do most Dippers still form a cross with their fingers, and back away from The Sign Of The Hexagon? ((I think you might indeed get some bites. Perhaps even John Caruso would be interested!!))

In your response to the `letter', you made the statement ``Check out Kathy's situation below..." Sorry, I looked, but never found any Kathy stuff. Saw Kathy Caruso's name as a player further back, but that was it. ((That's what I meant, but I wanted you to look at her SITUATION in the game. Then, see this issue's game results....)) I see she's still at that same old Norristown address. On the other hand, I did see a lot of waxing nostalgic for ``Uncle Bernie"! Sort of like walking into a chat room and finding a group of aging Stalinists crying in their beer about the good old days under Uncle Joe... ((Perhaps.... I hope we are doing a little more than that.))

I thought Paul Rauterberg's item about the fellow in prison having mail problems was pertinent. One of my best players is salted away in Iowa, and he too has occasional delays, while neanderthal staffers try to figure out what a wargame zine is. If they can at all.

It was interesting to see all the net references in the addresses. Two years ago, probably half or more of my gamers and GMs had online access-altho half of them had it only at work-but in the past year, it has dropped way OFF. I would have thought that if an old stick-in-the-mud like myself gets into at least part of this fast system out there, almost everyone else would arleady be way ahead of me. (It's not difficult to do!) But right now, of 6 active games, I have exactly 1 person who regularly reads his mail, and another that can get to it once a week or so. That's IT. Pathetic. And strange. ((I do understand that you have to either be able to ``control yourself on the Internet'' or stay away from it so you can live a real life. I use this as a tool. I like to write. I have to talk too much on my job and I like using E-Mail and finding things, but I almost never just ``surf''. All things considered, I check mail A LOT, but spend very little time on the Internet. That's the way to do it in my eyes.))

Well, thanks for the free sub. The music and press stuff gets fast priority to the recycle bin, but I appreciate this ``window on the hobby" as it were. It's kind of like getting up from your grave, and peeking in the window to watch how survivors and descendents are getting along-a trip with the Ghost of Christmas Future. Thanks.

John Michalski, Oklahoma City, dr3r4 of

Terry Tallman (Thu, 15 Oct 1998 13:32:24 -0700 (PDT))

(Sigh) I didn't even know what feuding was in those days. And being in Bernie's szine and not feuding was like being a blind man at an x-rated movie. ``They are doing WHAT????"

Speaking of which, I was in San Antonio, Texas one time on government business and I asked to be put up in a motel close to the work site. Turned out they were on the east side of town near a clover leaf and the motel was mostly frequented by truckers.

I figured the nice young ladies with big hair and small outfits might be off duty house keepers but they smiled at me a lot more than most hotel staff.

Then I get to my room, a nice Motel 6 sort of room. All the basics, clean, functional. And after unpacking a bit start to channel surf. They had all the basics AND they had the Triple XXX network.

Through the use of potentially Oscar quality camera work I watched every sexual act I had ever performed, dreamed of, worried about, and a bunch that I had to take notes on, without ONCE being able to see actual penetration. I suppose that was in case someone with children was staying in a motel in the middle of Texas and had to leave the kids alone with the TV for a bit.

The kids would just have to assume that like Barbie and Ken these people had no sexual organs and just liked bumping together in all those different ways and yelling and screaming like that.

Reminds me in a way of pro wrasslin'.

Speaking of mind wrassler's, is Markle Farkle Berch still out there? I don't see Dip World so I have no idea who has taken over the title of most arrogant player/writer in the hobby. I could have been a contender but I think there was some sort of requirement that you had to take the hobby seriously and by extension your presence in it. Steve Emmert seems like a potential rising star but he needs to get a lot nastier first. ((No word from Berch in years. He isn't Number One on my search for list, but I might get around to him sooner or later. I think Emmert has the potential, but will never realize it. It won't be because he isn't capable, but because he doesn't have quite the ego for it.))

Boy am I having trouble, as a 48 year old dipster, explaining how I spend the time that I do on a Hasbro game.

Terry, ttallman of

((I'll print your note and comment in the szine. I, of course, am also proud of my relationship to Uncle Bernie (remember I knew him before you did!!), although it isn't usually politic to say so. I've lost touch with Bernie, although his son James Alan Tretick was playing in games recently that I saw (recall, he played as James Alan with a maildrop). I really should make BERNIE the next search!!! In fact, I will make him the next one early (see above).))


The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 3UW, UK (johnh of or JHarrington of The representives in Australia (John Cain, PO Box 4317, Melbourne University 3052, AUSTRALIA) or Belgium and some other European countries (Jef Bryant, Rue Jean Pauly, 121, B-4430 ANS, BELGIUM) also will forward your subscription on to the editor in either Australian dollars or continental European currencies respectively. Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

A discussion is taking place that will address what stance we (the hobby) should take (proactive in some way for sure) toward Hasbro, the new owners of the rights to Diplomacy. If you want to be part of the discussion, send the MESSAGE:

subscribe hasbro

to majordomo of, it works just like the tap mailing list described below. Sending messages to hasbro of sends the mail to the whole list.

The game Diplomacy is a copyrighted product owned by Hasbro and all reproductions or other use of that material in this szine is intended to be personal use and not infringe on those rights in any way. All reproductions are done at a heavy financial loss to the editor and thus are without the remotest possibility of commercial intent, except to promote THE game, the Game of Diplomacy, which you all should purchase from Hasbro or other duly licensed distributors.

John Schultz (11-15-98)

Jim, Let me know if you get a response from these people. ((the security people)) They won't answer me. I've filed a grievance - 1st step to a suit - but they haven't confiscated any more mail.

Take care, John, #19390, Marion County Jail II, 730 East Washington Street, Indianapolis, IN 46202

Paul Rauterberg (Fri, 13 Nov 1998 01:12:42 -0600)

Hi, Jim: I received a letter from John this morning, saying that there should not be further problems along as we do not use game abbreviations. We'll have to remember what each of those Modern Dip codes stand for! On the outside of the letter was the stamped message: ``Marion County Jail II is not responsible for contents of letter nor has it been censored." Hooray! Chalk one up for ``freedom of speech"!

((The SZINE is FULL of codes..... what a field day that would be, yet it gets through. Strikes me as the giving in of a petty mind who wants to pretend that they still are ``setting standards". Sad....))

Yeah, John says that ``...those people are incredibly arrogant." I trust he's right. I already filed my complaint to the Indiana Atty Gen's office by fax. A little extra heat under those assholes won't do John any harm, anyway.

Paul, prosit of

Mike Barno (Wed, 28 Oct 1981 23:09:35 -0500)

Hey guy, can you send me Larry Peery's snail-mail address? ((He closed the ``Diplomacy'' post office box awhile back, so he is just using his home address, which is: 6103 Malcolm Drive, San Diego, CA 92115.)) I pulled a clipping on archives from the newspaper a while back, figuring it'd interest him if he didn't see it (off the AP wire). The TAP with his kiss-the-Cardinal's-seat story only had his URL and so this has been sitting around a long time.

I sent words of encouragement toward Mark Lew and Paul Rauterberg toward more pubbing. (Heck, it's easier than actually doing a szine myself. Or even faking one as you seem to beg for occasionally.) You are to blame. ((Is this something I should contest? Somehow, I feel that I should....))

As usual snail-mail hasn't caught up, though the electronic copy has been on-line for a while. Or is it not the distribution system but the PRODUCTION system that's responsible for this? Is the problem that your production system has been zero-sum? Heh.

Mike, mpbarno of

((Oh, I don't know, my production process stinks, but it works for me in some perverse ways. If I tried to make this more of a job, I'd probably end up folding. I do it in doggedly stubborn anti-efficient fashion. This next exchange with Keith Sherwood was a quick rapid fire series of E-Mails, I'm skipping the very beginning since I wasn't making much sense at that point...))

Keith Sherwood (Tue, 10 Nov 1998 13:21:39 -0800)

What's the ``Price is Right" problem? I know about the ``Let's make a deal" problem: Monty offers you a choice of curtain 1, 2 or 3. Two curtains conceal gag gifts, one curtain has the prize. You pick 1. He shows you the mule behind curtain 2, and gives you the opportunity to switch from your original pick of curtain 1 to curtain 3: should you change?

((The Let's Make A Deal problem also has attracted some considerable academic research. There, the big issue (there's only one player) is about preferences of certainty (what Monty Hall has given you that you're holding in your hand) vs. uncertainty (what's behind the curtains). Research in that area helped to finally lead to the explanation of ``lottery preferences" where people are willing to risk small amounts of money and VALUE the dream and excitement of waiting to see whether the BIG prize is theirs!))

((The Price is Right contest has FOUR players and thus is a true multi-player game. Unlike Diplomacy, this is a sequential game since each player tries to predict the price of a product without going over in turn. The closest without going over wins. Economists like me are interested in this problem because of its similarity to the Burger King/McD's/Wendy's problem about where to locate on a busy street. They ``cluster" together as they sequentially choose their locations trying to be closest to the most customers.))

Is there a web address for this Danny Loeb's work? Thank goodness it was socialist French tax dollars that went into the research and not American. ((Danny Loeb's web page is:

((I think by moving around there you can find his Dip stuff although I haven't looked there in quite a while. This is just copied off my Bookmarks.))

You didn't propose a solution the Let's Make a Deal dilemma: is it better to stick or switch?

((Oh, sorry, the idea is that when you analyze it in expected value of the box you end up with, it is almost always (depending on the parameters of the problem) better to stick. However, people are MORE likely to switch, which (given the uncertainty) makes them look like ``risk lovers". But we know that most people are NOT risk lovers, but are risk averse. The solution is (proposed anyway) that people value the uncertainty ``in itself", those few moments where their heart skips a beat as they wait for the door to open or the curtain to be pulled back or the box to open. The same idea led to the solution of the lottery problem where people are deemed to value the ``dreaming" of winning while they wait for the numbers to be drawn. Otherwise no one would buy lottery tickets since the expected value is so low. The ads for the lotteries also make this ``dream motive" clear.))

Ah, the perfect example of the difference between the economist (you) and the mathematician (me, the computer scientist standing in for the mathematician). While motivation, etc., is (I admit) interesting, it is not purely measurable, and therefore ultimately unimportant. Mathematically (mmmmm, probability theory), is it better to switch or to stick?

And here my poor economist you are wrong: it is mathematically better to switch. You will more often win if you switch, given the chance. Doesn't make ``sense," I know (because ``nothing changed"). The mathematics have not been explained in an acceptable manner to me, but being a computer programmer I wrote a 10 line program to check it out. And it was true: you won more often if you switched (I ran it over 10,000 chances). I don't recall whether the margin was 1/6, the difference between ``half a chance" and ``a third of a chance." But 1/6 would make sense to me, mathematically. Didn't mark lew discuss this problem in your zine two or three years ago?

The difference between a mathematician and a computer programmer, by the way, is that, after writing his program and determining the answer, the computer programmer then forgets that he has completed the task and embarks on trying to write more efficient code to solve the problem again!

Don't get me started on lotteries! As you might guess, I'm impressed only with the odds, and therefore do not play. I buy your ``dreaming of winning" description/motivation/value hypothesis. I try to keep that sort of thing in mind and not launch into a tirade whenever approached by coworkers eager to throw money (away) into a lottery pool. I try to politely decline, biting my tongue and realize I cannot talk them out of it and save them their money. Hopefully they get their money's worth out of the dream. But I suspect they just get their money's worth out of harassing me, saying, ``When we win and all quit you'll be the only one left working here." That's when I lose it and launch into my tirade.

Wow. Type [``monty hall"] in your search engine (I use Excite) and stand back. I forgot the name of the problem was Monty Hall, not ``Let's make a deal" (you unduly influenced me). Nothing but hits. Sorry, no mathematical problem hits on [``price is right"].

Keith, Keith_Sherwood of

Mark Stretch (Tue, 17 Nov 1998 13:34:49)

Hello - it has been a while since we sent each other a letter, so I thought I'd drop you a quick line, whilst I have five minutes spare in my lunch hour. I trust that you are keeping well over there, and that things are going fine. ((I am indeed, and I realize very well that printing this sort of piffle is frowned upon on your side of the Atlantic.... part of the reason why I print it anyway.))

It is all beginning to settle down over here with the house move now completed and the job move before that. Fingers crossed I will get a relaxing year in 1999 to make up from all the moves this year. ((Yes, I think I managed to keep up with them all, but it was a bit of a chore. I think I got one of the address changes from Stephen Agar before I got it from you. Just shows that I do pay attention sometimes. See Mike Barno's comments above that are more common from my US subbers. I know they appreciate me.... they just like to whinge [keeping up with my Brit colloquialisms].))

I've not got too far on OMR of late. I've been too busy to spend much time on it recently. Hopefully, it will not be delayed too much. To be honest, I'm not enjoying it as much as I used to, and don't know how long I'll be carrying on with it all. I keep feeling that I've been there before. How you've managed 210 issues, I don't know. I am seriously impressed.

Oh well, I guess I need to get back to work now.

Mark, mstretch of

((Basically, I don't tread water, I keep it changing, and I always do just precisely what I want to do with it. One thing I like better about Diplomacy is that each game is different. Especially watching from the vantage point of the GM, this point is repeatedly driven home. But I look at a szine like Keith Thomasson's with all those millions and millions of little card games and just sigh. To each his own of course. Continually doing a szine just seems natural.))

Richard Weiss (Thu, 12 Nov 1998 23:16:48 -0800)

Jim: Quite a ribald issue - especially with Dead Poet's in there. Ever play France before? ((Yes, in fact I play France a lot. I obviously can't say a whole lot about a game that is still going on, but I do think I know what I am doing. I am not one who believes winning is everything in Diplomacy EVEN as I hold to trying to push all games to a win and don't admit the concept of shared wins. I don't feel those two positions are at all contradictory. In the end, it will be left for others to judge how I played this game. I do have a plan and it hasn't been anywhere near as unsuccessful as people like you and Pete Duxon appear to be trying to insinuate.))

I was quite glad to quickly read Simon's copy of being allowed to sometimes split infin it ives such that meaning may be more clear to those who care to not read with weird words hanging off in space. Diagramming sentences was never one of my forts. Nor is dining with Samuel Pickering. To not be, or to not be - that is one of the questions to sometimes consider.

Scott Morris nominated the Talking Heads ``Take me to the River." I had nominated ``a song" from Stop Making Sense. I think that probably is the quintessential party song for 5+ years in my life. Every party with music&dancing played that and there was maximum participation for ``Take me to the River''. Or did Scott mention Sinead's version?

Roland - good to hear from you again. I hadn't thought about Perestroika in years. I think I stole it from JimBob. ((Nope, not me, never played it... wasn't it that guy in Arizona, Larry something or other??)) Great concept not that great of a game, but quite fun to watch evolve. Perestoika and Fog of War were my two favortie variants during my era in the Hobby. Vaughn will be gone by the time you read this. Mo - ving on! the headline might say.

Richard, rcw of


This section is developing a list of the great party singles of the century. You'll get a definite sense of quirky before we're done. You'll also get a sense of timelessness. I'll assume that I'll also get some comments from some of you. I'm going to set a slate of only 10 - that's just ONE more from what is below and then DEMAND votes from you out there to fill the rest of the slots. The Bullpen voting system I am envisioning will work like this: you each get ten votes which you can allocate across as few as two songs (5 votes apiece) or as many as ten songs (1 vote for each). You can allocate your ten votes any way you want, but you can't put any more than five votes on any one song. I'll start the voting at the beginning of 1999, so you have just a very short time to get additional songs into the bullpen list. Write-ins will be permitted, but are unlikely to win. I know I have lost some suggestions that aren't in the bullpen lists below, so feel free to mention 'em again!

We'll end up with a monster party tape at the end of it that I plan to segue and sequence and copy for distribution. The result will be a great New Millenium party tape. I've also been thinking that I should put this out on CD as truly emblematic of the new millenium. I don't have the capability to do that quite yet, but I think I might by then. Any suggestions (or especially volunteers) on this front will be cheerfully accepted and could receive monetary payments!

So far, we have ``I Melt With You'' by Modern English; George Gershwin's ``I got Plenty O' Nuttin' '' from Porgy and Bess in the 1957 concert recording with Ella Fitzgerald finishing off the vocals after Louis Armstrong blows and sings through the tune; Duke Ellington performing Billy Strayhorn's ``Take the A Train''; Frank Sinatra's ``New York, New York''; ``Dance This Mess Around'' from the B-52's; The (English) Beat's 12 inch version of ``Save It for Later'' ratchets things up to the next level (wherever you put it!); Buster Poindexter's ``Hot, Hot, Hot'' keeps you there; ``Atomic Dog'' by George Clinton blows the doors off, and Koko Taylor cleans up singing Willie Dixon's ``Wang Dang Doodle''.

``Gloria'' is probably going to be that final song on the list, but I want to find a memorable recording. Does anyone have some suggestions for me on that front? A Van Morrison version? The original Them version?? A cover??? It is also remotely possible that I will decide to put ``Gloria'' in along with another song and leave ``Dance This Mess Around'' to be voted in.

The ``bullpen'' is the list of suggestions that people make that I haven't decided whether or not to include yet. Comments on the bullpen are, of course, actively encouraged. I also am ``working'' on some ideas Mark Luedi tossed out recently. I liked Mark's ``criteria addition" that: ``One of my own criteria for truly great songs is that it can sound as good or better distorted as not, whether on account of poor signal, bad speakers, tape deterioration, car noise.''

BULLPEN: ``Rocking the Casbah'' - The Clash; ``Dancing With Myself'' - Billy Idol's Gen X; ``Walk This Way'' - Run-DMC; Prince - ``1999"; ``Fire on the Mountain'' or ``Cumberland Blues'' - the Grateful Dead; Devo - ``Whip It"; ``Shake, Rattle, and Roll'' - Big Joe Turner; B Movie - ``Nowhere Girl"; B-52s - ``Give Me Back My Man" or ``Rock Lobster" or ``Planet Claire'' or ``Love Shack''; ``Roadrunner'' - Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers; Strunz and Farrah - ``Americas''; Clarence ``Gatemouth'' Brown - ``Up Jumped the Devil''; David Bowie - ``Fame''; ``party at ground zero'' by fishbone; ``Tweediee Dee'' by Lavern Baker ((Wanna explain that one, Stan??)); ``Been Caught Stealing'' - Jane's Addiction; ``Hard to Handle'' - Black Crowes; ``Birth-day'' - Suzanne Vega; Doors - ``Road House Blues"; Cure - ``In between days"; Bangles - ``Hazy Shade of Winter"; Violent Femmes - ``Blister in the sun"; Go-Go's - ``Our Lips are Sealed"; Peter Frampton - ``Do you feel like we do"; Led Zeppelin - ``Hey, Hey what can I do"; Three Dog Night - ``Shambala"; ``Party Train'' - Gap Band; ``Proud Mary'' - Ike and Tina Turner; Concrete Blonde - ``Still in Hollywood".

SPECIAL GEORGE CLINTON BULLPEN: ``I Just Wanna Testify'', ``Let's Take It to the Stage'', ``The Pinocchio Theory'', and ``Flash Light''.

SPECIAL ROLLING STONES BULLPEN: ``Satisfaction", ``Paint It Black", ``Jumpin' Jack Flash", ``Get Off of My Cloud'', ``Sympathy for the Devil''.

SPECIAL TALKING HEADS BULLPEN: ``The Great Curve'', ``Take me to the River", ``Life During Wartime'', the entire Speaking in Tongues record.

SPECIAL DRUG MUSIC BULLPEN: ``Cocaine'' - Eric Clapton's version; ``Casey Jones'' - the Grateful Dead; ``Red, Red Wine'' - UB40; The Toys - ``Smoke Two Joints''; ``Panama Red'' - New Riders; ``Smoke, Smoke, Smoke (That Cigarette)'' - Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen; and ``I'm an Okie from Muskogee'' - Merle Haggard.

Mike Barno (Sun, 15 Nov 1998 11:39:07 -0500)

[My dog just laid down on the on/off switch of my power strip, forcing me to retype this message, grumble.]

Hi, Richard, Phil Reynolds is offering an opening in Perestroika in his xyn ISHKIBIBBLE.

Contact him at ``preyno of" if you're interested. He's also offering other variants and Snowball Fighting. Prices and reliability are reasonable.

``Take Me to the River" was one of my favorites of that era (a musical wasteland in my opinion) and still sounds good today. ``Smoke Two Joints" was one of my most-enjoyed songs at Yellowstone events (covered by Hot Tomato, with whom I engaged in the referenced behavior) but I hadn't known who wrote it.

I had the same thought as you upon seeing the ``party song" categorization. I made a list but never sent it to Jim. My list didn't overlap yours much; some samples: ``Magic Mountain" (the Animals); ``The Pusher" and ``Magic Carpet Ride" (Steppenwolf); ``Revolution" (the Beatles) for the doo-wop backing vocals ``should we do a bong" ... ``should we do a few bongs"; the Eric Ozog, I mean, Tom Petty song ``Get to the Point"; ``Legalize It" and ``Pass the Dutchie" (Peter Tosh). Not all of these would be good for Jim's criteria but they'd be good for a reggae-type gathering.

I fear C. Jones is gonna have a stroke if you (or whoever wrote the Modern Dip item) keep it up. Inducing untreatable medical problems was an accepted diplomatic stratagem in the Soviet era, but not in Dipdom. Anyway at this point a replacement player would probably make similar orders, so it would only help if you could ``gain a tempo" with a German NMR. Looks like only a French NMR would give you that.

Take care! -Mike, mpbarno of

Steve Emmert (Wed, 04 Nov 1998 17:12:52 -0500)

Dear Jim-Bob -

I am one of those heathen swine who are actually glad the NBA is locked out. (1) More time (and TV airtime) for hockey. (2) It's always amusing to see 6'9" millionaires cry over missing the payments on their Porsches. (3) Maybe we'll get lucky and the lockout will continue past the end of the NFL season. Then it will be nothing but the aforementioned hockey until Spring Training begins. If I die after that, it'll be okay.

Excuse me, but our local paper has reported what I take to be a practical joke: Jesse Ventura elected governor of Minnesota? I have a couple of pals up there who are going to get razzed mercilessly on this one.

I'm taking Sondra to see Chris Isaak on November 22 in Norfolk. This keeps me on the Good Guy List. If it tops the Pat Metheny Group concert we saw this winter, I'll be very much surprised, but I can be a dutiful husband and have a good time, too.

Hope you and Charlotte are well. Best wishes.

Steve, SEMMERT of

Phil Reynolds (Fri, 20 Nov 1998 06:36:49 -0800 (PST))

Jim - Got the thick package from you yesterday.

I like the Alan Parsons Project, too. Have all of their albums. Never did drugs to them, though. Favorites: I, Robot; Turn of a Friendly Card; and Stereotomy.

That's it for now. - Phil, preyno of

Warren Goesle (Sat, 14 Nov 1998 19:34:48)


Ok guy, here's my two cents for the party tape.

"Memory" - 'Cats' soundtrack

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and/or Ïf I Only Had a Brain" - 'Wizard of Oz' soundtrack

From the miscellaneous Rock & Roll section: "Start the Car" - Jude Cole "Dangerous" - Doobie Brothers "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights" - Meatloaf "Rock & Roll, Hoochie Koo" - Rick Derringer "Circling Sky" - Pink Floyd "Goin' Southbound" - Stan Ridgeway "Roll With the Changes" - REO Speedwagon "Locomotive Breath" - Jethro Tull "Deja Voodoo" - Kenny Wayne Shepard

I'm ready for a beer and a party., gozcorp of

Dick Martin (Sun, 15 Nov 1998 02:56:54 -0500)

jimbob - ok, guess i'll finally get motivated to send in some entries for you. i did two lists - one for normal folks & one for music snobs, but couldn't make up my mind which one to submit so you get stuck with both (sorta). :)

jody mccullough made my exact point re "midnight rambler" - even down to naming "get off of my cloud" as a superior alternate. and mentioning ßhake, rattle, & roll" (big joe turner version, not bill haley) even though you didn't add it to the choices...somebody has been peeking at my notes!

in the great b52's controversy i have to toss in a vote since i worship them to this very day after 20+ years... "love shack" definitely! yeah i know it actually became a hit & you're allergic to that sorta thing but it has such exuberance it's impossible to sit still. i know there's a lot of nostalgia for the older stuff, but if you're not gonna pick "private idaho" then your judgement is suspect anyways. ;)

without further ado: "locomotion" - little eva ßhake, rattle, & roll" - big joe turner "want ad blues" - john lee hooker öh yeh yai" - terrance simien & the mallet playboys "jambalaya" - hank williams "given the dog a bone" - ac/dc "party at ground zero" - fishbone ï feel good" - james brown ïn the mood" - glenn miller "rev jack & his roamin cadillac church" - timbuk3 "mannish boy" - muddy waters "chain of fools" - aretha franklin "twistin the night away" - sam cooke "twist & shout" - beatles "what i like about you" - romantics änd we danced" - hooters ï wanna be sedated" - ramones

special elvis bullpen: "love me tender", "love for tender", "jailhouse rock", "pump it up", "heartbreak hotel", "getting mighty crowded"

alphabet song dept: ÿmca" - village people "mta" - kingston trio

alternate nominee dept: "life during wartime" - talking heads "train in vain" - clash "love shack" or "private idaho" - b52s

i could go on and on and on all night long,!

richard martin, blarf of

((WOW!! You know how I think about your taste. I think this is a FANTASTIC list!! Hmmm, it even got Julie writing???))

Julie Martin (Mon, 16 Nov 1998 19:09:01 -0500)

I have noted some serious omissions from Dicko's party tape:

Public Enemy - ``Bring Tha Noize (w/Anthrax)"

Nirvana - ``Smells Like Team Spirit" Erasure - ``River Deep, Mountain High" Squeeze - ``If I Didn't Love You"

George Clinton Bullpen: Prince - ``Bob & George" (stump the panel?)

Julie Martin, blarf of

Ken Peel (Thu, 19 Nov 1998 08:29:20 -0500)

Jim - Got the note on the back of TAP#210. Yeah, I think Livingston will do about as good a job as Speaker as possible. Gingrich was a revolutionary, but not a manager or legislative leader. ((One of those obvious perceptions that is so obvious that one wonders why it wasn't universally realized earlier.))

The problem, of course, is that nothing will get done in the House over the next two years. It simply is not in Gephardt's interest to permit anything to happen (unless is it a part of his own agenda, like raising the minimum wage or passing huge new tobacco taxes). Gephardt wants to be Speaker, not to have it look like a thinly-led Republican House can work. It may be so bad in the 106th Congress that the Senate could turn out to be the more activist body. Our Founding Fathers would be turning over in their grave over such a prospect. (Not, mind you, that the Senate will be all that activist is only relative.)

My current boss, Sen. Hagel, is busy preparing for a run for a Senate leadership position: the head of the Senate Republican Campaign Committee. My guess is that he will decide today or tomorrow to make the challenge. If he does, it will be the only leadership race in the Senate.

Saw the Billenness comment on the burial of the official ban on split infinitives. Doesn't he realize how important it is for him steadfastly to reconfirm his heritage proud and stalwartly to stand athwart history and shout ``stop?" [Apologies to Wm. F. Buckley, Jr.]

BTW, sorry, Simon that it looks like your law may have turned out to be unconstitutional. ((The one on investments in companies dealing in Myanmar.)) I know, details, details...

Later, Ken, Ken_Peel of

((The whole idea of governing by gridlock is kind of fascinating to me. One take on this, as I understand it, has been happening in Britain where they are again contemplating the abolition of hereditary peerage in the House of Lords. Over in Britain, the House of Lords is the great equalizing obstructionist body. And it gets driven by those people who sit there through heredity. I'm very far from an expert on the House of Lords, but strangely enough if they banish the hereditary peers then won't the Church of England bishops dominate the House of Lords? Then it may tend to become even more of a religious conscience for the government. How different from the way religion and politics have been mixing over here lately?? Just some thoughts to fill the last page to see if we can generate some cross cultural debate....))


``I have never learned ... to play the lyre, but I know how to make a small and obscure city rich and great." (Themistocles, in Plutarch's Lives.)

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904.

Standby lists: Mike Barno, John Breakwell, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Doug Kent, Paul Rauterberg, Stan Johnson, Harry Andruschak, Heath Gardner, Phil Reynolds, Dave Partridge, Andy York, Michael Pustilnik, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy. Mike Barno, Phil Reynolds, and Harry Andruschak stand by for the Colonial Diplomacy game. Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Phil Reynolds, and Paul Kenny standby for the Modern Diplomacy game. Let me know if you want on or off these lists. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks. I'd really appreciate it if anyone wanted to be added to the lists.


One additional regular game will be started in addition to the full one noted below. You can send your $15 for your life of the game sub and game fee with NMR insurance now.

Players in the game starting now are: AUSTRIA: Kent Pollard ($15), ENGLAND: Terry Tallman ($15), FRANCE: Scott Morris ($15), GERMANY: Jim Sayers ($20), ITALY: Scott Munson ($15), RUSSIA: Luke Dwyer ($15), and TURKEY: Mike Barno ($15). I have to come up with a game name and collect full postal, phone, and E-Mail contact info from everyone. I'll put that together for next time and set a Spring 1901 deadline date. I did a random draw on the countries since most of you didn't provide preference lists. I will put a little insert in the players' copies with contact info that I know.

Roland Sasseville is the only one definitely set for the next game. Others have told me they will be playing but haven't sent me money yet. This includes Harold Zarr (who should send money now).

I also am trolling for players for Colonia VIIb. I have direct interest expressed from David Partridge, Robert Stimmel, Paul Rauterberg, Gene Prosnitz, and Stan Johnson. Could we firm that up in the next few issues, please? I am still looking for ideas on what I will need to know to run Colonia. At this point, I will be running it WITHOUT printing a map in the szine.

On yet another front, I'd really like this Black Hole game to start too! Conrad von Metzke recently finished GMing a black hole game where you can freely jump over black holes instead of having them render spaces impassible. I played in this game and like the tactics of jumping over the black holes a great deal. Now there the black holes were random, but what would happen if you could plan them? The next NYEED game will feature this rule change. I STILL am itching to get this game started, so it will start as soon as it is filled! You get a life of game sub, and the game itself is FREE!! Jody McCullough, Sandy Kenny, Mike Barno, Phil Reynolds, and John Schultz are signed up. Off an offhanded suggestion in the NYEED press in the last game, we'll call it Nelson Mandela. Just TWO more and we'll get started! Come on, this one will be REALLY exciting!! Best of all, you will be feeding the GM's interests and winning immense numbers of Brownie Points.

Last, but far from least, I will be opening a game of Star Trek Diplomacy! See Stephen Agar's rules enclosed in this issue!! There are two changes I am looking at when I start the game. First, I really want to name all the star systems after Star Trek locations. I have begun to do this already, but if someone wants to contribute significantly, or even volunteer to do it all, I will offer a free game start in the game. Second, after naming all of the systems, I think I want to nix the ``revolving rings'' rule. I'll take input on this idea. The game start is open now, and since I want to STRONGLY encourage press, you can sign up and ``claim'' a race. Species 8472 has been in two segments of Voyager and is a very intriguing diplomatic race (their episodes are the only Voyager episodes I've liked in the last year) and the rest of the races should be well known to all.

Conrad von Metzke is the editor and publisher of Pontevedria, the game openings listing, if you're interested in other game openings. Send Conrad a SASE for the latest issue to: Conrad von Metzke, 4374 Donald Avenue, San Diego, CA 92117. Conrad is discussing folding this service. I think actually it needs someone to pick it up with a web page where it can be posted. I'd like to nudge Stephen Agar into talking to Conrad about taking it over and putting in the postal section on The Diplomatic Pouch page, where this szine also resides. This appears to be happening, though it is not official yet to my knowledge. This could serve both the Brit and US hobbies!! I realize that I should probably volunteer to do this since I'm the most active contributor to that page, but I'd really rather not. What we need is for the postal openings to be accessible on the Net.

SO GOOD IT HURTS: 1998 P, Regular Diplomacy


Restart Winter 1900

AUSTRIA (K. Ozog): has f TRI, a VIE, a BUD.

ENGLAND (James): f LON, f EDI, a LVP.

FRANCE (Dwyer): has f BRE, a MAR, a PAR.

GERMANY (Goesle): has f KIE, a BER, a MUN.

ITALY (Rauterberg): has f NAP, a ROM, a VEN.

RUSSIA (Rusnak): has f STP(SC), f SEV, a WAR, a MOS.

TURKEY (Emmert): has f ANK, a CON, a SMY.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Kurt Ozog, 1220 N. Ashbel Ave., Berkeley, IL., 60163

kozog of

ENGLAND: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956 ($5)

dkbn of

FRANCE: Luke Dwyer, Colgate University, Box J 1262, 13 Oak Hill Drive, Hamilton, NY 13346, (315) 228-4625

School Breaks Only: 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($5)

Ldwyer of

GERMANY: Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235 ($5)

ITALY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($5)

prosit of

RUSSIA: Russ Rusnak, 1551 Highridge Avenue, Westchester, IL 60154-3428 ($5)

TURKEY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842 ($5)


Game Notes:

1) If I need to correct or add any contact information above, please get it to me ASAP. Thanks!

2) I am really, really sorry about the way this one has started up. Doug just never showed up for the game. Since I had to replace him, I asked Eric Ozog's brother (who was in line for the new game) to take this position instead. Happily, he agreed. Kurt is well known to a few of you (especially some of the neighbors of Austria) and I thought that would be the quickest way to get this back on track. I think we need until January, so I have set the new Spring deadline to then. My house rules (reprinted in this very issue) cover this unhappy eventuality.

3) For fun, I have printed some of the press that was aimed at the former Austria, as well as some general press. I hope no one minds and everyone will give Kurt a chance.


(GERMANY to AUSTRIA): If you're not going to diplome to anyone can I have Vienna before everyone else gets it?

(VENICE to TRIESTE): We haven't heard from you, thus we assume you don't care? We only hope you've submitted moves this season, so that our knife can slip in firmly and deeply. ((No such luck, so this becomes a ``do-over''.))

(TURKEY to ENGLAND, GERMANY, AND RUSSIA): I understand you three are all related somehow, perhaps through your curious Queen Victoria and her heirs. We shall keep this in mind in exchanging state secrets with fewer than all of you.

(ROME to SKYWALKER): Luck? What does that have to do with Diplomacy?

(GO-EL to JIM-BILLY-BOB): Just what flavor press is this anyway?

(JIM-BILLY-BOB to GO-EL): Black, very black, just like your heart and the color of your pieces!! You can write anything from anyone. See the enclosed house rules for more details!

(EARTH to AUSTRIA): Anybody there? Hello?

(VIRGINIA BEACH to PROVIDENCE): The CIA once maintained a bungalow in the South Pacific where they housed Argentine ex-president Juan Peron. When he died, they put South Vietnamese ex-president Nguyen Van Thieu there, reasoning that Thieu could live as cheaply as Juan. ((Oh, come on, haven't you told that one before? I know I've heard it before, numerous times....))

(RICHMOND GRAD to COLGATE UNDERGRAD): How's that calculus coming along?

(TURKISH SCHEDULE): In the name of Allah, the compassionate, the merciful: Administrative duties for the sultan, Tuesday -

5:30 am - Rise

5:45 am - Prayers to Allah

6:15 am - Breaking of the Fast

6:45 am - Harem visit

8:00 am - Review military deployments

9:15 am - Prayers to Allah

9:30 am - Audience with German ambassador

10:00 am - Harem visit

11:30 am - Economic briefing

12:15 pm - Luncheon

1:00 pm - Prayers to Allah

1:15 pm - Attend camel race

1:45 pm - Refill Viagra prescription

2:00 pm - Free time; possibly brief harem visit

2:45 pm - Deputation from Anatolian villages

3:15 pm - Definite harem visit

4:30 pm - Prayers to Allah

4:45 pm - Meeting with Wright brothers to discuss flying apparatus

5:30 pm - Concert by Izmir Children's Choir

6:30 pm - Dine

7:30 pm - Prayers to Allah

7:45 pm - Single malt scotch tasting

Somewhere around 11:00 pm - Prayers to harem, Allah visit, retire



14 (replenish with a 3): Broke Leg Meg, Shane the Chain
13 (replenish with a 5): Barkin' Larkin'
12 (replenish with a 6): Eric Cartman, Chasin' Jason
11 (replenish with a 8): Alessandro Cyclotron
10 (replenish with a 9): Mopsy
9 (replenish with a 10): Moe
8 (replenish with a 11): Cottontail, Stan Marsh, Shemp
7 (replenish with a 3): Peter, Kenny McCormick, Kyle Broslofski, Larry, Curly
6 (replenish with a 8): Flopsy, Bernard Spoke, Christoph Wheelhub, Damon Velodrome
5 (no replenishment): Empty
4 (no replenishment): Empty
3 (replenish with a 3): Sir Isaac Newton
2 (replenish with a 4): Alfred the Great, Will Shakespeare
1 (replenish with a 6): John Logie-Baird

Addresses of the Participants - Their Team and Their Cards

TEAM 1 (Farmer McGregor's Dinner): Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02192

72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

A: Flopsy 8 7 8 9
B: Mopsy 7 8 9
C: Cottontail 5 7 11
D: Peter 4 5 3

TEAM 2 (Chef's Crackers): Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY

desper of

Coach is, of course, Chef
A: Stan Marsh (aka the Star Quarterback) 6 7 11 9
B: Kyle Broslofski (aka the Lonely Jew) 3 8 10
C: Kenny McCormick (aka the Pov) 4 3 9
D: Eric Cartman (aka the FatAss) 1 3 6

TEAM 3 (Goz Transportation Co.): Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235

gozcorp of

A: Alessandro Cyclotron 3 6 10 8
B: Bernard Spoke 4 8 15
C: Christoph Wheelhub 5 8 9
D: Damon Velodrome 3 8 6

TEAM 4 (Brit Pack): John Harrington, 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex, EN1 3UW UK

johnh of

A: Alfred the Great 1 4 12 15
B: Sir Isaac Newton 3 7 15
C: Will Shakespeare 4 3 15
D: John Logie-Baird 6 5 10

TEAM 5 (The Stoogecycles): David Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722

rebhuhn of

A: Curly 8 3 15
B: Larry 12 3 6
C: Moe 10 7 4
D: Shemp 11 7 1

TEAM 6 (The Flat Wheel Society): John Schultz, #19390, Marion County Jail II, 730 East Washington Street, Indianapolis, IN 46202

A: Broke Leg Meg 15 3 1
B: Shane the Chain 3 10 1
C: Barkin' Larkin' 5 6 1
D: Chasin' Jason 6 3 1

Game Notes:

1) Let me know if anything about the set-up is confusing. I tell you what card you replenish with in each slot and then update the hands for each rider. Especially toward the beginning, double check me! Note that the seven slot is covered by the first turn ``crowd'' rule.


(TFWS - CREATOR): Knowing nothing - just guessing - and my first cards appearing unorthodox next to the rest - I take some comfort that I'm more comparable to you than I am to the rest of the crowd.

(DESIGNER - TFWS): Sorry, old boy, having a bit of bother understanding your banter. ``Can I draft?" you ask. Not if you are the General Manager of the Carolina Panthers, apparently. ``Drafting" is referred to as ``slipstreaming" in the rules and means the same thing, I am told.

As for running out of gas, over here in Blighty gas is something you cook with or suffer from after drinking too much fizzy pop. If you run out of gas (i.e. get tailed off) just hitch a lift back to the finish line and watch the rest of the race on the telly.

And talking of cultural differences, it would be bloody handy if you lot would ride on the right hand side of the road and leave lots of room for us on the left. ((They've left you lots of room PERIOD!))

(STOOGECYCLES): Curly plays a bag of Acme #4 Caltrops (guaranteed to get your point across) on square 6 as he enters square 7. Larry sends two quarts of Mobil 1 oil in a high lob onto square 5 at the same time. Mo goes for the classic eye gouge on any rider sharing square 9 with him. Shemp gets set to record the fun on his trusty camcorder.

(GOZ to YOU-KNOW-WHO): This had better work.

(STOOGES to GM): How many reloads is our supply truck allowed to carry?

(GM to STOOGES): Is that oil or what? You're messing up my track with all that oil!!

(CHEF): Hey - who called me a Brit! I'm an Afro-American and proud! If you don't believe me, check this out. OK, kids, let's sing!

(KIDS): I want to ride my bi-CY-CLE, I want to ride my BIKE. I want to ride my bi-CY-CLE, I want to ride it where I like.

(CHEF): Oh, fat-bottomed girls, they make the rockin' world go round.

(STAN): Um, Chef, wrong song.

(CHEF): Oh, the bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin', that's what I said!

(KYLE): Chef!

(CHEF): The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand, or so it's been said. My baby fits me like a (CENSORED)

(ERIC): OK, that's it. This is where I draw the line. I'm leaving. (Eric starts to pedal away merrily. He is unaware of Kenny fitting a firecracker just below his seat.) See you losers later! (The firecracker explodes, and flames start shooting out of Cartman's butt.)

(ERIC): Help!!! The aliens are back! (Eric shoots off into the distance, powered by the rocket-propulsion created by Snacky Cakes and Cheesy Poofs. Kenny, Stan, and Kyle quickly hop on their HellCycles and draft behind the voluminous Cartman.)

(TFWS - EVERYONE): No press? This isn't going to be the strong, silent sort of group I hope. ((We didn't end up doing too badly.... but the designer got separated from the pack in last. Does he know what he's doing?? I suppose we will see.))

FEAR AND WHISKEY: 1998Ers31, Modern Diplomacy


Winter 1996

BRITAIN (Schultz): has f NTH, a LON, f NOR, f MOR, f MAO, f ENG.

EGYPT (J. O'Donnell): bld f ALE; has f ALE, a ESA, a ASW, f LIB, a IRK, f CAI.

FRANCE (Andruschak): R f por-SAO; bld f mar; has f MAR, f GOL, a MAD, a LYO, f SAO,

a SWI, a AUV, a BAR.

GERMANY (Rauterberg): bld a mun, a ham; has a MUN, a HAM, a PRU, a RUH, a AUS, f BHM,

a BEL, f DEN, a CZE.

ITALY (Ozog): bld a ven; has a VEN, f ION, a MIL, f MAL, a SER, f ALB.

POLAND (Sasseville): bld a war; has a WAR, a BIE, f BAL, f LIT, a KRA, a STP.

RUSSIA (Goranson): rem a swe, f gob; has a GOR, a LAT, a FIN.

SPAIN (S. O'Donnell): has a POR, f TUN, a AND, a SVE.

TURKEY (Pollard): has a IRN, a ANK, a IST, a CAU, f EBS, f AEG, a GRE.

UKRAINE (Partridge): bld f sev, a kha; has f SEV, a KHA, a MOS, f WBS, a KIE, a VOL,

a POD, a BUL, f ROS.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: John Schultz, #19390, Marion County Jail II, 730 East Washington St., Indianapolis, IN 46202

EGYPT: Jeff O'Donnell, 402 Middle Ave., Elyria, OH 44035-5728, (440) 322-2920 ($5)

FRANCE: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202 ($5)

GERMANY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

ITALY: Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138, (360) 691-4264 ($5)

ElfEric of

POLAND: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

roland6 of

RUSSIA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532, (716) 876-9374 ($5)

ForlornH of

SPAIN: Sean O'Donnell, 126 S. Park, Oberlin, OH 44074, (440) 774-2928 ($5)

TURKEY: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190, ($10)

UKRAINE: Dave Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722, (603) 882-3523 ($9)

rebhuhn of

Game Notes:

1) Check out the Modern Dip web page at: Cyberia/modern.htm


(THE MEKONS QUOTE OF THE MONTH): ``We struck out on a hard beaten road; Slow down you're going too fast; My red face burnt and bare feet tore; On jagged rocks; Where's my baby face?'' From ``Maverick'' off of the So Good It Hurts album.

(ANDRUSCHAK-GM): TAP #210 with a deadline of 24 October probably will not arrive before I leave for Turkey on 5 November. If I survive Armenian terrorist activities, Kurdish terrorist activities, Fundamentalist Islamic terrorist activities, gang attacks, assassination attempts by disgruntled Greeks who were castrated, disease, tinamous, and the hoards of T-shirt sellers, I should be back on 23 November.

(UKR - FRA): Enjoy your trip to Turkey! Takes lots of pictures, especially around those coastal installations. Send me postcards. Use code A-12. Don't get caught!

(RICKY to GERMAN LUCY): ``Lucy, you gots some splaining to do."

(MACHIAVELLI to WORLD): Have your books ready.

(MUNICH to ST.PETE): Well you wanted Sweden so badly, we just didn't have it in our hearts to deny it to you. It will, after all, likely serve as the burial grounds for your Tsar.... ((Russia doesn't own St.Pete anymore either.... and he removed the unit in Sweden. Things don't look so good....))

(BRITAIN-BRITAIN): No matter what I do I telegraph my moves. Have I been hoodwinked? Hornswoggled? Someone needs to offer explanations. Could it be the ``New Math''? Someone's pulling my leg! No!! Two someone's are pulling both legs. Damn!

(MACHIAVELLI to GERMAN): ``How praiseworthy it is that a prince keep his word and governs by candor instead of craft" ( The Prince ch 13 opening)

(A TURKISH ZEALOT to THE PROPHET): O great one! O most beloved! Where are you in our time of need? I call to you. I beseech you to join in and give us your blessings! Come. Speak to us, O Mike Barno...

(MACHIAVELLI to ME): -rest of chapter The man who received the strong package to sender-I am so there.

(JOHN BOY-GM): I'm not sure but I don't think I'm answering myself yet.

(ROME): There's a cold north wind a blowin'! Time to shore up the northern border.

(BERLIN to LONDON): Are the censors still at work, denying us our legal rights to communicate? We have written to you again, and have sent a scolding to the man in the black hood. If things don't shape up immediately, the Indiana Attorney General's office will be alerted!

(POLAND to UKRAINE): What am I seeing?

(URKAINE): Today the world was shocked as the first press reports came back from the Ukrainian peacekeepers who have entered Bulgaria to restore order after the shocking excesses of the Turkish invaders. It was a far from pretty site, supeona papers clogged even the smallest government offices, preventing any real work from being done. Children were forced to learn creation ``science" alongside their real studies, and liberals everywhere had had their houses defaced and were forced to wear an L patch on their clothing. ``This is one of the worst cases of Republican cleansing we've ever seen" reported the commander. ``It makes the Washington scandals pale in comparison. Luckily our brave Italian comrades were not afraid to come forward and expose this heinous crime to the world and help us to take action."

(AMBASSADOR ATÄTURK PÖ-LLARD to THE NATION OF THE UKRAINE): It would seem that my suspicions were correct. Judgement was made when a fleet was built and then sailed into the Black Sea by your nation. It was by Allah's will that the 1st Turkish Army was moved out of harm's way and repositioned in Istanbul. Our shame is great. But, our vengeance will be great! With that, I have been empowered to inform you that a Declaration of War is now issued and that we as a people will not rest until either the Ukraine or Turkey lies in a pile of burned out ashes. May Allah have on you, for we will not...

(KAISER to POLAND): Die! Die! Die!

(THE SULTAN to THE WORLD): War is here. The time to give battle is now! I call upon Infidel and Holy Ones. Little and big. Brave and Coward. Let this be the Mother of all Battles! I declare Jihad! Jihad! Jihad....

(FILE PHOTO 797#): The people will bring Andruschakatian to their enemies. The people are zealous. The people will never surrender! Death to the Ukraine....

SHOW ME THE MONEY: 1997Mea04, Colonial Diplomacy


Summer 1904

BRITAIN (York): rem f mad (improper build); R f scs-NAN; has f ADEN, a AFG, a RAJ, f RS,

f HK, f SIN, a TIB, f SHI, f AS, a ASS, f NAN, f MAL.

CHINA (Goranson): has a SHA, a CHU.

FRANCE (Sasseville): has a TON, f COC, f GOS, f SCS,

a CAN, a MAY, a YUN, a U.BUR, f FOR.

HOLLAND (Desper): has f TS, f BOR, f JS, f SUL.S, a SUM, f SUN.S, f LS.

JAPAN (Dwyer): has a KYU, a VLA, f UP, f ECS, a P.ART, f OS, f YS, f SOJ, a SEO.

RUSSIA (Williams): has a BOK, a IRK, a BAKU, f MED, a ANG, a MON, f MAC, a BAG,

a URU, a PEK, a SIK, a LAN, f SYR.

TURKEY (Tallman): has f GOA, a EGY, f SUD.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Andy York, PO Box 201117, Austin, TX 78720-1117

wandrew of

CHINA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532, (716) 876-9374 ($5)

ForlornH of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($8)

Djrolandb of

HOLLAND: Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY (E-Mail)

desper of

JAPAN: Luke Dwyer, Colgate University, Box J 1262, 13 Oak Hill Drive, Hamilton, NY 13346, (315) 228-4625

School Breaks Only: 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($4)

Ldwyer of

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947 ($6)

wllmsfmly of

TURKEY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($0)

ttallman of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) As the players already have been notified by E-Mail, I have decided to correct an error I made back in the fall season when I permitted Britain to make a build because I miscounted the number of units on the board. The fleet that Britain built bounced Turkey in the Indian Ocean in the Spring. That result will stand, but I am going with this correction at the ``earliest possible moment". I have slightly adjusted my house rules (reprinted in this issue) to account for the way I made this ruling. I thank the British player himself for originally pointing out the error to me!


(HOLLAND): The Dutch government issued a brief statement today saying ``At the present time, our scouts have not returned with a full detailing of all events. Preliminary observations indicate that the English government has complied with the recently-signed Treaty of WhupAss, signed by our delegate Kenny McCormick. Also the Treaty of GetOutOfMyFace, which the predecessor Pip refused to sign before his untimely abduction by the minions of Hell, was recently agreed to by his replacement, Damien, and the ambassador Stan Marsh.

President Ronald ``Dutch" Reagan continues to enjoy his convalescence in the capital of Jakarta. He sends his support out to his cabinet, which oddly enough consists of four 8-year olds from Colorado and the school Chef from their elementary school. Apparently the cabinet just started an international bike race with some bunnies, a few British ghosts, the Four Stooges, four guys wearing prison uniforms, and the cast of ``Breaking Away". Best of luck, kids!




Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($7)

ttallman of

ENGLAND: Michael Lowrey, 4322 Water Oak Road, Charlotte, NC 28211

mlowrey of

ENGLAND EMERITUS: Tom Nash, 202 Settlers Road, St. Simons Island, GA 31522, (912) 634-1753 ($4)

75763.707 of CompuServe.COM

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($5)

prosit of

GERMANY: Doug Kent, 10214 Black Hickory Rd., Dallas, TX 75243 (214) 234-8386 ($5)

73567.1414 of CompuServe.COM

ITALY: Simon Billenness, 33 Lancaster Terrace, Apt. 211, Brookline, MA 02446, (617) 731-1419 ($5)

sbillenness of

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947

wllmsfmly of

RUSSIA EMERITUS: Ken Peel, 12041 Eaglewood Court, Silver Spring, MD 20902, (301) 949-4055 ($5)


TURKEY: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367 ($4)

ksher of or Keith_Sherwood of

TURKEY EMERITUS: Pete Gaughan, 502 Mt. Dell Drive, Clayton, CA 94517-1503, (925) 673-3396 ($4)

gaughan of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes (back from the tropopause):

1) The game specific standby list for this game includes Garret Schenck, Cathy Cunning Ozog, Mike Mills, Dick Martin, Vince Lutterbie, and Eric Brosius in reverse alphabetical order (note that Garret is STILL missing... someone find him!). Guest press from potential standbys would be a ``good thing'' if they wanted to be chosen.

2) The game is now over as all four players voted for the draw. I thought the game had some play left in it, both because Don Williams still had a unit in Russia and because the stalemate line there was still not locked up. But the players rule. I do think it was likely that Keith would have done what needed to be done, so it is likely we would have been here eventually anyway. Don gets a survival and Doug doesn't.

3) I will have the end game stats in the szine next time and then the end game statements will be due the season after that. All current and former players are welcome to comment. I printed all the press anyway, just for fun.


(PARIS to WORLD): Now it's ``digging in the heels" time!

(ANKARA to EX-GERMANY): Our third build was an ill-gotten gain, due to the unsurprising treachery of the French and English re: Germany. We regard Warsaw as yours, so we will make no build for owning it.

(ANKARA to BREST): Our established ownership of Venice and Rome may have taken an extra season, but we kept took them fair and square, and shall not give them back. We'll take the builds for them, and try to use them to seize your other ill-gotten dots.

(KEITH to DON): Thanks for checking your messages. And following up. Now please just support me in Moscow continually, unless I leave another 11th-hour phone message for you.

COLUMBUS CHILL: 1993 J, Regular Diplomacy


Summer 1920

AUSTRIA (Davis): has a BUD.

FRANCE (Zarr): has f BRE, a MAR, a POR, f SPA(NC), f MID.

GERMANY (Jones): has f HOL, f ENG, f NTH, a BUR, a GAL, a MOS, a VIE, a BOH,

a MUN, a TYO, a LON, a PIC, a UKR, f IRI, f NAO.

TURKEY (Weiss): has a BUL, f TYH, f BLA, a RUM, a VEN, a TRI, a SER,

f GOL, a SEV, f WES, f NAF, f PIE, f ADR.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Rick Davis, 2009 Bodega Avenue, Petaluma, CA 94952, (707) 773-1044

redavis914 of

FRANCE: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

GERMANY: Charles Jones, 1722 Quail Circle, Corona, CA 91720-4155, (909) 735-8981

RUSSIA: Eric Schlegel, 314 Fords Lane, Aberdeen, MD 21001, (410) 272-3314

TURKEY: Richard Weiss, 500 Beale St. # 104, San Francisco, CA 94105, (415) 512-7221

rcw of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) All draws and concessions are still rejected. With fall orders please vote on a concession to Germany, and FG, FGT, GT, and FGTA draw proposals.


(GERMANY >> > MR. low HOF): I wouldn't put that once as your fault. I've played this whole game with Rick and I've never been able to understand him. Rick can't explain his way out of a wet paper bag. Rick can't win a game, he doesn't have the skill. As for three times you could have won, crap and more crap. I've never seen a Turkey/Austria win. ((Neither have I, but of course there is no such thing as a shared win so this is not surprising.)) It's too half assed an alliance to work. The other players would have to be as dumb as dirt for it to have a prayer. You should have tried for an alliance with Harold or me to get a win. Now kill Rick, he deserves it, for the poor way he played in this game. Better yet, let me kill him.

(PHIL R. to CHARLES J.): Let me help you out here. I've met Mike Barno and I hope to meet him again. I haven't met Richard Weiss and I hope I never do. I haven't met Dave Burgess but I don't know if he wants to meet me.

(GERMANY >> > FRANCE): Thanks for writing. I was laid-off and had a death in the family last month and kind of spaced out Jim-Bob's letter with The Abyssinian Prince. You jogged my memory. I will move as you suggest. It is fun watching Turkey (Mr. Low HOF) fuss so. I do believe I am with you, this is the most fun I've had in this game.

(TUR-GERRRYGERM): ``What do Mike Barno, Roland Sasserville and Daf Langley have in common? Toss up question for College Bowl. 10 point question.

(GERMANY >> > MIKE B, DAVE BURGESS, THE STAFFORD BROTHERS, AND RICHARD WEISS): If you want me to believe in you, you will have to contact Harold Zarr. If Harold tells me that you are real, then I will believe.

(TUR-GERRRYGERM): ``What is, all mention R Weiss in The Abyssinian Prince #210 Issue?" Jeopardy host Bart Simpson asks?

(GERMANY >> > JIM-BOB): I do if I have anything to say about it. That is always my goal, every game I play.

(TUR-GERMYGERRY): Can you put one and one together?

(GERMANY >> > TURKEY): In answer to your last question, I play to win. I never stab, except for a sure win. Never, for one or two centers. It's a waste. I only eat an ally to win, and if I can't win I support an ally forever or until he stabs me. Then I turn and kill him. Thus my desire to kill off Austria, he stabbed me by taking Munich and moving into Germany's non-supply center territories. If an ally wants to give me his supply centers so I can win, great. I have no moral problems with it. There is no reason to allow Austria to participate in any draws, he has no power and only one unit which you and I have locked into place. Why you wanted him in, in the first place, is beyond me. By the way, France can keep one center and I can win. So he'll survive just like Austria and he did a lot better and had more say in this game.

(TUR-MIKEYLIKESIT): That figmented lightless closet without retinal photonic stimulation and therefore pigmentless imagination is getting crowded. I never saw a germ either - guess they don't exist.

Actually Austria is the one that I don't believe exists. he says he lives in NorCal he says he's coming to Dead Poet Con, he . . . well, no wonder I narrowed his sphere of influence.

(FRA-TUR): Well, I was certainly not surprised by your remarks in the last issue of TAP. Your ``peculiar style'' is strange only by the standards of decent society, certainly not those of you and your perverted friends in San Francisco. Still, living with that scaggy, crack addicted 'ho (who goes by the name `Lotta Goo') of yours probably seems quite normal to you by now as well.

I do not want you to be of the opinion that I believe you and your homo-people have no value. That is decidedly untrue. Medical research needs lots of specimens on which to conduct experiments. You and your people could fill that need quite nicely. You are readily disposable, currently provide no benefit to society, and are the dead-end rejects of evolution.

The only question is, where to put you do that you can be in a controlled environment? The perfect answer would be to empty the state of North Dakota, and build a wall around the entire state. The amount of food, medicine, fuel, and so on provided to you could then be easily controlled, and you could be used as a ``laboratory'' for studying the effects of changing these inputs to an environment for the rest of us. Of course, there would be no need to waste valuable medical resources on the people located there, beyond that which could provide benefits to the decent population of these great United States.

From your comments, it is obvious that you people take no interest in wanting to defend or support our great country. You seek only to exploit the resources of our country as a means to support your immoral lifestyle, and then have the audacity to tell the rest of us that we have no right to object to the manner in which you live. I think you should go back to slurping out of your AIDS straw, and forget trying to tell the rest of us what ``bad'' people we are. The message just won't sell!

(TURKNOTJERK-HOF BOARD): Don't forget to allow DaveB to vote, and now Roland is in. He supposedly lives in Rhode Island. We all know that Rhode Island is too small for more than Jim Bob and his Mark Lew-like wife (did you let her read what you said about her, Booby?) so Roland can't exist. Hell, Rhode Island is too small to have a 666 Smith St. even though there is a 664 and a 668. So, JimBoob invented him. I have talked with Roland numerous times. And if you want to play perestroika sometimes, it was a figmented variant from TAP. Geez, I liked that game.

(FRA-GER): What a gas! I know that my throwing the game to you is driving Turkey wild, especially since he can't do anything about it. He is such a moron, it would be impossible to believe if he didn't live in San Fran. No doubt, aids has so rotted his brain that it is probably all he can do just to fill out his orders sheet, let alone put together a coherent sentence.


Mike B: Did you read Richard's press in #209 in COlumbus Chill? He thinks that he and that ninny Rick could have won three times. What is he smoking?

Don S: To think he could have allied with the better players, Charles or Harold.

Dan S: Why hasn't he killed the Austrian player?

Jim-Bob B: Someday I'll tell Charles Jones a long story, he has earned it.

Mike B: Who forgot to take away Richard's vote? With that crappy HOF rating he doesn't deserve it.

Don S: I'd vote for taking away Richard's vote, and for getting some of the stuff he is smoking.

Jim-Bob B: Did I tell you guys what Richard did with a group of sailors of various nationalities during Fleet Week? Well,..... he..... it got stuck in....... can you believe it?

Mike B: Richard really doesn't deserve a vote if he did that.

Personal Note to You:

File translated from TEX by TTH, version 1.66.