October 7, 1998

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287

Accessible through Internet at burgess of; FAX to (401) 277-9904

``Public media should not contain explicit or implied descriptions of sex acts. Our society should be purged of the perverts who provide the media with pornographic material while pretending it has some redeeming social value under the public's `right to know'." - Kenneth Starr, 1987, Sixty Minutes interview with Diane Sawyer; courtesy of Rich Goranson... I know, I know, it's all too easy and everyone has the right to change their minds! I got a little kick out of it anyway.

This issue I have ``cleaned up'' a number of old game materials. I still will accept any comments on the three recently ended games, but they leave us with this much slimmed down issue. Lots of unusual game delays too! Sorry there is so little action in here. I hope it will pick up next time. Note that I do have another regular Diplomacy game open, plus my trolling for interest on Colonia VIIb. I know Conrad von Metzke believes that this szine is more E-Mail than postal in flavor and he disparages the ability of the ``postal'' hobby to survive, but I still disagree. I think the ``flavors'' of Diplomacy are going to evolve in terms of TIME between deadlines. Where ``pure'' Internet games run on 48 hour deadlines, I think there will always be a market for longer games and SOME of that longer game market will be generated by people who prefer postal games. And the ``personality'' of games that comes out with those longer deadlines ultimately will be associated with that length of the deadlines instead of whether the game is postal or E-Mail.


People who play long deadlines will expect vehicles like this one, or preferably ``prettier'' vehicles like Costaguana or Graustark or Greatest Hits, where personality, serendipity, and a wide exchange of ideas takes place. As the great economist and recent Nobel Prize winner Gary Becker says, ``people are not all equally patient'' and varying preferences will lead to varying speeds of games. Since people tend to become more patient as they invest in patience generating activities (OK, OK....) and as they gain wealth and get older, what ``we'' old patient people need to do is to figure out how to deal with the natural fact that the young people are going to be more attracted to 24 and 48 hour deadline E-Mail games and thus their energy is mostly lost to us ``old farts'' - Heath Gardner remains the refreshing exception that proves the rule. One (old) man's opinion....

The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada, a bargain at twice the price.... but you can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and new game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $15.00 ($10.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). I am going to defer rate increases for the moment, but only until the current series of game starts is completed. Remember that music comments and reviews are scattered through the game press at times.

Check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch with all of the information you need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at:

Through Jamie McQuinn's Postal portion of the Pouch:

the szine resides in html format. Presently, issues from #190 to the current issue are there, and I will be updating the back issues gradually in the near future.

The most recent issue also can be accessed through David Wang's and Pete Sullivan's web pages. David has grabbed and reserved the HIGHLY prized name:!! His ``version'' of this szine is somewhat more html.friendly than the one I created, so please check it out.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!!


Yes, this is a ``two-fer" and these guys will be on the main list until issue 215. More on them and their publications in future issues - no action on this so far, so I think I need to move on this.... Can you say Mos Eisley Spaceport? Go to it, guys, each one is worth $50 in cash and prizes!!

This is now going to be a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Garret Schenck or Jerry Lucas or Dan Stafford is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Bid on PDORA items, subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for. This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.


The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 3UW, UK (johnh of or JHarrington of The representives in Australia (John Cain, PO Box 4317, Melbourne University 3052, AUSTRALIA) or Belgium and some other European countries (Jef Bryant, Rue Jean Pauly, 121, B-4430 ANS, BELGIUM) also will forward your subscription on to the editor in either Australian dollars or continental European currencies respectively. Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

A discussion is taking place that will address what stance we (the hobby) should take (proactive in some way for sure) toward Hasbro, the new owners of the rights to Diplomacy. If you want to be part of the discussion, send the MESSAGE:

subscribe hasbro

to majordomo of, it works just like the tap mailing list described below. Sending messages to hasbro of sends the mail to the whole list.

The game Diplomacy is a copyrighted product owned by Hasbro and all reproductions or other use of that material in this szine is intended to be personal use and not infringe on those rights in any way. All reproductions are done at a heavy financial loss to the editor and thus are without the remotest possibility of commercial intent, except to promote THE game, the Game of Diplomacy, which you all should purchase from Hasbro or other duly licensed distributors.

First up is another edition of our local area con, come check it out and meet me in person!!

David Partridge (Thu, 24 Sep 1998 07:48:59 -0700 (PDT))


Some of you have come to Diplomatic Incidents before. Some of you are just close enough that I thought you might be able to come this time. Some of you publish szines and I'd greatly appreciate your help in spreading the word about DI and of course hope you might come too. On the weekend of October 17th and 18th we will be gathering at the Weston Hotel for Diplomatic Incident X! It's two days of Diplomacy and other games and a lot of fun. We always have enough Diplomacy for anyone who wants to play and we usually have other games as well, such as civilization, titan, axis and allies, magic, whatever you might be interested in and want to bring. So, come and join us. Bring your friends and spread the word!

Where: Weston Hotel, Boston Ma

When: October 17,18 11:00 AM

Who to contact: Dave Partridge, rebhuhn of, 603-882-3523;

Jack Sinnott, jack_sinnott of, 617-424-9073.

We'll be in the Lobby/Meeting/Bar area of the Westin Hotel. Don't bother calling them as this is strictly informal - we're regulars. You'll see the boards out by the big windows overlooking Dartmouth St and HealthWorks Fitness Club. ((I know this sounds a bit weird, but they let us hang out there and it really works. We look in the windows of the Fitness Club and they look back at us. Your guess is as good as mine as to which thinks which is the stranger....)) Food & beverage is available at reasonable (for Boston) prices - plan on about $10-15 each for a late lunch/dinner plus soda/chips, more with beer/wine. Coolers are *not* welcome.


BY AMTRAK, COMMUTER RAIL & MBTA (except Green Line): Get to BackBay Station (all Amtrak & MetroWest/South MBTA trains stop there, or get on the Orange Line at North Station.) Exit on Clarendon St. Stare at Neiman Marcus. Glance right towards street lights. That's the Westin Hotel, above Turner Fisheries. IF IT'S TOTALLY FRIGID OUTSIDE: there's a way to get to the Westin without ever going outside: find the stairway going down the head of which is across from the T turnstiles; this will lead you to a passage beneath Clarendon St which emerges into Copley Place and which, after meandering up a steep escalator and around to the right at Gucci then down past Sharper Image and thru the HabitTrail ends up at the Westin Lobby!

BY MBTA - NORTH or GREEN LINE: Get to Copley Station. Walk 1 block down Dartmouth St. between the Boston Public Library and Copley Square - you'll see Trinity Cathedral & the Hancock Tower on your left at the other side of the square. The entrance to the Westin will be across the street. Go up the escalator and wander around 'til you see us.

CAR: Best parking is at the Weston. The shops can validate. ((But it is still expensive if you stay all day....))

FROM WEST: MassPike (I-90) to Copley Square Exit. Hotel/Garage is in building on immediate right after emerging from exit tunnel. Circle the block 'til you see the entrance.

FROM NORTH/SOUTH: JFK (I-93) to Storrow Drive. Storrow to Copley Square exit. Bear right at exit onto Beacon St. Bear left at 2nd light onto Clarendon St. Bear right at 6th light onto St.James Ave. (landmarks: Trinity Cathedral & the Hancock Tower - you will drive between them after you turn.) The entrance to the Westin is on the left after the 2nd light, across from the Boston Public Library and the Copley Hotel.

N.B. - there is another garage across from the Hard Rock Cafe on Clarendon St. 2 blocks past St. James Ave & the Hancock Tower. It is adjacent to BackBay Station. Prices are cheaper, but I don't know who validates, so... just remember, there is more legal street parking in the North End or around Faneuil Hall than in Copley and the average ticket these days is $25.00 and they can give one every two hours!

David, rebhuhn of


This section is developing a list of the great party singles of the century. You'll get a definite sense of quirky before we're done. You'll also get a sense of timelessness. I'll assume that I'll also get some comments from some of you. Then, I'm going to set a slate of 20 or so (perhaps more at the rate my thinking is going) and DEMAND votes from you out there. I may get a bit obnoxious on that score as the great freedom to work and play will generate a responsibility to offer some opinions as we near the end of the century. I intend to have a lot of fun with this, and hope all of you do too. We'll end up with a monster party tape at the end of it that I plan to segue and sequence and copy for distribution. The result will be a great New Millenium party tape. So far, we have ``I Melt With You'' by Modern English; George Gershwin's ``I got Plenty O' Nuttin' '' from Porgy and Bess in the 1957 concert recording with Ella Fitzgerald finishing off the vocals after Louis Armstrong blows and sings through the tune; Duke Ellington performing Billy Strayhorn's ``Take the A Train''; Frank Sinatra's ``New York, New York''; ``Planet Claire'' from the B-52's; The (English) Beat's 12 inch version of ``Save It for Later'' ratchets things up to the next level (wherever you put it!); Buster Poindexter's ``Hot, Hot, Hot'' keeps you there; and Koko Taylor cleans up singing Willie Dixon's ``Wang Dang Doodle''.

This time I decided that ``Atomic Dog'' by George Clinton goes on the list. Clinton is one of the backbones of dance music trends from the late 60's through the present. After some thought, I think I agree with a number of TAP writers that ``Atomic Dog'' is the most essential song.

The ``bullpen'' is the list of suggestions that people make that I haven't decided whether or not to include yet. Comments on the bullpen are, of course, actively encouraged. I also am ``working'' on some ideas Mark Luedi tossed out recently. I put Gatemouth in the bullpen for now, but he will be joined by others from that list soon. I know I want ``Gloria'' on the final list, but I want to find a memorable recording (for me, the best live version I ever heard was by Dan Stuart, at Lupo's Heartbreak Hotel in Providence, as the Mayor's office was trying to close us down because Hurricane Gloria was approaching back in the 80's. He had told them ``one last song'' and that last song must have lasted for about 20 minutes with lots of audience participation!). I liked Mark's ``criteria addition" that: ``One of my own criteria for truly great songs is that it can sound as good or better distorted as not, whether on account of poor signal, bad speakers, tape deterioration, car noise.''

BULLPEN: ``Rocking the Casbah'' - The Clash; ``Dancing With Myself'' - Billy Idol's Gen X; ``Walk This Way'' - Run-DMC; Prince - ``1999"; ``Fire on the Mountain'' - the Grateful Dead; Devo - ``Whip It"; B Movie - ``Nowhere Girl"; B-52s - ``Give Me Back My Man" or ``Rock Lobster"; ``Roadrunner'' - Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers; Strunz and Farrah - ``Americas''; Clarence ``Gatemouth'' Brown - ``Up Jumped the Devil''; David Bowie - ``Fame''; ``party at ground zero'' by fishbone; ``Tweediee Dee'' by Lavern Baker ((Wanna explain that one, Stan??)).

SPECIAL GEORGE CLINTON BULLPEN: ``I Just Wanna Testify'', ``Let's Take It to the Stage'', ``The Pinocchio Theory'', and ``Flash Light''.

SPECIAL ROLLING STONES BULLPEN: ``Satisfaction", ``Paint It Black", ``Jumpin' Jack Flash", ``Get Off of My Cloud''.

SPECIAL DRUG MUSIC BULLPEN: ``Cocaine'' - Eric Clapton's version; ``Casey Jones'' - the Grateful Dead; ``Red, Red Wine'' - UB40; The Toys - ``Smoke Two Joints''; ``Panama Red'' - New Riders; ``Smoke, Smoke, Smoke (That Cigarette)'' - Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen; and I'm adding this time ``I'm an Okie from Muskogee'' - Merle Haggard.

Mike Barno (Thu, 17 Sep 1998 14:42:06 -0400)

Subject: The Tie-Dyed Sasquatch of Yellowstone is On-Line!

Hi Jim, Finally got a computer (a retired 486DX2, free from my employer, running Windoze 95) and an ISP. I get e-mail at mpbarno of ...or at least I'm supposed to, it hasn't brought me messages that people said they sent. (Please e-mail me a short reply if you read this.)

Really enjoyed seeing you at VertiGames. Too bad we only ended up playing one long game that wasn't really interactive enough and ran until sunrise. Still part of a fine time.

Mike, mpbarno of

Rich Goranson (Wed, 23 Sep 1998 16:37:45 EDT)


Well, I have a few minutes before work while I'm downloading something so I'd thought I'd send you one of my typical scatterbrained, disjointed letters.

Hasbro: As you know I've been one of the people reading the discussion on and about the Hasbro takeover. I really wanted to write an eloquent informed opinion on the subject, I really did. But there is no way I could have put better and more intelligently than Keith Ammann did in TAP208. He echoes my opinion almost perfectly.

Music: Frightening thing heard recently on the radio: Aerosmith covering the Shangri-La's ``Walking in the Sand." Its so bizarre to hear that song sung with THAT voice.

Jack McHugh's letter: Does Steve McKinnon read this? ((I don't think so.... you know, I have very, very few new subbers from the existing hobbyist fringes, I guess they have tried me and ``not liked me" some time back and never try again. I know in the past I have sent Steve letters gently ridiculing his attitudes toward Voyager, but I've done the same thing to Louise and she still speaks to me. By the way, I still think that Voyager is the lamest series in the Star Trek continuum. I like some of the characters, but the series is lame.)) He is one of the most rabid George Washington fanatics I have ever known. Lee was able to fight off other Union generals for two years (remember, he did not take command until Joe Johnston was wounded) for many reasons. 1) McDowell, McClellan, Pope, McClellan II, Burnside and Hooker were utter incompetents. McDowell just wasn't the man for the job, McClellan was paranoid, Pope was an old fool, Burnside refused to take the advice of his subordinates and Hooker had no confidence in his own abilities or that of his army. Meade knew how to defend but he did not know how to press his advantage. Grant was willing to do what no Union general was willing to do; fight a war of attrition. All Confederate generals still had their minds in the 1810s; you had to utterly destroy your enemy's army in order to defeat him such as what happened at Austerlitz. All Union generals had their minds in 1848. All those frontal attacks were a direct result of the victory at Chapaltepec. No one until Grant truly understood this war's unique circumstances and technologies. He was willing to sacrifice hundreds of thousands of troops because he knew that was what was what was necessary to win the war. ((Well, not QUITE that many. I believe the generally accepted figures for the entire war are 183,148 casualties for the Union and the 122,482 casualities for the Confederates. An elementary student in Wisconsin has a neat little web page about this:

It might amuse you for a few minutes....)) Call him a 19th Century Zhukov. Grant would have never made the assault on Marye's Heights like Burnside did or run under pressure as Hooker did at Chancellorsville. But he would have aggressively pursued the ANV while it was retreating back to Virginia after Gettysburg. Meade still had two corps which were in very good shape after the battle (Sedgwick's VI corps and Slocumb's XII corps). They only gave token pursuit to the retreat, although they did manage to kill yet another general that Lee desperately needed (Pettigrew).

Steve Emmert's letter: Alan Parsons might qualify as drug music. I always tripped out when listening to ``Tales of Mystery and Imagination." And ``Eye in the Sky" was our theme song when I was at NSA. ((Wow! More closet Alan Parsons fans.... we just grow like weeds...))

Tinamou: I am very scared now that my old friend Dr. Bob Dowrey is reading this drivel. He still owes me a game of Fortress Europa from 1982 or so. I wonder if I still even have the game. If space and propriety permits I should tell you what I and his brothers did to him for his honeymoon... ((Oh, please do, please do....))

Titanic: The boat sank, get over it.

eBENZENE: Some of Mark comments sound like Erica Jong's on a special a few months ago. ``What a turn on it would be to swallow the presidential come," she said. I'm still trying to figure out two things: 1) What in the bloody blue blazes does Lewinsky have to do with Whitewater (this IS what Starr is allegedly empowered to investigate) and 2) Why did Starr violate the law when he released Grand Jury testimony? If this were a real court case instead of a political dog and pony show it would have been declared a mistrial long ago. I assume that you saw the quote that I sent you from Starr regarding sex in the media. Seems that hes forgotten it. Another fun Starr note is that he has taken over a half million in legal fees from a private group which is supporting the Wisconsin government in its upcoming supreme court fight regarding government vouchers for religious schools. The Wisconsin government violated the 1st Amendment and very specifically violated the Wisconsin Constitution when it passed the law permitting it. There is no way it can possibly fly in Washington. The Supreme Court has been pretty consistent on ruling that government money cannot go directly into religious coffers. Indirectly (in the forms of liberal tax exemptions for mainstream religions and not-for-profit status) government will always financially support religion. So much for our highest law... ((My favorite Starr story that to me shows a whole lot of things about the man is the one about where he conducted one of his job interviews for one of his assistant prosecutors in this investigation. He likes to say what a great family man he is and he likes to mix business and pleasure. He met the interviewee at Princeton and conducted the job interview while touring the Princeton campus with one of his children who is scouting out an undergraduate school. This is a man who does not like to waste time.))

Bill Paxon's heir apparent seems to be Tom Reynolds of Springville (the town where I was born). Reynolds is the Assembly Majority speaker and is expected to win in the very largely Republican 27th New York district in Congress. But scandal has hit him as well. Recently the Assembly passed an special bill permitting him to enroll in a pension program that they knew he did not qualify for. Cost to the taxpayer, $1.5 million. Not a smart thing to do for someone who wants one of the most prestigious districts in the country. He also did not even make a token appearance when Southern Erie county was hit by massive flooding a few months ago. He was too busy working on his pension deal.

Do you know that for another election there is not even one candidate for governor that is from the upstate counties. Yet another four years of rape and pillage of upstate by the NYC power bosses regardless of who wins, just like the last 100 years have been. Depressing.

Rich, ForlornH of

((I have a couple of semi-lost letters to slip in... here's the first one.))

Dick Martin (Mon, 6 Jul 1998 12:09:31 -0500)

hey jimbob - it was interesting to see those old music lists. i don't think mine would be all that different nowadays. if i get around to it i'll whip up a list of desert island singles for you.

but i do have a nominee for the party tape now: ``party at ground zero" by fishbone. great lil tune!

richard martin, blarf of

((That gets added to the bullpen. I think I'm going to get around to the voting part soon.... I'm having real trouble sorting out the new wave era onwards. Now, here's a more recent letter that reminded me about the old one. Just as a hint, when you write me a letter with multiple things in it, they can get misplaced... Dick also writes me about John Caruso's baseball league, where I beat his Orioles out yet again!!))

Dick Martin (Sat, 3 Oct 1998 16:57:08 -0500)

i can't believe we ended up as close at the end as we did. most of my pitchers' arms fell off, and most of my hitters were well below their averages too. does anybody *ever* perform better than their numbers in this league?!?! none of my hitters ever have. more typical is somebody like tettleton who goes from .300 one year to .250 the next to .200 the year after.... even gwynn & ripken were merely human this year. ((You have to know how and when to ``go back to the well''. I'm still learning how the players play, but I've got a few well tested secrets! In my ballpark, it tends to be the pitchers who go on those ``Tettleton slides''.))

one of these days i'll get party tape nominations to you. i'd have picked ``love shack" instead of ``planet claire" even though i love that first b52's record. and i second the nominations for koko taylor & ``atomic dog." ki yi yippee yippee ki yi yay! ``midnight rambler" though? please spare me! (``get off of my cloud" on the other hand....) ((You are officially spared. Once you mentioned ``cloud'' I realized that you were on the right wavelength.))

oh well, maybe in a day or two i'll get it together enough to make a list.

richard martin, blarf of

((I commented to Eric on The Mekons latest album, Me. ``The best songs on the album are among their best songs in some time. But they aren't making music like the Retreat from Memphis days any more. I don't know if you would like it or not. It is unique and won't let you walk away from it as background wallpaper.''))

Eric Ozog (Mon, 20 Jul 1998 22:05:33 -0700)

It wasn't like Retreat from Memphis was a great album; it is a good album, although it has some dog songs. But it is way better than I Love Mekons. ((Sacrilege, sacrilege!! Call out the dogs!!)) I'll ask my brother to record Me for me.

((I'm actually pretty upbeat, just tired!))

That's cool. I need to go out on a forest fire to clarify my mind.

Eric, elferic of

Al Tabor (Thu, 04 Jun 1998 07:55:10 GMT)

I've traded cars with the baby sitter - she's got a sprained ankle and needed an automatic transmission - so I've got a car with a tape deck! Drove accross the bridge today listening to Mekons compliments of the Jim Burgess 1995 Top Ten tape. It was very nice.

Btw, I've read Pussy, King of the Pirates and if you want to read Acker I'd suggest starting with something else...maybe Western Lands by Burroughs. ((You know, that's good to hear, because I liked the CD, but did NOT like the book at all.)) Seriously, Pussy isn't her best. I've probably liked Kathy Goes to Haiti best of the 4 or 5 that I've read and Pussy the least.

Let me know if you need a gratuitous Pussy quote and I'll dig one out. ((Any time, any time....))

Bye for now, Al, al.t of

Eric Ozog (Mon, 28 Sep 1998 01:20:58 -0700)

I'm interested in guest GMing for you once my last RBM game ends. ((You know there are two people who can have anything they want regarding this szine, the two of you who go back the farthest and deepest with me in this hobby, and that is Bob Olsen and you. You don't even have to ask.))

You would be proud of Kurt and me-Kurt visited us here about a week ago and he and I took a trip to downtown Seattle one day to go up the Space Needle. Starting on the way home-now picture this-here are the two Ozog brothers, wearing their sunglasses, cruising downtown Seattle in my ghetto cruiser (the '78 Mercury Cougar XR7), playing The Mekons Rock 'N' Roll really loud and singing along: ``Late one night the club was heaving, I saw a vampire move across the floor, old and white with a silver cane, lusting for youth through the mirror...I saw a world where the dead are worshipped, this world belongs to them, and they can keep it" and ``Poor Ollie North, down in the subway dealing drugs and guns, turning little liars into heros, that's what they've always done."

Eric, elferic of

((It don't get any better than that...))

Andy York (Sun, 20 Sep 1998 17:24:32 -0400 (EDT))

Regarding the postal versus the electronic version of TAP. The E version is just fine, though a hardcopy would be nice if I'm in a game. ((Ah, and now you are, welcome back!!)) However, even if I'm in a game I can certainly live with the E version.

I guess what I'm saying is that if you wish to send me the postal version I don't mind (and will put it in the Alamo Archives). However, I understand the costs involved in mailing a postal version (and in being a pubber) and don't want to burden you unnecessarily. ((No problem, I KNOW that the postal people read the szine lots more than the E people do. The commentary back to me is at LEAST ten to one. That does it for me, I want the szine to be read!!))

And, another music related comment, I'm trying to inventory my music. At work I can play CDs on my PC when I'm working. So, I've decided to try to play through the CD collection and create a database of what I own. Of course I'll need to do the cassettes and LPs here at home.

As I've recently started it, I can change what I do. I'm curious about whether it is better, as a rule, to make the listing based on ``artist, title, medium, label, date" or being more precise by listing individual titles. One CD brought this to mind. It is a single CD by the Mexican Symphony and includes portions of pieces by three different Russian composers. Is it better just to list the anthology or to make three separate entries for the three composers or be more detailed by listing each movement? Your thoughts, ideas and such are very welcome.

Thanks for TAP and your supportive comments!!

-Andy, wandrew of

((I have some of your same problems as I also categorize my classical music by Composer. HOWEVER, I do not group composers alphabetically but I group them by style and period. Thus, all my Russian Composers are together and then I usually have a small section of ``crossover" records with the Russian composers that would include your example. All such problems are not addressed that way, but not surprisingly most of them are.))

Rick Desper (Sun, 4 Oct 1998 08:38:57 -0400 (EDT))

Well, when I went to sleep the Sox were up 1-0. When I woke up they'd lost 2-1. So be it. They didn't have very much hitting (strange for a Red Sox team) and they had been using mirrors all season for the pitching staff.

I was glad Jimy decided to use Schourek in Game 4. A lot of the critics of this decision just don't understand the problem. Who did they want to pitch in game 5, if Pedro had pitched in game 4? Wakefield? Wakefield has been awful lately, and Schourek was pitching very well recently (and he pitched as well as anybody could have asked him to yesterday).

Yesterday I sent a letter to Rob Neyer at ESPN saying

1) Starting Schourek was a good idea

2) He was wrong to criticize Jimy for brining in Eck in game 3. I pointed out Gordon had not been great in non-save situations.

I was glad to see game 4 back me up with #1, but sad to see it also justify #2 a little bit too.

I've read that Duquette wants to get another top starter. While that's great, the Sox will have major hitting woes if they don't resign Mo and they continue to get below-average output from their outfield.

Rick, desper of

((I agree with every word of that. It's a pretty concise summing up of another Red Sox season. I'm not sure if I want them to make a Florida Marlins move for one year or whether I want them to grow this team slowly. Next year I expect to be another year like this one. Let's finish up with some more whining by my favorite whiner, Steve Emmert. He praises me for how quickly the thick enveloped szine got to him, but I commented on how much money I save with the smaller envelopes. He responded as below, but when I told him the cost [about $100 a year more] he did not reply....))

Steve Emmert (Wed, 23 Sep 1998 12:25:36 -0400)

The envelopes are too expensive? What kind of an excuse is that?

Well, Jim-Bob, how 'bout if I help you with that. How many such envelopes would you need in a given month? Maybe I can be your supplier. I would, of course, expect some advertising consideration, kind of like they've done with the college football bowl games. You know, ``The Abyssinian Prince, brought to you by Steve Emmert." (Naah. Too long.) ``The Steve Emmert Abyssinian Prince." (Better, but still unwieldy.) ``The Steve Emmert." (I like it. Snappy, hip, with-it.)

Steve, SEMMERT of


``I have never learned ... to play the lyre, but I know how to make a small and obscure city rich and great." (Themistocles, in Plutarch's Lives.)

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904.

Standby lists: Mike Barno, John Breakwell, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Doug Kent, Paul Rauterberg, Doug Essinger-Hileman, Stan Johnson, Harry Andruschak, Heath Gardner, Dave Partridge, Andy York, Michael Pustilnik, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy. Mike Barno and Harry Andruschak stand by for the Colonial Diplomacy game. Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, and Paul Kenny standby for the Modern Diplomacy game. Let me know if you want on or off these lists. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks. I'd really appreciate it if anyone wanted to be added to the lists.


I think it is likely there will be another regular game started. I have interest expressed from at least two or three people in addition to the people below. You also can send your $15 for your life of the game sub and game fee with NMR insurance now. Kent Pollard ($15), Jim Sayers $20), and Kurt Ozog are on the list so far. Jim is from Australia and I will let his crisp twenty give him the life of the game sub and all even with the higher postage. Jim is on E-Mail, but I probably should warn pure postal players that he is in the game.

I am trolling for players for Colonia VIIb. I have direct interest expressed from David Partridge, Robert Stimmel, Paul Rauterberg, and Stan Johnson. Could we firm that up in the next few issues, please? I am still looking for ideas on what I will need to know to run Colonia. At this point, I will be running it WITHOUT printing a map in the szine.

On another front, I'd really like this Black Hole game to start too! Conrad von Metzke recently finished GMing a black hole game where you can freely jump over black holes instead of having them render spaces impassible. I played in this game and like the tactics of jumping over the black holes a great deal. Now there the black holes were random, but what would happen if you could plan them? The next NYEED game will feature this rule change and will be a 7x7 tourney format unless I am convinced otherwise. I STILL am itching to get this game started, so it will start as soon as it is filled! You get a life of game sub, and the game itself is FREE!! Sandy Kenny, Mike Barno, and John Schultz are signed up. Off an offhanded suggestion in the NYEED press, we'll call it Nelson Mandela. Just four more and we'll get started! Come on, this one will be REALLY exciting!!

Conrad von Metzke is the editor and publisher of Pontevedria, the game openings listing, if you're interested in other game openings. Send Conrad a SASE for the latest issue to: Conrad von Metzke, 4374 Donald Avenue, San Diego, CA 92117. Conrad is discussing folding this service. I think actually it needs someone to pick it up with a web page where it can be posted. I'd like to nudge Jamie McQuinn into talking to Conrad about taking it over and putting in the postal section on The Diplomatic Pouch page, where this szine also resides. I realize that I should probably volunteer to do this since I'm the most active contributor to that page, but I'd really rather not. What we need is for the postal openings to be accessible on the Net.

SO GOOD IT HURTS: 1998 P, Regular Diplomacy


Winter 1900

AUSTRIA (Essinger-Hileman): bld f tri, a vie, a bud.

ENGLAND (James): bld f lon, f edi, a lvp.

FRANCE (Dwyer): bld f bre, a mar, a par.

GERMANY (Goesle): bld f kie, a ber, a mun.

ITALY (Rauterberg): bld f nap, a rom, a ven.

RUSSIA (Rusnak): bld f stp(sc), f sev, a war, a mos.

TURKEY (Emmert): bld f ank, a con, a smy.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Doug Essinger-Hileman, 309 North Main Street, Masontown, PA 15461 ($5)

revref of

ENGLAND: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956 ($5)

dkbn of

FRANCE: Luke Dwyer, Colgate University, Box J 1262, 13 Oak Hill Drive, Hamilton, NY 13346, (315) 228-4625

School Breaks Only: 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($5)

GERMANY: Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235 ($5)

ITALY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($5)

prosit of

RUSSIA: Russ Rusnak, 1551 Highridge Avenue, Westchester, IL 60154-3428 ($5)

TURKEY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842 ($5)


Game Notes:

1) If I need to correct or add any contact information above, please get it to me ASAP. Thanks!

2) We have a Boardman Number from Conrad von Metzke. Hmmmm, only the 16th US postal BN this year so far? That just firms up my intent to start at least one more regular game before the end of the year. Sign up and be part of the ``new wave''.


(IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE COMPASSIONATE, THE MERCIFUL): We have decided to lighten up just a tad on some of the Islamic restrictions around here. First, violations of the ban on the use of alcohol are hereby lifted, but only for first-rate bourbon and single malt scotch. (You've got to draw the line somewhere.) Second, the diplomatic moratorium on correspondence with infidel European powers will terminate as soon as we hear something constructive from their embassies. Courtesy will be treated with courtesy; veiled threats will be answered with scimitars.

(ANKARA to LONDON): (Tee-hee!) Hey, buddy, I think I have something that belongs to you. You left it - um - behind in Suffren.

(ANKARA to BOARD): I just had a physical last month, and my doctor patted me on the head and said, ``Good boy." Any of you who refer to me as ``the sick man of Europe" will get a copy of my cholesterol count and a punch in the nose.

(ANKARA to BOARD): The Defender of the Faith has announced the hiring of two new military consultants, Orville and Wilbur Wright. They say they're working on some sort of flying apparatus, and hope to have the damn thing operational by December 1903. By the spring of '04, we will have a full-fledged air force, and will bomb you guys back to the Stone Age. This whole project is, of course, very hush-hush, but I thought you should know what's in store. ((I don't think secrecy is your by-word....))

(VIRGINIA BEACH to PROVIDENCE): I noticed that you've loaded this game up with yankees. Six to one; that sounds about fair. ((Note the casualty ratio above.... I think you still lose.))



Addresses of the Participants

TEAM 1: Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02192

72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

Team Name: Farmer McGregor's Dinner


A: "Flopsy" 6 7 8 9 B: "Mopsy" 7 8 10 C: "Cottontail" 5 7 8 D: "Peter" 4 5 7

Eric ((I need a name for your team and your four riders. Also you missed the rule that the MAXIMUM card value you can choose for the beginning of the game is 15.))

TEAM 2 (Chef's Crackers): Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY

desper of

Members: (listed from fastest to slowest) Stan Marsh (aka the Star Quarterback); Kyle Broslofski (aka the Lonely Jew); Kenny McCormick (aka the Pov); Eric Cartman (aka the FatAss); Coach is, of course, Chef.

((You have it all set.))

TEAM 3 (Goz Transportation Co.): Warren Goesle, 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235

gozcorp of

Riders: A: Alessandro Cyclotron; B: Bernard Spoke; C: Christoph Wheelhub; D: Damon Velodrome.

Hopefully that fulfills all the rules. From Magnesium (which is a suburb of Krypton), Go-El

((Way to go, Go-El, now control those powers of yours, you still have to abide by the speed limits!!))

TEAM 4 (Brit Pack): John Harrington, 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex, EN1 3UW UK

johnh of

Alfred the Great, Sir Isaac Newton, Will Shakespeare, John Logie-Baird.

TEAM 5: Mark Luedi, 7478 Way Road, Honor, MI 49640

((Ludes, you are missing in action? I need my midwestern bicycling superstar to round out this crowd. Note that Go-El lives in Indiana where you used to hang out and where the true center of midwestern bicycle racing is supposed to be. You need to show Warren who's boss!!))

TEAM 6 (The Stoogecycles): David Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722

rebhuhn of

Team Members: Curly (A), Larry (B), Mo (C), and Shemp (D)

TEAM 7 (The Flat Wheel Society): John Schultz, #19390, Marion County Jail II, 730 East Washington Street, Indianapolis, IN 46202

Broke Leg Meg, Shane the Chain, Barkin' Larkin', Chasin' Jason.

((You still need to update after missing the rule that the MAXIMUM card value you can choose for the beginning of the game for any rider is 15.))

Game Notes:

1) I hate to delay this yet again, but John Schultz sent me a quick note and requested an emergency separation. For John, in his situation, I wanted to cut him some slack. We have almost everyone else cleaned up, except for Ludes, who has sloughed off all of my threats. A few people have asked if they can replace Mark. I think we can have MORE than seven players too, can't we Mr. Designer? If anyone else wants in (this means you, Andy York and Rich Goranson), they should send CARDS as well as team and rider names by the next deadline. I WILL not delay this any more, I promise.


(GOZ to JOHN H): You're not going to change the rules on us as we go are you? Or is that a Boob job?

(GOZ to DAVE): Well, we finally meet across a game. Watch out, I may put a stick in your riders' spokes.

(GOZ to RICK): That *was* an interesting game in Chapel Hill. I didn't go with you against Vince because I feared that you would win. Vince didn't go with me against you because he feared that I'd win. Hence the 3-way. A lot of fun though.


(Chef is talking to Stan, Kenny, and Kyle)

Chef: OK, boys, you all heard what the Big Man said. No unnatural supplements.

Stan,Kyle: Aww.

Kenny: Mmmm Mmmmm!

Stan: You said it, Kenny!

(Chef collects all the Andro and throws it away.)

Chef: That should do. Hey, kids, has any of you seen Eric?

(Eric walks in, wearing his "Beefcake" t-shirt. He weights about 125 lbs., which is quite a lot for an 8-year old boy!)

Eric: I'm going to be really strong for this race!

Stan: Cartman! You're going to be fat for this race!

Kyle: Yeah, Cartman, when you walk down the street, people say ``God damn it, that's a big fat ass!"

Eric: No they don't, you jealous weakling.

(An onlooker passes by)

Onlooker: God damn, that's a big fat ass!

Eric: Hey!

(Vote for Eric as Man of the Century at the Time website! He's currently in second place!)

((I voted, it is a pretty weird list as (except for the Internet Movie Database - for the most part) people are discovering that you can't have a ``fair'' vote on the Internet. I think having Jesus Christ in first place when he didn't live during the century is a bit unfair. Time probably will just bend it to the ``Dual Millenium'' and fail to report the rest of the voting. Sarah McLachlan is doing awfully well....))

FEAR AND WHISKEY: 1998Ers31, Modern Diplomacy


Summer 1996

BRITAIN (Schultz): has f NWG, a LON, f SWE, f SAO, f NAO, f BEL.

EGYPT (J. O'Donnell): has a ESA, a ALE, f LIB, a JOR, f RED.

FRANCE (Andruschak): has f GOL, a NAV, a LYO, f POR, a SWI, a MAR, a BAR.

GERMANY (Rauterberg): has a HAM, a RUH, a MUN, f BHM, a HOL, f DEN, a AUS.

ITALY (Ozog): has f ION, a MIL, f MAL, a SER, f ALB.

POLAND (Sasseville): has a WAR, f GDA, f LIT, a KRA, a STP.

RUSSIA (Goranson): has a MOS, a BIE, a FIN, a LAP, f GOB.

SPAIN (S. O'Donnell): has a MAD, f TUN, a GIB, a SVE.

TURKEY (Pollard): has a IRN, a ANK, a BUL, a AZE, f GEO, f AEG, a MAC.

UKRAINE (Partridge): has a CRP, f WBS, a KIE, a VOL, a POD, a RUM, f ROS.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: John Schultz, #19390, Marion County Jail II, 730 East Washington St., Indianapolis, IN 46202

EGYPT: Jeff O'Donnell, 402 Middle Ave., Elyria, OH 44035-5728, (440) 322-2920 ($5)

FRANCE: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202 ($5)

GERMANY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

ITALY: Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138, (360) 691-4264 ($5)

ElfEric of

POLAND: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

roland6 of

RUSSIA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532, (716) 876-9374 ($5)

ForlornH of

SPAIN: Sean O'Donnell, 126 S. Park, Oberlin, OH 44074, (440) 774-2928 ($5)

sean_o_donnell of

TURKEY: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190, ($10)

UKRAINE: Dave Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722, (603) 882-3523 ($9)

rebhuhn of

Game Notes:

1) Check out the Modern Dip web page at: Cyberia/modern.htm

2) Welcome to John Schultz who takes over for Jonas Johnson with this turn. Jonas has resigned from all his games and is leaving the hobby, at least for the moment, to deal with work and other issues outside the hobby. We wish him the best of everything!

3) For those of you watching this game from the general readership, note that there was a ``correction'' errata issue on this game, quoting from the game notes: ``I put one of Poland's fleets on the map in the wrong place. More seriously, Paul Rauterberg sent me an update to his orders two days before the deadline. I received it prior to the deadline, but in an egregious GM error, I misfiled the orders. I probably would have found them if I hadn't had orders on file. Thanks to Paul for pointing out the error to me, I would have noticed it eventually as I cleaned up my E-Mail, but this way it gets announced more quickly!'' Anyone else interested in seeing the errata sheet can either check out the Web page or ask me directly.

4) John Schultz has some kind of emergency problem of indeterminant severity and origin. I know I am praying for him, I hope he doesn't need it. This is a warning that I might delay the game by an issue if I haven't heard from John by the next deadline. If any of Paul, Jack, or Brad (the Philadelphia Three) really want to be the next standby in line, they should alert me ASAP.


(THE MEKONS QUOTE OF THE MONTH): ``I only know that he who forms a tie is lost. The germ of corruption has entered his soul.'' - Mekons stolen from something they once read somewhere.... put in here by someone who has that ``germ of corruption'' since I actually LIKE wearing ties....

(SPAIN to BOARD): I will be going into complete silence from here on out so finish me.

(GM to SEAN): I'm not trying to be difficult here, but forgive me if I am skeptical about the ``complete silence'' part.... I also ***tried*** to follow your convoluted requests about which press to publish and which press to delete. If I got it wrong, I suggest in the future that you just save it up on a floppy disk and then send what you want to have printed to me at the end. I'm pretty sure I've printed some press that you wanted deleted and deleted some press that you wanted printed.

(SPAIN to I/G): Better come up with something fast.

(AMBASSADOR ATÄTURK PO-LLARD to THE WORLD): Notice our file photo only recently taken. Our newly acquired Armored Personnel Carriers and their crews are receiving special instructions. Soon they will be on the move...

(ANDRUSCHAK-GM): TAP #208 with a deadline of 12 September arrived on 22 September. Some doofus put a Polish fleet in LAT instead of in LIT on the map. ((That doofus would be me....)) Better get on his case. ((I went and stood on my briefcase, but it didn't help, perhaps I need a full case.)) Speaking of the map, shouldn't IRN (Iran) be considered a space with split coasts as far as fleets go? ((Yes, it definitely should!)) You need to add (nc) and (sc) as appropriate. Sorry, but Internet acecess at the local library is very limited (MASSIVE budget cuts) and the school kids usually have them all reserved until closing time. ((You wouldn't live in Orange County, would you? Never mind.... you're excused.)) My 54th birthday was 4 October 1998. Sputnik One was launched on my 13th birthday. I remember that well. Could write up the story if you think anybody in TAP might be interested in something that happened so long ago. ((I thought the launching was closer to the day I was born, which was five days before your aforementioned 13th birthday....))

(SPAIN to BOOB): No I am not like that when watching tv. I get like that when I'm reading a romance novel.

(TURKISH SCIENCE FICTION CLUB to MR. ANDRUSCHAK): We have not received your last payment. Please remit.

(SPAIN to BOOB 2): Ain't a boob part of a woman. Or are you trying to scare us by the boo?

(A TURKISH ZEALOT to AMBASSADOR SCHULTZ): Welcome to the scene of Armageddon!

(SPAIN to ITALY): I apologize for leaving the plan, but you could help wipe me out if I allowed you through there and so fourth.

(GERMANY to BRITAIN): Oh, dear. We have to get a bloody build somewhere, don't you know....

(THE FOURTH REICH to BOARD): Here we are, timid as churchmice. Who would have expected it (a surfeit of allies?) of us, the bellicose ones who are so prone to ROARing....

(POLAND to FRANCE): A little close to the Italian borders, aren't you?

(BRITAIN to SPAIN): ``May God grant you always; a sunbeam to warm you, a moonbeam to charm you, a sheltering angel so nothing can harm you.''

(BRITAIN to POLAND): Make room. I'll be there soon enough.

(SPAIN to FRANCE): I will not cease fire on all French even with your apologies I would have to keep to the declaration of war. All I want you to do for the cease fire is to move out of Bar and I'll battle for Por.

(HARRY ANDRUSCHAK - SEAN O'DONNELL): Some more friendly advice. Please give serious consideration to joining the NYEED game. I'll be glad to give you some strategy tips, starting with the concept of ``tit-for-tat''. Trust me, I'm just trying to help.

(SPAIN to ALL OF TAP MEMBERS): If you wish to play me to my face then please be in Dayton Ohio November 7th Jamie's Rubicon games. Then you can say I saw I conquered or something to that effect.

(FRANCE-GM): I received letters from Germany on 9 September, from Britain on 11 September, and from Poland on 18 September. Nothing from Egypt/Italy/Russia/Turkey/Ukraine. I think postal PBM is on its last legs, despite your cheerful, upbeat outlook.

(SPAIN to THE FRENCH FOREIGN LEGION): Can you please get out of Spain? I made an alliance with James Bond he left MI6 he is now part of the Spanish High Command.

(PIRATE CAPTAIN ANDRUSCHAK-WORLD): ``Never clean a porthole with a soft boiled egg.''

(SPAIN >> > FRANCE): ``Non (ita me di ament) quicquam referre putavi, utrumne os an culum olfacerem Andruschak. Nilo mundius hoc, niloque immundior ille, verum etiam culus mundior et melior: nam sine dentibus est.'' Translation: God help me, I didn't think there was much in it; whether I sniffed Andruschak's mouth or his rear end. The former is no fresher, the latter is no fouller. But come to think of it, his rear end is finer because at least it has no teeth.

(SPAIN to BOOB): You Killed Kenny!

(POPE to SPAIN): ``There is an angel watching over you in good times, trouble, or stress. His wings are wrapped round about, whispering you are loved and blessed.''


(CHARLES JONES >> > PACK OF IDIOTS): Let's see if I got this straight. France supports a German army that isn't there, Poland cannot tell the difference between a fleet and an army, and Spain cannot fight his way out of a paper bag. I'm asking the GM to put me on the standby list for this game just so I can get a chance to show you beef jerkys how the game is SUPPOSED to be played, even if the GM doesn't know where half the Polish fleets really are. ((I resemble that remark!!))

(SPAIN to BOARD): I am disengaging in all alliances I have including Jeff's. Past that they no longer exist if they existed in the beginning. I have no blood type. Red.


(BOOB to DR. WEISS): I think Harry has it right, can you exist without a blood type??

(SPAIN to BRITAIN): What's up. Nice knowing yah! Unlike everyone else on the board. I don't believe the policy will change all that much with an anti-Spain so I'm no longer in Spain I'm in the White Star* on the coast of Tunisia.

(FRANCE-BRITAIN): We need to re-negotiate the fee structure for the use of the Channel Tunnel. We should charge fees based on the number of people in the car instead of the current flat fee per car. This change should fix the problem of the Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.

(SPAIN to ITALY): I still say it might be in the south.

(PALACE OF VERSAILLES-GRECIAN EUNUCHS): So why blame Us for the acts of the Turks? The practice of castration is an ancient one, seen in almost every culture that ever existed. (Including Classical Greece.) ((I wonder if Henry Hyde has heard of it....)) That would include most of the Biblical ones. ((Can you say David and Bathsheba?? Sure you can.... I guess David avoided it so that the genealogy in the New Testament could be followed.)) This does NOT mean that We approve of what has been done to you. Indeed no. In fact, We intend to come to your rescue Real Soon Now. ((Are you related to Mark Nelson??)) (We have to eliminate the barbaric institution of the bullfight in Spain first.) By the way, We hope the Turks didn't add insult to injury by circumcising you as well. ((How would we know??)) Bur rest assured that We will come to avenge you, and deal those dastardly Turks (and their rotten science fiction writers) a blow they will never forget. Now please look on the bright side of life. Your castrations mean you have amuch lower chance of death from prostate cancer. Ask Dr. Weiss if you don't believe Us. ``If Life hands you lemons, make lemonade!''

(SPAIN to EGYPT): You have a choice to make and you will not like the choices.

(RICH GORENSON (sic) to SEAN O'DONNELL (sick)): Will you please stop all those whines about Spain being the first country eliminated? Russia is far more likely to be eliminated first.

(SPAIN to BOARD): I'm going into Communication Silence I'll just wait to get blitzed it won't take that long to do so since after all I'll have only Tunis by the end of next year or less. Spain over and out.

SHOW ME THE MONEY: 1997Mea04, Colonial Diplomacy


Pre-Spring 1904

BRITAIN (York): has f MAD, f ADEN, a PUN, a BOM, f RS,

f HK, f SIN, a TIB, f SHI, f EIO, a BEN, f SCS, f MAL.

CHINA (Goranson): a SHA, a ASS, a CHU.

FRANCE (Sasseville): a TON, f COC, f GOS, f ANN, a CAN,

a MAY, a YUN, a U.BUR, f FOR.

HOLLAND (Desper): f JAVA, f BOR, f SIO, f SUL.S,

a SUM, f JS, f MNA.

JAPAN (Dwyer): a KYU, a KYO, f TOK, f ECS, a P.ART,

f SAK, f YS, f SOJ, a SEO.

RUSSIA (Williams): a MOS, a OMSK, a ODE,

f BLA, a CON, a KRA, f MAC, a BAG, a URU, a PEK, a SIK, a MON, f ANG.

TURKEY (Tallman): f GOA, a EGY, f SUD.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Andy York, PO Box 201117, Austin, TX 78720-1117

wandrew of

CHINA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532, (716) 876-9374 ($5)

ForlornH of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($8)

Djrolandb of

HOLLAND: Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY (E-Mail)

desper of

JAPAN: Luke Dwyer, Colgate University, Box J 1262, 13 Oak Hill Drive, Hamilton, NY 13346, (315) 228-4625

School Breaks Only: 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($4)

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947 ($6)

wllmsfmly of

TURKEY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($0)

ttallman of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Thanks to Andy York for jumping into the game very quickly and with some gusto!! I really appreciate it. Could I have a phone number, Andy? We are sorry to be saying goodbye to Jonas Johnson, who is resigning from all of his Diplomacy games and the hobby. I know I speak for everyone in wishing him all the best.

2) Still, with all of Andy's gusto, players were concerned that they did not have enough time to get acquainted with Andy and bring him into the game. I tried to be sensitive to those feelings and have delayed the game. Spring will not be due until the 24th. Please realize that as you receive this, that is NOT far away! You must begin negotiating now as I will not delay the game further.


(DUTCH HQ): (empty HQ room. Hugely overweight Eric Cartman walks in. Signs all over the room say things like ``race today" ``Don't forget the race" ``Go Crackers!"

(TURKEY to ENGLAND): Here try a little toke on this. The former Brit, Pip, used to smoke this stuff all the time. Cartman, the Russian, hates it because it makes him happy. Strange, dude.

Kenny, the chinese kid likes a little now and then but not much bothers him.

Wanna see me leg? It's Patrick Duffy!

(ERIC): Hey, where is everybody? Ack! I'm on the wrong page!

THE HERMIT: 1995 IH, Regular Diplomacy

End Game Statements!

THE HERMIT endgame statement: (MIKE BARNO to RANDY ELLIS): Death.



Summer 1911

ENGLAND (Lowrey): has f NTH, a DEN, a KIE, f NAF, f BAR, f SWE, f BAL, a STP.

FRANCE (Rauterberg): has a BUR, a MAR, a MUN, a PIE, a RUH, a LVN, f GOL, f WES,

a BER, a ROM.

GERMANY (Kent): has a SIL.

RUSSIA (Williams): has a SEV.

TURKEY (Sherwood): has a SER, a TYO, a VEN, a WAR, a MOS, f AEG, a GAL, f ION,

f TYH, a BOH, f TUN, a APU, f NAP.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($7)

ttallman of

ENGLAND: Michael Lowrey, 4322 Water Oak Road, Charlotte, NC 28211

mlowrey of

ENGLAND EMERITUS: Tom Nash, 202 Settlers Road, St. Simons Island, GA 31522, (912) 634-1753 ($4)

75763.707 of CompuServe.COM

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($5)

prosit of

GERMANY: Doug Kent, 10214 Black Hickory Rd., Dallas, TX 75243 (214) 234-8386 ($5)

73567.1414 of CompuServe.COM

ITALY: Simon Billenness, 33 Lancaster Terrace, Apt. 211, Brookline, MA 02446, (617) 731-1419 ($5)

sbillenness of

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947

wllmsfmly of

RUSSIA EMERITUS: Ken Peel, 12041 Eaglewood Court, Silver Spring, MD 20902, (301) 949-4055 ($5)


TURKEY: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367 ($4)

ksher of or Keith_Sherwood of

TURKEY EMERITUS: Pete Gaughan, 502 Mt. Dell Drive, Clayton, CA 94517-1503, (925) 673-3396 ($4)

gaughan of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes (back from the tropopause):

1) The game specific standby list for this game includes Garret Schenck, Cathy Cunning Ozog, Mike Mills, Dick Martin, Vince Lutterbie, and Eric Brosius in reverse alphabetical order (note that Garret is STILL missing... someone find him!). Guest press from potential standbys would be a ``good thing'' if they wanted to be chosen.

2) The FET 'tis rejected again. It also is reproposed along with the much more interesting FRET draw. Please vote on them with your fall orders! As always, failure to vote vetoes the proposals.


(MONSEWER to SULTAN KEITHER BEY): That was some remarkable guessing you did last season, dude. Am I getting so obvious?

(PEOPLES' REPUBLIC OF SEVASTOPOL to GAME): For the record, I voted for the draw. You da men!!

COLUMBUS CHILL: 1993 J, Regular Diplomacy


Winter 1919

AUSTRIA (Davis): has a BUD.

FRANCE (Zarr): rem a gas; has f BRE, a MAR, a POR, f SPA(NC), f MID.

GERMANY (Jones): bld f kie; has f KIE, f BEL, f HEL, a BUR, a GAL, a MOS,

a VIE, a BOH, a MUN, a TYO, a LON, a PIC, a UKR, f ENG, f NAO.

TURKEY (Weiss): has a BUL, f TUN, f BLA, a RUM, a VEN, a TRI, a SER, f GOL,

a SEV, f WES, f NAF, f PIE, f ADR.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Rick Davis, 2009 Bodega Avenue, Petaluma, CA 94952, (707) 773-1044

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FRANCE: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

GERMANY: Charles Jones, 1722 Quail Circle, Corona, CA 91720-4155, (909) 735-8981

RUSSIA: Eric Schlegel, 314 Fords Lane, Aberdeen, MD 21001, (410) 272-3314

TURKEY: Richard Weiss, 500 Beale St. # 104, San Francisco, CA 94105, (415) 512-7221

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GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) All draws and concessions are still rejected. With spring orders please vote on a concession to Germany, and FG, FGT, GT, and FGTA draw proposals.


(GERMANY >> > MR. LOW HOF): I guess to you the players who have moral fiber do what you tell them to, like that dork Austria, and anyone else who lowers your HOF rating doesn't?

(FRA-GER): Let's see. You're at 15, and need three more to win. I've got five supply centers, so if we plan this correctly, you can pick up three of them, win the game, and I still survive with two. Hey, sounds good to me!

(MIKE B to CHARLES J): Dave Burgess (Jim-Boob's brother) is real; I played FTF boardgames with him several times when he was at SUNY-Binghamton, and saw him for an afternoon at LabCon over July 4 weekend this summer. But if I'm not real then my word is not sufficient proof of Dave's existence. While we're at it, how do you know that YOU are real? You might just be a temporary waveform in the dream of some lifeform on a different plane of existence. Or Jim-Boob's dark side may have made you up as a release for crankiness when his bowels are backed up.

(GERMANY >> > FRANCE): As I get into position I will support your fleet in the Mid-Atlantic Ocean and Army in Marseilles. I would hate to see the Turkish player improve his HOF rating any. By the way if I was playing Austria in this game I'd either just quit sending in moves, and let the other players eliminate me, or vote against the draws just for spite. I'm glad that you are having fun now, and one way or another this game will end soon with the way we are playing.

(FRA-GM): Poor old Weiss. He is obviously a product of the limited educational system available in California. They spend so much time being politically correct, they forgot that it was useful to gain knowledge so that they could live a decent life. Still, people of limited intellect have a place in society as well. The world needs ditchdiggers, too!

(MIKE B to RICHARD W): Now for you I have not even a farfetched potential explanation. The truth seems too outlandish.

(GERMANY >> > JIM-BOB): Why would any GM start ``The Abyssinian Prince'' with any issue except number 1? If this is issue #209 why shouldn't there be 208 issues preceding it? I have now decided that I don't believe in Mike B, anyone named Stafford, and Richard Weiss.

(BOOB to GERMANY): Your loss. Actually, there are MORE than 208 issues preceding it, but that's a story too long and confused to bother to explain here. Suffice it to say that there are plenty of issues back there....

(FRA-TUR): Just think, if you had been the product of the normal upbringing of two decent parents, you might have been able to realize that walking away from this game with a three-way draw is preferable to getting nothing but an outright German win. All you would have needed to do was kill Austria. But I guess you are just too ``simple'' to figure that out.


Mike B: Can you believe how badly Richard screwed up in Columbus Chill?

Don S: No I can't! He could have won the game but was his same butt hole self and is now going to lose.

Dan S: Why hasn't he killed the Austrian player yet and picked up the one center and another extra build? Isn't that the stupidest thing you've ever seen?

Jim-Bob B: I just love to have him play in my ``The Abyssinian Prince'' he's so funny to watch, and he always justifies the low HOF rating.

Mike B: He is such a poor player we should just drop him from the rating altogether.

Don S: We will vote next meeting.

Personal Note to You:

File translated from TEX by TTH, version 1.66.