August 26, 1998 3

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287 Accessible through Internet at burgess of; FAX to (401) 277-9904

``Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness.

Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness.

Thereby, you can be the director of the opponent's fate." - Sun-Tzu

Thanks to Paul Rauterberg for that one. It fits very well the way I like to play Diplomacy when I'm really ``on''.

NEWS FLASH: Hasbro has taken over Avalon Hill, including the rights to Diplomacy, and laid off all current employees. A discussion is taking place that will address what stance we (the hobby) should take (proactive in some way for sure) toward Hasbro. If you want to be part of the discussion, send the MESSAGE:

subscribe hasbro

to majordomo of, it works just like the tap mailing list described below. Sending messages to hasbro of sends the mail to the whole list.

The game Diplomacy is a copyrighted product of Hasbro and all reproductions or other use of that material in this szine is intended to be personal use and not infringe on those rights in any way. All reproductions are done at a heavy financial loss to the editor and thus are without the remotest possibility of commercial intent, except to promote THE game, the Game of Diplomacy, which you all should purchase from Hasbro or other duly licensed distributors.

There are now three official subszines for this szine, two of which appear in this issue. Octopus's Garden has been around for awhile, of course. With this issue, we welcome Tinamou to these pages. Tinamou players are expected to sub, trade, or otherwise make a deal with me as to how they are to see this szine and the publication of Tinamou. This issue is free to all Tinamou players. The deadlines for Tinamou will be every other issue on Mondays.


This may be slightly quicker deadlines than you are used to. David Partridge and I may readjust this a bit as we go. The third subszine does NOT appear in this issue and will continue the publication of the Arsenic and Old Farts game that I am playing in. The publisher will be none other than Pete Gaughan! Pete will have a number of comments and surprises for you all. I will let him tell you about them next issue in these pages. For now, please take note of his new address listed with the Zine Register game under ``TURKEY EMERITUS'' in the Game Section below.

For those who say Postal Diplomacy is dying, I say:


I am having trouble locating the early game info on the two orphans I picked up from my not too organized files and NONE of the three end game statistics tables are in this issue either. As a result, I've stopped officially extending the deadline for the receipt of end game statements and all of the players get more issues in their life of the game sub. I will give you time to write addendums or original end game statements after I publish the statistics before I cut off the end of the game as far as life of game subs go. That should be a fair deal for everyone but me.

The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada, a bargain at twice the price.... but you can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). This price is sure to rise in the near future as I add pages and subszines and like. I am trying to decide how much to raise it. Any subs that come in before I announce the new price will be counted with these rates, of course. Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and new game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $15.00 ($10.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). Remember that music comments and reviews are scattered through the game press at times.

Check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch with all of the information you need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at:

Through Jamie McQuinn's Postal portion of the Pouch:

the szine resides in html format. Presently, issues from #190 to the current issue are there, and I will be updating the back issues gradually in the near future.

The most recent issue also can be accessed through David Wang's and Pete Sullivan's web pages. David has grabbed and reserved the HIGHLY prized name:!! His szine Metamorphosis may be found there, along with the latest issue of this szine, plus some information on John Caruso's baseball league - which yours truly plays in. I still want to review David's web site in some detail and will do so presently. His ``version'' of this szine is somewhat more html.friendly than the one I created, so please check it out. Also, look at the Caruso baseball league chat to see what some old semi-retired Dippers are up to with their spare time. My team has finally started to come back to earth so perhaps next year, when I'll be aiming for the World Championship, I may have some success.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!! The Cal Tech ftp site is being mirrored on the machine as well. Issues of The Abyssinian Prince #131 to #186 are available via anonymous FTP from in the pub/diplomacy/Zines/TAP directory in compressed postscript format. I will be putting all of these issues up in html format at the aforementioned site and more. The gracious assistance of Kevin Roust is most appreciated in keeping up these archive sites for the old issues at the Caltech site. The files begin and go sequentially from there. The Caltech site is at:


Yes, this is a ``two-fer" and these guys will be on the main list until issue 215. More on them and their publications in future issues. Go to it, guys, each one is worth $50 in cash and prizes!!

This is now going to be a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Garret Schenck or Jerry Lucas or Dan Stafford is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Bid on PDORA items, subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for. This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.


The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 3UW, UK (johnh of or JHarrington of The representives in Australia (John Cain, PO Box 4317, Melbourne University 3052, AUSTRALIA) or Belgium and some other European countries (Jef Bryant, Rue Jean Pauly, 121, B-4430 ANS, BELGIUM) also will forward your subscription on to the editor in either Australian dollars or continental European currencies respectively. Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

Andrew Schwarz (Wed, 19 Aug 1998 11:07:20 -0700)

This is from GameSpot; Eric Coffey got the link from a post on RGD. The link:

Posted 8/17/98 (GameSpot News)

Hasbro Interactive Reveals Plans

The twin acquisition announcements of Avalon Hill and MicroProse by Hasbro sent shock waves throughout the computer and board game community. Speculation ran rampant. What would happen to the companies? The fact that the entire design staff at Avalon Hill was laid off fed more fuel to the fire. GameSpot News spoke on Monday with Tom Dusenberry, CEO of Hasbro Interactive, and learned some interesting things. Hasbro's acquisition of Avalon Hill mainly involved trademarks, current and previous designs, and other tangible assets. In that sense, since Monarch Avalon (the parent company of Avalon Hill) was still responsible for the AH employees and not Hasbro, the design staff was laid off completely. While Hasbro had no immediate plans to rehire any of the AH design staff, if opportunities should arise down the road they would consider doing so. However, Dusenberry did say that Hasbro had many ``strategy-minded" designers that were apparently well acquainted with AH titles, so development would continue along those avenues. Dusenberry indicated that as Hasbro has the facilities to do so, Hasbro would continue to publish Avalon Hill games. Unfortunately Hasbro will not reprint the entire lineup of AH titles, but only the top 15 or 20. This means that Diplomacy, Advanced Squad Leader, and even Civilization among others would still survive. Dusenberry indicated that 275 titles, some still unpublished, were involved in the acquisition. During the interview, Dusenberry never really made a distinction between the more traditional strategy-oriented games like Civilization and the more adult-oriented wargames such as Advanced Squad Leader. He had a tendency to lump them all together. However Dusenberry did acknowledge the fact that Hasbro would continue to develop the wargame style of titles and that Hasbro was very much aware of ``recognizing the core audience" of Avalon Hill. In other Avalon Hill matters, he said Hasbro would be more than happy to help run the AvalonCon convention held each year to continue support of AH products. However, concerning AH's magazine publication The General, Hasbro would like to see it continue, but it is unfortunately out of the company's hands - it was not a part of the acquisition, and the future of The General lies in the hands of the Dott family, which owns 42 percent of Avalon Hill. Hasbro's main focus will be on Hasbro Interactive and publishing computer games, perhaps the most central reason behind the two acquisitions. According to Dusenberry, at the end of 1997 Hasbro saw the need to expand into the strategy and action fields. Avalon Hill and MicroProse both help satisfy that need. Hasbro Interactive fully intends on publishing everything currently in development at MicroProse and will retain MP's full research and development staff, although consolidation will occur in the marketing, management, and media departments. Hasbro Interactive also fully intends on producing computer versions of Avalon Hill board games, most notably Diplomacy. Since the acquisitions will probably not be approved until late September or October, many questions remain unanswered. Exactly what Hasbro intends to publish of Avalon Hill's backlist is still unknown, and the fate of the various third-party contracts concerning Advanced Squad Leader is up in the air as well (though Dusenberry did admit that specific questions about AH titles on the board game side of things wasn't really his area - he is the CEO of the computer products division). When more becomes available, GameSpot News will be sure to let you know. For now, Hasbro intends to take a deep breath and see just what it's acquired. According to Tom Dusenberry, at least, this is definitely not the end; it's only just the beginning.

By Alan Dunkin, GameSpot

- Eric N. Coffey, ecbean of

Andy, Andrew_Schwarz of


This section is developing a list of the great party singles of the century. You'll get a definite sense of quirky before we're done. You'll also get a sense of timelessness. I'll assume that I'll also get some comments from some of you. Then, I'm going to set a slate of 20 or so (perhaps more at the rate my thinking is going) and DEMAND votes from you out there. I may get a bit obnoxious on that score as the great freedom to work and play will generate a responsibility to offer some opinions as we near the end of the century. I intend to have a lot of fun with this, and hope all of you do too. We'll end up with a monster party tape at the end of it that I plan to segue and sequence and copy for distribution. The result will be a great New Millenium party tape. So far, we have ``I Melt With You'' by Modern English; George Gershwin's ``I got Plenty O' Nuttin' '' from Porgy and Bess in the 1957 concert recording with Ella Fitzgerald finishing off the vocals after Louis Armstrong blows and sings through the tune; Duke Ellington performing Billy Strayhorn's ``Take the A Train''; Frank Sinatra's ``New York, New York''; The (English) Beat's ``Save It for Later'' ratchets things up to the next level (wherever you put it!), Buster Poindexter's ``Hot, Hot, Hot'' keeps you there, and Koko Taylor cleans up singing Willie Dixon's ``Wang Dang Doodle''.

Many of you (including me) mentioned the Beat, who had to become the English Beat for the US since there was already a band by that name over here, in choosing ``all time album lists''. Few people remember Paul Collins and his song, ``Rock and Roll Girl'', but it actually was a great song and his band was called the Beat first. There is no question that ``Save It for Later'' is their cruncher that does what it says and the precise opposite at the same time. Dancing to it simply does not permit you to save ANYTHING for later while it demands that you save EVERYTHING for later while you bounce to this. This song was the last recording gasp for Saxa.... and the 12 inch single version of this song REALLY crunches. I have that version on a tape in my car and it almost is unplayable there because I can't stay on the road.

I've also decided that ``Hot, Hot, Hot'' by Buster Poindexter and his Banshees of Blue HAS to make the main list. David Johanson played the slinky lounge lizard and his band crunched with power, swing, and a salsa beat better than any of the current fad swing bands do. His ``first'' album as Buster Poindexter is a masterpiece of 1987... yes, he's drinking a martini on the cover! That has ``Hot, Hot, Hot'' on it along with the hilarious ``Good Morning, Judge''. 1989's Buster Goes Berserk is also well worth picking up, featuring ``All Night Party'', ``Hit the Road, Jack'', and ``Who Threw the Whiskey in the Well''

The ``bullpen'' is the list of suggestions that people make that I haven't decided whether or not to include yet. Comments on the bullpen are, of course, actively encouraged.

BULLPEN: ``Rocking the Casbah'' - The Clash; ``Dancing With Myself'' - Billy Idol's Gen X; ``Walk This Way'' - Run-DMC; ``Fire on the Mountain'' - the Grateful Dead; Devo - ``Whip It"; B Movie - ``Nowhere Girl"; B-52s - ``Give Me Back My Man" or ``Rock Lobster"; ``Roadrunner'' - Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers; Strunz and Farrah - ``Americas''.

SPECIAL GEORGE CLINTON BULLPEN: ``I Just Wanna Testify'', ``Let's Take It to the Stage'', ``The Pinocchio Theory'', ``Atomic Dog'', and ``Flash Light''.

SPECIAL ROLLING STONES BULLPEN: ``Midnight Rambler'', ``Satisfaction", ``Paint It Black", ``Jumpin' Jack Flash".

Brad Wilson (28 July 1998)

Dear Jim: A few notes and tidbits about TAP #205....

First, how about a plug for VERTIGO GAMES XII in your next issue? You have all the pertinent info in Vertigo #120. You have lots of subbers within close driving distance and maybe a plug from you is all they need to show up! We need new blood at VERTIGO GAMES, because my stabbing technique is known to all the regulars, er, we'd like to see some fresh faces. All are welcome; our group is not clannish or closed-minded. ((I know, you're gonna get me for Saturday night, going back on Sunday. We'll see if that brings anyone out! Don't tell my family as I am skipping out on the annual Labor Day thingie they do (this, of course, is impossible since my brother reads this, but don't tell them anyway....). I am really looking forward to it! I also have to deliver that late Wedding Present to Jack and Maria!! As people see this, they will have to act instantly if they are going to come.))

I'm trading with Heath Gardner. ((I think Heath is ``the real deal''. He really wants to start some games, so I hope people will sign up before he gets discouraged. Heath's address is The rest of you should send him a subscription.))

Larry Peery.... God help us. Why do most of the hobbyists I treasure burn out but Larry keeps going, year in and year out? ((You know the answer to that....really, you do. I'm not going to say it.)) The man must have inexhaustible energy. Actually the Casaroli story was interesting, buried in pages of Peeriblah. ((Absolutely, and the fact that it was interesting is why I printed it. You will recall that I used to edit the Peeriblah down, and still reserve the editor's right to do so, but in an E-Mail message, not having to type it, it only hits my pocketbook and I do want to encourage others to talk about historical stuff like that. It is one of my passions that I don't have time to write enough of myself.)) If Larry wanted to do the hobby some good he'd sign up for a game or two and send normal sized letters to several editors. ((But perhaps others will write those normal sized letters (hint, hint) with this inspiration!)) But, then, Larry and I have never been on the same page. I guess, in the end, he's harmless. ((You and I, of course, are on the same page and pretty much always have been. I really want to thank you for publishing actively again. It makes me feel less lonely.))

``Wang Dang Doodle'' belongs on any list of the kind you are making. I tip my hat to Mykey Barno for pushing it to the top of the list! ((Believe you me, I wasn't going to exclude it. I worried a bit that it might be too obscure or weird at first, but then I started to see a pattern that the REALLY good songs that belonged on this list have some certain ``weirdness'' about them that make them timeless and of wider appeal than just to the particular fans of that group or genre. I don't just want to take the top pop dance hit of each half decade or so. Everything on there so far as that in spades, with the possible exception of Frankie. I think he needs to be there, though, and if someone suggests a different song that really does that, I definitely will consider it.)) Koko has always been a favorite of mine. ``Wang Dang Doodle'' is a marvelous set-topper, with a rhythm and bounce typical of Willie Dixon at his best, and Koko's charisma sells it even more. ((When she throws her head back, you just feel like you're floating into heaven....)) She was one of the first blues artists I really got into and I have seen her perform 10-12 times, most memorably on a 1986 double bill with Lonnie Brooks at Biddy Mulligan's in Chicago. I think the best ``Wang Dang'' is on her Alligator live record. Your choice is a tauter version but lacks that live pizazz. No blues performer that I am familiar with is better in a studio than live except perhaps for John Lee Hooker. ((Yes, yes, you're absolutely right, of course. I don't have that Alligator record, but will head out and find it.))

My nominee for your list - and I will pick just one - is The Clash's ``Rocking the Casbah.'' Best video of all time, surely, and I shake my tail to it at any time. ((As a person who cut my dancing teeth on the New Wave of this period, I am having the greatest trouble deciding which songs to take from it (notice the heavy bullpen representation in that area). I KNEW that the Modern English song was the one transcendent dance cruncher I was sure to choose. Choosing the others has been really difficult to sort out. I add one more to the main list this time, and others to the bullpen, including your suggestion, which is a neck and neck contender.)) Also, there's Parliament's ``Flash Light'', Run-DMC's version of ``Walk this Way'' and George Clinton's ``Atomic Dog''. All should make your list. But it's your list, not mine. ((Yeah, I know, but I wanna have fun making it something of a group effort. I was in the process of reviewing the Clinton oeuvre (heh, heh, heh...) for last issue, when I received your letter too late for inclusion. I was thinking about the ``latest swing'' revival that he did so much better in the 70's, and all the rest. He is truly transcendent and trying to figure out how many, and which, songs to include has been one major headache. (another has been what to do about the 90's....) Your help is most appreciated. Any ideas on how to whittle the above list to two? You still think ``Flash Light'' and ``Atomic Dog'' are it??))

Eric Brosius (Wed, 12 Aug 1998 23:09:28 -0400)

Jim, I did buy Wilhelm Kempff's 1965 edition of the Beethoven piano sonatas. I went to Tower Records, as Conrad suggested, and there were a lot of different versions.

I'm pretty good at reading time signatures, so mostly I had the timing okay on the pieces I was playing, but there were a few instances where I was a little bit off (generally I'd switch eighth notes for sixteenths or vice-versa and then put in or take out rests to get the right number of bars in the measure.) The CD is useful for spotting these errors quickly, because once you make the error, you're not likely to notice it just by reading the printed music.

I also found that some pieces I thought I was playing too slowly really are as slow on the CD as they are when I play them, which is very encouraging. Of course, this is not to say Kempff is playing them at the ``correct" speed (whatever that is,) but if it's good enough for him, I'm happy.

There are other sections where I looked at the printed music and thought it was impossible, then listened to the CD and learned that, yes indeed, it really is impossible. One example of this is the beautiful second movement of Op. 10 No. 1 in C minor, which goes along at a beautiful slow singing pace until you hit a measure in the middle of the page with what looks like hundreds of notes in it. Upon hearing the recording, you learn that the secret is to just play them all in a hurry. Even so, hearing Kempff play it gives me an idea about where to start.

One thing I noticed is that the fortissimos on the CD are extremely loud. I couldn't play at that volume unless the rest of the family were out of the house. It also means I have to turn the volume down low enough that I can't hear the pianissimos unless I'm in a quiet room. I suspect this works just fine in a concert hall, but not very well in a regular house (and you can't easily listen to the music in the car because of the noise.) When you listen to the radio, the contrast doesn't seem as great; I wonder whether this is because the radio station has a way to flatten the dynamics?

Eric, 72060.1540 of

((Absolutely, very astute of you. Of course, once upon a time, when I had my active FCC license and was working at my college radio station, I could have told you the details of this in a much more technical manner. To the degree I recall it, the dynamic compression used on FM (which is different from what is used on AM since the process of making these signals is much more different than you might suspect) has changed over the years since it first went into widespread use in the late 60's/early 70's. FM used to have this distinctive ``pumping hiss'' that was most obvious in quiet pianissimo passages in classical music. This was an artifact of the dynamic signal compression technology that was used in the early days of FM. The classical stations (and I had a some time classical show on my college station, in addition to a progressive rock show and doing fill in on the jazz shows) were none too happy about this and in the mid-1970's began to implement more complex dynamic compression filters that got better and better, so you don't hear that pumping hiss any more. The need for dynamic range compression was instantly obvious to FM radio engineers for a variety of reasons - from memory these included getting better pure signal strength for greater range as well as the practical problems involved in not blowing out people's car radios. It's also why, though, that taping off the radio doesn't give you very good quality recordings. Anyone whose knowledge is fresher or more detailed is welcome to augment or correct this discussion.))

Rick Desper (Fri, 21 Aug 1998 04:57:57 -0400 (EDT))

I have a question: who is Jonathan Richman? Why is he supposed to be VERY familiar to TAP readers? (I show my newbie colors here?)

((Wow, you sure do! Jonathan has been making brilliant small albums for the last fifteen years or so, many or most of which have made my end of the year's best lists. But before that, ``Roadrunner'' was part of his Modern Lovers output, his band from the early '70's featuring Jerry Harrison (later keyboardist for the Talking Heads) and David Robinson (later drummer for the Cars) that was possibly the greatest garage rock band of the 1970's. ``Roadrunner'' is the quintessential ``cruising'' song. ``Girlfren'' is the best high school girlfriend song I've ever heard. ``Astral Plane'' is truly transcendent, and ``Pablo Picasso'' is, well, ``Pablo Picasso''. And then, and then, ``Don't Let Our Youth Go To Waste'' is the great personal anti-war confessional of that era (Jonathan Richman and Michael Perlitch [the latter unfortunately is NOT still recording] made the great anti-war music of the 1970's that got a bit lost as the war ended).))

((Anyway, we have INCESSANTLY discussed Jonathan for years. He really does tour exactly as you see him in the movie, with that dorky looking percussionist and VERY little amplification. He came through Providence recently and I went to see him as usual, and unfortunately too much of the crowd were ``Jonathan rookies'' brought in by the movie. Some people in the back kept complaining that they couldn't hear him and Jonathan reminded everyone that this is how loud he plays, and that's it. I took Charlotte and she gave him a positive comparison to Phil Ochs (which I took as positively ecstatic praise, since she doesn't like anyone....). Phil Ochs, of course, made THE great anti-war music of the 1960's, so the comparison made sense to me in ways that Charlotte didn't immediately see, since there isn't much point in singing those kinds of anti-war songs today. Then again....))

Anyway, based on his appearance in There's Something About Mary, Jonathan Richman got an appearance on the Late Night with Conan O'Brien. American artists may think Conan is not in a great time slot. However, Conan has an advantage perhaps many Americans are not aware of. NBC has a cable network in Europe which broadcasts Leno and Conan every day at 10 p.m. and 10:45 p.m. respectively (I'm sorry, 22:00 and 22:45).

So, Conan has a much better time slot here.

Anyway, if you want to read about Jonathan Richman on the Conan O'Brien Show, look at click on ``Show Info" and then ``Musical Guests".

The Spice Girls were on Leno last night. Ugh!

I'm back in the US for a week, during which I hope to see There's Something About Mary as well as Saving Private Ryan.

Just yesterday I was reading a review of a new Tom Clancy book, and I thought to myself ``Clancy is outdated". After yesterday's cruise missile strike on terrorist camps, I'm not so sure. This is exactly the kind of attack Clancy has recommended many times, from Patriot Games to Executive Orders (except that, in Executive Orders, Clancy endorses the assassination of a foreign leader, and I don't think we'll see that done [at least publicly] any time soon.)

So, here I am in Germany, and the US has launched an attack on terrorists. Sounds familiar to me. In 1986, when Reagan launched the attack on Libya, I was with my high school jazz band in Italy. There was a big fuss about whether this would instigate reprisals, and based upon parental pressure, we cancelled the leg of the trip through France, instead spending a week hiding in the Swiss Alps.

And of course, this leads to worries about my flight to Newark on Saturday. But I doubt that terrorists would strike in Frankfurt, the biggest airport in Europe, which presumably has decent security. It is much easier to take potshots in countries like Kenya and Tanzania.

Should the unthinkable happen, should Continental Flight 51 from Frankfurt to Newark come to a bad end, let me just say now it's been fun, and and I support the President.

Oh, and one more thing. As Conan and Andy are fond of saying:

``I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky."

Well, I didn't! Rick, desper of

Rick Desper (Fri, 21 Aug 1998 10:35:28 -0400 (EDT))

Well, I've heard of the Talking Heads, but mostly I focused on David Byrne. I saw a couple of their movies (True Stories and Stop Making Sense). ((Please don't tell me you were too young to go to the concerts.....)) I have also heard of the Cars, but I've never been a big enough music fan to pick out individual instrumentalists.

The website bio said Jonathan Richman was a big punk rocker in Boston in the early 70s. While I was in Boston in the early 70s, I was quite young. I have dim memories of Watergate and cannot recall any moon landings (a sad fact as I've passed my 30th birthday and we have not gone back.) Perhaps we could justify a moon landing by using the moon as advertising - think of the McMoon! Or Nike could put a swoosh up there. (An idea inspired by The Tick cartoon, where ``Chairface Chippendale" wanted to humiliate the world by writing his name on the moon. He only got as far as ``Cha", I believe.)

Well, that was certainly a tangent! Rick, desper of

((And now you're starting to see why ***I*** think postal Diplomacy and postal szines still have a future. You get tangents and serendipity! I couldn't live without it, it's part of the essential spirituality of humanity.))

Mark Luedi (Fri, 14 Aug 1998 21:02:45 -0400)

Somewhere in Michigan, sometime in August - Hey Jim: I wrote. Netscape crashed (not an uncommon occurrence). I rewrite much later in another program - I lost a couple lengthy e-mail efforts a few days ago when my modem caused. I'll learn yet. I have probably come up with 20 albums worth mentioning since I sent you that last e-mail. Can I recall any of them now? No, of course not. I have, however, been listening to OK Computer. A lot. And then some. Very good album. Great album? Not quite. ((Exactly what I concluded....)) The other current listening project has been Mermaid Avenue by Billy Bragg and Wilco. Takes some getting used to. ((That's what I figured from what I've heard, don't have it yet.))

So, you're collecting songs for a millenial songfest? Probably most of what I'd come up with would fall on the wrong side of the line for your criteria and the first is so cliche-laden it's probably falling off the map: Prince's ``1999". Another prime choice that falls too heavily into the theme/cliche realm (with the added bonus that you can't dance to it - not within the conventional norms): King Crimson's ``21st Century Schizoid Man". Here's a good handful of artists that should offer a bounty of possibilities: Police, Clash, Bowie, Talking Heads, P. Furs (though I no longer own any to peruse), Pretenders, Eurhythmics, Elvis Costello, Blondie, XTC, etc. And that's a relatively thin slice in the time-style continuum. I would hope, if only for the sake of balance, some reggae or ska makes it in. Marley, or UB40, or Jimmy Cliff, perhaps? Burning Spear would be tres cool, but probably too obscure. I second the B-52s. I caught ``Planet Claire'' on the radio last night, probably the first time in ten years I've heard it. Awesome. ((Yeah, it really is better than ``Rock Lobster'' which is pure novelty song.))

Anyhow, I would like to offer up the following (thoroughly superficial, definitely rock and roll oriented ) candidates: David Bowie's ``Panic in Detroit", ``Gloria" (by Van, Them, or anyone, the more raucous the better), ((Yeah, I wanted to include this one with the right recording and I've been searching for it.)) Talking Heads' ``The Great Curve" (I know this is one of your faves), ((You know right....)) Concrete Blonde's ``Still in Hollywood", Beatles' ``Helter Skelter", ``Hey Hey My My (Into the Black)" by Neil Young, Dire Straits' ``Industrial Disease", Pink Floyd's ``Interstellar Overdrive" (these last three are pretty weak in the dance department, but they're all strong candidates for my own end of the century tape - not exactly danceable, more of a frolic in existentialism). If you're feeling really adventuresome (manic cruelty), I'll toss in this notion: Clarence ``Gatemouth'' Brown's ``Up Jumped the Devil''. One of my own criteria for truly great songs is that it can sound as good or better distorted as not, whether on account of poor signal, bad speakers, tape deterioration, car noise. Bowie's ``Fame'' is one such example. A lot of Neil Young, U2, King Crimson also fits the bill nicely. A digression on Concrete Blonde ... My introduction to the band came via a two-part MTV special one Christmas/New Years holiday season. Does anyone recall this? If so, who was the Memphis singer/songwriter/musician wearing John Lennon glasses featured on the other half of that? Also, did I see an allusion to something about a Rolling Stones song of the century? ``Satisfaction" is so quintessentially Stones, but it's never been among my own favorite Stones songs (maybe I'm too young); probably ``Paint It Black", but I would definitely also choose ``Jumpin' Jack Flash" in an instant. A question about the Breaking Away game: are the identities and grades of the riders confidential or is everything public knowledge (i.e. ``Joe" is a ``C" rider on the ``gutless" team)? Sounds like fun, sign me up, and trust that I open my mail in a timely fashion. ((Yes, the card holdings are public.))

Best, Mark, mal of

Also, I'm probably giving up the P.O. Box in T.C., so please switch my address over to 7478 Way Road, Honor, MI 49640. Thanks!

Richard Weiss (Sun, 9 Aug 1998 19:52:33 -0700)

Jim: I appreciate the interesting twist your music column has taken with the request to help compile a list of dance tunes. How about another ``bullpen" of special party dance tunes that celebrate one of the quintessential features of human ritual (joining a group and music) - drugs! ((As must be pretty obvious to everyone by now, this isn't really my thing. Feel free to start the bullpen on it though, it will be fun.))

My recommendations for inclusions in this category included:

Cocaine - probably Eric Clapton's version Casey Jones by the Grateful Dead would be a close second for this drug. Red, Red Wine (I think it's U2)

Smoke Two Joints (a local station still plays this at 5:05 PM each and every Friday as part of the ``Attitude Adjustment Hour." I will have to listen again or have my brain come back from the Ozone to remember the Group's name.

Smoke, Smoke, Smoke (That Cigarette) by Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen.

I never danced to a caffeine record. A couple of the Rolling Stones songs might fit into a ``heroin" sub-category but I never danced at a party in which the entire group was shouting ``Horse," as the drug, out in rhythmic celebration ala ``Cocaine." ((I think it has more than a little bit to do with the nature of the drug....)) I've had fun thinking about this anyway.

S'later, Richard, rcw of

Alex Richardson (???)

Dear Jim, Thanks both for TAP 204 and for letting us know about The Bones of All Men. I've become very lazy about checking on new releases - even Ghod related ones, I regret to say - and I might have missed this one if you had not mentioned it. I'll certainly make an effort to get hold of it though, as, quite apart from its Fairport Mafia connections, I have fond memories of a Phil Pickett album called The Alchemist and also quite like virginal/spinet music (in small doses). Does this album include a tune by John Bull called The King's Hunt, by any chance? I always enjoyed that one.... ((Nope, none of the songs was composed after 1600 and I think all are anonymously penned....))

Now that you've passed the 200 issue milestone, what other target is there left for you to fix upon? Is it your ambition to reach 300 issues, perhaps, or are you hoping instead to be the last US Dip zine printed and distributed the old-fashioned way?

Best wishes, Alex, 30a Queen Street, Hitchin, Herts., UK SG4 9TP

((Naw, I wanna catch Conrad von Metzke in numbers of issues before he calls it quits... I'll never catch John Boardman.... seriously, though, it would take me another five or six years to hit 300. I don't know if I'll make it that far or not. I'm just enjoying what I'm doing right now a whole lot, so I'll go on. I take it one step at a time.))


``I have never learned ... to play the lyre, but I know how to make a small and obscure city rich and great." (Themistocles, in Plutarch's Lives.)

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904.

Standby lists: Mike Barno, John Breakwell, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Doug Kent, Paul Rauterberg, Doug Essinger-Hileman, Stan Johnson, Harry Andruschak, Heath Gardner, Dave Partridge, Andy York, Michael Pustilnik, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy. Sean O'Donnell, Mike Barno and Andy York stand by for the Colonial Diplomacy game. Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Paul Kenny, and John Schultz standby for the Modern Diplomacy game. Let me know if you want on or off these lists. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks. I'd really appreciate it if anyone wanted to be added to the lists.


The regular Diplomacy opening is very nearly filled (and it might even be filled). Take that!!.... those of you who claim Postal Diplomacy is dead. I still think I might actually end up starting a second regular Diplomacy game. Anyone interested needs to get their money in now and we'll see where things shake out for next time. I am worried that I missed someone who wanted into this first game. If I have, please alert me to my error, otherwise, the first respondent gets the last position. So far, we have Warren Goesle ($15), Drew James ($15), Luke Dwyer ($15 - P), Paul Rauterberg ($5), Russ Rusnak, and Steve Emmert ($15 - P).Russ should send me the $15 game fee, Paul already has sufficient NMR insurance on file that I am reallocating and he does not need to send me any more money. I have money from the rest of you. Some of you have submitted preference lists (indicated by - P above). Remember that according to my house rules I need preference lists from EVERYONE, or I don't use them and revert to Random Draw. Since I have some lists, I'd really like to have lists from each of you. In fact, again, I think it is possible that I might have misplaced a list or two from the others, so please bring me up to date on that as well. Ideally, I'd like to start this game next time.

Harry Andruschak would like me to run another variant, like ``1499, Stonehenge, and maybe you could talk to Brad Wilson about him letting you run a game of Philadelphia Dip.'' The other idea I got this time, which intrigues me much more is to run Colonia. I will probably go with Colonia VIIb (I believe that is the most up to date version) after one more issue to garner ideas. Could Doug Kent or someone else playing in his Colonia game contact me with other ideas on what I will need to know to run Colonia?

On another front, I'd really like this Black Hole game to start too! Conrad von Metzke recently finished GMing a black hole game where you can freely jump over black holes instead of having them render spaces impassible. I played in this game and like the tactics of jumping over the black holes a great deal. Now there the black holes were random, but what would happen if you could plan them? The next NYEED game will feature this rule change and will be a 7x7 tourney format unless I am convinced otherwise. I am itching to get this game started, so it will start as soon as it is filled! You get a life of game sub, and the game itself is FREE!! Sandy Kenny, Mike Barno, and John Schultz are signed up. Off an offhanded suggestion in the NYEED press, we'll call it Nelson Mandela. Just four more and we'll get started! Come on, this one will be REALLY exciting!!

We also have the Breaking Away game filled and ready to start. See below.

Otherwise Conrad von Metzke is the editor and publisher of Pontevedria, the game openings listing, if you're interested in other game openings. Send Conrad a SASE for the latest issue to: Conrad von Metzke, 4374 Donald Avenue, San Diego, CA 92117.



Addresses of the Participants

TEAM 1: Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02192

72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

TEAM 2: Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY

desper of

TEAM 3: Warren Goesle,

gozcorp of

TEAM 4: John Harrington, 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex, EN1 3UW UK

johnh of

TEAM 5: Mark Luedi, 7478 Way Road, Honor, MI 49640

TEAM 6: David Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722

rebhuhn of

TEAM 7: John Schultz, #19390, Marion County Jail II, 730 East Washington Street, Indianapolis, IN 46202

Game Notes:

1) I'm not starting this game until you guys give me team names AND rider names. Remember, this will also be a ``press'' game, so you need to be able to name things - everything is a press game around these here parts. Does everyone understand how to give cards to their four racers too? Ask questions now! If I get team names, rider names, and cards from everyone by next issue, we will start then. I have card choices only from Eric Brosius.

FEAR AND WHISKEY: 1998Ers31, Modern Diplomacy


Autumn and Winter 1995

BRITAIN (Johnson): bld f edi, a lon; has f EDI, a LON, f NOR, f SAO, f IRE, f BEL.

EGYPT (J. O'Donnell): bld a asw, a ale; has a ASW, ALE, f ESA, a ISR, f SAU.

FRANCE (Andruschak): bld f mar, a bor, a lyo, f bre (imp), PLAYS ONE SHORT;

has f MAR, a BOR, a LYO, f POR, a SWI, a MON, a BAR.

GERMANY (Rauterberg): bld a ham, a fra, a mun; has a HAM, a FRA, a MUN, f BHM,

a HOL, f DEN, a AUS.

ITALY (Ozog): bld f nap; has f NAP, a MIL, f MAL, a CRO, f ADR.

POLAND (Sasseville): bld a war, f gda; has a WAR, f GDA, f LIT, a CZE, a LAT.

RUSSIA (Goranson): R a lat-STP, f ros otb; bld a mos; has a MOS, a BIE,

a STP, a FIN, f GOB.

SPAIN (S. O'Donnell): bld a mad; has a MAD, f TUN, a GIB, a SVE. TURKEY (Pollard): bld a ada, a izm, a ist; has a ADA, a IZM, a IST, a GEO,

f ANK, f GRE, a BUL.

UKRAINE (Partridge): bld a kha, a kie, f sev; has a KHA, f SEV, a ODE, a DON,

a HUN, a RUM, f ROS.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Jonas Johnson, 3649 SE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97202, (503) 238-4430 ($5)

EcidLor of

EGYPT: Jeff O'Donnell, 402 Middle Ave., Elyria, OH 44035-5728, (440) 322-2920 ($5)

FRANCE: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202 ($5)

GERMANY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of

ITALY: Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138, (360) 691-4264 ($5)

ElfEric of

POLAND: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

roland6 of

RUSSIA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532, (716) 876-9374 ($5)

ForlornH of

SPAIN: Sean O'Donnell, 126 S. Park, Oberlin, OH 44074, (440) 774-2928 ($5)

sean_o_donnell of

TURKEY: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190, ($5)

UKRAINE: Dave Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722, (603) 882-3523 ($9)

rebhuhn of

Game Notes:

1) Check out the Modern Dip web page at: Cyberia/modern.htm

2) Look, guys, how much easier can I make it for you, your home centers where you can build are in all caps! And Harry actually helped me build the SC Chart with his efforts. But he will play one short....


(THE MEKONS QUOTE OF THE MONTH): ``He's a little boy so lovely to watch and he's got great respect; You boys don't know what pain is, just flip flop mate.'' From ``Flip Flop'' off the latest Me. What, oh what, could I be talking about? Who flip flops around here??

(SPAIN to BRITAIN AND FRANCE): Don't delay, let's just get this over with.

(BOOB to SPAIN): Are you sure that's really what you want? All this press looks like stalling to me.....

(ANDRUSCHAK-GM): TAP #205 of 4 July arrived 20 July. TAP #206 of 25 July arrived 12 August. I am trying to help out your scanner by printing on one side of the paper only and mailing the sheets in a 9x12 envelope to keep them flat. ((Thanks, but it's no use, using the scanner simply isn't worth it for a variety of reasons (including its extreme age and crankiness) so I'm typing all your press. I hope you get E-Mail real soon.... you new free E-Mail with hotmail or similar products like Sean uses doesn't require much technology at all.... and it often is available free in libraries as Sean uses it. You don't even have to list it as an E-Mail address, you could just use it to send me press. I suppose this attitude, in the long run, puts you out of business....))

(HARRY ANDRUSCHAK-WORLD): I now have an AA committment Thursdays, 4-7 PM, so your best chance to actually reach me live on the telephone would be Tuesdays, 7-9 PM, Pacific Daylight Savings Time. Save your money and write L*E*T*T*E*R*S. Every stamp you buy helps pay my salary.

(BOOB to HARRY): Ah, that's why you write so much press! Singlehandedly you are looking to add an ounce to the szine!!

(FRANCE-WORLD): ``Nothing echoes more than an empty mailbox.''

(EGYPT-SPAIN): I have to confess that I don't really know what viagra is, however I do know that it is used to help do what France and Britain are doing to you!

(PAT ROBERTSON to WORLD): See! I told you so! I warned you that if Disney World was allowed to hold a Gay Day, then asteroids and hurricanes would hit Florida. And they did. Well, true, it was those fires, but when I said ``asteroids and hurricanes'' I really meant fires. Honest. I am a Diplomat from God. You can trust me. Really. ((Is this what is meant by ``fire and brimstone''???))

(BOOB to BRITAIN): You seem to be having that kind of problem with a lot of people. So, who needs a therapist??

(SPAIN to SELF): We're all going to die help!!(Smack!) Thanks Jonas I needed that no what Help! ((Now how would you correct that grammatically? I'm not even going to try....))

(DESPER BUTTS IN): Nice slam of Spain!

(BRITAIN-SPAIN): The Trailblazers should not be so bad this year. With the addition of Stoudamire, former UofA point guard, they may actually be able to generate some offense this year. They have been the league's leading rebounding team for two or three years now, and with that combination and some luck, they may actually make it to the second round of the playoffs this year. That alone would be a big improvement over recent years.

(BOOB to BRITAIN): Ah, now you have your head screwed on straight! Except for the fact that this szine's editor is a Rick Pitino fan and a Boston Celtic fan which makes him more than a mite dangerous at the moment when you talk about the NBA. We share some of these fannish inclinations with the ``German'' intruder, formerly known as Desper. Of course, with this lockout, I am trying very hard not to pay any attention at all and wait patiently.

(SPAIN to PALACE OF VERSAILLES): (Keep in mind I'm not with my szine at a public library please.) I didn't mean to test it on you mister Prime Minister of France I meant to try it on the Czar! No! mena a girl yah! a g*i*r*l! say slow..

(SUN-TZU (VIA THE GERMAN EMBASSY TO ANCIENT CHINA) TO SPAIN): ``In difficult ground, press on; in encircled ground, devise strategems; in death ground, fight."

(SPAIN to U/E/T): You think you can add a few more countries into that alliance, namely me and Italy? Or just me yuh yuh! Can I can I oh please pretty please eddy pretty please eddy! Yah! Oh! I'm the only one! (Tiger from Winnie the Pooh.)

(MOVIE CRITIC-SUMMER OF 1998 AUDIENCE): ``Welcome to films of remorseless, carnal, rapaciousness entwined mindlessly in stomach-turning spectacles of violence and wholesale cruelty.''

(RUSSIA to BRITAIN): May you please support my Fleet to Sweden in the spring?

(FRANCE-BRITAIN): Thank you for your letter of 27 July, which was quite delayed by those Postal people. No, I am not sure just where the stalemate lines are, if they exist. I really need to spend some time in a deep study of the map.

(A TURKISH ZEALOT to THE NATION OF SPAIN): Oh sons of many flea bite - camels! How dare you mock the Great Jim-Bob Burgess. ((The house rule is about ABUSING the GM, not sucking up to him.... somehow in this game I think I'm going to need LOTS of abuse!)) He is a will of Allah! Infidels! You tread on dangerous ground.....

(SPAIN to BOARD): Please! Please! Please don't think I'm weird! I just want to be a girl.

(SPAIN to GM): How's the wife? She sounded pretty nice. If you have kids I'm willing to bet she'll make a good Mom. ((Well, we don't have kids, but she does.... and she does.... are you sure you still want to be a girl?)) (SPAIN to BOARD): Just kidding.

(FRANCE-SPAIN): Hello, my name is ``No! No! Bad Dog!'' What's yours?

(ANDRUSCHAK-POLLARD): Thank you for your follow-up letters of 1 and 15 july. Given the sad state of education in the USA nowadays, I wonder how many TAP readers are aware of the fact that ``Ataturk'', meaning ``Father Turk'', was the very real last name of the very real Kemal Ataturk, founder of modern Turkey?

(BOOB to HARRY): I venture to say many or most of MY readers. But they are a selected sample.

(AMBASSADOR ATATURK PÖ-LLARD to THE WESTERN POWERS): It would seem that the rumors are true. The rise and rebirth of the Ottoman Empire has begun! Certain aspects of my government will remain Democratic, but the military establishment has won over many of my people. Now the winds of Destiny begin to blow. I wish you all good fortune and may Allah be praised....

(ANDRUSCHAK-POLLARD): Nothing to do with this game, but I wanted to say ``congratulations'' for your fine effort as a one SC England in ``The Hermit''. An inspiring example for all good players of Diplomacy.

(SEAN to BOARD): Spain has just ran away to who knows where crying. YOU BIG BABY!

(EGYPT-BRITAIN): That's Uncle Jeffey Pooh Sir!

(SPAIN to FRANCE): How about you be senior?????

(CNN NEWSFLASH!): Scientists are still puzzling over the strange behavior of the pigeons in Rome. After gathering in great numbers around every pizza shop, they suddenly took off for other areas without leaving any ``traces'' behind. No reasonable explanation has been offered for this unusual event.

(SPAIN to FRANCE 2): Oh my god you killed Kenny!

(SEAN to FRANCE): You Bastards! (See South Park on comedy central at 11:00 p.m or 1:00 am cable.

(BOOB to WORLD): What's cable?? Does it have something to do with television?? No wonder I don't understand what is going on here.....

(ANDRUSCHAK-RAUTERBERG): Nothing to do with this game, but I wanted to say ``congratulations'' for your win as France in ``Covington Cross'' and will be looking forward to your endgame statement.

(SPAIN to BOOB): Who are you? Are you one of those aliens when you smoke acid? If so, they're coming to take away uh-uh to the funny farm where life is joy and candy sticks.

(BOOB to SPAIN): Is this what happens to you when you get cable??


(EGYPT-FRANCE): Yes! It was my press, knock yourself out.

(SPAIN to JEFF): Way to go Stoush.

(GENERAL GEMAL GÜRSEL to FRANCE): Only infidels shall be castrated! Also, we will not tolerate American tobacco companies infiltrating our commerce! Any attempt at such action will result in dire consequences....

(SPAIN to THE CRIMINALS): Dang! Man put that thing away.

(SPAIN to FRANCE AND BRITAIN): First, Britain, you've made your point. Let me have Mor and I'll give you Gib. Then I'll back you up North and leave your one fleet here, that way you may protect it in Sao. That way we can stay out of a major war in which you alone should take me. France, you're now 100% bigger than I was at the beginning and now you're bigger you can be the senior officer of the alliance if it's still intact.

(THOMAS THORTON ``1807''): ``The national character of the Turks is a composition of contradictory qualities. We find them brave and pusilanimous; gentle and ferocious; resolute and inconstant; active and indolent; passing from devotion to obscenity; from the rigor of morality to the grossness of sense; at once delicate and coarse; fastidiously abstemious and indiscriminately indulgent.''

(HARRY ANDRUSCHAK-SEAN O'DONNELL): I am not quite sure how to make this sound as friendly as I want it to be, but I AM trying to be friendly, and helpful. It's all about your postcard that I received on 22 July. For starters, I dislike the telephone and I hate wasting money calling long distance just to try and calm your nerves. I am required by my job to have a telephone at home in case an emergency arises at the Post Office. I am not required to use it or answer it.

However, I did use it one day before the deadline to call the GM and change my orders because I disliked being badgered. Indeed, I would hazard a guess that the vast majority of Play-By-Mail Diplomacy players dislike being badgered. You have been badgering me since the very start of this game and I am wearied. That is why I changed my orders from ``Neutral'' to ``stab Spain''.

(I am reconsidering if I really want e-mail if the only result is to give people a new medium for badgering me. ((See my note elsewhere. You always can control [to some degree] your use of the E-Mail address. I keep E-Mail addresses confidential for some people now, and certainly would be willing to do so for you, in fact ESPECIALLY for you! I get a lot of ``junk'' E-Mail liberal use of the delete key without reading things does wonders. Supposedly, ``jokes'' and ``chain letters'' are popular to read on the Internet. I invariably delete them without reading them [even if I might be interested in the subject or if close friends or relatives send them to me] on general principle. I know this has had me missing what on the surface appear to be chain letters from good causes and jokes that might actually be funny. I still find this really liberating, so I do it anyway. I do about the same thing to junk postal mail, except admittedly the physical act of ripping it up brings more pure joy than the delete key does.)) And as far as badgering goes, I also received postcards from you on 31 July [which I answered] and 4 and 15 August [which I didn't].)

And now some kind words of advice. Have you ever considered playing gunboat? Some of the other zines out there still offer gunboat, and perhaps that is more suitable for you to play. ((While I agree, I philosophically have problems with postal gunboat. The Judges are so much more flexible with the approach to gunboat, perhaps Sean should try that. I'll never run another gunboat game.)) Hint: always put Turkey at the top of your no-press gunboat preference lists, and France at the top of your gunboat-with-press preference lists.

More friendly advice: Please consider buying a typewriter. Or, if you have a computer, buy some simple word processing software and a simple printer. It may be that the other players just cannot be bothered to devote the time and effort required to decipher your grotty handwriting.

(SPAIN to FRANCE): I get Long distance phone cards prepaid. That's all.

(ANDRUSCHAK-TURKISH SCIENCE FICTION CLUB): We have indeed read your book ``A Turk Goes To Mars''. This was not a book to be lightly tossed aside. it was thrown against the wall with great force. now send us something worth reading, like ``Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying''.

(SPAIN to ITALY): I take that as we are agreed.

(EGYPT to ITALY): I do whatever the voices in my head tell me to do....

(SPAIN to FRANCE): ``Attractis pedibus patente porta percurrent raphanique mugilesque!'' Translation: With ankles strapped and the rear entry opened, you'll be torpedoed by a fast-acting suppository of mullet and radish!

(SPAIN to GERMANY): Wo ist Munchen gehen.

(FRANCE-UKRAINE): Thank you for your letter postmarked 7 July. No, I have not had any letters form Poland or Russia. Of course, it may well be that they figure I am too far away to have an effect on them, one way or the other. However, if they are not writing you.... well... ``Don't worry, be happy.''

(SPAIN to FRANCE): Freunda du nicht. Bitte gehe nicht.

(SPAIN to BOARD): Without my book so some of the spelling is wrong and the sentence structure is probably wrong as well.

(TO ALL TOADIES...): ``there is nothing so weak and unstable as a reputation for power which is not based on one's own strength." Tacitus, Annals 13,19.

(SEAN to SPAIN): Now tell me how it feels to be the first country being faced with elimination?

(POLAND to RUSSIA): This land is my land this land ain't your land from the city of Warsaw to frontier of Russia.

(FRANCE-POLAND AND RUSSIA): No letters from you since the Spring 1995 adjudication? O well, I can always fill space with another pun.... What did the piano teacher take to the supermarket? A Chopin Liszt! And of course his children like to play Haydn seek.

(GERMANY to ITALY): I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.

(NEWSFLASH!): This just in.... in a sensational break in the Whitewater Savings and Loan ((What? What Savings and Loan?? Is that what this investigation is about???)) investigation, Special Prosecutor Kenneth Starr has announced that, in the wake of the opening of the 10,000th Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise in China, he will investigate claims that Clinton sold China the Colonel's Secret Recipe.... film at 11. ((Since when did anyone have to sell a recipe to the Chinese before the Chinese copied it on their own????))

(SPAIN to SEAN): It feels e-merciful I don't know how I can stand it.

(DON WILLIAMS to GM): What do you get when you cross an avocado, a duck, and a food processor? Quackamole.

(BARNEY-TELETUBBIES): OK, kids, today we're going to learn the word ``carnivore''.

(THE STINGAL EMPIRE): There, Jonas, Harry, Sean, Jeff, Roland, Rich, Kent, Paul, Eric, and Dave stood looking up at Jim up on a balcony of a prison. They had just passed through several check points taking away all of their guns.

``You all have been chosen by the sinitkint to come here to see which one of us is the top dog. It isn't time to talk, it's time to show, so all you fly brothers come out here to see what we're made of. Ok, first this prison opens in three years. I was able to talk to the Warden so we own the place till it opens, within that time we'll see who is the top dog. Now remember kill till there is only one left and I'll see it through in the security system from Camras. Now let's get this party started." Said Jim as he went into a room he snapped his fingers and out popped 10 guns, all hand guns, 9mm.

Everyone grabbed one as fast as they could. Jonas grabbed one and he pointed it at Sean, Sean at Eric, Eric at Jeff, Jeff, at Eric while the rest pulled the trigger. Then after a period of everyone pulling the trigger they found it not to be loaded. Then Clips was poured out. Everyone grabbed a handful and some took off, some went for air docks, and six remained. Harry and Jonas pulled the trigger hitting Sean in the exact same place of Sean's arm. He ran, dove down a hamper shoot, and was out of sight. Jonas and Harry followed not aware that Dave, Rich, and Kent were behind them. Kent ran down the hall where Eric ran earlier. Dave pulled the trigger, shooting Rich in his leg, but Rich is a tough man and he ran all the same, shooting back bullets, keeping Dave's head down. But the battle is far from over.

(BOOB to THE WORLD): And that's about where I came in.....

(DIPLOMACY PLAYERS' PRAYER FOR CHRISTMAS OF 1995): O Lord, let my words be sweet and tender, for next year I may have to eat them.

SHOW ME THE MONEY: 1997Mea04, Colonial Diplomacy



Fall 1903

BRITAIN (Johnson): f ADEN S f goa-rs, a PUN-kar, a BOM h, f goa-RS,

f HK S FRENCH a can, f SIN S f mal-js, a TIB-ass, f SHI S RUSSIAN a tab-bag,

f EIO-sio, a hyd-BEN, f SCS S FRENCH f gos-sun.s, f MAL-js. CHINA (Goranson): a nan-SHA, a mon S a mac (d r:irk,lan,otb),

a ben S a ass (d r:nep,luc,otb), a ASS S a ben, a CHU-yun,

a mac S JAPANESE a (d r:vla,irk,otb).

FRANCE (Sasseville): f GOS-sun.s, f ANN-gos, a CAN S a yun,

a MAY S a u.bur, a YUN S BRITISH a tib-ass, a U.BUR S BRITISH a hyd-ben, f FOR h.

HOLLAND (Desper): f BOR S f sio-js, f SIO-js, f SUL.S S FRENCH f js-sun.s,

a SUM-cey (imp), f JS-sun.s, f cebu-MNA.

JAPAN (Dwyer): f up-ECS, a seo-P.ART, f os-SAK, f YS S a,

f SOJ S a vla-seo, a vla-SEO.

RUSSIA (Williams): f BLA C a ode-con, a ode-CON, a KRA S a sik-mon,

f, a tab-BAG, a sem-URU, a PEK S f, a kag-SIK,

a sik-MON, f ANG S a ode-con.

TURKEY (Tallman): f ara.s-GOA, f MED C a egy-con, a EGY-con, f rs-aden

(d r:eri,sud,mec,otb), f KAR-shi (imp).

Supply Center Chart

BRITAIN (Johnson): DEL,BOM,ADEN,MAD,HK,SIN, (has 11, bld 1)
CHINA (Goranson): SHA,CHU,ass,vla? (has 3 or 4 or 5 or 6, rem or r:otb 2(r:vla) or 3)
FRANCE (Sasseville): TON,COC,ANN,ban,can,may,ran, (has 7, bld 2)
HOLLAND (Desper): BOR,SUM,JAVA,SAR,new,dav,mna (has 6, bld 1)
JAPAN (Dwyer): TOK,KYU,OTA,KYO,vla?,fus,sak, (has 6, bld 2(C r:vla) or 3),seo
RUSSIA (Williams): MOS,OMSK,ODE,tas,rum,sik, (has 10, bld 3(PLAYS ONE SHORT))
TURKEY (Tallman): EGY,sud,kar (has 4 or 5, rem 1(r:otb) or 2)
Neutral: cebu (Total=58)

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Jonas Johnson, 3649 SE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97202, (503) 238-4430 ($8)

EcidLor of

CHINA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532, (716) 876-9374 ($5)

ForlornH of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

Djrolandb of

HOLLAND: Rick Desper, Bergheimer Strasse 114, 69115 Heidelberg, GERMANY (E-Mail)

desper of

JAPAN: Luke Dwyer, Colgate University, Box J 1262, 13 Oak Hill Drive, Hamilton, NY 13346, (315) 228-4625

School Breaks: 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($4)

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947 ($7)

wllmsfmly of

TURKEY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($0)

ttallman of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Note that Rick Desper has changed his address again. Also note that Luke has a school address. This is his primary address now. I will continue to list his home address as well for school breaks though.

2) A bit of a messy SC Chart this time. Please check it over carefully for mistakes. The trickiest part is what happens if China decides to retreat to Vlad. Recall that Autumn retreats and Winter builds are combined and the complication is likely to lead to desires for conditional builds. You can make your builds conditional on ANY retreat action, but NOT on any builds by other players. If you have any doubts or questions, please do not hesitate to ask. Could two powers be gone by the end of the fourth year??


(HOLLAND): In good news, today Kenny made a brief reappearance on a beach in Sumatra. A transcript of the events ensuing may be forthcoming. In bad news, Kenny died.

(TIM RICE QUOTE OF THE MONTH): ``Who's deprived and depraved? Who is gonna get made? Who's been pricked till his fingers bleed? Screwed, hammered, laid? Us baby...the Proletariat." - ``Prole's Song'' from 1984.

(BRITAIN-BOARD): My therapist has striclty forbidden any press writing at this time. I will return to the press writing once the drugs have had time to take their effect. Just another week or three. (TO ALL TOADIES): See Fear and Whiskey to translate ``Quod nihil sit tam infirmum aut instabile quam fama potetiae non sua vi nixae" Tacitus

(THE BARBARIAN PALACE): (Looking over the latest Boob Thing and ``Show Me The Money." ``Oh, shit!"

(TOAD to CHINA): You were right all along, of course.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


DIS is hot and bothered and bored, baby, bored - Where's Mungo Jerry when you need him?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

GLOBAL WARMING Science Alpha-geeks are right. Burn, baby, burn!

HOL/RUS   Press good. Good press better. Try, baby, try!

CLINTON   Wag the Dog? How 'bout keeping the ``dog" safely in trou? Resign, baby, resign!

CHI/FRA/JAP   Roaring Silence is a Manfred Mann album. Sing, baby, sing!

GM PRESS KNIT Not enough time to do it right? Mix, baby, mix!

BRI/TUR DIS liked ERI and LUC, but what does DIS know? Nuttin', baby, nuttin'!

SUMMER '03 Ho-hum. Yawn. Snore, baby, snore ...

NFL FOOTBALL   Let the games begin! Play, baby, play!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(DUCK to HOLLAND): Sorry, I don't do clock cleaning. Too messy and complicated, what with all those tiny, oily springs and gears and levers and crap. Besides, JJ is my buddy. I don't want to make waves, pal, cause Britannia here rules 'em.

(RUSSIAN WAR DEPARTMENT, OMSK to DUTCH HQ, AMSTERDAM OR NEW JERSEY OR WHEREVER THE HELL HE ENDS UP): Pip? Is that the singular version of Pips, as in Gladys Knight and the ? I think your country is overrun with sillyologists - no wonder JJ is attacking you with abandon.

(FRANCE to JAPAN): Keep those Samaris moving onto the mainland Formosa is mine and as agreed as far as I go.

(THE ODESSAPHILE to LES FWENCH MISERABLES): Rich is right about the Nipponese, you know. Lest you had somehow rudely failed to notice, Lukey-Lukesan attacked my eastern holdings right from the start, without provocation. Through some rather sophisticated and adept play on my part, I have sneaklily turned these holdings into Japanese supply centers upon which, I suggest to you, I will never again set my hands. Savvy, eh? Listen and take heed: The Rising Sun will soon be dawning on your possessions, too. To arms! To arms!

(MULDER to SCULLY): Somebody doesn't like us! Must be another conspiracy.

(MOSCOW to BOMBAY): Cute. Keep it up. You sweet talk me into attacking both China and Turkey, then innocently point out to them how I'm the enemy. Hey, I'll take the lumps for my own treachery, to be sure, but I'm really glad they see through your piddling protestations and are giving you ``what for," too. Bide thee careful, sirrah, lest we get Biblical on your butt and forego Jonas for Judas!

(TOAD to JAPAN): Tora! Tora! Tora!

(RUSSIA to TURKEY): Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm scum. I admit it. Superscum, really. But that's MR. Superscum to you.

(TSAR to BOOB): So, I finally start dribbling in the press section and now you go silent? Go ahead, but I can stop writing at any time.

(BOOB to TSAR): Yeah, I know I've been quiet lately, but I'm trying to keep the szine on track. The fall always is better for that. We'll see....

(TSAR to BOOB): Yeah, I know. But it's not like I didn't beg for that by giving you the straight line.

(BOOB to TSAR): Straight line, what straight line.... as usual, I'm clueless. By the way, Charlotte couldn't think of anything to write.

(ODESSA to PROVIDENCE): I just thought of a palindrome. ``Wolf flow." Sort of like ``star rats." Or ``Wolf rats live on/no evil star flow." (Now you know what it's like to get press from you.)

(BOOB to PUNSTER DUCK): I already know what it's like to get press from me.... and I know what it's like to get press from you.... hmmmmm, what does that say about both of us???

(DUCK to SISKEBERT): Godzilla ... good? Hmm, that puts you in a minority of one. Why, pray tell, was it funny and good in your book, and panned by everyone else? You are the Consummate Contrarian.

(BOOB to DUCK): Have you seen it, or were you cowed by those critics?? Basically, I thought it slammed the Siskel/Ebert critics as they deserved to be slammed, it destroyed New York City, and the ethnic types (Japanese, French, etc.) hanging around the movie were great actors with some meaty little roles. Yeah, the monster was cheesy, but it was SUPPOSED to be cheesy! My wife and I laughed and were thoroughly entertained by it, that's what made it funny and good.

(DAPPER DUCK to PROVIDENTIAL HUSBAND): Can Charlotte come out and play? ((No.))

(DON to JIM, PART I): Happy Birthday, by the way, and many, many more!

(BOOB to DUCK): Mine is still a month off. How was yours? Did you get the cards??

(DON to JIM, PART II): You ... old? Pacific Ocean ... blue? Ice ... cold? Red Sox ... bums? Diplomacy players ... treacherous? Caruso ... bloodsucker?

(THE BARBARIAN PALACE): The duck waddled past the tub of barbarian and firmly set goo with a distinctive tenderness to his waddle. ``Consulting with the British Monarch again?" ``Yeah," muttered the duck. ``He seems to have borrowed the chinese soap collection and keeps dropping them." ``And you bend over and pick them up, of course," chuckled the barbarian. ``Yeah, how'd you know? And there is this sharp pain! Small but annoying and unexpected!" scowled the duck. ``Here," offered the barbarian, ``Some of this isn't quite set up, make yourself a plug." He then described where the plug should go. The feathers on the back of the duck's neck began to rise even as his nethermost regions puckered in fear.

(www.timricequoteofthemonth.alt): `` ... I look for truth, and find that I get damned!" ``But what is truth? Is truth unchanging law? We both have truths - are mine the same as yours?" Pontius Pilate to Christ (Jesus Christ Superstar)

THE HERMIT: 1995 IH, Regular Diplomacy


End Game Stats Some Time

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Randy Ellis, Box 1000, Jackson Lake Lodge, Moran, WY 83013 ($10)

ENGLAND: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190, ($5)

FRANCE: Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of ITALY: Mark Kinney, 3613 Coronado Drive, Louisville, KY 40241, (502) 426-8165

alberich of

RUSSIA: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367 ($4)

ksher of or Keith_Sherwood of TURKEY: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($3) GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287



Winter 1910

ENGLAND (Lowrey): has f NTH, a YOR, a HOL, f NAF, f BAR,

f DEN, f BAL, a STP.

FRANCE (Rauterberg): bld a par, a mar, PLAYS ONE SHORT; has a BUR, a PIE,

a RUH, a BER, f GOL, f WES, a MUN, a ROM.

GERMANY (Kent): rem a boh, f hel; has a SIL.

RUSSIA (Williams): has a SEV.

TURKEY (Sherwood): has a BUL, a TYO, a TRI, a UKR, a MOS, f CON,

a GAL, f ADR, f TYH, a VIE, f TUN, a APU, f ION.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($7)

ttallman of

ENGLAND: Michael Lowrey, 4322 Water Oak Road, Charlotte, NC 28211

mlowrey of

ENGLAND EMERITUS: Tom Nash, 202 Settlers Road, St. Simons Island, GA 31522, (912) 634-1753 ($4)

75763.707 of CompuServe.COM

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($5)

prosit of

GERMANY: Doug Kent, 10214 Black Hickory Rd., Dallas, TX 75243 (214) 234-8386 ($5)

73567.1414 of CompuServe.COM ITALY: Simon Billenness, 33 Lancaster Terrace, Apt. 211, Brookline, MA 02446, (617) 731-1419 ($5)

sbillenness of RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947

wllmsfmly of

RUSSIA EMERITUS: Ken Peel, 12041 Eaglewood Court, Silver Spring, MD 20902, (301) 949-4055 ($5)


TURKEY: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367

ksher of or Keith_Sherwood of

TURKEY EMERITUS: Pete Gaughan, 502 Mt. Dell Drive, Clayton, CA 94517-1503, (925) 673-3396 ($4)

gaughan of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes (back from the tropopause): 1) The game specific standby list for this game includes Garret Schenck, Cathy Cunning Ozog, Mike Mills, Dick Martin, Vince Lutterbie, and Eric Brosius in reverse alphabetical order (note that Garret is STILL missing... someone find him!). Guest press from potential standbys would be a ``good thing'' if they wanted to be chosen.

2) Note that Pete has moved and Arsenic and Old Farts players need to take special note of the new address. This is of great importance in some ways, though probably not of interest for this game..... I will be welcoming Pete as the GM of ``Arsenic and Old Farts" which will be published in these pages, beginning next issue. I'm really excited about it. It's been a GREAT game, and I do not make that statement lightly.

3) Back here in this one, we have the inevitable FET (almost DIAS) draw proposal. Nevertheless, Doug and Don have full votes around here and they can veto this merely by not voting. So can those of you included in it. Anyway, please vote with your Spring orders and if all five of you approve it, the game will be over.

Press: (PARIS to LONDON): Our third build was an ill-gotten gain, due to the surprising German pig-headedness re: Kiel. We regard Kiel as yours, so we will make no build for owning it.

(BREST to ANKARA): Our continued ownership of Venice may be shortlived, but we kept it fair and square. We'll take a build for it, and try to use it to seize your other Italian dots.

Ghods too (ghodstoo on the judge): 1997 KT, Internet Judge Diplomacy

I'm holding my write-up on Ghods too until I have more space and time. The game history AND all of the negotiating letters may be found in the Diplomatic Pouch showcase:

This is FASCINATING reading. I've heard some comments that this IS fascinating reading. I apologize for some of the formatting difficulties in the way the program edited the press. Would anyone like to make comments for print? If I don't get around to this shortly, I might drop it..... you guys know that I just leave these notes in here as a ``shopping list'' to remind myself and that I am most likely to get off my butt in responding to comments by any of you.

AUSTRIA: Edi Birsan (edi of;

ENGLAND: Jamie Dreier (James_Dreier of;

FRANCE: John Barkdull (uejon of;

GERMANY: Pitt Crandlemire (pittc of;

ITALY: Cal White (diplomat of;

RUSSIA: Mark Fassio (jm2365 of, fazfam of;

TURKEY: Hohn Cho (hohncho of

GM: Jim Burgess (burgess of

USIN judge: judge of

((The main point of this game was to take some successful E-Mail players, some successful FTF tournament players, and some successful PBM players, put them in a game together using the Judge E-Mail technology and see what happens. The game ended in a France/England/Turkey DIAS draw. Cal White did write a recent note about the game in ``pouchtoo'' another demo game currently ongoing on judge of

Cal White (Tue, 4 Aug 1998 13:49:35 GMT)

I finally got around to trying to read the incredible amount of mail generated by the ghodstoo game. It's quite a shame that almost none of Edi Birsan's letters made it in there as the whole thing seems quite complete without input from one of the major influences in that game. ((That isn't really true, most of it is in there, it just is ``mislabeled'' because a ``judge code parsing program'' created the files.)) Hopefully, that will be corrected for THIS game as everyone is using the Judge software.

I DID find one priceless tidbit in the reams of press: ``IMO, it's not generally a good idea to accuse that your fellow players, especially in a game where all are experts such as this one, are gullibly eating someone else's lines without thought.''

The author? None other than our very own Hohn Cho! The very same Hohn Cho who has berated most of us in pouchtoo for falling under the Russian spell! Heh heh, sorry Hohn, but I couldn't resist...

Cal, diplomat of

COVINGTON CROSS: 1993 AQ, Regular Diplomacy


Addresses of the Participants

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Drive, Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339

prosit of

GERMANY: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

RUSSIA: Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02192 ($5)

72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

TURKEY: Stan Johnson, 1254 East Broadway Road #56, Mesa, AZ 85204-2223, (602) 668-1105

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

COLUMBUS CHILL: 1993 J, Regular Diplomacy


Summer 1919

AUSTRIA (Davis): has a BUD.

FRANCE (Zarr): has a GAS, f BRE, a MAR, a POR, f SPA(NC), f MID.

GERMANY (Jones): has f HOL, f KIE, a RUH, a GAL, a MOS,

a VIE, a BOH, a MUN, a TYO, a WAL, a BEL, a UKR, f NTH, f CLY.

TURKEY (Weiss): has a BUL, f TUN, f BLA, a RUM, a VEN, a TRI, a SER, f GOL,

a SEV, f WES, f NAF, f PIE, f ADR.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Rick Davis, 2009 Bodega Avenue, Petaluma, CA 94952, (707) 773-1044

redavis914 of FRANCE: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

GERMANY: Charles Jones, 1722 Quail Circle, Corona, CA 91720-4155, (909) 735-8981

RUSSIA: Eric Schlegel, 314 Fords Lane, Aberdeen, MD 21001, (410) 272-3314

TURKEY: Richard Weiss, 500 Beale St. # 104, San Francisco, CA 94105, (415) 512-7221 rcw of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) All draws and concessions are rejected. The FAGT, FGT, the GT sportscar, and FG draws are reproposed and so are concessions to Germany and Turkey. Please vote with your Fall orders. Failure to vote vetoes all proposals as usual. Harold complains below that I didn't get all his reproposals in last time. Basically, this was because of the confusing way he listed them. Technically, if you are submitting orders, I would prefer you listed separately (a) your votes on the current proposals, and (b) which proposals you want reproposed. Believe me, if I had doubt about what someone's stance was on a vote, I would clarify it (as those of you know who I've asked to do so). Without giving you any further information, let me assure you that no draw in this game ever has passed. We can talk about it in the endgame statements afterward if you like and I can tell you about how it went, if the players give their permission for me to discuss it. Until that time, all I do is say ``all draws and concessions are rejected,'' and they are. As an unsolicited piece of advice, one is generally better off trying to end a game by offering a small focused set of proposals or a single proposal that everyone can agree to, rather than have long lists of proposals, many of which have no realistic chance of passing. The more this sort of thing goes on, the more it convinces me that the game itself deserves to still go on, since the desired outcome is not clear. Just for the record, I am not even close to ``calling this a stalemate''.


(GERMANY >> > TURKEY): I still would like to see Austria die. I'll support you into Budapest.

(FRA-GM): In every set of instructions I send to you, I both propose and vote for F/G, F/G/T, and F/G/T/A. Yet, none of these passed and I noticed with some interest that you say only the F/G/T/A was reproposed. How could this be? ((See above. I assure you, it is VERY clear that the three proposals you cite are not passing at the moment and have never passed. I am very clear on precisely who is vetoing which draws and where and when votes have changed. I remind everyone that regardless of what anyone says in the press, their votes are private. You cannot force yourself or be forced to tell the truth in press. France could possibly say what he just said and be vetoing the draws. My very strict policy precludes me from discussing just how particular draws have come not to be passed. Be assured that they are not.)) Have you been incorrectly tallying the votes just to make this inane game continue for your own evil, twisted purposes? ((Ever since I once ``ended a game before its time'' by accident, I vowed that never again would a game end unless I was sure everyone wanted to end it. I do not consider this an evil, twisted purpose. In this game, be assured that in every single season at least one player (perhaps more than one, but at least one) did not want the game to end. In some games, I have been less sure, but here I'm sure. And that's because you've all been quite reasonably involved in the game at all stages. By the way, I thank you for sticking with it. Really!))

(GERMANY >> > TURKEY): You are just pissed off that France is now doing for me what Austria did for you. Since you seem to have an ass hole fetish, you'll understand this. Blow it out your ass if you don't like it. I just got pissed off and quit voting for a 4-way. Austria is out and I will not vote for any draw that he is included in. Currently I am voting for a 2-way France/Germany, and a win for Germany. You will have to earn a place in any draw from now on. First thing kill Austria, or let me kill him. Stop being an ass.

(BOOB to GERMANY): I will remind you of the house rule that you must abuse me at least much as you abuse any other player and you are technically in violation of that this turn. I'm sure you will correct your behavior next time. ;-)

(FRA-TUR): So you won't let me live it down that I threw the game to Germany, eh? Listen, I never heard of you prior to this game, and you don't mean jack - - - - to me. Besides, since you live in San Francisco, I'm sure you give plenty of meaning to the term ``homo erectis''.

(BOOB to FRA): Ahem....

(FRA-GM): Where do you find these nutcases like Weiss? He should be locked up to protect the decent citizens of this country. Geez, maybe his address is his cellblock number! Ha!

(BOOB to HAROLD): See my message above to Charles. If you're asking me seriously, I found Richard when he was publishing a great little Diplomacy szine that had a ``win only'' philosophy. I liked the szine, I really like Richard, and the philosophy is self-explanatory. I'm still having fun watching this game. I hope you're still having fun playing it. The outcome is still in doubt.

(GERMANY >> > TURKEY): No, I don't believe that my mother had any kids with brains that lived, sorry. You should meet my brother and sister if you really wanted to have a good time playing a Diplomacy game. Lack of brain or not, we'll see who gets what he wants. First; I want you to kill Austria. Stop pissing around. Austria must die for stabbing me. I have a general rule, if you stab me you'd better kill me, because if not you die next. Second; give Harold some of your centers. Third; say you are sorry to Harold, Jim-Bob, and of course Mr. Wonderful the brain dead Diplomacy player who is currently planning to kick your ass. Time is running out, humble yourself or lose out altogether.

(GERMANY >> > FRANCE): Disband the unit that you need less. I would like to get into the Mid-Atlantic soon, but not next turn. I'll let you know. I'll need three or four fleets to seal the Med and keep the man with the ass fetish in the South out of the Atlantic.

(GERMANY >> > MIKE B.): I am still of the opinion that Jim-Bob made you up, sorry; and that you do not really exist. All that internet address bull that Richard used to prove your existence is easily faked. All Jim-Bob needs to do to create a ghost is get a friend to copy and send E-Mail messages for him. ((But Mike isn't ON the Internet.... faked or otherwise.)) By the way, I don't believe in Don Stafford either, or that anyone could be as good at this game as the Turkey says that you are. ((I don't believe in Don Stafford either, didn't you read the press last time.... it's Dan, it's Dan...)) Maybe Richard made you up, but you are made up. I have my own theories about why Richard's HOF rating is so low. ((It could be that he doesn't play Judge Diplomacy....)) It could be that he is a stone headed dip shit; who plays for the short term. It wouldn't have ever hurt him to kill Austria for me, but he isn't smart enough to see that he was sealed into the Med and the only player who had a chance to break this game was Germany. He just kept going being his low HOF rated self. By the way, Harold Zarr did ``shake things loose enough for someone to go for a win, which did result in a revival of interplayer dynamics did happen.'' It just did not happen for MR. low HOF. I wonder why. I am also wondering why that I'm now writing to someone that Jim-Bob made up and is not real? ((I wish I was smart enough to have invented someone like Mike Barno! I'm not.)) Must be my lack of living brain tissue. I'm lucky Richard pointed that out to me, I thought that all my problems were BO related.

(GERMANY >> > JIM-BOB): I agree with you Postal Diplomacy will live on as long as there is a Post Office. It's a lot more fun to get mail in the post box, than read E-Mail. ((I agree, but it won't win you points for abusing the GM to agree with me, how wimpy!!))

SUFFREN SUCCOTASH: 1993 AI, Regular Diplomacy


End Game Stats Some Time

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651 ($7)

ENGLAND: Karl Hoffman, 395 Imperial Way #220, Daly City, CA 94015, (650) 991-2394

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FRANCE: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956

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GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of ITALY: Dan Gorham, PO Box 279, Belmopan, Belize, CENTRAL AMERICA

Danielg of RUSSIA: John Schultz, #19390, Marion County Jail II, 730 East Washington Street, Indianapolis, IN 46202 TURKEY: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

GM EMERITUS: Garret Schenck, still lost, HELP!

Game Notes:

1) Remember that the default with leftover NMR insurance is to put it into a continuing sub until it is gone. You also can use it toward a new game, e.g. if Michael wants to join a new game he only needs to send me $8.

End Game Statements:

RUSSIA - Survival - John Schultz

This is an easy end game statement for me. I enjoyed the banter regarding alliances - knew it wouldn't end in a 3-way all along. Thought it would take longer to decide the job though. I didn't stab Austria when most would have. It might have changed the texture of the game some - but it would have done no good in the end. Austria and I both survived. That's as cool as it gets if you can't win.

Boob: Nope, won't be at any cons, etc. this year, but I'll be rolling in one of these times. I'll be the big guy with long white hair and beard, holding a marked resemblance to Yeti, and riding a replica 1948 Harley-Davidson panhead clone - black with red, yellow and orange pinstripes - with a tiny, tiny little lady on the back named Rose who looks like she definitely should be with someone else - and - well - everybody forgets I'm there anyway as soon as she smiles and melts everybody's heart, and sometime later someone will say who's that big old ugly guy and that will be me.

Personal Note to You:

File translated from TEX by TTH, version 1.0.