January 1, 1998 3

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287 Accessible through Internet at burgess of; FAX to (401) 277-9904

``Watch it, I'm in a bad mood.'' Toshiro Mifune as Sanjuro in the movie of the same name.

This issue is co-dedicated to Louise Auty and Toshiro Mifune. Toshiro Mifune, unfortunately, is now dead and we dedicate this issue to his memory and Louise, fortunately, is very much alive and back where she belongs with her Skin of Evil subszine in Life's Rich Pageant. See below for more on both dedications.

I've delayed the deadlines by a week since I know I will need it for issue #200. With luck, I will be ready to go with everything but the games by deadline. Hah!

The big news is that we are finally now fully htmlized so that you can read the szine with your favorite web browser. No, the results are still pretty ugly as this szine maintains its reputation for having the ugliest layout in Dipdom. The default will be to receive it as you always have been receiving it. The addition will be to receive the szine as an html attachment. You may receive it either way, or BOTH, as you choose. You'll still be managing your existence on the tap list yourselves. PLEASE do NOT send UNSUBSCRIBE requests to tap to the tap list. All the detail on where the szine will be under these formats eventually will follow next issue. This time, I am distributing the issue in both formats to the tap list.

The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada. You can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and new game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $15.00 ($10.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). Remember that music comments and reviews are scattered through the game press at times.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!! The Cal Tech ftp site is being mirrored on the machine as well. Issues of The Abyssinian Prince #131 to #186 are available via anonymous FTP from in the pub/diplomacy/Zines/TAP directory in compressed postscript format. I will be putting all of these issues up in html format. We'll get all that straightened out soon. The gracious assistance of Kevin Roust is most appreciated in keeping up this site. The files begin and go sequentially from there. The Caltech site is at:

or check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch at its brand new address with all of the information you would need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at:

In addition, through Jamie McQuinn's portion of the Pouch, or directly through:

you can access the mirror site to Caltech and get to the szine that way. This may turn out to be the same location where the html version will reside. I am waiting for Jamie McQuinn to get back to me on this.

THE SEARCH FOR who next?

While we're waiting, find some of these guys below! Give yourself a New Year's present!! I really want someone to track down Kevin Tighe, for whom we started this contest in the first place.

This is now going to be a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Garret Schenck or Jerry Lucas is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Bid on PDORA items, subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for. This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.


The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 30 Poynter Road, Bush Hill Park, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 1DL, UK (johnh of The representives in Australia (John Cain, PO Box 4317, Melbourne University 3052, AUSTRALIA) or Belgium and some other European countries (Jef Bryant, Rue Jean Pauly, 121, B-4430 ANS, BELGIUM) also will forward your subscription on to the editor in either Australian dollars or continental European currencies respectively. Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

Obviously, I'm not anywhere close to getting back around to doing international szine reviews, but who knows, I might pick it up again at any time. I actively am searching for more international traders. I am pleased to have added a couple of them in the last few issues.

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

It would be nice if I read my own announcements! Mark Stretch has moved and his new address REALLY is: 90 Colwell Rd., Berinsfield, Oxfordshire, OX10 7NU, UK. Sorry about that, Mark. Now a special treat reprinted from Jim Benes' Dippy. If it was published elsewhere, I didn't see it and Jim has pretty limited circulation in the postal world and none in the Internet world. Take careful note of that spelling, Mark Nelson!

Diplomacy Presentation in Japan by Allan B. Calhamer

From November 1 to November 10 of this year I was in Japan, making a presentation on the Game of Diplomacy and diplomatic history at Keio University at Shonan Fujisawa. The presentation included a lecture, games of Diplomacy, and appearances in a couple of classes.

The project was suggested by Prof. Theodor Holm Nelson, known as Ted Nelson, a man famous in the computer world; among other things, the coiner of the word ``hypertext'' and several other expressions in current use.

He was interested in Diplomacy as an example of minimalist design. Any place you can't move to, just doesn't have a name; armies and fleets move and interact in virtually the same way, and almost regardless of their countries; nothing in the diplomacy session necessarily binds anything in the move session, and so on. There are very few pieces and spaces, yet one game will play very differently from another.

The students were very sharp, making hardly any errors during test runs of a couple of moves before the games. They seemed to be very favorable toward the game.

The question was raised occasionally whether a Japanese group would play differently because of cultural differences. I thought this occasion offered too little experience to venture an opinion.

In the lecture, I defended the realism of non-binding diplomacy sessions, mentioning, among other things. a number of agreements worldwide which are currently in a state of violation.

I dealt also with balance of power; doubted the inevitability of the First World War, or of any particular set of alliances; and attempted to explain why Wilson got absolutely nowhere at Versailles.

I was prepared with material on significant differences between the Game and the real thing. I consider the differences illuminating, but don't want to be unaware of, or to conceal, the differences; but time did not permit this or a lot else.

Keio University is the oldest private college in Japan. It has five campuses. Shonan-Fujisawa is composed of massive modern buildings. It is the high tech site; classrooms full of screens, monitors, and cables. It is 25 or 30 miles southwest of Tokyo center.

Ted suggested a variant for five players that seemed to work well. England and Turkey were dropped. Moves were allowed to those points, but the supply centers were voided as such.


The last call goes out for special Issue #200 letters on music! I intend to have this set of submissions have two parts (submit your thoughts on one or both, but NOT neither!):

a) Your thoughts on what music of 1997 meant to you - possibly in the form of top (whatever number) CDs, favorite/memorable concerts, zapper singles that made you jump out of your chair, or whatever form you like! - which can be a list, or it can have lots of discussion/comments. For me this has been the most fascinating music year in some time, what about for you? Can't you at least give me ONE song that stood out to you? Sure you can.

b) Your thoughts on how music has changed/progressed/declined over the approximately 13 year history of this szine's focus on music issues (choose a relevant time window of your own if you like - that's the primary range I'll be looking at). This could be a new or revaluation of a list of your top CD/records of the decade/century or it could take a discussion format. The main point is that it be YOUR story. Your story does count (much as I realize that many of you don't seem to think I believe that). Originally, I was going to do a list (and I still may) but I am now leaning to something more verbal.

You can also combine the two questions to say something very short and simple. I even want to hear from those of you who would say something like this (for example): ``I grew up in the 70's listening to Yes, Genesis, and Renaissance and you know what? That's all I still like to listen to. Well, except, Anthony Phillips has another great album out this year.'' Then I can ask: ``Great! Where can I find it??'' Give it a ride!

Toshiro Mifune Dies!

Since Toshiro Mifune died on Christmas Eve many of you may have missed the death of one of the century's greatest film actors. Mifune was a cult figure of mythic proportions to film lovers, being a primary influence for people as diverse as Steven Spielberg and John Belushi. Unfortunately, of course, he made most of his films in Japanese so most of you may only have seen the vastly inferior Hollywood remakes of his greatest films like The Seven Samurai and Yojimbo which suffered tremendously from the absence of his nuanced acting styles (no, I'm not going to tell you the title of the remakes, suffice it to say that they translated the ``samurai'' thing into a ``western'' thing). Mifune in his career played a range of samurai personalities from the regal to the profane, the latter of which Belushi was imitating/parodying in his SNL samurai character. Mifune sometimes, especially in his greatest film Rashomon, played to that entire range within the same role. Rashomon was the extreme since it is that famous movie where the same scene is played from the different points of view of all of the principals and Mifune's subtle and not so subtle acting differences across the perspectives makes the film work.

Whereas his frequent collaborator, director Akira Kurosawa, gained much of the press for these movies, I've always believed that Toshiro Mifune was the real essential element. I thought Kurosawa's Mifuneless epics were basically snoozers. All of the aforementioned Kurosawa/Mifune collaborations are available on video in the US, as is the unfortunately underrated hilarious Sanjuro where Mifune plays the wise old cranky samurai teaching some young samurai the ``ways of the world'' in all their complexity. This is the film with the occasional line ``Watch it, I'm in a bad mood,'' and that was cause for deep worry! For the classic pure Mifune film, check out The Samurai Trilogy - a five hour epic that deserves to be hailed as one of the great epic films of all time. Kurosawa and Mifune also made some great non-Samurai films. Red Beard is one of those that comes to mind, about a doctor's mission to the poor that cuts across societies and cultures. You may have to hunt to find these videos but it will be worth the hunt and you'll get used to the English subtitles over the Japanese. DO NOT watch any of the dubbed versions of these films, since you will miss Mifune's great voice.

Toshiro Mifune also made some films in English later in his career, but unfortunately most of them are labeled as classic Thanksgiving Turkeys. Bushido Blade deserves the reputation as a stunningly bad Richard Boone, James Earl Jones, Toshiro Mifune vehicle about the arrival of Commodore Matthew Perry in Japan. Journey of Honor does similar things to John Rhys-Davies and Christopher Lee with Mifune. The ten hour made for TV epic with Richard Chamberlain Shogun probably is the exception to this trend and illustrates the full measure of what Mifune was capable of. I realize I may be an exception of one on this point, but I also loved Spielberg's paean to Mifune (which also stars John Belushi!), 1941. ((Luke, paean is your new word for this issue! Congratulations (see below). You need to watch all these Mifune films and then write some great press for the Colonial game. If you don't, I'll have to. Mifune already inspired you to divine the Duck's plan for this season.)) Mifune brilliantly plays the Japanese submarine commander in this totally over the top, inside film joke filled, zany World War II comedy about the Japanese ``invasion'' of California. Go watch this one again after you watch a few of the earlier Mifune films and you'll enjoy it as much as I did and as much as Spielberg enjoyed making it. I generally despise Spielberg's movie making style and for me this film is the exception - yup, it's my favorite Spielberg film.

I know I don't write much about film, but I couldn't resist when I didn't see one even halfway decent obituary of this great Japanese actor. He was 77 years young and his film career spanned the period from his twenties just after the war to his last films in his seventies this decade.

Pete Duxon (26-11-97)

Dear Jim, Well, my apologies for the silence. I was sure I had written. Anyway I've loaded the Sundays Static and Silence into the CD player so I'll waffle. ((And there is no greater waffling music around. Probably like you, I've been a Sundays fan for quite some time and it is good to see them getting their just due with this latest.))

Now this pains me to say it, but I've been ashamed of some of the things done in this country in the last four months. ((Hang loose, I know what you mean, but it hasn't been that bad.)) The outpouring of ``grief'' over Diana left me cold. ((Me, too, but it was at least as bad over here as it was there, if that makes you feel any better. Doubtlessly it doesn't.)) It was all very sad but that's all it was. I knew the country had gone mad when two or three weeks later I was in a newsagent in North Norfolk and they were watching a video of the funeral. ((Probably like you, I managed to miss it. I've never even heard that Elton John song all the way through, but both of those took some effort.))

Of course it couldn't get any more bizarre could it? Yup! Have you been following the trial of that British nanny Louise Woodward? Boston isn't that far from you is it? ((Working in Boston and living in Providence made ignoring the trial well nigh impossible; however, I actually found some elements of that case interesting, which I will get to momentarily. I was going to write about it in last issue, thanks for prodding me since I thought you Brits would be interested in my perspective.)) The tabloid press have virtually canonized the girl. Just to give you an insight into the inner mentality of the tabloids, I've enclosed a page out of the satirical magazine Private Eye. ((Yeah, about what I expected. Now, stick with me on this... I'll make a point eventually, I guarantee it. The legislation that allows au pairs in the US was just renewed before this whole brouhaha started, which was too bad since I think the debate would have benefited from the higher public awareness and in any case that legislation may be reconsidered anyway. The basics of the legislation allows just five (I may be slightly off on the precise number) nonprofit organizations to operate au pair agencies in this country. These organizations, for their size and the scope of their operations, are among the most aggressive lobbyists in Washington, regularly hosting lavish parties for Congressmen, themselves, and anyone else who wanders along looking like they could use a martini. Ordinarily, their legislation is written by these agencies and ``passed in the dead of night''. The particular one which matched up Louise Woodward with the Eappens is the most extreme of these extreme in ``profits'' (the line between illegal distribution of profits and European trips and lavish parties is difficult to perceive) that they have to ``disburse'' through these means and their casual disregard for the rest of the rules in the au pair legislation. The au pair legislation actually is designed as a parallel to the exchange student legislation and the au pairs are on special student visas. The idea is that they are here for educational enrichment. Originally, they had to be taking a program of study here in addition to ``living'' with their host family. The latest legislation, heavily influenced by this lobbying, codifies what already had been the latest practice - that they just need to be doing some sort of ``self-enrichment''. Most of the au pairs define this as an aerobics class or an English class at best. The number of hours that they are supposed to be ``working'' in child care is also heavily circumscribed. I forget what these hours are, but they are less than a full 40 hour week and they need days off and time for both their self-enrichment and for experiencing the culture. It is very much the case that nearly all au pairs define experiencing the culture as discos, raves, and late nights drinking. Among the hosts who accept and enjoy the concept of au pairs this mostly works and gets built into the expectations for child care. Not only that, but the pay that is required in stipend plus board along with the payment (can you say ``kickback''?) to the au pair agency is hefty and generally much more than one child would cost in regular child care, although slightly less than two would cost (depending on the location). Thus, it really should be done for the interest in the cultural exchange, not as a indentured servant or a quasi-slave. The practical structure of the system insures this by actively encouraging the au pairs to ``connect'' to each other and ``collude'' to ensure that no host family makes unduly harsh demands on any one au pair. The resulting experience, like the musical chairs that many college dorms become for freshmen, varies considerably but adjusts to equilibrium through the single year that au pairs are permitted to stay. That equilibrium is not much to the liking of many host families who end the process with a bitter taste in their mouths. Other hosts who salute the process and value the cultural exchange are profoundly satisfied. Finally, and this is the key guideline, since the program is structured as it is, the care of children under two is highly discouraged. There is not an outright ban on au pairs caring for children this young, but the Eappens undoubtedly got into the program in the first place by emphasizing the care of their older child. This misusing of the program and the potential culpability of the au pair agency itself was quite properly inadmissable evidence at the trial. This angered people over here (and undoubtedly the British tabloid press and people as well, if only subconsciously) since they couldn't see why everyone was focusing on ``poor Louise''. Well, it was poor Louise who was on trial. The legal system (at least here in the US) is properly very hesitant to let attorneys wander all over the place introducing excess data and the legal system handles cases of multiple parties extremely poorly. My feeling is that this is one of those ``poor judgment'' issues where everyone was wrong - with some speculation here about all the issues which were properly not admissable. The Eappens should not have not have applied for an au pair except to take care of their older child. The au pair agency should not have approved the Eappens' application. Louise should not have been using indirect techniques to try to ratchet down her workload to the standard workload that her au pair drinking buddies had in the Boston area. No one (whichever person or persons that was) should have been taking out all that tension on poor little innocent Matthew. He was the only one who surely was innocent. My opinion doesn't mean anything, but I actually am relatively comfortable with the legal outcome as it occured (recall that Louise was found innocent of murder but then the judge imposed a time served conviction for manslaughter since the jury was not asked to consider that charge) on the evidence available. I think that trying the Eappens or the au pair agency first for breaking the au pair law would have made certain other facts admissible that might have made the case against Louise stronger. These facts will come out in detail in following civil suits but Louise will not be able to be tried again if her culpability begins to look worse at that time. I think it's rather interesting since it brings up issues in how we decide the order of prosecutions when multiple crimes may have been committed in a single situation. If the prosecutors wanted a conviction of Louise on murder charges they needed to go after other people on lesser crimes first. This reverses the logic of most cases where trying the biggest capital crime first usually pays off. The emphasis on watching court trials on TV merely infuriates the public still further since they feel that the process doesn't allow the ``justice'' of all sides of the argument to be presented. Well, that's right, it doesn't. The prosecution sets things out in the worst possible light for Louise, the defense tries to cut holes in that view, the jury decides. That's oversimplified, of course, but no one really tries to present a balanced view of the defendant. I can see why it infuriates people who don't understand the legal system, but it still is the way the legal system needs to operate. Justice from many people's narrow perspectives is not done by this process.))

Well we've had six months of a new Government. Uhm? Can't spot the difference. I'm hoping the Conservatives will split because the Left of the Tory party may be more Left Wing than the Labour Party. ((I don't doubt it. It's gotten very little play over here, so I don't know as many details as I would like, but does your comment cover the proposed dismantlement of many of the Thatcherite British National Health Service reforms? They never had time to develop the markets that might have made the fundholder process work (although I agree it wasn't working yet). Do these issues interest your basic Joe Pint (modeled after our ``Joe Six-Packs'')?)) Yes, it's official, the country has gone stark raving bonkers.

I see no one responded to my anti-American diatribe. ((They probably agreed with every word in its entirety.)) Oh well I did try. ((Now you know how I feel sometimes. At least the music lists are trickling in pretty well. Thanks for your tape! I'm going to print that part of your letter next time.)) Hong Kong seems relatively quiet with the exception of its stock market (ouch). ((I made what was in retrospect a smart decision to keep my own pension money out of the Asian markets.))

Has the American South changed much since the sixties? This is a question aimed at getting an answer not at winding your readership up. ((Obviously, like most such questions, the answer is ``yes and no''. Racism persists in some fundamental ways very different from the way it occurs up here in the northeast. And air conditioners have spread everywhere so business happens there now in ways and scope that it didn't in the sixties and before. To me, those are the biggest and most important trends when looking at that region as a whole. But I'm not going to go on about it, I'll let the readership get wound up or not on their pleasure. People keep telling me that they read the letter column carefully but choose not to comment. I'm not entirely sure why. Your next comment is one of those that is responding to something specific but it isn't clear to me what it is.)) Obviously you're more optimistic about human nature than I am. I think history bears me out but boy I hope you're right.

Yeah I heard about Sri Lanka's cricket score. The way England bat it would take them all summer. ((Heh, heh, heh. You aren't too bad at inventing games, if they tend to be a bit drawn out; however, you haven't quite mastered the knack of remaining dominating at them.))


``Unfortunately, nobody's civilized enough these days to fight in straight lines on nice, open battlefields. But we take the enemies we get.'' - Larry Bond, Vortex

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904.

Standby lists: Mike Barno, John Breakwell, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Doug Kent, Paul Rauterberg, Doug Essinger-Hileman, Stan Johnson, Harry Andruschak, Dave Partridge, Andy York, Michael Pustilnik, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy. Mike Barno and Andy York stand by for the new Colonial Diplomacy game. Let me know if you want on or off the list. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks. I'd really appreciate it if anyone wanted to be added to the list.


The current opening is for Vincent Mous' Modern Diplomacy ten player variant. There are about 50 supply centers and it is set across a map slightly more expansive than the original's European map. The game is set to start in 1995 and I will go with that date. All rules are as in the original Diplomacy rules with the Suez Canal allowing passage of fleets and a weird canal running from the Black Sea to the Caspian Sea through Rostov and Volga. See the map in the postal version of this issue. Internet types can look at the map through the Diplomatic Pouch's archive. I remind you again to look at Chris Warren's evaluation of the powers' starting positions in Diplomacy World #83. Ask Doug Kent for a back issue by writing him at the address listed with the Zine Register game - I'm sure he'd send you the issue for three bucks. The starting positions for the game are:





ITALY: a MIL, f NAP, a ROM, f VEN.


RUSSIA: a GOR, a MOS, a MUR, f ROS, f STP.




This game is very popular on the Judges and has been written about by Chris Warren in Diplomacy World #83. Currently, Sean O'Donnell, Jeff O'Donnell, Paul Kenny, Eric Ozog, Brad Wilson, Jonas Johnson, and Harry Andruschak have expressed interest. Start sending your money now: $15.00 ($10.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance).

A new demo game also will be starting with the next issue. Who are the players, you ask? Get this lineup: Steve Emmert, Mark Fassio, Bob Slossar, Jim O'Kelley (the shark chum....), Don the Duck Williams, and, and, and.... the return of the Bloodsucker!! Kathy Byrne Caruso!!! Oh, and the seventh player? Yours truly, Jim-Boob Burgess. And the GM? Well, we are undoubtedly insane to attempt it (I started this thing as a subszine to North Sealth, West George because the editor of that szine was having such a tough time with GMing...), but it is the one and only Toadfather - TERRY TALLMAN!! Don't miss a gameturn. Be here, aloha!

Conrad von Metzke recently finished GMing a black hole game where you can freely jump over black holes instead of having them render spaces impassible. I played in this game and like the tactics of jumping over the black holes a great deal. Now there the black holes were random, but what would happen if you could plan them? The next NYEED game will feature this rule change and will be a 7x7 tourney format unless I am convinced otherwise. I am itching to get this game started, so it will start as soon as it is filled! You get a life of game sub, and the game itself is FREE!! Sandy Kenny, John Schultz, and Harry Andruschak are signed up. Just four more and we'll get started! Come on, this one will be REALLY exciting!!

I also would really like to open a game of Breaking Away. Is there any interest at all?? Well, John Schultz is interested. Others?? You don't need to own the game to play, I'm going to use Keith Thomasson's house rules that include the ``how to play the game.'' I printed Keith's rules a few issues back, but some of the shaded parts didn't reproduce properly. I'll print the rules properly if I get interest in the game. I thank John Harrington, the game's inventor, for encouraging me in this.

Otherwise Conrad von Metzke is the editor and publisher of Pontevedria, the game openings listing, if you're interested in other game openings. Send Conrad a SASE for the latest issue to: Conrad von Metzke, 4374 Donald Avenue, San Diego, CA 92117.

SHOW ME THE MONEY: 1997Mea04, Colonial Diplomacy



Fall 1901

BRITAIN (Johnson): a pun-KAM, f raj-KAR, f goa-WIO, a hyd-BEN,

f hk-CAN, f sin-MAL.

CHINA (Goranson): a MON S a pek-mac, a can-ton (d r:may,yun,nan,otb),

a ass-U.BUR, a nan-CHU, a pek-MAC.

FRANCE (Sasseville): a TON S BRITISH f hk-can, a cam-BAN, f ann-SCS.

HOLLAND (Desper): a SAR h, f sum-JS, f ts-NEW.

JAPAN (Dwyer): f up-OS, f KYU-ys, f SOJ C a kyo-fus, a KYO-fus.

RUSSIA (Williams): a bok-PER, a seo-FUS, f P.ART-ys, a akm-TAS, f bs-RUM.

TURKEY (Tallman): a syr-EGY, f ang-MED, f SHI h.

Supply Center Chart

BRITAIN (Johnson): del,bom,aden,mad,hk,sin,kam, (has 6, bld 5)
CHINA (Goranson): pek,sik,sha,mac,mon,u.bur,chu, (has 4 or 5, bld 2 or 3(r:otb,may))
FRANCE (Sasseville): ton,coc,ann,ban (has 3, bld 1)
HOLLAND (Desper): bor,sum,java,sar,new (has 3, bld 2)
JAPAN (Dwyer): tok,kyu,ota,kyo,vla (has 4, bld 1)
RUSSIA (Williams): mos,,omsk,ode,per,fus, (has 5, bld 3)
TURKEY (Tallman): ang,con,bag,egy,shi (has 3, bld 2)
Neutral: sud,tab,kag,cey,ass,ran,seo, (Total=58)

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Jonas Johnson, 3649 SE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97202, (503) 238-4430 ($5)

EcidLor of

CHINA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532, (716) 876-9374 ($5)

ForlornH of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

Djrolandb of

HOLLAND: Rick Desper, 34 Woodbridge Avenue, Highland Park, NJ 08904, (908) 985-0654. (E-Mail)

desper of

JAPAN: Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($5)

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947 ($5)

wllmsfmly of

TURKEY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($0)

ttallman of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Note again that I am using the standard Diplomacy dates for this game (following the lead of Jamie McQuinn) rather than starting with 1870 and having ``yearly'' seasons. I don't care what you write on your orders.


(TIM RICE QUOTE OF THE MONTH): ``Our teeth and ambitions are prepared!" - ``Be Prepared" from The Lion King.

(HOLLAND - TURKEY): Fascinating bit of press. Sorry that I don't have the energy to try to top it right now.

(CHINA-FRANCE): We are most distressed at your lack of response to our diplomatic missives. Perhaps our armed escort to Hanoi shall have better success. ((Then again, perhaps we will have the game's first retreat. You also have the option of the ``forward'' retreat. Let me know if you don't understand my SC chart style.))

(F-C; ANCIENT CHINESE CURSE ``May you live in interesting times"; ANCIENT CHINESE SECRET ``Calgon"): French colonial radio reports an eerie silence from across the border with China. The ambassador has not returned. we must assume the worst . Meanwhile the British and French ambassadors are partying up a storm. We hope he did nothing foolish while in a drunken stupor.

(CHINA-RUSSIA): If you even tried to sneak that fleet into Manchuria you shall be highly disappointed.

(JAPAN-RUSSIA): I just could not trust you after what I had heard about you.

(CHINA-JAPAN): I did receive your missive and I hope that we can come to some sort of mutually acceptable agreement.

(CHINA-BRITAIN): I can be magnamimous. Now we shall see whether or not you can be as well. ((Does being magnanimous include giving him one of your home centers? That is quite magnanimous indeed!))

(TURKEY to RUSSIA): One two three DIP! One two three DIP! One TWO three dip. One TWO THREE DIP! Ok, that's the tempo, now YOU try leading.

(HOLLAND - BRITAIN): Java Sea is mine, please. Your tea shipments are not needed. The islanders prefer coffee.

(CHINA-HOLLAND): It's too late for me to think of anything pithy of clever. Sorry.

(HOLLAND - JAPAN): I think you're the only player without email. Sorry to have not contacted you sooner, but, hey, why haven't you contacted me sooner?

(SCULLY to MULDER - NEW INFO ON THE ALIEN CONSPIRACY): It seems that the aliens are now working with that Britain-Russian alliance. Meanwhile I have discovered that Turkey and Japan are planning a meeting in Omsk.

(SANTA TURK to THE KIDS): I'm making a list and checking it twice, gonna find out who's naughty and lies, Santa Turk is watching his butt...

(HOLLAND - WORLD): Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Good Night! signoff

(TURKISH PALACE): The Chinese looking person drifted over to the pen in the corner of the Hall of Immense Whoopee and made eye contact with a cute ewe and said over his shoulder, ``You really know how to make a weary traveller at home!" ``Are you glad the palace is stocked with `live' stock or is that a cattle prod in your pocket?" called out the duck from a large aquarium filled with kissing gourami's. He tried to soul kiss one but it was too fast for him. The barbarian looked around the palace and murmured, ``Not only is the land changed, the home lands shifted and the board filled with errors but the straight men aren't." The duck raised his head, draped with aquarium weeds and smiled, ``Ain't it the truth..."


(BOOB to CHINA): He reports that the weather is cool and serene... perhaps a bit blue.

(THE BARBARIANS' PALACE): He nodded in some small amusement at the antics of the Chinese ambassador. His command of his puppets was quite good but the squeals from the English Puppet seemed a tad too real. His efforts to mimic the gargling speech of the duck was quite good and the puppet playing the Dutchman had just the right look of sullen silliness for the part the Chinese had written for him. But suddenly the Barbarian felt..that feeling. Somewhere nearby was The Daf!. But the feeling wasn't quite right. Rather than the fiery heat and passion of The Red Daf there was a cool, serene essence. Something old, something new, something borrowed...something blue...

(TURKISH THEATRICAL AGENT to CHINESE OFF BROADWAY TRAVELING COMPANY OF Leave It To Beaver): ``Look, Wang 'ol buddy. You got a great little group but the dowager as June Cleaver? Deng as Ward? I am sure your audiences can live with the historical inaccuracies but having the little froggy fellow playing the Beav is a bit much. ((Roland as the Beav? I can see it, I can see it!! Rick, you're the only other one here who has met Roland, I think, what say ye? I think you could play Eddie Haskell!!))

HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON: Round #7 - 1997Jrn39, 7x7 Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy


Summer 1907

AUSTRIA (R. Ellis): has a VIE, f ALB, a SER; and

nuked TUN(2), VEN, EDI, LON, and at long last THE GM!!

ENGLAND (J. Ellis): has a LVP; and nukes withheld.

FRANCE (Schultz): has f MID, a GAS; and nuked BUL, GRE, ANK, SMY, CON(2).

GERMANY (Barno): has f HOL, a BER, a MUN;

and nuked ROM, NAP, TUN(2), GM(at 664 Smith Street), GM(at 666 Smith Street).

ITALY (Dwyer): has f ION; and nuked KIE(2), BEL, CON(2), SEV(2), SPA.

RUSSIA (Lancaster): has GOB, f RUM, a UKR; and nuked KIE(2), DEN, PAR, MAR.

TURKEY (Andruschak): has f BLA; and nuked SWE, WAR, STP, MOS, SEV(2).

Addresses of the Participants Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309 Randy Ellis, #1 Flamingo Lodge Highway, Flamingo, FL 33034-6798

Jeff Ellis, 2828 Hayes Road, #531, Houston, TX 77082 (281) 556-2022 ($2)

John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041.

Mike Barno, PO Box 509, Gardiner, MT 59030

Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159

Stuart Lancaster, 4127 SW Webster, Seattle, WA 98136 ($4)

stuart of

GM: THREE TIMES VAPORIZED!! Was at 664 AND 666 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327

Current Standings

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 TOTAL

HARRY ANDRUSCHAK  4  4  5  0  0  5  18
RANDY ELLIS  2  2  1  0  1  5  11
JEFF ELLIS  1  4  3  1  4  3  16
JOHN SCHULTZ  3  1  5  4  2  2  17
MIKE BARNO  0  4  1  5  5  3  18
LUKE DWYER  5  0  5  3  4  2  19
STUART LANCASTER  4  3  4  5  0  0  16
Black Holed 15 15  8 14 18 12 22 104
Neutral  0  1  2  2  0  2   7

Total 34 34 34 34 34 34 22 226

Times GM Nuked  1  5  2  3  1  5  3 20
Lee Kendter, Jr.  0  1  0  0  0  0  1
Clinton/Dole  0  1  0  0  0  0  1
Garret Schenck  0  0  1  0  0  0  1
Switzerland  0  0  1  0  0  0  1
Ireland  0  0  1  0  0  0  1
Nukes Withheld  4  0  5  4  0  5  5 23

Game Notes (firmly orbiting in the tropopause):

1) Tentative congratulations are given to Mike Barno! There are a few weird things that could happen on the last move, but nothing that I can see that would stop Mike from winning. Mike showed that starting slow can be an advantage.


(BARNO): This turn's real-life adventure: I moved to upstate New York, then back to Yellowstone's north entrance, to a house within half a mile of my previous residence. My big Olds survived the round trip (over 4000 miles) with no problems I couldn't fix. It used twice as much gas as the Fiero would have (had its engine not self-destructed), but carried ten times as much stuff. (Not the cord of wood I'd purchased, split, and stacked, though. ((Frankly, if it HAD fit, I'd have thought you were crazy if you dragged your wood back and forth across the country with you. Perhaps I don't know the value of a well split cord of wood....)) I lost that, and some other property, besides all the gas money the moves cost me.) Enroute east, I got to play games with James Wall, Russ Rusnak, Tom Johnston, and Chuck Kaplan. In NY I gamed with Jeff Bohner and his brother Greg, Tom Swider (visiting his parents for Thxgvg), and Dave Klokner (a MadCon veteran). Now I have the same PO box as before, but no phone yet.

(YELLOWSTONE to ANTARCTICA): ``A man is ethical only when life, as such, is sacred to him, that of plants and animals as that of his fellow men, and when he devotes himself helpfully to all life that is in need of help.'' (Albert Schweitzer.)

(CLINTON-GORE): Hey Al, look at this new pet dog I got for Hillary!

(GORE-CLINTON): Good trade.

(WISDOM FROM THE CLASSICAL AGE): ``Men must fight.'' (Euripedes, 430 B.C.)

(MIKE to RANDY): In November, I finally hiked my 200th mile of the year, on the LaDuke Trail just north of where I was living the last two years. Did you pass 200 on that big hike with Stuart?

(JULY 10, 1970): ``Schlosser and Baker camped about four miles north of Gardiner across the Yellowstone River from Devil's Slide. While Schlosser slept in his sleeping bag, Baker shot him twice in the head with a .22 pistol, then dragged his body to the river where he cut it into six parts with a twelve-inch sheath knife. He cut off several fingers, beheaded, and otherwise dismembered the corpse, and then cut out the heart and ate it.'' (Lee Whittlesey, Death in Yellowstone.) Does this explain the playing style of the Dip player who lives about four miles north of Gardiner, across the river from Devil's Slide?

(MIKE to RANDY): I evaluate Stuart's artistic skills, as shown in that electronic drawing, to be on the same plane as his diplomatic skills. (Heh.)

(MIKE to JEFF'S FRIENDS): ``What have you done with the disappeared?'' (Argentinean protest chant.)

(DR. SHACK YE QUACK - FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE): If a man says something in a forest, and his wife isn't there to hear him, is he still wrong? ((Absolutely. No question about it! Nietzsche was never married and never understood women very well. His own commentaries on women were rather third rate (I didn't choose them partly for that reason). So that's a very long way of saying that if Nietzsche ever did answer this question, he would likely get it positively and absolutely wrong.))

(JOHN - TRANSYLVANIA): So, about the King book. What is pseudonym. I didn't know of any other than Bachman.

(ANDRUSCHAK-GM): The smaller the statistical sample, the less reliable a statistic is. A statistical sample of ONE is a very unreliable statistic. I am sure congratulations are due to Barno in that his diplomatic strategy, whatever it was, beat the brainless tit-for-tat and everything else.

But gosh, was the margin ever thin. Barno got 20 and Randy got 15, for a mere six point spread after 7 rounds. In theory, every player could have had as much as six points per round. In this first statistical sample, the winner got almost 3 points per round and the loser got just over two points per round. Thank you for indulging my whim and running this 7x7 format. ((Entirely my pleasure! I ran it because I wanted to do it as much as because you asked for it.))

This is not an endgame statement, just some Summer 1907 press to get the juices flowing. And to relieve my boredom with the holidays. The truth is, I hate Christmas and everything to do with Christmas. From the Christmas trees and decorations that the stores put up on my birthday (4 October), to those irritating Salvation Army bell ringers, ((But every time they ring their bell an angel gets its wings! Whoops, sorry, bet you can't stand angels either.... I couldn't resist. I, of course, don't like the commercialization of Christmas either and for the most part just stay away from it. I didn't set foot in one of the stores celebrating it big time all season. I saw most of it in the Post Office when I kept thinking, gee, I haven't heard this Christmas muzak at all this year (except there, and I realize that working there you had to hear lots more of it than I did).)) to every other charity monger trying to lay guilt trips on people, ((That one shouldn't bother anyone. People lay guilt trips on themselves. I've never been affected by someone else's trip on that score. To me, the charity mongers have every right to go out and try to find the guilty ones who will give them money, just as I have the right not to give them money. I seek out my own charities directly (or through groups I believe in). So, I am unaffected - more or less.)) to long lines at the post office, to crowded malls, and most especially (as a music lover) to the endless playing of Christmas carols on the muzak systems.

(JOHN - MIKE): About this time I start wishing for NMRs - which I hate any other time.

(BARNO to GM): You scared me by leaving the X off from Warsaw on the map. ((Good time to remind everyone that the map always must be considered the SECONDARY report. I adjudicate the game in text and then make the maps last when I am usually rushing to get the szine out. Sins of ``omission'' in particular are quite common.)) I gave A Berlin a silly order, expecting Warsaw to be nuked. Had the map's version been correct, I would be kicking myself for giving up a chance at a center.

(MIKE to HARRY): I've played a lot of variants and helped to design a couple. On your three questions: Assuming you don't count two-player games such a Intimate Dip as having the essence of Diplomacy, I think 3 is the smallest viable player-count. Essentially, it's like coming into the endgame with three balanced positions and no ``history'' of earlier cooperation or stabs. Three is better than four, for the reason Jim mentioned: the tendency of four to become a static two-on-two.

I don't think it's as bad for six or eight players as Jim expects. In a game where board position has no effect (such as Perfect Dip) or little effect (such as Anarchy Dip, where powers start scrambled all over the board), alliances are more likely to wind up two-sided (``boys-vs.-girls'' or ``historical-Axis-vs.-Allies''). In ordinary semi-balanced Dip-like game setups, alliances with six or more players tend to be of mixed sizes rather than two-on-two-on-two, and thus are likely to change upon eliminations more frequently than Jim projects for 6 or 8 players.

As for the largest viable game, World War IIIb works well postally, and that has about 15 players. As Jim noted, it breaks down into regional battles in the early game, leading to 4-5 independent eliminations; but it would be difficult to win without significant dealings with the strongest players to emerge from the far side of the board. Geography affects this factor: WW IIIb's left edge wraps around to its right edge, so there is more interregional interaction in the midgame than would be seen on a flat rectangular map.

Actually, 34-player Anarchy (everybody gets one center on the standard board) works fine if you can keep people interested. Typically it's difficult to find standbys except for people who've already been knocked out and might carry a grudge into a replacement position. ((Some of us are playing a fine game in Paul Kenny's szine right now where his policy [as is common] is not to have standbys at all, so they become CDed until they are blown away. We are down to about seven players now, mostly allied in pairs. My problem with the endgame in these large games is that ``loyalty'' to long term allies is almost too high for an interesting game. We've just now reached the point that all of the ``unaligned'' players are out or almost out and it could become just a big stalemate at that point. I can't say more, of course, without compromising my own position in that game.)) This would be better for PBEM's quick deadline capability than for postal play, where there might be 15 powers still alive after two years of realtime. ((And indeed, Anarchy is quite popular on the Judges.))

I have no ``ideal'' number of players. Jim's reasoning on this question impresses me less than on the previous two. ((And I am less committed to my own reasoning on that point.))

(JOHN BOY - BOOB): Good press last time around. ((Thanks, but it's all of you who make it possible!))

(MIKE to HARRY): I've enjoyed postal Railway Rivals and Empire Builder. I don't know who's running games these days, but Eric and Claire Brosius could tell you. Jim, can you hook Harry up with the Brosiuses? ((Sure, Eric gets the szine and should see this, right, Eric? Eric has been running Railway Rivals mostly, I think, and the latest Pontevedria says that he doesn't have a current opening, but is contemplating one. If Harry had E-Mail I would recommend any of several excellent Brit szines I trade with that mostly offer Railway Rivals. It would be tough, but not impossible, to play Railway Rivals in a Brit szine entirely postally. Write to Mark Stretch at his new address in the hobby news section above and you can sub to his szine by sending me money through the International Subscription Exchange. As for Empire Builder, Keith Thomasson is running two Empire Builder games at present and is contemplating requests for opening another one (Keith can be found at: 14 Stepnells, Marsworth, Nr Tring, Herts, HP23 4NQ). Keith also runs Railway Rivals and its close cousin, Bus Boss, games and seems to me to be an excellent GM of these types of games. With the ISE and E-Mail, playing these games in Brit szines really is easy. More US people should try it and increase the present imbalance in the ISE funds... ;-) Pitt Crandlemire just started up doing it, join him won't you please?))

THE HERMIT: 1995 IH, Regular Diplomacy



Spring 1908

AUSTRIA (Ellis): NMR, NO STANDBY CALLED; a TYO h, a gre h (d r:ser,alb,otb),

a BOH h, a bud h (d ann), a TRI h, f ION h.

ENGLAND (Pollard): f TUN S AUSTRIAN f ion h.

FRANCE (Dwyer): f eng-NTH, a BEL-hol, f TYH S AUSTRIAN f ion, f NWG S f eng-nth,

f LON S f eng-nth, a edi-YOR, f BAR-stp(nc), a RUH-mun, a BUR S a ruh-mun.

GERMANY (Emmert): f hol-kie (d ann), a VIE-gal.

RUSSIA (Sherwood): a MOS-stp, a stp-FIN, a SIL S a mun, a GAL-vie,

f bla-CON, a ser-BUD, f den-SWE, a MUN h, a RUM S a ser-bud, f nth-bel (d r:edi,nwy,ska,den,hel,otb),

f aeg-GRE, a KIE S f hel-hol, f hel-HOL, a BUL S f aeg-gre, a BER S a mun, f eas-AEG.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Randy Ellis, #1 Flamingo Lodge Highway, Flamingo, FL 33034-6798 ($10)

ENGLAND: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190, ($5)

FRANCE: Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($4)

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of ITALY: Mark Kinney, 3613 Coronado Drive, Louisville, KY 40241, (502) 426-8165

alberich of

RUSSIA: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367 ($4)

ksher of or Keith_Sherwood of TURKEY: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($3) GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) A concession to Russia is proposed. Please vote with your Summer orders.

2) I decided not to call a standby for Randy, but I will require him to have fall orders on file by the summer deadline. If not, I will replace him. He told me in his last letter that he did not have a phone number, so I could not call him on NMR insurance. I'm sure he won't give up on me, right? Now, the question will be how it will affect the game. I leave that to all of you to figure out. Will Keith join the TAP club that most recently inducted Phil Reynolds as a member? Can Randy let that happen?? Again??? We'll see.


(BARNO to DWYER): This issue's word is ``imputrescible''. An NPR broadcast about an effort to exhume the remains of Meriwether Lewis included an expert saying that carbon traces on Lewis' skull are imputrescible. In other words, the processes of rotting don't destroy the evidence of whether he was shot in the back of the head (suggesting murder) or in the side of the head (confirming the traditionally accepted suicide story). ((We're assuming here that the ``easy'' out of looking where the hole was is not an option, right?))

(SKYWALKER-ALL): On Monday, I was accepted at the Colgate University. I applied early decision, which is binding. Therefore, I will be attending next fall.

(JIM-BOB to LUKE): Well, congratulations! I'm sure you'll be happy with that decision. Keep us posted on your progress. I moved this next item to this game, I'm sure Mike won't mind....

(MIKE to LUKE): I don't know about the players in the ``Hermit'' game, but I used your ``so many options'' comment as a basis to poke fun at Kent, not you. Congrats on your SAT improvement (despite our ``help''.)

(GERMANY to RUSSIA): Sondra and I just got back from Italy last night, and while I was there, I took care of your butt, but good.

(AMBASSADOR POLLARD to THE WORLD): I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!! The war continues but miracles still do happen. ((Randy has upped the ante on those miracles. You need a real big one right here.)) Recently I was contacted by members of the Liverpool Underground. They informed me that Mike Barno lives! A sketch was sent to me which proves beyond a doubt that he is alive. As you will notice, he seems quite vibrant. Someone had just given him a piece of holiday ham which he coveted quite highly. Thank God the bloodhounds hadn't caught him (though a small canine seems to have attached itself to him quite fondly!). Now. To what end has this all got to do with our present situation? ((I don't have the foggiest idea. I assume you're going to tell us....)) I say, have courage! ((Indeed, courage is it?)) Hope! ((Ah, it springs eternal!)) You see we are not lost yet. This war shall continue! Let Russia concede. Miracles do happen and perhaps another is around the corner.... Take care, all of you...

(SECRET PRESS FROM GERMANY to EVERYBODY BUT RUSSIA): Okay, here's what I arranged: I was reluctant to send the Mafia after him - they're so confounded thorough, and it's probably not a good idea for a government lawyer to hang out with those types anyway. So I went to an old lady who specializes in curses, and she laid a good one on him. Due to the current strength of the dollar against the lira, I was able to afford something called Il Maledizione Freddo, aka The Y1.998K Curse. What happens is that as soon as the calendar turns over to 1998, all of his units will freeze in place, and he won't be able to move them for love nor money. After that happens, we can snipe away at him at will. I figure we can have him down to about six units, tops, in a couple of years. Is this a great curse or what?) ((If all his units freeze in place right now, doesn't he win? I suppose you can dislodge some in the fall, but you might be too late with your curse....))

(RUSSIA-GERMANY): We will strike at you everywhere, with and without support, in an effort to wipe out your perfidious, cohesive influence!

(PRINCE OF WALES to OUR BELOVED MIKE BARNO): We of the Royal Family are relieved to see you alive. Her majesty is quite thrilled and is preparing a welcome home banquet even as I write. I do hope you will join the Royal Family in New Carthage for Christmas. It has been long since you have entertained us and we look forward to your witty charm and bravado! God be with you! (Don't worry, at the first opportunity we shall have you deloused and back to normal, with few side effects due to your bout of dysentery...)

(KEITH-RANDY): I had to buy all my Eddie Bauer Christmas gifts at full price this year. Such are the wages of stabbing...

(FROM RUSSIA): At this time of Christmas renewal, and the birth of promise with the new year, we would like to wish all nations peace on earth, and goodwill to all. We respectfully suggest Russian hegemony as the way to bring it about.

(SIT, SAT, SITTED): You're smarter than I; I managed only 1310. Now we'll see who's smarter in Scandinavia.

(KENT to THE WORLD): Hey. Try an Eggnog Latte. Delicious! Happy Holidays!!! ((Is that what you're serving at your party???))

(AN ANONYMOUS STORY - THAT COULD BE THE FUTURE): Randy Ellis has been in the service sector for 15 years and is finally sick of the stress of moving twice a year and waiting on snotty tourists. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Montana as far from humanity as possible. Randy sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. ((He isn't planning on mailing little bombs to people, is he? This is not a good idea.)) After six months or so of almost total isolation, he's finishing dinner when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is this big, bearded Montanan standing there. ``Name's Kent Pollard...your neighbor from four miles over the ridge...Having a party Saturday...Thought you'd like to come." ``Great", says Randy, ``after six months of this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Kent is leaving he stops, ``Gotta warn you there's gonna be some drinkin'." ``Not a problem... I can drink with the best of 'em." Again, as he starts to leave, Kent stops. ``More 'n likely gonna be some fightin', too." Damn, Randy thinks...tough crowd. ``Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again Kent turns from the door. ``I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too." ``Now that's not a problem" says Randy, ``remember, I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be the way, what should I wear?" Kent stops in the door again and says, ``Wear whatever you want, because it's just gonna be the two of us."



Winter 1908

ENGLAND (Lowrey): bld a lon; has a LON, f IRI, f BAR, f NTH, f SWE, a STP.

FRANCE (Rauterberg): bld a par; has a PAR, a BUR, f GOL, f WES, a PIE, a VEN.

GERMANY (Kent): has a BOH, a GAL, a LVN, a SIL, a WAR, f DEN, a MUN.

RUSSIA (Williams): rem a arm; has a SEV, a UKR. TURKEY (Sherwood): bld a con, a smy, a arm (imp, PLAYS ONE SHORT; has a CON, a SMY,

a ANK, a RUM, f BLA, a BUD, f ION, f ROM, a VIE, f TUN, a TRI, f NAP.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($8)

ttallman of

ENGLAND: Michael Lowrey, 4322 Water Oak Road, Charlotte, NC 28211

mlowrey of

ENGLAND EMERITUS: Tom Nash, 202 Settlers Road, St. Simons Island, GA 31522, (912) 634-1753 ($4)

75763.707 of CompuServe.COM

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($10)

prosit of

GERMANY: Doug Kent, 10214 Black Hickory Rd., Dallas, TX 75243 (214) 234-8386 ($5)

73567.1414 of CompuServe.COM ITALY: Simon Billenness, 452 Park Drive, Apt. 7, Boston, MA 02215, (617) 423-6655 ($5)

sbillenness of RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947

wllmsfmly of

RUSSIA EMERITUS: Ken Peel, 12041 Eaglewood Court, Silver Spring, MD 20902, (301) 949-4055 ($5)


TURKEY: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367

ksher of or Keith_Sherwood of

TURKEY EMERITUS: Pete Gaughan, 1236 Detroit Av. #7, Concord, CA 94520-3651, (510) 825-2165 ($4)

gaughan of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes (back from the tropopause): 1) The game specific standby list for this game includes Garret Schenck, Cathy Cunning Ozog, Mike Mills, Dick Martin, and Vince Lutterbie in reverse alphabetical order (note that Garret is presently missing, so I am running low on standbys here...). Mike Mills has been found, so tentatively he has been added to the list!! Guest press from potential standbys would be a ``good thing'' if they wanted to be chosen.

2) Anyone failing to submit press for two consecutive turns will be dropped from the game! Although press in this szine is generally black, I will make the exception here that I will say who has NPRed and is ``at risk'' for being dropped. Russia gets a reprieve as he is working on a ``special'' project for me which will become apparent shortly. Yes, Don, has put together the new demo game announced above. That is worth lots in my book.... but he had better get back to writing press now! I'll start counting everyone else too again then.

3) Note that Michael has moved. There will be a new phone number, but I don't have it yet.


(TURKEY): I think I got this Armenia thing wired after three times...

(CLASSIFIEDS): Wanted: Ally for the Turks. Little to no job security. Three previous position holders. Two expired, one on life support.

(MICHAEL-BOOB): So my press reminds you of your wife. OK, ah. Never mind, I don't want to know.

(MPL-BOOB): Any luck finding the Bee Charmers' disk? ((Nope, but quite frankly I haven't had the time to look. I will find it before completing my end of the year review.))

(PARIS to ROME-IN-EXILE): Um, my press to you last season turned out wrong.... My intent was to parody Sir Richard Burton's farewell to Oxford (ca. 1860), wherein HE was the ``prig and swell". In my version, I should have been the ``liar, prig and swell" eh?

Ghods: 1994 KF, Internet Judge Diplomacy

AUSTRIA: Josh Smith; ENGLAND: Nick Fitzpatrick; FRANCE: Jim Burgess; GERMANY: John Sloan; ITALY: Danny Loeb; RUSSIA: Rich Shipley; TURKEY: David Kovar.

GM: Mark Nelson, 1st Flr Frt Flat, 3 Kelso Road, Leeds, W. Riding LS2, UK; amt5man of

I've begun my write-up on Ghods too and will be publishing it in my landmark #200th issue. Mark Nelson, wake up!! The editor hereby declares that Mark will not receive the 200th issue or any subsequent issue unless his write-up on Ghods is included. I want to know the truth about my Italian gambit!! I've been ``trading'' with Mark for awhile but he's been too silent in 1997. We'll see if this gets a rise. ((I got a ``rise'' with this last issue, but it wasn't the rise I wanted....))

Ghods too (ghodstoo on the judge): 1997 KT, Internet Judge Diplomacy

AUSTRIA: Edi Birsan (edi of;

ENGLAND: Jamie Dreier (James_Dreier of;

FRANCE: John Barkdull (uejon of;

GERMANY: Pitt Crandlemire (pittc of;

ITALY: Cal White (diplomat of;

RUSSIA: Mark Fassio (jm2365 of, fazfam of;

TURKEY: Hohn Cho (hohncho of

GM: Jim Burgess (burgess of

USIN judge: judge of

((The main point of this game was to take some successful E-Mail players, some successful FTF tournament players, and some successful PBM players, put them in a game together using the Judge E-Mail technology and see what happens. The game has now ended in a France/England/Turkey DIAS draw. See some more of the endgame chatter below. Final End Game statements will appear in Issue #200 with my comments on the game. We are waiting patiently for the entire game history (including all of the negotiations) to be posted in The Diplomatic Pouch's demo game section. Keep a weather eye on that!))

Selected Broadcast Press (Endgame continued):

Ghodstoo EOG Statement (Russia). Happy Holidays, all! I realize I've been remiss (try ``completely absent, Faz") in discussing ghodstoo. No, I haven't been sulking in some corner, muttering evil incantations against the Bad People Who Hurt Me in that game. Quite honestly, I've done what all us busy people do from time to time - I ``triaged" my requirements: new course to teach in Jan came first, spending family time was next, basking in my solo win as Turkey in DIPLOMACY WORLD came next (I know, I'm a shameless, self-effacing hussy), and then other odds-and-ends. Writing e-mail strangers under the heading ``How I Blew a High-Viz Game Through Stupid Play" fell woefully short on my triage ``to do" list. No more, however! Goaded by the latest issue of the AP that Jim sent, I decided to at least give you my version, unplugged and uncut. Happy Holidays to you all, by the way!

DISCLAIMER: This is the Game According to Faz. Others will have different interpretations of events, and that's fine. But I don't try to lie in game statements, and this is what I honestly perceived. Of course, I *do* have 20/600 vision, so my perception could be a little astigmatic....

Cal's statement about me being nervous this game was on the money. OK, so I've played Dip by mail for 21 plus years, and won a few in my own right (and lost a few, too): that still didn't dispel the nervousness I felt at being with ``the masters." I felt like a kid on the Putt-Putt course, who'd been asked to join a par game with Arnie, Nicklaus, and Tiger Woods. Silly thoughts? Sure. But ``perception is reality," and I perceived myself outgunned, much like the Germans did in the early 1900s - I was wary of everyone.

The game opened with Edi proposing a Quadripartite AIER vs T and F. I agreed to it, despite a Hohn Cho call asking for a 1901 alliance. I had been pumped by Edi since Day 1 into believing that Hohn was a dangerous player that we should take out right away. (Uh, yeah...!) The idea of being in a wolfpack and stomping outsiders always seems good, so I agreed. I lied to Hohn about DMZs, figuring it was ok, if part of the plan to stay with Edi.

Funny thing, though: Edi never could be pinned down on anything after Winter 1900. He was, as I alluded to in press, the King of Teflon. I atribute that to a shrewd player playing a tough country among a field of sharks, but after a couple seasons, Edi's vacillation wore thin. He proposed hitting Germany, but wouldn't commit north. He would propose anti-Turk action, but wanted to do it ``his way." I got tired of what I peceived to be "11th hour telephone diplomacy" on his part, and Cal seemingly agreed that he was a threat. (I would hope Cal's comment about ``Mark's style of play" doesn't mean he allowed himself to be swept willy-nilly into something he was totally against?? If so, then heck, I must be a better diplomat than I thought! grin)

Anyway, I contacted Hohn in W'01(?) - truly repentant at this stage - and lined up what I thought would be a good deal about hitting Edi. Hohn at this stage began to lay the Heavy Guilt Trip thing on me (ok, so I lied first; sue me), and we exchanged some, shall we say, interesting letters. He apparently signed onto the anti-Aus plan, but it became clear that Edi and he were in cahoots; I think Hohn at one point admitted to me that he and Edi had planned some bad ju-ju against me. The results were, as expected, nasty: they began a United Front which rolled my big behind all the way to my early doom.

One point I'd like to clarify from England's press, though: yes, Jamie got 'shafted' when I took Norway (at Edi's insistence, by the way). At the time, though, I kind of needed it against the enemy now beating me around the head and shoulders. In retrospect, it was dumb to anger England, but at the time I was scrambling to save my bacon. However, I don't see why people accuse me of being a trigger-happy war maniac, starting a ``three-front war." Hitting Hohn with Edi was all I ever wanted to do. As far as I was concerned, that was my only ``front." When Edi didn't seem all that sincere, I wanted to drop the war vs Turkey, get Cal involved, and hit Austria instead. Hitting Austria was *supposed to be* in cahoots with Hohn, and would've *still* been a ``one-front war." The fact that they teamed up on me gave me two fronts I didn't want! The Norway thing was never a ``front" to attack England. If it was, I would've joined Germany and pressed home attacks vs Gentle King Jamie. So if people perceived me as ``starting a war" up there over Nwy, it was not deliberate on my part. Believe me when I say I didn't want more than one enemy! I mean, I may have played a poor game, but I'm not THAT dumb.

Jim-Bob can, I think, cull through my old e-mails and my game commentaries (sent at the end of each turn) and paint a pretty believeable picture of a guy who wanted anti-T with A, then got nailed by A/T. Follow this with a desire for German support to let me build an anti-A/T stalemate line (StP/Fin/Nwy) and be a satellite of PITTsburgh, and what happens? Yup; stabbed again. Now, let's be realistic: turn off the violins playing pitiful tunes about poor ol' Faz. I did NOT play my best game, but quite honestly, I didn't play my worst, either. I was a good ally toward Cal, I think, helping him get centers and always supporting him, even to my detriment. And I'd like to think I had a part in the F/E rapproachment toward cooperation. Yes? No? Well, that's my view, anyway. ((It certainly was your consistent view throughout those statements.))

My death was equally controversial, I guess, what with self-immolating in BOH. At the time, there was a 50-50 chance of trying for MUN and staying alive (although possibly not helping France) or dying in BOH and definitely helping France. And while I love Dip as much as the next shmoe, I just felt it was ``time to go" in the game. At best I'd be a 1-center supporting actor in a cast of great names, and bench-warming was never my style. As the German phrase (especially popular in 1945) says, ``Better an end in horror, than a horror without end." If that style of play offended the more doctrinaire on the board, I will use a Hohn favorite of mine ``-shrug-" and grant you your views. Should we (F/R) have done the MUN move? In retrospect, I probably should've gone for MUN. But hindsight is always 20-20, and the end was just as satisfying: Edi dead; Pitt dying; friends E and F part of the win...and Hohn stalemated and prevented from the solo. (Hey, I made a funny: Hohn Solo!) ((Wow, I can't believe it!!))

I did indeed enjoy this game. It was my first try at e-mail gaming, although, truth be told, I like snail mail and PBM much better - different breed of player (and pace of life) in that forum, I perceive. I have the highest regards for my fellow boardsmen, and ``meeting" King Jamie and King Jean was fun, as well as actually communicating (kind of) with Hohn, Edi and Pitt. Cal was in an unenviable position, and I always considered him my one `true ally.' Poor guy; look where *that* got him! ((grin)) I also hope the readers enjoyed my press. There are many games where I talk better than I play - this was probably one of them!

Good gaming to you all, and take this for what it's worth. Please, no six-page counter-diatribes over quibbling points. The game is dead; long live the game. Now, those of you who want to see a game - get psyched for the Return of The Magnificent Seven, or whatever we're calling it; right Jim-Bob?

Take care, and God bless. There's a chance I'll be at DixieCon in May. If so, watch your backs!


FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE: 1995 W, Regular Diplomacy



01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10
AUSTRIA (Jonas Johnson)  4  5  4  4 *5  3  2  1  1   0
Eliminated Winter 1910
ENGLAND (John Schultz)  4  4  3  0 - - - - -  -
Eliminated Winter 1904
FRANCE (Michael Pustilnik)  5  6  6  8  9  8  9 10 11 !14
Draw Spring 1911
GERMANY (Hank Alme)  5  5  6  6  5  5  3  2  1   0
Eliminated Winter 1910
ITALY (Don Williams)  4  4  5  6  5  7  8  7  8  10
Draw Spring 1911
RUSSIA (Ed Rothenheber)  4  6  8  8  8 11 12 14 13  10
Survived Spring 1911
TURKEY (David Partridge)  4  3  2  2  2  0 - - -  -
Eliminated Winter 1906

* = Played one short

! = Played two short

Four (!) neutrals in 1901

One (!) neutral in 1902

GM: Jim Burgess, The Abyssinian Prince to completion.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Jonas Johnson, 3649 SE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97202, (503) 238-4430 ($3) EcidLor of ENGLAND: John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041.

FRANCE: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651 ($8)

GERMANY: Hank Alme, 5157 Norma Way #217, Livermore, CA 94550, (510) 606-7265 ($3)

almehj of

ITALY: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947 ($3)

dwilliams of

RUSSIA: Ed Rothenheber, 11757 Lone Tree Court, Columbia, MD 21044, (410) 740-7269 ($1)

Rothenheber_Ed of

TURKEY: David Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722, (603) 882-3523 ($4)

rebhuhn of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Congratulations to Michael and Don! See the endgame stats; how about some endgame statements now? Jonas, John, Hank, and David are most definitely included in the invitation.

Endgame and Other Assorted Comments

Rich Goranson contributes the following quote (which fits this game well...): ``Pawtucket is a much bigger city on the way up than it is on the way down." - Glenn Hoffman, on the Red Sox sending him down to AAA.

Someone who wishes to remain anonymous contributes this twist on an old classic: ``Why did the chicken cross the road? Nietzsche replies: `Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.' ''

(JOHN BOY THE SILVER TOADY - DAF): Thank you! You've received a card by now. I'll grovel at your feet later.

(ENDGAME STATEMENT FOR ENGLAND): What can I say? I was squashed like a bug. I'm terrible at remembering strategies. I'm a live for the moment kind of guy. I just wish there were more press. ((So did I! There was a fair bit of negotiating/communicating going on; however, it didn't translate into press. Quite a shame.)) But I understand the death of press. It's part of the e-mail thing, ain't it? ((Well, that's part of it. There are multiple factors and many e-mail stalwarts (like myself) feel very strongly that multiple media and multiple communication methods are the best and hoped for future. Personally, I hope handwritten letters never completely die. Let's keep up with the press... don't let it disappear.)) I just don't understand it. Progress passing me by. I'm young to the hobby - only eleven years - but I remember when I'd get six or seven letters a month for every game and print pages of press. I miss it. You got to know people. That's more important than the game. Ah well - at any rate - good job Don and Mike. The board was pretty to watch. ((It actually was a seriously wild board. It kept me entertained throughout.)) And it was good to be in a game with you guys again. You, too, Jonas and David. And good to meet Hank and Ed.

COVINGTON CROSS: 1993 AQ, Regular Diplomacy



Spring 1915

FRANCE (Rauterberg): f mar-SPA(SC), f bre-ENG, f eng-NTH, a pic-BEL, a BUR-mun,

a RUH-kie, f SWE-den, a HOL S a ruh-kie, a PIE-tyo, a EDI h, f ADR-tri,

a VEN S a pie-tyo, f ION h, f APU S f ion, f NWY S f eng-nth, f TYH S f ion. GERMANY (Zarr): a MUN S a kie, a SIL S a mun, a TYO S TURKISH a tri-ven,

a BER S a kie, a KIE S a mun, a VIE S a tyo, a fin-STP, f DEN-nth.

TURKEY (Johnson): f con-AEG, a TRI-ven, a sev-MOS, f EAS S f con-aeg, a BUD S a ser-tri,

a rum-GAL, a SER-tri, a BUL h, f ALB-ion, f GRE S f alb-ion.

Addresses of the Participants

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Drive, Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339

prosit of

GERMANY: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

RUSSIA: Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02192 ($5)

72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

TURKEY: Stan Johnson, 1254 East Broadway Road #56, Mesa, AZ 85204, (602) 668-1105

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) If I have Fall orders from everyone in time with the Summer deadline, I'll run it then in the interest of speeding up the game. If you send orders early and WANT the delay, please note it on your orders.


(GER-FRA): Sounds like sour grapes to me. I don't blame you for going for the win, but you should not blame me for helping Turkey since you decided to stab me in the back. I am sending him copies of all my orders so that we can coordinate our movements to our maximum advantage. It is not important to me if I win, but it is important that you lose!

COLUMBUS CHILL: 1993 J, Regular Diplomacy


Summer 1917

AUSTRIA (Davis): has a BUD.

FRANCE (Zarr): has a BUR, a GAS, f BRE, a MAR,

a POR, f SPA(NC), f MID, f ENG.

GERMANY (Jones): has a GAL, a MOS, a VIE, a WAR, a PRU,

a TYO, a BEL, a MUN, a UKR, f DEN, f NWY.

TURKEY (Weiss): has a BUL, f ALB, f BLA, a RUM, a VEN, a TRI,

a SER, f GOL, a SEV, f WES, f NAF, f PIE, f ADR.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Rick Davis, 2009 Bodega Avenue, Petaluma, CA 94952, (707) 773-1044

redavis914 of FRANCE: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

GERMANY: Charles Jones, 1722 Quail Circle, Corona, CA 91720-4155, (909) 735-8981

RUSSIA: Eric Schlegel, 314 Fords Lane, Aberdeen, MD 21001, (410) 272-3314

TURKEY: Richard Weiss, 195A Estralita Street, Tumon Heights, Guam 96911, (671) 647-3478

rcw of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The France/Germany draw has been rejected. The FG is reproposed along with an FGT and the DIAS FGAT. Please vote with your Fall orders; if you fail to vote, none of the three draws can pass.


(GERMANY >> > TURKEY): Well, here we are at another stalemate. This reminds me of several real time years ago when you and Austria were allied and I watched as you slowly ate Austria. It is my guess that you were the one voting against the draws. I know that Harold wasn't. Harold may be an enigma to you, but I believe that I know him well enough to know that he was voting for the draws. To give you credit Austria may have been voting against the draws. So, just to satisfy my curiosity, were you voting against the draws?

(TURKEY-BOOB): Would you briefly reiterate your policy on stalemates and draws?

(BOOB to TURKEY [AND EVERYONE ELSE]): I should call this policy my GELP policy for reasons now known only to a select few.... no, I won't explain that. Basically, the idea is to avoid ending a game before its time at almost any cost. Draw proposals can be formed in any way that is imaginable to the players (it is even legal to include eliminated players in proposals). In order for a proposal to pass, it must be approved by ALL players owning supply centers in the SAME season. Proposals can only be proposed for consideration in the immediately following season, although ``perpetual'' proposals are possible if requested with a good reason. Votes can be ``perpetual'' only on specific proposals, not as a blanket (e.g. ``I vote yes in perpetuity to any proposal'' is technically illegal) since obviously they could lead to unintended ``weird'' draws. The default vote is a perpetual no on all proposals, effectively vetoing any draw if a player chooses not to vote. Draws do NOT have to be DIAS. ALL votes and proposals are anonymous. Since press is black, anything said in the press with respect to draw votes and proposals could be written by anyone and need not represent the truth. The only thing that changes in stalemates (with judgment of the GM and at least two turns forewarning) is that the default vote for players who choose not to vote turns to a ``yes" for DIAS and a ``yes" for any draw that includes them. Players can continue to vote ``no'' and keep a game going as long as they like, although the GM reserves the right to ``jawbone'' any players voting no and not at least writing amusing press to keep the game ``going'' in the most important sense to me. This game has not yet approached this change in the default vote. In general, I am not inclined to judge any four player situation as a stalemate and I believe that my rule encourages DIAS/win only styles of play without the ``artificial'' constrictions of house rules like the ones you once used. Consensus can end the game at any time, yet the standards for consensus are high. I guess that wasn't brief.... we'll have no silence here!

(FRA-GER): Do not confuse my silence with danger. My work load at the college this semester is the equivalent of teaching eight three-credit courses. Given that a significant percentage of my work is in industry doing consulting, I have almost no homelife either! So it is not surprising that I send very few letters. I will continue to hold in place and prevent anyone from moving into the Atlantic. I have sealed up the stalemate line, and will hold forever. I still think this game is a waste of time, but hey, who am I to complain? I will move any way you need in order to support your advance. Just let me know what you want me to do, and I will do it.

(GERMANY >> > FRANCE): Well, it looks like it's down to the three of us. What do you want me to do next? Can you slip into the Med?

(RICHARD-MIKE): Thank you for dropping in on the game. I've appreciated your comments. I hope you have a wondrous white Holiday Season. If you are on email, how about sending me your edress? ((He is not.... I salute his independence.))

(FRA-EUR): I am proposing a F/G/T. Please, please, please vote for it so we can end this game!

(TURKEY-BOARD): I have voted for a DIAS. We will have a stalemate unless France moves on me or Germany moves on France. I think either of these are preferable to a draw. I am supporting Austria and only voting for the draw if he is in it, otherwise, Jim-Bob will tell us how he declares a game stalemated - and I ain't doing anything to get there. I still think a three player hard fought game to the end would be fun. Even the two of you agreeing on how to get to an 17-17 and sticking to your plan would be better than this. But, if you insist, let's go back to the 4-way that y'all wanted so desperately before. ((I refuse to categorically define what I see as a stalemate, except to say you guys ain't there yet.))

(GERMANY >> > JIM-BOB): So, I was wondering? If Turkey and Austria forget to vote and France and I do vote for the F/G draw does it pass? ((No way! See above.)) A second question? Will you let this game go on for a long, long time if we can't agree on a draw? ((Again, see above. And there's more press in this game now than there was when it was ``moving''. Why would I try to stop it now?? You guys work it out.))

(TURKEY-CHARLES): I appreciate your humor and fun in this game. In a similar responsive vein I am sending quotes from Vol 28, No. 320, Pacific Daily News, Agana Guam, December 18, 1997. Peculiar, but in France's efforts to get this game over with, he snuck unto Guam to try to coerce me to vote for the draw. He could not find my house, though, and no taxi driver could help him, so rather like Santa Claus, he made many stops. Unfortunately, he got here right at the same time as PAKA (our recent supertyphoon with the fastest recorded winds in history, 236 mph - aren't we metric, Booby?) ((Perhaps.... but you were using a type of anenometer known not to be that accurate at high wind speeds. Informed speculation over this way believes that once the anenometer is tested in a wind tunnel, Mount Washington in New Hampshire will be left with its 231 mph official record intact. And what's wrong with mph?? The US has not gone into metric conversion, aren't you still part of us... or is that US.... hyork, hyork, hyork.)) and his name appeared in quite a few of the stories regarding the storm. These are all direct quotes from the paper:

``Maina resident Harold Zarr salvages her ((sic)) Christmas tree yesterday from the wreckage of his home, which was destroyed by Supertyphoon Paka. Zarr, his four children ages 1 to 14, are now living with relatives until he can make other arrangements. ``As thousands of Guam families ventured out yesterday to find their homes had been destroyed by Supertyphoon Paka, Governor Mike Barno was asking the country's president to declare Guam a federal disaster area. ``Harold Zarr was knocked unconscious escaping the flying roof of his house, and then cut his foot. ``One boat owner was injured and several boats were lost Tuesday during Supertyphoon Paka's onslaught. About midnight, Harold Zarr was tying extra mooring lines in the cockpit of his 45-foot sailboat in the harbor of Refuge in Piti. A winch carrying the strain of several mooring ropes exploded and struck Zarr in the lower back, said Charles Jones, owner of another boat moored in Piti. `He was in so much pain we couldn't even move him if we wanted to,' Jones said. `We had to wait eight hour until morning anyway, when the storm let up enough for us to get him ashore to an ambulance.' Zarr was admitted to Guam Memorial Hospital with a bruised kidney and several broken ribs. Earlier, Mr. Zarr had this experience, `I went up on the deck to check the lines in my Speedos and the wind literally ripped them off me. How much windage does a pair of Speedos have?' Zarr asked." (Perhaps JimBoob will have a new entrant into the can you find this Dip character contest, 25 pounds to the person who finds Harold's Speedos? How about it Jim?) ((Hey, sure, I'm game!))

``Among the thousands who find themselves homeless in the aftermath of Supertyphoon Paka, several think they were lucky to survive with nothing more than the shirts on their backs (not to mention Speedos still on). Mrs. Zarr said she's never been without a home and doesn't know the first thing about where to go for help. Mrs. Zarr was reluctant to see the extent of damage to what had been her wooden Maina house yesterday, because she knew it would be bad. My 1-year old baby, Harold, looked at what used to be our home and said `house' Mrs. Zarr said. `I almost cried' she said. ``Businessman Harold Zarr was wringing clothes and hanging them to dry yesterday outside her ((sic)) Agana store, which lost about 75 percent of its merchandise to rain and wind. `My panties, my bras are all over the place,' Zarr said. A clothes rack carrying 300 bras flew out a broken front window. `People are finding my bras all the way to the Bank of Hawaii,' Zarr said."

SUFFREN SUCCOTASH: 1993 AI, Regular Diplomacy



Spring 1911

AUSTRIA (Pustilnik): a SER h.

ENGLAND (Hoffman): a STP S a lvn, a LVN S a stp, f iri-lvp (d ann), f nth-LON,

f bal S a lvn (d r:den,swe,gob,pru,otb), f nwg-NAO.

FRANCE (James): f bre-ENG, a par-BUR, f MID S f eng-iri, f eng-IRI, a WAL-lvp,

a ven-TRI, f BUL(SC) S f aeg-con, f SMY S f aeg-con, f ion-TYH, a tri-BUD,

a arm-ank (d r:sev,otb), a VIE S a tri-bud, f aeg-CON. GERMANY (Emmert): f KIE S f ber-bal, a mun-RUH, f den-NTH, f ber-BAL, a BEL h,

a WAR S a mos, a UKR h, a bud S a rum-ser (d r:gal,otb), a MOS h, a RUM-ser.

RUSSIA (Schultz): a ANK S a syr-arm, a syr-ARM.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651

ENGLAND: Karl Hoffman, 395 Imperial Way #220, Daly City, CA 94015, (415) 991-2394

KarlHoffmn of

FRANCE: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956

dkbn of

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of ITALY: Dan Gorham, PO Box 279, Belmopan, Belize, CENTRAL AMERICA

Danielg of RUSSIA: John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041 TURKEY: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

GM EMERITUS: Garret Schenck, now lost, HELP!

GSchenck39 of - CANCELLED!

Game Notes:

1) The FG draw has been rejected and reproposed. Please vote with your Summer orders. As usual, failure to vote vetoes the proposal.


(VIRGINIA BEACH to PROVIDENCE): Okay, no more Mr. Nice Lawyer. From now on, if you do anything to displease me (and this includes adjudications that don't come out the way I want), ((Does this one count??)) I will nuke you in a way that nobody in Hillary has been able to do. I can wipe out your sub list in a matter of three, maybe four months. My plan is to start sending in more kid pictures, disguised as press. That's sure to drive everyone away. Just think: No more subbers; no more games; no more inane press; no more deadlines; no more . . . wait, this is probably starting to sound pretty good to you. Okay, forget I mentioned it. ((Yeah, it does, but please, please, no more baby pictures...))

(BOOB to EMMERT): Kim Head (famous British lesbian szine editor) reports that ``emmett'' is a Cornish word meaning ``ant'' ((Check out that one too, Luke!)) which is only one letter different from your last name. Just think, if your parents had been poor spellers, you could have been an ant! A propos ((And that one too, Luke, with a foreign connection...)) to your recent Italian trip, Brits use the term ``emmett'' derogatorily to describe insignificant, snotty (American?) tourists. Allow me to take this opportunity to be nearly completely self-referential now and expand on my dedication of this issue to Louise Auty. I (just barely) forgive Louise for being a Voyager fan, but I won't forgive her for missing an issue of her subszine in Kim's Life's Rich Pageant: Skin of Evil. Then when she returned she complained that none of us noticed? Hey, we noticed, but we just feared the answer might be that you were folding. I'm glad you're back, Louise! I enjoyed the movie reviews, although I liked Men in Black a whole lot more than you did.

(PATHETIC ENGLAND - TURKEY): Who the hell are you? (ENGLAND - GERMANY): It's hard for me to remember what I was thinking when I wrote those orders (Fall 1910) that you were wondering about. I guess I was just trying to be creatively desperate and unpredictable. I had absolutely no intention of making it easy for you!

(RUSSIA-FRANCE/GERMANY): I don't care about survival. I want to play the game. You have no idea how slippery I can be or the extent to which I'll go to save one dot for just one more year. I hope these moves prove my point. Else, I'm dead already. (FRANCE to (EX) TURKEY): No wimping out here. (JOHN BOY-BOOB): Tell 'em who they're messin' with here. I don't think they understand. ((I think I'll let Emmert stick his foot in his mouth again and allow you to bask in the limelight of your successful predictions as compared to his.))

(GERMANY to ERSTWHILE TURKEY): My, my, are we still attempting to foment discord post mortem? I've been wrong on more important stuff than this before, but I foresee an F/G draw here. (JAMES to EMMERT): Sorry, buddy - I've never had a stronger ally, but when you get right down to it this is what Dip is all about. I can't pass up the opportunity that has been placed before me. I hope to gain both a friend and a victory. My belief is that my position is simply stronger than yours. (FRANCE to GM): Let me guess - you have seen so many F-G stabs that it is too boring to even mention. This is the most unoriginal play that you have ever witnessed in any game ever. ((Oh, no, John Schultz said it best up in the Friedrich Nietzsche game this issue, but this game is all about the people. Since each game has different people and different situations, none of them are boring. Without smirking, I also will just say, I guess neither the three way draw nor the two way draw were as inevitable as some claimed that they once were.))

(FRANCE to AUSTRIA): Surprise! You are still alive. I bet you never figured that you would wake up this morning still breathing. Who knows, you might even survive the game if I can get to 18 fast enough. (PARIS to LONDON): You deserve to survive and maybe even grow. Look around you. In the coming race to 18, my dots can come from Germany; Germany's will come from you. I don't need anymore in your homeland.

(RUSSIA-FRANCE): It's a gamble - but if you didn't play just right, and Germany moves to Sevastopol, and your army is annihilated - I could last one more year. Go for the SOLO!!!

(FRANCE to RUSSIA): You guessed right. We only needed one more turn to turn on each other. You might survive yet. (STEVE to JOHN): Nice disband. Arrividerci.

(BOOB to JOHN BOY): well, we shall see about that, won't we? Which one would you bet on??

(JOHN BOY - BOOB): I love this stuff. You wouldn't think a guy would get this big a kick out of nipping at the big guys' heels. ((Why not?))

Personal Note to You:

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