November 10, 1997 3

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287 Accessible through Internet at burgess of; FAX to (401) 277-9904

My szine life has been a fiasco in the last few weeks. The non-players got the last issue EXTREMELY late. Causes? Virtually every piece of computer hardware I touched for a week broke. And this was on FOUR, count 'em FOUR, different systems. The only system which had no problems at all was this old 386 machine I'm typing on right this instant, which also has the entire backup record of every issue of this szine. Miraculously, I had everything I needed when I needed it backed up so I lost nothing, except loads of time. Thus, this issue is late a week, belying the Williams claim that I am some kind of turbophreak. The deadlines have been moved back a week and will put the 199 deadline a bit close to Christmas. Watch out for that one.

Check out TWO issues of Octopus' Garden in the centerfold of the szine. I forgot to include #17 in the last issue - mega-apologies to Peter Sullivan - but now we're caught up. Note that Pete is the person to ask if you're interested in choo-choo games.

The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada. You can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and new game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $15.00 ($10.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). The current game opening for Colonial Diplomacy will start as soon as I get money from seven players since Nekayah has now ended. For more on this, see below. Also note that more results for the demo game are included. Remember that music comments and reviews are scattered through the game press at times.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!! Note that everything has been moved to the site. See David's letter below. The Cal Tech ftp site is being mirrored on the machine as well. Issues of The Abyssinian Prince #131 to the present are available via anonymous FTP from in the pub/diplomacy/Zines/TAP directory in compressed postscript format. The gracious assistance of Kevin Roust is most appreciated in keeping up this site. The files begin and go sequentially from there. Since it's UNIX based, all of those upper and lower cases are important. If anyone wants help from me on doing this, they only have to ask and I can help you determine if you have access to FTP which stands for File Transfer Protocol and can handle postscript files. The Caltech site is at:

or check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch at its brand new address with all of the information you would need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at:

In addition, through Jamie McQuinn's portion of the Pouch, or directly through:

you can access the mirror site to Caltech and get to the szine that way.

In a relatively NEW development, the szine also is available as a PDF file, readable with Adobe Acrobat's free reader. If you already have Adobe's reader on your computer, you can E-Mail me for a copy. I am still in test mode with this.... you pretty much have to print the szine to look at it as it just won't clear up on the screen. Any of you who have NOT E-Mailed me about this test can still do so. After I test this for a bit, I will have TWO E-Mail subscription lists so you can choose PDF file, TeX source file, or both at your leisure.


In a late flash, Keith Sherwood wins this contest and officially ``finds'' Scott Hanson. Of course, I practically had to badger him into doing it. For Internet searchers, this literally was the easiest search we've had. Scott has his own home page that any Internet search engine will find for you. More on this in Scott's letters below. I will announce another ``mark'' in Issue #200. I'm always taking suggestions. While we're waiting, find some of these guys below! I really want someone to track down Kevin Tighe, for whom we started this contest in the first place. C'mon, it can't be that hard. You only have to bother the other 20 Kevin Tighe's for a few minutes until you find the right one. Do it nicely and they won't mind. If you don't want to mention Diplomacy, just mention old pals like Mark Luedi who I'm sure the right Kevin would never forget. Remember, all those old farts like Mark still get the szine.

This is now going to be a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Mike Mills or Garret Schenck or Jerry Lucas is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Bid on PDORA items, subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for. This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. For Scott Hanson you need to get him to write me a MUSIC letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.

Dear Mr. Hanson (do you still go by Little Scottie as Kathy Byrne Caruso used to call you?)

Scott Hanson (Wed, 05 Nov 1997 20:23:23)

Hey - that's -MR.- Little Scottie to you! (Actually, Kathy's name for me (at least the one she used publically) was Phydoux.) ((Kathy will be happy to know you are found, by the way. Your bonus for being found is a complementary lifetime subscription to my Diplomacy szine (even being in a foreign land). The person who found you gets $50 to be spent on hobby related activities (e.g. szine subs, game starts, trips to cons, etc.). You also are not officially "found" until you write me a letter for print. Are you saying who found you? You can negotiate with that person for anything you want.... this is mega-Diplomacy after all.))

Since I manage two Internet domains, finding me shouldn't have been particularly difficult. Simply type `whois Scott Hanson' at your favorite (connected) Unix prompt. Or do a search for ``Scott and Frauke" at Yahoo. Or just point your web browser at I'm not sure if I should let this person have any credit or not. After all, $50 is nearly DM 100, even if I don't play Diplomacy anymore... I should really keep it for myself.

Well, the Bcc header in E-mail was designed for situations like this. We'll see what (s)he has to say. BTW, Frauke just got home from work and thought this whole story was ``total beschuert" (OK, we speak German at home now... that means totally crazy. But even she remembered the name Jim-Bob Burgess.

((The hobby is small and quiet these days, although much more Internet oriented.)) That's good. The things I hated most about publishing a zine were printing and postage costs.

Scott, shanson of

Scott Hanson (Date: Sat, 08 Nov 1997 06:45:14)

This is an official I've-been-found letter. I do solemnly swear that I, Scott Hanson, former member and publisher of the PBM Diplomacy hobby, was convinced to write this letter after being contacted by Keith Sherwood. Keith used a very ingenious method to arouse my curiosity. He sent me a totally blank E-mail message. There wasn't even a name in the From: line, just the address < ksher of > . Since it was the weekend and my curiosity was aroused, I searched the Internet and found the E-mail address had the name `Kristi Sherwood' in San Diego. I sent a careful reply saying that I had received a blank message and that I used to know a K. Sherwood in San Diego. Only then did Keith send me an intelligible message.

A short history of the past 10 years: after a short hiatus in Phoenix (our last hobby contact was a visit with Eric and Cathy Ozog), Frauke and I came to Germany in 1990. She's with McDonald's Deutschland as operations manager for northern Germany and is based in Hamburg. I'm a typesetter/web janitor/Mac systems plumber for a small science publisher. We're in our mid 30s, been married 14 years now, no kids, same 3 cats as we had in the States, and we built a house last year. ((Yeah, I saw that you did that on your Web page.)) We have a picture of it at

Keith gave me an ftp address ( for TAP, but the most recent issue there was 186. ((Partly for production problems and time lazyness on my end, I decided not to update the ftp site until I heard from someone that it actually was being accessed. You have given me exactly the reason to have everything up. I'll get caught up momentarily.)) I was pleasantly surprised to see several names there I recognized. Are more recent issues available someplace else?

Best wishes, Scott Hanson, shanson of, Johmsweg 9a, D-21266 Jesteburg, Germany

Scott Hanson (Sat, 08 Nov 1997 19:17:17)

I was finally able to find a copy of the current TAP (on Peter Sullivan's web pages, then I had to compile the TeX source myself), and I see that I have to write a music letter in order to save the szine from folding. Fine. Here it is. ((I've spared everyone the German - see the translation one letter down.... it's good to know that Peter is keeping up the latest TeX source code. I'm working on these formatting problems.))

-OK, there's my music message. If you tell me, Jim-Bob, how you were able to find me (and why you bothered), I'll send the English translation. But if you don't, you still have to give Keith his reward, and you're not allowed to fold the szine with issue 200!

Scott, shanson of

((You guys don't get to hear my answer (partly because I blew it away by accident. The key to it was that I took over the music list tradition in the hobby from Scott when he folded Irksome and he had a RESPONSIBILITY to bring us up to date on what HE had been listening to.))

Scott Hanson (Date: Sun, 09 Nov 1997 14:01:55)


Thanks for the answer. After having spent 2 weeks trying to figure out what was going on with the search, and several days trying to find a recent issue, I wasn't real happy to see that you knew where I was the entire time. If you wanted a letter from me, you could have just asked. Oh well. ((I had already decided that you were going to be the subject of the search regardless of how easy you were going to be to find. After starting the search, I was worried when nothing happened (again) right away and so one night I did a quick search and quite frankly was shocked at how easy it was. Then once I found you I didn't want to close down the contest. I wanted someone who KNEW you to find you, who knew that using Frauke's name in a search engine along with yours was bound to get a unique hit. Keith was that person. So he wins and I feel very happy about it.))

Why bother with postscript/pdf for the internet archives? You use such a spartan format, it would seem that HTML would be the least complicated for everyone. I've been playing this morning with translating the TeX file I downloaded to HTML, and except for the tables the results are pretty good. ((Care to let me know how to do it? I got lost the first time I tried. I was going to check out a web site that a Professor at Yale recommended to me, but if you can give me a hint, I'd appreciate it.)) (Easier than translating from Quark XPress to HTML, which I have to do at work....)

Gotta go... Scott

Translation follows (omitting the first 2 paragraphs of ranting and raving, additional comments are in parentheses) ((I also had a translation problem with a couple of the German words. TeX of course can make any of them, but they didn't translate through E-Mail to my system properly. I've made some guesses, which are probably close, but wrong. Sorry about that.))

- - - - - -

The music business is dead these days, isn't it? I mean, the record companies don't have any big successes anymore, not compared to the '70s and '80s. (I have a theory as to why... the fragmentation of the radio market in the US has led to strict definitions of genres. New music that doesn't fit into a genre doesn't get marketed, and the old genres become moribund.) Take big concerts, as an example. Is there a band that was founded after 1980 that can fill stadiums today? REM was founded in 1980... I just checked. (And who does fill the stadiums? Around here over the past few years, Michael Jackson, Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones, Meat Loaf, Prince, Kiss, Tina Turner, U2, REM... all shades of Rip Van Winkle!)

The music that interests me most these days is mostly in German (pop music here is about 80% English / 20% German). I'm sure that's because I'm living here now (and I think pop is a good mirror of society). `Die Krzte' and `Die Toten Hosen' (two old punk bands who still put albums in the Top 10) are among my favorites, but new German hip hop is also good... starting with `Die Fantaschtischen Vier', and newer bands like `Fettes Brot', `Cappucino', `Fruendeskreis', Sabrina Setlur. I am familiar with most of these only from the radio, but the last CD that I bought was the latest from `Tic Tac Toe'... OK, so they are a tenny band, but their single ``Warum'' (``Why'', the true story of a school friend of one of the singers who slipped into drugs, prostitution, and finally suicide) is simply excellent. ``Mr. Wichtig'' isn't bad either. (I should also mention `Rammstein', a sort of techno meets Judas Priest.)

Frauke doesn't especially like German music, but her last CD came accidentally from Germany. `Cultured Pearls' come from Hannover, as far as I can tell, and have a single ``Sugar Sugar Honey"... super soul!

- - -

Otherwise, I'm more interested in pop than serious music these days, at least in the pop that dares to experiment. Of course, 90% of everything is crap, but that leaves the 10% that isn't crap. Now pop is a craft (not an art), and some of the recent well-crafted singles that come to mind right now are ``Fantasy'' by Mariah Carey, ``Pray'' by DJ Bobo, ``Ready or Not'' by The Fugees, ``Fire by Scooter, Wannabe'' by The Spice Girls (but everything else they've done is crap :). Looking at the latest charts, the only single that sounds interesting is ``Take It To The Limit'' by Mr. President.

The band Nena broke up shortly after their success in the mid 80's. The singer Nena was cheated by her managers, lost everything, but just this year did a comeback album and small tour. I haven't bothered to check it out (although someone this year did a techno remake of ``Nur Getrumt'').

Ska revival... what's that?

Scott, shanson of

((Ah, so that hasn't made it over to Germany yet? You remember the ska bands of the early 80's like the Specials, don't you? Well, there is a BIG revival that this szine started to talk about two years ago and really hit the charts this year. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones have made it the biggest, but the smaller bands are still the best. Brad Wilson is writing a ``ska revival'' story for his szine and I don't want to trump him. I'll send you a copy when I get it. Now, let's hear from the winner....))

Keith Sherwood (Sun, 09 Nov 1997 20:14:31 -0800)

Thanks for keeping me on the CC list. Very interesting listening to all this. Scott, with his 7 letters in 4 days, is about the most animated dead wood I've ever seen. (Oops, sorry, Scott is (lost) old fart; I am dead wood. Have I sent you my ``Best Music of '95" List yet Jim?) ((No, you haven't..... I'm STILL waiting!! You had better weigh in this year.))

Frauke Peterson & Scott Hanson was definitely the key search on Yahoo. Their home page was a direct hit. Remind me to sell my stock in Excite, which was a definite miss.

The only CDs I have bought lately (and they are few and far between) are Ella Fitzgerald, Dinah Washington, and Billie Holiday. Obviously, I have discovered classic female Jazz. And the stuff I enjoy most on the radio now is contemporary (and young) females: Alanis, Feona Apple, Sheryl Crow, etc. Independent, Gen X women rock! And to admit just how far into middle age I have degenerated, I will even admit to liking VH1 Popup video (although the theme song makes me long for the Buggles). ((My car tape with ``Video Killed the Radio Star'' is still my absolute favorite. There is NO better way to start a morning than by roaring out of your driveway singing along to that song.))

Yeah, Scott, keep telling him: TeX is dead, HTML is The Way. Of course, Unix is terminally ill, and NT is cutting the life support. Latest (professional) book purchase: UNIX System 5 Network Programming. Rago, 93. That a 4 year old book still has relevance for an operating system is damning praise indeed.

Scott, conversing with you has brought back many pleasant memories.

Keith Sherwood, ksher of

``And now," cried Max, ``let the wild rumpas start!"

((Keither, don't you think it's about time to correct that spelling mistake?? It's also time to begin trolling for another quote to lead off the games section. Ideas will be welcomed.))


The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 30 Poynter Road, Bush Hill Park, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 1DL, UK (johnh of The representives in Australia (John Cain, PO Box 4317, Melbourne University 3052, AUSTRALIA) or Belgium and some other European countries (Jef Bryant, Rue Jean Pauly, 121, B-4430 ANS, BELGIUM) also will forward your subscription on to the editor in either Australian dollars or continental European currencies respectively. Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

Obviously, I'm not anywhere close to getting back around to doing international szine reviews, but who knows, I might pick it up again at any time. I actively am searching for more international traders. I am pleased to have added a couple of them in the last few issues.

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

Lots of szines, including offerings from Brad Wilson and Paul Kenny trying to get back on schedule. Sandy Kenny should be having another baby any moment now. Also, don't miss the opportunity to congratulate Flap Jack McHugh and Maria Delamain who get married later this month! I hope someone sent Michael Lowrey some szine reviews. I didn't.....


The call goes out for special Issue #200 letters on music! From this point on, I reserve the right to hold letters or portions of letters for that issue. It will appear toward the end of January after a six week or so hiatus. I intend to have this set of submissions have two parts (submit your thoughts on one or both, but NOT neither!):

a) Your thoughts on what music of 1997 meant to you - possibly in the form of top (whatever number) CDs, favorite/memorable concerts, zapper singles that made you jump out of your chair, or whatever form you like! - which can be a list, or it can have lots of discussion/comments. For me this has been the most fascinating music year in some time, what about for you? Can't you at least give me ONE song that stood out to you? Sure you can.

b) Your thoughts on how music has changed/progressed/declined over the approximately 13 year history of this szine's focus on music issues (choose a relevant time window of your own if you like - that's the primary range I'll be looking at). This could be a new or revaluation of a list of your top CD/records of the decade/century or it could take a discussion format. The main point is that it be YOUR story. Your story does count (much as I realize that many of you don't seem to think I believe that). Originally, I was going to do a list (and I still may) but I am now leaning to something more verbal.

You can also combine the two questions to say something very short and simple. I even want to hear from those of you who would say something like this (for example): ``I grew up in the 70's listening to Yes, Genesis, and Renaissance and you know what? That's all I still like to listen to. Well, except, Anthony Phillips has another great album out this year.'' Then I can ask: ``Great! Where can I find it??'' Give it a ride!

Jamie McQuinn (Mon, 10 Nov 1997 11:05:31 GMT-5)

The recent discussion of Uncle Bonsai in TAP reminds me of the story about how I didn't get to see UB in concert.

My wife was pregnant with our first child, and not due for another three weeks. We had tickets for the Uncle Bonsai concert in Ann Arbor, and met some friends for dinner before the show. Some were going, some weren't.

Of course, you guessed it, she went into labor during the meal, and we had to head off to the hospital. Fortunately, we were able to give our tickets to our friends, who said it was a great concert.

Shortly thereafter the band broke up. So whenever I retell that story to my now 8-year-old daughter, I remind her that she owes me. I figure that when she is a teenager, and she wants to go see the hot new group, The Flaming Twisted Freaks (or whatever is big in 2005), I get to say ``no" just because she made me miss Uncle Bonsai.

You noted that Ratshin, the male member of the group remains active. I have one of his CDs, I Am Joe's Eyes. It is him alone, but he called himself the Electric Bonsai Band. If you enjoy Uncle Bonsai, you will probably like this recording as well.

Jamie, jmcquinn of

Tom Howell (Sun, 9 Nov 1997 22:04:08 -0800)

Jim, Everyone I knew in Seattle in the late 80's loved Uncle Bonsai. I heard them live in a concert at the zoo. My partner at the time and I used to sing ``Girls like ... "

please change my address to: 1011 West 18th Street, Apt 1, Port Angeles, WA 98363-7413

Best wishes, Tom, thowell of

((Done, everyone else should make a note of it too.))


``And now," cried Max, ``let the wild rumpus start!"

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904.

Standby lists: Mike Barno, John Breakwell, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Doug Kent, Paul Rauterberg, Doug Essinger-Hileman, Stan Johnson, Harry Andruschak, Dave Partridge, Andy York, Michael Pustilnik, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy. Mike Barno and Andy York stand by for the new Colonial Diplomacy game. Let me know if you want on or off the list. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks. I'd really appreciate it if anyone wanted to be added to the list.


It's time to at least think about another game opening. What is really attractive to me is to run Vincent Mous' Modern Diplomacy ten player variant. There are about 50 supply centers and it is set across a map slightly more expansive than the original's European map. This game is very popular on the Judges and has just been written about by Chris Warren in Diplomacy World #83. If I get one more person interested, I'll print the rules and officially announce a game opening. Currently, Eric Ozog, Brad Wilson, and Harry Andruschak have expressed interest. If not, I'll wait until another regular game or two ends before starting another regular Diplomacy game.

Conrad von Metzke recently finished GMing a black hole game where you can freely jump over black holes instead of having them render spaces impassible. I played in this game and like the tactics of jumping over the black holes a great deal. Now there the black holes were random, but what would happen if you could plan them? The next NYEED game will feature this rule change and will be a 7x7 tourney format unless I am convinced otherwise. I am itching to get this game started, so it will start as soon as it is filled! You get a life of game sub, and the game itself is FREE!! Sandy Kenny, John Schultz, and Harry Andruschak are signed up. Just four more and we'll get started! Come on, this one will be REALLY exciting!!

I'm also STRONGLY thinking of opening a game of Breaking Away. Is there any interest?? If so, we'll start listing that one. You don't need to own the game to play, I'm going to use Keith Thomasson's house rules that include the ``how to play the game.'' I thank John Harrington, the game's inventor, for provisionally allowing approval for this.

Otherwise Conrad is now the new editor and publisher of Pontevedria, the game openings listing, if you're interested in other game openings. Send Conrad a SASE for the latest issue to: Conrad von Metzke, 4374 Donald Avenue, San Diego, CA 92117.

SHOW ME THE MONEY: 1997Mea04, Colonial Diplomacy



Spring 1901

BRITAIN (Johnson): a del-PUN, f bom-RAJ, f aden-GOA, a mad-HYD, f HK-scs, f SIN-js.

CHINA (Goranson): a pek-MON, a CAN-may, a sik-ASS, a sha-NAN, a mac-PEK.

FRANCE (Sasseville): a TON-may, a coc-CAM, f ANN-scs.

HOLLAND (Desper): a bor-SAR, f SUM-js, f java-TS.

JAPAN (Dwyer): f tok-UP, f KYU-ys, f ota-SOJ, a KYO h. RUSSIA (Williams): a mos-BOK, a vla-SEO, f P.ART-ys, a omsk-AKM, f ode-BS.

TURKEY (Tallman): a ang-SYR, f con-ANG, f bag-SHI.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Jonas Johnson, 3649 SE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97202, (503) 238-4430 ($5)

EcidLor of

CHINA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532, (716) 876-9374 ($5)

ForlornH of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

Djrolandb of

HOLLAND: Rick Desper, 34 Woodbridge Avenue, Highland Park, NJ 08904, (908) 985-0654. (E-Mail)

desper of

JAPAN: Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($5)

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947 ($5)

dwilliams of

TURKEY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($0)

ttallman of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) I've REALLY corrected some phone numbers and E-Mail addresses and such above.

2) Thank you to Lee Kendter, Jr., for the Miller Number on the game! He is now gone ``electronic''! ``Now on line! Email address = lkend of'' Szine editors, please note!!

3) The map is in the szine here somewhere. I apologize to Britain and Japan that there isn't really room to write in their ``island'' units, so they come out as just a smudge. I think, in general, everyone will prefer to have the map with the province names on it, rather than the blank one I was going to use. Anyway, we'll go with this for a while and see where it ends up. And wow, how weird to adjudicate with a map. I usually adjudicate the regular games in my head, occasionally glancing at the maps in the szine. Here, I had to look at every move on the map. It was a bit slower than I'm used to. Well, that's why I like GMing - it sharpens my tactics. I'll be a better Colonial player when I'm done.


(TURK to WORLD): Let the lack of e-, snail or any other sort of mail begin.

(HOLLAND - WORLD): Dutch East Indian Trading Company is open for business. Emissaries from England and France have been entertained. Others are invited.

(TURK to MOMMY RUSSIA DEAREST): Every letter I have received from the rest of the board declares the sender's intent to hand you your bowels tastefully displayed à la Martha Stewart. (``A little parsley from your own garden offsets the blues and greens of the brutalized kidney and spleen...")

(MULDER to SCULLY): It's a conspiracy I tell you. I have evidence that the aliens are making the Chinese go after the Russians, the French go after the Germans and the British go after the Chinese. who will be influenced next?

(CHINA-ALL): In honour of another game played in this szine, I thought it would be a good and noble thing if we started every turn of this game with a quote. Instead of Friedrich Nietzsche, the person whose quotes seem more appropriate for this game is Tim Rice. I was going to pick Cuba Gooding Jr. quotes, but since the only thing I've ever seen him in is Lightning Jack it seemed pointless.

(TIM RICE QUOTE OF THE MONTH): ``How straightforward the game, when one has respect for one's players..." - ``Endgame" from the musical Chess

(TURK to MICHENER): Okay, I loved the book, now the trouble is to GET my fleet to Hawaii AND set up a convoy line.

(BOOB to CHINA): You'll get NO arguments from me should you continue these quotes. I love Chess. You'll have to jump over France into Bangkok - at least for one night!!

(TURKEY to CHINA): Go ahead, make my day. STEP over Britain and get in my face!

(CHINA-RUSSIA): See, I do have respect for you, even if you think I am the great Satan. Therefore I have not attacked you.

(TURK to THE EAST SIDE OF THE BOARD): Hello? (tap, tap, tap) HellOOOooo?

(CHINA-TURKEY): You said you haven't heard much from this end of the map. In response to your plight I say, ``HI TERRY!!!!!!!!"

(CHINA-JAPAN): Do you have a problem with me building fleets?

(CHINA-FRANCE): Do you have a problem with me moving south?

(CHINA-BRITAIN): Do you have a problem with me moving west?

(CHINA-HOLLAND): Do you have a problem with me moving anywhere?

(CHINA-BOOB): Do you have a problem with the Patriots moving to Providence? ((I thought I explained all that. The answer is yes - at least if they are going to wipe out the south side of my neighborhood and be a giant barrier between us and the new mall and downcity (as we call downtown around these here parts). Currently, the Providence deal is dead and they are trying to renovate the stadium in Foxboro; however, that legislation is faring badly and getting caught up in the death penalty debates in the Massachusetts legislature. My guess? The Patriots will be back looking at Providence or gone to somewhere West pretty soon. We gotta find a new site though if it's gonna be here (not that I care).))

(THE TURKISH CASTLE): The barbarian turned from the vista of the bone-white city, surrounded by the rocky plain. The duck was paddling around the koi pool, half heartedly trying to score lunch. ``You know," muttered the duck around a goldfish that had already been a floater, ``This is a whole new world! Some of these people may have never been stabbed by me! Fresh backs!" ``True," muttered the barbarian. ``But that doesn't resolve the question of what happened to Red Daf. And what of the french frog and the Turkish french poodle and the German/Anglo tweedle dee und dumber combination?" A voice from the door way intoned, ``You are NOT in the Szine Register game anymore, Totoad Father." The barbarian turned and saw a figure, vaguely male (some five o'clock shadow) wrapped in silk embroidered with dragons, herons, butterflies, holstein cattle, gophers, unicorns, draft horses, Geo hatchbacks, congressmen and women who receive money from the NRA, and a bull hamster rampant. ``You are the Chinese representative, I presume."

(BOOB'S WARNING): Watch out for those bull hamsters. They're the most dangerous.

HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON: Round #6 - 1997Hrn39, 7x7 Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy

Fall 1906

AUSTRIA (J. Ellis): f TRI h, a BUD h, a VIE h; nukes withheld; and owns tri,bud,vie(3).

ENGLAND (Schultz): f ENG C a wal-bel, f NWG chews radioactive whale blubber,

a WAL-bel; nuked NAP(3), ROM(3), VEN(3), TUN(3), ION; and owns lvp,lon(2).

FRANCE (Barno): f mid-BAHAMAS, a PIC-bel; nuked GM 5 TIMES; and owns par,mar,bre(3).

GERMANY (Dwyer): f bal-DEN, a PRU-war, a ruh-HOL; nuked TUN(3), NWY(2),

VEN(3), POR(2), SPA(2); and owns hol,den(2).

ITALY (Lancaster): a TUS-uh, umm, nevermind; nuked NWY(2), EDI, SWE, SPA(2), POR(2);

and owns none(0).

RUSSIA (Andruschak): f FIN h, f RUM S a sev, a SEV S f rum, a UKR-war;

nuked ROM(3), NAP(3), VEN(3), TUN(3); and owns stp,war,mos,sev,rum(5).

TURKEY (R. Ellis): f bla-BUL(EC), a bul-SER, a ARM-sev; nuked BER, MUN,

KIE, NAP(3), ROM(3); and owns con,smy,ank,bul,ser(5).

HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON: Round #7 - 1997Jrn39, 7x7 Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy


Winter 1907

AUSTRIA (R. Ellis): has a VIE, f TRI, a BUD; and 5 nukes.

ENGLAND (J. Ellis): has f LON, a LVP, f EDI; and 5 nukes.

FRANCE (Schultz): has f BRE, a PAR, a MAR; and 5 nukes.

GERMANY (Barno): has f KIE, a BER, a MUN; and 5 nukes. ITALY (Dwyer): has f NAP, a ROM, a VEN; and 5 nukes.

RUSSIA (Lancaster): has f STP(SC), f SEV, a MOS, a WAR; and 4 nukes.

TURKEY (Andruschak): has f ANK, a SMY, a CON; and 5 nukes.

Addresses of the Participants Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309 Randy Ellis, #1 Flamingo Lodge Highway, Flamingo, FL 33034-6798

Jeff Ellis, 2828 Hayes Road, #531, Houston, TX 77082 (281) 556-2022 ($2)

John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041.

Mike Barno, PO Box 509, Gardiner, MT 59030, (406) 848-2149

Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159

Stuart Lancaster, 4127 SW Webster, Seattle, WA 98136 ($4)

stuart of

GM: FIVE TIMES VAPORIZED!! Was at 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327

Current Standings

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 TOTAL

HARRY ANDRUSCHAK  4  4  5  0  0  5 18
RANDY ELLIS  2  2  1  0  1  5 11
JEFF ELLIS  1  4  3  1  4  3 16
JOHN SCHULTZ  3  1  5  4  2  2 17
MIKE BARNO  0  4  1  5  5  3 18
LUKE DWYER  5  0  5  3  4  2 19
STUART LANCASTER  4  3  4  5  0  0 16
Black Holed 15 15  8 14 18 12 82
Neutral  0  1  2  2  0  2  7

Total 34 34 34 34 34 34 204

Times GM Nuked  1  5  2  3  1  5 17
Lee Kendter, Jr.  0  1  0  0  0  0  1
Clinton/Dole  0  1  0  0  0  0  1
Garret Schenck  0  0  1  0  0  0  1
Switzerland  0  0  1  0  0  0  1
Ireland  0  0  1  0  0  0  1
Nukes Withheld  4  0  5  4  0  5 18

Game Notes (firmly orbiting in the tropopause):

1) We're here, the final round of nukes! Don't waste your last shot as the game remains very tight. Almost anyone - anyone except Randy - can still win.

2) For the rest of the game, if Jeff doesn't submit orders, his units will hold and his nukes will go unfired. Note that contact with Jeff likely will improve if you use his new address. Naturally, Randy has another new address too. Use it in good health.

3) I had some fun linking the press this time around. Check out ALL the puns carefully. You guys are SOOOO helpful in indulging the GM's delights.


(DR. PALINDROME-ENGLAND): Sex at noon taxes.

(ELLIS to ANDRUSCHAK): Hope your travel south is going well. ((Not exactly.... see below.)) By the way, I've calmed down now. You will not receive any nukes from me in the final round. Your nuking me was per your publicly announced agenda. In any case.... at last we are at the grand finale. ((We're all set up to have the final moves in Issue #200.))

(DR. PALINDROME-FRANCE): Degas, are we not drawn outward, we freer few, drawn onward to new eras aged?

(ANDRUSCHAK-GM): TAP-195 arrived 21 October. There has been a major change in my vacation plans but this will not affect my participation in TAP. Last Wednesday Marine Expeditions Inc. phoned me that they were unilaterally cancelling the Antarctica trip. The stated reason was the ship would not be ready in time. I was offered some alternative trips but none fit my schedule. No other offers, explanations, or apologies were offered.

If I were living in Toronto, where Marine Expeditions is based, I would be very tempted to give them a demonstration of a disgruntled postal worker ``going postal''. Especially after being told it would take several weeks to refund my money. I am very pissed off at Marine Expeditions.

I looked into substitute vacations, but with only 2-3 weeks to book, well, most overseas vacations are fully booked, others would require hard to get visas, others would cost a fortune in last minute hotel and air reservations, and what was available was not what I was really interested in.

So I decided to just take another automobile vacation to Seattle and back. Why Seattle? Mother, Sister, Niece, and much other family there. I will be driving around 28 October-14 November and will write up a trip report for FOSFAX as usual. (Speaking of which, have they sent you a copy of FOSFAX yet, as I requested them to?) ((Yes, was I supposed to send samples back?? No note or explanation was included although I gathered you were the proximate cause.)) I'll avoid the Interstates and take as many scenic byways as might be open this time of year, considering that snowfall has occured in many places.

Anyhow, I also await the start of the Black Hole game and the Modern Diplomacy game, plus whatever ``hopeless'' standby positions become available. ((I note with amusement that people like you, Harry, sign up and get involved in numerous games, while others are pretty slow to take up new games. I have an excuse (running the szine). What's theirs?))







(DR. PALINDROME-GERMANY): I, man, am regal; a German am I.

(JOHN BOY - SKYWALKER): Tsk, tsk - bad attitude.

(POOFREADER to LUKE): So did you notice in issue 190 that there is no amino acid called ``acerbic acid''? A clue was the alleged enzyme ``tauroboliase'', whose roots (preceding the ``-ase'' suffix used for enzymes) mean ``bull shit''.

(DR. PALINDROME-GOD): Did I do, O God, did I as I said I'd do? Good, I did.

(POOFREADER to EDITOR): Also in issue 190, in the ZR Patheticational Game, ((Hey, look, they're all writing press - by mandate - what a great game!!)) you misspelled my correction of a previous writer's ``acclImation'' to ``acclAmation'' (from the verb ``acclaim''). I may have to nuke you again for being WRONG...

(DR. PALINDROME-ITALY): Wonders! In Italy Latin is red now.

(MIKE to KEITH): On that ``most worthwhile/useful high school classes'' question: I wasn't actually a high school student during the best candidate I can think of. As an eighth-grader, the math 8th-grade honors course (basically the 9th grade algebra curriculum) was too slow and boring for me and one other guy, so they switched us to 9th-grade honors math (geometry) at the high school. After walking down from the junior high each day, I would teach myself the version of BASIC that ran on the Digital PDP-8. That turned my general facility with logical systems toward skill at writing and using software; and that has helped me get most non-slave-level jobs I've had. ((Wow, spooky. I had a strikingly similar experience that I was thinking about recently because I just wrote about it somewhere. I think it was in a private letter to Terry, rather than in the szine. [if Terry sends it back to me, I'll print it, so you can see how I structured my description so similarly] The main difference was that: the high school was too far away so I did the BASIC teaching to myself instead of taking any math class at all. I showed my understanding of probability and risk taking ending the year by convincing the teacher to trade in the A she was going to give me for a draw from a card deck (Diamond for an ``Honors'' grade, Heart for an A, Club for a B, and Spade for a C). I pulled the Ace of Diamonds and got the Honors grade. My four quarterly grades for the year were C,B,A,Honors (I was so bored at the beginning that I wasn't doing the work and got the A in the third quarter as part of an earlier deal to bag the last quarter of the class for the independent study computer idea.))

(DR. PALINDROME-NASA): Hell, a spacecraft farce caps all, eh?

(DR. PALINDROME-RUSSIA): Dame Russia is sure mad!

(MIKE to STUART): So when you came through Gardiner (but didn't come see me, clown!), did you sample the local cuisine? In the old Western flick The Fighting Mescaleros, we are told that the Mescalero Indians ``can survive on a diet of peyote juice, rattlesnake, and lizard.''

(DR. PALINDROME-SPAIN): Alli trota la tortilla.

(DR. PALINDROME-TURKEY): No evil Shahs live on.

(JOHN BOY - HARRY): I know it's redundant, but I cut a deal. That's the way I am - y'know?!

(ANDRUSCHAK-DR. PALINDROME): Yawn. Madonna fan? No damn way.

(FIDEL CASTRO-DR. PALINDROME): Embargoes so grab me.

(JOHN BOY - BARNO): Man - I'm sorry about your bud. Believe it or not, death by lightning for riders is not all that uncommon. I can recollect over a dozen over my riding life - two of them good friends. Never ride in a thunderstorm. Rain is cool - but no storms.

THE HERMIT: 1995 IH, Regular Diplomacy



Fall 1907

AUSTRIA (Ellis): f ALB S a gre, a TYO-mun, a GRE S a ser, a BOH S a tyo-mun,

a BUD h, a ser S a bud (d r:tri,otb), f ION S a gre.

ENGLAND (Pollard): f TUN S AUSTRIAN f ion.

FRANCE (Dwyer): f ENG-nth, a BEL S GERMAN f hol, f TYH S AUSTRIAN f ion,

f NWG S f bar-nwy, f LON-yor, a EDI-yor, f BAR-nwy, a bur-RUH, a mar-BUR.

GERMANY (Emmert): f HOL S FRENCH f eng-nth, a VIE-gal.

RUSSIA (Sherwood): a STP S f nth-nwy, a SIL-boh, a GAL-bud, f BLA S a ukr-rum, a rum-SER,

f DEN-nth, a MUN S a sil-boh, a ukr-RUM, f NTH-nwy, f AEG-gre, a KIE S f hel-hol,

f HEL-hol, a BUL S a rum-ser, a BER S a mun, f EAS-ion.

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Ellis): tri,bud,gre,ven,rom,nap (has 6 or 7, even(r:otb) or rem 1)
ENGLAND (Pollard): tun (has 1, even)
FRANCE (Dwyer): bre,par,mar,por,spa,lon,edi,lvp, (has 9, even)
GERMANY (Emmert): hol,vie (has 2, even)
RUSSIA (Sherwood): stp,mos,war,sev,swe,ank,nwy, (has 15, bld 1)
Neutral: none (Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Randy Ellis, #1 Flamingo Lodge Highway, Flamingo, FL 33034-6798 ($10)

ENGLAND: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190, ($5)

FRANCE: Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($4)

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of ITALY: Mark Kinney, 3613 Coronado Drive, Louisville, KY 40241, (502) 426-8165

alberich of

RUSSIA: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367 ($4)

ksher of or Keith_Sherwood of TURKEY: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($3) GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The FA note draw has been rejected. In its place a concession to the Great Satan... ummm, I mean Russia, has been proposed. A concession to France also has been proposed. Please vote on both proposals with your Winter orders.

2) Note Randy's new address. I expect we'll get a phone number presently.


(THE PEOPLE to VON STEUBEN): Don't give up! We need you! Fight on! Fight on! Don't let us lose our country!

(LANGWORTHY to BOARD): This has turned into a rather interesting game (at least for me). I spent a long time thinking about what to do. There were so many options.

(BARNO to SKYWALKER): Kent has the same problem you mentioned: too many options. (``Too many, with only one unit?'' you ask.) Kent is, um, easily confused.

(THE LIVERPOOL UNDERGROUND): Reports have been coming in that the famed Mike Barno has escaped! Emaciated, exhausted, almost expired. Extremely exampled. Yet alive! Free! Rumors pour in that even now he is making for the Swiss Embassy. The renowned hunter and tracker Elmer Fudd is once again hot on his trail with bloodhounds in fast pursuit. A reward has been issued Dead or Alive! We will keep all concerned updated on this event as news of his journey transpires...

(AUSTRIA-HUNGARY to WORLD): Sorry for the lack of communication guys. I was in Yellowstone, Modesto CA, Flagstaff AZ, Overland Park KS, and Houston TX, before I arrive in Florida Nov. 15th. I don't expect any more COA's until May... (GERMANY): This has turned into a rather tenuous game. I spend a long time worrying about what to do. Then I realized there was little I could do. (ELLIS-BOARD): This has turned into a rather good game. I was bored when Russia and I were rolling across the board. Defending my homeland from invading hordes gives my so many more options to think about. (RUSSIA-BOARD): This game sucks. I was going to win and then I blew it. (THE DISGRUNTLED WELSHMAN to THE WORLD): I wish I could kick a few arses meself! Maybe the Russians have some butt kickin' to do yet! Will see lads, will see! (KEITH to RANDY): The French are bad tippers? What about students (e.g. NAU)? (MIKE to RANDY): Did you survive the 60-mile hike? You didn't fetch Stuart and Russell here afterward so I wonder if the bears ate you all. No, you'd trip Russell and get away while his brains were being evaluated by the taste-test method. ((Would they even have to trip him? You hear the old joke all the time, I'm sure, you don't have to outrun the bear, you just have to outrun the slowest runner.))

(GM to BOARD): This has turned into quite an interesting game. Yes, yes, yes.... actually it's a fascinating position.

(BOOB to BORED BOARD): Yes, I actually said that, or something like it. Let's finish with some thrilling journals...

(JOURNALS OF AN ENGLISHMAN): It wa a quiet, lovely evening. The leaves were scattering in the wind as I stroll through the park. The lamp lights had been lit and I pondered what the outcome of the war would bring to this country. After all, Austria still retained her integrity, but the Russians were ruthless and not too far away. I was deep in thought when I heard a faint sound. I stopped and listened. There it was again. A kind of dull thump. I left the walkway and headed towards a large tree. As I came around it I could see a man beating someone else with a cane. I immediately seized his arm and swung him around. To my amazement, I recognized him. It was none other than the infamous Baron von Steuben! He was frothing at the mouth and looking quite mad. He kept screaming, ``Get Dead! Get Dead!'' It was more than I could take. I shook him violently and bellowed, ``Good God, man! Snap out of it!'' His eyes blinked and then he began to breathe easier. I then turned my attention to the figure lying on the ground. I knelt down and noticed an odd thing. What was before me was no man. It was a stuffed dummy dressed up to look like a man! I rose and confronted the Baron.

``Sir. Are you better?''

He responded, ``Thank you. I'm sorry you had to witness that. It is a sort of sport that I conduct every evening. It helps to relieve stress.''

``But, beating on a stuffed dummy? It seems so barbaric.''

The Baron smiled, ``It's not just any old set of rags. It has a certain representation for me.''

``What may I ask is that?''

``It is made to resemble Ambassador Sherwood,'' he replied.

I thought about that for a moment. An evil smile creased my lips. I stepped over and began to vigorously kick this stuffed set of debris with all my might! The Baron joined me and together in unison we giggled insanely and put our passions away in a delightful stress relieving endeavor... After all, when in Rome...



Summer 1908

ENGLAND (Lowrey): has f IRI, f BAR, f NTH, f GOB, a STP.

FRANCE (Rauterberg): has a GAS, f GOL, f WES, a SPA, a PIE.

GERMANY (Kent): has a MUN, a BOH, a LVN, a SIL, a WAR, f DEN, a RUH.

ITALY (Billenness): R f wes-NAF; has f TUS, f NAF, a VEN.

RUSSIA (Williams): has a MOS, a ARM, a UKR, a GAL. TURKEY (Sherwood): has a SMY, a RUM, f BLA, a BUD, f AEG, f TYH, a VIE, f TUN,

a TRI, f ION.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($8)

ttallman of

ENGLAND: Michael Lowrey, 6503-D Fourwinds Drive, Charlotte, NC 28212-3749, (704) 563-9226

mlowrey of

ENGLAND EMERITUS: Tom Nash, 202 Settlers Road, St. Simons Island, GA 31522, (912) 634-1753 ($4)

75763.707 of CompuServe.COM

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($10)

prosit of

GERMANY: Doug Kent, 10214 Black Hickory Rd., Dallas, TX 75243 (214) 234-8386 ($5)

73567.1414 of CompuServe.COM ITALY: Simon Billenness, 452 Park Drive, Apt. 7, Boston, MA 02215, (617) 423-6655 ($5)

sbillenness of RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947

dwilliams of

RUSSIA EMERITUS: Ken Peel, 12041 Eaglewood Court, Silver Spring, MD 20902, (301) 949-4055 ($5)


TURKEY: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367

ksher of or Keith_Sherwood of

TURKEY EMERITUS: Pete Gaughan, 1236 Detroit Av. #7, Concord, CA 94520-3651, (510) 825-2165 ($4)

gaughan of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes (back from the tropopause): 1) The game specific standby list for this game includes Garret Schenck, Cathy Cunning Ozog, Dick Martin, and Vince Lutterbie in reverse alphabetical order (note that Garret is presently missing, so I am running low on standbys here...). Someone find Mike Mills!! Guest press from potential standbys would be a ``good thing'' if they wanted to be chosen.

2) Anyone failing to submit press for two consecutive turns will be dropped from the game! Although press in this szine is generally black, I will make the exception here that I will say who has NPRed and is ``at risk'' for being dropped. I screwed up my accounting for this last time. So this turn I start over. This season, we got press only from France, England, and Italy. Thus everyone else is on the bubble for Fall. Wait, here's something from Turkey too. Scratch that. ONLY Germany and Russia are on the bubble for Fall.


(SIMON SAYS): I am simply incapable of writing press.

(BOOB SAYS): Aha! Caughtcha!! You just did write press, so you must be lying. Are you a cutthroat Diplomacy player or something?? (PARIS to (DISLODGED) ITALIAN FLEET): When Turkey relieves you of Rome and Naples, who are you going to puppet for next? England?

(KEITH to DON): Sorry I messed up the bounce over Arm. We spend all that time planning, and I go and blow it.

(CHARLOTTE-BOSTON MUSIC MAVEN): OK Jim, here's a quiz for you and your readers. These song lyrics are from a female musician that grew up in/near Boston and has recently moved to NYC. The song was released in the past five years. She is nationally known. The lyrics are: ``I'm a goddess in your eyes and I will never die I was born of peoples needs and what they want to believe But I'm a liar, that's the truth, Go home and think it through That's the harm in history, All you know is what you see.''

Who is she, what's the name of the song (which are also the next line), and what album is it from. Answer next time.

Ghods: 1994 KF, Internet Judge Diplomacy

AUSTRIA: Josh Smith; ENGLAND: Nick Fitzpatrick; FRANCE: Jim Burgess; GERMANY: John Sloan; ITALY: Danny Loeb; RUSSIA: Rich Shipley; TURKEY: David Kovar.

GM: Mark Nelson, 1st Flr Frt Flat, 3 Kelso Road, Leeds, W. Riding LS2, UK; amt5man of

I've begun my write-up on Ghods too, but you won't see it for a long time since it won't appear until 1997 KT ends. Then again, 1997 KT could be sailing into the Endgame pretty soon. Anyone want to take odds on whether I will finish my article before Mark finishes his on 1994 KF? I'm still waiting to discover whether my key suppositions were correct that ultimately determined the outcome of the game. Come on, Mark....

Ghods too (ghodstoo on the judge): 1997 KT, Internet Judge Diplomacy

AUSTRIA: Edi Birsan (edi of;

ENGLAND: Jamie Dreier (James_Dreier of;

FRANCE: John Barkdull (uejon of;

GERMANY: Pitt Crandlemire (pittc of;

ITALY: Cal White (diplomat of;

RUSSIA: Mark Fassio (jm2365 of, fazfam of;

TURKEY: Hohn Cho (hohncho of

GM: Jim Burgess (burgess of

USIN judge: judge of

((The main point of this game was to take some successful E-Mail players, some successful FTF tournament players, and some successful PBM players, put them in a game together using the Judge E-Mail technology and see what happens. The game has now ended in a France/England/Turkey DIAS draw. See some of the endgame chatter below.))

Selected Broadcast Press (Endgame):

(ENDGAME STATEMENT from uejon of TTACS.TTU.EDU as FRANCE): Well, quite a game. It's hard to know where to begin the EOG statement. For starters, I'm happy to have survived. Even after weathering the first storm, I had limited confidence that I would make it to the end. I was once a 10-unit Italy, largest power on the board, and embarking on my assault on England when my erstwhile Austrian ally stabbed me. In a few short years, I was history. So reaching a fairly large size is no guarantee of participation in a draw.

The early part of the game was most interesting. I was lied to on all fronts. England took the Channel, and Germany attacked from the east, while Italy moved into Piedmont. I had resigned myself to an early exit, but I did not give up. I stayed in contact with my neighbors, and benefited when Italy turned east. The most important development was Pitt's willingness to reverse field and allow me to repulse the English attack. Before long, England was near elimination. Austria (Edi) was a main player in bringing this about. As important, Pitt and I talked over the phone and developed an effective plan for mutual expansion. The benefits of the plan were clear enough.

The F-I relationship was particularly interesting. My policy throughout the game was to befriend and support Italy. Unfortunately, Italy did not see things quite the way I did. I told him the truth about why I wanted his friendship: to buffer against Turkey. I anticipated a draw, and I tried to impress on Italy that he would most likely participate in it if he and I worked together. Cal, however, thought that he could manage the F-T conflict to his own benefit by allying with Turkey. His reasoning (at least as expressed to me) was that he could occupy the stalemate line, thus being in position to throw the game if either F or T stabbed. My response was to point out that I had virtually no presence in the Med, while Turkey was, of necessity, a massive presence. I don't think I ever had more than three fleets in the Med, and when Italy threw in with Turkey I had only one. I don't think Cal read this situation correctly. But no matter what I did, Cal would not go against Turkey, and this led to his demise.

For some reason, Cal thought I had a chance at a win, while Turkey did not. Cal was proven right on Turkey's chances by events, but it was a close call. I still don't see why he thought France could win outright. I always expected a draw, and indeed I thought the game would end with as many as five remaining powers.

At one point, England was down to one center and I could have easily eliminated him, but I chose not to do so. Quite honestly, I don't recall all the tactical considerations at that moment. I do recall (without reviewing old messages) that I was about to attack Germany and I needed the English fleet for some reason. More, I was then large enough to want to gather small powers to my side. I befriended Russia and England, then launched the attack on Germany. Why did I attack Germany? Simply, I felt I had no other decent opportunities, and Germany was somewhat vulnerable. I hoped to rebuild both Russia and England as solid allies. I calculated that I would always be the dominant partner, and rescuing my former enemy (England) from oblivion would be the basis for long-term trust. This did happen; although I think England had a couple of opportunities (before Turkey got so big) to stab me and make for an even more chaotic game, we maintained open and honest communication for the rest of the game.

In the most controversial move in the game, Russia sacrificed himself to ensure my capture of Munich (not necessary, as it turned out), but I did participate in building England back up, ultimately to participate in the draw. In part, I did this because this was a demo game, and I thought it would be neat to show observers that no situation is hopeless. Also, Jamie is an excellent tactician, and I wanted his advice.

My most unfortunate relationship was with Germany. Germany saved me from oblivion, yet I later turned on him. Then, when he was down to a unit or two, England and I took him out to reduce the size of the draw, after using him to set up the stalemate against Turkey. Not very nice on my part. Nothing personal, Pitt, just sheer opportunism.

Hohn and I did not communicate at all at the beginning, and then not much for the remainder of the game. We bandied about the idea of a 2-way, but I never took it that seriously. I have participated in one 2-way draw). It was founded on game-long trust and cooperation, so strong that at the end neither of us could imagine stabbing the other for a win. Hohn and I never developed that kind of relationship, so I did not trust him to carry through a 2-way draw promise, and, quite honestly, he had no reason to think that I would. As things turned out, I would have had to bear much the larger burden of risk anyway, so I opted for the 3-way.

I'm not quite sure what was going on for Russia. I know he became highly offended by what he saw as maltreatment by Austria and Turkey. Perhaps he had good reason for that. In any event, he became my vassal. I wish we had played it so he had not been eliminated (at least not when he was) but them's the breaks.

Austria and I spoke a lot. Edi called regularly until his fate was more or less sealed. Also, I think he gave up on me when I did not come through on his expectations. I misled him into thinking I would do things I did not do. I wanted him to think I would, but I never fully committed, even though Edi no doubt thinks I did. I tried to support him toward the end, but by then it was too late.

I have always played Diplomacy by computer. I started out in the Compuserve and Genie Dip areas, then moved to the judges after I dropped the pay services. I found it downright startling to receive a phone call from someone (usually Edi) on diplomacy. I'm used to having a chance to think about my response before making it, and also to manipulating the timing of my responses. I find it much easier to frame things just the way I want in email rather than in a person-to-person conversation. I'm not surprised that the FTF players among us had some difficulty with this format. I know I felt it in reverse. The game was good experience for me in giving me a taste of the FTF world, though far short of the real thing.

The middle game is my weak point, and it showed up here. I did not display good tactics when I had a large force to manage. This cost me dearly in my battle with TI. I went from an offensive position to a precarious defensive position in one turn. I need to spend more time on tactics during the middle game rather than going with my first or second cut.

I'd be interested in others' views on my decision to attack Germany. Was this a wise move, or should I have done something else? More later, perhaps.

(TURKEY'S END-OF-GAME STATEMENT IN ``GHODSTOO"): Right. It's 2:00 a.m., I'm a bit buzzed from too much booze, and I have a shitload of work to do tomorrow. Yet the muse has struck, and I find myself finally prepared to talk about this great game.

As a preliminary disclaimer, some may find my writing style to be overly formalistic and/or blunt. I'm not entirely sure why I tend to do this, perhaps it's because I'm a lawyer. In any case, these are my honest and straightforward thoughts, and please, if you wish to take issue with them, I welcome you to. There is little I enjoy more than strenuous and heated debate.

So, to begin. I'm pretty goddamn happy with the way this game turned out, all things considered.

First, I was happy to draw Turkey. Turkey is my second favorite nation, right behind France. Sometimes I think I play Turkey the best out of all of the countries, even though I enjoy France more. Many of my best performances have come with Turkey. The thing I love most about Turkey is that you can never, ever count Turkey out. On so many occasions, I've been down to 3, 2 and even 1 center with Turkey, yet I've managed to climb out of my predicament and roll onward to a respectable finish, sometimes even victory. At San Diego DipCon in 1989, my solo victory (which happened to be the only solo victory in the entire con) was with Turkey, after being reduced to 3 centers in 1902 and 1903. A cagey defense can work wonders, and I can often outlast my persecuters with Turkey.

So yes, I was thrilled to have drawn it.

Having Edi to my northwest in Austria was also a great relief. Edi and I have always worked well together. He and I could tell you some rather remarkable stories about DipCons past, and indeed, those games have been some of my all-time favorites.

At this point, I'd like to raise potentially controversial issue number one. When you've worked well with someone in the past, and you do so again, is that ``cross-gaming?" Or is that just the benefits of experience? I tend toward the latter, although I know some who argue the former. In my mind, the distinction is that although I know from experience that Edi is a great player who tends toward strong alliance, that doesn't mean I automatically go with him.

Since this was a demo game, I decided to do the exact opposite, in fact. I wanted to torch Edi quickly, not only because I had never started initially adverse to him and wanted to try a new experience, but also because I knew he was dangerous. No offense to the rest of my esteemed colleagues, most of whom I didn't know before this game in any event, but I considered Edi to be the most dangerous other player on the board, and I accordingly wanted to axe him.

To that end, I attempted to cultivate a strong RT. Mark seemed to be on board with the idea, as well as personable and likeable, with an apparently strong sense of the game. We exchanged what must have been dozens of kilobytes of text, hashing out specific details, and ultimately I figured he was solid, and that he was going to go with me. Meanwhile, Edi and I had exchanged a perfunctory message or two, along the lines of ``Hey, let's kick butt together, we've done it before, we'll do it again." And we didn't talk much more than that.

Of course, as my S1901 moves indicated, that was all BS on my part. Again, I was strongly motivated by the novelty/demo factor, and I wanted to see what I could do to take Edi out. And I was utterly convinced Mark was with me. The old, ``The greatest volume of exchanged press==loyalty" schtick completely took me in.

And also of course, Mark completely snookered me.

I recall seeing the S1901 moves. I told a buddy of mine, ``Well, so much for this demo game. I'm meat." I would feel a bit less doomsaying in the future, but I was quite demoralized after seeing Mark neatly eviscerate my position. I was so convinced he wouldn't stab me! The volume of messages we exchanged, the traditional difficulty Russia has opening strongly against Turkey, my desire to nail Edi to the wall and the paranoia I attempted to foment against him with Mark, they all convinced me I was solid. How wrong I was!

In any event, after my S1901 failed so disastrously, I had to fall back upon experience and a bit of fast-talk desperation. I approached my old buddy Edi, pulled the nostalgia card, apologized humbly for my fuck-ups, and pledged my eternal, undying support. All I wanted, ostensibly, was to get back a little bit at Mark. I utilized my standard ``toady" line, and while I suspect Edi saw right through that, it nevertheless panned out as Edi didn't move decisively against me. He rather made some novel moves which could have been used in a devastating fashion against me in S1902, but which didn't overly hurt me in F1901. That was fine with me; Edi straddling the fence was much better for me than Edi taking the hammer to me.

F1901 was also spent trying to patch things up with Mark (read: me begging Mark to pull off). We once again exchanged dozens of kilobytes of text, and he again promised to go with me. This time, though, I wasn't buying, and I decided to take the safe moves which would hopefully maintain my position and defend against Russia. The tone of my messages to mark would also set the tenor for my later diplomatic strategy with him, one that would ultimately prove successful.

I defended against Mark's greed, and then fell back into Fortress Turkey mode. All the while, I was hoping against hope that Edi would succumb to nostalgia and recollection of good past experiences with me, so that we could work together against Mark.

Happily, Russia stabbed Edi shortly thereafter. This was a rather large blunder on Mark's part, IMO. He stabbed too many people, at too many dangerous times. I think he was taken by the ``demo" aspect of the game. Now, demos are all well and good, but even if you want to try something different, you should still always keep sight of the end goal, and utilize worthwhile strategies. You can't expect reckless strategies to work, especially not in an experts' game.

Edi was then pushed into my camp, because of Mark's stab. I of course marketed myself as the only reliable ally, and again pledged eternal loyalty and support and toadiedom. All the while, I was still conducting a diplomatic onslaught against Mark.

The strategy I adopted was one of absolute bluntness and truthfulness. I played the ``wounded victim" schtick up to the hilt, and took an amazingly self-righteous tone. You see, I had noticed that Mark appeared to avoid taking personal responsibility for his actions, preferring instead to blame it all on Edi. ``Edi made me do it" was a rather common refrain, with Mark.

With this in mind, I figured that any sign of forgiveness or weakness or general ``laid-backness" would backfire on me. Every time I bought into his prior acts, I got burned. So I figured if I took a hard line, he might stand up and take notice. I also figured that if I painted myself as the ever-loyal ally who always got brutally betrayed by him, he might find my promises more credible. ``I've never once stabbed you" was a common refrain of mine to Mark. I never let him dodge responsibility, and I also figured that if I could make him own up to it, and didn't let him off the hook, he might actually feel some level of guilt and responsibility and do the ``right thing" for once.

So on the crucial Fall turn of 1902 (or was it 1903? I forget, and I'm trying to do this from memory, as my older game files are not readily available) I made a tactical analysis of the board. One particular set of moves would guarantee that I kept all of my centers, as well as take SEV. I then made a full-scale diplomatic assault on Mark so that he would make the necessary moves. Hoping against hope, I then crossed my fingers.

And it worked! I blew Mark out of SEV, and my build on that turn marked the end of my openings phase, and took me into my midgame.

[At this point, the muse passed out. Upon rereading the above, I'm rather amused by quite a bit of it, so I decided I'd keep it in raw form, rather than editing.] ((And I would just comment that other than Jamie's consistent verbiage spread around to many players, the exchanges between Mark and Hohn in total overwhelmed any other communication on the board for sheer volume. Boy, did they go at it.))

Midgame was spent with Edi and me working solidly and steadily against IR, with a lent French unit. We did well at first, but then we began to bog down. So much so that the tide eventually turned, and Edi began to take losses.

Somewhere during that time, there was a rather crucial exchange between Edi and myself, concerning RUM. Much of this was done over the phone, but basically, the way I saw it, if I managed to convince him to let me take RUM, I'd then be able to shed the onus of toadiedom and begin to breathe a bit easier. In fact, considering some of the risks he was facing on that same turn, I might even be able to become the dominant partner of the alliance. After much wrangling, he finally consented to letting me have RUM on that turn, and I knew that I was set. I was actually quite happy with myself, in that I'd suspected he'd remain adamant in his desire to take/keep RUM, but I think by that point, he'd decided to throw in with me for the long haul, no matter what. I felt similarly, although I was starting to realize that the realities of the situation might require a rearrangement in the future. I really, really wanted to work with Edi, because I knew he was reliable and because I knew any AT will favor the T in the long run.

But we became stalemated, and Edi began to lose ground. Edi, I still disagree with you quite strongly in that I don't think staying with you would have benefited me in the end. I do think you're overestimating your ability to influence our particular situation, to be honest; France, Italy and Russia weren't budging, and hadn't shown any signs that they ever would, despite several years worth of efforts by both of us. And if I'd granted you the support and centers you wanted, it would have been at my expense. And I didn't want to jeopardize my upward trend with a downward turn, especially knowing how cagey you are, Edi. I was worried that you could have stabbed me at any time, after making a deal with the others. Giving up parts of my position to you as you had requested was just too dangerous, and the potential payoff was too remote and speculative; what I saw was us getting driven back, and you can't count on being able to influence all of the others, which is what we would have needed for you to prosper again.

Moreover, I also of course considered you to be very dangerous, Edi, and since I saw an opportunity to axe you while growing at the same time, I wanted to do it. See, I agree with most of the people here that said that a solo victory was a very unlikely result. Thus, I wanted to make sure I ended up in any three-way situation. Stabbing you guaranteed my placing in at least a three-way, assuming France couldn't achieve a solo (which I was genuinely concerned about for a while). Stabbing you also was a way of playing for the win, since even though I suddenly became a major player and a threat for the win, I knew France was matching me, at least initially. Since the only way to get to a solo is to get those 18 centers, I figured I'd have to start moving, especially considering the threat of France. I knew stabbing Edi was one way of growing toward that 18 center victory.

Jamie said that he thought that after I stabbed Edi, my chances of winning were low. Of course they were low. In a game like this, the fact that I or anyone came close was remarkable in itself; I fully expected a three-way result from the start. Good players wouldn't allow for any other result, for the most part, under most circumstances. The thing I dispute is that I don't think staying with Edi would have increased my chances of a solo. At max, even if we assume Edi was able to get out of the stalemate situation he was in, even if he managed to stave off FIR's push and recover some ground, I figure we'd only be able to make it up to 11/11 or 12/12 before we reached our maximum realistic extent. Then I could have stabbed, but the other thing that helped me make my decision to stab Edi was some words from Edi himself, where he said that we could grow to a decent size and then ``hopefully force a concession." I don't think Edi realized this was a DIAS game, which makes everything different in terms of end-game strategies. The vast majority of FTF games are won by concession, but not DIAS games. As soon as someone pointed that out to him, I strongly suspected Edi would be much more wary and on guard against me, because there would be no easy concessions; one of us would likely have to stab the other. And since I didn't know when someone would clarify this point to Edi, I wanted to strike while the iron was hot, and when he least expected me to stab him. Stabbing Edi when he is on guard is a difficult proposition, after all, and should be avoided whenever possible. :)

I was very happy with the turn that I stabbed Edi. That turn also involved a stab of Cal, and it worked out perfectly, such that Edi went down three while Cal maintained (I think). Every move worked out exactly as I'd hoped, and I knew I was in the three-way, and possibly might even get a two-way or a solo.

The endgame was rather simple, straightforward and brief. Edi stayed alive longer than I'd hoped, and there was the judge e-mail fiasco that caused such disruption between Cal's and my moves. I believe my chances of winning would have been better had we been able to either beat Edi down more quickly, or had we been able to coordinate better on the judge fiasco turn. My reasoning for this was that if I had been one turn faster on getting to the Med, I might have been able to blow into MID myself, rather than needing Cal's assistance (assistance which Cal wisely decided to was very tantalizing to be so close to blowing into the MID, but having Cal refuse to do so). And if I'd made it into MID, I feel confident I would have won.

As a result of that, it was just a question of who would be in the final draw. I had one last card or two to try, though, and things were closer than I'd thought they would be.

I'd always planned on stabbing Cal, but the question was how to do it without overly jeopardizing my position, because I was genuinely worried about John winning, for a long time, perhaps longer than I should have been worried. I think it was a bit of paranoia on my part. As I've said, France is the only nation I like to play more than Turkey, and I tend to overestimate France's chances in most games I play in.

An opportunity did present itself, though, and not coincidentally that opportunity presented itself at about the same time that I would be able to make one final push for victory. So I stabbed Cal for the three centers (I was also happy about that; I'd assumed for a long time that I would only be able to get two from him on the turn of my stab, but as a result of moves that Cal himself proposed, I was able to finagle three), and moved into position in the north.

Now, had Pitt acted the way that I would have acted, I would have won this game. Basically, I view any elimination as an elimination. If I'm not in the final draw, who cares whether the end result is a solo or a three-way for the others? In fact, if I've been stabbed by someone such that it results in my own demise, I'll do my damnedest to try to throw the game to the non-stabber. This builds credibility for my not infrequent throw-game-leverage threats, and it shows people that stabbing poorly (since of course, any stab of me must be a poor decision, right? ;) ) has certain consequences.

In this game, John had brutally stabbed Pitt on more than one occasion, as had Jamie at least once, I believe. And they were unquestionably about to make the final stab which would cut down on the draw size, too. Everyone knew it. The writing was on the wall. Meanwhile, I had never once stabbed Pitt, and had supported him on a number of occasions. So I thought I'd be on pretty reasonable grounds to ask Pitt to move STP-FIN, and support me in STP in the fall if he got into FIN. If he'd done that, I'd have won.

I was surprised, though, when he flatly rejected me. He knew that he was going out, but he still wouldn't let me win. I was disappointed, and although normally I would have tried to sway him, from his tone I knew that he wasn't going to do it. So I pulled back defensive and established my stalemate line (well, actually I was a bit forward of the stalemate line, as a sort of offensive defense). And then it was over. John and I exchanged a few perfunctory e-mails about a two-way, but I suspected he'd back off of that proposal, and he did. Then we called it.

The keys to this game for me were the three crucial turns that I describe above, first the taking of SEV, then the stab of Edi, and finally the stab of Cal. Each marked the passing of a game phase for me, from openings to mid to end. And even though I wasn't able to pull off the solo, even though the game ended up a three-way like we all had suspected, I'm happy with the way this game turned out, especially considering my beginnings. I'll take a 17-center three-way with a few ``almost wins" any day, especially among this crowd.

I had a great time, and I salute all of my esteemed colleagues. My only regrets are that Pitt wasn't able to participate more fully (for obvious reasons; and I hope things get better soon), and that Mark seemed to have some hard feelings about the game. Regardless, I hope to see you all again in another game. And Edi, I hope I haven't completely torched my credibility with you...this was just an anomaly, I swear it! :)

(EDI WROTE): If you had not stabbed me I felt fairly secure that I could continue in the balance act between Germany and France to the extent that would have allowed us as an alliance to breakthrough any western stalemate line.

(HOHN REPLIED): Didn't John stab Pitt on the same turn I stabbed you? If so, that defeats your argument of any kind of ``balancing act" existing between F and G.

(EDI WROTE): Austria still showed some substantial influence there. Your stab took away that influence from the East and replaced it with an obvious and overbearing front runner.

(HOHN REPLIED): John was also doing quite well, and as the board did not unite against me right after I stabbed, I feel your claim here is also erroneous. Sure, I was a front runner, but then to get to 18, you eventually have to show your stuff.

(EDI WROTE): If there were the two of us in the East we could easily have parlayed our mutual reputations to continue to dominate the board diplomatically as well as militarily as the rest would still be in tension over the prospects of either one of us stabbing the other.

(HOHN REPLIED): You are speaking with the benefit of complete knowledge and hindsight here, Edi. Sure, you know that you weren't planning to stab me, and that if we'd been able to get you out of your predicament, that you would have stayed with me. I didn't know that for sure, not by any stretch. I know how good you are, Edi, and even though we've always worked well together in FTF games, DIAS PBEM is a very different beast. I was always concerned with the stab from you. So when an opportunity presented itself to take you out, I took it. And I don't think it was a bad decision, not at all.

(EDI SAID): This would have allowed you to have a better opportunity for a stab later with a chance for victory or even a two way draw with myself or one of the other Western powers.

(HOHN REPLIED): A two-way between you and me would have been impossible, based on geography. As for stabbing you for the win, I suppose that if everything worked out perfectly, that would have been possible, but my estimates of the probability of that happening differ from yours, apparently.

(ENGLAND): I have a couple of things to say about Hohn's comments. First, about Pitt's ending: ``In this game, John had brutally stabbed Pitt on more than one occasion, as had Jamie at least once, I believe.'' Never, though I had *been* stabbed by Pitt more than once. I sure would have stabbed him if I'd had a chance, but I never did get one! (Until the last year, of course.)

(HOHN SAID): And they were unquestionably about to make the final stab which would cut down on the draw size, too. Everyone knew it. The writing was on the wall.

(JAMIE REPLIED): I wonder why you thought this was so obvious.

(HOHN SAID): So I thought I'd be on pretty reasonable grounds to ask Pitt to move STP-FIN, and support me in STP in the fall if he got into FIN. If he'd done that, I'd have won.

(JAMIE REPLIED): Yes, you would have won. If Pitt had been completely on top of things, he probably would have thrown it to you then. But, if he were really completely on top of things, he wouldn't have let the game *get* to that stage. (I explained this a bit in my eog statement.) I was counting on this fact, myself.

(HOHN to EDI): Didn't John stab Pitt on the same turn I stabbed you?

(JAMIE REPLIED): Yes, the stabs were simultaneous. In 1905. (I can't remember which season, though. I can check on Monday.)

(WHEN HOHN SAID): If so, that defeats your argument of any kind of ``balancing act" existing between F and G.

(JAMIE REPLIED): It kind of does, doesn't it?

(STILL HOHN to EDI): As for stabbing you for the win, I suppose that if everything worked out perfectly, that would have been possible, but my estimates of the probability of that happening differ from yours, apparently.

(JAMIE ASKED): Just out of curiosity, what do you think the chance was? I would factor into two elements. First, there is the chance that you and Edi could have beaten whatever westerners resisted you. And second, there is the chance that *given you could overcome the westerners together*, you rather than Edi would have gotten the win. (The final chance is the product of those two factors.) My view is that the first of these two was very low, but the second was fairly high. (In fact, one reason I think the first is low is that the second is so high!)

(WHEN HOHN ASKED): Edi, I'd be interested, then, in how you would have gone about achieving the rules change in the game we just played.

(EDI REPLIED): If I had achieved 18 centers in a spring move and then turned around to you and said either vote for a two way to Hohn and I or face being a loser in a win you would have gone along with the 2 way...and Hohn knows that I would have voted for it also just to make a point.

(jserandos of as OBSERVER): Why would that make me, a hapless power not being offered a spot in the draw, go along with it? What do I care if Hohn adds one more success to his career? Remember, you have to get everyone to agree, not the just the happy few being offered a spot in the winner's circle.

(ENGLAND SAYS): Aha! A great recipe for making everyone vote for a two-way draw.

Step One: get to 18 centers in a Spring move, making sure that nobody could take any of them back in the Fall.

Step Two: propose draw.

Step Three: vote for draw.

I'm going to try this next game I play. Of the three steps, two seem quite simple indeed!

(EDI REPLIES): Each person has his values and what is important in the event that he does not win. In John's case I think HE would agree. In your case maybe another approach is needed. There is an old saying from the sixties on Diplomacy: it is the seven pieces around the table that are more important than the 34 pieces on it.

(JAMIE GETS THE LAST WORD): Now I'm getting shivers down my spine. The last time someone called me a 'piece', well, let's just say in the end I married her.

(YOUR BOOBISH GM): Actually, more comments surely will follow next time. Any comments from the postal readers of the szine will be cheerfully accepted and printed.

FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE: 1995 W, Regular Diplomacy


Winter 1910

FRANCE (Pustilnik): bld a par, PLAYS TWO SHORT; has a PAR, f NTH, a BUR, a TYO,

f SKA, a GAL, f SWE, f STP(NC), f DEN, f HEL, a KIE, a RUH.

ITALY (Williams): bld a ven, f nap; has a VEN, f NAP, a TRI, a SER, a MUN, a GRE,

f ADR, a ALB, f AEG, f BUL(SC). RUSSIA (Rothenheber): rem a ber; has a SIL, a WAR, a VIE, a BUD, a UKR, a BOH,

a SMY, f BAL, a RUM, f CON.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Jonas Johnson, 3649 SE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97202, (503) 238-4430 ($3) EcidLor of ENGLAND: John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041.

FRANCE: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651 ($8)

GERMANY: Hank Alme, 5157 Norma Way #217, Livermore, CA 94550, (510) 606-7265 ($3)

almehj of

ITALY: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947 ($3)

dwilliams of

RUSSIA: Ed Rothenheber, 11757 Lone Tree Court, Columbia, MD 21044, (410) 740-7269 ($1)

Rothenheber_Ed of

TURKEY: David Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722, (603) 882-3523 ($4)

rebhuhn of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) A concession to Russia and an IF draw are proposed. Please vote with your Spring orders. Anyone who fails to vote automatically vetoes both proposals.


(OFFICIAL FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE QUOTE OF THE SEASON): ``Morality trains the individual to be a function of the herd and to ascribe value to himself only as a function. The conditions for the preservation of different communities were very different; hence there were very different moralities. Considering essential changes in the forms of future herds and communities, states and societies, we can prophesy that there will yet be very divergent moralities. Morality is herd instinct in the individual." Part of Aphorism 116 of Book Three of The Gay Science.

(R. W. EMERSON - F. NIETZSCHE): ``...And I confess to some pleasure from the stinging rhetoric of a rattling oath in the mouths of truckmen and teamsters. How laconic and brisk it is by the side of a page of the North American Review. Cut these words and they would bleed; they are vascular and alive; they walk and run. Moreover they who speak them have this elegancy, that they do not trip in their speech. It is a shower of bullets, whilst Cambridge men and Yale men correct themselves and begin again at every half sentence.''

(JOHN BOY-BOOB): I always thought this Emerson piece would be a great dig at William Buckley - the arrogant ass - but Nietzsche will do. I love the bleeding words thing. By the way, could ya' send me Daf's address? Thanks! ((John, these literally are the last words of the szine as I type it and the address ain't handy. Daf is at precisely the same address in Renton as she has had for the last ten years. I presume they don't let you keep lots of records, so you have that from the past. If I forget later, remind me again.))

COVINGTON CROSS: 1993 AQ, Regular Diplomacy



Fall 1914

FRANCE (Rauterberg): f ENG-nth, a PIC-bel, a BUR-mun, a RUH-kie, f den-SWE,

a HOL S a ruh-kie, a PIE-tyo, a EDI h, f ADR S a alb-tri, a alb-tri (d ann),

a VEN S a pie-tyo, f ION h, f APU S f ion, f NWY S f den-swe, f TYH S f ion. GERMANY (Zarr): a MUN S a kie, a SIL S a mun, a TYO S a mun, a BER S a kie,

a KIE S f hel-den, a VIE S a tyo, a swe S f hel-den (d r:fin,otb), f NTH-bel, f hel-DEN.

TURKEY (Johnson): a TRI S f gre-alb, a arm-SEV, f EAS-ion, a BUD S a tri, a sev-RUM,

a SER S f gre-alb, a rum-BUL, f gre-ALB, f aeg-GRE.

Supply Center Chart

FRANCE (Rauterberg): bre,par,mar,bel,por,spa,lvp, (has 14, bld 2)
GERMANY (Zarr): mun,kie,ber,den,stp,war, (has 8 or 9, even(r:otb) or rem 1)
TURKEY (Johnson): ank,con,smy,bul,sev,rum,bud, (has 9, bld 1)
Neutral: none (Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Drive, Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339

prosit of

GERMANY: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

RUSSIA: Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02192 ($5)

72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

TURKEY: Stan Johnson, 1254 East Broadway Road #56, Mesa, AZ 85204, (602) 668-1105

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Still a fair amount of movement left in this game, don't you think?


(PARIS to ANKARA): It's funny how we can be so friendly in another game, and be deathly enemies here. Well actually, it speaks well for us both. (PARIS to BERLIN): I'm scared!

COLUMBUS CHILL: 1993 J, Regular Diplomacy


Winter 1916

AUSTRIA (Davis): R a ser otb, a tri-VIE; has a VIE, a BUD.

FRANCE (Zarr): has a BUR, a GAS, f BRE, a MAR, a POR, f SPA(NC), f MID, f ENG.

GERMANY (Jones): has a GAL, a MOS, a BOH, a WAR, a LVN, a TYO, a BEL,

a MUN, a UKR, f DEN, f NWY.

TURKEY (Weiss): bld a con; has a CON, f GRE, f BLA, a BUL, a VEN, a TRI,

a SER, f GOL, a SEV, f WES, f NAF, f PIE, f ADR.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Rick Davis, 2009 Bodega Avenue, Petaluma, CA 94952, (707) 773-1044

redavis914 of FRANCE: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

GERMANY: Charles Jones, 1722 Quail Circle, Corona, CA 91720-4155, (909) 735-8981

RUSSIA: Eric Schlegel, 314 Fords Lane, Aberdeen, MD 21001, (410) 272-3314

TURKEY: Richard Weiss, 195A Estralita Street, Tumon Heights, Guam 96911, (671) 647-3478

rcw of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Note Richard Weiss' new address.


(TUR-BOOB): Can't you follow simple logic. Do I have to explain everything. ((Hyork, hyork, hyork, now I have you in my clutches....)) Okay, the ``darwinianly successful" .... oh, it loses something in the translation. Jeeesues: no wonder you can't follow simple logic, you don't even have a single street address. But, why the hell is Germany asking about living next to 666? More than half the time 664 is next to 666.

(BOOB to TURKEY): Just for fun, I'll pretend that you don't know the reason.... let's just suppose you are right. So what? Can't Germany still ask?? What if there is no 666, how would he know if he didn't ask???

(GERMANY >> > JIM-BOB): You should have considered the 666 question as equilization of abuse. If not we can play on this one some more?

(TUR-YNAMREG): Is there a 1720 or a 1724 Quail Circle street address? And, if so, how do you feel living next door? And, who lives there? Are you sure you aren't an American, and an Ugly one at that, by asking Mr. Boob-nuts such a personal question? ((Actually, he (and you) are just verifying your rights to abuse each other, guaranteed by your continued abuse of me.)) I could understand your asking Mikey Barno since you played with him once in college (you words, not mine), but the esteemed Booby?

(BARNO to JONES): I was glad to read your press last issue. I had gotten the wrong idea from your previous press, of which I had noted: a question about crossgame press, prompting me to write some, to which you responded with negatives about Richard and me; one item which used the news-story format to accuse Richard of homosexuality and sodomy; a bunch of repetitions of ``anyone who won't vote for the draw is an idiot''; and an item denigrating me based on incorrect information as to whether I'd won. The tone of your most recent, more serious item is more appreciated. Jim writes banter to stir people up and to inflict puns on us, but I've never seen him misattribute an item. In fact that's been a point of discussion here, and Jim has shown more concern for it than most people. I may not place my faith in Richard's shooting skills, and he'd stab me if a game situation called for it, but I have faith in him over more important matters.

(GERMANY >> > TURKEY): As you slice up your Austrian ally you also are concerned about my trust in an alliance? I always do exactly what I promise.

(TUR-FRA): I always wanted to get into a three-player end game where each player was trying to win. This is the pure essence of diplomacy and of tactics. This is the basics of the game. Can one of us win? Will this be like the scenario in 1984 by Orwell in which there are three world powers and they keep rewriting history to convince the masses that ``they have always been allied with Turkey and enemies of Germany" (to start working on the subconscious, just an example, heh, heh, heh). Come on, imagine this as fun. How far can you go? How far could any of us go? I plumb guarantee that you can still lose this. And, if you sit there like a ninny, whining about this not being fun, you will. I have no idea (that says it all, ``I have NO idea", but that is besides the point), what value you have or what your goals are. I have no idea how you evaluate a game. Would losing as the smallest country but seeing a big-mouthed, idiot standby like me lose, would that be as satisfying as being in a 4-way draw? Do you only want out now and don't care how? Come on an lighten up, relax, let's have fun.

(GERMANY >> > FRANCE): Thanks for the press. I have been working overtime too, the 1998 budget. Try to slip into the Western Med if you see an opening.

(RICHARD-HAROLD AND CHARLES): You guys are my Christmas present from the hobby. Make no mistake about this game. I am having fun. I am sorry if either of you are not. If you would like me to not be obnoxious in print, tell me, I will change. However, I am very serious that this is an extremely interesting end-game and one which rarely comes along. We can play the ultimate Dip end-game here. It could go on forever, true, but the tension as one person gets a little too large and whether or not we can each adjust, kiss and make-up and then go on for selfish goals while being forced to collaborate, that is why I play. Let's all have fun, however we define it. ((Amen to that!!))

(TUR-BLARNEY BARNO): Did you read what that dude said about you. Keep you F'ing press out of this game. That could wreak havoc on JimBob's printing costs if you start writing stories, or get into one of those other ``let's pass the winter in Yellowstone, I haven't been outside the house for 16 days and there are no more humans to eat" kind of moods.

(BARNO to JONES): By the way, when I published a Dipzine (1979-83), I picked up orphaned games and carried subzines, to help some hobbyists keep going and help others try bigger involvement. When many of the people with whom I attended housecons got really nasty (the same feud that drove Doug Beyerlein from the hobby around the same time), and I stopped publishing, I arranged the transfer of the games and subscriptions to one of the subzine editors. I frequently standby for hard-to-fill variants as well as regular and gunboat games. (This isn't to brag, now that you're no longer questioning my credentials; rather, it's to provide support for the idea that we'd get along fine. Especially if you'll join me in [whispered] a secret alliance to abuse Jim-Bob.)

SUFFREN SUCCOTASH: 1993 AI, Regular Diplomacy



Fall 1910

AUSTRIA (Pustilnik): a SER S a bud-rum, a bud-rum (d ann).

ENGLAND (Hoffman): a STP S a mos, a LVN-pru, f nao-IRI, a mos h (d ann),

f NTH h, f gob-BAL, f NWG S f nth.

FRANCE (James): f spa(sc)-MID, f ENG C a pic-wal, a pic-WAL, a VEN-tri, f BUL(SC)-con,

f eas-SMY, f adr-ION, a TRI-ser, a ARM S f eas-smy, a VIE S GERMAN a gal-bud, f AEG S f eas-smy.

GERMANY (Emmert): f DEN-nth, f BER-pru, a ruh-BEL, a WAR S a sev-mos,

a UKR S a sev-mos, a gal-BUD, a sev-MOS, a RUM S FRENCH a tri-ser.

RUSSIA (Schultz): a ANK S a smy-con, a smy-con (d r:syr,otb), f CON h.

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Pustilnik): ser (has 1, even)
ENGLAND (Hoffman): edi,lvp,lon,nwy,swe,stp (has 6, even)
FRANCE (James): bre,par,mar,por,spa,ven,tun, (has 11, bld 2)
GERMANY (Emmert): mun,kie,ber,den,hol,war,rom, (has 8, bld 4(PLAYS TWO SHORT))
RUSSIA (Schultz): ank,con (has 2 or 3, even(r:otb) or rem 1)
Neutral: none (Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651

ENGLAND: Karl Hoffman, 395 Imperial Way #220, Daly City, CA 94015, (415) 991-2394

KarlHoffmn of

FRANCE: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956

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GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of ITALY: Dan Gorham, PO Box 279, Belmopan, Belize, CENTRAL AMERICA

Danielg of RUSSIA: John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041 TURKEY: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

GM EMERITUS: Garret Schenck, now lost, HELP!

GSchenck39 of - CANCELLED!

Game Notes:

1) An FG draw has been proposed. Please vote with your Winter orders. Remember, if you don't vote, it cannot pass.


(BERLIN to FORMER RUSSIAN ARMY IN BULGARIA): What, did you take Houdini lessons?

(RUSSIA IN EXHILE-WESTERN DRIVEL): If only the proper orders hadn't been ``lost in the ether''. Oh my - woulda-coulda-shoulda-iff'n. And I'm still here.

(STEVE to JIM-BOB): Hey, can I go ahead and build now? I've got a couple of home dots free.

(BOOB to STEVE): And you can hold a few of those builds for the future too.

(VIRGINIA BEACH to BOARD): I won my Rotisserie league this year, and the banquet was last night. I think I still smell vaguely like chocolate goo, despite a thorough shower afterwards. Too bad Sondra is in New York; she might actually like it.

And a P.S. to Providence: I bet you guys in that fantasy league of Caruso's are a bunch of pantywaists. You play with historical statistics, right? Any damn fool can do that. The hard part is deciding who will do well next year. ((Nope. We most definitely do NOT play with historical statistics. We have the same problem of deciding who will do well or poorly next year, although I admit the decision algorithms are a bit screwy. I have to build in the effects of my ballpark (a hitters park) weighted against my defense (far and away the best in the league). Under that scenario, pitchers from other teams do best while keeping my pitchers from year to year is very risky. On top of that, when the real player retires from the real leagues, he's gone from our league. So I do have to decide who will hang on next year and who will not. I have to hang on whether Deion Sanders will come back and whether anyone will be insane enough to sign Wade Boggs.))

(JOHN BOY-KARL): Man, I hate that it was you. I still feel guilty over that stab I pulled on you several years ago.

(BERLIN to LONDON): Don't tell me I can tie up more than half of your units in the east while James slides down your chimney to surprise the wife and kids. Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.

(RUSSIA-TURKEY): Can't tell for sure but I'd say France wants the solo - no matter what's said in the passion of the moment.

(FRANCE to WORLD): Just vote for the FG draw and let's move on to other games. We are enjoying steamrolling over you all, but the outcome is certain. Vote ``Yes" now and you survive - you won't get a vote later.

(RUSSIA-FRANCE): Never pity this player my friend - I'll jump up and bite ya'!

(ARMY WALES to LONDON): It's true, Britain is nice this time of year. Don't worry - we are just stopping by for a brief visit. If we do decide to stay don't worry, look how well we have treated Italy. I bet it is time to play guessing games.

(FRANCE to AUSTRIA): It looks like you will hold on for another year. Sorry if you were hoping to be out of your misery now. If you don't want to carry on, retreat to Albania.

(RUSSIA-JAMES): I feel better now that you proved it wasn't a lock from the start. Now, prove you know how it was meant to be played. Hint-hint!

(FRANCE AND GERMANY to AUSTRIA): Is it OK if we take your last home dot now?

(JOHN BOY-BOOB): I love these guys!!

Personal Note to You:

File translated from TEX by TTH, version 1.0.