September 26, 1997 3

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287 Accessible through Internet at burgess of; FAX to (401) 277-9904

``It stunts their mental growth, And makes it hard to find, A future livelihood;

Or others of their kind, The marching band it seems, The voyeurs in the stands;

The refs and both the teams, Are all the raving fans for, Cheerleaders on drugs;

It seems like they must be, On drugs or just stupid, They're buoyant and busty;

And just plain dumb, The drug interaction, Could just be some teamwork;

Their forces and factions, Make them sound like: Go you Injuns....''

From ``Cheerleaders on Drugs'' by Uncle Bonsai; see exchange with Brad Wilson in the letters section.

Note that the big news for this issue is a second phone line into my house, primarily to be used for modem connections, but also connected directly to the FAX machine. Thus, you can send me FAX orders and press at any time of the day or night! Well, don't do it TOO late since it is just one room away from my bedroom.

This issue is dedicated to Mike Barno's housemate Christian Bowers, who died after being hit by lightning while riding his motorcycle. See Mike and Randy's comments on the event below and the news story in the center of the szine.

The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada. You can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and new game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $15.00 ($10.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). The current game opening for Colonial Diplomacy will start as soon as I get money from seven players since Nekayah has now ended. For more on this, see below. Also note that more results for the demo game are included. Remember that music comments and reviews are scattered through the game press at times.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

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sent to majordomo of gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!! Note that everything has been moved to the site. See David's letter below. The Cal Tech ftp site is being mirrored on the machine as well. Issues of The Abyssinian Prince #131 to the present are available via anonymous FTP from in the pub/diplomacy/Zines/TAP directory in compressed postscript format. The gracious assistance of Kevin Roust is most appreciated in keeping up this site. The files begin and go sequentially from there. Since it's UNIX based, all of those upper and lower cases are important. If anyone wants help from me on doing this, they only have to ask and I can help you determine if you have access to FTP which stands for File Transfer Protocol and can handle postscript files. The Caltech site is at:

or check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch at its brand new address with all of the information you would need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at:

In addition, through Jamie McQuinn's portion of the Pouch, or directly through:

you can access the mirror site to Caltech and get to the szine that way.

In a relatively NEW development, the szine also is available as a PDF file, readable with Adobe Acrobat's free reader. If you already have Adobe's reader on your computer, you can E-Mail me for a copy. I am still in test mode with this.... you pretty much have to print the szine to look at it as it just won't clear up on the screen. Any of you who have NOT E-Mailed me about this test can still do so. After I test this for a bit, I will have TWO E-Mail subscription lists so you can choose PDF file, TeX source file, or both at your leisure.


No one found Jerry Lucas within the time period, so he goes into the backlog - don't let those guys stay unfound. But, our next person is Scott Hanson. For the first time in this contest, I have done some preliminary searching for Scott and think I have found him. I did not attempt to contact him. Scott was the editor of Irksome and I originally started The Abyssinian Prince when Scott folded Irksome and I wanted to pick up the hobby's unofficial annual music lists. Scott was the originator of that idea around 1980 or so. Scott hung around a bit and then drifted out of the hobby in the mid to late 80's. I will offer no hints other than this right now, but I've got lots more to offer if no one finds Scott quickly.

This is now going to be a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Mike Mills or Garret Schenck or Jerry Lucas is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Bid on PDORA items, subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for. This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. For Scott Hanson you need to get him to write me a MUSIC letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.


The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 30 Poynter Road, Bush Hill Park, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 1DL, UK (johnh of The representives in Australia (John Cain, PO Box 4317, Melbourne University 3052, AUSTRALIA) or Belgium and some other European countries (Jef Bryant, Rue Jean Pauly, 121, B-4430 ANS, BELGIUM) also will forward your subscription on to the editor in either Australian dollars or continental European currencies respectively. Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

Obviously, I'm not anywhere close to getting back around to doing international szine reviews, but who knows, I might pick it up again at any time. I actively am searching for more international traders.

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

I alluded to the Orphan Service last time and made an error. Officially, Jason Wilke is the Orphan Service director; however, lately his OWN games have been severely delayed. Somehow I got the mistaken idea that Jason had handed the job back to Paul Kenny (probably invented out of my own Alzheimer infested mind and the fact that Paul did do it while Jason was in Germany). Instead, I make note of the fact that having the Orphan Service director with his own timeliness problems is not a good situation.

On a lighter note, Kathy Caruso and Francine Byrne have been on my case about NOT informing them in a timely manner of the imminent marriages of two of Dipdom's formerly MOST highly eligible bachelors... I think Francine in particular is quite sorry to be losing such attractive potential mates. I, in turn, got on their case for refusing to read this most fascinating szine where I tell all I know and lots that I don't know. Anyway, I speak, of course, of Flap Jack and Sludge - otherwise known as Jack McHugh and Bob Olsen. I pass along to them the very best wishes for the future. Francine and I continue to torture Gary Behnen who continues to show gross ineptitude in managing his team in John Caruso's baseball league. I followed up last year's World Series victory with a very mediocre rebuilding season, but I still finished WAY ahead of Gary's team. I'll let you know who ultimately wins the World Series, but former Boardman Number Custodian Don Ditter has my vote as most likely to manage it as the playoffs begin.

Let's now go to Terry and his comments on the recent DipCon....

Terry Tallman (Mon, 15 Sep 1997 10:44:18 -0700 (PDT))

DipCon took place in Seattle last month. About 25 players (I don't have the final results in front of me). The con was won by Chris Mazza of Connecticut. He was a student at the Udub for a number of years and had played at Dragonflight a number of times in the past so for all practical purposes he is a local. He has also played at several of the east coast cons since he moved back east. Two guys from the east coast besides Chris, whose names I don't remember, one was there primarily to support the Dixiecon bid. Edi Birsan was the primary hobby old fart there, at least that played. Walt Buchanan and Doug Beyerlein came by to see Edi but didn't talk to us ``little people" on the boards. After seventeen years in the hobby it's nice to know I am still not recognized by the REAL old farts. Edi had a proposal to rearrange the areas where the con goes. Instead of the current four zones he wants two, basically north and south of the Mason Dixon line. This sucks, in my humble opinion. We were able to keep it from passing in Seattle but someone needs to be geared up to defeat it again at Dixie Con. The main objection I have is that instead of competing with other west coast sites we would be competing with Chicago and the midwest and New York/New England. Southern California's only real competition becomes the Maryland folks. Part of Dip Con's charm has been that sometimes it has fallen in with big cons and sometimes small ones and sometimes it just ambles off on its own. Anyway I played in the first two rounds and passed on the final. In the first round I was England and Edi Birsan was Russia. The board was filled with competent players and every time someone made any kind of a run someone else would swing and stop them. The end result was a 7 way draw. I think that might have been my first one at Dragonflight over the last 15 years. Edi wanted me to stay off him and fight Germany but he seemed like the greater threat. Ultimately Germany and I wound up in central Russia. But because Buz was using the hokey European rules where the game ends in 1908 we couldn't wriggle around and try to eliminate a couple of folks. We decided at the end of 1906 that nothing was going to happen to stun anyone in two game years and called the seven way. Both the other boards in the first round were big draws. Second round I drew Austria and died ugly. Part of that is I don't really like to have to whine and beg to keep a one dot position alive. Buz on the other hand is a rabid ratings player and rigs the rules so that his one dot survivals count as much as any other finish in a draw. So the fact that he came in second in the con is extremely misleading. It proves that even mediocre play can pay off if you use wishy washy scoring systems. Sunday was finals and I knew I would have to send a postal worker with an Uzi in to clear the room if I was to do well so I wandered off to watch the game auction after Buz filled all the boards. A few postal folks there-Eric Ozog just on Sunday, Cathy on Saturday and she went role playing. Ken Corbin and Joan Extrom. They both avoided dip like the plague but daughter Samantha played a round. Edi Birsan who was there primarily to bitch at Buz about how lightly the con was advertised on the net and in szines. However the bulk of the western Washington postal players were not there and most have never played at Dragonflight. Jim Meinel stopped by with his son but couldn't stay and play.

In 1985 we had over 60 people play dip but we used my format where we started rounds every five hours and it was possible to play 7 rounds. The format Buz used with rounds Friday night, Saturday morning and Sunday morning allowed you to get a lot more sleep but really meant that local folks who might have fit in a round or two couldn't if they had other events they were running or were interested in. The bid was put together by Buz and Scott McConnachie with the premise that we would get far more participation from the Dragonflight hardcores than actually occurred. It would have been nice to hold it as a stand alone con in the early summer, perhaps with Dragonflight as the sponsoring organization. This would have allowed us access to their base of about 600 gamers who wouldn't have had anything else to play that weekend. Anyway, I will miss Dragonflight next year. It falls on my anniversary and I have spent 8 of my last 9 anniversaries (number 3 was spent in the Udub hospital recovering from heart surgery) at Dragonflight. I have been informed that if I am at Dragonflight for number 10 there will be no number 11. So.......

Terry, ttallman of

Jeff Perkins (Sun, 21 Sep 1997 00:45:35)

I can only agree with you about PBM's where the Judge is concerned. But these days I play entirely email (used to play PBM, used to edit 1.25 zines) BUT with human GM's. Under postal I found that geographical proximity/ technology advantages gave certain players advantages (close enough for local calls or fax/email access) - how many serious players only diplome via the post? - but despite having to cope with timezone differences making it hard to use chat programs to get immediate reaction and interactive discussion The speed of email communication allows quick communication with more intense involvement and gives access to the world (I've played in international games and they are sssssslllllooooowwwww by mail). I find reasonable levels of press - not as many one liners or short para's as in PBM's where those long gaps and the use a of stamp lead one to want to get Value out of that there letter, more longer pieces, more quick witty exchanges.

I experienced a period of major zine crashing in Australia in the early-mid 90's (at least mine neatly finished off every game) and the large collectives not relying on individuals to publish regularly and reliably offer greater security and less of the disenchantment that accompanies the collapse of a zine which you have invested years in with multiple positions some well placed (a couple of victories escaped me with one collapse a probably one with another - the games salvaged didn't include these!)

Jeff, jperkins of


Randy Ellis (Sept 13)

Jim, I'll likely be in Flagstaff briefly. Sometime in November, I'll have a COA to Florida (I'll be working in the Everglades this winter...) ((Great, you'll keep racking up those Address changes...))

Life has been a bit crazy lately. I bought a VW bus for $900. Unbeknownst to me, the oil cap did not fit properly. ((I'll bet that's related to Mike's comments below that parts (presumably especially foreign car parts) are hard to find out your way. Somebody couldn't find the right size part and probably tried to fit what they could find.)) Three days after buying the car, the engine was no more. Now, I'm cutting my losses and selling the car (I will never buy a Volkswagen again!!) for half what I paid for it. ((Now that's a Barno move....))

I've been working lots since all the college students are gone. Then - just the other day - a friend of mine (and roommate of Mike Barno's) died. He was 23.... he was killed by lightning while riding his motorcycle... too weird.

Randy, on the move to 119 S. Florence, #D2, Flagstaff, AZ 86001

Tony Dickinson (21 Sep 97 01:23:56)

Dear Jim, Thanks for T.A.P. ... received it yesterday. Thought I'd be `efficient' for once! Cheers for the news that we're trading, certainly a first for me! Somewhat of a novelty for a subzine to be trading!!! ((Well, I've offered it to Louise, so it wouldn't be fair not to offer it to you as well. Besides, I was a subszine once and have a soft place in my heart for them.))

I've noticed some of the strange americanisms in T.A.P. ... namely;

1. The funny paper size, i.e. not quite A4, but CLOSE, I'll suppose. ((It's in inches, 8.5 by 11.)) 2. A winter adjustment / adjudication in the dip. games separate to the Autumn turn! Different. ((Actually, that's pretty unique to me...))

I've been thinking of joining an e- mail dip. game for while now, maybe I'll even get around to it one day! Well I really must be going, thing to do n' aall that, so until the next time all the best and take care,

Yours Sincerely, Tony, L'n'P. Tony of

P.S. The new `Chumbas' album is excellent, get if you get chance! Yeah Fate is a wonderful thing, good timing maybe. I believe that the album is going to be released in america sans lyrics re the copyright over the graffiti side of things, plus other things ... enjoy anyways! Until we can get the full sleeve notes to you neck of the woods ... keep the faith.

((I just got it but am trying to get the szine out first, I'll probably listen to it while stuffing envelopes. More next issue. The single does ``top the charts'' at the local rock radio station.))

Drew James (Sun, 14 Sep 1997 15:35:52 -0400 (EDT))

Jim, I really enjoyed your TAP issues with the best albums of 1996. Being a fan of a lot of the ska groups from the '80s I was intrigued by your review of the Undercover S.K.A. I have not been able to locate any CDs by them on any of the on-line music stores that I have tried. Can't you point me in the right direction for where I might get a hold of one of their CDs?

((They produce on the Solo Records label, PO Box 629, Fairfax, CA 94978, (415) 455-9444, solopro of for E-Mail, you choose your medium. They really are worth it!))

Thanks, Drew James, JAMESDAA of

Mark Wightman (Fri, 19 Sep 1997 15:43:54)

Jim, Thanks for the copies of TAP. What with contributions from Stretchy and Sharky Duxon it was almost like picking up a UK zine. ((Yeah, my Brits write more than the Americans at times.)) Yes I would love to trade. What Mark didn`t explain was that the forthcoming Issue 21 is in reality my first issue in charge as the other twenty were as a subzine. I`ve simply swapped roles with the previous editor. I eventually got it to the printers today, so should be with you in 10 days approx. ((Great, I look forward to it.))

I loved all the music stuff, especially being reminded of the existence of the Mekons. I just spent twenty minutes rumaging through my old 45`s to see if I still had any of their stuff. Alas it must be in the box in my parents attic. I did find a punk compilation CD with `Work all week' on it, not one of their best if I recall. Still had to listen to it though. It`s quite a good CD with lots of my old favourite tracks from Magazine and Stiff Little Fingers on it. Now Magazine, they were a cracking band.

((The ``new '' Mekons release I mentioned last time turned out to be a re-release of their second album - which just happened to be the only album of theirs I know about that I don't own. Their total output is approaching two dozen now. Devil's Rats and Piggies - A Special Message from Godzilla, being their second album, is heavily in their ``punks who can barely play their instruments'' phase. It is not one of their best and probably is most appropriate for completists like me. The biggest gain is that this has ``Another Set of Teeth'' on it. A great early Mekons song that I've heard live a few times, but this is the first time it ever has been released in a recording. That song and ``Killer Ken'' are added to what was on the original album. ``Another Set of Teeth'' is one of the first songs where they really let Susie Honeyman go wild on the violin. Susie is really shy and it was a great song for tweaking her into the foreground live.))

Some stuff I can`t stop listening to at the moment -

Paula Cole - This Fire - First three tracks are magic, particularly ``Throwing Stones'' which my neighbours probably hate the volume I play it at. Includes ``Hush hush hush'' a duet with Peter Gabriel, so she must have made it big by now. Thank you's on the album include Pal Shazar, Melissa Etheridge and Sarah McLachlan - who she reminds me of at times.

Tracey Bonham - The importance of being upright - Should come with a sticker on the front saying `Play louder than the law permits'. Brilliant stuff. How she hasn`t destroyed her voice performing ``Mother Mother'' live I`ll never know.

Oasis - Be here now - OK. So it reminds you of every other record that you have ever heard but it certainly grows on you quickly. Stand out track for me is ``Fade in out'' but nobody in my local pub agrees and it hardly ever gets played on the jukebox (they are an odd bunch though).

Well, that`s all I`ve got time for at the moment.

Cheers, Mark, M.WIGHTMAN of

PS - Perhaps you or one of your subscribers could help me out with some info re Melissa Ferrick (I`m a big fan). I heard that she had been signed to an independent record label WAR (what are records?) and had released a new (live?) album called Melissa Ferrick +1, I think. All the record outlets over here think I`m making WAR up when I ask them to order it, so they must be quite a small outfit. Any ideas? ((Not off the top of my head, but I will look. Anyone else??))

Richard Weiss (Sun, 24 Aug 97 11:42:02 PDT)

Jim: On a sidetrack, the Leadership course ((that he has been telling me about separately, but wouldn't interest the rest of you much - this looked like it would.)) had required reading of Joseph Jaworski's Synchronicity: The Inner Path to Leadership. I thought I was reading a management tone-down of The Celestine Prophecy. There is a lot of quantum physics being used to describe New Age mysticism. Harry Andruschak and others parallel my agnostic-atheism, but since only the positive can be proven there never will be proof about many things. However, the interconnectedness of everything, the warp distortion which the conscious mind creates as it lives in the past and how that ties into one's beliefs is very interesting. As we approach the Millenium, which even Clinton is puss-footing about the true instant of change, I'm sure we will hear every more and be ever more influenced.

((The distortions people make to ten dimensional string theories of the nature of matter (on the Internet and elsewhere) are truly laughable. The view of the Big Bang as a four dimensional (three plus time) expansion that leaves the other six dimensions on the other side of the mirror does make intuitive sense to me though.))

Today, partly due to TAP, I spent performing a task I've long imagined. I made a database of my CDs. I think I have 130+. I read recently that only men collect CDs or count them, since it is a form of possession and ego/self-esteem statement. ((Probably true. I do that sort of thing and Charlotte definitely doesn't. Since I don't play vinyl much any more, though, I really appreciate that I have my 2000 plus vinyl records organized so I can find what I want - whereas Charlotte has her 500 or so completely disorganized where it is really hard to find what you want.)) Ooops. However, since I lost 2/3 of my collection, when I am in a store, I forget what I have and what I lost; so, I needed a list. To put it in Access seemed very reasonable, portable, etc. I had an interesting time categorizing them. I only used one column. I wanted to group rather than split. Stereolab was one that was a hard sort. I think I put them in ``Alternative," since I was using that more like an ``other" category than in the 90's sense of Nirvana, etc. Alternative, Blues, Country, Dance, Dead, Female, Jazz, New Age, NOLA, Percussion, Rock, Soundtracks, Xmas, World, and ``To Buy" - I believe those were my categories. It's interesting that I've always had a special section for music that features female vocalists. I don't really care what genre it is, sometimes I want to hear a women's voice (well, frequently, but maybe that is another topic) and so put them all together. How No Doubt, Jocelyn Enriquez, Bonnie Raitt, and Sophie B. Hawkins fit together otherwise is that they don't. However, the country musicians, even if female, stay down in the female section of the shelving.

Last night after sending orders, I read the rest of the szine. I saw my name in print. What a thrill. I saw Undercover S.K.A. a few years ago (5?) in a small venue (Slim's?) in SF. They put on a good show. And I had them on a compilation disc. Good to know that they have a CD that is good. I put it on my ``To Buy" list, along with the Toasters and the Skalers you mentioned.

I will probably get Ghod's release at some time as I'm perusing a bin somewhere. He's occasionally very fun. I just finished listening to Vanessa Mae-The Violin Player for the third time this weekend. Great. ((See below where Brad Wilson disagrees with you.)) Now I'm listening to a bargain I picked up, Joan Jett's Greatest. Ever since hearing her wipe out all memories of Tommy James bubblegum, ``Crimson and Clover" I've wanted to hear more, at my leisure. ((You should pick up her VERY early Runaways work. The Runaways were a great female band until the men managing them screwed them up. Some great songs!))

Also today I went through all my old issues (only about sine #182) of TAP to cull back out the music reviews that sounded interesting to me. Which made me type Sonny Seals again. ((It's ``Son Seals''.)) Nah, I never heard of him. Yeah, sounds like it's my kind of musician. This is way enough.

S'later and thank YOU for having a zine and for letting me have so much fun in Columbus Chill. Playing for the Game rather than a result is liberating.

Richard, rcw of

((You're welcome, it's purely my pleasure, but this is the last words I'm typing before closing things out for the szine, so I really must get going. I want to get to the Chumbawamba CD!))

Brad Wilson (10 September 1997)

Dear Jim: A quick run through TAPs 193 and 194:

#193: Your music stuff invigorated me, and I enjoyed every word of it. Can you believe I have never heard the Mekons? ((Well, probably....)) Hard to believe. I heard Stereolab when I was living in Chicago and had real progressive radio to listen to. I enjoyed what I heard and I have thought of ordering a CD through the record club or buying a used one. I will certainly do so now. ((They have a new record out this week, which I have just purchased, but not listened to yet...)) You and I are in perfect agreement on Los Lobos and Richard Thompson, as usual, even to the point of relishing the ``Buddy Ebsen" piece on Colossal Head. I can't help but think You? Me? Us? just a tad disappointing by Ghod's standards. That is because it lacks the awesomely touching ballad that almost every other Ghod record has: ``End of the Rainbow", ``Love in a Wounded Country," ``Beeswing", ``Al Bowlly's In Heaven", etc. ((The last one you mention is the one that STILL always makes me cry, no matter how many times I've heard it. More than ``awesomely touching'' these ballads are bittersweet in a particular way that no one else can touch. It is, though, very difficult to describe precisely how Ghod does it in mere words.)) Now, ``disappointing" by Ghod's standards means merely awesome, and I am delighted to have the record.

If you are ever in Philadelphia on business and have a craving for martinis even without Combustible Edison, who sound awesome, I strongly suggest Frank Clements' Tavern on South 15th St just above Locust. A martini, to my mind, is the perfect cocktail in the pre-meal preparation of the palate sense of cocktail, and the old grumpy bartender at Clements does them as well as any. ((I was really surprised just how wonderful they were. Funny how one can go years drinking all sorts of strange concoctions and never try something as basic as the Gin Martini. When I was in college and doing most of the experimentation, that just never came up in the mix...)) I prefer Bombay Gin, dry vermouth and an olive or three. Gourmet olives, such as those already soaked in gin (``drunken") or with) extra-hot stuffings, aren't bad either.

Ska: just let me say I have fallen in love with this music. I am planning a big ska article in Vertigo #116 (that won't be just about music) and don't want to give too much away. But ska as pure energy - cf The Toasters - is hard to top.

Richman and Parker: again, we feel the same way, although broke old me couldn't get their latest. Parker I go 'way back with - one of my first 50 music purchases was Squeezing Out Sparks - and his bitter cynicism fits my style. Richman's wide-eyed wonder and innocence - his song ``That Summer Feeling" breaks my heart - would seem to be the opposite but I like him too. ((Yeah, it amazes you that he can keep it going like that for so long. He now is on a schedule where he comes to Providence twice a year (including later this month when I WILL NOT MISS HIM), and each time he plays two nights. Once in a small hole in the wall club, and then in the larger Lupo's Heartbreak Hotel next door the next night. They are offering a special two-fer for twelve bucks to attend both shows. He has SO many songs that it takes two nights to get through them all. But, more importantly, he and his public WANT to do it that way. Amazing.)) Richman suffers a little bit in my listening because Steve Goodman crowds him out a little. ((Well, that is understandable, although I see them as being rather different. Anyone who doesn't have the 2CD Steve Goodman compilation recording yet should go out behind the barn and take themselves out of their misery in short order. To avoid that fate, go take in some Goodman.))

I have to take you to task about ``three names will stand out in the history of 20th century songwriting" thing. Even leaving aside ``art" or ``classical" songs - those of Barber, Debussy, Schoenberg, Rorem, Webern, Babbitt, Ives, Vaughan Williams, Hoiby, Berg, Poulenc, and Warlock, just to name a few - what about this group, just from one tradition: Jerome Kern, Irving Berlin, Richard Rodgers-Oscar Hammerstein, Hoagy Carmichael, Duke Ellington, Cole Porter, Johnny Mercer, Harold Arlen, Stephen Sondheim, Leonard Bernstein, that Gershwin guy, Sammy Cahn-Jimmy Van Heusen, and Lerner-Loewe? Or from another totally different tradition: Dozier-Holland-Dozier, Willie Dixon, Muddy Waters, Smokey Robinson, Marvin Gaye, or Robert Johnson? Or a third tradition: Steve Goodman, Jerry Garcia-Robert Hunter, Bob Dylan, and Leonard Cohen? Still say there's just ``three"? ((Yes, because you misunderstood me. You made my point more explicit for me. Each of the songwriters/composers you list above fits into a tradition, into a grouping with the artists you mention and, of course, others. What I would argue (and not that these are the only ones in that category, but they might be the most significant) is that these three songwriters stand outside traditions, transcend the traditions they are usually associated with, and do so in a way that is uniquely theirs. Mose Allison fits in that category the best. He usually is ``classified'' as a jazz singer/composer, but that association strikes me as woefully inadequate. Apart from the comparisons one could make to other styles, what jazz musician would you compare to Allison? I can't think of even one. And the depth and range of his compositions is timeless. I readily agree that Costello and Morrison may not be up to those standards, but they have the same characteristics to some degree. So.... if you are going to dispute me (and what would be the point of a music letter column if we couldn't discuss these sorts of things!) what you need to do is to disparage one or more of these three people's composing talents OR mention people who can be directly compared to them in style and talent.)) I don't think much of the Glass-Eno-Bowie collaboration. Sounds like New Age fluff to me, or diluted rock at best. I do enjoy all three gentlemen's work - Glass' string quartets are brilliant, Eno's work with John Cale original and deep and Bowie has done at least rock classics, Ziggy Stardust and Let's Dance, a hypnotic record - but together? Sorry - sounds like they checked their originality at the studio door. I am dubious about these cross-pollinations. Usually the classical performer sounds hopelessly square while the rocker-jazz people are inhibited by the unfamiliar structure they labor in. ((I completely agree, I generally make precisely those kinds of assertions.)) Take, for example, Ornette Coleman's ``Skies of America" he did this summer with the NYPO and Masur in NYC. I find Masur an above-average conductor, the NYPO a very good orchestra at this point and I revere Coleman, who's up there with Coltrane in my jazz pantheon. But together? It was a mess. I would Iike to hear Glass collaborate with one of the few musicians whom I think would lift Glass above banality - George Clinton. Or maybe Roscoe Mitchell. ((HA, HA, HAH.... The thought of Funkadelic Glass just breaks me up.... Yes, that's how you would make Glass visibly vibrate!! But still, I stand on my earlier statement. I listened to the recording a few more times and I really like it. To be honest, I don't see much Eno or Bowie in it, I see mostly Glass. He certainly doesn't ``Funk That!'' but he does make really interesting music. I don't want to oversell the record, but suffice it to say, I went into listening to it REALLY skeptical and I was converted by what my ears heard. Another potentially great recent release that I am still listening to before evaluating is Joe Jackson's Heaven and Hell in a guest star filled journey through the seven deadly sins. At least initially, ``Right'' which grips with Anger is nearly unlistenable, while much of the rest is taking a while to penetrate. I am hopeful that this is all for the good until repeated listenings prove otherwise. In general, though, crossover records make flashy hanging mobiles.))

The other day at Tower I spotted, but was too broke to buy, a CD called The Best of Uncle Bonsai. Uncle Bonsai was a Seattle-based folky trio (imagine Arlo Guthrie, the Roches and Steve Goodman rolled into one) that put out a couple of brilliant LPs in the mid-1980's and have been hard to get in the CD era. This new CD looks like it has the whole A Lonely Grain of Corn LP, which may well make my Top 10 of the century (popular music) list in a couple of years. Boys Want Sex in the Morning was another LP, and there was a CD of Men and Womyn, too. ((I thought it was actually entitled Myn Ynd Wymyn.)) You would like these guys and so would anyone who enjoys witty, clever songs intertwined with biting social commentary and intensely personal ballads. The compilation should be jumped on, and will be by me when I can afford to (and maybe even if I can't). ((OK, but I'm a bit confused. You and others (Pete Gaughan, I believe) have been raving about Uncle Bonsai for years. A couple of years ago, I picked up a live recording compilation that sounds like what you're talking about called The Inessential Uncle Bonsai (Yellow Tail Records YT-10002). It has nineteen songs, including most of those first two records. It is not remastered versions of the original recordings, it is... well, let Andrew Ratshin explain it in his own words: ``The songs on this recording are from various radio/festival broadcasts across the United States. Some are excellent sound quality, some aren't. Some performances are flawed, some aren... well, let's just say some are less flawed. These are live performances of most of the songs from the first two Uncle Bonsai releases; the few that are missing are missing because there were no good recordings to be found.'' As you all know, I usually credit ``compilations of the year'' when I write up my music lists. While I am not as big an Uncle Bonsai fan as you are, they are lots of fun and quite good. I can't recall at this moment whether I didn't mention this record at the time because it actually has a 1992 date on it and I probably bought it in 1993, 1994, or 1995 or because I didn't think it was good enough. Ratshin is being a little more self-deprecating than the result deserves as I dig it out now. You would probably give it a 9/5 rating (music/recording quality) or something like that. I, of course, refuse to do ratings. In any case, ``Cheerleaders on Drugs'' and ``Fat Boys'' are still hilarious. With me being skinny, I really identify with the latter song in MY self-deprecating moods. OR are you talking about some NEW recording with that exact title? I looked at my local record store this week and didn't see it. We should work it out so we can advise our loyal masses....))

Changing gears for Rich Goranson - his Expos paranoia is silly. There's no conspiracy against the Expos any more than there is against (say) Milwaukee, Pittsburgh or Kansas City. It's true that the Expos have been cursed by bad luck, especially the strike (as a White Sox fan I am bitter about that: 1994 was the best Sox team since 1959 if not before). And I admire and envy their ability to produce great player after player in spite of financial restrictions. I think Felipe Alou is the best manager in the game.

But there just isn't any anti-Expos bias any more than there is against any team outside of the huge metro areas. TV ignores them? Get in line. Ask a Royals or Astros fan how often they're on. And this is nothing new - the New York teams dominated the ``Game of the Week" in the 1950's for the same reason Fox gives us the Yanks and Dodgers now. Because it's where the viewers are, silly. I don't like that, but it is the truth and it's the same in any sport. The Dallas Cowboys have huge numbers of fans, so CBS and (now) Fox have gone with the theory, ``When in doubt, give 'em Dallas", for years. NBC regularly features Chicago, New York and LA on its NBA broadcasts, and fans in Utah and Portland feel the way Rich does. Bias does exist in Fox's NHL telecasts: they will not shown Canadian teams as a matter of policy. Thus NHL fans wanting to see Pavel Bure, Jason Arnott, or Alexander Mogilny are out of luck.

On moving the Braves into their division: the Expos (and Phillies, or Mets) could have blocked this had they been as selfish as the Braves and Marlins, who threw fits about being in the Central Division, or the Astros, who refused to go the West. Any team could have stopped the plan by making enough noise - cf. Houston, which killed a plan to go West, or how Tampa Bay, an expansion team, is going to cause this huge realignment because it doesn't want to be in the West. ((Or, worse, that Phoenix refused to go to the American League. My understanding was that expansion team demand was what sent them down this route in the first place. Once Phoenix was going to the National League the rest of the problems evolved out of various domino effects from there.)) But Montreal (and Philadelphia as well) agreed because it seemed to be for the greater good. That's admirable, if stupid, and if Rich wants to blame anyone I suggest he start at the Expo executive suite. I've been mad at the Phillies over kowtowing to Ted Turner on this for years ever since it happened.

I was amused by Rich's anti-New York City comments. Just how is a state government run by Republicans from upstate ``dominated by New York City?" Last time I looked Gov. Pataki and the state senate president were not from NYC. And as for tax dollars going to NYC from Buffalo, I bet that NYC pays far more in state income and sales taxes than it gets back from Albany. This is true in almost every state with a big city. Big cities are net contributors to taxes because that's where the businesses and, many times, the truly wealthy, are. ((That's true, as you explain below, when one properly includes all of the relevant surrounding suburban counties.)) The Philadelphia area (city plus four suburban counties) pays 39 percent of Pennsylvania's taxes and gets 34 percent back. I bet New York's figures (counting, say, Nassau, Suffolk and Westchester) are similar. And don't think, Rich, that the sophisticated, progressive, and tolerant urbanites of Greenwich Village, the Upper West Side and Soho want anything to do with what they see as backward, bigoted and blighted upstate any more than you want anything to do with them.

I sometimes think that DC through Boston - DC; Montgomery, Prince George's, Harford, Anne Arundel, Baltimore, and Cecil Counties in Maryland plus Baltimore City; New Castle County in Delaware; Philadelphia, Chester, Delaware, Montgomery, and Bucks Counties in Pa.; Mercer, Camden, Gloucester, Burlington, Middlesex, Morris, Essex, Union, Bergen, Hudson, and Passaic Counties in New Jersey; NYC plus the three counties above in New York; plus all of Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Rhode Island - should be its own state or two states or even nation. You'd free the urban areas from being dominated by bumpkins and bozos from jerkwater rural areas and allow the cities to thrive in an environment where tolerance, diversity, and sheer urbanity, would be celebrated. Instead, what we have is Philadelphia, say, being micro-managed by a state legislature that thinks Lucifer himself lives in cities. Free the urbanites!

Maria Delamain is a goddess. First of all, she can make Jack shut up, which none of us ever could. ((Yeah, but she does too good a job. When we were debating Brit policy toward Hong Kong, I was hoping Jack would weigh in with his well-considered opinion. Instead I got some fluff from Maria.... just kidding, Maria! I hope you're used to us by now, this is your last warning....)) Second, can this woman cook! I'd have to say a major reason to come to VERTIGO GAMES XII September 4-7, 1998, in Paoli, Pa. is Maria's cooking. Her pasta-and-chicken meals, rum punch (!!), homemade potato salad and brownies are to swoon for. After just two years of VERTIGO GAMES with Maria I honestly don't know how we got along food-wise without her. But I will say this to her letter in #193: if it is possible to be a misogynist in general while liking some women in person as dear friends (Maria, Linda Courtemanche, Donna Higgins, Barbara Pizzirani, Julie Martin, for example) than that's what I am. ((Well, let's just say that I'm not surprised to hear you say it.))

Pete Duxon's comment on being in the minority recalls an argument I was having with my mother once. She said something about how ``most people would" do what she wanted me to do and I did not want to do. I snapped that ``I'm not like most people," and she said, ``Yes, you have worked very hard not to be." She may well be right as you might be in agreeing with Pete that Americans like to be in the minority. Then again under current U.S. standards everyone's a minority. And Pete is dead on about sports' soul being sold to TV: that's why we have World Series games that start at 8:30 p.m. ((And at the end of October in Northern cities, yet!! It's almost a different game.)) But Pete should know that college sports, which he can't understand, are, at the Division III level (and sometimes at higher levels), sport for the love of it. Nothing will bring you closer to the soul of U.S. football than a football game between Swarthmore and Ursinus, or Williams and Amherst, or Lake Forest and Beloit. ((And you knew, of course, that Yale still has the most all-time victories of any college football team, even though now they play a shorter schedule in what is now a backwater - The Ivy League - Michigan may be catching up partly by playing more games, but you can always hope that Yale will somehow stay ahead. All that being said, building a New England Patriots stadium on Holden Street (the street I used to live on) is not my idea of a good thing for Providence. It is still up in the air over whether 100 Holden will be one of the houses bought and demolished for some of the parking that might surround the stadium. If Providence gets its first big time pro sports team I suppose that will be good for the city in some sense, but not in others. I'd be less than a mile from the stadium if it is built and I'd be not too happy about it. That ``big'' business side of pro football keeps my interest in that sport heavily contained.))

I don't deny that America has black spots on its civil liberties/race front. Of course we did, and still do. (Just looking at Supreme Court decisions, say, Bowers v. Hardwick, still in force, will go down in history as the Plessy v. Ferguson of the 20th century, for example.) That admitted, we don't lose the right to criticize other nations when they slip as well, and I thought that given Britain's traditions of protecting freedom and human liberty - remember 1940? - it was odd that the UK sold out Hong Kong's people as easily as it did. And if it was up to me, I'd take every Hong Kong resident that wished to come here in. ((In Boston last week, they had a series of huge immigration ceremonies where many thousands of people were awarded their US Citizenship. Many former Hong Kong nationals were among them (including a family who I know well). I wish them all safe passage into the US if that's what they want.)) Same with Haiti and Cuba and anywhere else where men and women seek to escape totalitarianism and darkness to reach Lady Liberty's lights. And thanks, Jim, for the bit about urbanism and seeking out other cultures. My dream ts to live as I did in Chicago, in a neighborhood that mixed poor and rich; white, black and every color in between; Jew, Catholic, Muslim and Hindu; etc. Good point on Roger Williams and religious freedom, but remember when you are dealing with Islam you are dealing with a religion that has no concept of church-state separation (they are often synonymous) and has no accepted way for Muslims to live under non-Muslim rule. For a good read on the topic, I recommend Bernard Lewis' Islam and the West, out in paper now. ((I know little about this topic, so I will look for that book.))

Bravo to your comments on Kim Head's zine and her letter. Your paragraph should be read by every Dipster in the hobby, and represents why your view of fandom and mine are so close. For many, Dipdom is the only way they have to make friends and meet people with common interests, especially if they are urbanites trapped in places like, well, Easton. I am proud to say that many of my best friends who have been with me through good times and bad - say, Tom Swider, Jack McHugh, the Courtemanches, James Wall, Matt Fleming, Tom Johnston, Andy Lischett, just to name a few - I have met through the hobby. No one - yet - to have a loving relationship with, but I can hope.

#194: thanks for calling in to VERTIGO GAMES XI. ((It was purely my pleasure!)) If I hadn't been in the Civ game I'd have talked longer. ((I know the rules. You always get potluck when you call in to Cons.)) We did miss you, and I'd urge you to try again in '98. The Games attracted their biggest crowd since '93 in Chicago - people from five different states! - and seem to be making a comeback. Full report in VERTIGO #116.

Terry's words on Carrier are about as gracious a epitaph as Carrier deserves. In 16 years in Dipdom I have to say Carrier was the nadir of people I interacted with. He made Bruce Geryk look like Dale Carnegie. ((Heh, heh, heh.... I liked that one.))

It'd be nice to get Doug Beyerlein back - he was pure class. ((Well, we do have him back a little bit. He has another letter in this issue. I completely agree.)) I thought his departure was an overreaction to the feuding, but I respected him for it. Now, there's hardly anything to feud over. I would say, though, that the hobby was healthier numbers-wise during both the Great Feud and the Kent-McHugh/Schenck scrap than it is in this oh-so-nice time. Any connection? ((That's been talked about before. My opinion is no. I believe more fundamental factors govern what kinds of time people have to devote to what kinds of hobbies. What connection do you make when szines with editors like me that don't have children sail along, while people like Paul Kenny and Stephen Agar struggle with schedules or restructure their szines as their families grow larger (to cite only one factor)? How does that fit with general changes in the workplace in allocations of leisure time? Why is Magic, the Gathering (a game that is a ``quick hitter'' and can be ``imagined'' easily all by yourself as you grow your collection) growing in popularity while Diplomacy (a game that takes many hours (FTF) to years (postally) to play and is difficult to play better without playing lots of games against real people) is not? You tell me. I still think Diplomacy is a great game, but I also struggle against the leisure time committment to be involved in it. So far, the answer is clear to me, but I understand why others make different decisions.))

Not to insult Richard Weiss, but Vanessa Mae makes me want to barf. The condescension the classical records companies show their loyal audience with crap like Vanessa Mae, David Helfgott, and other crossover-celebrity dreck is marketing at its absolute worst. ((Will I surprise you to say that I completely agree? I was not familiar with Vanessa Mae, but I pretty much ignore the hype index. I've only seen Helfgott precisely once, on the performance he did at the Academy Awards (I think I have that right) and I found it totally banal. Worthless.)) RCA - the label of Reiner, Ormandy, Horowitz, Heifetz, and Fielder - pushing Helfgott on us is an insult to their memory. But classical music may be dying - Philadelphia, city of Ormandy, Stokowski, Muti, the Curtis Institute, the Philadelphia Orchestra, and the Academy of Music lost its last classical radio station this week. If a city with Philadelphia's base of musicians, its history and its educated listeners can't support classical music, who can? ((You've followed, I imagine, through the eyes of Harry Andruschak some of Southern California's machinations along the same lines. It's a problem.)) I think the cultural Dark Ages are upon us, with Vanessa Mae and her ilk, television, Rupert Murdoch, and USA Today as the Four Horsemen of the Anticulture.

I'll play Modern Dip (sight-unseen) if you open it. I kind of like those big variants. After all, I met the Midwest Mob playing World War Ill-b, a 15-player variant, at Russ Rusnak's in Burbank, Illinois, in 1984. Imagine - Rusnak, Dale Bakken, Marc Peters, Paul Rauterberg, Konrad Baumeister, James Wall, Matt Fleming, Mark Frueh, Don Schleifer, Andy Lischett, Bill Becker, Mark Luedi, and more over the same board! Wow! ((Were you in the postal game of that same variant that..... um, was it Paul or Russ or Marc?... ran with most all of that same crew? It was a wild roller-coaster of a game - one of my favorite games of the 80's. I remember I was Peru.))

as ever, Brad, 123 N. 3rd St., 3rd Floor, Easton, Pa. 18042-1803


``And now," cried Max, ``let the wild rumpus start!"

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know.

Standby lists: Mike Barno, John Breakwell, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Doug Kent, Paul Rauterberg, Doug Essinger-Hileman, Stan Johnson, Harry Andruschak, Dave Partridge, Andy York, Michael Pustilnik, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy. Mike Barno and Andy York stand by for the new Colonial Diplomacy game. Let me know if you want on or off the list. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks. I'd really appreciate it if anyone wanted to be added to the list.


It's time to at least think about another game opening. What is really attractive to me is to run Vincent Mous' Modern Diplomacy ten player variant. There are about 50 supply centers and it is set across a map slightly more expansive than the original's European map. This game is very popular on the Judges and has just been written about by Chris Warren in Diplomacy World #83. If I get more interest, I'll print the rules and officially announce a game opening. Currently, Brad Wilson and Harry Andruschak have expressed interest. If not, I'll wait until another regular game or two ends before starting another regular Diplomacy game.

Conrad von Metzke recently finished GMing a black hole game where you can freely jump over black holes instead of having them render spaces impassible. I played in this game and like the tactics of jumping over the black holes a great deal. Now there the black holes were random, but what would happen if you could plan them? The next NYEED game will feature this rule change and will be a 7x7 tourney format unless I am convinced otherwise. I am itching to get this game started, so it will start as soon as it is filled! You get a life of game sub, and the game itself is FREE!! Sandy Kenny, John Schultz, Harry Andruschak, and Dave Partridge are signed up. Just three more and we'll get started! Otherwise Conrad is now the new editor and publisher of Pontevedria, the game openings listing, if you're interested in other game openings. Send Conrad a SASE for the latest issue to: Conrad von Metzke, 4374 Donald Avenue, San Diego, CA 92117.

SHOW ME THE MONEY: 1997???, Colonial Diplomacy



Pre-Winter 1900

BRITAIN (Johnson): has a DEL, f BOM, f ADEN, a MAD, f HK, f SIN.

CHINA (Goranson): has a PEK, a CAN, a SIK, a SHA, a MAC.

FRANCE (Sasseville): has a TON, a COC, f ANN.

HOLLAND (Desper): has a BOR, f SUM, f JAVA.

JAPAN (Dwyer): has f TOK, f KYU, f OTA, a KYO.

RUSSIA (Williams): has a MOS, a VLA, f P.ART, a OMSK, f ODE.

TURKEY (Tallman): has a ANG, f CON, f BAG.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Jonas Johnson, 3649 SE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97202, (503) 238-4430 ($5)

CHINA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

HOLLAND: Rick Desper, 34 Woodbridge Avenue, Highland Park, NJ 08904, (908) 572-4833 (E-Mail)

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JAPAN: Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($5)

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947 ($5)

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TURKEY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($0)

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GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) We will be using all three ``optional'' rules. With the map enclosed with the szine is the text of Rules 9.2 and 9.3. Rule 9.1 is the rule on Hong Kong which is as follows:

Rule 9.1: The island of Hong Kong was of no real value to China and only became important for other nations because it provided a trading post linking China to the outside world. Thus Hong Kong does not count as a colony (Supply Center) for CHINA (i.e. it does not count toward victory conditions, nor does it allow China to build an extra unit as do all other colonial provinces).

Rule 9.11: China may not enter Hong Kong until the turn after another power has occupied it in a Winter build turn (other than Britain who begins the game owning it). Although China gains nothing by owning Hong Kong, it can prevent another power from claiming it if China is able to capture the island from them.

Rule 9.12: For major powers other than China, Hong Kong functions in all respects like any other colonial province.

2) Note that there is a potential anomaly in the Suez Canal rule, but we will be using it anyway. As with Pandin's Paradox, if such an set of orders occurs, the units in question will not move. I published some notes on this anomaly about ten issues ago.

3) Money and updates on contact information would be appreciated. In particular, I'm not sure if that is still Rick Desper's phone number.

4) I will in all cases use the abbreviations from the official map in the szine this issue. My ``game map'' will not have the province abbreviations so do what you need to do to hang on to this game map and the special rules now.

5) Let me know if I'm forgetting anything else since your first moves are due with Issue 197. The game seems to be off to a flying start! Thanks for playing.


(HOLLAND to GM): When you set a deadline for Winter 1900, what does that mean?

(GM to HOLLAND): It means that I actively encourage press for that deadline. Otherwise, it doesn't mean anything. We aren't allowing you to choose your builds or anything. Here's some more early Pre-Winter 1900 press....

(SHOW ME THE MONEY): The barbarian slowly came to and stood. It felt like someone had given him an incredibly painful wedgie. Considering that his normal attire was small bits of leather he wandered around the unfamiliar room until he found a mirror. From the tightly wadded leather in his nether regions he noted two webbed feet sticking out. ``Hmmmm," he muttered, ``and me without my exlax." He clenched muscles that most mortal men don't even have, sweat started to bead his brow. He bent forward, clenching, pushing, forcing, and finally with a roar that could only be called BUN THUNDER shot the mallard across the room. ``Whew, much better," he sighed. ``Usually too much cheese on my nachos seizes me up like that." The mallard came to in a moment and screamed at the top of his lungs about road kill and avenging skunks and high pressure volatile gasses before leaping into the large fountain in the center of the room. The barbarian meanwhile was walking around the room. He came to a balcony looking across a large city. ``Looks sort of...Turkish or I miss my guess. Wonder what happened?" The mallard surfaced in the fountain, sputtering and scrubbing at his head and face. ``What did you have for dinner last? Dead Buffalo? Dinosaur dung? T-Bone Ehli's chili?" With a slight frown the barbarian turned to the duck and rumbled, ``I don't think we are in the Szine Registrar Invitational anymore Toto. And what has become of Red Daf?"

(TURKEY to ALL): Please ignore our carpet merchants as they pass east in search of the south east passage to the new world and McDonald's franchising.

HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON: Round #6 - 1997Hrn39, 7x7 Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy



Spring 1906

AUSTRIA (J. Ellis): f TRI h, a BUD h, a VIE h; and nukes withheld.

ENGLAND (Schultz): f lon-ENG, f edi-NWG, a lvp-WAL; and nukes NAP(3), ROM(3),

VEN(3), TUN(3), ION.

FRANCE (Barno): f bre-MID, a mar-spa (ann), a par-PIC; and nukes GM 5 TIMES.

GERMANY (Dwyer): f kie-BAL, a ber-PRU, a mun-RUH; and nukes TUN(3), NWY(2), VEN(3), POR(2), SPA(2).

ITALY (Lancaster): f nap-ion (ann), a rom-TUS, a ven-tri (ann);

and nukes NWY(2), EDI, SWE, SPA(2), POR(2).

RUSSIA (Andruschak): f stp(sc)-FIN, f sev-RUM, a mos-SEV, a war-UKR;

and nukes ROM(3), NAP(3), VEN(3), TUN(3).

TURKEY (R. Ellis): f ank-BLA, a con-BUL, a smy-ARM; and nukes BER, MUN, KIE,

NAP(3), ROM(3).

Addresses of the Participants Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309 Randy Ellis, General Delivery, Grant Village, Yellowstone Natl. Park, WY 82190

Effective Oct. 8: 119 S. Florence #D2, Flagstaff, AZ 86001

Jeff Ellis, 2120 Ramrod, #1517, Henderson, NV 89014, (702) 450-6361 ($2)

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John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041.

Mike Barno, PO Box 509, Gardiner, MT 59030, (406) 848-2149

Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159

Stuart Lancaster, 4127 SW Webster, Seattle, WA 98136 ($4)

GM: FIVE TIMES VAPORIZED!! Was at 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327

Current Standings

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 TOTAL

HARRY ANDRUSCHAK  4  4  5  0  0 13
RANDY ELLIS  2  2  1  0  1  6
JEFF ELLIS  1  4  3  1  4 13
JOHN SCHULTZ  3  1  5  4  2 15
MIKE BARNO  0  4  1  5  5 15
LUKE DWYER  5  0  5  3  4 17
STUART LANCASTER  4  3  4  5  0 16
Black Holed 15 15  8 14 18 12 82
Neutral  0  1  2  2  0  5

Total 34 34 34 34 34 12 182

Times GM Nuked  1  5  2  3  1  5 17
Lee Kendter, Jr.  0  1  0  0  0  0  1
Clinton/Dole  0  1  0  0  0  0  1
Garret Schenck  0  0  1  0  0  0  1
Switzerland  0  0  1  0  0  0  1
Ireland  0  0  1  0  0  0  1
Nukes Withheld  4  0  5  4  0  5 18

Game Notes (firmly orbiting in the tropopause):

1) Thanks to Lee Kendter, Jr. for the Round #7 Miller Number 1997Jrn39. For Round #7 (our FINAL ROUND!!!) Austria is Randy Ellis, England is Jeff Ellis, France is John Schultz, Germany is Mike Barno, Italy is Luke Dwyer, Russia is Stu Lancaster, and Turkey is Harry Andruschak.

2) For the rest of the game, if Jeff doesn't submit orders, his units will hold and his nukes will go unfired.


(BARNO): You're not gonna believe this. My housemate was hit by lightning while riding his motorcycle and died. Really.

(ANDRUSCHAK-GM): Thank you for the deadline extension. I have been working hard to persuade Jeff Ellis to continue submitting orders and the extra time will really help. Also, we DO need extra time for careful negotiations as the last round approaches. ((Well, you didn't succeed this time.)) First, we have to know who has how many SCs in Winter 1906. I'll either send nukes at those who nuked me (as part of my tit-for-tat stratgy), or direct them at you. Randy has already promised to nuke me off the board in round 7. That leaves it up to the other five players to try and hornswoggle each other and sneak into the lead. For that they will need ample negotiating time. ((They didn't seem to do much with the negotiating time here. Note right now that Round 7 orders will be due on November 22nd.))

(RANDY to WORLD): I talked to my brother, Jeff, ((Before or after the above phone number was disconnected...)) and despite my pleas he made it clear that he will not be returning to Hillary Rodham Clinton. Gents, I am sorry that Jeff muddled our game up as he did. Perhaps we should nuke England a bit in our final round as a salute, of sorts, to my lame brother. I'll use a nuke on England.... all we need is two more interested parties and a bit of coordination.

(MIKE to JIM-BOB): A toast! (No fancy drink one has to work to prepare, just a cheap Chardonnay.) To our brotherhood in the Red Subaru Society! With only 137,000 miles on it, mine was off the road for a month because the locals have no clue and no parts sources. I had it back for an hour before it refused to start. The $200 tow charge for 40 miles from the Yellowstone interior added to my joy. Ever try to hitchhike where retirees in motorhomes alternate between families in minivans? ((No, but my Subarus (knock on wood) never seem to strand me. That's my only requirement for a car. I wish you better luck with yours. I'm surprised you didn't just dump that car and pick up another one as you've done countless times before... how many cars have you owned in your life? About 57??))

(ANDRUSCHAK-BURGESS): I have sent off $10 to Douglas Kent for a sub to DIPLOMACY WORLD, starting with issue #83 so as to get rules and map for that Modern Diplomacy variant.

(MIKE to RANDY): Why didn't you share the July ``Randy Titan Point System'' ratings with the whole class? Ashamed of having an average one-third of mine? I only played one game in August due to transportation problems and that other distraction. Brandi's not in jail; she got a suspended sentence instead of the six years of hard time her lawyer expected. She even apologized for the wasted hotel room and the week I spent worrying while she was a fugitive. Joe and I trained a new Titan player Sept. 6. Twice I've been within a half-point of quitting our favorite company. No wonder my press flow has been down. ((I was beginning to wonder.... I think you have explained yourself MORE than adequately.))

(ANDRUSCHAK-BOOB): Things could get REALLY interesting in the upcoming Black Hole NYEED. Say I order Russian Army Moscow-Saint Petersburg. Then in Fall I could use a lot of black holes to move it to Smyrna, right? ((Absolutely, and people can cross in the black holes. So, while you are moving St. Pete to Smyrna, Turkey could be moving Constantinople to St. Pete.))

(TURKEY to RUSSIA): There really wasn't a whole lot I could do with my units. I imagine you nuked the Black Sea so it's all largely irrelevant anyway. ((Not exactly, the result actually is kinda interesting...))

(MIKE BARNO to PETE DUXON): The Cotswolds don't peak above 1000 feet? I go through that much elevation change just walking home from work. I'm not kidding. Mammoth's at 6300, Gardiner's at 5300. ((I'll bet you must be in great shape these days!! At least you head downhill to bed.))

(SKYWALKER-LANCASTER, SCHULTZ): I knew I was going down, so I thought I'd level the playing field with me.

(RUSSIA-TURKEY): Note my non-threatening moves towards Turkey, Germany, Austria, and England. Attempts by Turkey to grab Sevastapol and/or Rumania will be considered naughty, and you know what that means. ((Randy doesn't look too worried...))

(ANKARA to ROME): I didn't really know what to do with my two uncommitted nuclear warheads. I imagine you were concerned about being the leader (and thus a prime target (in the final round. I hope that I alleviated your concerns.... ((Actually, John Schultz did the best job of that, including zonking his Ionian fleet. The rest of you were rather superfluous.))

(RUSSIA-ITALY): Nothing personal, of course.

(SKYWALKER-BARNO, LANCASTER, SCHULTZ): I nuked you, because I figured if I'm not going to get any SCs, the guys closest to me won't get all of theirs either.

(ELLIS to DWYER): I didn't completely destroy you. I merely nuked your home centers per the R. Ellis Doctrine. Going into this final round, the R. Ellis Doctrine is null and void (i. e. I will not necessarily destroy the home dots of the leader in our final round of play).

(SIMANT-GM):....hisssshhhh.....You are covered with insecticide! You convulse and die in agony as the deadly nerve toxin destroys your body.

(MIKE to JIM): I figured out what ``flesh, bones, marrow, and entrails'' is. It's the answer to the question ``What is a man deep down inside?'', found in the Grateful Dead's song ``Passenger". If one were to ask ``What is a man when you crush the top part?'', brains would replace entrails, except in the case of Don Williams.

(ANDRUSCHAK-RANDY): Alas, your picture postcard to me arrived too late for me to change the press I submitted to TAP-193. The problem with picture postcards is that they get delayed by the need to have labels put on the front and the back to enable the bar codes to be clearly printed. This wastes time. Mind you, I love Yellowstone, have visited it several times, and hope to visit it again some day. But for timely communication, use regular postcards and TYPE the address. ALWAYS include the ZIP code, all 9 digits if you know them.

And now for some negotiations...if you promise not to nuke me for the rest of game, I promise not to direct any more Homeric quotations at you for the rest of the game.

(DATELINE GENEVA): In a last ditch attempt to avoid a final nuclear holocaust, representatives of the 7 great powers met to try and bring about a peace treaty. The problems started when the Mediator, Jim Burgess, expressed an opinion about the very short length of one person's kilt. This provoked the following dialog...

Power A: I find opinions that are opposite of mine offensive.

Power B: I disagree. Therefore, I, too, am offended.

Power C: Which means you actually agree, and I find that offensive.

Power D: And I resent your offense to being offended.

Power E: Your resentment offends my agreement.

Power F: I'm offended that I agree.

Power G: (Homeric quote that nobody could be bothered to translate.)

Negotiations have broken down and the outlook for European Peace is bleak.

(ANDRUSCHAK-PHILOSOPHERS): As my good friend Popeye once said, ``Cogito, ergo spud...I think, therefore I yam." And yes, I have the ability to believe in things I cannot see. I live in Los Angeles, yet I still believe in the existence of blue sky. Do the people in Seattle have that much faith? I have no opinions on the question of whether or not God is dead. Heck, we can't even be sure of Elvis.

(LUKE-JIM): While I don't want you to fold, I agree with Harry that deadlines should be a little longer. It's not your fault that, by mail, I don't get TAP until several days after you mailed it. ((Don't let me off the hook too quickly, I've got to get the addresses into a database and start printing labels. I just need to find the time to sit down and do it. That will speed up the mail a bit.)) Most often I'm only left with a little over 2 weeks (i. e. #194 arrives Sept. 4th, deadline Sept. 20th, 17 days) to talk and communicate to other players. ((Well, you won't even have that long this time. With me taking all of the Summer and Winter seasons with separations, I still disagree though. In Hermit down below, you have until November 1st to get Fall results in. There is an intermediate deadline, but no reason for you to wait to receive it in order to negotiate for Fall.))

(ANDRUSCHAK-ALL): Am I the only person who thinks that THE X-FILES are nothing more then SCOOBY DOOs dumbed down for the 90s?

(ANDRUSCHAK-WORLD): The 21 July 1997 issue of the magazine AVIATION WEEK AND SPACE TECHNOLOGY carried an article about South Africa admitting that it had detonated a nuclear bomb high over the Indian Ocean on 22 September 1979. Israel helped out in exchange for 550 tons of uranium and support. Guess who else has nuclear bombs. I am astonished that no other magazine or newspaper that I have read has picked up on this story. ((Maybe we should name the next game Nelson Mandela... speaking of names?))

(MIKE to JIM-BOOB): The guy named after you has been cut and re-signed by the Chiefs at least twice. Now do you appreciate job security? ((And how. As is well-known, job security in the NFL is the lowest in pro sports.))

THE HERMIT: 1995 IH, Regular Diplomacy



Spring 1907

AUSTRIA (Ellis): f ALB S a gre, a TYO S GERMAN a vie-boh (nso), a GRE S a tri-ser,

a gal-rum (d r:boh,otb), a BUD S a gal-rum, a tri-SER,

f ION casually gives the `wank off' gesture to the Russian sailors to the East (h).

ENGLAND (Pollard): f TUN S AUSTRIAN f ion h.

FRANCE (Dwyer): f bre-ENG, a BEL S GERMAN a hol, f TYH S ENGLISH f tun-ion (nso),

f nao-NWG, f nth C a edi-nwy (d r:yor,lon,ska,otb), a EDI-nwy, f BAR S f nao-nwg,

a BUR-ruh, a MAR-bur.

GERMANY (Emmert): f HOL S FRENCH f nth, a VIE S AUSTRIAN a gal (otm).

RUSSIA (Sherwood): a mos-STP, a SIL S a war-gal, a war-GAL, f sev-BLA, a RUM S a war-gal,

f DEN S f nwy-nth, a MUN-ruh, a UKR S a war-gal, f nwy-NTH, f AEG S a bul, a KIE S f hel-hol,

f HEL-hol, a BUL S a rum, a BER-mun, f EAS S f aeg.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Randy Ellis, General Delivery, Grant Village, Yellowstone Natl. Park, WY 82190 ($10)

Effective Oct. 8: 119 S. Florence #D2, Flagstaff, AZ 86001

ENGLAND: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190, ($5)

FRANCE: Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($4)

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of ITALY: Mark Kinney, 3613 Coronado Drive, Louisville, KY 40241, (502) 426-8165

alberich of

RUSSIA: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367 ($4)

ksher of or Keith_Sherwood of TURKEY: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($3) GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) A number of draws were proposed: ARF, ARG, DIAS, FEAR, and concessions to Turkey, Russia, Italy, and Germany (TRIG!). All proposals are soundly rejected!

2) For next time, the (Steffi) GRAF draw is proposed. Also the barking ARF draw is reproposed. Please vote with your Summer orders. If you fail to vote, one of them might pass.... but they probably won't.


(AMBASSADOR POLLARD to AMBASSADOR DWYER): Thank you. It is good to see you join the ranks. Admiral Langworthy is looking forward to mutual cooperation between the fleets. Take care.

(A WAITER IN YELLOWSTONE PARK to WHOEVER WROTE THE `ST. PETE' PRESS LAST TIME): THe French fellow? A good tipper?? Indeed!! In reality, the swine come to the US and are infamous for racking up a $150 dinner bill, coming to the waiter at the end, smiling, patting him on the back, and giving him $3.00. Servers here despise the French and rightly so...

(ADMIRAL LANGWORTHY to THE FRENCH FLEET): After you, dear sir...

(MIKE to KEITH): Sorry to hear about your balls becoming smaller. Doesn't surprise me, though.

(KEITH to SKYWALKER): You have nothing to apologize for: not to me, nor anyone else on the board. Your supply center count vis a vis others is all the vindication you need.

(SKYWALKER - VIRGINIA BEACH AND PROVIDENCE): I think Sherwood's ego has gotten in the way of his vision. He can't seem to notice or follow anything.

(MIKE to KEITH): No high school nor college course stands out as most valuable for me. The most useful stuff I've learned on the fly from Hard Knox U.

(DISGRUNTLED WELSHMAN to THE EMPIRE OF RUSSIA): Ah, you bleedin' bear! Maybe your plans are goin' a bit astray?

(BUDAPEST): Allied leaders from Paris, Vienna/Holland, and Tunis met here today with General von Steuben to coordinate battle plans against the scourge of Europe and their one common enemy: Russia. All seemed to go well despite Admiral Langworthy's drunken threats to the French Ambassador and his passes at the Ambassador's wife.

(AMBASSADOR POLLARD to AMBASSADOR ELLIS): I still haven't heard if there are any survivors from the former Russian Army. I do need a few more prisoners which I use to tend the Embassy's gardens...

(BARNO to SHERWOOD): Did you notice what Brad wrote in his restart of Vertigo? He called our press ``witty''. (But in another section, he grouped Dick, Konrad, and me together, so he might be thinking like Reagan again, post-Alzheimer's.)

(BOARD to ST PETE): Yech on your turgid press. Remember ``Golden Age Press" means snappy one liners.

(AUSTRIA - RUSSIA): I agree with Germany. The word ``jerk'' is so lacking in original thought that I thought for sure that the press was not yours....

(AMBASSADOR POLLARD to AMBASSADOR SHERWOOD): Dear Sir. Please inform the Czar's butler that I will pay him twice his current salary if he would consider employment at my offices. ((Is that with moving to Tunis, or would you employ him at his current work location....))

(BARNO to KINNEY): ``Until we run out of beer/we'll keep the red flag flying here!''

(SUFFREN SUCCOTASH TURKEY-THE HERMIT GERMANY): ``I tried to work in the Hot Dog Concession, to get at least a tangential baseball reference in, but I just couldn't think of how to do it." Try Austria. Other names for hot dogs include frankfurter and wiener, named after cities like Frankfurt and Wien. Diplomacy players are probably more familiar with the city of Wien under its English name of Vienna. That's in Austria. QED.

(SKYWALKER - BOOB): You forgot to put in the GRAF draw. I would have voted for that. ((Here's your chance...))

(AMBASSADOR POLLARD to AMBASSADOR EMMERT): I thank you for your ``Stephen King'' proposal. I in turn have voted for ``the Long John Silver Draw". I must return the favor! Noble causes shoudl be supported in this cruel A-Positive World....



Winter 1907

ENGLAND (Lowrey): bld f lvp; has f LVP, f BAR, f NTH, f GOB, a NWY.

FRANCE (Rauterberg): bld a mar; has a MAR, f GOL, f MID, a SPA, a TUS.

GERMANY (Kent): bld a mun; has a MUN, a BOH, a PRU, a SIL, a WAR, f DEN, a RUH.

ITALY (Billenness): has f ROM, f WES, a VEN.

RUSSIA (Williams): rem f stp(nc); has a LVN, a SEV, a UKR, a GAL. TURKEY (Sherwood): bld a smy; has a SMY, a BUL, f BLA, a RUM, f AEG,

f TYH, a BUD, f TUN, a TRI, f ION.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($8)

ttallman of

ENGLAND: Michael Lowrey, 6503-D Fourwinds Drive, Charlotte, NC 28212-3749, (704) 563-9226

mlowrey of

ENGLAND EMERITUS: Tom Nash, 202 Settlers Road, St. Simons Island, GA 31522, (912) 634-1753 ($4)

75763.707 of CompuServe.COM

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($10)

prosit of

GERMANY: Doug Kent, 10214 Black Hickory Rd., Dallas, TX 75243 (214) 234-8386 ($5)

73567.1414 of CompuServe.COM ITALY: Simon Billenness, 452 Park Drive, Apt. 7, Boston, MA 02215, (617) 423-6655 ($5)

sbillenness of RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947

dwilliams of

RUSSIA EMERITUS: Ken Peel, 12041 Eaglewood Court, Silver Spring, MD 20902, (301) 949-4055 ($5)


TURKEY: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367

ksher of or Keith_Sherwood of

TURKEY EMERITUS: Pete Gaughan, 1236 Detroit Av. #7, Concord, CA 94520-3651, (510) 825-2165 ($4)

gaughan of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes (back from the tropopause): 1) The game specific standby list for this game includes Garret Schenck, Cathy Cunning Ozog, Dick Martin, and Vince Lutterbie in reverse alphabetical order (note that Garret is presently missing, so I am running low on standbys here...). Someone find Mike Mills!! Guest press from potential standbys would be a ``good thing'' if they wanted to be chosen.

2) Anyone failing to submit press for two consecutive turns will be dropped from the game! Although press in this szine is generally black, I will make the exception here that I will say who has NPRed and is ``at risk'' for being dropped. This time we have press from everyone except Michael, Keither, and the Duck. They are ``on the bubble'' for next time!

3) The DIAS and GE (brings good things to life) draw proposals are rejected by the peanut gallery. The peanut gallery also should notice that Paul has a slightly adjusted E-Mail address. He hopes that brings good things to his E-Mail account!


(KEITH to TERRY): You say: ``I wrote, I called, I e-mailed all" and yet still you were set upon. Hmmm, as we say in California, ``Catch a clue."

(DECEASED AUSTRIA to TURK): The Poodle bites, the poodle chews it...

(MONSEWER to SULTAN): Let's! You advanced into BUL and RUM!! Is this 1901 again?

(ENGLAND-GERMANY): Beep beep, boop boop boop, beep beep? Really? I thought the secret code phrase for last turn was boop boop, beep beep beep, boop boop

(FRANCE to GERMANY): Thanks for nothing. Are you happy in Bohemia?

(GERMANY - AUSTRIA): See a man about a horse? Yeah, sure, but where's my paperwork you promised me? Mara is becoming angry!

(DECEASED AUSTRIA to ITALY): See! You should have donated your dots to me LONG ago.

(ANKARA to PARIS): ``Plodding moves and stratagems"? This from the guy who just got his fleet annihilated in Rome? You take in the spring what you are unable to hold in the fall. What you fail to grasp, apparently, is that centers are counted in Winter, not Summer.

(DECEASED AUSTRIA to FRANCE AND HIS SIMPLE MINDED MINIONS): OK, ok, I am gone. Now you can finish the duck.

Ghods: 1994 KF, Internet Judge Diplomacy

AUSTRIA: Josh Smith; ENGLAND: Nick Fitzpatrick; FRANCE: Jim Burgess; GERMANY: John Sloan; ITALY: Danny Loeb; RUSSIA: Rich Shipley; TURKEY: David Kovar.

GM: Mark Nelson, 1st Flr Frt Flat, 3 Kelso Road, Leeds, W. Riding LS2, UK; amt5man of

I've begun my write-up on Ghods too, but you won't see it for a long time since it won't appear until 1997 KT ends. Then again, 1997 KT could be sailing into the Endgame pretty soon. Anyone want to take odds on whether I will finish my article before Mark finishes his on 1994 KF? I'm still waiting to discover whether my key suppositions were correct that ultimately determined the outcome of the game. Come on, Mark....

Ghods too (ghodstoo on the judge): 1997 KT, Internet Judge Diplomacy

AUSTRIA: Edi Birsan (edi of;

ENGLAND: Jamie Dreier (James_Dreier of;

FRANCE: John Barkdull (uejon of;

GERMANY: Pitt Crandlemire (pittc of;

ITALY: Cal White (diplomat of;

RUSSIA: Mark Fassio (jm2365 of, fazfam of;

TURKEY: Hohn Cho (hohncho of

GM: Jim Burgess (burgess of

USIN judge: judge of

((The main point of this game is to take some successful E-Mail players, some successful FTF tournament players, and some successful PBM players, put them in a game together using the Judge E-Mail technology and see what happens. I will be reprinting all orders and selected broadcast press each issue. Other comments are welcome. If you want to observe the game, in real time, check out the USIN judge.))

Movement results for Fall of 1909. (ghodstoo.036)

Austria: Army Tuscany SUPPORT Italian Army Venice - > Rome.

England: Fleet Baltic Sea - > Gulf of Bothnia.

England: Fleet Norwegian Sea HOLD.

England: Fleet North Sea - > English Channel.

France: Army Marseilles SUPPORT Army Tyrolia - > Piedmont.

France: Army Tyrolia - > Piedmont.

France: Fleet Holland - > Belgium.

France: Army Prussia - > Livonia. (*bounce*)

France: Army Berlin - > Prussia. (*bounce*)

France: Fleet Spain (south coast) SUPPORT Army Marseilles. (*cut*)

France: Army Munich - > Bohemia. (*bounce*)

France: Fleet Mid-Atlantic Ocean SUPPORT Fleet Spain (south coast).

Germany: Army Sweden - > Finland.

Germany: Fleet Norway - > St Petersburg (north coast). (*bounce*)

Germany: Army Silesia - > Berlin. (*bounce*)

Italy: Army Venice - > Rome.

Italy: Fleet North Africa - > Tunis.

Italy: Fleet Trieste - > Venice.

Italy: Fleet Piedmont SUPPORT Turkish Fleet Gulf of Lyon. (*void, dislodged*)

Turkey: Army Bohemia - > Tyrolia.

Turkey: Army Vienna SUPPORT Army Bohemia - > Tyrolia.

Turkey: Fleet Gulf of Lyon - > Spain (south coast). (*bounce*)

Turkey: Fleet Apulia SUPPORT Italian Fleet Trieste - > Venice.

Turkey: Fleet Western Mediterranean SUPPORT Fleet Gulf of Lyon - > Spain (south coast).

Turkey: Fleet Adriatic Sea SUPPORT Italian Fleet Trieste - > Venice.

Turkey: Army Galicia - > Bohemia. (*bounce*)

Turkey: Army Serbia - > Trieste.

Turkey: Army Moscow - > Warsaw.

Turkey: Army St Petersburg - > Livonia. (*bounce*)

Turkey: Army Ukraine SUPPORT Army Moscow - > Warsaw.

Turkey: Army Bulgaria - > Rumania.

Turkey: Fleet Aegean Sea - > Ionian Sea.

The following units were dislodged:

The Italian Fleet in Piedmont with no valid retreats was destroyed.

Ownership of supply centers:

England: Denmark, Edinburgh, London.

France: Belgium, Berlin, Brest, Holland, Kiel, Liverpool, Marseilles, Munich, Paris, Portugal, Spain.

Germany: Norway, Sweden.

Italy: Naples, Rome, Tunis, Venice.

Turkey: Ankara, Budapest, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Moscow, Rumania, Serbia, Sevastopol, Smyrna, St Petersburg, Trieste, Vienna, Warsaw.

Austria: 0 Supply centers, 1 Unit: Removes 1 unit.

England: 3 Supply centers, 3 Units: Builds 0 units.

France: 11 Supply centers, 8 Units: Builds 3 units.

Germany: 2 Supply centers, 3 Units: Removes 1 unit.

Italy: 4 Supply centers, 3 Units: Builds 1 unit.

Russia: 0 Supply centers, 0 Units: Builds 0 units.

Turkey: 14 Supply centers, 13 Units: Builds 1 unit.

Adjustment orders for Winter of 1909. (ghodstoo.037)

Germany: Removes the fleet in Norway.

France: Builds an army in Paris.

France: Builds a fleet in Brest.

Italy: Builds an army in Naples.

Turkey: Builds an army in Constantinople.

France: 1 unusable build pending.

Austria: Defaults, removing the army in Tuscany.

Movement results for Spring of 1910. (ghodstoo.038)

England: Fleet Gulf of Bothnia SUPPORT German Army Finland - > St Petersburg.

England: Fleet Norwegian Sea - > Norway.

England: Fleet English Channel - > North Sea.

France: Army Marseilles SUPPORT Fleet Mid-Atlantic Ocean - > Spain (south coast).

France: Army Piedmont - > Tyrolia. (*bounce*)

France: Fleet Belgium - > English Channel.

France: Army Prussia - > Livonia. (*bounce*)

France: Army Berlin - > Kiel.

France: Fleet Spain (south coast) - > Gulf of Lyon. (*bounce*)

France: Army Munich SUPPORT Army Piedmont - > Tyrolia.

France: Fleet Mid-Atlantic Ocean - > Spain (south coast). (*bounce*)

France: Army Paris - > Burgundy.

France: Fleet Brest - > Mid-Atlantic Ocean. (*bounce*)

Germany: Army Finland - > St Petersburg.

Germany: Army Silesia - > Warsaw. (*bounce*)

Italy: Army Rome - > Venice.

Italy: Fleet Tunis - > North Africa.

Italy: Fleet Venice - > Apulia.

Italy: Army Naples - > Rome.

Turkey: Army Tyrolia SUPPORT Army Galicia - > Bohemia. (*cut*)

Turkey: Army Vienna SUPPORT Army Galicia - > Bohemia.

Turkey: Fleet Gulf of Lyon SUPPORT Fleet Western Mediterranean. (*cut*)

Turkey: Fleet Apulia - > Ionian Sea.

Turkey: Fleet Western Mediterranean SUPPORT Fleet Gulf of Lyon.

Turkey: Fleet Adriatic Sea SUPPORT Italian Army Rome - > Venice.

Turkey: Army Galicia - > Bohemia.

Turkey: Army Trieste SUPPORT Army Tyrolia.

Turkey: Army Warsaw SUPPORT Army St Petersburg - > Livonia. (*cut*)

Turkey: Army St Petersburg - > Livonia. (*bounce, dislodged*)

Turkey: Army Ukraine SUPPORT Army Warsaw.

Turkey: Army Rumania - > Galicia.

Turkey: Fleet Ionian Sea - > Tyrrhenian Sea.

Turkey: Army Constantinople - > Bulgaria.

The following units were dislodged:

The Turkish Army in St Petersburg can retreat to Moscow.

Retreat orders for Spring of 1910. (ghodstoo.039)

Turkey: Army St Petersburg - > Moscow.

Movement results for Fall of 1910. (ghodstoo.040)

England: Fleet Gulf of Bothnia - > Baltic Sea.

England: Fleet Norway - > Sweden.

England: Fleet North Sea - > Norway.

France: Army Marseilles SUPPORT Fleet Spain (south coast).

France: Army Piedmont - > Tyrolia. (*bounce*)

France: Fleet English Channel SUPPORT Fleet Brest - > Mid-Atlantic Ocean.

France: Army Prussia - > Livonia. (*bounce*)

France: Army Kiel SUPPORT Army Munich.

France: Fleet Spain (south coast) SUPPORT Army Marseilles.

France: Army Munich SUPPORT Army Piedmont - > Tyrolia.

France: Fleet Mid-Atlantic Ocean - > Portugal.

France: Army Burgundy SUPPORT Army Munich.

France: Fleet Brest - > Mid-Atlantic Ocean.

Germany: Army St Petersburg HOLD.

Germany: Army Silesia - > Berlin.

Italy: Army Venice SUPPORT Turkish Army Tyrolia - > Piedmont. (*void, dislodged*)

Italy: Fleet North Africa - > Tunis.

Italy: Fleet Apulia - > Ionian Sea.

Italy: Army Rome - > Tuscany.

Turkey: Army Tyrolia - > Venice.

Turkey: Army Vienna - > Tyrolia. (*bounce*)

Turkey: Fleet Gulf of Lyon SUPPORT Italian Army Rome - > Tuscany.

Turkey: Fleet Ionian Sea - > Naples.

Turkey: Fleet Western Mediterranean - > Mid-Atlantic Ocean. (*bounce*)

Turkey: Fleet Adriatic Sea SUPPORT Army Tyrolia - > Venice.

Turkey: Army Bohemia SUPPORT Army Vienna - > Tyrolia.

Turkey: Army Trieste SUPPORT Army Tyrolia - > Venice.

Turkey: Army Warsaw - > Livonia.

Turkey: Army Moscow SUPPORT Army Warsaw - > Livonia.

Turkey: Army Ukraine - > Warsaw.

Turkey: Army Galicia SUPPORT Army Ukraine - > Warsaw.

Turkey: Fleet Tyrrhenian Sea - > Rome.

Turkey: Army Bulgaria - > Rumania.

The following units were dislodged:

The Italian Army in Venice can retreat to Apulia.

Retreat orders for Fall of 1910. (ghodstoo.041)

Italy: Army Venice - > Apulia.

Ownership of supply centers:

England: Denmark, Edinburgh, London, Norway, Sweden.

France: Belgium, Brest, Holland, Kiel, Liverpool, Marseilles, Munich, Paris, Portugal, Spain.

Germany: Berlin, St Petersburg.

Italy: Tunis.

Turkey: Ankara, Budapest, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Moscow, Naples, Rome, Rumania, Serbia, Sevastopol, Smyrna, Trieste, Venice, Vienna, Warsaw.

Austria: 0 Supply centers, 0 Units: Builds 0 units.

England: 5 Supply centers, 3 Units: Builds 2 units.

France: 10 Supply centers, 10 Units: Builds 0 units.

Germany: 2 Supply centers, 2 Units: Builds 0 units.

Italy: 1 Supply center, 4 Units: Removes 3 units.

Russia: 0 Supply centers, 0 Units: Builds 0 units.

Turkey: 16 Supply centers, 14 Units: Builds 2 units.

Adjustment orders for Winter of 1910. (ghodstoo.042)

Italy: Removes the army in Apulia.

Italy: Removes the fleet in Tunis.

Italy: Removes the army in Tuscany.

Turkey: Builds an army in Constantinople.

Turkey: Builds a fleet in Smyrna.

England: Builds a fleet in Edinburgh.

England: Builds a fleet in London.

Selected Broadcast Press (1909-1910):

(edi of as AUSTRIA): Well now Cal, you know I do not carry things from one game to another so I will always look at it given the personalities of the game and the position there. This brings about another point in the exploration of the Email hobby. In the postal game one of the cardinal...if not the only...point of ethics that was pounded into me at an early age was that you never bring into a game a grudge from a prior game. You may be more cautious because someone was foolish in double crossing you or shortsighted in not allying with you etc, but you did not go into the game with the mind set of `getting even'. Unfortunately in some play by mail game systems, especially ones with a lot of intensity and detail, there is a greater tendency to forget that point of ethics. I wonder what the norm is in the Email side of things.

(diplomat of as ITALY): Heck Edi, I know you well enough to know that you wouldn't carry a grudge. In fact, I would count on your ability to treat each game as a separate entity. One of the reasons I don't play at CanCon any more is that there are a few players who take it as a goal in life to take me out of the game ASAP simply because I have won a couple of them. That's no fun for me and I don't know what they get out of it. It's also the reason I would prefer to play only in demo games. In case anyone out there is thinking of starting one, please take the preceding as a blatant hint. Thank you...

(manus of as OBSERVER): I have no time to write a full response right now, but the answer to Edi's question is that the pounding that PBM gives about ``cross-gaming" is also pounded into PBEM'ers. Cross-gaming is *the* big ethical no-no. Come to think of it, it's about the *only* ethical no-no, isn't it? :-) (Well, other than hacking into the judge somehow to get someone's orders, or using profane language or the kind of thing that was talked about in the ``No Holds Barred" article in a recent issue of The Pouch Zine. :-)

(diplomat of as ITALY): As an old-time PBM Dipper (although not quite as old as Edi...heh heh), I think you guys are talking about two different things here. The idea of saying ``If you don't give me Sweden in 1999AX, I'll stab you in 1998FC..." is certainly taboo in both (all) versions of Diplomacy. However, what I understood Edi to be saying is that you don't carry an attitude from one game to the next. For example, in this current game, Edi and I have been at odds practically from the get go. That does NOT mean that, in the next game we play together that Edi will definitely play against me. He'll obviously bring certain ideas about my playing style to the next game (as I will about his), but it will neither preclude nor demand that we ally. Each game will be treated, as far as is humanly possible, as a separate entity. To give an example of this, at the Canadian Diplomacy championships a few years back, I found myself in three games with Bob Acheson, another old time Dipper noted as a tough FTF presence. In the first game, we were at each other's throats from the opening salvo in S'01. We fought a great battle and I was lucky enough to grab a piece of the 3-way draw. The next game, Bob and I were in a situation that made sense for us to ally. As I/A, we were allied from the first turn (although we used the first game's results to hide the fact from the other players) and we virtually waltzed to one of the easiest 2-ways I've ever been in. The third game, we again both shared in a draw, but it came after we had allied for a while, attacked each other for a while and then worked together in a ``stop-the-leader" alliance to force a 4-way with both of us in it. That's the sort of attitude I like to take to every game I play and, although you don't often find players who subscribe to it, I am sure that Edi understands the ``aesthetics" of such an attitude. Ca va? Cal the Despicable (but for this game only)

(edi of as AUSTRIA): Anyway, this was my first Email game of regular Diplomacy and I would be up for another demonstration game when this game finally drags its way down to resolution.

(diplomat of as ITALY): That goes ditto for me. My other two experiences of e-mail Dip were not very good and I'd love to play in another Demo game. Hey, Edi! Wanna ally? :)

(GHOST OF BIRSAURON to CAL): TOLD YOU SO, TOLD YOU SO, TOLD YOU SO. But did you listen???? NO.... How sad but typical....

FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE: 1995 W, Regular Diplomacy


Summer 1910

AUSTRIA (Johnson): has a SER.

FRANCE (Pustilnik): has f ENG, a BUR, a PIE, f SKA, a GAL, f NWY, f BAR, f NTH,

f HEL, a KIE, a RUH.

GERMANY (Alme): has a BER.

ITALY (Williams): has a VEN, a TRI, a MUN, a GRE, f ADR, a ALB, f AEG, f BUL(SC). RUSSIA (Rothenheber): has f DEN, a SIL, a MOS, a VIE, a BUD, a PRU, a SEV, a BOH,

a SMY, f BAL, a RUM, f CON.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Jonas Johnson, 3649 SE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97202, (503) 238-4430 ($3) EcidLor of ENGLAND: John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041.

FRANCE: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651 ($9)

GERMANY: Hank Alme, 5157 Norma Way #217, Livermore, CA 94550, (510) 606-7265 ($3)

almehj of

ITALY: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947 ($4)

dwilliams of

RUSSIA: Ed Rothenheber, 11757 Lone Tree Court, Columbia, MD 21044, (410) 740-7269 ($2)

Rothenheber_Ed of

TURKEY: David Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722, (603) 882-3523 ($4)

rebhuhn of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The infamous IF draw is still rejected. It is reproposed and if EVERYONE votes for it, it will pass in the Fall season. Recall, that No Vote Received = NO.


(OFFICIAL FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE QUOTE OF THE SEASON): ``Justice on this elementary level is the good will among parties of approximately equal power to come to terms with one another, to reach an ``understanding'' by means of a settlement - and to compel parties of lesser power to reach a settlement among themselves. -'' From the 8th Section of the Second Essay in On the Genealogy of Morals.

(BARNO to BOOB): I thought the quote about ``digests his experiences (his deeds and misdeeds included)'' in TAP 192 was the best of old Freddy's material that I've seen to date. ((Yeah, that's always been one of my favorites too. I understand that in German there are even more of those kinds of statements, some of which don't translate well for obvious reasons.)) After an excellent year, I have recently faced a series of Zen exercises in patience through adversity. The latest is the aftermath of Christian's death by lightning strike while motorcycling. (John, have you ever heard of a similar event anywhere? Maybe once per several hundred million miles ridden?) Jake and I didn't find out until the next day. We've been forced to pass the bad news to many good friends here and elsewhere, pack up his stuff for his family in Mississippi, and adopt his dog, cat, and duck. (The duck turned up injured on our porch one morning, bitten by a dog or coyote. Christian who had worked as a veterinary assistant, nursed it back to health in our pond and greenhouse.)

(SUFFREN SUCCOTASH TURKEY-AUSTRIA): Congratulations on having survived the Spring 1910 Adjudication, even if only as a beleaguered garrison.

COVINGTON CROSS: 1993 AQ, Regular Diplomacy



Spring 1914

FRANCE (Rauterberg): f bre-ENG, a par-PIC, a mar-BUR, a RUH-kie, f swe-DEN,

a HOL S a ruh-kie, a tyo S a tri-vie (d r:pie,otb), a EDI h, f ADR S a ven-tri, a nap-ALB,

a tri-vie (d ann), a VEN-tri, f ION C a nap-alb, f APU S f ion,

f nth-hel (d r:bel,lon,yor,nwg,nwy,ska,otb), f TYH S f ion. GERMANY (Zarr): a MUN S a boh-tyo, a SIL S a mun, a boh-TYO, a BER S a kie, a KIE S a mun,

a VIE S a boh-tyo, a nwy-SWE, f den-NTH, f HEL S f den-nth.

TURKEY (Johnson): a alb-TRI, a ARM S a sev, f EAS-ion, a BUD S a alb-tri,

a SEV h, a SER S a alb-tri, a RUM S a bud, f GRE S f eas-ion, f AEG S f eas-ion.

Addresses of the Participants

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Drive, Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339

prosit of

GERMANY: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

RUSSIA: Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02192 ($5)

72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

TURKEY: Stan Johnson, 1254 East Broadway Road #56, Mesa, AZ 85204, (602) 668-1105

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Is this game nearly over? We shall soon see.... it appears that France has been pushed back a bit.

2) Note the small ``adjustment'' in the French E-Mail address....


(PARIS to BERLIN): So you're throwing the game to Turkey. Let's see...the Sultan trails me by seven dots: that's a long way to play ``catch-up"! Most, if not all of those nine dots that the Turk needs to win will come at the expense of your generous self. For each dot he takes from you, you'll have to make a consequent removal...further weakening you in your struggle to hold ME back. When are people finally going to get it? Suiciding out doesn't work. If you want a ``real life" comparison try: people who commit murder and then turn their weapons on themselves. Where's the kicks?

COLUMBUS CHILL: 1993 J, Regular Diplomacy


Summer 1916

AUSTRIA (Davis): has a SER, a TRI, a GAL.

FRANCE (Zarr): has a PAR, a GAS, f BRE, a MAR, a POR, f SPA(NC), f MID, f ENG.

GERMANY (Jones): has a SIL, a MOS, a BOH, a WAR, a LVN,

a TYO, a BEL, a MUN, a UKR, f DEN, f SWE.

TURKEY (Weiss): R a ser-ALB; has f AEG, f BLA, a BUL, a VEN, a ALB, a RUM,

f GOL, a SEV, f WES, f NAF, f PIE, f ADR.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Rick Davis, 2009 Bodega Avenue, Petaluma, CA 94952, (707) 773-1044

redavis914 of FRANCE: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

GERMANY: Charles Jones, 1722 Quail Circle, Corona, CA 91720-4155, (909) 735-8981

RUSSIA: Eric Schlegel, 314 Fords Lane, Aberdeen, MD 21001, (410) 272-3314

TURKEY: Richard Weiss, 231 Guerrero Drive, Tamuning, Guam 96911-3808, (671) 647-3478

rcw of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Easy come, easy go. Charles is switching jobs again and his E-Mail address is gone.

Press: (GERMANY >> > TURKEY): I tried to E-mail everyone in the game this is what I got from the turkey in the south. The original message was received at Tue, 26 Aug 1997 15:06:31 -0500 (CDT) from [] -- The following addresses had permanent fatal errors -- < rcw of > -- Transcript of session follows -- .... while talking to

>> > RCPT To: < rcw of > << < 550 < rcw of > ... User unknown: No such file or directory 550 < rcw of > ... User unknown I assume that he doesn't exist, and there is no player by that name, and Jim is playing Turkey just to play a joke on us. ((Works just fine for me.... but now you don't have an E-Mail address either. I wonder what I could say next?))

(JIM-BOB >> > WORLD): I would like to thank Charles Jones (who is doing a wonderful job playing Germany & kicking that slime Richard's butt) for telling me about the wonderful news about how Richard Weiss won a prestigious award. Seems Richard won the much desired and coveted Darwin Award. I didn't know this; but, every year this award is bestowed up that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool. I've taken the liberty of coping the entire article for every ones pleasure. GOOD JOB RICHARD! ! ! ! ! (For those of you who didn't already know Richard is a medical professional who lives in Guam)

(AP, TAMUNING, GUAM): A woman named Linda went to Guam to visit her in-laws, while there went to the store. She parked next to a car with a woman (Really a man, a transvestite named John De John the lover of a medical receptionist in Tamuning named Richard Weiss.) sitting in it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman (man), her (his) hands still behind her (his) head but with her (his) eyes open. The woman (man) looked very strange, so Linda tapped on the window and said ``Are you okay?" The woman (man) answered ``I've been shot in the head, and I am holding my brains in." Linda didn't know what to do; so she ran into the store where store officials call the paramedics. They had to break into the car because the door was locked. When they got in, they found that the woman (man) had bread dough on the back of her (his) head and in her (his) hands. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded, apparently from the heat in the car, making a loud explosion like that of a gunshot, and hit her (him) in the head. When she (he) reached back to find what it was, she (he) felt the dough and thought it was her (his) brains. She (he) passed out from fright at first, then attempted to hold her (his) brains in! Luckily for the human gene pool Richard and John are not passing any genetic material to persons of the opposite sex!

(UPI, PORTLAND, OR): Doctors at Portland's University Hospital said Wednesday an Montana man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive, and will be released soon from the hospital. Mike Barno, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous, the West Coast Chapter, in Grants Pass, Oregon. A friend named Richard Weiss, tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Mike's right eye. Doctors said had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel would have been cut and Barno would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny Delashaw at the University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain, with the tip protruding at the rear of his skill, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said had Barno tried to pull the arrow out on his own, as his friend Richard wanted him to, he surely would have killed himself. Barno admitted afterwards he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon. Said Barno, ``I feel so dumb about this." Barno's best friend, who lives in Providence RI, said when notified about the accident by Barno's wife, ``Between them both (Richard & Mike), they don't have the brain power of your average rock!" Barno's friend who lives in Providence, RI; asked to remain anonymous, because he was embarrassed to know these two morons. No charges have been filed but Josephine County district attorney's office said the initiation stunt is under investigation. It will be hard to press charges though, because any jury can see that neither has the brain power of your average doorknob.

(ASSOCIATED PRESS, KINCAID WV): A man at a party popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth and tongue, state police said Wednesday. Richard Weiss, 29, of Tamuning, Guam, bit the blasting cap as a prank during a party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne, ``Another man in the Mountain Men Anonymous Club, the East Coast Chapter, had it in an aquarium, hooked to a battery, and was trying to explode it." Payne said. ``It wouldn't go off and this guy said, `I'II show you how to set if off.' He put it in his mouth and bit down. It blew all his teeth off, his tongue and his lips," Payne said. Weiss was listed in guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to the spokesman at Charleston Area Medical Division. ``I just can't imagine anyone doing something like that," Payne said. John De John, a good friend of Richard's said ``he actually looks better now, in fact better than he ever did before." John went on to say that he was looking forward to giving his friend a kiss. Another close friend of Richard's who lives in Providence, RI; and agreed to comment if he could remain anonymous, ``I can't believe that I'm getting calls like this from the Press each and every week!'' ``You know he almost killed Mike last week in this dumb club?" He went on to say, ``Every time he spoke or opened his mouth, something incredibly stupid came out. This is actually a good thing!"

(MIKE BARNO to CHARLES JONES): Your dataset is too limited, ``kid''. I haven't taken any starting spots in regular Dip postal gamestarts in a decade, nor in e-mail games ever. I won the first postal game I played (started 1978, BN-registered 1979, finished in gameyear 1917 around 1982). More recently I've won three league championships and eight division titles in United Soccer; some FTF tournament Dip games and one MadCon overall crown; if you want postal negotiational games, I've won at Fog of War Dip, Final Conflict, (did I win a Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Dip game, Jim?), ((I honestly can't recall... did you?)) and others; for other postal games I can show you victories in Gunboat Dip and variants played gunboat-style, railroad games of a couple of rule systems, trivia contests, and (blame Richard for this) Yahtzee. I was selected to the list of ``The Hobby's 10 Best Press Writers'' in the Zine of Lists back around 1982.

(GERMANY >> > MIKE BARNO): Do you still have faith in Richard after last month?

(BARNO to JONES): So are you the Jones who attended a couple of East Coast cons in the early to mid Eighties such as DipCon/Origins at U. Maryland-Baltimore County? That Jones was one of the few people I played with and didn't develop a friendship. Is taking standby spots (and getting some of them into draws) to help people finish games less respectable than playing original positions? Are you more concerned with ratings than fun, ((HINT: The answer should be ``no'' to that one...)) as it would appear from this game's last six or eight gameyears?

(TUR-AUS): Ouch. Good move. Did Germany coach you?

(GERMANY >> > AUSTRIA): Please build a fleet or two so you can take the war to Turkey for real.

(TUR-FRA): An honest and passive Dip player?

(GERMANY >> > FRANCE): Let me know what you want me to do? I've got two fleets do you need them? I'll take the land war to Turkey, but after his accident we may have a new stand in player. You heard about how he blew his face off?

(GERMANY >> > JIM-BOB): I can't seem to get close to the deadlines, can l? ((I don't know, can you??))

SUFFREN SUCCOTASH: 1993 AI, Regular Diplomacy



Spring 1910

AUSTRIA (Pustilnik): a SER S a bud, a BUD S a ser.

ENGLAND (Hoffman): a STP S a mos, a LVN S a mos, f cly-NAO, a MOS h,

f nwg-NTH, f GOB-bal, f bar-NWG.

FRANCE (James): f mar-SPA(SC), f bre-ENG, a par-PIC, a VEN-tri,

f gre-BUL(SC), f EAS-smy, f ADR S a ven-tri, a TRI-ser, a syr-ARM,

a VIE-bud, f AEG S f gre-bul(sc).

GERMANY (Emmert): f kie-DEN, f BER-bal, a mun-RUH, a WAR S a sev-mos,

a UKR S a sev-mos, a boh-GAL, a SEV-mos, a RUM S FRENCH f gre-bul(sc).

RUSSIA (Schultz): a ANK S a smy, a SMY S f con, f CON S a bul, a bul S f con (d ann).

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651

ENGLAND: Karl Hoffman, 395 Imperial Way #220, Daly City, CA 94015, (415) 991-2394

KarlHoffmn of

FRANCE: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956

dkbn of

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of ITALY: Dan Gorham, PO Box 279, Belmopan, Belize, CENTRAL AMERICA

Danielg of RUSSIA: John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041 TURKEY: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

GM EMERITUS: Garret Schenck, now lost, HELP!

GSchenck39 of - CANCELLED!

Game Notes:

1) The Western Triple FEG has been rejected. The even more stunningly boring FG has been proposed. Please vote with your Summer orders.


(FRANCE to RUSSIA): Time to push you completely back into Asia Minor. I was feeling kind of bad for you - no hope of building again, completely surrounded, no where to go, about to watch the death of your Austrian ally - then I realized that you are about to get a new friend in the West.

(PARIS to LONDON): No, no, no. It's not what you think. We are simply on our way to express our condolences to the Royal Family (and maybe count the jewels in the Tower).

(FRANCE to GERMANY): I'm considering proposing and voting for a five way draw. Considering that it now appears to be 3 on 2, with us in the minority, that is probably the best we can get. What do you think?

(TURKEY-RUSSIA): It is true that most Diplomacy triple alliances tend to wind up with a stab of Lucky Pierre, The Man In The Middle. With E/F/Gs it tends to be Fortunate Hans as the Man In The Middle. I do believe this is the first time I've seen England in this position, assuming that Germany and France are really cooperating and we do not have a mutual double-cross.

(DREW to KARL): Sorry, you have been a good friend. Jim-Bob talked me into it - you know how he hates FEGs. ((Trying to get me in trouble, eh?)) I resisted as long as I could, but he started doing strange things to my phone so I couldn't send in any other orders (Jim-Bob - let them know I am telling the truth here). ((I will admit that our phone was having problems. Beyond that, I verify nothing.)) Actually, I just couldn't believe that you would be happy to simply sit and wait while we took care of Russia. It had to be someone and Germany and I need each other in the Balkans.

(ANDRUSCHAK-GM): Gee, I would have hoped that you noticed the quotation marks I put around the phrase ``hopeless positions". Even in this game, Turkey might have survived if I had been able to persuade France to go along with my idea of setting up a Saint Petersburg to Syria convoy. Of course, this would have involved moving the French Fleets away from Greece to set up the convoy route. I pointed out to the Western Triple how such a convoy would REALLY have upset the GM. Alas, France chose dots over the humorous convoy. Nobody has a sense of humor around here anymore. This does not change my opinion that all positions should be played out to the end if you can find a willing sucker.

(JAMES to GM AND RUSSIA): What are your feelings on F/G alliances and draws? Let me guess - you have seen at least a million, any moron can make them work, there is nothing more boring, you will never ever vote for a F/G draw, blah, blah, blah.

(TURKEY-GERMANY AND FRANCE): Well, it's about time SOMEBODY finally remembered that ``fleets are the key to victory" and is doing something about it. Now is this a planned double-stab of England, or just an example of two great minds thinking alike? After all, the Golden Rule of Diplomacy is to do onto others before they do it onto you.

(FRANCE to AUSTRIA): Do the right thing and you will be out of your misery by the end of this year.

(TURKEY-ENGLAND): Although fleets are the key to victory, armies can be mighty useful for a stout defense. It never fails to amaze me how so many players of England neglect armies. Two armies in Liverpool and Edinburgh can support each other. Two fleets in Liverpool and Edinburgh cannot support each other. Batten down the hatches, boy, a storm just might be heading your way.

(PARIS to WORLD): You have to be kidding me! Not the boring old A/R/E alliance. I have seen that in every game I played in from 1962 to 1993. Don't even bother proposing that three way draw. You will have to completely knock me out of the game as I will never vote for it! ((Now THAT'S a REAl draw!!))

(WESTERN DRIVEL to RUSSIA IN EXHILE): Do you really want us to apologize for keeping you around so long? Slow and hard is more fun anyway. PS. You would be eliminated if the proper orders didn't get lost in the ether a couple of turns ago.

(TURKEY-AUSTRIA): I may have been eliminated, but be assured I am still following this game with fascination. The Spring 1909 moves should reveal the real intentions of the Western Triple. Of course it could all be a hoax, a big joke on the GM, one final belly laugh before the E/F/G eliminates YOU.

Personal Note to You:

File translated from TEX by TTH, version 1.0.