June 24, 1997 3

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287 Accessible through Internet at burgess of

A ``by the numbers'' issue this time out as I try to get the schedule back into some semblance of order. I'm really sorry about how the mailouts for this last issue (both players and non-players) were grossly delayed. I know the same thing will happen again this issue for the non-players, but the players should get the issue about as quickly as they have for a while. I'll get caught up on general stuff more next time.

The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada. You can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and new game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $15.00 ($10.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). The current game opening for Colonial Diplomacy will start as soon as I get money from seven players since Nekayah has now ended. For more on this, see below. Also note that more results for the new demo game are included. Remember that music comments and reviews are scattered through the game press at times.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!! Note that everything has been moved to the site. See David's letter below. The Cal Tech ftp site is being mirrored on the machine as well. Issues of The Abyssinian Prince #131 to the present are available via anonymous FTP from in the pub/diplomacy/Zines/TAP directory in compressed postscript format. The gracious assistance of Kevin Roust is most appreciated in keeping up this site. The files begin and go sequentially from there. Since it's UNIX based, all of those upper and lower cases are important. If anyone wants help from me on doing this, they only have to ask and I can help you determine if you have access to FTP which stands for File Transfer Protocol and can handle postscript files. The Caltech site is at:

or check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch at its brand new address with all of the information you would need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at:

In addition, through Jamie McQuinn's portion of the Pouch, or directly through:

you can access the mirror site to Caltech and get to the szine that way. This mirror site is lightning quick, or at least it has been for me recently.

In a BRAND NEW development, the szine also is available as a PDF file, readable with Adobe Acrobat's free reader. Before I do anything general, I want to test this with a few of you. If you already have Adobe's reader on your computer, E-Mail me for a copy. This is one of the things that has not happened yet. Those of you who already E-Mailed me WILL get a test issue. It was a combination of technical difficulties and overwhelmed schedules that led me not to get to this previously. Don't worry, I will get to it. If any of you who have NOT E-Mailed me about this test, can still do so.


At one time, Jerry Lucas lived at 3902 Lakemead Way, Redwood City, CA 94062. This is a BIG hint, since he might even still live there.

I found all sorts of neat stuff in looking for old Jerry Lucas material from the early 80's. Among them was my phone bill for October, 1984. On the 20th, I talked to John Caruso or Kathy Byrne/Caruso for 42 minutes, Don Williams for two short calls on the 20th and 25th, Paul Rauterberg for two calls on October 8th, Russ Rusnak for eight minutes on the 18th, Mike Barno (I think - 723-4883?) for fifteen minutes on the eighth, Mark Frueh for 2 minutes on the 10th, seven minutes to Pete Gaughan on the 25th, and of course a call to the Sex Ghod and Toadfather on the 25th. I only called one other person that whole month long distance (and it MIGHT have been Jerry Lucas, I don't recognize the number).... two calls to ``Roseville, CA'' on the 23rd and 24th to (916) 722-8982 which I at first thought might be Jerry, but Jerry's phone number at that time (October 1984) was (415) 369-1891. Oh, well. Still, see if that helps you. I also found issues of The Inner Light, early Perelandra, some issues of Midlife Crisis, and the originals from a couple of my first issues of this publication (which reminded me of how continually (and badly) I threw around puns. How many people can name the FOUR distinct puns/entendres in the title of this szine? Speaking of entendres, in the game Iliad, from Europa Express, Jerry had that continuing series on ``the Virgin''. Here's the installment from Europa Express #38: ``The hot sun quickly erased the virgin's memories of her refreshing swim. Her hunger was overridden by a growing urgency to find out why John had left her naked on the beach in Guerneville. She set out toward Santa Rosa holding her hair up to cool the back of her neck. Memories of the previous night were coming back to her in bits and glimpses. She remembered the dinner, the wine, the drive, but nothing of Guerneville before this morning. Naked! My God, that had never happened before. She had just met John the day before. ((Jerry was playing Turkey and John Schuler was playing Italy...)) He was seductively charming, but she wasn't that easy, was she? A wave of nausea caused her to leave the road for the shade. It must be the heat, she thought. She prided herself in her awareness of her body and this gnawing feeling in the stomach was new to her. It wasn't hunger, she was pretty sure. She began to feel panic over her situation. Moneyless and alone. she decided she had better seek some help. If only she had tried harder to link up with that lifeguard. Oh well, not worth going back for now. She looked up as the beatup red pickup pulled up in front of her. She was dazzled by the driver's blue eyes. `Need a lift?' he asked. Talk about timing, she thought.'' I found a number of negotiation letters from Jerry on that game as well, but nothing worth mentioning. You'll likely get more random stuff from my archives next time.

This is now going to be a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Mike Mills or Garret Schenck is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him. The next person will be announced in Issue #195.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Bid on PDORA items, subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for. This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.


The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 30 Poynter Road, Bush Hill Park, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 1DL, UK (johnh of The representives in Australia (John Cain, PO Box 4317, Melbourne University 3052, AUSTRALIA) or Belgium and some other European countries (Jef Bryant, Rue Jean Pauly, 121, B-4430 ANS, BELGIUM) also will forward your subscription on to the editor in either Australian dollars or continental European currencies respectively. Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

Thanks to Pete Duxon and Kim Head for recommending some Brit szines to me. I hope to get back to reviews this summer. When I do, Brit pubbers are welcome to write rejoinders to my reviews. My next review will be on Jef Bryant's Dipsomania which is probably the only szine simultaneously published in both French and English. Obviously, I haven't gotten to it yet again this time.

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

There have been many complaints about the information on DipCon at Dragonflight not being well publicized. I have not yet had the opportunity to get this information up on the Internet on and to the Diplomatic Pouch. I yet will not have time to do anything about it for at least a week. If someone puts it there, I'm sure the DipCon planning committee would appreciate it. Unfortunately, I probably won't be going again this year.


((Send me a write up of any sort you want about 1996 music for you, what YOU liked. Or risk having me get disgusted with the worthless lot of you and have me fold in a huff (I'll repeat this as long as it gets a reaction, probably only another issue or two, then I'll fold.... heh, heh, heh). It can be a list of records, include descriptions or not, include singles, concerts, re-releases, whatever you want to talk about. It doesn't matter if I like it, it matters if you like it. At least I hope it does!! No set number required. I may finish my list in July.))

Steve Emmert (Sun, 22 Jun 1997 15:10:49 -0400 (EDT))

Dear Jim - So here's a note from my öther" address. My computer just gave me some cheery news: My CD-ROM driver is gone. I'm assuming I accidentally deleted it while cleaning up some files this morning. This kind of restricts a fella from doing stuff. I'll console myself with doing on-line searches and working from my hard drive until I can get the damned thing up and running again.

I believe I promised you a mint julep recipe. I'll try to keep the discussion under three pages of text.

There are only three ingredients in a julep: Bourbon, sugar and mint. (Four if you count ice.) The traditional recipe calls for it to be served in a silver or pewter cup, but if all you have is glass, don't be dissuaded from trying it. You'll also need a short straw, but again, that isn't absolutely essential.

The single most important ingredient in the julep is the bourbon - if you use rotgut stuff, then it will taste nasty, no matter how much effort you put into preparation. And forget the Jack Daniels. That isn't bourbon at all; it's sour mash, and not fit for a distinguished julep. I recommend Maker's Mark, or Wild Turkey if MM isn't available. If you can find one, there are some excellent single barrel bourbons (the bourbon equivalent of single-malt scotch) which are delightful, albeit a bit expensive.

Place three or four fresh spearmint leaves (the red-stem variety works best) and about a teaspoon of confectioner's sugar in the cup and add just enough bourbon to make a thin paste. The idea is to dissolve the sugar while "bruising" (gently crushing) the leaves against the side of the cup. Then fill the cup with crushed ice - really pack it in tightly. Fill the cup with bourbon, stir it to distribute the sugar paste evenly throughout the drink, and garnish with a mint sprig. The last is important, because of the straw - the short straw is designed to get your nose right down into the mint sprig while you're sipping it, as the aroma of the mint adds greatly to the experience.

I have seen other, more foo-foo versions of the recipe, but this is authentic. There was an article about the drink in the New York Times just before the Derby - April 30, I think - with a couple of complicated recipes, one of which gave me pause. It called for, among other ingredients, two ounces of bourbon, and at the end, said that it served six. Now, I don't know whether all you yankees are such lightweights, but around here, you couldn't offer a gentleman a 1/3 oz. julep with a straight face and avoid a duel. ((Indeed! I saw the Times article you mention and I was struck by the same ``lightweight'' portions.))

Please forgive the following wistful musings. I'll be going up to Indiana on Tuesday, the 24th, for my grandmother's funeral. With her passing, I now find myself the oldest living Emmert in my branch of the family, at the crotchety old age of 39. And that branch is pretty thin - I'm an only son, my father was an only child, and my grandfather and great-grandfather were only sons. So I have no Emmert cousins, second-cousins, or even third-cousins. Unless Sondra and I have another child, it appears that our line will die out with Caroline - from the surname point of view, that is. This kind of thing really makes you think about your place in the world, and forget about all of the trivial problems that we spend so much time and energy worrying about.

I once had an ambition to be the president of the United States. Then I got to junior high school, and my ambitions started to change. ((Interesting, some recent sociological studies of America have pointed out that our system tends to fill people with disappointments because most of us grow up (at least for a while) believing that we can be President or the star of the NBA Champion basketball team or whatever. Then we end up being far too disappointed far too much of the time. Emotionally, I'm sometimes there, but I am very aware intellectually that this society is great and I have it great. What is there to REALLY be disappointed about??)) When I graduated from high school, my ambition was to arrive at my tenth reunion in a Maserati, to show all those goons how rich and successful I had become. (I did go to the reunion, but in my Subaru, and had a great time, thanks to ten years of growing up in the meantime.) ((I just bought another red Subaru and now own three red Subarus. Perfectly designed cars for people who don't care what their cars look like and are looking for 0-60 in less than a minute, but cars that will go hundreds of thousands of miles before quitting. My ``old'' one has nearly 270,000 on it.)) At various times, I have wanted to accomplish something that would make me live on (at least in peoples' memories) forever, achieve preeminence in some field, play right field for the Dodgers, and so forth. But now, with whatever wisdom I have collected, I have only one real ambition; I revisit it every time I throw a coin into a fountain or engage in a wishbone pull (with a predetermined outcome) with my daughter. I hope I'm always this happy, I say to myself. I don't know what my grandmother's ambition was, or whether she achieved it, but I hope it was a simple as that, and that she enjoyed her long life as much as I'm enjoying mine.

Best wishes. Steve, Lsemmert of

((Well said, as my life has been filled with potholes lately, I've been trying to hang onto that attitude. This szine makes absolutely no apology for having both feet and its whole heart and soul on the fannish side of the fence. I was pleased (really pleased) that Kent Pollard said in his note with his orders: ``You sounded happy in your last szine.... (That is a good thing).'' Yes, it is, and I am. Lots of little disappointments, but very happy about all of the important things. Speaking of fannishness....))

Daf Langley (Tue, 24 Jun 1997 00:08:17 -0400 (EDT))

Hello Jimbob! I have some press for you, if that will be okay. ((From you? Anything!)) Nothing like Williams writing press to get the old juices flowing again. However, I'm going to have to have a few words with your wife. Does she know how thin the ice is where she's treading? ((I doubt it...)) Flirting with Don is a no no. Just because she is 251/2 (which makes her about what - 125 years old??) ((If so, she doesn't look a day over 115....)) doesn't mean she can walk in and start sweet talking my toady. There are rules and ignorance of the rules is not going to help her one bit!

Daf, RedDaf of

((I'll tell her, but she is a bit willful at times....))

Richard Weiss (Mon, 16 Jun 97 20:08:08 PDT)

Jim: Enough about press. I'm glad to know your rules. I love your music section/reviews. As I am restocking my collection, even more than usual, I will pick some of the discs I've never heard of but sound great, to purchase. The most compelling one from this issue was ``Son Seals" guitar, hot, blues, WOW! ((Yeah, you've never heard Son Seals??? I'm surprised, but could pretty much guarantee that you would like him, while I'd never recommend to you all of those pretty boys that I love like Scott Miller's Game Theory or Michael Quercio's Three O'Clock.)) The Police SKA sounds like a deal. I was able to find a Skankin' Pickle CD in a store and replace something I thought I'd never see again. That felt good. Love that ``Hair on your butt" song. And, I had just decided to get the Allman's Live at Fillmore East instead of a studio CD by them. Go Steve Emmert.

I will be in NOLA 8/9-8/16 for the first of three 8 day sessions which will give me a Master's of Medical Management degree. Tulane, the college with degreees for sale (they used to say about the MPH program). Then I plan to go to NC/GA or both for on-site visits to the two leading telemedicine programs in the country. I want the patients here to be able to be seen by specialists in HI without leaving this island. Well, why bother with all this business stuff - because that puts me possibly flying back to go through Seattle for DipCon - or at least the first nights games. I'm trying it on for size. Then I could get a really big score in the first round and no one would be able to point me out for the subsequent rounds as I wouldn't be there any more!!!

Richard Weiss, fhpadmin of


``And now," cried Max, ``let the wild rumpus start!"

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know.

Standby lists: Mike Barno, John Breakwell, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Doug Kent, Paul Rauterberg, Doug Essinger-Hileman, Phil Reynolds, Dave Partridge, Andy York, Michael Pustilnik, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy. Mike Barno stands by for the new Colonial Diplomacy game which hasn't started yet. Let me know if you want on or off the list. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks. I'd really appreciate it if anyone wanted to be added to the list.


The Colonial Diplomacy game opening is STILL active! I realize that it has been awhile, so I'm not even sure if you're all still interested. Please send me the $15 game fees now. $10 gives you a life of the game sub, a bargain at twice the price and it holds EVEN after you are eliminated. The other $5 is for the NMR insurance calls, so please send along your phone number as well. Roland Sasseville ($15), Don Williams ($15), Rick Desper ($10 - E-Mail NMR insurance), Terry Tallman, Luke Dwyer ($15), and Jonas Johnson ($15) have expressed interest in the Colonial opening. I have a request to call the game ``Show Me the Money'' and so I shall, and so you must do! I have money from the five people above and a request for a random draw. So it shall be. Some others have expressed interest recently. I will take the first seven people who get money to me. I really only need one more as Terry is my publishing mentor and cannot be denied a place by me. Come on, who wants to play?

Conrad von Metzke currently is GMing a black hole game where you can freely jump over black holes instead of having them render spaces impassible. I am playing in this game and like the tactics of jumping over the black holes a great deal. David Partridge looks like he is going to sweep past me to victory in that game. Now there the black holes are random, but what would happen if you could plan them? The next NYEED game will feature this rule change and will be a 7x7 tourney format unless I am convinced otherwise. I am itching to get this game started, so it will start as soon as it is filled! You get a life of game sub, and the game itself is FREE!! Harry Andruschak is the first one to sign up. Otherwise Conrad is now the new editor and publisher of Pontevedria, the game openings listing, if you're interested in other game openings. Send Conrad a SASE for the latest issue to: Conrad von Metzke, 4374 Donald Avenue, San Diego, CA 92117.

HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON: Round #5 - 1997Drn39, 7x7 Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy



Spring 1905 - That's much better, keep those orders coming!

AUSTRIA (Schultz): f tri-ADR, a bud-SER, a vie-bud (ann);

and nukes TUN(2), ION, DEN, HOL, BER(2).

ENGLAND (Barno): f lon-NTH, f edi-NWG, a lvp-YOR; and nukes GM, RUH, VEN(3), GRE, SPA.

FRANCE (Dwyer): f bre-MID, a mar-spa (ann), a PAR h;

and nukes ENG, PIC, BUR, PIE, GOL.

GERMANY (Lancaster): f kie-den (ann), a ber-PRU, a mun-ruh (ann);

and nukes NAP, VEN(3), ROM, VIE, BUD(2).

ITALY (Andruschak): f nap-ion (ann), a ven-pie (ann), a rom-ven (ann);

and nukes SWE, STP, MOS, WAR(2), SEV(2).

RUSSIA (R. Ellis): f stp(sc)-GOB, a war-GAL, a mos-UKR, f sev-bla (ann);

and nukes BER(2), MUN(2), KIE, TUN(2).

TURKEY (J. Ellis): f ANK-bla, a con-BUL, a smy-CON;

and nukes SEV(2), WAR(2), BUD(2), VEN(3), MUN(2).

Addresses of the Participants Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309 Randy Ellis, General Delivery, Grant Village, Yellowstone Natl. Park, WY 82190

Jeff Ellis, 2120 Ramrod, #1517, Henderson, NV 89014, (702) 450-6361

John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041.

Mike Barno, PO Box 509, Gardiner, MT 59030, (406) 848-2149

Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159

Stuart Lancaster, 4127 SW Webster, Seattle, WA 98136

GM: VAPORIZED AGAIN!! Was at 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327

Current Standings

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 TOTAL

HARRY ANDRUSCHAK  4  4  5  0 13
RANDY ELLIS  2  2  1  0  5
JEFF ELLIS  1  4  3  1  9
JOHN SCHULTZ  3  1  5  4 13
MIKE BARNO  0  4  1  5 10
LUKE DWYER  5  0  5  3 13
STUART LANCASTER  4  3  4  5 16
Black Holed 15 15  8 14 18 70
Neutral  0  1  2  2  5

Total 34 34 34 34 18 154

Times GM Nuked  1  5  2  3  1 12
Lee Kendter, Jr.  0  1  0  0  0  1
Clinton/Dole  0  1  0  0  0  1
Garret Schenck  0  0  1  0  0  1
Switzerland  0  0  1  0  0  1
Ireland  0  0  1  0  0  1
Nukes Withheld  4  0  5  4  0 13

Game Notes (firmly orbiting in the tropopause):

1) Thanks to Lee Kendter, Jr. for the Round #5 Miller Number. The HRC game name will apply to the entire game. I still refuse to recognize the relevance of round by round winners.

2) For Round #6, Jeff Ellis is Austria, John Schultz is England, Mike Barno is France, Luke Dwyer is Germany, Stu Lancaster is Italy, Harry Andruschak is Russia, and Randy Ellis is Turkey. Could we have a Round #6 Miller Number please??

3) Jeff would really rather resign, but I kinda want to keep him in this since (even not paying attention) he and Randy are vying for last place. Ya gotta love the scenario! It wouldn't be the same if I replaced Jeff. Still, for the rest of the game, if Jeff doesn't submit orders, his units will hold and his nukes will go unfired.


(ANDRUSCHAK-GM): TAP-190, deadline of 31 May, arrived 13 June. Yes, Friday the 13th. How appropriate. Having noted that, sign me up for the Black Hole Game. I have been quite busy the last month, trying to catch up on correspondence.

(MIKE to ALL TARGETS EXCEPT THE GM): You were selected for minor amounts of slow-the-leaders distribution because the R. Ellis Doctrine limits my need to hit Stuart in particular, Ruhr was picked because I might snag Den, Hol, or Bel myself.

(POPE-TSAR): ``For what you are about to receive, may the Lord make you truly thankful.''

(ITALY-FRANCE): The Army in Piedmont has no serious intentions of trying to grab Marseilles. I just didn't see any use in ordering it into Tyrolia where it was bound to get nuked.

(MIKE to GM TARGET): You are selected for tropopausification again because you have needed it so thoroughly for so many years.

(POPE-GM): No no, for you we have something special, from SIMANT, a human foot crushing you into the ground. Crush crush crush, flat flat flat. Squish squish squish.

(ITALY-WORLD): Thus do we grind the evil empire into flesh, bones, marrow, and entrails. (The last phrase of the previous sentence comes from classical literature. Pat yourself on the back if you know which poem.) ((I have a guess.... John Dryden? Perhaps from Absalom and Achitophel?? This calls to mind the famous ``17th century literature quiz'' that I once wrote for Don Williams' Flick of the Wrist. Strangely enough, I came across this when looking for ``Jerry Lucas'' material which must be an omen. Here were the questions and I'll reprint Don's and my exchange on the answers as well as any additional responses next time, along with Harry's report on his question. Maybe it also will get Don into writing guest press for this game. By the way, as the Boob, the theme of the wording of the questions was focused on the boobish.... (1) Name the foolish poet who allowed Hemingway to steal one of his best lines, thereby relegating himself to near eternal obscurity [and what poem originated the phrase]? (2) Name another foolish poet (they must be foolish since no one reads them any more, right?) who rewrote the tale of Hudibras from Spenser's Faerie Queene into such a parody of Knight-Errantry that he forever kileed the sale of the movie rights and condemned the Spenser family to eternal poverty (they even had to change their names). (3) Name the famous 17th Century preacher whose tales of allegorical vision inspired a famous American literary magazine (name the magazine, too) that just won't stay dead (it was revived around the time I wrote this quiz in the mid-80's). (4) Name the British earl whose play, Sodom, set pornography standards that have yet to be exceeded (take that any way you please) even by this century's D. H. Lawrences and Larry Flynts (Hint: This play has never been performed and was considered destroyed until it was recently found in a German library).))

(ITALY-FRANCE): The Army in Piedmont has no serious intentions of trying to grab Marseilles. I just didn't see any use in ordering it into Tyrolia where it was bound to get nuked.

(ANDRUSCHAK-BURGESS): Your assessment may be correct, but at least I can listen to two classical music stations of variable quality. What else is there to listen to? In Los Angeles it is mostly ``Urban Rock'' and ``Latino Pop''. So KUSC gets my money... I do not live at the poverty level... for ONE year. ((Don't suppose you enjoy KROQ.... no, I thought not...))

(JOHN-BOOB): It just does no damned good to hide your head in the sand in this game.

(ANDRUSCHAK-BRAD WILSON): As an atheist I don't pay all that much attention to the bible. But as far as Leviticus and homosexuality go, I seem to remember, but you would have to track down the exact verses, that the death penalty could not be invoked unless a complaint was laid before the tribal council, and that there were TWO independent eye witnesses to the alleged crime.

THE HERMIT: 1995 IH, Regular Diplomacy



Spring 1906

AUSTRIA (Ellis): f gre h (d r:alb,otb), a TYO-mun, a tri-SER, a BOH S a tyo-mun,

a BUD S GERMAN a gal-vie, a VEN-tri, f ION S f gre.

ENGLAND (Pollard): f TUN S AUSTRIAN f ion.

FRANCE (Dwyer): a par-PIC, f wes-TYH, f mid-NAO, f LON-nth, a lvp-EDI, f edi-NWG,

a BUR-mun, a MAR-bur.

GERMANY (Emmert): f HEL-hol, a gal-VIE.

RUSSIA (Sherwood): a stp-MOS, a war-SIL, a mos-WAR, f SEV S a rum, a RUM S a ukr-gal,

a vie-tri (d ann), f BAL-den, a MUN S a war-sil, a ukr-GAL, f NWY-nth,

f AEG S a bul-gre, a DEN-kie, f KIE-hol, a bul-GRE, a BER S a mun, f EAS-ion.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Randy Ellis, General Delivery, Grant Village, Yellowstone Natl. Park, WY 82190 ($5)

ENGLAND: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190, ($5)

FRANCE: Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($4)

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of ITALY: Mark Kinney, 3613 Coronado Drive, Louisville, KY 40241, (502) 426-8165

alberich of

RUSSIA: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367 ($5)

ksher of or Keith_Sherwood of TURKEY: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($3) GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The AGE draw fails! Some, but not all, players age ten years, guaranteeing a quick trip to the Kremlin Wall.

2) Randy is back but I thank Andy York for submitting standby orders. Those of you who submitted conditional orders on who was playing the position had the orders related to Randy's return used.


(DISGRUNTLED WELSHMAN to THE WORLD): Blithering, bloatful, blighted, blasted, bloomin', bloody, bleedin', breedin', fate!!! The Country Has Fallen! Woe to Britain! Soon they will want Von Steuben's head also!...

(OBI WAN to HOLIER-THAN-THOU GERMANY AND ENGLAND): Young Luke is correct: you two are more than a little out of line blaming him for Russia when he has only been fighting off your stabs.

(SKYWALKER to CALHAMER): Pollard can still win by 1924 if he plays well. This I agree, but what about Mike sitting in his dungeon. Won't he rot away?

(CALHAMER to RUSSIA): Your tactical blunder at not making your build in Sev contingent on Austria's retreat (thus damning you with a now useless fleet) exposes you for the sham player you truly are. You have gotten this far this fast due only to the incompetence of those who you were lucky enough to draw as players.

(PEASANTS OF VIENNA): Vee vill all die! Vhere is Von Steuben? Vhere is our Hero?

(VIRGINIA BEACH): I can't say which of my high school courses I find most useful now; I guess that's because my professional training is exclusively post-graduate. But I am still reaping the benefits of my principal extracurricular activity, which was the debate team. I learned critical thinking, research skills, the ability to think on my feet and to speak to an audience, rhetoric and persuasion, how to evaluate feedback - just the kind of skills a decent attorney needs. I will agree with Keith that I appreciate the literature courses most, as they enhance my life the most. I can't tell you when the last time I used calculus or chemistry was, but I still get the benefits of having read Hemingway, Hugo, Dante, Eliot, Dumas and the like. Now, in college, the best class, hands down, was philosophy. ``The unexamined life is not worth living."

(AMBASSADOR POLLARD): Ambassador Emmert. My recipe for a wonderful Marguerita is quite simple. (First I must state that I prefer blended.) Fresh fruit is a must. Lots of Ice. Plenty of Triple Sec and Tequila. Mixes are added in order to sweeten and enhance the flavor of the concoction (such as Strawberry). An extra shot of Tequila can be added on top of the mixed and poured drink. Occasionally Ice Cream can be blended into the fruity beverages. A lot of it is to taste... Now what is your recipe for a Mint Julep. ((See above. You and he appear to be on the same wavelength and might like each other's thoughts. If only you were so ``in touch'' in this game....))

(CHARLES JONES to HERMIT): Anybody around here know an Elmer Fudd that kidnapped that Barno kid? And who was foolish enough to pay the ransom?

(A QUESTION to AMBASSADOR DWYER): Who is the more foolish? The Fools who fight or the Fool who fights the Fools?



Winter 1906

AUSTRIA (Tallman): R a bud-RUM; has a RUM.

ENGLAND (Lowrey): has f NAO, f NTH, f SWE, a EDI.

FRANCE (Rauterberg): R a ven otb, a tun otb; bld f mar, f bre; has f MAR, f BRE,

a SPA, a TUS, f TYH.

GERMANY (Kent): bld a mun; has a MUN, a PRU, a SIL, a WAR, f DEN, a GAL, a KIE.

ITALY (Billenness): rem f apu; has f NAP, f WES, a VEN.

RUSSIA (Williams): rem f nwy, f nwg; has a LVN, a UKR, a MOS, f BAR, a VIE. TURKEY (Sherwood): bld a smy, f con; has a SMY, f CON, a BUL, f AEG, f ION,

a BUD, f TUN, a TRI, f ADR.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($8)

ttallman of

ENGLAND: Michael Lowrey, 6503-D Fourwinds Drive, Charlotte, NC 28212, (704) 563-9226

mlowrey of

ENGLAND EMERITUS: Tom Nash, 202 Settlers Road, St. Simons Island, GA 31522, (912) 634-1753 ($4)

75763.707 of CompuServe.COM

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($10)

Pprosit of

GERMANY: Doug Kent, 10214 Black Hickory Rd., Dallas, TX 75243 (214) 234-8386 ($5)

73567.1414 of CompuServe.COM ITALY: Simon Billenness, 452 Park Drive, Apt. 7, Boston, MA 02215, (617) 423-6655 ($5)

sbillenness of RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947

dwilliams of

RUSSIA EMERITUS: Ken Peel, 12041 Eaglewood Court, Silver Spring, MD 20902, (301) 949-4055 ($5)


TURKEY: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367

ksher of or Keith_Sherwood of

TURKEY EMERITUS: Pete Gaughan, 1236 Detroit Av. #7, Concord, CA 94520-3651, (510) 825-2165 ($4)

gaughan of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes (back from the tropopause): 1) The game specific standby list for this game includes Garret Schenck, Cathy Cunning Ozog, Dick Martin, and Vince Lutterbie in reverse alphabetical order (note that Garret is presently missing, so I am running low on standbys here...). Someone find Mike Mills!! Guest press from potential standbys would be a ``good thing'' if they wanted to be chosen.

2) It was proposed that anyone failing to submit press for two consecutive turns be dropped from the game. The proposal passes!


(KAISER - WARSAW): I am happy to report that you have all been liberated from the manacles of Russian rule. You are all now free citizens. Free to help dig trenches for the defense of the city. Free to share your foodstuffs with my hungry soldiers. Free to swear loyalty to my reign, or face the gallows...

(SHERWOOD to BARNO): If only there were a story line to follow... ((Ask and ye shall receive....))

(A STORY LINE): ``Can't a red haired barbarian warrior maid (snork) get some piece and quiet", Red Daf shouted. ``You're all too far away for me to grab without getting up". With that, Red crossed the room and sank down on the floor next to the fire. The dungeon had not been kind to her mane of red hair. It was tangled and dirty, but still had that ``just tossled" look she spent years cultivating. Her leathers were torn and dusty, but the tears were in strategic anatomical places and the dust made the flesh underneath the tears look like an all-over tan. ``What is that duck blathering about now", she inquired. ``Evidently he's been chained to the wall in the other cell", replied her companion, the monstrous Thad Router. ``He hasn't shut his yap since you dozed off an hour ago. The first door we come to, WHAM, that duck is going to be a key!" ``Hey!", screamed the duck, ``it's not my fault they considered me the primary threat and chained me to the wall. It's an honest mistake." Red and Thad looked at each other and stiffled a long suffering sigh. Red put her hands to her hair and felt around to find the hairpin she always kept handy. Not that her hair needed anything as mundane as a hairpin, but as there were other uses for them, she always kept one handy. She threw it into the duck's cell. ``What the hell should I do with this hairpin! In case you hadn't noticed, I've got feathers!" Red and Thad looked at each other then pumped their fists twice. Red swore as she saw that her paper was going to be cut by Thad's scissors. ``Two out of three?", Red wheedled, but Thad wasn't about to play again. He was envisioning a huge, iron bound, three foot thick door which was to be the duck's next resting place. The fact that there was a key in the lock in his vision bothered him not at all. ``Use the hairpin to open the lock on your ankle, you idiot, so we can get out of here", snarled Red. After many tries, and six more rounds of Rock Paper Scissors, the duck was free, Thad was still envisioning huge doors, and Red was mightily pissed at both of them. ``MEN" she thought acidly!

Ghods: 1994 KF, Internet Judge Diplomacy

AUSTRIA: Josh Smith; ENGLAND: Nick Fitzpatrick; FRANCE: Jim Burgess; GERMANY: John Sloan; ITALY: Danny Loeb; RUSSIA: Rich Shipley; TURKEY: David Kovar.

GM: Mark Nelson, 1st Flr Frt Flat, 3 Kelso Road, Leeds, W. Riding LS2, UK; amt5man of

I've begun my write-up on Ghods too, but you won't see it for a long time since it won't appear until 1997 KT ends. Anyone want to take odds on whether I will finish my article before Mark finishes his on 1994 KF? I'm still waiting to discover whether my key suppositions were correct that ultimately determined the outcome of the game.

Ghods too (ghodstoo on the judge): 1997 KT, Internet Judge Diplomacy

AUSTRIA: Edi Birsan (edi of;

ENGLAND: Jamie Dreier (James_Dreier of;

FRANCE: John Barkdull (uejon of;

GERMANY: Pitt Crandlemire (pittc of;

ITALY: Cal White (diplomat of;

RUSSIA: Mark Fassio (jm2365 of, fazfam of;

TURKEY: Hohn Cho (hohncho of

GM: Jim Burgess (burgess of

USIN judge: judge of

((The main point of this game is to take some successful E-Mail players, some successful FTF tournament players, and some successful PBM players, put them in a game together using the Judge E-Mail technology and see what happens. I will be reprinting all orders and selected broadcast press each issue. Other comments are welcome. If you want to observe the game, in real time, check out the USIN judge or watch the Web page for this game at

Movement results for Spring of 1906. (ghodstoo.021)

Austria: Army Budapest SUPPORT Army Galicia - > Vienna.

Austria: Army Serbia - > Trieste.

Austria: Fleet Albania SUPPORT Army Serbia - > Trieste.

Austria: Army Galicia - > Vienna.

England: Fleet North Sea - > Helgoland Bight.

France: Army Marseilles SUPPORT Army Paris - > Burgundy.

France: Army Tyrolia SUPPORT Russian Army Bohemia - > Munich.

France: Fleet Edinburgh - > North Sea.

France: Army Brest - > Picardy.

France: Fleet Wales - > English Channel.

France: Fleet Tyrrhenian Sea SUPPORT Italian Fleet Tunis - > Ionian Sea. (*void*)

France: Army Paris - > Burgundy.

Germany: Army Denmark HOLD.

Germany: Army Belgium HOLD.

Germany: Fleet St Petersburg (south coast) HOLD.

Germany: Army Holland HOLD.

Germany: Army Munich SUPPORT French Army Tyrolia. (*cut*)

Germany: Fleet Skagerrak SUPPORT Fleet Sweden - > Norway.

Germany: Fleet Sweden - > Norway.

Germany: Army Berlin SUPPORT Army Munich.

Italy: Army Venice - > Trieste. (*bounce*)

Italy: Army Vienna SUPPORT Army Venice - > Trieste. (*cut, dislodged*)

Italy: Fleet Tunis SUPPORT French Fleet Tyrrhenian Sea - > Ionian Sea. (*void*)

Italy: Fleet Adriatic Sea SUPPORT Army Venice - > Trieste. (*cut*)

Italy: Fleet Naples SUPPORT French Fleet Tyrrhenian Sea - > Ionian Sea. (*void*)

Italy: Army Rome - > Apulia.

Russia: Army Bohemia - > Munich. (*bounce*)

Turkey: Army Moscow - > Warsaw.

Turkey: Army Bulgaria - > Serbia.

Turkey: Fleet Ionian Sea - > Adriatic Sea. (*bounce*)

Turkey: Fleet Black Sea CONVOY Army Constantinople - > Rumania.

Turkey: Fleet Eastern Mediterranean - > Aegean Sea.

Turkey: Fleet Aegean Sea - > Greece.

Turkey: Army Constantinople - > Black Sea - > Rumania.

The following units were dislodged:

The Italian Army in Vienna with no valid retreats was destroyed.

Movement results for Fall of 1906. (ghodstoo.022)

Austria: Army Budapest - > Serbia. (*bounce*)

Austria: Army Trieste - > Serbia. (*bounce*)

Austria: Fleet Albania - > Trieste. (*bounce*)

Austria: Army Vienna SUPPORT Fleet Albania - > Trieste.

England: Fleet Helgoland Bight SUPPORT French Fleet North Sea - > Holland.

France: Army Marseilles - > Burgundy. (*bounce*)

France: Army Tyrolia SUPPORT Army Burgundy - > Munich.

France: Fleet North Sea - > Holland.

France: Army Picardy - > Belgium.

France: Fleet English Channel SUPPORT Army Picardy - > Belgium.

France: Fleet Tyrrhenian Sea SUPPORT Italian Fleet Tunis - > Ionian Sea. (*void*)

France: Army Burgundy - > Munich.

Germany: Army Denmark SUPPORT Army Berlin - > Kiel.

Germany: Army Belgium - > Burgundy. (*bounce, dislodged*)

Germany: Fleet St Petersburg (south coast) - > Gulf of Bothnia.

Germany: Army Holland SUPPORT Army Berlin - > Kiel. (*cut, dislodged*)

Germany: Army Munich SUPPORT Army Belgium - > Burgundy. (*dislodged*)

Germany: Fleet Skagerrak - > North Sea.

Germany: Fleet Norway SUPPORT Fleet Skagerrak - > North Sea.

Germany: Army Berlin - > Kiel.

Italy: Army Venice SUPPORT Fleet Adriatic Sea - > Trieste.

Italy: Fleet Tunis - > Western Mediterranean.

Italy: Fleet Adriatic Sea - > Trieste. (*bounce*)

Italy: Fleet Naples - > Tyrrhenian Sea. (*bounce*)

Italy: Army Apulia - > Ionian Sea - > Tunis.

Russia: Army Bohemia SUPPORT French Army Burgundy - > Munich.

Turkey: Army Warsaw SUPPORT Austrian Army Budapest - > Galicia. (*void*)

Turkey: Army Serbia SUPPORT Italian Fleet Adriatic Sea - > Trieste. (*cut*)

Turkey: Fleet Ionian Sea CONVOY Italian Army Apulia - > Tunis.

Turkey: Fleet Black Sea CONVOY Russian Army Bohemia - > Switzerland.

Turkey: Fleet Aegean Sea - > Greece. (*bounce*)

Turkey: Fleet Greece - > Albania. (*bounce*)

Turkey: Army Rumania SUPPORT Army Serbia.

The following units were dislodged:

The German Army in Belgium can retreat to Ruhr.

The German Army in Holland can retreat to Ruhr.

The German Army in Munich can retreat to Ruhr or Berlin or Silesia.

Retreat orders for Fall of 1906. (ghodstoo.023)

Germany: Army Belgium DISBAND.

Germany: Army Holland - > Ruhr.

Germany: Army Munich - > Berlin.

Ownership of supply centers:

Austria: Budapest, Trieste, Vienna.

England: London.

France: Belgium, Brest, Edinburgh, Holland, Liverpool, Marseilles, Munich, Paris, Portugal, Spain.

Germany: Berlin, Denmark, Kiel, Norway, St Petersburg, Sweden.

Italy: Naples, Rome, Tunis, Venice.

Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Moscow, Rumania, Serbia, Sevastopol, Smyrna, Warsaw.

Austria: 3 Supply centers, 4 Units: Removes 1 unit.

England: 1 Supply center, 1 Unit: Builds 0 units.

France: 10 Supply centers, 7 Units: Builds 3 units.

Germany: 6 Supply centers, 7 Units: Removes 1 unit.

Italy: 4 Supply centers, 5 Units: Removes 1 unit.

Russia: 0 Supply centers, 1 Unit: Removes 1 unit.

Turkey: 10 Supply centers, 7 Units: Builds 3 units.

Adjustment orders for Winter of 1906. (ghodstoo.024)

Austria: Removes the fleet in Albania.

Germany: Removes the fleet in Norway.

Italy: Removes the army in Tunis.

France: Builds a fleet in Brest.

France: Builds an army in Paris.

Turkey: Builds an army in Constantinople.

Turkey: Builds an army in Smyrna.

Turkey: Builds an army in Ankara.

France: 1 unusable build pending.

Russia: Defaults, removing the army in Bohemia.

Selected Broadcast Press (1906):

(FRANCE): France has observed with growing concern Germany inching westward for several years. Were Germany a true friend of France, we would not now see two fleets threatening the North Sea. We would have seen German armies move, even tentatively, to the eastern front. None of this has occurred. The Foreign Ministry believes that France, in concert with its good friends England and Russia, moved just in time to avert a German attack on French soil.

(TSAR FAZ): Hear, hear! Russia applauds the bold and *necessary* move of its new-found friend, Napoleon IV. The great French nation was, we believe, only a turn or two from experiencing the same perfidy that befell poor England and, of course, our valiant nation. The Germanic-speaking peoples of the board lie silent and sullen now, realizing how it feels to receive a backslip, rather than giving them out.

Three cheers for France the Fabulous! A thousand huzzahs for England the Effervescent and Efflusive! May the red-and-black plague darkening central Europe become enlightened to true democracy and peace. Only France and Italy - perhaps in conjunction with E and R - can effect such a transformation. As for the Turk, well....

(PITT): Yo. I'm back. Sorry for the sudden and unexplained silence but I have been incommunicado for a few days. It's a long story but you may get a kick out of it.

I had to complete that investigation I spoke about last week. For obvious reasons, I can't be too specific, but the reason we were watching the perp is that he was suspected of stealing cars from my client (hell, they *knew* he was lifting the cars, they just didn't have any proof). The Boston P.D. (a good department as a whole) apparently only likes to investigate open and shut cases unless they're drug cases, so they were lukewarm about my client's losses. That's good for us, I suppose, since we get paid to provide them with all the proof.

Well, as it turns out, the perp not only likes to work nights, he likes to travel. He lives in East Boston but he gets around, including NH and ME. I spent the weekend following him, looking for him to snatch a vehicle, my trusty camcorder and 35mm camera ready to record his actions for posterity.

Saturday night, he went to a small town in central NH. Small enough that a truck with MA plates has a hard time trying to hang around without looking suspicious. Somebody (not the perp or his buddies) called the local deputy dawg at about 5:00 a.m. Sunday morning and he cruised by to check me out (professional hazard).

As a rule, we try not to divulge our activities to local authorities unless we know they're cool (on one investigation I did, the local chief was hooked up with the perp in a scam to sell seized firearms...). So, I tried to slough the deputy off with an off-the-cuff cover story about how I was supposed to meet my buddy, John Kurtz (whose name I had snagged off the mailbox next door and whose house had no lights on and no vehicle in the driveway) to go fishing. The deputy bought it (or seemed to anyway) and left. However, he'd taken down the info off my license plate and driver's license before he left and he was back in about 5 minutes, weapon drawn, and ordering me to get out of the vehicle.

I, of course, did as instructed. He looked *very* twitchy and I wasn't about to make him any more nervous. I was Mr. Compliance.

After he cuffed me and frisked me (thank ghod I wasn't carrying!), he escorted me to his cruiser and allowed me to ask him a few questions like, ``What the hell is going on?!". Well, it turns out that, when I was in college about 17 years ago, I got a traffic citation for speeding that I never paid (hey, I had so many it was easy to miss one...). This citation was still outstanding, my right to drive in NH had been suspended, and a bench warrant had been issued for my arrest.

Now, it's important to rememeber, this was a *traffic* citation, not a warrant for murder... Barney Fife apparently had a problem with that distinction, however. He seemed to think that I was staking out mon ami Kurtz's house in order to rape his wife, bugger his kids, and marry the family dog or something. At this point, I decided that discretion was the better part of valor and explained what I was really doing, including showing him my PI ID.

Big problem.

In MA, the state doesn't actually issue PI ID's. The company gets a PI license suitable for framing and then issues its own ID's to its investigators. In NH, they apparently issue ID's, badges, bullet-proof jock straps, etc. The Commish didn't think that my ID was real and was even more convinced that I was, at best, a con man, and at worst, the trigger man on the grassy knoll in Dallas.

So, I got a nice ride down to the local police station (which apparently also doubled as the jail, city hall, barber shop, and town garage...) In I go for mug shots, fingerprints, et al. (He was a little squeamish, so I was spared the indignities of a strip search.) Once we're done, he puts me in the lock-up and proceeds to go for breakfast.

Now, of course, you're probably wondering - what about your phone call? Well, me too. Barney tells me, however, that, as long as they don't question me, they can hold me for 24 hours without letting me make any calls and, since he hasn't Mirandized me and isn't going to question me until he hears from his boss (who'll be in later), I'll just have to sit tight. (I checked later and, believe it or not, he's right.)

So, I camp out for the morning (I actually got some sleep since I was beat). The Chief shows up about 2:00 p.m. and comes in to talk to me. I waive my rights (figuring if I request a lawyer, I'll be waiting here for a week) and try to explain the situation to him. He listens, cogitates for a moment, and says he's going to check out my story. Great, thinks I, and I start to give him the phone number. He says he already knows it and off he goes.

Bigger problem.

There is a little, mom-and-pop security guard operation in NH that operates under the name of Northeast Security. In NH, we DBA as Northeast Intelligence Group but my ID says Northeast Security. Chiefie calls the NH Northeast Security, who tell him that they never heard of me. He comes back with the deputy and they proceed to try "good cop, bad cop" on me. Right. I've been doing investigations, interrogations, and interviews for 15 years and these bozos think I'm going to be impressed by their Mutt-and-Jeff routine. I tell them that I've got nothing to say and ask to make a call, which, finally, they allow me to do.

I call my boss (who owns the company) and explain the situation to him. At first, he thinks I'm kidding but, when he's done laughing, he gets on the ball to square things away. Between him, me, and our Director of Investigations, we probably know and have personal, as well as professional relationships, with most of the law enforcement organizations in MA, both local, state, and federal, as well as a few in NH.

A few phone calls and about 30 minutes later, Chief Littlebrain gets a call from the Asst. Commissioner of the NH Dept. of Public Safety, basically asking him what the hell he's doing and telling him to release me before he starts an investigation of the East Podunk PD. Minutes later, I'm a free man again. Unfortunately, TweedleDum and TweedleDee had already charged me with criminal trespass, loitering, and stalking(!) so, while I can go, I have to come back on Monday to be arraigned. That was actually fun, though, because I got to watch the clerk magistrate grill deputy dawg and Chiefie. (I got the outstanding traffic citation dismissed, too, which, since I was, in fact, guilty of that, sort of paid back for all the hassle.)

So, anyway, that whole process pretty much trashed the weekend and Monday. I had to resume the interrupted investigation Tuesday but, luckily, the perp never twigged to any of this other stuff. Finally, Wednesday night, he got careless and I got some good home movies of him snatching a Caddy. I had to go to court today to testify at his arraignment and he's now cooling his heels pending bail.

The upshot - I'm now back and ready to play. I know it's late in the week but there's still plenty of time for us to figure out how to spank France < g > . Please drop me a line and let's talk.

(GERMANY): It is dark, very dark. There is a dim, yellowish light in the distance but it grows no brighter or larger as you approach.

You move slowly but surely as the ground here is flat and featureless, at least what you can see of it through the dim light and grayish, slightly foul haze that clings to you.

From afar, as from a deep well, tinny and faint, a voice calls out: ``hello...?"

You pause, listening closely.

``can anyone hear me? anyone?"

The voice is weak and faint but clear, almost as if it were right next to you.

``is anyone there?"

You can't locate the source of the voice, so you resume your shuffle toward the light, hoping for some surcease from this endless, mindless wandering when you stumble and almost fall. There is something on the ground at your feet. You bend down to look closer.

``it's me. is that you?"

``Yes", you answer. ``Who are you?"

``the kaiser. don't you remember me?"

You take a step back in surprise. The Kaiser?, you think. It can't be.

You look closer and then you see it. The dim yellow light glints off it evily. A dark, sweet-smelling substance clings to it and forms a small pool below it. You reach out to touch it and it seems to slip deeper into his back. He groans softly.

``What happened?", you ask.

``the frog. he did it. without cause."

``He must have had some reason", you say.

``personal gain. selfishness."

``What of the others? How have they reacted?", you inquire.

``nothing. the lion and the bear gloated. the others - nothing."

You rise. This scene, while strangely appropriate for this desolate setting, is too grim even for you. You shake your head, mutter something about ``how the mighty have fallen", and move on. You leave no parting words, offer no assistance, give no encouragement. Instead, you ponder the inevitable sadness of it all and wonder how you will react when it is your time. Will you see it coming? Will you know the moment?

Meanwhile, behind you, you hear: ``it's not too late, brother. there's still time."

``it's not too late."


(KAISER PITT): If a suiciding Russia has you puzzled, take a look at England's order. True, he's still alive but how long will he be now that he has given France *all* the newly acquired German SC's? Unless I missed something, France is going to +3 this year.

(GENTLE KING JAMIE): Nope, you didn't miss anything! Well, ahem, you didn't miss anything *after* the moves, anyway.

(KAISER PITT): It would appear that both Russia and England had a score to settle with Germany...

(GENTLE KING JAMIE): Speaking only for our royal self, we can just say that we know on which side our bread is buttered. And note in passing that the Gut Kaiser had every opportunity to have the mighty British navy on HIS side instead, but oddly chose to aggrandize the French last year (by asking our northern fleet to move to Norway, though the Kaiser knew it would be useless, instead of telling it to guard Edinburgh against the French). Now it's time to pay debts: the Counselor of the Exchequer has his pen hand at the ready, and the Kaiser had better have some draughts prepared, too.

(KAISER PITT): I simply can't understand why.


(KAISER PITT): All my former friends would tell you what a nice guy I was (if they could still talk, that is...)

(GENTLE KING JAMIE): So we asked ourself, ``Former friend of the Kaiser, is he really a nice guy?" But we couldn't think of anything to say.

(TSAR FAZ): From the ethereal darkness, the disembodied voice of Tsar Faz can be heard wailing plaintively, yet accusingly, as certain European monarchs listen in rapt silence...

``Soooo....this is what it comes to, eh? Russia fights loyally with its allies, and we are accused of suiciding? Suicide? If it be suicide, then it was Kevorkian-like Physician-assisted suicide from the combined Medical Houses of Europe. Russia would have preferred to strike for Vienna, but that move depended on a couple other actors contributing. As he has done *every* turn since 1902, Turkey prefers to be in the dominant position, dictating terms, vice cooperating. (Oh, but thanks for convoying me to Switzerland, Hohn; much appreciated, and tactically brilliant, if I don't say so myself.) Turkey accusing Russia of suiciding is as lame (or even moreso) than the initial accusation of Russian lameness. The only `lameness' in Russia are my legs and backside, from being stabbed and kicked around all game, like some sandlot football or whipped cur. I'm `limping lamely' out of my gravesite, is all. And in no small measure due to Turkish blows. Harumph.

``In fact, here's `lame.' Russia writes letters out the kiester - true, as of late only to the West - and gets drilled repeatedly this game. Yet others, with their 20-hour workdays, their weird workshifts, or their game attitudes, can't be `bothered' with communicating or with seeing a different board approach. *That* is lame. What of other's `efforts,' (ha!) - those who figured Russia wasn't worth communicating to on a `real' mutual basis, and thus wrote only self-serving pap - can we not call that `lame' as well? As for the newly-stabbed victims, well...the proof is in the pudding there, too. People who live in glass houses....

``If you call Russia's sacrifice `suicide,' then the Alamo was suicide; falling on a grenade to save your buddy is suicide; and (gasp!) Obi-Whan Kenobi's fight with Darth Vader!!) can be considered `suicide.' Would any real person make such comparisons. Russia begs to differ on terminology.

``Russia had a chance to help annihilate Austria. *Nothing* would have been more satisfying than to occupy the Teflon King's Viennese palace and inflict some reverse humiliation on him. However, that option involved trusting the East - and we know what `trust' means to A/T/G types. So we jumped at the chance to instead hurt the man who, when we had the chance to keep Russia at 2-3 and solidify the Eastern Ramparts against A/T, did nothing but stab me. To see Kaiser Pitt reduced three this turn - and be a potential `creme filling' in the F/T Oreo cookie - well, that's equally good to see.

``Austria stays at three, and, knowing the `birds of a feather' mentality, Russia expects to see at least an attempted rapprochement between A and T...although these two buzzards will now be one very large bird, and one smaller, squawking one....with the runt always looking to check his tailfeathers. To see these foes come to blows before my death was one small wish come true.

``Italy has a special pantheon reserved in the afterlife. He, like England, was loyal and set his sights on a common goal. France owes Italy eternal gratitude for turning East and stopping the A/T menace. And we remember how one little BOH unit tied up multiple enemy forces for quite awhile *and* helped Cal get centers...and we smile, from the grave, about that.

``To England, who always wanted Good Works with Russia and instead got Buffoonery Personified from my poor play: I wish you survival and the chance to hurt common enemies. You deserved better. I *told* you I'd die before you (gad, what a thing to be right about)!

``To France, who awoke from an early-game slumber, beset upon by two enemies and a menacing Hun, only to now be the game co-leader: treat well your green and navy blue friends. See if you can make the Hun grovel on your terms, or else crush his big behind. Listen well to the Sultan, but when his forked tongue emerges, make sure you have snake-oil antidote - just in case. And for the Archduke, well...if *he's* still around after a few turns, buy a Teflon frying pan from him, but don't take any of his lottery tickets or deeds to the Brooklyn Bridge.

``Russia enjoyed the heck out of this game, if only to see `true ghods' in action. Many of your game moves drove me to distraction (obviously, as I was outplayed and now dead), but it was still a good thing to try, and I hope you guys are enjoying it as well (and you Observers, too). First-class players, all the way!

``Reality check: yes, I'm going on vacation next week. And yes, I'll then be in the field for all summer, returning in mid-August to get ready to teach. But it wasn't for either of those reasons that I chose to support France. Quite honestly, I could've stuck around on someone else's perpetual `life support' system as a 1-center pawn (an influential one, yes, but one still destined to never regain my homeland and thus build). And I wanted to do that with Hohn, and Pitt, and anyone else willing to deal. I've had my share of vacuous words. Maybe when you're at 10, or 6, or even at 3, you can legitimately question the move. But I saw the chance to better aid an ally this way - with me in MUN, I become an obstacle to French expansion. And I honestly figured Edi and Pitt would order in such a way as to ensure I would've died (once again, fooled even in their antipathy). We gambled that France's move would succeed, whereas a Russian thrust may or may not have succeeded. Better to go for the sure thing, even if meant my death. Again, question it if you will, but from the game perspective, I thought this was the better way. My death is the last strategic move I could do to influence the game. Sure, it frees me up for other games, as well as my real job and life (some of you should relate, as mentioned earlier), but that was always secondary. I fight in every game to the death, and a one-center Russia (while discussed with France even until the last day of deadline) would've been just ducky. But so is helping reduce Pitt, and watching Austria be the speedbump in the middle of the F/T/I highway.

``This *is*, last time I checked, only a game, for those more rabid for victory than me....

``Russia thus ceases its speaking from the grave. BirSauron may now return to hearing his own dark whispers across the Transylvanian countryside (those are jackals outside your walls, BeerSon, not voices of salvation). Hohn `Go with the Flow' Cho may return to his busy work schedule, emerging to make a quickie deal with his next accomplice in crime. The Pitt-Meister can find a way to retain his 6 in the face of a big E/F, and ruminate on his stab (ah, the poetic justice of it all). We wish him every offer he gave to us - and `more.' And the West, well...EFI can see what transpires, make the appropriate deals, and hopefully - once, perhaps - say, `thanks, Tsar,' for the ultimate sacrifice and for helping. At least that's we hope."

And with that, the willowly wisp of Tsar Faz - shrouded in liquid white, just as his dissolved units were all game - ascended (A-scended!?, says England) into Dip Valhalla, where he could better watch the events on the board unfold.

Good gaming to you all, and to Jim-Bob: thanks for the chance to play, and for being an outstanding pubber, GM, and friend. We shall yet cross paths was *great* to talk again with you during this game's course. You're a good man, as are all these board rats.

(GENTLE KING JAMIE): The broadcasts just aren't *long* enough, that's the problem with this game.

(EDI): Do you mind restating that in an appropriate Ghodstoo format, we do have an audience to satisfy...non-paying as it may be.

(GENTLE KING JAMIE): Oh, yeah, sure. The, uh, white knights, of, uh, the... round table, er, set sail in the sunset, their, mm, flags... no, chargers.... Oh screw it.

(EDI): As for the Russian salutation, I might add that the main reason I stayed quiet vs Russia in the last two seasons was that it appeared that the higher communication gave more attention to our plight and as such I felt that a low profile was needed. I thank the Russian for his final move which allowed me to pull off the temporary stop in the east against the Turk and the Italians.

Ex-Russia might want to take another look at the board in regard to the French-Italian relations and he will see that the Italian has turned against him despite the fact that Turkey has repeatedly stabbed him.

In retrospect I still find some of Russia's diplomatic moves and slashing manner against multiple neighbors rather odd, however I suspect that the odd combination of player styles, backgrounds, combined with the higher profile of the game may have encouraged Russia to take a more risky course of action than he might otherwise attend to. Have a good vacation and we will see you when we see you.

(GENTLE KING JAMIE): The Italian Armada is preparing to execute one of its famous ``feint west, strike east" manouevers; a trick with which the Grand Duke must himself be painfully familiar. Yes, it's slow, but it has proved to be *so* effective.

Or it might be the second half of a drawn-out ``feint east, strike west", it's so hard to tell, that's the beauty of the routine.

Or possibly the exTsar is colorblind and failed to notice what was going on. Those greens look a lot like deep blues. But the yellows really do stand out from their background, don't they?


``manus of" Is this the final proof that we need to know Manus is a space cadet?

(manus of as OBSERVER): Guilty as charged. :-)

(AUSTRIA): The shadow of the master once again falls over the Dark Tower in Vienna. Purged from its moat is the foul dropping of the Roman pagan dogs. Liberation in Trieste was also hard won but again the vile legions of green slime have been vanquished.

While at the height of these military victories which once again demonstrated (if not in a somewhat vulgar manner) the Golden Age ESP feared by those who should have known better, BirSauron can not help to be saddened at the degeneration of the Turkish hordes to greed, avarice and rampant disorder. ``What a shame it is that what could have been has come to settle for such a display as what we have witnessed. Is there no sanity in this world that has not been sucked into a vat of self focused engrossment and envy for the economy of those about them?" As he looked into the setting sun, the Lord of Darkness sent an age old whisper to be carried on the winds to the west and north: ``Come, Come, Come to the Darkside."

(TURKEY): Regardless, I did enjoy playing with you, Mark (even if we never were able to reach quite the same wavelength at quite the same time), and I wish you the best in your endeavors.

(RUSSIA): Likewise. Comments about a game are in no way related to comments about humans. All of you are great players, as well as Great Americans.

(CAL WHITE, A PROUD CANUCKSKIE): Excuse me? Now you're getting personally insulting... heh heh (hiding behind the border)

(RUSSIA): If I didn't believe that, I wouldn't have sworn an oath to die for you in some hellhole, should the call go out.

(CAL WHITE, A PROUD CANUCKSKIE): Well, that's appreciated. I didn't know you could play hockey? :) Take off, eh, you hoser! (By the way, I never even heard the term hoser until it got on SNL)

(ENGLAND): Hey, Cal (et al.), I thought that stuff was supposed to be just among us players (and Jim), not for the observers. You BROADCAST it instead of PRESS TO AIRTFGE. Also, Faz resigned, so he doesn't get press anymore.

(ITALY): Seems to me as if very little has been ``broadcast" this game. I figured the observers should get to see SOME interaction between the players... Comments?

(ENGLAND): Fair enough, only you reproduced stuff from Faz's note that he was expecting to be kept amongst ourselves.

(BLABBERMOUTH CAL): Gee, I must have missed his personal bank account and credit card numbers...

(TURKEY): So *that's* what you call them... ((Canuckskie's)) And all this time I thought the PC term was ``positionally disadvantaged Americans".

(AUSTRIA): And here I thought they were the 14th colony.

(nfitz of as OBSERVER): or 5th column ...

(BENEDICT ARNOLD, A TRUE PATRIOT!): Nah, you guys became the 11th province when you lost the War of 1812.

(GERMANY): Easy fellas! All these numbers are really tough on our northern neighbors. 10 fingers, 10 toes, and 1 nose means the largest number they can handle is 21 (which, when they get to it, reminds them that they're legal now it's time to chug another beer). Oh...wait a minute...I forgot that most of them don't have only 10 fingers and 10 toes. The ones that do are the ones that lost the extras in chainsaw accidents... Spoken like a TRUE Canadian, which is the only type of person who could believe that a REAL American patriot could lose to a bunch of Quebecois...

(schwarz of as OBSERVER): It was a tie! Didn't you read the Treaty of Ghent?

(CAL [CAPTAIN CANUCK] WHITE): Tie, my gluteus maximus! I've seen enough John Wayne agitprop flics to know that if we hadn't WON, we'd all have to speak American up here. Egad!

(schwarz of as OBSERVER): Anyway, we'll take you guys on now, and I bet the Quebecois would fight with us.

(CAL [CAPTAIN CANUCK] WHITE): You can have them. BTW, All the Newfies are HOPING that Quebec separates. They figure it'll cut two hours off the drive to Toronto.

(schwarz of as OBSERVER): Of course, I think Idaho and environs might fight against the federal US Government so it might be an interesting ``rematch."


(DEAN, deanandlea of as OBSERVER): Uh, Pitt, hate to break it to you but Canuck kids mature a lot faster than those whiny little brats that are being bred in the United States of Smith and Wesson. ((Did you say Wesson?? See below....)) The drinking age in Canada is 19 [18 in Alberta]. And we drink real beer [unlike the watered down rat piss which Americans are so fond of]. Another Canadian ((Actually, we are speedily acquiring fondnesses for really tasty beers. For me, who always loved tasty beers, it has been wonderful. I've even had beers that were to far out there even for me!))

(AUSTRIA): It does not really count, after all there is so much snow on the roads that their drunk driving rate is distorted since it like having moveable air bags where ever they go, and anyway car accidents are always blamed on the weather and not the driver's blood level.

(ITALY): I guess it was you that I saw with the skis on the back of your car last week, eh? I guess you didn't realize our temperature of 30 degrees was Celsius ( 85 Fahrenheit)...

(WES, makinw of as OBSERVER): Hey! We up here in the Left hand corner of the States drink lots of Real Beer. (Stock in Portland Brewing = discounts!) I'll even meet you halfway (give or take) in Seattle for a Red Hook or two...

(RUSSIA, FROM THE GRAVE): Well, if you and Hohn would stop sending reams of broadcast press and concentrate on the game... HA hahahahahahahahaha... You know, I kinda like this sniping from the rooftop thing...

(ITALY): If only.... heh heh

FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE: 1995 W, Regular Diplomacy


Summer 1909

AUSTRIA (Johnson): has a TRI.

FRANCE (Pustilnik): has a BUR, a PIE, f NTH, a GAL,

f NWG, f BAR, f BEL, f DEN, a KIE, a RUH.

GERMANY (Alme): has a BER, a MUN.

ITALY (Williams): R a tri-ALB; has a VEN, a TYO, a GRE, f ADR,

a ALB, f ION, f AEG. RUSSIA (Rothenheber): R f den-BAL; has f NWY, a SIL, a STP, a VIE, a BUD, a BUL, a SWE,

a SYR, f SKA, a BOH, a SMY, f BAL, a RUM, f CON.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Jonas Johnson, 3649 SE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97202, (503) 238-4430 ($3) ENGLAND: John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041.

FRANCE: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651 ($9)

GERMANY: Hank Alme, 5157 Norma Way #217, Livermore, CA 94550, (510) 606-7265 ($3)

almehj of

ITALY: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947 ($5)

dwilliams of

RUSSIA: Ed Rothenheber, 11757 Lone Tree Court, Columbia, MD 21044, (410) 740-7269 ($3)

Rothenheber_Ed of

TURKEY: David Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722, (603) 882-3523 ($4)

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GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Write more press!!


(OFFICIAL FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE QUOTE OF THE SEASON): ``To demand of strength that it should not express itself as strength, that it should not be a desire to overcome, a desire to throw down, a desire to become master, a thirst for enemies and resistances and triumphs, is just as absurd as to demand of weakness that it should express itself as strength. A quantum of force is equivalent to a quantum of drive, will, effect-more, it is nothing other than precisely this very driving, willing, effecting, and only owing to the seduction of language (and of the fundamental errors of reason that are petrified in it) which conceives and misconceives all effects as conditioned by something which causes effects, by a `subject,' can it appear otherwise. For just as the popular mind separates the lightning from its flash and takes the latter for an action, for the operation of a subject called lightning, so popular morality also separates strength from expressions of strength, as if there were a neutral substratum behind the strong man, which was free to express strength or not to do so. But there is no such substratum: there is no `being' behind doing, effecting, becoming; `the doer' is merely a fiction added to the deed-the deed is everything. The popular mind in fact doubles the deed; when it sees the lightning flash, it is the deed of a deed: it posits the same event first as cause and then a second time as its effect.'' From Section 13 of the First Essay of On the Genealogy of Morals.

(BOOB to NIETZSCHE): You can be so wordy. Do you mean that ``pretty is as pretty does''? I wonder if you're getting anyone to read more of you??

(JOHN BOY-BOOB): Be glad to. But it has to wait 'til next time. I've had a couple of setbacks to go with my good fortunes. But after this week I'm putting myself on vacation and I'll have loads of free time. Might even read some Nietzsche.

(DAF to JIMBOB): You know, maybe I'm getting old, but was that press about where the original units are now the most tedious press you've ever heard (typed up)? You can see what happily married life has done for his press writing skills.

(JIM-BOOB to DAF): Yeah, I noticed. And, unlike with E-Mail handy people like you, I had to retype every word. Yet, it would take at least a dozen press letters like that for Don to get even close to what I inflicted on him over the years of Fiat Bellum and Flick of the Wrist, so I don't dare complain. But you can....


(DAF to CHARLOTTE): I think you'd better put your ``come hither" smile in your pocket and back away slow. The Italian is mine. It's taken me years to hone Don into the lean mean golden toady he is now, and I'm not going to let some bimbo publisher's wife come around and undo all that training. Now, I can understand why you are looking in other pastures, living with Jim Bob and such, but that doesn't mean you can just cut in on another woman's toady. You've been warned!

(DAF to GM WIFE): You go for the ribald stuff, hmmm? Did you ever hear the one about the man from Nantucket?

(BOOB to DAF): I didn't get a chance to show her that one before I went to press and I didn't hear from Don either. They've left you a bit out in the cold. I'm hiding in the woodshed....

(DAF to DON): When I get you back to the house you're going to wish you'd never been born, mister.

(DAF to FRANCE): Hello again Michael. I knew you when you were a snot nose (I mean that in the nicest way) beginner. How are you these days?

(BOOB to MICHAEL): Yeah, write some press, you've been the silent one among silent ones. What was that barely suppressed giggle over the phone as you gave me orders for the other game???

(DAF to ENGLAND): John Sweetie! How have you been? I haven't heard from you in ages. Write me some press and let me know what's going on. Last I heard you were taking college courses through Indiana State(?). I miss you!

(BOOB to DAF): Yeah, I've been missing him too.

(DAF to GM): Did someone mention Wesson Oil????!!!!!

(JOHN BOY-DON): See ya' in the next press!

(BOOB to JOHN BOY): Now, why would you say that???

(DAF to TURKEY): Okay, tell me if you've heard this one: How are Laurie and Danny???

(JIM-BOB to HOBBYISTS): Now how transforming can you get???

(DAF to BOSOX FAN WEST): Still cheering for the ``Dismal, Doomed to Failure, If-They-Were- in-Chicago-They'd Be the Cubs" Red Sox, right Don? When are you going to learn? My Mariners were once a bottom of the AL West club, but with the magic of Griffey, Johnson, and Rodriguez, we are now sitting at the top. Now, was that so hard? Why can't your guys do that?

NEKAYAH: 1993 ID, Regular Diplomacy



Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Brad Wilson, 123 N. 3rd Street, 3rd Floor, Easton, PA 18042, (610) 923-6610 ($4) ENGLAND: Rich Shipley, 1001 Mariner Court, Joppatown, MD 21085, (410) 360-1005 ($1)

FRANCE: Phil Reynolds, 2896 Oak Street, Sarasota, FL 34237, (941) 953-6952 ($4)

GERMANY: Doug Kent, 10214 Black Hickory Rd., Dallas, TX 75243 (214) 234-8386

ITALY: Stuart Lancaster, 4127 SW Webster, Seattle, WA 98136, (206) 937-4542 ($4)

bb405 of or bb404 of

RUSSIA: Randy Ellis, General Delivery, Grant Village, Yellowstone Natl. Park, WY 82190 ($5)

TURKEY: Jeff Ellis, 2120 Ramrod, #1517, Henderson, NV 89014, (702) 450-6361 ($2)

jeff6911 of

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Past the last chance for end game statements! But I hear that Phil has one coming along and since he won, I'll be patient. This game really, really goes away next issue and life of the game subs end for Rich, Brad, and Phil. The default is to apply your NMR insurance to the sub until it expires. Tell me if you want to do something else.

COVINGTON CROSS: 1993 AQ, Regular Diplomacy



Spring 1913

FRANCE (Rauterberg): a par-BUR, f nth-SKA, a RUH-kie a pie-TYO, a HOL S a ruh-kie,

f ADR S a tyo-tri, a tun-NAP, a tyo-TRI, a VEN S a tyo-tri, f wes-TUN, f nap-APU,

f eng-NTH, f TYH C a tun-nap.

GERMANY (Zarr): a MUN S f kie, a GAL S a vie, a BOH S a vie, a SIL S a mun, a pru-BER,

a UKR S a gal, a VIE S TURKISH a ser-tri (nso), a stp-NWY, a MOS S a ukr, f bal-DEN, f KIE h.

TURKEY (Johnson): a BUL-rum, a GRE-bul, a ARM S a sev, f EAS S f ion, a BUD h,

a SEV S a rum-ukr, a SER S a bud, a RUM-ukr, f AEG S f ion, f ION h.

Addresses of the Participants

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Drive, Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339

Pprosit of

GERMANY: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

RUSSIA: Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02192 ($5)

72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

TURKEY: Stan Johnson, 1254 East Broadway Road #56, Mesa, AZ 85204, (602) 668-1105

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The FG draw is rejected and reproposed. Please vote with your summer orders. If you don't vote, the draw cannot pass.


(BOOB): All still quiet on the Western Front....

COLUMBUS CHILL: 1993 J, Regular Diplomacy


Summer 1915

AUSTRIA (Davis): R a sil-BOH; has a BUD, a BOH, a TRI, a TYO, a GAL.

FRANCE (Zarr): has a GAS, f BRE, a MAR, a POR, f SPA(NC), f MID, f ENG.

GERMANY (Jones): has a STP, a SIL, a PRU, a LVN, a MUN, a BUR, a RUH, a WAR, f BAL, f GOB.

TURKEY (Weiss): has a BUL, a TUS, a SER, a UKR, f TYH, a SEV, f WES, f NAF, f GOL, f VEN.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Rick Davis, 2009 Bodega Avenue, Petaluma, CA 94952, (707) 773-1044

redavis914 of FRANCE: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

GERMANY: Charles Jones, 1722 Quail Circle, Corona, CA 91720-4155, (909) 735-8981

RUSSIA: Eric Schlegel, 314 Fords Lane, Aberdeen, MD 21001, (410) 272-3314

TURKEY: Richard Weiss, 231 Guerrero Drive, Tamuning, Guam 96911-3808, (671) 647-3478

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) GAFT and GFT draws are proposed. Please vote with your Fall orders. Failure to vote vetoes both proposals.


(FRA-EUR): Won't this game ever end?

(EUROPE to FRANCE): Someday, someday, but not before its time! (TUR-THE REAL TURKEYS): Decent start, kids. (TUR-FRA): Now I know you are both a liar and a pragmatist. Weren't you quoted as how boring the game was and you'd never move your units. PS, how about joining in getting Germany before he gets you. Do you really believe the tooth fairy is going to give you a 17-17 draw?

(TUR-AUS): And what do you want in your Christmas stocking? (TUR-MIKEY): What a silly question he asked. Of course cross-pressing improves one's performance in gaming. I have Elmer Fudd in my sights. Tell me when to squeeze the trigger. However, you have it all wrong. I don't owe you any favors, anything more than any other gamer. Well, there is the gambling debt you paid for me. And, as they say in Cajun Country, I'd rather owe you than cheat you out of it. By the way, I would owe you a big favor if you did get me that there doctorin' job in Yellowstone next summer. And, do me a really big favor, if anyone from Ramblin Way can figure out that you could win them a prize by giving information as to why my railroad line is named ``Stella Blue" - DON'T !!

SUFFREN SUCCOTASH: 1993 AI, Regular Diplomacy



Spring 1908

AUSTRIA (Pustilnik): a SER S a alb-tri, a ALB-tri, a BUD-vie.

ENGLAND (Hoffman): bld a yor (imp) bld withheld; PLAYS ONE SHORT;

a STP h, a LVN h, f CLY h, a MOS S GERMAN a ukr-sev, f NWG h, f GOB h, f BAR h.

FRANCE (James): a pie-VEN, f ION C a ven-syr, f EAS C a ven-syr, f ADR C a ven-syr,

a TRI h, a ven-SYR, a TYO S a tri, f AEG-con.

GERMANY (Emmert): a sil-WAR, a war-UKR, a BOH-vie, a ukr-SEV,

a GAL-bud, a SMY-ank.

RUSSIA (Schultz): a sev-ukr (ann), a ARM-ank, f CON S a arm-ank,

a BUL S f con, a RUM-gal.

TURKEY (Andruschak): a GRE S AUSTRIAN a alb (otm).

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651

ENGLAND: Karl Hoffman, 395 Imperial Way #220, Daly City, CA 94015, (415) 991-2394

KarlHoffmn of

FRANCE: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956

dkbn of

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of ITALY: Dan Gorham, PO Box 279, Belmopan, Belize, CENTRAL AMERICA

Danielg of RUSSIA: John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041 TURKEY: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

GM EMERITUS: Garret Schenck, now lost, HELP!

GSchenck39 of - CANCELLED!

Game Notes:

1) Boy, I gotta pay more attention to this last game in the szine. Obviously, as a number of you let me know, England is not allowed to build in Yorkshire. One would have thought that I would have caught it when I drew the map, if not before. The unit has been removed and England also will play one short.

2) The dreaded Western Triple FEG has been proposed. Please vote with your Summer orders and if you fail to vote, the draw cannot pass.


(FRANCE to WORLD): That three-way draw so despised by the world's press for all these years must be looking better all of the time.

(TURKEY-GERMANY): Thank you for your letter dated 3 June. Sorry if you misunderstood my attitude, perhaps I did not make it clear. I apologize. My main problem with cast-iron triple alliances is that they make the game so ho-hum predictable. I want predictable? At times, sure, and that is what my home computer is for. Predictable games like Chess, Wari, and so on.

(BERLIN to PROVIDENCE): Hey, I didn't realize you were letting us build in non-supply center spaces. I take back my decline, and will build a fleet in the Black Sea. Thanks.

(BOOB to EMMERT): Sure, sure, kick a guy when he's down.... in case you don't already know the answer, NO WAY HOSEA!!!!

(ENGLAND to GM): I actually did make the mistake of building in Yorkshire intentionally - mainly because I heard my allies were withholding their builds as a gesture of good-will, and if they actually did, I didn't want to be the only partypooper building as much as I can when it's really not needed. Then, in case my allies were scamming me about withholding their builds as a prelude to a stab (highly unlikely as it is) I could just scream that you screwed up my orders and I meant to build in Lon. ((But I save all of the original orders, both E-Mail and postal, so I could (and did) check the ``videotape'' and found that you (shure enuf) tried to build in Yorkshire.)) The thought actually did cross my mind that I might get away with it, you know, if the GM is a dufus, but I guess your subbers aren't all dufuses like you since THEY had to wake you up to the fact that their is no supply center in Yor! ((Yeah, whatta Boob...))

(PARIS to BERLIN AND LONDON): We may have to eliminate every last eastern power before they recognize defeat. Eastern cultures tend to be very fanatical in their beliefs.

(TURKEY-GM): Come to think of it, playing computer games could be considered a hobby for many. It certainly involves single-mindedness, accumulation of equipment, and a counter-balance to what we do at work. Games like SimCity and SimFarm are indeed Absorbing But Not Transforming.

(BOOB to HARRY): Indeed, I think the overwhelming popularity of computer games is a perfect example of that particular phrase. What I was hinting at last time was that I don't think all hobbies have to be quite that conservative in their impacts on us.

(ARMY VENICE to ARMY SMYRNA): You didn't think that you would be having all of that fun for yourself did you? I hear the weather is great down there this time of year.

(JOHN-BOOB AND THE REST): Back with press next time - to my last breath.

(JAMES to WORLD): I still think that Turkey will last longer than either Russia or Austria. If he votes for a three way he could survive the entire game.

(ANDRUSCHAK-KEITH): (In answer to a press item in the game ``The Hermit'') Probably the most valuable classes I took in High School were the math classes, because when I joined the US Navy my very high test scores allowed me to be trained as a computer technician, which has provided me with a nice income all my life. 10 years Navy, 13 Years the JPL, and now the USPS.

(BOOB to HARRY): But we want the more complete story on ``marching true'', where was that?? Otherwise, I wouldn't bet on you finishing this game....

Personal Note to You:

File translated from TEX by TTH, version 1.0.