Welcome to Tinamou #36, produced by Dave Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline NH, 03033 (email: [email protected] ). Tinamou now appears on the web in conjunction with TAP. The web page has everything you’ll find here including maps. Go to Jim’s index page http://www.diplom.org/DipPouch/Postal/Zines/TAP and check it out, your comments and suggestions are welcome!

I mentioned last time that I’d be looking for Valentines stuff in the stores, and sure enough I saw the displays even before the New Year started! What about a short break at least! It’s been this way for a long time now, but its still a pity that the holidays are more about the merchandise than the spirit of the holiday.

Sign up for something! Copernicus, Who’s Your Buddy and Tour de Farce are all going to end soon. Dust off your maps and sign up! For anyone out there who enjoys receiving actual letters, join the postal game. Find out for yourself how email has hurt the art of communication. Or try a new game. Anyone who actually reads this thing has figured out by now that I don’t have a lot to say. I do Tinamou so you’ll have a place to play games, not because I’ve got something I want to get off my chest. If no one’s going to play, we might as well save a few trees and save Jim some postage. How about a Railway Rivals game? I’ve just started playing this game and would be happy to take up the banner now that Octopus’s Garden is on hiatus. I only have the three maps I’ve played on, but I’d be happy to take suggestions, just send me a map. Time for a new Breaking Away game too. Anything else?

Deadline for Tinamou 37 is April 1

Tinamou appears in every other TAP. The game deadlines are always the Monday before the appropriate TAP deadline, which is always a Saturday. See TAP for the dates.

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Regular diplomacy Copernicus

Okay, this one was interesting. Russia retreats Boh to Gal, but then tries to order Boh instead of Gal. Because of that, there is no attack on Sil, so the support for the attack on War is not cut and War is displaced. This causes a grand shuffle where Pru goes to War and Lvn goes to Pru and Bal goes to Lvn and Den goes to Bal, and it would have kept on shuffling, but Kie and Swe bounce in Den and derail the train. Down south, Vie fails to dislodge Tyo, and because Tyo is supporting an attack into Vie the support is not cut, so Boh (the Italian one, not the Russian one) dislodges Vie, which can’t retreat to Gal, because that’s where the Russian Boh is, and so it is destroyed. Doesn’t sound too good for Russia so far, except that he has Smy surrounded and had the best of it in the northern seas. I’m not going to call it, you all will have to have at it again and see where it takes us.

Russian a boh – gal

Russia to Italy/Germany: Ok, I'm giving you guys two more turns to lose this to me, then you'll have to take a draw.

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Breaking Away: Tour de Farce. Turn 13

The four horseman are riding like the wind and apocalypse is looming on the horizon! Death and War and SV Clinton ride together for the finish. The real Clinton may have let the Bushes have all the fun, but in the electronic world you can cut and paste your own reality. And it looks like there will be a big charge from the back of the field. Look for those last riders to be finishing well ahead of the pack. If this were short track speed skating we’d have some people bouncing off the pads in this one. Quite a race!

I’ve enjoyed this and I hope you have too. I’d be happy to run another one, so sign up now if you’re interested. Another dozen games or so and some of us will actually start to have a strategy.

CONQUEST - BOOB: Talk all you want, but you're still looking at me from the rear!

GM – CONQUEST: Yeah, but I think you’re going to swap ends before this is over.

CONQUEST - PEKUAH: You talk pretty big, but you gonna need bigger cards than those if you wanna catch me!

WAR - FIELD: Looks like my time has come!

DEATH - LIVING: And I'm going to catch most of you before this race is over.

FAMINE - GM: I'm hungry for some points, but I'm not sure I'm going to taste any this game. Not unless Goz lines up a nice pack for me to draft behind.

GM – Famine: Well, you got quite a draft. Thank Goz and Boob for that.

Pekuah to GM: I know what I am doing, I'm back to protecting my Princess. I gave her an extra point last time, you see.

GM – TAP: Ah yes, and what about all those points that Imlac just gave everyone else? Perhaps a 4 would have been wiser?

Boob to Characters: Yeah, you might have me here, it is going

to be VERY close. I think we both have Goz under control though. SV Clinton wil be JUST short, not a surprise for an electronic concoction.

GM – Boob: Just short, but no one is in place to pass him so he’ll still cross the line in second.

Boob to the Horsemen: Conquest should NOT score big points, but Death may be another matter.

GM – Boob: Oh yeah, Death is going to be riding cleanup for his good buddy War.

Boob to GM: Damn, this is going to be a mess, baby needs a big score, baby needs a big score.....

GM – Boob: Which baby would that be, Carter, Moron, Stacy or Famine?

Boob to Elvis: Catch Conquest, go for it, you can do it!!!

Carter to Clinton: Unless Boob isn't paying attention, we're done for.

Bush to Carter: So you're saying there's still hope?

Clinton - Bush: No, he's saying we have to depend on a Boob.

SV-Clinton -> War: Here I come! Slow down, will ya?

Triumph -> Boob: You sad little monkey. Haven't you realized you're not going to win this race? You'll be lucky to finish in second.

GM – Triumph: I’m betting on third unless someone gives him some help.

Triumph -> Elvis: if you drafted this turn, you could even finish in the money. Viva Las Vegas!!

GM – Triumph: Nope, he was creating drafts.

Segue Sam -> Elvis: Speaking of Las Vegas, wasn't that movie Ocean's Eleven just a dream? Also, CSI is now my favorite TV show. They should do a Survivor Vegas edition. No food for 39 days, but as many cocktail drinks as you wish.

Immunity challenges could involve Draw Poker, Blackjack, Roulette, my favorite, Baccarat, and the famous Vegas game, Spot the Hooker! (False positives in this game can be _very_ embarrassing!)

The second column (to the left of the rider’s name) contains the card played this round. New cards received are in bold.

(16) The Four Horsemen (Eric Brosius: 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02492 [email protected])

(16) The Goz Transportation Co. (Warren Goesle: 3907 Cedar Ridge, #1B, Indianapolis, IN 46235 [email protected])

Team Manager: Gerald Ford

Dead Rock Stars (Phil Reynolds, 2896 Oak St., Sarasota, FL 34237-7344 [email protected])

(19) Late Night Characters (Rick Desper [email protected])

Coached by Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog

(26) The Abyssinian Prince, (Jim Burgess: 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 [email protected])

(1) The Warm Fuzzies ( Sara Reichert, 20805 Margaret St., Carson, CA 90745-1224)

Team Leader: Sweet Sara

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Woolworth II-D: Who’s Your Buddy?

Russian general Arnold Schwarzkofski terminates his third German army in two seasons. Germans reclaim Berlin, but it’s a three for one swap. And there’s a whole lot of bouncing going on in the Med, but no one actually moves anywhere.

rus a stp – fin

Rus a ber – pru

Spring 1908 Moves

GER a ber annihilated

GER a mun annihilated

RUS f kie – bal, otb

Kraut-Norse: Ya, we both make some mistakes this game, ya. Care to support me into Kiel if I didn't get there this turn?

GM – Kraut: You got there, but it was just a bit more expensive than you might have hoped!

Kraut-France: OK, we're snuggled up tight... now what? I'm already bent over, but facing the other way.

Germany-Austria: You still around here somewhere? See that I came back to help you, albeit several seasons too late!

GM Germany: Austria being the one place you could have retreated to! It would have been a short stay in Vienna, but at least you could have visited!

Spain to France--no hard feelings over my sunken fleet. It was old and rusty anyway. I just built a newer one in Portugal.

GM – Spain: And there it sits. Don’t put it in the water or it might rust too!

Spain to Ger/FR/Scan---Hey allies. I have a fleet in the Barents!!! What say we try to setup a convoy from St Pete, through Gibraltar, to Syria?? Wouldn't that be great fun?

GM – Spain: Stp – Bar, Bar – Nwg, Ska – Nth, Mao – Eng, Por – Mao, Gre – Aeg, yup, with a little coordination you could have set it up.

Vikings to Kraut eaters---I help you der best I can. Will give support and not take your centers. Instructions would be helpvoll. Where did all dese Russkies come from??

Vikings to all --- Where DID all dese Russkies come from?

GM – Vikings: Why don’t you ask them, they’ll be happy to come over and explain it in person.

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A**HOLE is under new management. As the first step in revamping the company and putting it back on track new CEO Andrew York has announced a renaming of the company to "We know nothing, and it’s all been shredded anyway so you can’t prove it.com". Just kidding. Actually, Andy has renamed the company to Bartertown, Mark III.

The markets were very quite this time as everyone is afraid of the new economy and is keeping their ducats close to home:

HDBC VI: buys a population factor and mans the empty ore factory.

Bartertown, Mark III: buys a water factory and retrains some Ore workers to man it.

RDC: buys a population factor and gets his second Ore plant up and running.

MMC: buys a water factory and shuffles some workers to man it

Swiftsure: Buys two population factors and goes heavily into Ore production

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A few more players have joined the lists, but we are still woefully short of a new game. Only 7 game starts last year that Conrad registered. Come on now, prove that this hobby isn’t dying!!

Fog of War Phil Reynolds variant where you only see what your units can see. Best not leave that back door open, someone might slip in.

Dead of Night: Forget what your units can see, you only know where your units are. Everything else is a mystery. Only for the truly perverse! Makes Fog of War look like Light of Day.

Perestroika Diplomacy: Add an economic twist to the classic game. Centers generate revenue, armies and fleets must be maintained, and treasuries can be sacked! Rules are available on request.

Signed up: Art Schleinkofer, Phil Reynolds, Jack McHugh

Standard Diplomacy: Nothing new, nothing novel. The only twist to this game is that I strongly encourage players without email to join up. The long deadlines make it easier to get those negotiations in. That is not to say that I do not want people with email joining, but please do not do so unless you are prepared to negotiate fully with those people who don’t have email and rely on the Postal Service.

Signed up: Phil Reynolds, Chris Lockheardt, Bob Dowrey

Black Hole Diplomacy: Watch the spaces disappear and the trips to the other side of the board get shorter and shorter. No stalemate lines in this variant. Great for those who like a free-for-all.

Signed up: Jack McHugh

Just the results please: Don’t really know what to call this one as I just came up with it. Perhaps it’s been tried before. The twist for this variant is that each season only the ending unit positions are published, not the orders. You’ll know who went where, but not who helped whom, or want may have been tried unsuccessfully.

Signed up: Phil Reynolds

Colonia: A world spanning variant with colonies. Lots of room for interesting convoys and plenty of interactions. A great game for practicing your tactics.

Railway Rivals: Anyone interested in a railroad game? Send me your favorite map and I’ll be happy to run it. Come on Jim, you called for this so you have to sign up!

Breaking Away: Tour de Farce is wrapping up, time to start a new one. Pump up your tires and join in the fun.

Reader’s Choice: I’m open to anything, just send me the rules and if I think I can run it, I’ll offer it.

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Shrek backflips his way to W7, but his antics aren’t enough as the Boob plants a dirigible right on his green backside. Lucky for him it’s a very short trip to the kitchen and he’ll be back the second segment of next turn, fully regenerated and stuffed with cookies. The Dalton brothers dodge a snowstorm by ducking through the shed, but still find themselves a choice target as they come out the other side, although the point blank gift from the bunny seems to have upset Mammary Ice Person’s aim a bit. Aboobable’s aim is right on however as he scores two hits.

Snowsoftshoe to Boob: I'm the most intelligent creature in the yard—but that doesn't amount to a hills o' beans in this crazy world.

Snowshoe Hare to Daltons: Take that, you schizoid! (Or, is that, schizoids?...)

GM – Snowshoe: OUCH, right in the door!

Snowshoe Hare to Snowman de-Balled: Why, you sneaky little rat-bastard. I'll fix you for good... fix you like a cat!

PJGIV to Boob: These guys know nothing. Why, I remember when we had to play Snowball Fighting in our bare feet, surrounded by pizza boxes, in ten feet of imaginary snow! Uphill both ways to the house!

GM – PJGIV: Pizza, you had pizza! What a life of luxury.

Shrek -> Snowman: Ouch! That hurt! Take that! (pokes Snowman in eyes, Moe-style, and merrily flips away).

BOOB to SHREK: I know who you are now.... and you will find extra snow in your bed soon!

BIGGER BOOB to LITTLE BALLED ONE: I got no moths, I don't wear no wool, I go natural....

GM – Bigger Boob: I think we were all a lot happier without you having conjured up that imagery!

BOOB to DALTONS: Come into my lair, said the spider to the fly....

BOOB to HARE: Bye, Bye, see if we miss you!!

GM – Boob: You can’t miss him if you don’t throw something at him!

BOOB to ALL: Y'all better be at the Diplomatic Incident, so I can pelt y'all with REAL snow, if we get any.

GM – Boob: I’m bringing my own, never trust in nature to provide you with ammunition.

Da Little boob with the big nipple (it is cold out) to the Big Balled/Torsioned Testicled one: A snow man has snow balls. Which you obviously don't.

Clowns on the Run to Nearly Dead Bunny: The only place you will be running to is to your mommy's house for some hot chocolate and sock drying while she tries to console your unstoppable sobbing and tears from having wet your pants, lost your Hit Points and been disgraced by the one with Balls.

Bald Observer to Dead Bunny:

Tisn't funny

What no hare

And lots of snow

Will do to the Energizer bunny.

Snow Fairy/GM to Children: Don't forget to look at the "VP" row and see that the one "with Balls" is winning.

Real GM – Snow Fairy: Not any more!

Daltons to Snowshoe Hare: Do they serve red-wine and herb sauce in your new housing location? And how would you know that the "real shreck" can speak in complete sentences?

Duelin Dalton to competitors: Aboobable and the Partridge in the Pear Tree root for the Patriots. Hogs root for truffles. Are the Patriots also found in the ground?

GM to Duelin Dalton: That’s ON the ground, as it keep it there and put Warner there and time to que the Queen CD, cause WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!

Brainy Zainy Dalton to Drueling: Trees root for water. Is snow water? Is ice water? Can water be ice? Can water be steam? Is there a fourth state of matter?

GM – BZD: Does any of this matter?

Osama who's been laden with all the snow from the shed roof to Aboobable: Keep digging in that snow cave. You still won't find me.

GM: Good tag line, I like it!

Snowshoe Hare to GM: Rabbit Redux and Up your dike for your comments last turn.

GM to Snowshoe Hare: Methinks someone swallowed a hare ball!

Snowboarder to Faky Shrek: Me ride faky 2. Y dew U? Whatzur board, dude? Cool. Like wow. Bad ice. No more. sliding onnnnnnnn.

St. Valentine's to Cold Hearted ones: Even though I could not find a heart in any of you to hit with one of my arrows, I am putting the love potion in your snow balls and hope that some gets absorbed. Good lovin' to each and every one of you, plus you to, GM.

GM – St. V: Mainy thanks, but you need to put away that bow, you might hurt someone with those pointy arrows. Here, have a nice slush ball and play nice.

SB-DB: That's for hitting my target, ah, friend, the Snowshit hair.

SB-SH: I'll cover you, lil buddy,... run for the door... get in the house and stick the kettle on, please.

SB-AS: You give good head, my friend. Can you give good torso too, or is that too much of a mouthful?

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